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BLFC Meme Thing
General | Posted 12 years agoFigured since I'm going, and I haven't posted a journal in ages, I'd give this a shot.
What days will you be there? Arriving Friday morning, leaving Monday.
Who will you hang out with during the convention? Definitely my adorable raccoon,
Traxer, and definitely a few friends, Damon Husky, Markaroo, T-Wolf and Zato. Beyond that, I'm down for hanging with most people.
Where will you be staying? Con hotel.
Are there any panels you might be attending? Not sure, but if something catches my eye, sure.
Where can I find you? Probably the casino floor, laser tag, or wherever there's alcohol.
What is your gender? Male
How old are you? 25
Can I talk to you? If I'm not too busy, sure!
Can I buy you a drink? Yeah, like I'm gonna turn down free booze. :3
What's your poison? Preferably something with rum, vodka or gin, but I'm not too picky.
Can I hug you? If I know ya at least a little, sure.
How tall are you? Iiiii'm tiny at just 5' 6"
Are you nice? Hell no! Except for most of the time.
Are you friendly? I try my best to be friendly, to negate my joke from above. :3
Do you like parties? Small parties, sure. I like drinking and talking to peeps in small crowds.
Can I give you a gift? Totally not required.
If I see you, how should I get your attention? Just come up and chat if I'm not too busy. Otherwise, just shout "Hey asshole" and you'll probably get my attention.
What days will you be there? Arriving Friday morning, leaving Monday.
Who will you hang out with during the convention? Definitely my adorable raccoon,
Traxer, and definitely a few friends, Damon Husky, Markaroo, T-Wolf and Zato. Beyond that, I'm down for hanging with most people.Where will you be staying? Con hotel.
Are there any panels you might be attending? Not sure, but if something catches my eye, sure.
Where can I find you? Probably the casino floor, laser tag, or wherever there's alcohol.
What is your gender? Male
How old are you? 25
Can I talk to you? If I'm not too busy, sure!
Can I buy you a drink? Yeah, like I'm gonna turn down free booze. :3
What's your poison? Preferably something with rum, vodka or gin, but I'm not too picky.
Can I hug you? If I know ya at least a little, sure.
How tall are you? Iiiii'm tiny at just 5' 6"
Are you nice? Hell no! Except for most of the time.
Are you friendly? I try my best to be friendly, to negate my joke from above. :3
Do you like parties? Small parties, sure. I like drinking and talking to peeps in small crowds.
Can I give you a gift? Totally not required.
If I see you, how should I get your attention? Just come up and chat if I'm not too busy. Otherwise, just shout "Hey asshole" and you'll probably get my attention.
Resolutions
General | Posted 13 years ago I know that New Years is the time to make up new goals and try to improve yourself overall as a person, so I think I’m gonna do that. I’ve also heard it’s easier if you write these goals down (and publicly posting them should help as you may all ridicule me for not completing them). With that in mind, I have a few goals to try and make this year. I’m not going to have too many of them for fear of overloading myself, but what I do have in mind should help me become a better person overall.
For starters, I NEED to get a novel, or at least 5 short stories, written and published this year, even if it’s just self-publishing online. I’ve slacked off on my writing for years now due to crippling writer’s block, but I refuse to let it rule my life any longer. I feel like I’ve wasted so much time and let so many ideas languish just because I’m afraid of not creating something amazing on the first draft. Fear of failure is not an option anymore.
The next thing on my list is to lose the small gut I’ve been forming the last few months and get some upper body mass. Having that would actually help me out in my job significantly, as some of the stuff I have to move around is pretty big and heavy. Who would have thought working in science would be easier once you got huge?
Another goal is one I’ve had for a while. Learning another language would help me out significantly, both professionally and personally. I want to be able to speak German at least somewhat decently by this time next year.
My last one is to manage to be financially sound enough to get out and get a place of my own, and to be ahead on my payments. Another aspect of this is to create a hard budget, and be strict about sticking to it, no matter what. I want to be financially secure as soon as possible and get out of debt as soon as I’m able to.
These are my goals. I really hope to be a better person and be in a better place by this time next year. I’ve spent too long feeling like I’m stalled. I’m going to spend at least one hour a day working on these goals until I achieve them, or until I run out of days. Here’s hoping I can manage it.
For starters, I NEED to get a novel, or at least 5 short stories, written and published this year, even if it’s just self-publishing online. I’ve slacked off on my writing for years now due to crippling writer’s block, but I refuse to let it rule my life any longer. I feel like I’ve wasted so much time and let so many ideas languish just because I’m afraid of not creating something amazing on the first draft. Fear of failure is not an option anymore.
The next thing on my list is to lose the small gut I’ve been forming the last few months and get some upper body mass. Having that would actually help me out in my job significantly, as some of the stuff I have to move around is pretty big and heavy. Who would have thought working in science would be easier once you got huge?
Another goal is one I’ve had for a while. Learning another language would help me out significantly, both professionally and personally. I want to be able to speak German at least somewhat decently by this time next year.
