tldr: I think the rest of the prompts are really bad for this year, so I'm good on finishing this Inktober.

Honestly, I'm really proud of all the pictures I managed to finish this time. But there are three major factors, two of which I haven't really talked about on here, that have kinda compounded into this result.

Easiest thing to get out first, the rest of the prompts aren't really that good in my opinion. Like, what am I supposed to do with "Onion" I just, bleh, I dunno. I really enjoy doing Inktober when there's a lot to work with, multiple definitions or meanings of the prompts, and a few of the ones this year definitely did. But yeah, I've gotten what I wanted to out of this one.
-- Side note, I *will* be doing 17 and 18 at the very least. 17 because I already have a sketch done, and 18 because I do have a good idea for it.

The second thing is, I had a conversation with my roommates near the end of last month, and I've been told it's become necessary for me to get a job. That is where a majority of my stress has come from honestly, and despite trying my best and putting in a ton of applications already, I've not only heard nothing, but I'm also just really doubtful that I'll get anything anyway. But life goes on.

The final thing, and also the reason there's been a gap in uploads and new art in general the past few months, I have been diagnosed with D.I.D. I don't really feel like going into great detail about it, but it's been quite an experience, to say the least. Most of my alters are not artists, so when they're out, they're doing their own thing. Kyeley in particular who is the little one. All Kyeley wants to do is to play Pokemon on the Switch and spend time with her caregiver [who is also a new relationship partner of mine.]

But yeah, I guess I just wanted to get a few things out there and update all of my watchers who've been waiting for new art and such.

I am sorry if the news of me cancelling the rest of Inktober upsets any of you, but hey, on the bright side, now I can do whatever the heck I want :)

To be right up front, I would just love the new Fantasy Life. Lemme know if you'd like anything :)

Finally, after a load of stress and a huge variety of things going on, I'm finally returning to a sense of normalcy. Can finally work on art things. Expect stuff from me soon.

I'm in a really rough spot financially at the moment. I am out of my medicine and I have a phone bill due. If anybody is able to help me, I will sketch or digitally draw something for you. Anything will help right now.

I very much apologize for the sudden disappearance. Last year was a really good year for me, for most of it anyway, but still pretty stressful. I was finally working and most, if not all of my free time, I just wanted to relax, watch YouTube or do something easy like video games. But after all that, I'm back. And I have an announcement.

Tomorrow, the 23rd, I'll be trying something new. Something I actually haven't done before. So stay tuned for it :)

So I have made an investment. A brand new drawing tablet. This one has a screen :o
The Huion Kamvas 12, for anyone curious. I've just finished one commission for someone I know and it is so so nice. It was definitely expensive, but it was very worth it.

So look forward to new art from me soon :)

Well, pretty crazy start to the year. I intended to get a handful of things done, and I got two of those things done, being I switched to full time at work to make more money and bought my ticket for an anime convention. And then this past week, big snowstorm happened, so I was filled with stress about how I was going to get food, and just as I was starting to get ready to get some stuff done, I got super sick, and had absolutely no energy, and I'm only just *now* getting over it.

For now, I need the next day or two, depending on how long this sickness sticks around, to just relax and play games for now. I'll get back to drawing when I can.

Sorry for such a big delay.

Been awhile. Guess I did end up taking a big break from drawing right after Inktober. But that's fine. I have a couple commissions to get done, and I'll get around to them soon, but for now, just trying to get out of December. This hasn't been a good month, not only because of recent trauma from the previous Christmas, but also, a tornado passed through and really fucked up a couple things.

I'm alright, it didn't hit us specifically, just fairly nearby, knocked out our power for the night, but I just haven't felt good in general for the other reason. You can expect to see something new from me soon, probably the first or second of January.

Until then, I hope all of you are okay out there :)

Yep. I'm gonna be doing it. That's pretty much it.

Side tangent, I got a job recently. I had my second day today, and it's going very well. Today was really stressful, but I'm incredibly proud of how I handled it.

My work days are Monday, Friday and Saturday, so I won't be uploading anything on those days so I can just focus on work and taking the afternoons to relax. I may sketch something for that day, but yeah.

