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uh oh spaghetti-o + moving accounts
General | Posted 10 years agohey everyone
so uh lately i've been feeling not so pretty ok w/ myself and my artistic abilities
so while watching some speedpaints, I finally decided that I want to start over and get a fresh start,,
so, i'm gonna unwatch a lot of people, and put all my stuff in storage, so if you want to save something for example a commision/ art trade, request etc. or just a piece of art that you liked
i'm gonna give you guys,,,,20 minutes, maybe 15 idk
but ye
oh and pls if I unwatch you please don't take offense to it
I just want to get a fresh start.
so as soon as I submit this journal the 20 min counter will start
during that time I will start to unwatch people
(again pls don't take offense if I unwatch you,,,I just really wanna start over )
oh and if you're a friend don't worry I won't unwatch you <3
also I finally decided that after a damn century that i'm gonna move accounts
I haven't made it yet but in the 15-20 mins i'll be in the process of making it
so if you wanna watch me there, go ahead, i'll post a link to it when i'm done
so yeah that's all
take care <3woah holy butt
General | Posted 10 years agohey guys guess what
I finally got my tablet today, it's a huion
its pretty heckin cool
I was psyched to use it but I couldn't
mainly b/c for some reason they didn't mail
my tablet with the tablet pen charger
and I'm like really?
so I guess I'll still use a mouse for a while
but yeah that's pretty much itlittle announcement
General | Posted 10 years agohello every peoples
um I kinda made a decision and said decision is not to really draw anything until I get a tablet
so yeah, I might draw something but not a lot, i'm just tired or drawing w/ a mouse.
I don't think I have any potential but I don't feel like i'm not working up to its fullness.
anyway, would anyone want to recommend some tablets to me?
i've already had this one https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.....9VGPII-1-l.jpg
i'm not sure if I want the same one so any recommendation would be fine.growing fears
General | Posted 10 years ago(copy and pasted from dA)
uhh hey everyone, I know most of you won't care about this and probably delete this from your messages, and I wouldn't blame you but I just wanted to get this off of my chest, earlier today while going through my messages a deviant artist posted a journal about their history w/ jealousy. I too suffer from jealousy, and I'm sure many of you know that by now, there are so many people I'm jealous of, whether it's their art style, experience and I guess popularity even though I don't really care about being popular, I wish I wasn't like this but it seems like a very natural feeling, but it still makes me feel bad, looking at my art and looking at another person's art makes me question whether or not I'm actually good enough or talented enough to be here, but that's not the only thing I'm jealous about, I'm jealous about where I am with my friends, sometimes I feel like my friends are closer to each other than they are with me and that probably is true, now I feel bad about that, it makes me feel like I'm being selfish, but there have been countless times where my best friend is taken away from me by another person and I'm just left back wondering if I did something to annoy them or whatever else..but other than that, that's it for the jealousy category.
now onto the actual reason for this journal, as some of you may have noticed, I haven't posted anything in a while reason being is because like before I don't think my art is good enough to be here, and I'm not talented enough, I don't get many comments but I'm thankful for the comments I do get, but when I go to someone who actually is more talented their comments can go on for pages and pages, and it really makes me sad that I have to realize that people actually just don't care about what I do. That's why I always disabled my comments and I may go back to doing that, I see as a way of helping people, and I lie helping people so ya'know win win right?
but the other reason is because recently a lot of people have wanted to commission me, it feels like people on here only talk to me for that reason and not anything else but that is for a different day. Anyway back to what I was saying, I've recently started to get this fear that I will disappoint someone with my art, I recently had to turn down a commission b/c of that very reason and it made me feel bad....so many people request and commission me for so many things ignorant to the fact of what it does to me, it truly scares me and the last thing I want to is disappoint someone...so it'll be a while until I post things again, just in case someone was curios or cared
but anyway that is all
uhh hey everyone, I know most of you won't care about this and probably delete this from your messages, and I wouldn't blame you but I just wanted to get this off of my chest, earlier today while going through my messages a deviant artist posted a journal about their history w/ jealousy. I too suffer from jealousy, and I'm sure many of you know that by now, there are so many people I'm jealous of, whether it's their art style, experience and I guess popularity even though I don't really care about being popular, I wish I wasn't like this but it seems like a very natural feeling, but it still makes me feel bad, looking at my art and looking at another person's art makes me question whether or not I'm actually good enough or talented enough to be here, but that's not the only thing I'm jealous about, I'm jealous about where I am with my friends, sometimes I feel like my friends are closer to each other than they are with me and that probably is true, now I feel bad about that, it makes me feel like I'm being selfish, but there have been countless times where my best friend is taken away from me by another person and I'm just left back wondering if I did something to annoy them or whatever else..but other than that, that's it for the jealousy category.
now onto the actual reason for this journal, as some of you may have noticed, I haven't posted anything in a while reason being is because like before I don't think my art is good enough to be here, and I'm not talented enough, I don't get many comments but I'm thankful for the comments I do get, but when I go to someone who actually is more talented their comments can go on for pages and pages, and it really makes me sad that I have to realize that people actually just don't care about what I do. That's why I always disabled my comments and I may go back to doing that, I see as a way of helping people, and I lie helping people so ya'know win win right?
