Stole this from  crocdragon89's journal, right here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2150798/

As stated there, it's probably meant to be answered in regards to yourself... but using a character is much more fun. So, lemme get the perverted kitsune in here and see if he'll answer a few of these for us.

* * *

1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?

Um... friends... list? I don't understand... *has it whispered to him* Oh. Technology. Bleh. I've nothing to do with it, so no. Might have a couple friends I'd consider screwing, but I doubt any of them feel the same way. Especially Alice. She prefers to use me for non-lethal target practice.

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?

Yes, please. Er, so long as it doesn't interfere with work. My boss is a wizard, and he gets "cranky".

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?

Whichever side is most comfortable at the moment. I've found myself sleeping upside-down even, for a change of pace.

4. Do you masturbate?

...isn't that a little personal for you to be asking me?

5. How often? Lately?

Look, if you're going to ask me questions like that, at least promise me a quickie or something. I don't go around telling that stuff to perfect strangers.

6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?

...I'm not allowed to talk about that. My boss forbid me, his superiors forbid me, the mayor forbid me, the President never wants to see my name on his desk ever again... just, really. Can't do it.

My coworkers, on the other hand, seem determined to mention it every time they know they can get away with it. Must be karma for all the lady killing I did.

7. Do you prefer showers or baths?

I don't really have a preference, but baths tend to soak deep down into my fur better. Good for deep cleansing.

8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?

Plenty of times! Water makes for poor lube though. Soap's not much better.

9. Do you watch/read pornography?

...I plead the fifth on exactly what kind.

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?

Preferably passive, though some aggressive women can be fun, if you're sure they won't tear your head off. As in, literally.

11. Do you love someone on your friends list?

........you're the kind of people that killed Captain America.

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?

No, seriously. You're all shallow-minded bastards.

13. would you choose money or love?

Whoa. Uh... gettin' a little deep, aren't we? I think I'll have to get back to you on that one... if I get back to you at all.

14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?

CENSORED, CENSORED and a little CENSORED.

....you okay? You look a little green there.

15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?

Uh... no, not really. Usually, I'm the one doing that...

16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?

Bed of roses. 'Course, she made me pay for it, after they forced me to reveal what I was. Stupid, vapid, rich...

17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?

Mmm... I'll have to get back to you on that one too. Just have to make sure none of it's classified as "police business"... or breaks the privay agreements I've signed... all twenty-something of them...

18. Have you ever been caught having sex?

Jealous husbands are a bitch to run from. Even with all my magic and skills, they're very persistent. I had to duck into a gay bar once, and let me tell you, that was something I'll never do again.

Funny enough, it's the getting caught that landed me my current job...

19. Have you ever been to a strip club?

I told you, I'm not allowed to talk about that. Hell, I can't even show my face in the Red Light district anymore! Partly out of shame, but mostly because I like my teeth inside my head.

20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?

*shrugs* Plenty of times. I never much cared for alcohol anyway. Seen too many fools, of both sexes, do some stupid things while drinking it.

And for the record, I've never taken a drunk or even buzzed woman to bed. I'm better than that. I pride myself on seducing the sober, not the plastered.

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?

Again, I'm not allowed to talk about that.

...but it was kinda fun.

22. Ever been picked up in a bar?

Well, there was that one Rakshasa chick. Little aggressive for my tastes, but damn was she a good lay! Sadly, she turned out to be an evil bitch, so I had to take her down. They don't allow conjugal visits for "freaky" prisoners.

23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?

Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you. Not if this is going to go public.

24. What's your sexuality?

Totally straight. On the other hand, I can shape-shift, so it's hard not to fantasize sometimes.

Maybe if I found another shape-shifter or kitsune gal who's into kinky stuff...

25. Had sex in a movie theater?

Not that I recall, but thanks for the suggestion!

26. Had sex in a bathroom?

I did mention the shower sex, yes? As for public restrooms, I'd rather stab myself with a used needle. I'd have less chance of contracting a disease.

27. Have you ever had sex at work?

...I prefer to remain employed. Also, I value my scrotum.

28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?

Probably. I forget the last time.

29. Bought something from an adult store?

...I plead the Fifth. <.<;;

30. Do you own any sex toys?

Again. Plead the Fifth.

31. If yes, how many and what are they?

Look, if you really want to know all these naughty details about me... I'm gonna need a little nooky first. Even a first date would be a step in the right direction.

32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?

Cameras don't like me. The feeling is mutual.

33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?

A couple times. One chick didn't seem to mind it so much, but maybe that's 'cause she actually thought it was kinky.

Didn't think it was so kinky when it turns out I was seeing way more women than she thought.

34. Have you ever had phone sex?

Why settle for just a voice when I can have a body to go with it?

35. Have you ever had cyber sex?

Kinda need a computer for that. They don't like me.

36. Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse?

*shrugs* Close enough. There's fun bits being played with, and you certainly can't do it in public. I'd say that counts.

37. What's your favorite sexual position?

I believe in showing rather than telling.

38. What's your favorite sex act?

Last time I mentioned that, you looked a little sick. I'll spare you this time.

39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?