Thanks :)

Just a quick one. I finally managed to get a job. I am incredibly happy, excited, and ready to finally do more than just sit around. I have to wait maybe a week, possibly two for some confirmation stuff to get me in the system or what have you, so I'm gonna draw something before that and upload it.

That's about it :)

Quite a bit happened this month. I'm going to keep things brief, need to be alone with my thoughts for a bit.

My birthday was yesterday. I didn't have a huge party or anything, I'm gonna do that every 5 years now. Next year for my 30th birthday, the 35th, 40th, etc.
One of my friends came over, I got *THE BOI* Munch from Tribal Hunter. The one plushie I have always wanted. We went to Subway, watched some videos and the Guillermo Del Toro Pinocchio. Great movie, very smooth stop motion.

As for today, I confirmed everything I had been thinking about the person I was with was correct and they were highly manipulative. I'd been thinking that for around a year, so don't worry. I'm okay. After everything with my "mother" I've become hyper aware of emotional manipulation. I have deleted the one picture I uploaded of them and will not be interacting with them further, especially since they blocked me instead of having an adult conversation about this.

Anyhow. That's all for now. I'm fixing to move soon, so art is a bit on hold. I've gotten to try out a Steam Deck :o It's awesome, definitely worth the money. The download speeds are *insane*, they get up to like 400+ mb/s.

But, I hope everyone has a great day, week, month, life all that :)

Well, more things have been happening recently. Pride was last month, so prepping for that distracted me a lot. I took another break from drawing cause of my mood. Just wanted to play some games. I've slowly been drawing stuff here and there, drawing a couple things for my girlfriend. You can expect some stuff for me soon.

That being said, I am going to be moving as well sometime this month. Date isn't confirmed yet, so I can't say when exactly yet, so that'll be another minor delay in my art. The new place sounds preferable to this one. I've loved being here, and it's given me time to really figure things out about myself and I've managed to completely overcome my anxiety and depression. One of my roommates is just moving out, and with me not having a job right now, I may not be able to stay here. Getting a job here has proved highly unlikely because of how far everything is. The closest place I had a remote chance of working is a 45-50 minute walk [Don't have a car], and it's been getting up to 85-90 degrees outside, so I kinda just chilled and waited to see what would happen. Thankfully at this new place, there's a few places more 20 to 30 minutes away, so a job is more likely.

But for now. Just gonna focus on some art stuff, crazy fetish stuff. Thanks for all your patience and support. As usual, here's my links:

[Apparently Discord has locked permanent invites behind requiring a community. If the link provided doesn't work, feel free to DM me.]

https://discord.gg/J397U8Ha4

Well. I've been silent here for quite awhile. I realized Tears of the Kingdom was releasing shortly after I said I'd get back to drawing, and I have been absolutely obsessed with it.

Super quick review:
I love it. I think it did everything super well, it fixed every one of my issues from Breath of the Wild, and really only had one thing that I didn't really like all that much. I won't spoil anything but it's certain powers you get from the main story. Using those powers is...Obnoxious, and one of them is basically useless except for a single circumstance. But regardless, I highly recommend. Easy 10/10. Breath of the Wild feels like a tech demo in comparison and I personally feel Tears of the Kingdom is worth 70 dollars.

Anyway. I have now done everything I wanted to do in Tears of the Kingdom. For now. I intend to go back and do a handful of other things eventually. But I wanna let my roommates play it, and I really wanna get back to drawing and my other projects. I also have a commission I need to work on!

Thanks for the patience, and I hope everyone's excited for more stuff from me soon :)

These past two weeks have been a bit crazy for me. In a good way though.

Firstly, the convention was amazing. I loved every bit of it. Best convention I've ever been to.

Second, I've kinda just been relaxing and hanging out with friends for the time being. I got to talk to someone named Marin Miller during the convention and they are a super cool individual. I asked them "Do you have any advice for getting over a feeling of anxiety while voice acting like 'Oh, I'm gonna sound stupid?'" and I don't remember their exact wording. But it was something like "Well, you just kinda have to admit that you will sound stupid. But if you're doing a comedy or funny character, making people laugh or entertaining people is the goal. So sounding stupid shouldn't be a bad thing." and that just really meant a lot to me.