My last one is to manage to be financially sound enough to get out and get a place of my own, and to be ahead on my payments. Another aspect of this is to create a hard budget, and be strict about sticking to it, no matter what. I want to be financially secure as soon as possible and get out of debt as soon as I’m able to.
These are my goals. I really hope to be a better person and be in a better place by this time next year. I’ve spent too long feeling like I’m stalled. I’m going to spend at least one hour a day working on these goals until I achieve them, or until I run out of days. Here’s hoping I can manage it.
Personality Test Thing
General | Posted 14 years agoStole this from 
Navawolfe
Passionate
You are in touch with your emotions, and sometimes you react before you think. The good news: you don't tamp down your feelings. The bad news: you sometimes say or do things that you later wish you could take back.
You do not live your life on an even keel; you do not go for long periods without experiencing some mood swings.
Aesthetic
You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it. Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.
You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.
Creative
You are good at solving problems, coming up with original ideas, and seeing connections between things, connections that most other people miss. People with a high score on the "creative" trait often are employed in such fields as finance and scientific research, and enjoy avant garde and classical music as well as literary fiction and scholarly non-fiction.
You do not shun abstractions and concepts in favor of the concrete and tangible.
Organized
You like to think a task through before you embark on it. If it's the slightest bit complicated, you make a list (even if it's only in your mind) and methodically work your way through it. When you have a goal in mind, you're not satisfied until you reach it.
You are not one of those people who ignore the details, and you don't understand how anyone can get anything accomplished without thoughtful planning ahead of time.
Intellectual
You are thoughtful, rational, and comfortable in the world of ideas. People find you interesting to talk to. You're the living embodiment of the saying "You learn something new every day." In general, those with a high score on the "intellectual" trait are employed in such fields as teaching and research, and are enthusiastic about reading, foreign films, and classical music.
You do not avoid abstract conversation, experimenting with new ideas, or studying new things. It bores you to stick to the straight and narrow of what you already know.
Sympathetic
You have a knack for knowing what's going on in the hearts and minds of those around you, without their having to tell you explicitly. People tend to turn to you with their problems because they know you care, and that you will likely offer good advice and a helping hand.
You do not feel that people with sad stories are just looking for attention, or have brought their problems upon themselves.
Curious
You like to get to the bottom of things. You're not content knowing what someone did; you want to know why they did it.
You don't simply take things as they are and move on; you're not content skimming along on the surface; you don't feel you're wasting time by digging for the meaning of things.
Solitary
You are a private person, not very comfortable in a big group, and view excessive socializing as a waste of time.
You not prefer hanging out with others to spending time alone; you do not tend to feel at home in a crowded room, club, stadium, or auditorium.
Assertive
You behave in a confident and forceful manner, take charge of the situation, raise your hand in class, stand up for what you think is right, and lead others. Among those who have a high score on the "assertive" trait, many have jobs in which they are valued for their organizational skills as well as their talent for supervising others.
You are not interested in fading into the woodwork, leaving everything to fate, taking more time than necessary to accomplish a task, or avoiding confrontation.
Cooperative
You enjoy teamwork, play well with others, and prefer getting along to winning.
You're not compelled to win every contest nor to be right all the time.
Try it out here -- http://www.signalpatterns.com/psych_central/
I guess it's fairly accurate on most of the results, but I'll contest the "assertive" result. I'm as far away from assertive as a person can be.
NavawolfePassionate
You are in touch with your emotions, and sometimes you react before you think. The good news: you don't tamp down your feelings. The bad news: you sometimes say or do things that you later wish you could take back.
You do not live your life on an even keel; you do not go for long periods without experiencing some mood swings.
Aesthetic
You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it. Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.
You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.
Creative
You are good at solving problems, coming up with original ideas, and seeing connections between things, connections that most other people miss. People with a high score on the "creative" trait often are employed in such fields as finance and scientific research, and enjoy avant garde and classical music as well as literary fiction and scholarly non-fiction.
You do not shun abstractions and concepts in favor of the concrete and tangible.
Organized
You like to think a task through before you embark on it. If it's the slightest bit complicated, you make a list (even if it's only in your mind) and methodically work your way through it. When you have a goal in mind, you're not satisfied until you reach it.
You are not one of those people who ignore the details, and you don't understand how anyone can get anything accomplished without thoughtful planning ahead of time.
Intellectual
You are thoughtful, rational, and comfortable in the world of ideas. People find you interesting to talk to. You're the living embodiment of the saying "You learn something new every day." In general, those with a high score on the "intellectual" trait are employed in such fields as teaching and research, and are enthusiastic about reading, foreign films, and classical music.
You do not avoid abstract conversation, experimenting with new ideas, or studying new things. It bores you to stick to the straight and narrow of what you already know.
Sympathetic
You have a knack for knowing what's going on in the hearts and minds of those around you, without their having to tell you explicitly. People tend to turn to you with their problems because they know you care, and that you will likely offer good advice and a helping hand.
You do not feel that people with sad stories are just looking for attention, or have brought their problems upon themselves.
Curious
You like to get to the bottom of things. You're not content knowing what someone did; you want to know why they did it.
You don't simply take things as they are and move on; you're not content skimming along on the surface; you don't feel you're wasting time by digging for the meaning of things.
