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Starting Trade School
Posted 2 weeks agoIt’s that time of my life. This baby has to start his next chapter of his life. And I chose to go down the trade school road. Do I have any past experience……no. Is this one of my last options because a 4 year school is a waste of my time cuz they have 0 classes I’m passionate about……..yes. To be honest, I don’t really have any passions or dreams to follow on. This is just a starting point for me while I try and figure it out. If I like it, I’ll stay. If not, I do have one more job I might be interested in. The thought of becoming an EMT did sound somewhat promising. But after I realized they get paid a couple more than a McDonald’s worker and they have to see these gore and messed up things. I chose this first. I’m gonna be studying to become a HVAC Technician. Like I said, I have 0 experience and it’s just something that didn’t sound miserable. But I’m surely not the first person to go into a trade with no experience and knowledge of anything. My anxiety has been really bad ever since my senior year thinking about becoming an adult. Having all of these responsibilities and stuff messes with my mind. If you read my past journals. Y’all would know I had my first panic attack back in June or so. It’s was because I was thinking of becoming an adult and realizing that I’m no longer a kid. Ever since then, I had one smaller panic attack because of it. But it’s something I have to get over because it’s only gonna get harder from here. But I have faith in God that He will help me through this and to give me strength.
Just Had a Panic Attack
Posted 3 months ago0/10. Not fun. Would not recommend. To bad if you don’t want one cuz apparently they can show up out of nowhere for no reason. Or at least I thought. I had a lot on my mind
I Went Padded to Graduation
Posted 3 months agoYep! I did it. I went to my high school graduation in a diaper today. It was so surreal for some reason. Ending my childhood at graduation while expressing my ABDL side in a secret way. Forever Little! No matter what age I am. No one expected anything. Also, it was my first time going out in public wearing a diaper. So what a first time. I nervous about starting this new chapter of my life. But I trust God to lead through the uncertainty!
Padded at Graduation?!
Posted 3 months agoAs the title suggested. I’m going to my high school graduation in a diaper. I’ve thought about it for a real long 10 minutes but I could pull it off. I’ll have on underwear, khakis, a shirt tucked in, and my gown over all of that. The diaper itself isn’t very big because it is one of the cheap Walmart ones for retirement homes. So I believe no one will notices. I’ll say the hardest part of it will be putting it on in the first place. I’ll let y’all know how it goes!
Upload Schedule Change
Posted 7 months agoStarting today. My uploading schedule will be changed to Mondays and Thursdays. This is because I started full time practices with baseball and 3 uploads a week might be a little much for me. The statue builds not so much cuz that’s just a screenshot and upload. But my drawings are the cause of me changing my upload schedule.
My upload times will remain the same though.
7-10 am or 7-10 pm cst.
This is probably a permanent change since after May (When baseball season is over as well as my high school years). Ill have the summer to myself. But I don’t know if I’m going to college for baseball or to trade school. If I do play baseball for a college. It will be a big change to my schedule. Maybe once every couple weeks. If I do trade school. It will probably be twice a week. I probably much change it to once a week. But I’ll cross that bridge when I get their.
My upload times will remain the same though.
7-10 am or 7-10 pm cst.
This is probably a permanent change since after May (When baseball season is over as well as my high school years). Ill have the summer to myself. But I don’t know if I’m going to college for baseball or to trade school. If I do play baseball for a college. It will be a big change to my schedule. Maybe once every couple weeks. If I do trade school. It will probably be twice a week. I probably much change it to once a week. But I’ll cross that bridge when I get their.
Xbox Just Died
Posted 9 months agoSo yeah……..My Xbox One just died or something. It’s rather an issue with the power brick or an issue with the console. Even if it’s an issue with the power brick. I might as well buy a new Xbox. This time, I’ll be buying a series X. Luckily, it is backwards compatible with Minecraft Xbox One Edition. So I will be able to keep build statues for y’all. I tried to use the newer version of Minecraft to make post but it doesn’t look good at all. Colors are to bright and when I take the picture, there are lines and shutter effects that make it distracting to look at. But this is probably the best time for it to happen because of this month scheduling.
This month is full of drawings for Christmas and New Years. And no statue builds until January. By then, I should have a new Xbox to use then. I hope that the newer console doesn’t mess with the picture I take. If it doesn’t effect it, then good. If it does. I will try my best for them to look appealing. Or I’ll stop doing them. I hope it doesn’t come to this.
So yeah. Small rant but I hope it can be resolved.