Once, I think. I'm pretty sure I've had at least one threesome. Possibly twins.

40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?

People who are too bored for their own good? At least it's over; some of those were way too personal, even for me.

Can you guess what day it is? =D I bet you can!

*dances around*

I has a birthday. =3 It's March 3rd. It's comin' up real fast, so I figured I'd alert you all to this. Y'know, in case some of you are motivated to get me somethin'. Not that you have to, but... it's nice to get gifts, y'know?

Only suggestions I can make are to get me something on Steam... I have a wishlist there, and I think my account is similar to my username. Should be easy to find.

The other thing you can do is buy me something from this list:

http://ransomedheart.com/more_recom.....edReading.aspx

But you may need to wait until after my B-day to coordinate with me. ^.^;; I gave the same list to my family, so they may buy me something you intended to get me. I'm fine with belated gifts if it avoids the trouble of getting doubles. =P Though I suppose I could just sell or give away any duplicates.

Anyway, I'll cya in a couple weeks!

Isolation. It's a nasty thing. To feel cut off from everyone and everything. To be alone. To some people, this is their idea of "paradise", a chance to be left alone. They're welcome to it. Me, I often find it's my greatest fear.

I think that's why the Enemy uses it against me so much. This insane, illogical, persistent feeling of Isolation, even when I'm in a room full of people. Where shall I go for help? Every option I bring up in my mind tends to get swatted down. And y'know, until now, I never questioned who was doing the swatting. Isolation is worse when it's self-imposed, and I have done it to myself too often. I don't doubt some of it is because of the three greatest opponents any Christian will face in this life. And yet, in many ways, all their plans backfire. I'm only more and more determined to get free and find the life God offers. I can't live this way forever, not after having tasted Real Life. Be like forsaking The Olive Garden for Happy Meals. It makes no sense.

The World, now, there's a bit of trouble for me. Not so much the secular itself as any part of "society" and "civilization" that takes me away from God. For me, this has been the Furry Fandom. Oh, it's not all bad. I have seen some of the best humor, artwork and stories come out of it. The people there are friendly and good-natured, and for the most part seem like the kind of people I'd love to make friends with. But I don't belong there. That's always been a feeling with this crowd. The sex and pornography, the spite and "drama" that crops up, the prevailing political and religious views... all these rub me the wrong way. And even though I'm not about to let them change who I am, not for the worse, it pains me to think I am so alone. How many furries share my views? My beliefs? By my count, damn few, if any. Even the Christian furs either accept things I cannot or find it hard to accept the teachings of one John Eldredge, whom I'm something of a disciple of. Chiefly, it's the spiritual warfare thing. Can't say I blame them. Easier just to accept the "common wisdom" that "those days are over" and just try to get on with life. But how do you do that in the middle of a war zone? People are being wounded and killed left and right, their hearts wrapped in chains and tortured...

"And know that I will impale her like a knife... leave her twisting, day after day after day of her very short life... with... me..."

"Misery" by Transiberian Orchestra. Does a pretty good job of describing what the devil does to people every day. And I'll bet not one in a hundred who hear that song think of it as anything but fantasy. Scary and unnerving, yes, but only fiction. And then they wonder why life is so hard.

Come to me, boyos. I'll tell ya why life is hard. It's because no matter what pleasant circumstances you're born into, no matter what kind of "head start" you may get... there's a sniveling, snickering little bastard of a fallen angel slinking through the shadows. He hates you. Every single one of you. And me as well. After all, if he's really the source of all evil, then Envy is one of his, and Envy can never stand to see something out of reach. It will either steal it or destroy it if it can, so it's no surprise that the devil seeks to steal and kill and destroy. Jesus called him a thief, and a thief he is. And he's eager to steal anything he can from you. Family, friends, those pleasant things that uplift your soul, your job that you love... hell, even your pets. I bet some of those "accidents" and kidnappings had his subtle hand guiding them. If a little girl is mentally and emotionally scarred, then his work is complete.

And who here believes what I'm saying? Who here doesn't shrink back, doesn't think twice and wonder if I'm off my rocker?

...my point exactly.

You're supposed to find your platoon. That's what John said. I admit, I've done a piss-poor job of that. Maybe because I'm afraid of rejection, of having more doors slam in my face as people fail to realize what I'm saying. But then, is it really so important that they hear me? Or John? Supposed to be God they're listening to, after all. And yet... and yet, I yearn for what David had. A confidant, a friend, and more... a man he could trust with anything and everything. Someone he'd never have to fear baring his soul to. Johnathan was more dear to him than all his wives and concubines.

And that idiot at the fur con had the audacity to say this made them gay. It's infuriating. It's laughable. I almost wish I'd punched him. 'Tis a dishonor to such an honorable king. Even if he did mess up bad now and then, he always sought to make it right once God gave him a kick in the rear. I hope to make such grand mistakes myself someday. Would mean I'm actually making some kind of impact. And God can work with the consequences.