Solitary
You are a private person, not very comfortable in a big group, and view excessive socializing as a waste of time.
You not prefer hanging out with others to spending time alone; you do not tend to feel at home in a crowded room, club, stadium, or auditorium.
Assertive
You behave in a confident and forceful manner, take charge of the situation, raise your hand in class, stand up for what you think is right, and lead others. Among those who have a high score on the "assertive" trait, many have jobs in which they are valued for their organizational skills as well as their talent for supervising others.
You are not interested in fading into the woodwork, leaving everything to fate, taking more time than necessary to accomplish a task, or avoiding confrontation.
Cooperative
You enjoy teamwork, play well with others, and prefer getting along to winning.
You're not compelled to win every contest nor to be right all the time.
Try it out here -- http://www.signalpatterns.com/psych_central/
I guess it's fairly accurate on most of the results, but I'll contest the "assertive" result. I'm as far away from assertive as a person can be.
Belated Thank You
General | Posted 14 years agoI know this is really, *really* late, but I wanted to thank everyone for the watches and favs. I kind of dropped the ball on keeping up with them and, well, I feel kind of embarrassed about it. Seriously though, thanks a ton for them! I'll keep up with them from now on! :D
Truth Meme Thing
General | Posted 15 years agoShamelessly stolen from 
Jack-Shade
Few people are man/woman enough to openly answer any and all questions thrown at them. Are you? Prove it. Copy/Paste this as a new journal entry and answer every question you get.
The rules are simple:
-You must answer every question you get no matter what it's about and you must do so honestly.
-There are no questions that can not be asked as long as they are' within the rules of FA. They can be personal, about OCs, drama inducing, and every thing in between.
Jack-ShadeFew people are man/woman enough to openly answer any and all questions thrown at them. Are you? Prove it. Copy/Paste this as a new journal entry and answer every question you get.
The rules are simple:
-You must answer every question you get no matter what it's about and you must do so honestly.
-There are no questions that can not be asked as long as they are' within the rules of FA. They can be personal, about OCs, drama inducing, and every thing in between.
I'm Afraid of 8 out of 72 Common Fears.
General | Posted 15 years agoStolen from 
KogentaBlackfang
[] Staying single forever.
[] Being a parent.
[] Giving birth.
[] Open spaces.
[] Closed spaces.
[] Heights.
[] Dogs.
[] Birds.
[] Fish.
[X] Spiders.
[] Flowers or other plants.
Total so far: 1
[] Being touched.
[] Fire.
[X] Deep water.
[] Snakes.
[] Silk.
[] The ocean.
[X] Failure.
[] Success.
[] Thunder/lightning.
[] Frogs/toads.
[] My boyfriend's/girlfriend's dad.
[] My boyfriend's/girlfriend's mom.
[] Rats.
[] Jumping from high places.
[] Snow.
Total so far: 3
[] Rain.
[] Wind.
[] Crossing hanging bridges.
[X] Death.
[] Heaven.
[] Being robbed.
[] Falling.
[] Clowns.
[] Dolls.
[] Large crowds of people. (Not really afraid of them, but they tend to make me irritable.)
[] Men.
[] Women.
[] Having great responsibilities.
[] Doctors, including dentists.
[] Tornadoes.
Total so far: 4
[] Hurricanes.
[X] Incurable diseases.
[] Sharks.
[] Friday the 13th.
[] Ghosts.
[] Poverty.
[] Halloween.
[] School.
[] Trains.
[] Odd numbers.
[] Even numbers.
[X] Being alone.
[] Becoming blind.
[] Becoming deaf.
[] Growing up.
Total so far: 6
[X] Creepy noises in the night.
[] Bee stings.
[X] Not accomplishing my dreams/goals.
[] Needles.
[] Blood.
[] Dinosaurs.
[] The welcome mat.
[] High speed.
[] Throwing up.
[] Falling in love.
[] Super secrets.
8 out of 72...I guess that's not too bad, then.
KogentaBlackfang[] Staying single forever.
[] Being a parent.
[] Giving birth.
[] Open spaces.
[] Closed spaces.
[] Heights.
[] Dogs.
[] Birds.
[] Fish.
[X] Spiders.
[] Flowers or other plants.
Total so far: 1
[] Being touched.
[] Fire.
[X] Deep water.
[] Snakes.
[] Silk.
[] The ocean.
[X] Failure.
[] Success.
[] Thunder/lightning.
[] Frogs/toads.
[] My boyfriend's/girlfriend's dad.
[] My boyfriend's/girlfriend's mom.
[] Rats.
[] Jumping from high places.
[] Snow.
Total so far: 3
[] Rain.
[] Wind.
[] Crossing hanging bridges.
[X] Death.
[] Heaven.
[] Being robbed.
[] Falling.
[] Clowns.
[] Dolls.
[] Large crowds of people. (Not really afraid of them, but they tend to make me irritable.)
[] Men.
[] Women.
[] Having great responsibilities.
[] Doctors, including dentists.
[] Tornadoes.
Total so far: 4
[] Hurricanes.
[X] Incurable diseases.
[] Sharks.
[] Friday the 13th.