This month is full of drawings for Christmas and New Years. And no statue builds until January. By then, I should have a new Xbox to use then. I hope that the newer console doesn’t mess with the picture I take. If it doesn’t effect it, then good. If it does. I will try my best for them to look appealing. Or I’ll stop doing them. I hope it doesn’t come to this.
So yeah. Small rant but I hope it can be resolved.
Turning 18
Posted 9 months agoWow…..I’m actually 18. Since I could remember, I’ve always looked at the age of 18 and think to myself, “I will never turn 18.” Boy was I wrong. Today is my 18th birthday and I don’t know how to feel. Most would probably be excited and thrilled to become an adult. But for me, it’s mostly worry and sadness because I’m no longer a kid. I now have responsibilities after I graduate. I shouldn’t be worried because my parents said that they would not kick me out and I could stay with them until I could financially find a place to stay. I’m just confused about it all. But I’m glad that I’m also officially an ABDL now. I can now join forums and group chats when I need too. Potentially make ABDL friends and maybe find me a partner that can love me and my little side too. My little side is an important part of me and I don’t know where I would be without it. I feel like now is about time that I talked about my journey of how I Became an ABDL. So here it goes.
I don’t have an official date of when I became a TBDL because I always had a connection to “Little” thing since around the age of 8. I remember not wanting to be out of diapers when I was 4; yes I was 4 when I was potty drained. I remember putting up a fight to stay in them. I don’t know why but it could have been an early sign, or it might have been a toddler not wanting to give up diapers yet. It’s not that uncommon for some to do that. But I do remember always being interested by Baby toys. And a month or two before I discovered my DL side, I found a pre-k map on Minecraft and I couldn’t stop playing it. It was so much fun playing on the world. But after I discovered my DL side, I shut down the idea that I was into baby things. I think that was because I knew it wasn’t normal. But, I do know when I became a DL and when I officially explored my little side.
It all started when I was 11 years old in the summer of 2018. I woke up one morning and got dressed and saw a pile of my nephews diapers laying on the floor of my room. I guessed my mom put them there to get them out the way. I ignored them at first, then I heard a weird voice in my head. It wanted me to try one on. I didn’t know where it came from or why I had that thought to begin with. But I was curious so I folded to the voice. After putting it on I felt a feeling that I never felt for. I felt fuzzy and a sense of comfort and safety. I fell in love instantly right then and there. This is when I became a DL. I tried to suppress this urge as much as I could because I knew this wasn’t normal. But it was no use. I wore them when I was alone and I love it. But ashamed at the same time. I know I’m not the only one who feels like this about there little side or DL side. But I was only 11. I didn’t know that there were people like me. From the ages of 11-15, I came to terms to myself that I like to wear diapers, but never to play with baby toys or anything like that. Now to talk about when I became a TBDL.
This started around the age of 16. I was home alone and would be for a while. I went to the kitchen to grap a cup for a drink. Then I saw my nieces baby bottle in the cabinet. Like when I saw the diapers on the floor, I ignored it and thought nothing about it. Then I heard the same voice that went dormant all those years ago. It told me to drink from that bottle. Out of curiosity, again, I grabbed it and put some juice in it. I took a sip from it and found it quite nice. Then I got the idea to grab one of my stuffed animals and a blanket and lay on the couch. No idea why but I was curious. Once I did, I felt so relaxed and carefree for the first time in a while. That same week, I was dealing with a lot of stress from school because of a lot of tests and projects, and I felt so relaxed for an hour. I wanted to keep going but I didn’t know when my parents would be back. And the last thing I would want is to get caught like that. So I put everything up and did something else. Ever since then, I bought a pacifier in secret to see how it felt. I enjoyed it very much but it was an actual baby one and it was hard for it to stay in my mouth. I got scared that I would get caught with it so I threw it out. I still regret that decision to this day. I did find one laying around the house and I’m using that one. Same issue but don’t care. After a while I wanted to figure out my little age. After some time thinking, I decided that I was 4. Then that changed to be 3-4. Then changed to be 3. Then changed to be 2-3. Now I’m wondering if I’m 2. I know that 2 is the lowest I regress to but I wonder if I’m 2 or am I 2-3. Or any other age. I would say at most I’m 2-4. But I rarely feel 4. I’m always rather 2 and sometimes 3.
My little side is important to me for many reasons.