The church probably would find many of my views more acceptable, especially those on gay marriage and King David. Yet... maybe I make too much of it... but I fear revealing my "furriness" to them. I don't know what they've seen or heard. And last thing I want is to deal with the drama of some people having the wrong idea. On the other hand... "Those who care don't matter, and those who matter don't care", right? So long as I'm not gettin' into porn and lots of sex with random strangers, would they care if I was into animal people? Perhaps not. I guess I worry over these things a bit too much. You can tell it's worry because I think a lot but do little to fix it. Self-perpetuating too.

And still, chruch is one of the many places I feel isolated. Doesn't help that I have this deep-seeded aversion to crowds. Yet when I'm going a bit crazy, I'm drawn to them, if only to be around people (heaven help us if I happen to snap while in one). Wouldn't surprise me to find some demons latching on to me in those crowds, seeking to keep me isolated and alone. I can only imagine why. There must be a reason for cutting me off. I mean, sure, they'd do it for laughs, but there's a war going on. Even they don't have the luxury of torturing us just for spite or amusement. So, going by my understanding of things... I guess I must have some gift with people. And they'd like so much to keep that locked up in my head, along with Lucius to keep me in line. Too bad for them he's lost his status with me. Making agreements with him was a bad idea, so I've made sure he won't be bothering me again. Until I need him, he stays put.

My, how I ramble. God knows what will happen if I ever start preaching. Be interesting to watch, I'm sure.

Things seem like they've gotten worse though. Been having a few breakdowns and near-misses, feeling like my emotions are going all over the place. Part of it may be my neglect of saying my prayers; part of it is may be my choice in majors. I nearly had a breakdown today. First half of my Foundations of Design class, I was real depressed and moody. Not doing much of anything. And then, after the break, I just figured I might as well go back in and try to get something done. And I did. And by the end of class, I felt much better. Just like the sillhouette drawings I did over the weekend, there is something soothing about this art stuff. I feel accomplished; I feel peaceful. I guess this is why God wanted me here. And why there's been so much opposition, so much assault on my mind and emotions. I must be on the right track. And if Beethoven could face down the devil, why can't I? Even if I meet the same fate, 'tis only death and a short trip Home. And if I'm lucky, a masterpiece worthy of my life. Not a bad note to go out on.

So, even if most of the fandom and the devil and even my own sin seeks to undo me, I will not relent. God has a purpose for me. And I know who I am, and that knowledge grows a little every year, if not every day. If people have a problem with who I am, I just have one thing to say to them...

*puts on sunglasses*

...deal with it. =P

...have I mentioned my niece is cute? =D 'Cause she is!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1946586/

Watch the video. Have your faith in humanity restored. 'Cause as broken and lost as we are, we are still not beyond hope.

Got a bad situation with my uncle. Seems he's suicidal, and talking about "saying goodbye" on the weekend. My mother was very distraught when talking on the phone with him. Add to this a potential drinking problem, and this is a recipe for disaster. He has surgery in the morning. Performing it, not, y'know... receiving.

My father, mother, and I are going up tomorrow to see him. Possibly my sister too. I may pack a bag in case we need to stay over night, though I do need to be home Friday for something... though I can always call them to cancel.

Please pray for us as we travel, and for my uncle. I think he needs God's love more than anything right now.

Thank you. And God bless.

Just read about the cub porn ban. Myself, I'm rather glad to see it go, but I'm not one to antagonize those who draw or "enjoy" it. I think it's a rather disturbing form of porn that may have untold effects upon a person's soul, yet I know that people will continue to be depraved, even when there are laws against it.

What I like best though is this wasn't the result of a government mandate or because a bunch of "culture warriors" who think Veggie Tales is pushing it went and petitioned the admins. No, it happened simply through simple, natural market forces. If you think capitalists are all evil, greedy a-holes, then riddle me this, genius:

Why would they avoid funding sites that host cub porn, which is possibly one of the most heinous and morally ambiguous things to ever hit furry fandom? You'd think, being the nefarious cultists worshiping money instead of the planet that they are, they'd have no problem jumping on board with this. Sure, they'd probably want to keep it low key (bad PR is bad PR, period), but pull out? With all the money involved? I wouldn't expect to see the pigs trampling each other on the way to the trough, yet one would figure they'd wander over in search of new money to gobble up.

A more likely answer is that most capitalists are more like Scrooge McDuck. A bit stingy when it comes to their money, and prone to bouts of greed and foolishness. Yet do you think people like him would "invest" in something that has such a large gray area to it? Capitalists, even the greedy, "evil" ones, have limits. They're people too, and just as broken and stupid and foolish as you or me. So, please, give 'em a break, okay?

Enough preachin'. I need sleep. Bye all.

I was listening to Rush Limbaugh's show for a few minutes, hearing what the guest host had to say about the TSA's newest invasion of privacy, these hard pat-downs they're implementing... even on children. But there was one statement of his that really caught my attention:

(paraphrasing here)

"Until every American penis feels the firm hand of Government, we will never be safe!"

I thought you had to be on XM radio to say things like that!

Obviously, he's being facetious. But... well, I dunno. Just seems like a really "gay" thing to say is all.

Just wait until the furry fandom gets a hold of this one...

