Well this seemed like a really overblown ordeal...


So I've been in the garage now for about a month, at least, and things are going well, no real complaints I love what I do for a living, but my hours are not where I need them to be. I was working over 30 hours a week before I moved to my new department, and at first I was given a solid 24 hours, now I'm lucky if I get to work 19.

Even with the pay raise and everything I make as much as I did at my old department, so I want to raise the possibility of working both, way I see it, I'm working more, not taking money from that department, but I worked my old one for over a year, and I loved every minute of it. My old manager was totally fine with the idea when I talked to him, but told me I'll probably be given an ultimatum when I talk to my new one, which doesn't make much sense, I'm not leaving fully to work at another, just so that I can have the full time hours I need.

I don't want the other job because I miss it, I do, but I love my new position, problem is that I'm off over half the week and that gets to me, I don't like having too much free time, I want to work. it keeps me spending less and I end up a lot happier. I also have a lot of car bills that I need to take care of soon, and I can't do it with the money I'm making right now, which is frustrating beyond belief. I just want to be happy and do what I do best ;_;

So I'm either getting more hours, being kicked back to my old department for good, or possibly being let go? This seems way more complicated than it should, and way more than actually switching departments in the first place. Fuck I hate life sometimes.

Jeez, where to begin?

Furnal Equinox this year had to be my favorite con thus far, and I'm actually surprised by how many people actually recognized me, I feel like I did change a lot in the one year that it's been, and I also feel like I've grown out of my shell a lot more since last year as well. FE 2014 was my first ever furry convention, and I was pretty god damn shy about it, I always have been, I feel like I always will, but this year, I really feel like I broke my own mold and got out a bit more, that I was able to enjoy myself way more than I did last year, and I'm honestly really happy I did!

I met so many awesome people this year, and got to say hello to such great friends I barely get to see since I'm up north, especially since with my line of work I barely have time to come down. I really enjoyed seeing everyone, sure I did have a couple hiccups, but I try to be as nice as I possibly can and I stuck to my own methods of seeing past the bad and enjoying things like they come. I think next year for sure I'm going to try to get in as a DJ :p I wanted to try to do that this year but I put it off, that I kinda regret.

Party hat room for best room, See you all next year!

Faaaack I haven't done a journal or anything in a long while @_@ I swear I wanted to do one of these TMI Tuesdays a month ago but I forgot every single week ;_;

Anyways Imma go partake in my day n stuff... Because work... I'll just leave this here c:

Stolen from Cake (I can't do the thing with the thing D:)

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
My hands... I'm weird...

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Black with a sparkly gold phoenix on it... ITS SO DANG SHINY.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Quite possibly... I'm trying to repress that memory.

4. Do you plan outfits?
Far too much more than I should...

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
tired, bored and hungry.

6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?
The lettering on my shirt.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
THERE WERE SO MANY BEE'S!

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Not really, no... Though some customer seemed to really get along with me today, does that count?

9. What are you craving right now?
Mother. Fucking. Crispers.

10. Do you floss?
Of Cour- No.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
WHY CAN'T I HOLD ALL OF THESE CABBAGES?!

12. Are you emotional?
I don't rightly know...

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
1... 2... 3... 57... 160... 634... 765... 1,000!

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Devour it until the tears start to fall...

15. Do you like your hair?
I freaking LOVE my hair... Unhealthily.

16. Do you like yourself?
Sometimes... Mostly not.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Do I need to teach him how to eat?

18. What are you listening to right now?
Trance! Oh my god yes...

19. Are your parents strict?
painfully so...

20. Would you go sky diving?
Possibly... I am terrified of heights, so why not!

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
NOPENOPENOPENOPE!

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Yes, met Skrillex a year ago out by Capreol, found him when his train got held up here :3

23. Do you rent movies often?
I fucking miss Bianco's... not anymore sadly.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
I kid you not... a sparkly glass pumpkin...