1. It’s unique to me and many others
2. It provides an escape for my stress and my anxiety
3. I enjoy the feeling of being a little and doing little things.
Many people have their reason for why they are into ABDL. Some are sadder than others. But mine all started from curiosity.
My little side provides an escape from my stresses and anxieties. But I also like to be little just to be little. I still get those moments of self hatred especially when I see post about ABDL’s and seeing the comments they make. Calling us Mentally ill, ped0s, etc. I know I shouldn’t read them but I do to see what people say. I know it’s bad but I get curious. I also know that there hate comes from misunderstandings and how articles portray us. I’m also fortunate to have caring and supportive parents. I’m not trying to rub it in cuz I know some people have it bad. But I know they would support me. But I’m never telling them this side of me. But I do notice something that is rather a coincidence or a subtle hint that they know that I’m an ABDL.
One time we were at my brothers house for a visit. We walk into the living room and see a baby play pin for one of my nieces. After a few words exchanged, my mom says subtilely, “We need one of those for Owen.” That really threw me off guard and I didn’t know how to interpret that. I acted like I didn’t hear that but I was kinda panicking. It wouldn’t be that bad if it was a one off thing but no it happened again. We were at a friends house helping them load hay off there trailer. After that we went inside to eat some burgers. When we went inside, they had fold up tables for us to eat on. There was a tiny one on the floor kinda looking like a step stool. My mom said that one’s mine jokingly. Then she said subtilely again, “We need to get you a high chair.” That’s when I started to panic because that’s 2 comments she made about babying me. Like last time, I ignored here and thought hard about what’s happening. Lastly, one time my mom broke out one of my baby toys from when I was a baby and put batteries in it. She went into my room and shown it off to me ( I will make a post soon of what it looks like). After talking for a bit, she left it in my room. Why would she do that? She dug it out of a box. Then, she put batteries in it and left it in my room. Does she know or am I going crazy? These might be coincidences but I’m not to sure. Did y’all ever hear the saying that “Parents know more than you expect.” What if they know about my little side and trying to hint at it. Or, am I just paranoid?
Ok back on track. Some of my favorite little thing to do are the following:
1. Watching cartoons; mainly Bluey
2. Coloring/Drawing ( Drawing on this website really helps me fulfill my little needs).
3. Cuddling with my stuffies
4. Using a paci
5. Teething
6. Playing with toys
7. Being bottled fed
8. Re-creating scenario when I fall asleep.
About number 8. I know that I’m not the only one who does this but at night, I create different scenarios in my head to fall asleep to. Such as being cared for by my would be caregiver/girlfriend, having a play date, being cuddled, being bottle fed, etc. I’ve gotten this idea from a page in the comic series called Shine by
. A couple times when Star has problems falling asleep, she thinks of Martin babying her and it helps her sleep. I tried creating a scenario one night and I fell asleep pretty quickly. So yeah I have her to thank for that idea. It’s my main way of feeling little everyday. But it can be annoying.
There are times where I need to be big and I can’t get the little side of my to quiet down. Such as when I’m playing high school baseball, taking ACT’s, and at practices. It’s all I can think about sometimes and I find it hard to concentrate. Just imagine this; Pitching in a high school baseball game against your rival team. Your locked in and ready to pitch. Then you see a baby in the stands and it reminds you of your little side. Now you have to deal with playing against your rivals, and trying to put the baby to sleep for a couple of hours. It’s hard. But I have found a way to quiet it sometimes and I can get by.
Im glad I can talk about this now that I’m 18. I feel like I could have talked about this sooner but I wasn’t taking any chances with how this place has been acting recently. Now that I am 18. I’m scared like I said earlier. But I know God has a plan for me and I will walk in the path that He has set out for me. If your still reading this; which I doubt. Thank you for listening to my story and I hope you have a good day.
Bye, Adios, Au Revoir, Tschüss, Do Widzenia, ћао, пока, الوداع, 再見, ahoj, bok, farvel, doei, paalam, hei, αντίο, ביי, अलविदा, bless, Viszlát, slán, selamat tinggal, Ciao, さよなら, 안녕, vale, tchau, dovidenia, hejdå, ลาก่อน, སླར་མཇལ, güle güle, до побачення, tạm biệt, hwyl, usale kahle, ba beneen yoon, બાય, विदा, dong maber, абзиараз, and last but not least…. aloha!!
