I'll be going to Furpocalypse ( https://furpocalypse.org/ ) in October. My wife and I will both be in suits, so we'd like someone to help us out, if possible! You should have experience leading near-blind people around. If conditions are right, we could even give you a place to stay during the con :)

Heck, if you're cute and flirt enough, maybe we can even help with the plane tickets. I think flirting solves just about any problem in the world.

My mother-in-law is visiting this week, so I am not taking orders until next weekend. After that point, I will only be taking a limited number of orders - probably five at a time, plus two brand new custom dildos.

And I've updated my prices to better reflect costs. Some have gone up, some have stayed the same. I'm posting a new price list now.

So, who won?  Obsydian came up with the best insult, I think, certainly one of the most personalized. Thanks to the rest of you, too! There will be more contests, don't worry. Obsydian, contact me for your free dilz.

Now for the bad news! In the last week, I've gotten over 20 orders totaling something like $1000, including three new custom dildos. This is great, and I'm glad I can please so many people, but holy fuck. I have two jobs, I don't need the money, and my spare time is limited. Short of hiring someone to work for me (which probably ain't working), I have one of three options (unless one of you comes up with something else.)

OPTION 1: Raise all my prices so I'll get fewer customers. This has the beneficial side effect of making me a profit (right now, I just about break even.)
OPTION 2: Limit the number of dongs I make per week and raffle off the commission slots, say four or five per week plus one new design every two weeks.
OPTION 3: Create an ever-growing queue of customers on a first-in, first-out basis. I REALLY don't want to do this because the backlog could be huge.

VOTE NOW! Which one do you want me to do? And if you have a different idea, let me know. Oh, and if one of those options would REALLY piss you off, let me know; instead of adding a vote for one option, I'll subtract a vote from another.

You want a free dick? You can have one of your choice if you win this contest.

Write the sickest possible burn you can dish out to me. It can be a single sentence, it can be a whole story. Just make it good: insulting, soul-crushing, all that. The better it suits me, the more likely you are to win.

Contest ends Saturday, July 26. Enter as many times as you want. And don't worry, I'm not gonna get depressed or upset. GO!

It is called Furpocalypse ( https://www.furpocalypse.com ) and it is the only convention I go to. Why is this? Maybe I'm lazy, maybe I'm shy, maybe I don't have any legs and can't go any farther than I can drag myself. The most likely answer is that I just don't have the free time to go to other cons.

I applied to run a panel on dongmaking, though it's doubtful they'd allow it. Not going to bother getting a booth in the Dealer's Dungeon.

Oh yes, that's right: it is a Halloween-themed con. That's why I have a Hellcat fursuit. Come to Furpocalypse or don't; it's all good. If you're there, I'll see ya. We can get dinner together or something.

As you might've seen, I can put holes in my toys now: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14005761/

That's cool! And I'd also like to try some other new things! Tentacles, silicone paws/feet/hands, bizarre torture-device-looking things...

I guess what I'm trying to say is, commission me, motherfuckers. I dare ya.

I am going to make a small dong! Half-scale, about 4" (10cm) long. I have three that I'm trying to decide between, and I figure you could all help me choose.

1) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12178835/
2) http://imgur.com/WTSZq8b & http://imgur.com/R7xUC0S
3) http://imgur.com/wrGs1iI

Vote below! One vote per person, no purchase necessary, void where blabla

Current score as of July 12:
13 votes for 1
10 votes for 2
1 vote for 3

FIRST ONE TO 20 WINS

I had an idea, and I think it might be a GOOD idea, or it might be a HORRIBLE idea.

https://furpocalypse.org/ <-- There is a con here, a mile or so from where I live. Every year, I invite someone up to hang out with us and attend the con (its predecessor was FurFright).

I must be out of my mind, because now I'm thinking, "what if I hold a contest, and the winner gets free admission/lodging/airfare?"

TELL ME IF I AM CRAZY

Just like it says in the title! Ask me anything (especially if it's dong- or art-related), and I promise I'll give you an answer, though it might not be the answer you're expecting!

This journal is open forever. I will answer questions until I die.

~So exciting~

Until now, I've only had a limited selection of pigments to work with, and anything not matching them (orange, purple, etc.) had to be mixed by eye. This was especially tricky as the yellow pigment is very weak, whereas red and blue are incredibly concentrated.