I've been around the fandom for a while and seen quite a few things. Probably one of the most common things I've seen is gender-bending characters, swapping women into men and vice versa. This happens with everything from personal, original characters to well-liked "celebrities" from popular shows and video games (not touching Renamon; people make their own assumptions). However, there is something odd I've noticed.

I've seen a lot of art depicting Sly Cooper as a woman. Femme Cooper seems to be very popular with the fandom, especially those who liked the TG stuff. Yet I can't ever recall someone drawing Carmelita Fox as a man! Why is this? Is she just not as popular, or do people prefer TG when it's man to woman? Are people just biased? I'm clueless here. I mean, I'm straight and yet I think Carmelita would make a very handsome, sexy man.

After all, she's Latino. Imagine her as a man with broad shoulders, ripped body and long, flowing hair. Now add your favorite Latino accent (which I'm sure many of them will assure you there's more than one =P) and you've got a sexy hunk to make the ladies weak in the knees.

Honestly, why has no one done this? I've seen a male Krystal for heaven's sake! Why no love for Interpol's hottest inspector?

*shrugs* Maybe I'm just a crazy fanboy...

WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE AHEAD

So. You remember that game I praised so highly a couple weeks back? Jolly Rover? Well, the game has officially managed to piss me off. I need to blow off steam, so prepare for a good, hard rant, with plenty of swearing thrown in. You were warned.

I've been enjoying the game so far, and although I did have to get a hint on one of the puzzles, mostly I just played around with things until they presented solutions (you'd be surprised what random combining of objects can do). Then I got to a puzzle that can't be solved with random combining of items. And this is where things went bad.

To solve the puzzle, you need three key pieces of information, which translate into numbers on a combination lock. I got all the information I needed, but the problem was the combination was a bugger to figure out. I tried several different combinations with no luck. I wasn't even sure I had the second bit right, so I felt helpless. I had to turn to the hint guide for help (Jaun Leon, the parrot). Because, y'know, hint guides are meant to give you information when you get stuck, and he usually gives me a prod in the right direction.

Fucking feathered bastard. He has a lot of character, but he's a piss poor source of information. If you're not already thinking in the right direction, then Jaun is not helpful. At all. He's great at telling you what you need, but for this particular puzzle he won't tell you how to interpret it. How was I supposed to know to reduce it all to single digits?! The fucking game never even hinted at that!! There was no indication this was required. I just ended up turning the fucking wheel this way and that, trying to figure it out. And Jaun? Oh, he never told me what to do. Oh no.

He showed me.

He fucking showed me.

*deep breath*

I'd just like to say to the developers at Brawsome...

FUCK YOU! THAT IS NOT A HINT GUIDE!! THAT's THE FUCKING GAME SOLVING ITSELF!!!! I CAN TURN A FUCKING WHEEL, YOU FUCKTARDS!! I WANTED THE DAMN INFORMATION!! THE SOLUTION!! JUST GIVE ME THE ANSWER AND I CAN DO THE REST MYSELF!! I AM NOT SO FUCKING HELPLESS THAT I NEED A FUCKING, PERMANENTLY INEBRIATED, ARROGANT PIECE OF SHIT OF A PARROT TO TURN A FUCKING WHEEL FOR ME!!! THIS IS NOT MYST IV FOR FUCK'S SAKE!! THOSE OF YOU WHO THOUGHT HAVING THE PARROT SOLVE THE PUZZLE FOR ME DESERVE TO BE KEELHAULED!! ON A FUCKING AIRCRAFT CARRIER!!!

YOU LOSE!! YOU GET NOTHING!!! GOOD DAY, SIR!!!!



...what the fuck are you looking at? Get!

Just purchased a game I've had my eye on for a while. I got the demo and loved it, and I bet most any furry would get a kick out of it, and even non-furries too.

It's called "Jolly Rover".

Basically, imagine if Monkey Island had gone to the dogs. Literally. Every single character in this game, save for one very talkative (and permanently drunk) parrot, is some breed of dog. From pirates to guards to fair maidens and ghosts, if it talks, chances are good it's a dog. This alone ought to appeal to most furry fans out there. And pirates! How can you not love pirates? That doubles the awesome!

What really grabs me though are the characters and the sense of humor. Each character is rather unique, including the protagonist, one Gaius James Rover, who's a clown (and a Dachshund) without a circus. Seeing as his father, Jolly Rover, died in a tragic accident involving a cannon, poor Gaius ended up in the greedy paws of his uncle. After creating a new drink purely by accident, James earns lots of money... for his uncle. But luck seems to favor him when his uncle is out and an order for his unique brew arrives. Sailing off with his own crew, James goes out to seek his fortune!

It does not go as planned.

Finding himself in debt to Governor de Silver, James has to come up with thirty (count 'em, 30) Pieces O' Eight or find himself in hot water. It starts an adventure that may just give him the life he always wanted... if he survives.

The humor itself is decidedly... punny. It's true. You can't get through the demo itself without smacking into them. James makes quite a few as he seeks his fortune ("That's one small step for dog, one giant leap for canine!"), they pop up in names (visit the Stumble Inn if you need something to drink), and there's even a few stealth puns lurking beneath the surface (pay close attention to the accent of the inn keeper, then note his breed). If you buy this game, expect to pun into quite a few as you play.