Sorry. I thought it would be nice to say bye in 42 different languages. ツ
I don’t have an official date of when I became a TBDL because I always had a connection to “Little” thing since around the age of 8. I remember not wanting to be out of diapers when I was 4; yes I was 4 when I was potty drained. I remember putting up a fight to stay in them. I don’t know why but it could have been an early sign, or it might have been a toddler not wanting to give up diapers yet. It’s not that uncommon for some to do that. But I do remember always being interested by Baby toys. And a month or two before I discovered my DL side, I found a pre-k map on Minecraft and I couldn’t stop playing it. It was so much fun playing on the world. But after I discovered my DL side, I shut down the idea that I was into baby things. I think that was because I knew it wasn’t normal. But, I do know when I became a DL and when I officially explored my little side.
It all started when I was 11 years old in the summer of 2018. I woke up one morning and got dressed and saw a pile of my nephews diapers laying on the floor of my room. I guessed my mom put them there to get them out the way. I ignored them at first, then I heard a weird voice in my head. It wanted me to try one on. I didn’t know where it came from or why I had that thought to begin with. But I was curious so I folded to the voice. After putting it on I felt a feeling that I never felt for. I felt fuzzy and a sense of comfort and safety. I fell in love instantly right then and there. This is when I became a DL. I tried to suppress this urge as much as I could because I knew this wasn’t normal. But it was no use. I wore them when I was alone and I love it. But ashamed at the same time. I know I’m not the only one who feels like this about there little side or DL side. But I was only 11. I didn’t know that there were people like me. From the ages of 11-15, I came to terms to myself that I like to wear diapers, but never to play with baby toys or anything like that. Now to talk about when I became a TBDL.
This started around the age of 16. I was home alone and would be for a while. I went to the kitchen to grap a cup for a drink. Then I saw my nieces baby bottle in the cabinet. Like when I saw the diapers on the floor, I ignored it and thought nothing about it. Then I heard the same voice that went dormant all those years ago. It told me to drink from that bottle. Out of curiosity, again, I grabbed it and put some juice in it. I took a sip from it and found it quite nice. Then I got the idea to grab one of my stuffed animals and a blanket and lay on the couch. No idea why but I was curious. Once I did, I felt so relaxed and carefree for the first time in a while. That same week, I was dealing with a lot of stress from school because of a lot of tests and projects, and I felt so relaxed for an hour. I wanted to keep going but I didn’t know when my parents would be back. And the last thing I would want is to get caught like that. So I put everything up and did something else. Ever since then, I bought a pacifier in secret to see how it felt. I enjoyed it very much but it was an actual baby one and it was hard for it to stay in my mouth. I got scared that I would get caught with it so I threw it out. I still regret that decision to this day. I did find one laying around the house and I’m using that one. Same issue but don’t care. After a while I wanted to figure out my little age. After some time thinking, I decided that I was 4. Then that changed to be 3-4. Then changed to be 3. Then changed to be 2-3. Now I’m wondering if I’m 2. I know that 2 is the lowest I regress to but I wonder if I’m 2 or am I 2-3. Or any other age. I would say at most I’m 2-4. But I rarely feel 4. I’m always rather 2 and sometimes 3.
My little side is important to me for many reasons.
1. It’s unique to me and many others
2. It provides an escape for my stress and my anxiety
3. I enjoy the feeling of being a little and doing little things.
Many people have their reason for why they are into ABDL. Some are sadder than others. But mine all started from curiosity.
My little side provides an escape from my stresses and anxieties. But I also like to be little just to be little. I still get those moments of self hatred especially when I see post about ABDL’s and seeing the comments they make. Calling us Mentally ill, ped0s, etc. I know I shouldn’t read them but I do to see what people say. I know it’s bad but I get curious. I also know that there hate comes from misunderstandings and how articles portray us. I’m also fortunate to have caring and supportive parents. I’m not trying to rub it in cuz I know some people have it bad. But I know they would support me. But I’m never telling them this side of me. But I do notice something that is rather a coincidence or a subtle hint that they know that I’m an ABDL.