25. How many countries have you visited?
Two counting Canada and 'Murica

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
Used to, stopped when a friend called a woman and pretended to commit suicide. Never talked to him again.

27. Ever been on a train?
Illegally.

28. Brown or white eggs?
That's racist!

29. Do you have a cell-phone?
LG somethingorother... I hate it.

30. Do you use chap stick?
Nope... I haven't in ever...

31. Do you own a gun?
I actually have 4 or 5...

32. Can you use chop sticks?
With lots of difficulty and tears.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
Nobody... such loneliness D:

34. Are you too forgiving?
Sometimes... When my depression really acts up yeah.

35. Ever been in love?
A couple times, I think my love is all broken though :/

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow (or the next soonest week day)?
I really don't know...

37. Ever have cream puffs?
Nope ._.

38. Last time you cried?
To be perfectly honest, tonight.

39. What was the last question you asked?
"What am I doing with my life?"

40. Favorite time of the year?
Spring... I love rain...

41. Do you have any tattoos?
Nope... Planning one though.

42. Are you sarcastic?
yeah... a little.

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Nope.

44. Ever walked into a wall?
Far too much.

45. Favorite color(s)?
Red! Gold! Black!

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yeah, not proud of it.

47. Is your hair curly?
Sometimes, it tends to do things on it's own, or when I style it.

48. What was the last CD you bought?
This Is Dubstep 2014

49. Do looks matter?
I don't really know... Not really, no...

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Probably not, knowing me.

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
I don't think so, no.

52. Do you like your life right now?
Some of it.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
Nope.

54. Can you handle the truth?
BITCH YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

55. Do you have good vision?
perfect actually, it's almost scary.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Yeah, I don't like hating people, but sometimes shit happens.

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Not too much. Actually with my job quite a lot.

58. The last person you held hands with?
Nobody?

59. What are you wearing?
Baggy Dark jeans, Crazy like a fox shirt, and my gold headphones.

60.What is your favorite animal?
FOX!

61. Where was your favorite picture taken at?
I can't really recall too well, but P.E.I

62. Can you hula hoop?
Sort of? My own special way...

63. Do you have a job?
Canadian Tire parts counter. I like the job :3

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Food.

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
many many times...

Well that was an awkwardly depressing peer into my soul ._.

Well tiny update thingy... blurb.

So starting my job at Canadian Tire tomorrow :D I am both really really excited, I wanna learn and to well here, but I'm nervous as hell... also I forgot how to get in in the morning x.x so we'll see how that goes, picked up my pants, hopefully my shirts are in, I've got glasses left over from Kal Tire (Haha... suckers.) so I should be set.

Also got my hands on the Caravan Palace, Panic album and Clash EP, so I'm in a really good mood tonight :3 WOOOOOO!

Welp, five more cms of snow... I'm beginning to think spring doesn't exist and is a fairy tale.

As it also turns out I found out I'm blocked from a local radio station, lookit me causing such a ruckus and disturbing the peace :3

Well as it looks, I've got a job now, I've been accepted into college (BOTH ON THE SAME DAY, WOO!) so I've put myself in a happy place, I can finally start working off my unfathomable debt! And with that comes moar cons!

So I'm looking at attending a couple this year, definitely Anime North, and also RainFurrest if I can make it out, then ending it with MFF, skipping AC again because money... And to be honest I'm looking at saving up enough and trying to get a suit in time for FE next year, it's about that time now...

In short, I'm apparently a little furry devil and they just can't handle my sass, still, accomplishment, this is going right up on the refrigerator.

First furry con out of the way, had a hell of a good time :D finally back home in the great white north (I really hate it here ;_;)

Well I seriously can't believe I made it to FE this year, it was planned for months but after my lay off in January it turned into more of a split second decision, I literally was this close to saying no. I can only afford to keep my car on the road for about a month or two now if I'm lucky, but I'm sure as hell glad I went!

