Hey everyone!

I have not been super active on here for a minute. I'll be honest, I've been having a rough go of it. I came home from AC quite sick and depressed, cold turned to bronchitis and it's been hard feeling better because every day it's either a million degrees out of the air is full of wildfire smoke. On top of that I got some difficult news that my mom might have cancer and I have NOT been taking it well.

I also had my top surgery consultation and found out I'll get to have it this year which is great! Except for the paying for it part. Even with insurance it's a lot of money that I have been trying to fund raise and sell art for and it's a bit demoralizing to be honest! Everyone is broke, everyone has a fundraiser going. Some days it feels like no one with money wants to help anyone who needs it, and everyone who would be willing to help is stuck in the same boat. And of course the government just straight up wants me dead at this point. All of us. I, and a lot of other trans people in the United States, the UK, have a lot of dreams that feel like they have to be put on hold, maybe forever, because it's becoming a battle just to exist as we are in our countries.

So all in all it's been hard to just function on a daily basis, let alone make fun pictures. But I'm still here, I'm still around. I have a lot of things I started that I'm slowly working on. Until then I would like to share some links to where I'm fundraising right now, if anyone is willing and able to help me out.

My Gofundme
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-ari.....-government-bs

My physical store with books, prints, some original work
https://toxicmetalexpo.bigcartel.com/products

My instagram account where I am posting a LOT of old art for sale, click the highlight "Story Sale" to see it all
https://www.instagram.com/toxicmetalexpo/

Some of the stuff in the story sale will eventually make it to my store but for now it's so much that I'm holding off a bit on doing that. DM me here or on instagram if there's something you're interested in.

I'm getting fucked over at work (most likely because I reported abusive behavior I witnessed at a job site) so I'm not getting a lot of hours and when I am offered them they're very short shifts far away from me. I'm a temp worker so my employment is precarious when things are going well, and I don't have a lot of the protections that workers with permanent positions have.

Money is tight right now and I'm trying to fill the gap with some commissions. I have two posts with some price ranges/samples

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59689011/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60373604/

I would really like to do some larger, mixed media commissions. They're what I'm most interested in right now so you'll probably get the most bang for your buck with one of those. I'm also available for album art, posters, merch designs, book/publication design. I also own a risograph printer (1 color right now) and offer printing and bookmaking services, so if you have a comic you need printed I've got you.

You can also tip me on ko-fi if you want to help out but don't have commission money (I totally get that shit man the economy is fucked rn) https://ko-fi.com/toxicmetalexpo

Seeing other people post about music is inspiring me. I also like seeing people posting more journals since we can't post art, it's nice! I really like listening to full albums, so here's some of what's been in my rotation lately

I have been listening thru my favorite run of Depeche Mode's Discography:
Black Celebration
Music For The Masses
Violator
Songs Of Faith And Devotion (this is actually in the queue right now)

Standout tracks on these listens are "A Question of Lust" I love any song sung by Martin, he has such a beautiful voice that is usually supporting Dave Gahan's but is so lovely on its own. "Stripped" "Never Let Me Down Again" and "Strangelove" are of course all time favs, "World In My eyes" "Halo"

I've also been having a bit of a Prince moment, listening to Controversy and Under The Cherry Moon. I mean it's Prince so it's all great. Controversy, Jack U Off, and of course Kiss all being favs.

And now maybe an odd one: The Soundtrack to O Brother Where Art Thou. My parents love this movie and I saw it many times growing up. I've got a soft spot for American Country/Traditional Spiritual music despite being raised atheist. "Po Lazarus" and "Down to the River to Pray" were stuck in my head for nearly a week "Didn't Leave Nobody but the Baby" and "The Big Rock Candy Mountain" are also favs

I'd love to hear what everyone's been listening to.

I'll also be at FWA this weekend, I hope to see some of you there! If you're going and would want to meet up feel free to DM me if you want me discord/telegram!