Lastly, I have one last thing I want to do. I'm starting to feel that mood of wanting to draw again. [Half of my delay was the Metroid Prime Trilogy. Wanted to beat that.] This last thing I wanna do is really important to me. Short version is, I wrote a letter addressed to my mother, and I will be giving it to her. What happens from there is a mystery.

But anyhow. I will draw something this Tuesday and upload it. Expect it then :)

So I didn't draw anything this week because I was planning and packing for a little vacation. I'll be headed to my local anime and gaming convention and meeting some super cool people :)

I won't be posting any pictures or anything of it here, but I'll probably be talking about it a bunch in my server as things happen, so you're welcome to join and check it out.

I'll get back to art as soon as I can. I may not draw anything next week either, but I do intend to maybe sketch a couple of random things when I have some free time.

So basically, even though my PC works just fine now, my friend allowed me to keep the GPU he sent me. As it turns out, I also needed to swap the PSU [luckily my roommate had one that is better than my old one and he let me have it.] and did some major PC surgery you could say. But, I got it all taken care of, the new stuff is in there, bundled up, and we're all good.

I'm really excited about it, Final Fantasy 15 actually works quite well now, so I'll finally get to play through that all the way, and a bunch of other games load really quick now it seems.

As for art stuff, tomorrow is a drawing day. So expect a little something from me. I'll think on it a bit tonight and figure out what to do tomorrow.

So, I really have no idea what the issue with my PC was, but it is fixed. I am super proud of myself because I managed to get it working again. I had a lot of help from some friends for troubleshooting, so I'm not trying to take all the credit, but I'm back :D I got it working again and I am super proud of myself for that.

I don't really know what the big problem was and why my GPU just stopped working properly for the time it did, but hey. I will take it.

With that being said, today is my normal drawing days, so I'm gonna get a little something drawn and upload!

And, in hindsight, absolutely, every single time I shut my computer down, it's getting unplugged. I'm not risking this issue again.

I am gonna just relax, play a game or two to calm my nerves and just chill after the fucking week this has been. On that note, let me just list all of the shit that piled up this week.

- My friend woke me up last Tuesday to tell me he found out his mother is gone [100%, not lost, like gone gone]
- Microsoft charged me for Gamepass before they said they would, it said the 10th, and they charged me on the 3rd
- I thought I wouldn't be able to get a refund which would cause major problems, so I broke a corner of the table by hitting it because I was so frustrated
- They made it excruciatingly difficult to get the refund [Managed to thankfully]
- My PC crapped out for awhile and I couldn't figure out what was wrong
- Needed to go to the funeral for my friend to support him
- And you all probably saw my previous journals of thinking I wouldn't be able to fix my PC

ALL THIS in a matter of like 4 days.

But hey. We're all good. Everything's worked out. I'm back to relative normality.

Well. A friend of mine was nice enough to send me a new GPU. Unfortunately, it wont be here until August. Which, on the bright side, is my birthday month. But yeah, I cant really do much until then. It's possible that it could arrive earlier, but, at the moment, it's being shipped from Canada, so that's what I know.

I apologize for not posting any art and not being able to for so long. I do post random sketches on my Discord, which you are more than welcome to come to and hang out. Thank you for your patience, and I will try and get back to posting when I can.

Yeah, pretty sure my only option is to get a whole new GPU, which I can't do. Major catch 22 situation. I'd need to do commissions to make money to fix my pc, but I cant fix my pc without commissions. So. I dont know what to do anymore.

My computer has major issues. I keep booting to a black screen. I spent two hours or so with a friend trying to fix it and nothing worked. This means an indefinite hiatus on my art. I dont know what else to do :T

So, I haven't posted anything for a little while. I'm on another of my breaks. And I have some real life plans distracting me. That's the TLDR. More info below.

Basically, the main thing was, I really really wanted to play Hi-Fi Rush, and I realized it was on Gamepass on PC, and I could get a whole month of Gamepass for just a dollar. I had a dollar, so I did. And I saw a whole bunch of other games that I really wanted to play about as much as Hi-Fi, like Doom Eternal, Powerwash Simulator, Slime Rancher 2, Potioncraft, Ori and the Will of the Wisps, etc. So I've decided to just take a break on art and just play some games this month.