but the other reason is because recently a lot of people have wanted to commission me, it feels like people on here only talk to me for that reason and not anything else but that is for a different day. Anyway back to what I was saying, I've recently started to get this fear that I will disappoint someone with my art, I recently had to turn down a commission b/c of that very reason and it made me feel bad....so many people request and commission me for so many things ignorant to the fact of what it does to me, it truly scares me and the last thing I want to is disappoint someone...so it'll be a while until I post things again, just in case someone was curios or cared
but anyway that is all
vent
General | Posted 10 years agowas gonna do a picture but i'm really art blocked and I don't have enough of a drive to art anymore
alright so basically like I said before I don't have much of the drive to make art anymore, I hate everything about my art, how inconsistent it is how ugly it is and everything in between.
I hate that the fact no matter how much I draw it always looks like i'm drawing in some other artists' style , I hate the fact that when I look at my art I sometimes like what I see but when I check my messages and I see what the people I watch/ follow have done I get angry at myself and then I read the comments and see people saying things like oh this is gorgeous, gosh you're so talented, I wish I could draw like you or you're so good, and I can't get mad at the artist b/c they actually have talent its no wonder why some people just breeze past my art and look at the people's art who actually belong here, and I don't really feel like I belong here, I don't feel like i'm good enough to be on here. But that's just how life is right? You either have something or you don't and a lot of people on here do.
I always think that after this little mood of mine passes then i'll doodle but lo and behold its in some other artists' style, I think to myself alright maybe if I do what they do maybe i'll get better and find my own style but surprise surprise it never works, and then I have to come to the realization that i'm a talentless, worthless copy-cat
it baffles me at the number of watchers I have and my art isn't even that good, and this isn't a recent feeling i've been thinking about this for a fucking while, and it really bums me out...at this point ladies and gents i'm really stuck I want to quit b/c it seems that my drive will never come back so like..yeah, maybe i'll take a hiatus, who knows
i'm sorry this seems like the only type of journals I post but, my life is pretty boring and nothing really fun happens that I would share
last week
General | Posted 10 years agohey guys just wanted to update you all and this time it isn't about how I hate my art or the sadness that always tends to creep up on me yay !!!11
anywhore, my last week of school is next week, my school year ends on June 12th
and i'm pretty happy about that, but the way how my life is currently set up, I might not be going to the same school as my friends and that made me really sad, w/o them I really won't be able to function and the school i'll be going to will all these new people that I don't know....you guys know me...I think, well at least some of you know me and know that I am jam packed with anxieties and I need my friends to function and one of irl my best friends has the job of my anti-depressant and he knows that he is, I constantly tell him that and how me helps me actually function during the day. now there is a chance that I actually will go to the same school but then that would put a strain on my mother and I don't want that
so I decided to bring an old book of mine since I didn't have any old shirts for my friends to sign, and I let my teachers sign it too and another you guys have to know about me is that I am a very emotional person and I almost cried like three times hhh ;;v;;
man i'm really gonna miss my babs if and when I get to the school near my mother's house, and I don't anyone around here (I live w/ my mom now so ye just in case you didn't know) so this'll be interesting
but anyway ye thats all
~B-L-U-E
anywhore, my last week of school is next week, my school year ends on June 12th
and i'm pretty happy about that, but the way how my life is currently set up, I might not be going to the same school as my friends and that made me really sad, w/o them I really won't be able to function and the school i'll be going to will all these new people that I don't know....you guys know me...I think, well at least some of you know me and know that I am jam packed with anxieties and I need my friends to function and one of irl my best friends has the job of my anti-depressant and he knows that he is, I constantly tell him that and how me helps me actually function during the day. now there is a chance that I actually will go to the same school but then that would put a strain on my mother and I don't want that
so I decided to bring an old book of mine since I didn't have any old shirts for my friends to sign, and I let my teachers sign it too and another you guys have to know about me is that I am a very emotional person and I almost cried like three times hhh ;;v;;
man i'm really gonna miss my babs if and when I get to the school near my mother's house, and I don't anyone around here (I live w/ my mom now so ye just in case you didn't know) so this'll be interesting
but anyway ye thats all
~B-L-U-E
ugh ghu ew
General | Posted 10 years agohas anyone ever had that moment when they're so inspired to draw, but then they look at their idols and their style and they get all sad?
that's me everyday, i'm so inspired to draw right now, but I keep looking at my idols and their art and I get so bummed out and I think, I'll never improve.
i'm also scared that as soon as I start to draw, i'll see another artist's style since I hate my own and how inconsistent it is, it's so rare when I actually like the art I do, I know everyone sees things differently but I just feel so out of it and i'm slowly losing my motivation to draw anymore.
does anyone have any tips or advice, also sorry for all these types of journals, I try not to post journals at all really, hopefully soon you won't have to see anymore of these journals.why you ackin so cray cray?