Since we're read only for a minute here's the other spots I post my art

My SFW(ish) blusky
https://bsky.app/profile/toxicmetal.....po.bsky.social

my NSFW blusky
https://bsky.app/profile/wozsdungeon.bsky.social

Tumblr
https://toxicmetalexpo.tumblr.com/

Personal websites
https://toxicmetalexpo.neocities.org/
https://wozsdungeon.neocities.org/

My shops
https://toxicmetalexpo.bigcartel.com/
https://wozsdungeon.bigcartel.com/
https://toxicmetalexpo.itch.io/

I'm going to be posting some original art for sale in my store. Most recently I've put up the originals from my comic "Night Walk" from Catgirl Melange #4. I also have prints and comics available!

https://toxicmetalexpo.bigcartel.co.....al-comic-pages

I also have a store for my more explicit work

https://wozsdungeon.bigcartel.com/

i fuck with it they should give us the option to make it look like this forever.

I've made an online store with some of my work that is to NSFW to go in my main store where my family can see and shit. Right now I have a new book of fetish comics and my piece posted here, "Mouth" I also have commission rates for character illustrations posted in my gallery!

I will likely post more originals at some point.

https://wozsdungeon.bigcartel.com/

Lately I have been reflecting on my relationship with my body and my self image, and how participating in the furry fandom has impacted it. I've been very self conscious about my body, ever since I started hitting puberty basically. I went from a tall lanky kid to tall, broad, and developing very quickly in a way that gave me a lot of unwanted adult male attention. On top of feeling dysphoric, and not even having a word for that feeling, I was getting made fun of by my peers for suddenly getting "fat."
I have a vivid memory of one of the kinda weird kids I would hang out with asking me at the lunchroom once "Why are you fat? Your mom isn't fat, so why are you fat?" Which of course wasn't even correct, my mom has the same type of figure I do, the same type of figure that all the "women" in my family have. It was also just so fucking mean, and probably the first time someone was so direct to me about my size. This is around the time doctors got up my ass about my weight too.
As an adult, I'm still big. Not just "fat" but BIG. Tall, broad shoulders, broad hips, strong arms and legs. Even if I dropped the 70-100 pounds some doctors claim I would need to in order to be a "healthy" BMI I would still be large in stature, and honestly I'd probably look kind of strange without anything to fill out that frame.
And as for how furry all ties into this? Well I've only recently started engaging in the fandom in a wholehearted, sincere way, but I've been around it for a long time. Many college friends of mine were unabashedly furry (still are) and that was when I was introduced to the concept of fat furs. And I'll be so honest it made me really uncomfortable at first! When you spend your entire life being fed messages about how being fat is bad and ugly, being made fun of for being fat, it's hard to see fat fur art and not immediately take it as being mocking without doing some serious internal work.
Eventually I came around, but I still felt a bit weird, uncomfortable with that aspect of furry art in a way I couldn't quite pinpoint. A very subtle shift in the nature of the same. The thing is, when it comes to other people, I don't find fat people unattractive. In fact I find the body type I had pre-T to be INCREDIBLY attractive on women.
But it was really hard to give myself that sort of love. I would draw a lot of my catgirls based on my figure, but slimmed down. I've always used myself as a reference in my art, but mostly to get the posing right. I have been very fortunate to get a lot of support online for my work, and I've had many trans women online and in person tell me that the body type I give my catgirls is the goal they have for themselves in transition. That was really where things started to turn in my view of myself. Like damn you wanna look like me? That's crazy. Totally counter to the messaging society has given me my entire life.
In the last year or so a lot of things have happened to me. I started taking Testosterone again (I did for a while in college but struggled with the weight gain and hair loss and stopped), I've been to more furry conventions, and I've developed a lovely group of furry friends that I talk to regularly, some every day, and I started thinking of my art less as a product I'm trying to make a living off of, and more as something to entertain myself and my friends. And guess what? My friends love a fat guy. And I love a fat guy!
I've also been doing some more studying of figure drawing, reading some of the Morpho books, particularly the Fat and Skin Folds volume. And somewhere in there something clicked. I've always enjoyed drawing a curvaceous form (I even got into beef with my college figure drawing professor over a lack of fat models in class and in our online resources) and I was gaining the skills to draw them even better. I've been drawing much more based on my actual body, and not the idealized version I'd been going off of. Using direct photo reference for a lot of my recent drawings. And it's great! My friends love it! People online love it! I drew a picture of basically myself, and people are going crazy for it! Holy shit!
It's been a wonderfully strange feeling really understanding that my body can be the object of someone's desire, something that people actually find really attractive. It took a lot of work to be okay that. It's totally shifted my view of myself, my attractiveness, my worthiness of love and affection. It truly lifts a weight from my shoulders that I've been carrying probably since I was 12, well over half my life.