Add to this a crew of surly pirates, a potential love interest, ghosts, voodoo, cannibals, a fiendish plot... well, you'll just have to play it for yourself, ya landlubber!

That's all for now!

Batter the hatchlings!

Praise the Lord! I am free!

Wait, wait. I should back up. I just... it's so hard to keep from shouting my praise! It's just so awesome what He's done for me today!

You see, I've been going through this workbook I bought at the Wild At Heart Boot Camp. It's a companion guide to "Walking With God", which I've felt the need to do in the last few weeks... or months. Life has been a little confusing; who better to ask about it then God?

Anyway, it does dive into some deep and personal questions, often forcing you to admit what you believe about God, love and other things, looking for what needs to be healed and where you've made agreements with the devil. It's rather heavy stuff and I would warn anyone going in that you can expect God to take a roto-rooter to your heart. Hurts like hell while it's happening, but oh! OH! The RELEASE that comes afterward! I feel like shouting His words to me to the very heavens!!

Ohhhhh, but I should share! I should! It's so awesome!

Things got real heavy today. Got down to agreements about love in particular. The workbook forced me to narrow things down, to expose what part of my life I had not yielded to God (and there may still be others; who knows?). When I finally got right down to it, I discovered what I really believed about love:

"It's too hard to find; why look?"

Oh, the pain. The heartache. The absolute conviction. This is what God was driving at. The wounding of my sexuality, of my romantic heart. The devil wanted me to think myself a dreamer, a fool, a "hopeless romantic"; a person full of passion and love but unable to ever handle it. Unable to ever win a woman. God knows, I've messed up so badly. If my past were not merely virtual, if my actions had not remained purely on the internet, I would be... *sigh* This part's hard, but true. A slut. A prostitute. A whore. Who did I deny when they asked? Who did I turn down? If it had happened in reality, I'd be lucky not to have twenty kinds of STD. I went looking for love in all the wrong places, at least one that felt right to me... and I got burned. So I made my agreements with the devil and locked up my heart. Who could blame me?

But oh! My Father would not tolerate that! He's been leading me here, though I could not see it. My heart was laid bare, the agreement exposed. I could not deny the pain and agony any longer. It's probably why I went numb after my last girlfriend broke up with me. It was just easier not to feel the pain, nor feel sorry for what I'd dealt her. But God has healed me of that. It was hard, and it hurt, yet He pulled me through. He took me to that place in my heart, and you know what he told me?

"You are a wonderful, compassionate young man, full of love. You are worthy of a wife. Go and find her."

HALLELUJAH!! I feel like dancing! Like singing! Like shouting it to the world! How can I keep from singing His praise?!? It's fantastic! Wonderful!

Now I just need to ask Him where to look. Man, this is so exciting!! I don't care how long it takes! I'm gonna find a woman, and... and... oh, I'm not too sure on the details, but I know I'll find one for me! And then... the real adventure begins!

Wish me luck!! ^.^

P.S. And my keyboard troubles are clearing up! Seems only the Capslock is holding out on me. w00t! God is AWESOME!!

Well, here we go. Tomorrow, I fly out to Denver, where hopefully I can catch the shuttle, then ride for two and a half hours to Crooked Creek Ranch. I'll be there until Sunday, attending the Wild At Heart Boot Camp, a retreat designed to help men recover their heart and their connection to God. I'm nervous and excited and really hope this proves to be a turning point for me. God knows, my future hangs upon the edge of a knife; stray but a little...

I write this to let you all know where I'm gonna be this weekend. Also, to request prayer, because God knows I'm gonna need it. Mostly I just want safe travels and for God to work a great wonder within me, something that'll really set my heart on fire and free me to do what I was made to do. I appreciate all the prayers and will see you when I see you.

Thank you all and God bless.

Here we go. Offline for a month. Gonna be rough. I know the Enemy will be after me. All those little excuses, the little lies, the justifications. They'll be swarming me. So please, if you will, pray hard for me. I'm gonna need it.

And for those of you who might think I'm going too far, chew on this:

I just talked to a friend of mine tonight. Two, in fact, whom I do not even remember the last time we talked. They've been online the same time as me, often enough that all I had to do was double-click. Two clicks, type something, hit enter. And I never did.

This is what he does to you. This is what the Thief of Joy takes delight in. He takes one little thing, something innocent and simple, and he turns it into an addiction. My heart tears to think upon all the people I've missed... just by never taking the time to talk. The internet has stolen me from everyone and everything that I love.

It hurts, dammit. But at least I'm feelin' something. At least my heart mourns. If I felt nothing, I would already be lost.

Take care, all of you. I'll see you in September.

I will be gone in August. My last day on the job is July 30th (though technically I'll sign out on July 31st, 2:30 AM), and I don't want to go back to the life I had before. Nothing but mindless activity on the internet. Idle as all hell, and ripe for temptation. I can't afford to go backward, not when I've made such strides. And half-assed measures aren't working. I have trouble merely rationing my time online. Seems when I abstain I end up spending nearly all my free time online when I go back to my computer. It's getting to the point where I can't even write anymore because my hand goes wandering up to open my browser.