Is that all in the past? Nah, I'm a pessimist! But the new colors I have should supplement what I can currently do. And they're fluorescent! I ran 'em underneath my UV light, and they glow like nuts. But they're not phospohrescent, mind! I have blue and green phosphorescent pigment, that just costs extra. These fluorescent pigments are free-of-charge :)

WHAT DO WE HAVE:
Fluorescent pigments -
Red (fluoresces red-orange like a construction sign)
Yellow (fluoresces tennis ball green)
Green (fluoresces alien snot green)
Pink (fluoresces XXXTREME magenta)
Blue (fluoresces a deep sky blue)
Orange (fluoresces radioactive carrot orange)
Magenta (fluoresces arterial blood red)
Purple (fluoresces plum purple)
White (fluoresces sky blue)

Non-fluorescent pigments -
Black (more like a deep, matte gray)
Blood (venous blood)
Blue (royal blue)
Brown (looks like poo)
Flesh (great for realist dongs)
Green (hunter green)
Red (pinkish red)
White (like snow)
Yellow (like yellow snow)

Other pigments -
Titanium dioxide powder (white flecks)
Black mica (a very slick, deep black)
Silver mica (extra cost, very pearlescent white)
Gold mica (extra cost, very pearlescent sun-color)
Copper mica (extra cost, pearlescent red-gold)
Blue glow powder (extra cost, white in normal light, glows blue)
Green glow powder (extra cost, white in normal light, glows green)

The silicone itself is a milky white, like an equivalent volume of semen, with the soft silicone a bit more transparent. So keep that in mind when you design your cock! I can approximate any color you'd like, along with a bit of transparency control.

My booty call has flaked on me three times in a row now. Agh! I know there are worse problems to have, but when you plan your weekend around having something up your butt, and then you're left tight, it's hard not to be upset.

What should I do? Dude has a good cock and a great personality, but this is getting really frustrating.

I'm done with my commission queue, so I have a bit of time for housekeeping. I'd like to make a big ol' diagram with all the models and options I offer. I'd also like to do size references with my handy root beer bottle, but there are a lot of dongs to photograph and I don't even have 'em all on hand. So that's where I need your help!

Which models would you like to see posed next to a bottle? Isn't this the dumbest thing you've been asked today?
EDIT: This is models of dildo! Not your character or something. I don't draw anymore.

And would any of you like to submit a design for me to make? No time limit; I'll pick the first one that really catches my fancy.
EDIT: And don't whine if I don't pick it. Please.

Here is the dong that won the contest. I'm working on it now.

http://sta.sh/01x5mgjopwkn

And then I have two more that I'd like to start work on. They're both fantastic!

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=vo5vd3&s=8#.U6W2tbFTjm- by Sharkymutt
http://imgur.com/s0R3Fqw by Ruuki

So here's the issue: checking my Paypal and credit card statement, it's uh...
http://imgur.com/ASVWLbm vs. http://imgur.com/pr7lEav
It's pretty grim! I figure I've lost about $500 on making dongs so far, between the raffles, freebies, trades for art, flops, contests, and people not paying me.

Y'know, $500 isn't bad for a hobby. I'm not going to raise my prices or stop making dildos. But PLEASE do not beg for free dongs or a discount, or worse yet, complain about the prices. I like making 'em. I want to make people happy. I want to make more. But I don't think I'll make those last two designs unless I have people willing and ready to buy 'em. People normally pay me to make their designs, and when I do one for free, I take a big loss.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Here are the voting results:

1: ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼ 6
2: ☼ 1
3: ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼ 7
4: ☼☼☼☼☼ 5
5: ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼ 17
6: 0
7: ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼☼☼☼ 10
8: ☼☼☼☼☼ 5
9: ☼☼ 2
10: ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼ 12
11: ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼☼☼ 19
12: 0
13: ☼☼☼☼ 4
14: 0
15: ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼☼☼☼ ☼☼☼☼ 29

15 is the clear winner here. For those who forgot, here's how it looks: http://sta.sh/01x5mgjopwkn

For the rest of you, don't worry, there'll be another contest before long. But in the meantime, here's some news: I'm taking a week off. Those orders I still have to fill (Killveous, LunaSetsuna, Rus) will be done tomorrow. And then I'm not taking new commissions until next weekend, because my wife pointed out I haven't spent any time with her since I started making dongs, and, to be honest, I could really use a break. I hope you understand.

