6th of January 2025

Once more around the sun. As the winter deepens and the new year is marked, developments are happening with regards to securing images to act as covers for submissions. I have received my avatar image and uploaded it.

All of the other three artists have submitted works in progress. It appears that most will be done very soon.

I have tested the submission system and now know how to use some of the html to make submissions easier to read. I don't imagine that many would want to download the .pdf.

The malaise has passed and I am excited to start posting work here.

A malaise. That's not supposed to happen.

Balls.

1st of January, 2025

It's looking as if the first character commission will be completed before the icon is. If that's the case, I'll have to do a intermediate icon image. When the first character commission is complete, I will post the first chapter. Then I hope to add a new chapter every week to two weeks. Right now, my goal is to average a new page every day, but life often has other plans. We'll see.

I find myself thinking of my parentage on long winter nights when the veil thins and fey magic surges.

Finvarra is often refered to as a king, but like all fey, their flesh is infinitely mutable. Finvarra loved to be whatever their flesh craved in the moment and nore often than not that craving was cruelty.

It is this trait for which I am able to sense the flood of fey magic on the solstice night but unable to use it.

Cernunnos, however, is a watcher. He is the eyes of nature - the deer-headed man. I have inherited his demeanor. But he does not speak, and so never told me of his coupling with Finvarra.

I find that it falls on me to share the stories I have seen, so that the burden of knowing, the burden that lays across on my father's ancient shoulders is lessened. I wonder, too, if a capricious mood took Finvarra one day and rather than cruelty they felt compassion. Did they sculpt my flesh to match my father's. Was I a gift? A burden?

When the nights are long, and my father's eyes burn blue and leave glowing trails between the trees and in doorways, I think of how those eyes burn with knowledge he can never share.

I wonder, too, do my own eyes burn? Is my own head a prison? After all, that is the only trait they two ever shared.

Saturday, December 21

I have only gotten a progress sketch from one of the artists I've commissioned. It looks fantastic. It has made me excited to post.

The artist has agreed to post to their socials the same time I post chapter 1 here. I hope it works out.

Speaking of hope, the other artists I have commissioned have been radio silent. It has me worried. I'm not an artist, so I have no idea about what is a reasonable timeline or what their queue is like, but I'm trying not to bother them at the same time wanting some kind of communication.

It kind of makes me feel that there is something to AI image generation, though I am loathe to admit it. As someone who has to sift through and identify AI in my professional life, I hate the use of AI for writing. It's obvious and insulting and lazy. But, then there is a part of me that thinks, "I could have just generated an image for free." Shouldn't I feel that the art generator AI is just as lazy and insulting? Perhaps it's just because drawing is a skill I don't have and don't understand.

The golden rule keeps me from using AI, but I can see the path that people walk to rationalize using it. Forgive the pun, but it really is a slippery slope.

In any case, my trouble now is trying to secure an Icon before posting the first chapter. If not, I'll have to come up with a temp.

Sunday, December 15th

I've secured another artist to make work for my thumbnails.

I'm not sure why I'm making these journals. I've never been the social media type. But something feels good about the journaling - tracking my progress towards this small goal is really nice.

One of the artists asked to see some of my work. That was nice, too. I hope they like it. I hope all of these artists I've commissioned enjoy the process of visualizing my characters. I'm anxious to see if they see what I see in my head.

Friday the 13th of December

I have commissioned three artists. One to make a profile image. Two are making character art based on description cards. I have secured permission from one artist to use these as thumbnails.

There is a third artist I am hoping to commission if the timing is right.

I've been excited to post the start of a story. I want people to read it. I don't know why people seeing it feels so important.

I have never been a creator. I've never made a thing that is special to others. I think that's what I want - to know that something I made stays with someone, moves them, makes them feel something. I'm no musician. Nor visual artist. But I think I can do this.

It is December 9th, 2024. I've made an account here. Blue Sky and Cara and Instagram are all image-only platforms, and that is part of the reason. I think maybe this might be the place for subject matter, too.

My next step is to find and commission two artists. One to create an Icon, the other to create the custom thumbnail for my first few submissions.

I hope to submit a new section every week once this is done. Maybe it will eventually reach an audience. Here's too hoping.