No more of this. I need a change. A break. I dedicate August to the renewal and restoration of my heart. I will avoid even plugging in my computer in August and focus on other things I can do. And if need be, I'll unplug my TV as well to keep it from distracting me. I cannot afford to let the Enemy win. I cannot be idle when unemployed. It is not good for my soul, and besides, society would be deprived of whatever I have to offer, whatever my skills might be worth. Still, I need to look to the future and figure out where I'm going to go to college. I get this sense that I'm meant to seek out creative outlets, to find a way to express the thoughts in my heart and mind. And nothing lies closer to my heart than my creative talents, save God Himself. And if DigiPen won't have me, then the local college might provide me with an art degree. Whatever happens, I must seek my destiny.

If anyone wishes to stay in touch with me offline, I can provide you with my cell phone number, privately of course. I can call and text, so your options aren't limited, but please understand I am not always available to talk. Don't panic if I don't answer right away; I'll always get back to you whenever I have the time and the energy. If I don't, try again. Your luck improves each time you contact me.

I look forward to this month. I am excited, yet also scared. I can only pray that the Lord of Hosts will be with me, and guide me through these dangerous, uncertain waters. I will not succumb to the Rat Race, neither will I be the devil's workbench. I will be who I was meant to be, come hell or high water, and on the day of evil, stand.

Good luck to all of you, and God bless.

The older Christian wedding vows contained these amazing words: "With my body, I thee worship." Maybe our forefathers weren't so prudish after all; maybe they understood sex far better than we do. To give yourself over to another, passionately and nakedly, to adore that person body, soul, and spirit-we know there is something special, even sacramental about sex. It requires trust and abandonment, guided by a wholehearted devotion. What else can this be but worship? After all, God employs explicitly sexual language to describe faithfulness (and unfaithfulness) to him. For us creatures of the flesh, sexual intimacy is the closest parallel we have to real worship. Even the world knows this. Why else would sexual ecstasy become the number one rival to communion with God? The best impostors succeed because they are nearly indistinguishable from what they are trying to imitate. We worship sex because we don't know how to worship God. But we will.

We have grown cynical, as a society, about whether intimacy is really possible. To the degree that we have abandoned soul-one-ness, we have sought out merely sex, physical sex, to ease the pain. But the full union is no longer there; the orgasm comes incomplete; its heart has been taken away. Many have been deeply hurt. Sometimes, we must learn from what we have not known, let it teach us what ought to be.

God's design was that the two shall become one flesh. The physical oneness was meant to be the expression of a total interweaving of being. Is it any wonder that we crave this? Our alienation is removed, if only for a moment, and in the paradox of love, we are at the same time known and yet taken beyond ourselves.

(Desire, 134-35)

Stolen from  crocdragon89

Who stole it from  cleveartois93

1. (x) Have you ever howled at the moon?
2. ( ) Have you ever barked at someone?
3. ( ) Have you ever found yourself drawing or scribbling furry art when you're supposed to be doing something else?
4. ( ) Have you ever worn an animal costume or tail as a child and pretended to be an animal?
5. ( ) Have you ever eaten out of a dog bowl?
6. (x) Have you been to at least one furry con?
7. ( ) Do you like to look at furry porn all the time?
8. (x) Do you RP or play second life as a furry character?
9. ( ) Do you own a fursuit or at least a tail?
10. (x) Do you know what all these words mean or have used them at least once?
11. ( ) Do you have at least 5 videos of you acting or doing something furry on youtube?
12. ( ) Has your anthropersona/character been drawn in a furry porn type manner?
13. ( ) Are you well known in the furry fandom?
14. ( ) Do you dream furry while you sleep?
15. ( ) Would you transform into your character/fursona if you were given the chance to live like that for the rest of your life?
16. ( ) Have you ever worn a collar?
17. ( ) Do you own more than 20 art badges of your fursonas or characters?
18. ( ) Have you been to more than 20 furry cons in your lifetime?
19. ( ) Do you think that deep down you have the spirit of an animal within you?
20. (x) Do you enjoy hanging out with other furries?
21. ( ) Do you think we should have a furry run for president of the USA?
22. ( ) If you ever became rich would you own a room in your house that was just to display your fursuits or furry art?
23. (x) Is your best friend furry?
24. (x) Do your furry friends call you by your furry name in public?
25. (x) Have you been in the furry fandom for at least 5 years?

Total: 8

1 to 5 = Furry wannabe.
6 to 10 = Furry newbie.
11 to 15 = Furry.
16 to 20 = Hardened Furry.
21 to 25 = Hardcore Furry.

asdghkljkWHAT. I've been in this fandom for over nine years and I'm still a newbie?!

Sir, I do protest! Me thinks this meme is biased!

Courtesy of  bakasukonku

Because he couldn't stand looking at the old one made from a picture he did for me years ago. =P But that's okay, 'cause now I look SMEXY!! <3

The Link of the Day nearly has me crying. I never knew this man; I was seven the year that he died. And yet, he still touched my life. Sesame Street, the Muppet movies, Fraggle Rock... even The Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal...