[] Ghosts.
[] Poverty.
[] Halloween.
[] School.
[] Trains.
[] Odd numbers.
[] Even numbers.
[X] Being alone.
[] Becoming blind.
[] Becoming deaf.
[] Growing up.
Total so far: 6
[X] Creepy noises in the night.
[] Bee stings.
[X] Not accomplishing my dreams/goals.
[] Needles.
[] Blood.
[] Dinosaurs.
[] The welcome mat.
[] High speed.
[] Throwing up.
[] Falling in love.
[] Super secrets.
8 out of 72...I guess that's not too bad, then.
FC Meme Thing
General | Posted 15 years agoArrival and Departure:
Arriving Friday evening, leaving Monday afternoon.
Staying at:
The Fairmont
Mode of Transportation:
Plane/paws
Room Share:
DamonHusky and a mystery bunny.
Major Plans at the Con:
Mostly just hanging out with friends and meeting new people. I'll be attending a lot of writing panels, though, and to my knowledge, I might even be on one. :)
Who Will I be with:
The Utah furs and the bay area furs, but there are others I want to see and hang with too.
Fursuit(s):
If I can get it on the plane in my luggage, then I'll have my otter fursuit.
Attending Parties:
Honestly, I don't know. It's whatever I get invited to at the con, if any, I'd imagine.
How best to find me:
I'll probably be either in the writing panels or the bar most of the con. Those are good places to start. If not, check the game room.
Stage Performance:
Not that I'm aware of.
Do you drink?
Hell yeah!
Do you smoke?
Once in a blue moon, yes, but those are rare occurrences.
Can I hug you?
Sure, just don't catch me off guard beforehand. :)
Can I talk to you?
Absolutely
Do you do art?
I don't really draw that well.
Do you do trades?
Not really.
What is your gender?
Male
How old are you?
22
Can I touch you?
Start with hugs and we'll see where it goes from there. ;)
Can I buy you lots of drinks?
Yes! My favorites are mind erasers, Bombay Sapphire, peppermint schnapps, AMFs and ruffie coladas.
Can I give you lots of money?
Actually, I don't normally like getting gifts unless it's in liquid form.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
I think we established this earlier. ;)
How tall are you?
5' 6"
If you look pissed off out of suit can I come up to you?
I doubt I'll get annoyed a the con, but I promise not to bite anyone's heads off if I do.
Are you nice?
As far as I'm aware of. :)
Are you cliquey?
Sometimes, but I honestly try to spread myself out over as many people as I can.
Can I stalk you?
I, uh... why would you want to do that? There are better people to stalk, I assure you.
Do you like parties?
Hell yeah!
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Just call my name out tap me on the shoulder.
Are you fursuiting?
If I can bring my suit with me, I'll suit for a bit.
Can I ask you to dance with me during the dances?
I don't usually go to the dances, but if I do, then sure.
Can I buy you breakfast, lunch or dinner sometime?
This falls under the gift category. I appreciate the offer, though. :)
Can I take a picture of you?
Sure
Can I Steal you away for naughty things?
Depends on who you are and how well I know you.
Would you like to get a commission done of you?
Of course! I plan on getting several.
Do you like Shinies?
Sweetie, I'm an otter. I'm obligated to like them.
Arriving Friday evening, leaving Monday afternoon.
Staying at:
The Fairmont
Mode of Transportation:
Plane/paws
Room Share:
DamonHusky and a mystery bunny.Major Plans at the Con:
Mostly just hanging out with friends and meeting new people. I'll be attending a lot of writing panels, though, and to my knowledge, I might even be on one. :)
Who Will I be with:
The Utah furs and the bay area furs, but there are others I want to see and hang with too.
Fursuit(s):
If I can get it on the plane in my luggage, then I'll have my otter fursuit.
Attending Parties:
Honestly, I don't know. It's whatever I get invited to at the con, if any, I'd imagine.
How best to find me:
I'll probably be either in the writing panels or the bar most of the con. Those are good places to start. If not, check the game room.
Stage Performance:
Not that I'm aware of.
Do you drink?
Hell yeah!
Do you smoke?
Once in a blue moon, yes, but those are rare occurrences.
Can I hug you?
Sure, just don't catch me off guard beforehand. :)
Can I talk to you?
Absolutely
Do you do art?
I don't really draw that well.
Do you do trades?
Not really.
What is your gender?
Male
How old are you?
22
Can I touch you?
Start with hugs and we'll see where it goes from there. ;)
Can I buy you lots of drinks?
Yes! My favorites are mind erasers, Bombay Sapphire, peppermint schnapps, AMFs and ruffie coladas.
Can I give you lots of money?
Actually, I don't normally like getting gifts unless it's in liquid form.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
I think we established this earlier. ;)
How tall are you?
5' 6"
If you look pissed off out of suit can I come up to you?
I doubt I'll get annoyed a the con, but I promise not to bite anyone's heads off if I do.
Are you nice?
As far as I'm aware of. :)
Are you cliquey?
Sometimes, but I honestly try to spread myself out over as many people as I can.
Can I stalk you?
I, uh... why would you want to do that? There are better people to stalk, I assure you.