General | Posted 11 years ago(EDIT)
alright so I finally found a full free version but now I have another problem, you know how when you save a picture as a png and that tab pops up? the top one is for having a pic with a white BG and the bottom one is for a transparent BG? that tab doesn't show up for me at all, has anyone ever had the same problem, if so do you think you could help me out, that will probably be the last paint tool sai related thing
hey guys does anyone know of a full and safe (FREE) version of sai?
pls link it to me, I would appreciate that greatly.
jfc...
General | Posted 11 years agowhat is an artist to do when they hate absolutely everything about their art, when watching speed paints gets them sad and jealous, and self loathing starts to occur, and they have that realization that they're never gonna improve and
they question themselves as to why people actually want art from them when they could go to a way better artist. And they suddenly get all depressed and just want to stop drawing altogether even tho its one of the only things that keep them same?
if someone knows the answer, please tell me
b/c right about now, i'm stumped and i'm a bout to give up with trying to figure it out...
they question themselves as to why people actually want art from them when they could go to a way better artist. And they suddenly get all depressed and just want to stop drawing altogether even tho its one of the only things that keep them same?
if someone knows the answer, please tell me
b/c right about now, i'm stumped and i'm a bout to give up with trying to figure it out...
i'm back
General | Posted 11 years agohello everyone, I'm finally back on FA
tbh I really missed this place
I still don't really feel like I belong here or that my art is good enough, but hopefully i'll get over that
but besides that,I just wanna wish everyone a [late] Merry Christmas, I hope you got what you wanted and if you didn't,I hope you'll get it soon!
~B-L-U-E
tbh I really missed this place
I still don't really feel like I belong here or that my art is good enough, but hopefully i'll get over that
but besides that,I just wanna wish everyone a [late] Merry Christmas, I hope you got what you wanted and if you didn't,I hope you'll get it soon!
~B-L-U-E
um ew
General | Posted 11 years agouhh hey
i'm gonna take a hiatus, idk when i'll be back
reasons?
I don't feel like I belong anywhere
it's pretty quiet on all my accounts so..ye (but that's probably my fault)
I need to get my grades up
and i'm sad
so again idk when i'll be back
but i'll be on Skype
note me if you want to talk, tho i'll only respond to people I know
sorry
I doubt anyone will care but eh whatevs
just tellin you guys
i'm gonna take a hiatus, idk when i'll be back
reasons?
I don't feel like I belong anywhere
it's pretty quiet on all my accounts so..ye (but that's probably my fault)
I need to get my grades up
and i'm sad
so again idk when i'll be back
but i'll be on Skype
note me if you want to talk, tho i'll only respond to people I know
sorry
I doubt anyone will care but eh whatevs
just tellin you guys
fffuck,,,
General | Posted 11 years agoEDIT 10/23/14
alright guys I had some time to think about my decision and I decided that i'm not leaving, but I just want to thank everyone for all the support and concern you guys showed, I never thought I would actually be missed that much
I felt really special, you guys are seriously awesome, and I wish I could give you all hugs (ofc me being shy would make it kinda be difficult for me but I would still try ^v^) but really you guys are the best.
what helped me make my decision was the thought of leaving all this behind, sure this place isn't perfect, but it's kind of like my home
and I don't wanna leave this place to soon, I wanna have the full experience of bein here, making art, meeting new people, and learning from each other and improving, If I leave, i'll never improve.
I may take a hiatus a few times but I won't leave, it'll be really hard for me to say goodbye to this place.
So again from the bottom of my heart thank you all, you truly helped me and i'm so grateful for that
uhh, well uhh lately I've been feeling kinda shitty, and I have been thinking of leaving FA a couple
of times cause I didn't feel like I belonged here, I basically feel like that on all my other accounts, right now I really feel like leaving but I would miss out on so much so maybe taking a hiatus for a couple of...days...or a few weeks will help me clear my head
I'm still thinking about it but since I barely keep you guys updated lately(even tho I know most of you probably don't care)
I thought this would be the time to give you guys an update
so uhh yeah,,,,,
alright guys I had some time to think about my decision and I decided that i'm not leaving, but I just want to thank everyone for all the support and concern you guys showed, I never thought I would actually be missed that much
I felt really special, you guys are seriously awesome, and I wish I could give you all hugs (ofc me being shy would make it kinda be difficult for me but I would still try ^v^) but really you guys are the best.
what helped me make my decision was the thought of leaving all this behind, sure this place isn't perfect, but it's kind of like my home
and I don't wanna leave this place to soon, I wanna have the full experience of bein here, making art, meeting new people, and learning from each other and improving, If I leave, i'll never improve.
I may take a hiatus a few times but I won't leave, it'll be really hard for me to say goodbye to this place.
So again from the bottom of my heart thank you all, you truly helped me and i'm so grateful for that
uhh, well uhh lately I've been feeling kinda shitty, and I have been thinking of leaving FA a couple
of times cause I didn't feel like I belonged here, I basically feel like that on all my other accounts, right now I really feel like leaving but I would miss out on so much so maybe taking a hiatus for a couple of...days...or a few weeks will help me clear my head
I'm still thinking about it but since I barely keep you guys updated lately(even tho I know most of you probably don't care)
I thought this would be the time to give you guys an update
so uhh yeah,,,,,
