i've wanted to leave skype ever since it existed as a thing tbh

telegram has the potential to be really good it just can't turn into another google plus, ie, everyone's too lazy to move over to a new service because the one we have now is fine

so yeah if you wanna add me lemme know???

what am i even supposed to do with this anyway
i heard asking for followers was a thing
https://twitter.com/melfryyy

lol

(if you're reading this we're probably pals though and this doesn't refer to you
#notallfurries, etc)

i left for a while because i didn't really want to support the administration here
but then i realized that this is the biggest furry art site out there and leaving would severely limit my audience which is a bad move
so i guess i just gotta take it
we'll see how long it lasts before i start feeling like a hypocrite and leave again

but i didn't draw anything this year oops

also alas my profile no longer reads "journals: 69"

p.s. i'm actually really really upset with this like what is wrong with me i'm an art major i want to do this for a living what kind of person can't find a job or an internship over the summer and literally does nothing in the three months they have free with no other obligations
what the fuck am i doing
ok i've recognized the problem how do i make a change please help me i'm very distraught

just favorited my last drawing thinking it was gay femboy sex or whatever

more like shameless promotion for dragoneer's personal ass-kisser week amirite

i really really want to buy that hardblush boystown thing but
a. i would be giving money to onta
b. i would have to live with the fact that i spent $35 on furry porn
c. i would have to figure out where and how to hide the fact that i not only own, but spent $35 on, furry porn
i really do like the whole college student theme thing and a lot of my favorite artists are on hardblush and i love comics and owning tangible objects of things i like but like,,,,,,,,

want to write some cutesy, brutally honest, kind of depressing lyrics paired with ironically upbeat indie pop/rock

i've been trying to write song lyrics for like five ears and i physically cannot?? do it??? like i really don't get it at all i don't know what's wrong it's just that every single time i try and put pen to paper or whatever i just completely freeze up and i can't get anything out of it

it's not that i don't have anything to say, or maybe it is, i mean i have a few ideas floating around but i don't have a lot either so i mean...

help

instead i'm just friends with single people and no one knows each other

and they're all in their own friend circles and do cute things for each others' birthdays together and comment on each others' stuff

why is that so hard

is the reason why people think that electronic music is composed by pushing a button that says "make music"

stop it

i just thought i'd tell you all that the lyrics to "february" are literally just me crooning "sweet bro and hella jeff" over and over with heavy reverb

you're welcome

comes from being just a mediocre artist

like i'm not stupid i can't say i haven't gotten better at all over the years but it's just like

too little too late

i know i've gotten better and i know i'm better than a lot of people

but like

the worst feeling in the world is being a mediocre artist

because all of your friends who don't draw and aren't into the arts think you're great

and yeah, you're decent

but you've seen what greatness really is

and it's definitely not you

fuck man i'm not even good enough for my non-artist friends to think i'm great

let alone my friends who are trying to get into the field with me

like what am i trying to accomplish here

is realising that i'm bad at everything i want to do and i'm going to be stuck working fast food for the rest of my life because there's nothing else i want to do with my life and i don't have any other skills

the hardest part of all this is realising that i'm bad at everything i'm good at

i'm just wasting my goddamn time

how do i do that
my hands won't let me

like my falsetto has gotten so much better

wow is this like

what self-confidence feels like???

how the fuck is it the most popular game in the world

aw man c'mon why you gotta be a tease like that

i'm still offering commissions too!
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4255118/

so i've been toying with the idea of taking commissions for the longest time now, and now that one of my favorite record labels has put out a really gorgeous clear, square, hand lathe-cut version of one of their latest releases in an edition of 18, i figured raising money for that would be a good incentive. sure, it's no important operation or medication for my pet, but it would still mean a whole lot to me if you wanted to help meowt.

here's the deal--i'll have five slots available; that includes people who might want to buy more than one thing from me. after that, i'm afraid you'll have to wait until i decide to start doing this again--i'm just trying to get a feel for things, after all, and i'd rather not get overwhelmed!

best part--since all of these will be traditional pieces, i'm able to mail you an original piece of artwork to hang on your wall or whatever else you can think of with it! all prices include $2 for shipping--if for whatever you reason you don't want to receive the original piece and opt for solely a digital copy, i'll reduce the price accordingly!

pigment pen drawing w/crosshatching + black and gray india ink $7
add background +$5
add extra character +$3
add color (copic marker) +$1
adult content (i.e. sex; plain ol' nudity does not incur this charge) +$3

"a day with harper and quinn" - exactly what it says on the tin. i'll draw your character(s) with harper and quinn doing anything within reason! this will be a 9x6 pigment pen drawing with full colors in copic marker, along with a background, if so desired. thanks to my friend june for this idea. $15 (adult content and extra character charge applies to this as well, should you want that sorta thing)

obviously i’m much more comfortable drawing anthro characters, and these prices are tailored more towards that as a result, but i’m more than happy to give pretty much anything else a shot as well, so don’t hesitate to ask about that!

right off the top of my head i'm not a huge fan of gore and other such violent things--rape also comes to mind, so please don't ask for anything like that! other than that, just ask me--i'll do my best to accommodate but i do reserve the right to refuse certain requests if i feel like i can't fully realize what you're looking for.

as far as payment goes: i can only take paypal at this time. sorry if that inconveniences you!

so yeah! thanks for looking and supporting me and stuff :3 if you're interested, please send me a note telling what exactly you're looking for, and we'll work out stuff like payment afterwards.

slots:

1. June
2.
3.
4.
5.

but likes to go to the sidewalk and do sketches of the people in the street



high
low

(if you don't want to sit through 21 minutes of music (you should but i understand why you wouldn't) just skip to 2:35 because that's my favourite part rn)

literally every teenage guy in a pop punk band is a singer

like i've actually never met a single guy who hasn't said "oh yeah i do vocals" after i ask them what they play in their pop punk band

i mean obviously there are teenage guys out there that play other instruments otherwise high school pop punk bands wouldn't exist but i've actually never met them ever in my entire life

wow everyone gets like so much shit on christmas compared to me

whatever i mostly like giving people gifts anyway :3c

merry christmas/happy holidays/etc everyone! i love this time of year even though this year it kinda just felt really weird. i guess i'm getting old or something, i dunno.

LOOT??

$350 (including $150 from my parents--the same people who didn't want to buy me a 3DS for christmas? i really don't get these people but oh well i won't complain.. probably gonna end up going towards textbooks though which is a little depressing but OH WELL)
$25 iTunes giftcard (i don't use iTunes though and i still have like $20 left from when i bought my macbook last year but hey! lotsa cool music and art apps out there)
$20 nintendo eshop giftcard (already spent it on boxlife, aquia, and rytmik yeaaaaa)
some candy i guess

but also beck's song reader

i'm simultaneously really fucking pumped about that and really depressed because like wow how cool is song reader let's be real i can't wait to start playing around with it but then at the same time wow i'm such a horrible musician i can't read music for shit anymore and i don't think i was ever really that good at it to begin with anyway idk

pleasepleasepleaseplease