It never seemed like foam and wire to me. They were alive. They were people, these Muppets. And they always had such wonderful ideas and stories. The best part was that it wasn't all silliness. Sesame Street even had a couple touching numbers. Slow songs that I used to hate as a kid 'cause they didn't go fast enough; the same songs that now touch my heart deep inside.

I'll betcha one thing though: if Jim ain't in heaven, Muppets will be. God doesn't let good things fade away. Only the bad or mediocre. And how could anything as wonderful as these characters be denied passage through the Gates of Pearl?

Good on ya, Jim, wherever ya are. I hope to shake your hand someday.

Well, I don't quite know how to begin. Things are a little weird for me right now, and the con seems mostly to blame.

The con itself was pretty good. Kinda wish I'd been more open and sociable, but wasn't bad for my first time. People were nice and willing to talk. I still think my favorite part was the huge Fluxx game that used the original pack, as well as the Zombie and Monty Python versions. Suffice to say, we needed all the people we had at the table. Things got pretty twisted.

The bad part though was I had a demon of lust riding me through most of it (yes, I know I'm crazy; I'm a writer and a Christian; part of the territory). It was rather frustrating 'cause I couldn't really bring myself to even ask anyone for sex. And even though I want to be chaste until marriage, the temptation was still there; I just felt like I could never give in even if I wanted to. In the end, it almost resulted in disaster, but nothing happened. Just got a little shaken at how close things came. Doesn't help that I still get thoughts in my head... or that I keep thinkin' about that fox in the bunk next to mine. Ye gods, I don't even know if he's legal and he keeps popping up in my head. *sigh* Temptation sucks.

The weird part though... the con has me somewhat unnerved. I smelled my sleeping bag sometime last weekend, and the musty odor brought back memories of the con and my cabin. And... I dunno. I feel that in some way it has undone me. I just feel... alive.

For some reason, the con just keeps reminding me of heaven. People may think I'm crazy, but... for me, heaven is like a never-ending convention of furries, geeks and other wonderful people, all of them working on various things. Some God gives to them, and others they choose themselves. And there's unending creativity, endless projects and art and stories and... and fursuits! I mean, c'mon, you think heaven doesn't have more than a few costume designers up there? I'm betting there are or will be fursuits in heaven. How can there not? I mean, I find it hard to believe that being a furry means an automatic ticket to hell. =P And though I haven't read my Bible much, I have yet to find the verse that reads, "Thou shalt not be a furry; it disturbs the Lord your God." I'll let you know if I find it.

It's just... oh man. I've written this week. Haven't done that in a while, except for my entry for the Project Minotaur OCT on DA (go check it out; it's cool). And that was mostly before the con, and felt a bit like it was forced in some places. But then I come back... and... I dunno. In some ways, things go back to normal for a week... then, suddenly, I'm reminded of the con, and everything changes. I wrote another chapter in a secret project of mine. I finished my entry for the OCT, then edited and posted it yesterday. And I still feel the urge to do more, to... to CREATE.

Is this not what I'm here for? Why would God give me these desires and not intend for them to be fulfilled? It makes no sense! No, no, He must mean to fulfill them, if only I will seek Him out first. For what good is seeking God if your desires go unsatisfied? Not unless they will be someday. Not unless eternity means endless fulfillment and restoration. Heaven cannot be an endless sing-a-long in the sky. It'd get boring fast. Has to be exciting, otherwise, why go there? Hell would be preferable. Almost.

*sigh* Ye gods, I don't know what to do with myself. I feel energized, I feel invigorated, I feel...

I am alive! Lord help me, I know the feeling will end, but... please. Let it last. Let me create. Let me be alive in You. It's worth any pain the longing gives me.

I just wanna be with You
Just want this waiting to be over
I just wanna be with You
And it helps to know the day is getting closer!

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
'Til I won't have to imagine
And I'll finally get to see You...

Smile!

So, apparently there's now an option to post your Facebook page up in your contact information on your userpage. Yep, you can put it right up there where everyone can see it.

This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I mean, good grief! That's just asking to have your account spammed by countless furries. Some of whom may be slightly more "friendly" than you like. Not to mention your family and friends might try to friend them... and find out "who you really hang out with".

This... oh lord. This is the worst idea FA has ever had. I'll be over here in the bunker while the Fandom introduces itself to Facebook.

Mostly for the heck of it. =P No peeking!

---

1 - Do you shower in the morning or evening?

I try to shower when I get up in the morning, so I don't put it off too late.

2 - Do you use liquid or bar soap?

Liquid.

3 - Do you use shampoo and conditioner or just shampoo?

Shampoo. Conditioner if I can get a non-girly one.

4 - Do you brush your teeth in the shower?

Who does that?

5 - Do you shave in the shower?

Only if I'm shaving parts I can't show in public. <.<;; Usually with something filled with hot water.

6 - Do you sing in the shower?

Yep!

7 - Do you use a washcloth?