Do you like parties?
Hell yeah!
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Just call my name out tap me on the shoulder.
Are you fursuiting?
If I can bring my suit with me, I'll suit for a bit.
Can I ask you to dance with me during the dances?
I don't usually go to the dances, but if I do, then sure.
Can I buy you breakfast, lunch or dinner sometime?
This falls under the gift category. I appreciate the offer, though. :)
Can I take a picture of you?
Sure
Can I Steal you away for naughty things?
Depends on who you are and how well I know you.
Would you like to get a commission done of you?
Of course! I plan on getting several.
Do you like Shinies?
Sweetie, I'm an otter. I'm obligated to like them.
Common Denominator
General | Posted 15 years agoI've been doing a lot of thinking over the last day or so, after having a massive stress/anxiety breakdown yesterday (for which I apologize. I always seem to get in this state at the beginning of December due to an onslaught of various factors). I've been breaking down all the issues I feel I have, and as I broke them down to cause after cause after cause, each issue kept arriving at the same basic cause of problem.
Why am I stressed? Because I'm worried about what I don't know for the tests, or about whether the next day of work is going to be awful. Why do I have such bad social anxiety? I feel like I'm a terrible conversationalist, that I have no interesting stories to tell, that I might do something that will make people not like me. Why am I afraid of failure so much? Because I think I'll look like an idiot if it happens.
I found that all of these things have a common theme, when broken down enough. I obviously have a tendency to dwell on the negative and have a pessimistic outlook on things. They fester inside of me and, more than likely, cause me all of the problems, physical, mental, and emotional, that I have.
This got me thinking. Do I really have no interesting stories to tell? If I don't, why can't I make some? Why should I focus on what I don't know when what I do know is probably far greater? Perhaps the next day of work won't be awful, but fantastic. Maybe I'm being to calculating when talking, too worried about walking on eggshells to really *be* good at it. Maybe that failure is really just an opportunity to expand on what I know (and hey, it might even make a good story for later).
Granted, I'm still looking into the option of getting a therapist or something, because in all honesty, it probably is a good idea. Still, I'm making the resolution to quit being such a god damn Debbie downer and look at what makes life good. This'll probably do me more good than any amount of whining or medication would.
(Also, seriously thanks to everyone who offered a helping hand, and to all my friends. You guys really don't know how much you all mean to me.)
Why am I stressed? Because I'm worried about what I don't know for the tests, or about whether the next day of work is going to be awful. Why do I have such bad social anxiety? I feel like I'm a terrible conversationalist, that I have no interesting stories to tell, that I might do something that will make people not like me. Why am I afraid of failure so much? Because I think I'll look like an idiot if it happens.
I found that all of these things have a common theme, when broken down enough. I obviously have a tendency to dwell on the negative and have a pessimistic outlook on things. They fester inside of me and, more than likely, cause me all of the problems, physical, mental, and emotional, that I have.
This got me thinking. Do I really have no interesting stories to tell? If I don't, why can't I make some? Why should I focus on what I don't know when what I do know is probably far greater? Perhaps the next day of work won't be awful, but fantastic. Maybe I'm being to calculating when talking, too worried about walking on eggshells to really *be* good at it. Maybe that failure is really just an opportunity to expand on what I know (and hey, it might even make a good story for later).
Granted, I'm still looking into the option of getting a therapist or something, because in all honesty, it probably is a good idea. Still, I'm making the resolution to quit being such a god damn Debbie downer and look at what makes life good. This'll probably do me more good than any amount of whining or medication would.
(Also, seriously thanks to everyone who offered a helping hand, and to all my friends. You guys really don't know how much you all mean to me.)
Ten Day Meme Day 10
General | Posted 15 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Well, this is kind of a cop-out, since my confession has two parts to it, but since the second one is kind of veiled and cryptic anyway, I'll count them together.
I'm afraid of a lot of things. I try to hide them, but there are two in particular that truly get in the way of living my life to its fullest extent. I hate them with a passion and I want to do anything I can do to throw them out of my psyche.
The first one is failure. I don't know why the idea of failure terrifies me, but it's enough to keep me from trying to do new things, because the idea of not being successful on my first try just infuriates and scares me. I know if I could kick this fear out of my life, I could do so much more than I already do.
The other one is one I'm not quite as willing to share, but I might as well for people who know me well enough. This particular fear can be summarized pretty well by the opening lines of the tenth song on my favorite music album of all time. It's one that, more than anything, I wish I could conquer, because I know how irrational it is, and it does nothing but hurt me, but conquering it is still one of my greatest challenges.
Anyway, there ya go for a confession.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Well, this is kind of a cop-out, since my confession has two parts to it, but since the second one is kind of veiled and cryptic anyway, I'll count them together.
I'm afraid of a lot of things. I try to hide them, but there are two in particular that truly get in the way of living my life to its fullest extent. I hate them with a passion and I want to do anything I can do to throw them out of my psyche.
The first one is failure. I don't know why the idea of failure terrifies me, but it's enough to keep me from trying to do new things, because the idea of not being successful on my first try just infuriates and scares me. I know if I could kick this fear out of my life, I could do so much more than I already do.