One time we were at my brothers house for a visit. We walk into the living room and see a baby play pin for one of my nieces. After a few words exchanged, my mom says subtilely, “We need one of those for Owen.” That really threw me off guard and I didn’t know how to interpret that. I acted like I didn’t hear that but I was kinda panicking. It wouldn’t be that bad if it was a one off thing but no it happened again. We were at a friends house helping them load hay off there trailer. After that we went inside to eat some burgers. When we went inside, they had fold up tables for us to eat on. There was a tiny one on the floor kinda looking like a step stool. My mom said that one’s mine jokingly. Then she said subtilely again, “We need to get you a high chair.” That’s when I started to panic because that’s 2 comments she made about babying me. Like last time, I ignored here and thought hard about what’s happening. Lastly, one time my mom broke out one of my baby toys from when I was a baby and put batteries in it. She went into my room and shown it off to me ( I will make a post soon of what it looks like). After talking for a bit, she left it in my room. Why would she do that? She dug it out of a box. Then, she put batteries in it and left it in my room. Does she know or am I going crazy? These might be coincidences but I’m not to sure. Did y’all ever hear the saying that “Parents know more than you expect.” What if they know about my little side and trying to hint at it. Or, am I just paranoid?
Ok back on track. Some of my favorite little thing to do are the following:
1. Watching cartoons; mainly Bluey
2. Coloring/Drawing ( Drawing on this website really helps me fulfill my little needs).
3. Cuddling with my stuffies
4. Using a paci
5. Teething
6. Playing with toys
7. Being bottled fed
8. Re-creating scenario when I fall asleep.
About number 8. I know that I’m not the only one who does this but at night, I create different scenarios in my head to fall asleep to. Such as being cared for by my would be caregiver/girlfriend, having a play date, being cuddled, being bottle fed, etc. I’ve gotten this idea from a page in the comic series called Shine by
. A couple times when Star has problems falling asleep, she thinks of Martin babying her and it helps her sleep. I tried creating a scenario one night and I fell asleep pretty quickly. So yeah I have her to thank for that idea. It’s my main way of feeling little everyday. But it can be annoying.There are times where I need to be big and I can’t get the little side of my to quiet down. Such as when I’m playing high school baseball, taking ACT’s, and at practices. It’s all I can think about sometimes and I find it hard to concentrate. Just imagine this; Pitching in a high school baseball game against your rival team. Your locked in and ready to pitch. Then you see a baby in the stands and it reminds you of your little side. Now you have to deal with playing against your rivals, and trying to put the baby to sleep for a couple of hours. It’s hard. But I have found a way to quiet it sometimes and I can get by.
Im glad I can talk about this now that I’m 18. I feel like I could have talked about this sooner but I wasn’t taking any chances with how this place has been acting recently. Now that I am 18. I’m scared like I said earlier. But I know God has a plan for me and I will walk in the path that He has set out for me. If your still reading this; which I doubt. Thank you for listening to my story and I hope you have a good day.
Bye, Adios, Au Revoir, Tschüss, Do Widzenia, ћао, пока, الوداع, 再見, ahoj, bok, farvel, doei, paalam, hei, αντίο, ביי, अलविदा, bless, Viszlát, slán, selamat tinggal, Ciao, さよなら, 안녕, vale, tchau, dovidenia, hejdå, ลาก่อน, སླར་མཇལ, güle güle, до побачення, tạm biệt, hwyl, usale kahle, ba beneen yoon, બાય, विदा, dong maber, абзиараз, and last but not least…. aloha!!
Sorry. I thought it would be nice to say bye in 42 different languages. ツ
Life Happens......
Posted 11 months agoHi everyone, this is my first journal entry on here and it’s not what I thought it would be about. My grandma passed away last night while I was playing in a baseball tournament. We got a call saying she was passed out in our hallway with her face purple. My dad drove the 2 hours back home to drop my mom off to go attend her at the hospital, while my dad drove back to be with me at the tournament. I wasn’t given a whole lot of information on her but I was told she was still alive. After we finished up the tournament. We started to drive back home. Then I was told by my dad that she didn’t make it. Emotions are a thing that I don’t really feel in the moment for the most part with a few exceptions but I was kinda speechless. Since I was in the car with my dad I pulled it off like I was fine. Technically not wrong but I didn’t know how I felt in the moment. When we got home, my mom hugged me while she was crying saying “I’m sorry that I lied to you.” She felt bad that I was told she was fine while she passed that night. I understood that telling me while I still had to play a couple games wouldn’t have done me good and would hinder my performance. I’m fine as of right now. A couple tears shred. I’m gonna miss her a lot. She always said she wants to live long enough to see me graduate high school. She came so close but couldn’t see me after all. As of future posts. I’ll be slowing down some just so i can have some time with family and to myself. But I’ll be back to my schedule in about a week or so. I won’t be stopping completely so I can give y’all some things to look forward too. R.I.P. Oma, you will be missed. We love you! I’ll see you soon!