Second big thing, I may be getting a job soon. I don't know a lot about it, but it'll be an on call position, so my hours and days will be a bit sporadic, which is okay with me to get back into getting used to a job. My friend didn't want to take me there this week because their least favorite person is there, and the main reason they want me to try being on call for them is mostly them, and I can help more around the apartment.

So, that's really the main things. If I do end up getting this job, I won't have quite as much time to play games and stuff, so I wanted to just take a little vacation this month.

Also, expect some sketches of 808 :)

Thanks

I took an at home test yesterday, and it came back negative for covid. As of right now, I am feeling a great deal better than I was yesterday. It doesn't exhaust me just to sit up anymore. Still have a slight cough and there's a discomfort from a lingering headache, and my nose is still real gross, but hey. Couple more days and I should be back to relative normality.

Short version: My usual schedule has been thrown off. Tuesdays are usually my drawing day, and yesterday, I just felt [And currently feel] absolutely awful.



So to go into a bit more detail, I'm pretty sure I got the chills for the first time in my life. I was completely under my blanket, which is normally way too much for me, I usually keep part of my upper body or feet out from under it, but despite that, it felt like I wasn't even under it at all. My roommate had said the one time they got it was because of covid. So that's *maybe* what I have. I haven't taken a test for it or anything, but yeah.

Generally, I don't get sick very often. I feel like it's a spectrum. The more often you get sick, the less time it lasts, and the less often you get sick, the longer it is, and the worse it feels when you finally do get sick. But I dunno. I think this is the first time in 2 or 3 years that I've gotten sick like this. I can't really remember when the last time was.

But, I already feel exhausted just getting up to go to my computer to type out this message, but I wanted to update everyone considering my last journal.

I'll upload a new thing as soon as I can :)


I did recently post a couple of sketches in my server, and here's my liberapay as usual.
https://discord.gg/MecQhPkmrC

https://en.liberapay.com/B-3NN1/

So this past month or so has been a little crazy for me. Bit stressful, bit depressing. And I just kinda took some time to focus on myself. Had some struggles with my PC [It seems to be fine now? But the issue is intermittent so sometimes it's perfectly fine, other times it's intolerable.]

Biggest change, I got a little board. Just a dry erase board that I've put on the wall next to my computer, and I put all the days of the week and things I want to get done every week, and stuff I intend to do every day under that. Tuesdays are my drawing day. I've been sketching on paper in my notebook occasionally, but I intend to get at least one big thing drawn digitally every week.

I also have a big 20 panel commission that I'm working on. At the moment, all panels are sketched, and 4 of them have been lined digitally, so I'd say I'm about 65 to 70 percent done with it. This commission is partly why my uploads have been so slow. I'm just afraid of getting burned out and taking even longer to finish it. So apologies all around.

I'll also try to upload at least one thing a week as well. Just have to add that to my board :P

Thanks again for all your support and patience. And as usual, here's a link to my Discord and my Liberapay if you'd like to support me financially. If you can't, please don't worry about me. Definitely worry about yourself and your own needs. I'll be a-okay :)

https://discord.gg/MecQhPkmrC

https://en.liberapay.com/B-3NN1/

It's been really weird. I don't really know how to explain it. I apologize to everyone for the sudden disappearance again. Just, yeah. I don't have much to say. Maybe it was my depression fucking with me again. Had a really hard time doing much of anything noteworthy recently. I'm thankful to be in a place with roommates that care about me enough to just let me have these off periods and just letting myself feel these negative emotions to get them out.

But I have a plan. One of these days I'm going to have one of my "Quiet days" as I call them, which won't really affect anything digitally. It's just a day I choose to not say anything out loud basically. Those days help me focus on things and I intend to get a bunch of drawing that day.

I'm gonna enjoy my weekend with my roommates, and play some games with them, and since they all work during the week, it'll be one of those days. I got D&D on Sunday actually, so that'll be fun.

Thanks for reading my rambles. Expect some uploads soon :)

As usual. My Discord and Liberapay:

https://discord.gg/MecQhPkmrC

https://en.liberapay.com/B-3NN1/