The other one is one I'm not quite as willing to share, but I might as well for people who know me well enough. This particular fear can be summarized pretty well by the opening lines of the tenth song on my favorite music album of all time. It's one that, more than anything, I wish I could conquer, because I know how irrational it is, and it does nothing but hurt me, but conquering it is still one of my greatest challenges.
Anyway, there ya go for a confession.
Ten Day Meme Day 9
General | Posted 15 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
1. o.0 for school and school related things.
2. :D for everything else.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
1. o.0 for school and school related things.
2. :D for everything else.
Ten Day Meme Day 8
General | Posted 15 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
1. If you're great at flirting, don't hold back. I like it more than you can possibly imagine.
2. Nibble on my ears and you've got my full attention.
3. Be passionate with your advances and playfulness. I promise I don't mind, and you;ll definitely get your efforts returned in full, or more.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
1. If you're great at flirting, don't hold back. I like it more than you can possibly imagine.
2. Nibble on my ears and you've got my full attention.
3. Be passionate with your advances and playfulness. I promise I don't mind, and you;ll definitely get your efforts returned in full, or more.
Ten Day Meme Day 7
General | Posted 15 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Three in one day due to my lack of updating!
1. Harshness and cruelness. Seriously, I absolutely cannot stand seeing other people getting hurt, or being hurt, intentionally. I'm perfectly fine with bondage stuff, and actually kind of like it, but the first sign of SM and I'm too winced and jolted to be aroused.
2. Following me like a lost pet. Like, even with people I really, really like, I need a break from them. If I don't get that break, I start getting really annoyed. If I don't get that break for long periods of time, it causes problems.
3. This may be an echo from number one, but assholes never make it far with me in my book.
4. Getting led on. Look, don't jerk me around. If you don't intend for anything to happen, don't toy with my emotions. I've got better things to do than waste my time with wild goose chases.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Three in one day due to my lack of updating!
1. Harshness and cruelness. Seriously, I absolutely cannot stand seeing other people getting hurt, or being hurt, intentionally. I'm perfectly fine with bondage stuff, and actually kind of like it, but the first sign of SM and I'm too winced and jolted to be aroused.
2. Following me like a lost pet. Like, even with people I really, really like, I need a break from them. If I don't get that break, I start getting really annoyed. If I don't get that break for long periods of time, it causes problems.
3. This may be an echo from number one, but assholes never make it far with me in my book.
4. Getting led on. Look, don't jerk me around. If you don't intend for anything to happen, don't toy with my emotions. I've got better things to do than waste my time with wild goose chases.
Ten Day Meme Day 6
General | Posted 15 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Posting this early because I don't know how busy I'll be tomorrow. I'm also not including family because that would be way too obvious and would fill up my list.
1. My 12th grade English teacher, Seriously, you helped open my eyes to a lot of things. You were my favorite teacher of all time, and I can't express my gratitude enough for that.
2.
Rikoshi I just want you to know that I consider you one of the best things to ever happen to me. Honestly, you're one of the two reasons I actually started giving a damn about trying to apply myself to my full potential.
3. DamonHusky For the same reasons stated above.
4.
Kyell I don't know if he knows this, but his short story, Aquifers, and his novel, Waterways, helped me more than anyone could have hoped to help me when I was going through a hard time with coming to terms with those things, and it's also the reason I even got into writing. I can't thank him enough for that.
5. Despite the fact that I disagree with him on almost every issue imaginable, I have to thank my 12th grade chem teacher. You helped me find my calling in life, and that, to me, is worth more than any perry argument can destroy.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
Posting this early because I don't know how busy I'll be tomorrow. I'm also not including family because that would be way too obvious and would fill up my list.
1. My 12th grade English teacher, Seriously, you helped open my eyes to a lot of things. You were my favorite teacher of all time, and I can't express my gratitude enough for that.
2.
Rikoshi I just want you to know that I consider you one of the best things to ever happen to me. Honestly, you're one of the two reasons I actually started giving a damn about trying to apply myself to my full potential.3.
DamonHusky For the same reasons stated above.4.
Kyell I don't know if he knows this, but his short story, Aquifers, and his novel, Waterways, helped me more than anyone could have hoped to help me when I was going through a hard time with coming to terms with those things, and it's also the reason I even got into writing. I can't thank him enough for that.5. Despite the fact that I disagree with him on almost every issue imaginable, I have to thank my 12th grade chem teacher. You helped me find my calling in life, and that, to me, is worth more than any perry argument can destroy.
Ten Day Meme Day 5
General | Posted 15 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
1. Ridden my bike down that hill without holding the handlebars when I was eleven. If I hadn't, I probably wouldn't be nearly as afraid of losing my life or taking risks as I am today.
2. Secluding myself in high school. All I really did was reinforce a lot of insecurities by doing that, and I missed out on a lot of good times by keeping to myself in high school.
3. Back in junior high, I did something rash that, to this day, I'm ashamed I did. I don't want to go into details about it, but if I could take it back, I would.