Even though I was my normal overly shy self I did have a great time :D didn't met too many people but I don't mind that and there's always next year (hoping to actually have a suit by then) I guess FE also killed my phone, no texting on it anymore x.x but going to see providers about that soon.

Ended up going to both the raves both nights usually until about 11 or 12, I went to a couple panels and had a really good time, sat in most of the dance comp and fursuit games, I really just tried to do as much as I possibly could really.

Glad I could at least meet most people I already knew, and even though I've only seen a couple of you from Anime North and briefly probably at FE, I do plan on making a trip down this spring, so I shouldn't be such a big stranger soon enough :p

anyways I'm pretty tired, I dunno what I can add to this but I'll probably respond a lot, and I'm going to be a bit more active on FA now :3

ALSO UPDATE: Will be planning on attending Anime North 2014, RF and MFF

Well isn't this a swell occurance!

So about four weeks ago my laptop decided to burst into flames, which in turn meant that I suddenly found myself stuck with that troublesome thing we call real life (le gasp!).

So I've been forced all over Ontario the last four weeks, from Thunder Bay to London with almost no rest, which has lead to quite a couple highlights and near death experiences, fun fun fun!

Alright, so it seems real life has an interesting fascination with trying to kill me, I swear in four weeks I'm up to five or six times now, and I'm actually at the point where I'm not freaking the royal fuck out anymore, just sorta going "Well hows it going to play out this time?", the big man up in the sky is running out of ways, I swear it's going to start turning illogical soon!

Right, onto next thing, so then to get my mind off of an angry real life, nothing sucks more than missing a con, especially when your in the dang city literally a couple days before @_@ just about found a cardboard box to hole up in just to go! Frick it would've been nice to attend Condition!

Next up! I think I'm going to start getting back into painting, not going to be doing commissions, as much as I'd love to, I am just really terrible at doing bodies still, gotta work on it, but I do a lot of landscape scenes, so we'll see how that eventually works itself out...

I think that's about it really? I can't really think of anything else to write... I guess I'll leave it at that and go grab me a drink c:

Alright guys! I figure it's been a long time, like, since Anime North kind thing, but damn if I say here's an update!

Okay so I know a couple of you are asking me to attend Con Wasteland, and you know, I would absolutely love to, but I'm at the end of my cash flow and I'm unemployed, so the way it does look it won't be happening, I know, I suck, I want to go but as much as I really REALLY do, I can't D:

Within the next week or two I will be getting my G2, so that's something to be happy about, sadly, no money, no car = no gas and no travel, so that's pretty self explanitory.

I will, WILL be headed to London, Ontario on wednesday, and staying until Saturday, you wanna hang out? Text me! Skype me! Something, and I'll be more than happy to try! I need something to do in between chatting and Delaware Speedway, so please, I beg ya, save me from the boredom! Also keep in mind I have never been IN London before, first time I went was only cut to a single night because that's when my grandpa went into ICU and had to travel back x.x

Aaaaand that's about it really, Ballantine, out!

http://www.twitch.tv/ballantineg
http://www.twitch.tv/ballantineg
http://www.twitch.tv/ballantineg
http://www.twitch.tv/ballantineg
Join me for yarn tails and music!

WEll looks like my first general con will be Anime North this year, hopefully going to be getting a ride up with a friend, if not I'm bussing there and back, don't know where I'll be staying yet, I'm going to see if I can look for a room share for the weekend, I need to save money D:

Will be cosplaying Jack Frost, I'm getting my hair dyed before the con and I'm in the works of making the clothes and staff, gotta get my hands on some white hair chalk so I can see how it will look before the con, I really hope this all works out!

HOW OLD DO YOU ACT?