Used to, but loofahs give more suds. Just wish mine wasn't purple.

8 - Do you have a door or a curtain on your shower?

Curtain.

9 - Have you ever taken a call in the shower?

Nope.

10 - Have you ever showered in your swimsuit?

A couple times, usually after I've been in a hottub or pool, to get the chlorine off. =P Though if I'm doing that, I usually take it off in the shower so I can dress in clean clothes afterward.

11 - Have you ever showered with a member of the same sex?

Nope. Baths with my brother don't count (we were kids anyway), and it took me a while to get over switching clothes in the locker room in Jr. High School. No one showered or went naked though, and I still can't look at another man naked irl. <.<;; And after seeing so much gay porn, I don't dare.

12 - Have you ever showered with a member of the opposite sex?

*blushes fiercely* No.

13 - Do you share a bathroom with someone?

I share a bathroom with my eldest sister, until one of us moves out.

14 - Do you listen to the radio in the shower?

I do now since sis got a shower radio.

15 - Do you wear a shower cap?

I may have once, but I don't see much reason to wear one.

16 - Do you wash behind your ears?

Well, probably not, but the shampoo from my hair drips down there.

17 - Describe your shower in three words.

Um... I got nothing.

18 - What one thing would you change about your shower?

A tub I could lay down in without having to sit up or scrunch my legs when I take baths. D= Growing up can suck.

19 - What would make your shower time better for you?

Maybe a wife. *blushes* Kinda wanna know what it's like to shower with a partner.

20 - What celebrity would you like to shower with?

Find me one with a good personality, decent looks and who won't rant at me for being a Conservative... and I'll consider it. In any case, I think my luck would be better outside the Furry Fandom. =P No offense, people.

21 - What celebrity would you NOT like to shower with?

Anyone with the body type of Michael Moore. >.< EEUUGH!!

22 - What is the one thing you can't do without in your shower?

No clue, but actual running water is a must.

23 - What is the oddest thing that has happened to you in the shower?

No comment.

24 - What is the best thing that has happened to you in the shower?

Nothing real memorable comes to mind. =P Guess I'll have to make some memories.

25 - When was the last time you showered?

This morning ("morning" defined as within two hours after I wake up).

26 - When are you going to take a shower next?

Tomorrow morning. Or at least before work. Stupid eight-hour night shift.

---

There, now you know more about me than you ever wished you had. =P

I got hacked. Possibly by someone insane.

A couple days ago, I got an invite on MSN to add this person to my list. Didn't know him, but I'm a friendly guy. Why not?

Last night, I talked to him. And not long after that, several people started giving me invites. Like, four or five. And three more when I got on this morning. One of them was this guy named "Darcia". Completely different personality from the other guy... but they didn't post their messages at the same time. And a lot of the other invites were from people from this "eimperial.org" domain. So I checked it out.

It's blank. No website at all.

From the evidence I have, my best guess is this is some script kiddie, who's either a compulsive liar or worse, insane. I'm betting he uses that website as a server for his multiple accounts, and either pretends or (and this is the scary part) actually believes that these are separate people. They could indeed be separate persons, but the coincidences are too many to make that likely.

To top it off, "they" believe that there's this "Empire of Elicia" where there are no laws, no democracy and no crime... a utopia. Apparently somewhere in South America. And get this: Christianity is outlawed there. Because it's cruel.

Christianity. Cruel.

Look, I know a lot of questionable and downright evil things were done in Christ's name, but if you look at the core of my faith, it's not cruel. It's about helping people into a relationship with God, getting them help and healing, and fighting off the attacks of the devil. Which I think is what happened to me. Had a crappy day yesterday, and this was like cyanide icing on top. Had me shaking in my bed because it just seemed so unfair.

In the end, I accused the kid of having multiple personalities and needing help. He flipped, accused Christianity of being the reason I was "being mean" (Darcia accused me of being brainwashed... pot, kettle much?) and shortly afterward I lost internet.

Don't worry, I'm fine. Had some malware, but I'm good now. And I'll have protection in case he tries this again. Not to mention "Darcia" has been reported to MSN. Let's see if the Empire of Elicia can compete with the Empire of Microsoft. I think I know which way I'm betting.

So, word to the wise, if you're contacted by Mezentius or someone with "eimperial.org" in their email, don't talk to them. Don't allow them onto your list, and check for malware if you do. This person is unstable and HATES Christianity. Only the devil could probably muster more venom. I wish I were kidding.

Consider yourselves warned.

I know you don't particularly like people talking about your "interests" in a negative fashion. Many of you would like to be able to enjoy it without someone trying to niggle at your conscience. I can understand that. I don't particularly like to be nagged either, and I don't react well to it. However, I feel I must say a few words to those of you who are still willing to listen.

Or rather... sing them...

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

*wipes the tears from his eyes*

You... be damn careful about your choices. Because let me tell ya, kids, you walk the road you pave with your choices. And pretty glass toys make for a painful road to walk.

Do what's right... and you will never regret it. 'Cause I know damn well that doing wrong... you always regret that in the end.

Make your choice. And for heaven's sake...

...choose wisely.