4. There was something that involved my mom earlier this year that came up, and when it came time to make a decision, I totally made the wrong one, and I feel guilty about it to this day. I swear to god I'll never make it again because of how I felt when I realized what I'd done.
5. I wish I was a stronger person emotionally speaking. I tend to let myself dwell on stupid things that don't mean anything, and play them up in my mind until they become horrible scenarios, and that only ever ends up hurting me and the people around me. I try every day to change that about myself, but it's been a hard process.
6. I wish I had been bigger on reading earlier on. I was so great about it when I was younger, but I let video games and other things take that away from me until recently. I always stop to think if I might be even better at writing and other things if I had stuck with it consistently.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
1. Ridden my bike down that hill without holding the handlebars when I was eleven. If I hadn't, I probably wouldn't be nearly as afraid of losing my life or taking risks as I am today.
2. Secluding myself in high school. All I really did was reinforce a lot of insecurities by doing that, and I missed out on a lot of good times by keeping to myself in high school.
3. Back in junior high, I did something rash that, to this day, I'm ashamed I did. I don't want to go into details about it, but if I could take it back, I would.
4. There was something that involved my mom earlier this year that came up, and when it came time to make a decision, I totally made the wrong one, and I feel guilty about it to this day. I swear to god I'll never make it again because of how I felt when I realized what I'd done.
5. I wish I was a stronger person emotionally speaking. I tend to let myself dwell on stupid things that don't mean anything, and play them up in my mind until they become horrible scenarios, and that only ever ends up hurting me and the people around me. I try every day to change that about myself, but it's been a hard process.
6. I wish I had been bigger on reading earlier on. I was so great about it when I was younger, but I let video games and other things take that away from me until recently. I always stop to think if I might be even better at writing and other things if I had stuck with it consistently.
Ten Day Meme Day 4
General | Posted 15 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
1. "Oh god oh god, I am *so* not ready for this test."
2. "Damn you, you unruly words, I command you to obey your master!"
3. "Just calm down, Atari. It's probably not nearly as bad as you think it is."
4. "I'm pretty sure that [insert random thing here] is the most amazing thing ever."
5. "What I wouldn't give to be able to slow time down..."
6. "How long is it until [Insert furcon name here]"
7. "Okay, you've gotten this far. No reason why you can't improve more."
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
1. "Oh god oh god, I am *so* not ready for this test."
2. "Damn you, you unruly words, I command you to obey your master!"
3. "Just calm down, Atari. It's probably not nearly as bad as you think it is."
4. "I'm pretty sure that [insert random thing here] is the most amazing thing ever."
5. "What I wouldn't give to be able to slow time down..."
6. "How long is it until [Insert furcon name here]"
7. "Okay, you've gotten this far. No reason why you can't improve more."
Ten Day Meme Day 3
General | Posted 15 years agoDoing an additional one today since I missed yesterday due to test studying.
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
1. Just being a kind person. You have no idea how much I like seeing kindness in people.
2. A good sense of humor is definitely a plus.
3. Dealing with geekery of otters.
4. Good cooking/bartending skills are super nice to have.
5. Little surprises, like a sudden pull aside for kissing or something like that.
6. Honestly, just making me feel special in general is going to go a long way (not to sound egotistical or conceited, because those are actually turn-offs imo)
7. I'll admit, though, I definitely have a soft-spot in my heart for smart people.
8. Gamers, video, pen-and-paper, or otherwise, also go a long way for me.
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
1. Just being a kind person. You have no idea how much I like seeing kindness in people.
2. A good sense of humor is definitely a plus.
3. Dealing with geekery of otters.
4. Good cooking/bartending skills are super nice to have.
5. Little surprises, like a sudden pull aside for kissing or something like that.
6. Honestly, just making me feel special in general is going to go a long way (not to sound egotistical or conceited, because those are actually turn-offs imo)
7. I'll admit, though, I definitely have a soft-spot in my heart for smart people.
8. Gamers, video, pen-and-paper, or otherwise, also go a long way for me.
Ten Day Meme Day 2
General | Posted 15 years agoDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
1. I'm currently working hard on getting a chemistry degree, which is something I've wanted since my first high school chem class.
2. I have a lot of social anxiety and shyness I've been working through for the last few years, because it gets in the way of one of my favorite things, which is hanging out and talking with people.
3. I used to be quite the religious person, but time and other factors altered my viewpoints on the subject (even before I knew I was gay).
4. Despite my general lack of knowledge of sports, I really like snowboarding. Like, a lot.
5. I'm a huge geek, especially for Tron, Firefly, and Battlestar Galactica.
6. I have a hard time with seeking out new things and trying them on my own. It's something i need to work on, because I don't like only finding things through other people.
7. I've gotten into writing over the last year or so, at least in a serious sense. I get a lot of pride when I look at how much I've been taught about the craft, and hope to one day have a novel published.
8. My college life feels like it should be a lot more wild than it is. I've a dead log when it comes to partying outside of cons. >.>
9. I consider myself one of the luckiest people alive when I look around at all the friends I've made over the last few years. Seriously, I feel like I wouldn't be where I am today without all of you!
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
1. I'm currently working hard on getting a chemistry degree, which is something I've wanted since my first high school chem class.