[ X] You know how to make a pot of coffee.
[ X]You keep track of dates using a calendar.
[ ] You own a credit card.
[X] You know how to change the oil in a car.
[X] You've done your own laundry.
[ ] You can vote in an election.
[X] You can cook for yourself.
[ X] You think politics are interesting

CUMULATIVE TOTAL: 6

[X] You show(ed) up for school late a lot.
[X] You always carry a pen/pencil in your bag/purse/pocket.
[X] You've never gotten a detention. (class detention doesn't count)
[X] You have forgotten your own birthday.
[X] You like to take walks by yourself.
[ ] You know what credibility means, without looking it up.
[X] You drink caffeine at least once a week.

CUMULATIVE TOTAL: 12

[X] You know how to do the dishes.
[X] You can count to 10 in another language.
[X] When you say you're going to do something you USUALLY do it.
[X] You can mow the lawn.
[X] You study even when you don't have to.
[X] You have hand washed a car before.

CUMULATIVE TOTAL : 18

[X] You can spell experience, without looking it up.
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name.
[X] Your favorite kind of food is take out.
[ ] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need.
[X] You understand political jokes the first time they are said.
[X] You can type pretty quick.

CUMULATIVE TOTAL: 22

[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment.
[ ] You have been to a Tupperware party.
[X] You have realized that practically no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay.
[X] You have been to the beach.
[X] You use the internet every day.
[X] You have been outside of your home country 3 or more times.
[X] You make your bed in the morning.

CUMULATIVE TOTAL: 27

[ ] You have filed a tax return
[X] You have used a pay phone
[X] You have been served alcohol without being ID'd
[ ] You have purchased stamps at the grocery store
[ ] You have purchased a lottery ticket
[X] You still have and use a VCR


TOTAL: 30

Age: 30

My god... what the heck is wrong with me D:

Honestly I don't know what the heck is going on o.o

I had a good time last night at a family get together, got some of the best gifts ever from my girlfriend, and gave her something that meant a lot, I was happy, like, really REALLY happy, WTF happened?

I know I'm staying in today, I was supposed to drive around town picking stuff up with my dad, but both cars are gone and I'm all alone here, I know I was invited to my girlfriends today for just a little bit, but I can't really go now, but that's not it, an I REALLY know tonight is christmas, hell I should be bouncing off the walls squeeing with joy!

But I'm not...

What the hell did I do?! I don't really understand how I could get such a bummer attitude on christmas eve, it makes absolutely no sense! Yes I am alone on christmas, yes all my plans were cancelled, but so what? I wanna feel happy! I really do!

Actually being alone on christmas shouldn't change anythiing... I'm always alone on christmas, I should be used to it by now, heck there were no problems last year. IDK I guess it's with changing times, the fact that I'm slowly withdrawing from the local fandom here, and I guess that's got me down a little, more of an isolation of sorts, but actually it shouldn't be, I still have a lot of friends, I have my girlfriend, I have a lot really, but why is it that I feel this way?

I guess I'll never know really, I just hope it eases up today, I don't want a sad christmas...

http://www.twitch.tv/ballantineg click the link for livestream!

Well, I just got back from Battle of the Dens 16, had the best time of my life there, really feel awesome now. It was there that I thought about it, and I realized how depressed I was at my job, and how it was affecting me, before BotD I was thinking about quitting, however it was halfway through the second day that I really decided to quit, and I was told by others I should too.

So that leads to this, I did quit the first day after I got back from BotD, which honestly made me feel even better, and the next day I was offered another job that was close by.

I got that job, my first day was yesterday, and honestly, I think quitting my old job was totally worth it now! I work for a Solar energy contractor doing grunt work, it's pretty easy compared to Pet Save, plenty of breaks and the work isn't too hard, it's perfect! My boss goes drag racing, so whenever he does that I get a day off, which is awesome. Still gotta ask him about my schedule...

All in all, I think I'm finally out of my little rut of depression! Fuck yeah!

Beware! Depressing journal ahead!

I'm just fucking tired of everything that's been going on, I've had two total meltdowns in the last 7 days and I don't know if there'll be more, but I just can't keep going on like this...