Let's try something new this time! Each person gets THREE VOTES. You can spread 'em out among your favorites, or use 'em all on one favorite dong. Here are your choices!

1) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6077559/
2) http://d.facdn.net/art/synjodeonecr.....hidna_male.png
3) http://desc.unchain.us/img/tei/trys.....gled_0031-xial
4) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12063766/ http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10234656/ http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10662436/
5) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12178835/
6) http://tinypic.com/r/vfbe3l/8
7) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13311460/
8) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13623297/
9) https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....4/basilisk.jpg
10) https://www.dropbox.com/s/hw830ozwr...../leviathan.jpg
11) http://picpaste.com/pics/fe92bbcfc0.....1401853575.jpg
12) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13632043/
13) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13167763/
14) http://tinypic.com/r/351ssxv/8 http://tinypic.com/r/e7e2o1/8 http://tinypic.com/r/ndo58h/8
15) http://sta.sh/01x5mgjopwkn

All you need to post is three numbers! GET TO IT - voting ends next Sunday!

The last contest was quite successful, giving us Ruuki's Xeramus. I am going to have two other commissions to make first (one of which is a smaller Xeramus), but when those are done, I want to do another fan favorite. So here's what you need to do!

Show me your dream dong (post it here,) and next Sunday, everyone will vote on which one they like best. Winning entry gets made, and the creator gets a free one!

~Tell thine friends~

Here are the entries from the last contest, for reference. Yes, you have to re-enter them if you want 'em in this contest:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/12642215/
http://d.facdn.net/art/synjodeonecr.....hidna_male.png
https://inkbunny.net/files/screen/5.....flat_color.jpg
https://inkbunny.net/files/full/566.....on_the_job.png
https://www.dropbox.com/s/6q9u1wdxlfq3s27/Dick!2.png
https://www.dropbox.com/s/km22jmxlilbynm9/Dick!.png
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12178835/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13262915/
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....4/basilisk.jpg
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12814256/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13311460/

Have you bought a dong from me? Perhaps you got one for free? I would like to know what you thought of it! Remember that this is a hobby for me, not a business - I'm not going to sue someone who didn't enjoy their dilz. It's more of an opportunity for me to see what I can improve, and for prospective customers to see what they'll be getting.

You can rate 'em with stars, or thumbs up, out of ten, five, thirteen, whatever... just post below, and if possible, rate the following aspects:

Model: Which one did you get? Did I send you the right one? (I sure fucking hope so!)
Size: Was it big enough for you? Too big? Were the dimensions I posted accurate?
Hardness: What hardness did you get? Was it what you expected? How would you describe it to someone who doesn't have it in hand?
Color: Is it what you asked for? Is the saturation/transparency ok? Did you get a fade/sparkles/glowcock?
Mold quality: Is there a seam? Does it get in the way of play? Are there bumps or tears? Rough patches?
Silicone quality: Are there visible bubbles in the silicone? How big are they? Has it held up to use? Has there been any discoloration or damage?
Price: Do you feel like you paid a fair amount for it? After receiving the product, did you think, "I can't believe I spent thirty bucks on this shit"?
Promptness: How long did it take to make? If you ordered a custom commission, did I make progress at a good pace?
Shipping: Were shipping costs reasonable? Was the dong packaged well? How long did it take to get to you?
Average: Did I fuck something up? Was I rude? Is there something I could do better?

Thanks in advance for your input, and don't be afraid to be harsh! I'll respond to your comments, too, if you like.

---

And one more note! The latest cock raffle ends tomorrow, so go ahead and put your name in the hat if you haven't already: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13537628/

People say, "wow, that fish dude, he's pretty popular [note: totally not true]. I bet he has tons of friends." Well! By some measures, I do, but it's never enough. Hell, do you know how long it's been since I joined a cuddlepile? Way too long.

If you like what I do, and you want to get to know me better, chat me up. I am polite and hygienic, and I have a brilliant smile! Plus, I'll be revising my will soon, and I'll probably leave you something awesome.