2. I have a lot of social anxiety and shyness I've been working through for the last few years, because it gets in the way of one of my favorite things, which is hanging out and talking with people.
3. I used to be quite the religious person, but time and other factors altered my viewpoints on the subject (even before I knew I was gay).
4. Despite my general lack of knowledge of sports, I really like snowboarding. Like, a lot.
5. I'm a huge geek, especially for Tron, Firefly, and Battlestar Galactica.
6. I have a hard time with seeking out new things and trying them on my own. It's something i need to work on, because I don't like only finding things through other people.
7. I've gotten into writing over the last year or so, at least in a serious sense. I get a lot of pride when I look at how much I've been taught about the craft, and hope to one day have a novel published.
8. My college life feels like it should be a lot more wild than it is. I've a dead log when it comes to partying outside of cons. >.>
9. I consider myself one of the luckiest people alive when I look around at all the friends I've made over the last few years. Seriously, I feel like I wouldn't be where I am today without all of you!
Ten Day Meme Thing
General | Posted 15 years agoWell, since I haven't really been active on this site much over the last few months, I figured I'd try to fix that by jacking this meme that's been floating around FA.
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
10. I know I've told you this before, but you're one of my best friends on the planet, and I don't think I can ever thank you enough for putting up with me.
9. I really should thank you, because if I never dated you, I never would have learned how to spot user douchebags like you.
8. Don't be upset at me when you're the one who refuses to accept that people can have ideals, opinions, and standards that conflict with your own.
7. I'm sorry I don't see you as often as I'd like, but right now I have priorities that outweigh socialization.
6. You're a cool and very sweet guy, and I can't stress that enough. Things might be bad now, but believe me when I say that one day you'll find someone who deserves you, and whom you deserve back.
5. I sincerely hope I never hurt you, because it was never intentional. Things happened, but I still consider you one of my best friends in the world, and I know I wouldn't be doing nearly as well as I am without you.
4. You know, it's funny. I never could figure out why I never had the courage to talk to you until I realized I had a crush on you, but by then, you'd already left. If only I had the chance to sit down and talk with you some more...
3. You kept me as sane as I could have been during a weird time for me, and I don't know if I can ever repay you for your help.
2. Look, that new gadget *is* nice, shiny, new, and on sale, but you and I both know you shouldn't be buying it until you get your finances in better order.
1. I thank whatever deities control the universe every day when I look at you, because honestly, I have no idea what I would have done if I had lost you.
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession
10. I know I've told you this before, but you're one of my best friends on the planet, and I don't think I can ever thank you enough for putting up with me.
9. I really should thank you, because if I never dated you, I never would have learned how to spot user douchebags like you.
8. Don't be upset at me when you're the one who refuses to accept that people can have ideals, opinions, and standards that conflict with your own.
7. I'm sorry I don't see you as often as I'd like, but right now I have priorities that outweigh socialization.
6. You're a cool and very sweet guy, and I can't stress that enough. Things might be bad now, but believe me when I say that one day you'll find someone who deserves you, and whom you deserve back.
5. I sincerely hope I never hurt you, because it was never intentional. Things happened, but I still consider you one of my best friends in the world, and I know I wouldn't be doing nearly as well as I am without you.
4. You know, it's funny. I never could figure out why I never had the courage to talk to you until I realized I had a crush on you, but by then, you'd already left. If only I had the chance to sit down and talk with you some more...
3. You kept me as sane as I could have been during a weird time for me, and I don't know if I can ever repay you for your help.
2. Look, that new gadget *is* nice, shiny, new, and on sale, but you and I both know you shouldn't be buying it until you get your finances in better order.
1. I thank whatever deities control the universe every day when I look at you, because honestly, I have no idea what I would have done if I had lost you.
The Best Day Ever
General | Posted 15 years agoI totally just got the news that I'll be going back to my old shift in about a week and a half. I'll be making a lot more money, I'll have my Friday nights back again, and I'll be working under my old bosses who were both really cool dudes.
Yeah, today is going to be filled with awesome. :D
Yeah, today is going to be filled with awesome. :D
Formspring Thing.
General | Posted 16 years agoIf anyone cares to ask me really embarrassing stuff guilt free, then I've set up this Formspring account at http://www.formspring.me/Atariotter13 . Feel free to try and try to fluster me. :)
Welcome!
General | Posted 16 years agoHey all, thanks for the re-watches and shouts, it really means a lot to me. :)
I just wanted to say that I'm going to try to be a bit more active now that I'm actually working on producing things instead of being a watch troll or something. In fact, I even have a nice sized short story that I will be posting up here by Sunday at the latest, so stay tuned for that.
Other than that, it's just been routine for me up at school. Labs, homework, tests, and the whole lot.
Be safe, and see ya all soon! :)
I just wanted to say that I'm going to try to be a bit more active now that I'm actually working on producing things instead of being a watch troll or something. In fact, I even have a nice sized short story that I will be posting up here by Sunday at the latest, so stay tuned for that.
Other than that, it's just been routine for me up at school. Labs, homework, tests, and the whole lot.
Be safe, and see ya all soon! :)