Things aren't too good between me and my dad, got into an arguement friday after he put me down all morning, then told me he canceled my bank account which had money in it(I couldn't get back). I took a 5 hour walk and came back, he still hasn't talked to me much at all...

That was when I had the first meltdown...

Got a job for the summer this week, was really looking forward to working for once and actually earning some money for a suit and hopefully a kart, I really was, and it was looking good, then I was told that my family wanted to go to London for the weekend, and I'm supposed to start that weekend... they want to drag me with them, I tried to ask my boss for the weekend off to do it but I couldn't get any slack. I'm being left behind because of it, I have no idea how my weekend is going to go now, and they said they may take longer, so I really have no idea what I'm going to do, how I'm going to get around (especially to amtgard this saturday) or what the hell I'm going to do for food, because I can't access the $168 I have in my bank, I don't have a pin to get any of it.


Kartings going pretty horribly, there's a guy there who's got it out for me and has thus far wrecked me out every week I go. I'm starting to really doubt going anymore, I don't pay as much as I do to be wrecked out and mocked by an asshole, and if nothing's going to be done about that, which I really complained about, as did many others, then there's no point in me continuing to race there. Which is something I love to do and look forward to each week, I don't know what I'd do if that happened, I'm just at the end of my rope, I can't keep that up.

Aaaand I had an overload with all that that happened, I broke down that night and I don't know what the hell is going on anymore, if I don't lose my job I don't know how I'm going to be able to continue, and the same with karting, everything I do just isn't good enough, it always becomes my fault, and I'm the only one that suffers because of it. I never got to do anything for quite a few summers, but when I have a great summer planned out, everything, including my life comes crashing down and destroys it. I just don't want to know what's next, I'm kinda scared about the coming weeks and I have no idea what I'm going to do... everyone in Lively I know has either stopped talking or just ignored me, so I can't really go anywhere, and everyone else is in town, so I'm stuck out here myself, I really have no idea how I can pull this off if that's even possible...

Totally Have to link this, why not? :D

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3553560/

Well looks like I'm out of comission for the week x.x

I was having a really good race, practice and qualifying went smooth, then for the first race it looked really dark, felt faster, but during the two warm up laps we got red flaggeud for a guy with jacket problems, then one more warm up with me on pole. I had a good lead, then a random yellow at the first turn screwwed us all up, two spun me and another guy were battling. I got by and had a half track lead by the 10th lap, that's when shit hit the fan...

Was on the main straight when all of a sudden the rain let loose really hard, I tried to turn into the first corner, which is sharp, and the kart just went straight, didn't even move to the side... I hit a curb, flew and twisted my wrist, injured my back and leg and have a sore neck, I made it in but the damage was done...

I think this might hurt because friday I've gotta do a demo for a class and saturday is amtgard. Oh god my week is screwwed.

Well like I said, tis the morning and made my first submission :D

I have noticed however that since I am not using a scanner and am instead using my Ipod camera to take the pictures that they are all sideways and cannot be rotated no matter what I do >.< Thus my new submissions may be a bit... sideways for the time being XD

Anyways, I need to get ready, My next day or two this week should be interesting to say the least. Still waiting for my current school to notice that I'm transfering, and that should cause me many problems.

Well damn it's been a long time since I've ever had to write one of these o.o

Well looks like I'll have to wait until tomorrow to make my first submission, won't let me upload tonight >.<

Ah well, I'll just post something when I get up at 5 am tomorrow, always works out for the best!

Figure I'd actually make my FA now, since things are looking up, just got accepted as an art major in my new school for my last year! So very happy about that. I jsut have to last the rest of my year here and I'll be at the new school come september :D I couldn't be happier, even with things where I am now horrible to deal with.

Ah well, braindead tonight X3 Can't think of anything else to say, so I'll end this now :3

Goodnight FA... Imma wake up earlier to make sure my account is working >.> if I can wake up.