Anyway, that is probably enough writing for today. Thank you if you read through all of that, and thank you if you've been enjoying my art!

TLDR; Furries made me love being a fat guy! Epic!

Hey all, I'm opening up some slots for commissions to save up for some cons I'm traveling for this year. Check out my gallery for examples of each type. I'm available for NSFW or SFW works. I accept payment through paypal and venmo. Contact toxicmetalpress[at]gmail.com or bartsimpski on Telegram.

Sketchpages $75 for an 8.5"x11" for a sketchpage of the character(s) of your choice

Monotypes $100+ for a 8.5"x11" monotype print, can be multiple layers/characters.

Painting/Mixed media pieces $200+ physical artwork with whatever materials I have available to me including but not limited to paint, conté crayon, colored pencil, marker, collage, ink. Final piece will be mailed to you.

Comics Prices depending on the scope of the project, but keep these on the shorter side, think something like my short 4 page comics.

I just secured my panels in the MFF art show. I'll be hanging my latest painting, some risograph prints aaaaaaaand a very sexy drawing that I have not shared here. Hopefully at least one more painting too... So if you're going keep an eye out for my stuff.

Hey all, just added my commission info. Just some basic stuff right now, if you're interested in commissioning a full scene with an environment/text elements, or a comic please contact me privately to get a quote for that. I have not been working consistently due to leaving a really abusive work situation and doing some part time stuff to get by. I have another job but it will take a bit for me to be earning good money from it so now is a great time to commission me. Also I'm not sure how to get images attached to my commission listings? So if anyone could explain that to me that would be epic.

Wow wow wow you guys Anthrocon was amazing. My first time there, second ever furry con, and first time traveling for one and being totally immersed in the environment. Such a healing transcendental experience. I met so many lovely kind people last week, made some great art, had some amazing times. I love you furries <3

What's up everyone. I'm gonna be at Anthrocon. It's so soon!!! I'm very excited but as always I wish I had some more money going into the con. I posted a bunch of my prints on my store for sale, and I have a discount code to get free shipping if you order one (or more than $45 of stuff) with the code FREE4FURRIES. So if you like my work and want some for yourself please buy some so I can get a new harness next weekend :)

https://toxicmetalexpo.bigcartel.co.....ategory/prints

Hey everyone, I've been on here for a few weeks now so I figured I'd make a journal saying hello. I'm Trent or Woz or Ari, some of you probably recognize my work from other places. I'm a cartoonist, printmaker, book maker, painter, drag king, etc. . . I haven't been engaged in the furry fandom for very long but I've always been around it. I've got catgirl drawings going back to when I was 10 so it was just a matter of time.

I'm not super big on doing commissions, but I do have a store of my physical artwork (comics books zines prints some originals) https://toxicmetalexpo.bigcartel.com/

I also have a store for digital downloads of a lot of my work https://toxicmetalexpo.itch.io/

Anyway I am having a lovely time on here with all of you, cannot wait to go to Anthrocon in a few weeks!