I've got AIM, Yahoo, MSN, Jabber (GTalk), IRC, Skype, Steam, and (sporadically) F-Chat, and I prefer them in roughly that order. However, my accounts are under my real name, so I'm a bit shy in giving them out. Notes are a good way to start friendships.

Except they're free. Bet you didn't see THAT coming!

On the off-chance anyone lives nearby (New England) or is visiting the area, let me know. We can hang out sometime. Meeting up once-a-year at FurFright just isn't enough social interaction for a social caterpillar like me. Let's be friends~

I have basically seen my number of watches double since I started making dongs. Since things have changed so much, and I know so few of you, why not briefly introduce yourselves? Say what you're into, what you'd like to see, and... for future raffles and auctions, what I should make for you guys! I often pour too much silicone and have some left over to pour an extra dong or two, so there's nothing wrong with requesting.

Oh, and thank you! I really appreciate it :)

So let's see who won!

1: Punk
2: zabb65
3: Synjo
4: Secret
5: Vixyn
6: Obsydian
7: Kalleo
8: Arwa
9: DSJester
10: Shanie

And using random.org to return a random number from 1 to 10, the result is...

1! Punk, you get a free dong. Shoot me a note or an IM with your shipping info. Everyone else, don't despair - there will be more raffles.

And as for Ruuki's cock, it's done, mold is made, so I'll be posting the first pictures later on. Thanks to everybody for participating!

I'm sure you can already guess who won, but here are the results anyway:


1) https://www.furaffinity.net/view/12642215/
☼☼☼ 3 votes

2) http://d.facdn.net/art/synjodeonecr.....hidna_male.png
☼ 1 vote

3) https://inkbunny.net/files/screen/5.....flat_color.jpg
0 votes

4) https://inkbunny.net/files/full/566.....on_the_job.png
0 votes

5) https://www.dropbox.com/s/6q9u1wdxlfq3s27/Dick!2.png
☼ 1 vote

6) https://www.dropbox.com/s/km22jmxlilbynm9/Dick!.png
☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼ 11 votes

7) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12178835/
☼☼☼☼ 4 votes

8) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13262915/
☼ 1 vote

9) https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....4/basilisk.jpg
☼☼☼☼ 4 votes

10) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12814256/
☼ 1 vote

11) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13311460/
☼☼☼☼ 4 votes


Looks like Ruuki's cock was a lock for first, with Sandnite, Obsydian, and DSJesterXII tied for second. Ruu will be getting a free copy of her cock.


And now the raffle! I really loved how that sparklecat up for auction came out, so I made a similar one with a dripping wax effect. Check it out: http://imgur.com/8pKKZnY
Want it? Just say ME below to enter. You'll still have to pay shipping.

And if you DON'T want it, tell me which of my dongs you'd like to see raffled off :)

Your choices are:

1) https://www.furaffinity.net/view/12642215/

2) http://d.facdn.net/art/synjodeonecr.....hidna_male.png

3) https://inkbunny.net///files/screen.....flat_color.jpg (link doesn't work for me)

4) https://inkbunny.net///files/full/5.....on_the_job.png (link doesn't work for me)

5) https://www.dropbox.com/s/6q9u1wdxlfq3s27/Dick!2.png

6) https://www.dropbox.com/s/km22jmxlilbynm9/Dick!.png

7) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12178835/

8) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13262915/

9) https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....4/basilisk.jpg

10) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12814256/

11) http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13311460/

Vote below with a number (bolded, please). One vote per person. Please don't cheat. And if yours doesn't get picked, no worries - there will be more contests!

When I finish my current commissions, I'm going to have a free slot - and it's up to you to decide what I'll be making! Show me your dream dong (post it here,) and next Sunday, everyone will vote on which one they like best. Winning entry gets made, and the creator gets a free one!

~Tell thine friends~

While it might be cool to be the only person to submit a design and win by default, that also means it'll be a one-time thing. The more people participate, the more often I'll have these contests.

What new capabilities have I come up with?

1) Balls. I can make you a dong with balls.
2) Glow-in-the-dark-dingus. But this is expensive, you see.
3) Suction cup base. Did it for one of my personal dicks, and it came out alright. Consider it still in beta.

Balls get included in the price of the cock, because they take more clay and silicone to make.
Glow-in-the-dark, we'll see, but currently it's looking like it'll be $10-20 per dildo.
Suction cup base is free, because it doesn't cost me anything.