Been a long time since I've posted on here. Been busy getting my life back together. Been clean of addiction for over a year. Got a decent job going. Got money in the bank and a roof over my head. Can't ask for much more, though I'm lonely sometimes. Really proud of myself for having the strength to persevere and solve my problems on my terms. I have only hope for the future.

And I'll have enough saved to move into an apt. For right now its the street, but I'm keeping my job, which pays surprisingly well for what it is. This is the hardest part of coming up out of the street. There are a million stupid programs and shelters and govt scams, but in the end it is your hard work and diligence that will enable you to succeed. This is gonna be a different life for me, my second chance at whatever I was driving at in the first place. After 4 years in the street, it'll be a bigger shock than many. Hope this works...

Now I can actually use the internet NOT AT THE FUCKING LIBRARY!!!

If you want my number just ask or whatever. Still have a job and shit, saving my money and enjoying a nice warm bed. For now...

hands down 2nd best city in america. the weed is cheap, the air is thin, and only the dairy products are expensive. though i will say that the country i hitched through was utterly incredible to behold. dont believe what people tell you about the "flyover states". each one of them is a well kept secret, and they are filled with real, actual, decent people who are ready to be part of any random adventure. except for washington. fuck that place, fuck seattle for stealing my smartphone and cracking my laptop, and being utterly boring despite the "legal" marijuana scene. what a joke. idaho had better fucking pot, AND from the rezzie. even montana had better game. and both of those states had free hot springs for a dirty ass nigga to bathe in. butt natural in the river is the only way to go. and i quit smoking cigarettes, AGAIN! this summer is gonna be goddamn righteous. feel free to ask any questions about traveling, hitching, where i might be going next, or anything at all. i might visit yo ass or some shit, you might have a good time. also a heads up, if you are hitting the shpongle at red rocks up, ill be there. i might spin your cookies while im at it.

Enough said. My road trip is finally underway and ive been making record time. Me and the crew went from SF to almost Eugene in about 30 hours. Considering we dont have a car or a steady ride were kicking ass. See you in Seattle for 420! Also, give me all your money.

that if you rip apart several fucked off computers from the trash you can cobble together a working one?

neither did I

still alive and all that shit, nothing much new except im gonna go hitchhike across this awful land of ours for absolutely no reason at all. leave me a note here if you want a visit from a person who owns the largest pairs of overalls you've ever seen

cunts

vengeance will be mine, and that right soon

fucking glorious

almost went to the pokey, but a well lit cigarette averted my fate

got food poisoning from some turkey dinner shit that resulted in violent 4am projectile vomiting

didnt get that big booty ho i asked for

AND i got stood up to go see the hobbit in 3d at the imax

fuck you santa claus, you better make new years a lot better

other general shit about whats been happening lately:

my alternator took a shit, so i have to push the van around every street cleaning day at 6am in the morning

i am fairly sure i have diabeetus, and possibly pneumonia

my left hand shakes uncontrollably sometimes for no apparent reason, and my back is in constant throbbing pain

oh and life is shit

2014 here we come!

sans shrubberies :c

the world can be very strange sometimes

in other news, nothing much changes, still fucking about not looking for a job or anything, etc etc

gotta plan something interesting soon, or ill end up horribly employed

demand a shrubbery

brb

got an appointment at the VA to get a primary care doctor next week. gonna get hooked up with some peelz for my heart. beta blockers for happy fun normal heart beat times. got my case reactivated at the VA assistance place, maybe theyll have something in the way of jobs. managed to hold onto my money pretty well so far, got the car parked in a really nice spot that i only have to move twice a month. and the car held together after almost 48 hours of continuous motion without exploding. my luck must be really kicking in right about now. all i have left to do is get my food stamps activted. manageable shit in no time flat!

gettin setup real nice

more in a bit

thats right kids

all facets of my plan finally converged. the vehicle is fixed. the weather is fantastic. my current environment is unbearable and has already sent me into a few panic attacks. my clothes are clean, my bankroll is copious, and my patience has finally worn thin. its time for me to get the fuck out of here. 2600 miles to freedom, or at least, more freedom than i have in this redneck shithole. wish me luck, all 3 of the people who actually care to read my wacky journals. or dont. see you on the other side either way!

CAR PARTS NIGGER!

my obscure piece of plastic arrived today. it is my key to FREEDOM! dropping it off at the mechanic tomorrow afternoon after work. it should be done by wednesday afternoon. then, it aint nothin but time. 2 days time that is. i swear this will be the last journal i will make about stupid car parts and vehicles in general. believe me, im tired of them too.

whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

so i ordered some parts for my vehicle, in order to make it sound and safe for cross country travel. i recieved one today, and the news that my OTHER PART HAS BEEN EXPLODED IN A UPS PLACE CRASH. oh goody! more waiting. at least i ordered another one, but goddamn man. all im trying to do is leave this place, and shit just keeps getting in my way. is there some sort of secret society dedicated to cockblocking my every task? it feels that way sometimes. one more week of fiberglass, drudgery, and dead relationships. send me your good karma, i need a little boost.

timer reset

august 17th, 7am

unless the world ends or my own life is cut tragically(or not so) short

adventure time, bring your friends

prepare for the RAMBLINGS OF A MADMAN

vehicle situation resolved

monetary situation still pending, but i shall be forceful with this one

blast off imminent?

golden form potentiated?

all i need is a quote from esurance

two weeks motherfucker. two weeks.

i am fairly sure the sheer anxiety of it all is keeping me awake, but no matter, i can sleep another time.

also i hate being right about things i predicted in the past. when it is proper to be paranoid about being right?

when he wandered in the desert for 40 days, fasting and going utterly mad(what is it with the jews and the number 40? moses was in teh desert for 40 years, noah was on his ark for 40 days, wtf is that about?)

40 days

till my next adventure

until then, i, like jesus, am deprived of all things that comfort me. though ill bet jesus didnt itch like a motherfucker every day because he worked in a fiberglass factory.

i am slowly becoming the zen master

be afraid

strange happenings lately

i lose my job, only to get another one the same day. how lucky is that? but what is given can be taken away. im being forced to use my savings to buy a new car, as the old one turned into an inert piece of metal with no function. so we are back to square one, but time marches on. ive also been feeling odd lately. my mood swings are less extreme, but i suppose i find that sort of boring. and my head hurts all the time lately. there is not enough aspirin :c. all in all, things are most boring and bland. i figure i have 3 more months of this at most. tick tock goes the hands of the clock. each day draws out longer than the last.

man depression is a real bitch. i dont even know what to feel anymore, or even if i do feel anything. lately everything has just been a void, just going through the motions. i found a job, great. now i just do the same thing for 8 hours over and over. i have a roof over my head, but so what? everything is just a trackless, endless, joyless bland lump. i barely speak to anyone for days on end. there is no light. is this what ive brought my entire life to bear upon? everything ive done has led to this? all my effort culminates into nothing. what the fuck. i mean, ive got plans, but its almost like they are intangible. i can barely care about them while the present is just this side of unbearable. id say its pain, but at least pain is something you can feel. when i reach for something, there is nothing. i cant even cry. all i can do is sit and be empty. and it feels more and more like there never was anything. and i think its my fault, in the end. what to do.