I'm trying to be more social, I really am. I've been getting more comfy with myself, which is why my sona is a mtf transgirl. It matches me as that's where I'm at as well irl. So I joined a new server and it was going pretty well. Chatting it up and made a few friends. Then tonight someone see's my ref and says "Ew. It has a dick". I was then subsequently called 'futa' and 'he' by different members and now I just feel shitty. I'm honestly thinking about spending money I don't have just to have my ref reworked to have a vagina instead of a penis just so I can avoid this sort of behavior.

Ugh.... Have been having a pretty crappy week and tonight was the horrible capstone to it that I did not want nor need. Have you ever just wanted to burn everything down and purge? Set fire to your sona, social circles, etc.

-sighs-

I know I'm being extreme, but life has been kicking my ass thoroughly and I need to at least vent lest I explode. Short journal, but that's whats going on. Hope everyone is having a better week than me.

Heyo, lovely people! I've never been good at these journal thingies, but I want to start recording my thoughts and experiences. This week has been a rather rough but still interesting one. I've met some new friends, lost a job, got hired at a new one, been both very happy and depressed at different times, and started a new chapter in my religious journey.

After talking to some fantastic people, I've made the jump from Wicca to Satanism. It may seem weird, but it's been something that's been tugging at me since I came across the Satanic Bible in a book store as a middle schooler. I was too scared then to follow that tug but over the course of many years I've been slowly but surely undoing the incredibly damaging indoctrination and programming that my Christian parents put me through.

With that said, I'm far from perfect and have lots of work to do on myself. The important thing is that I'm happier now than I have been for most of my adult life. I'm going to continue working on myself mentally while doing my best to get into shape physically.

That's about all I have for now. Thank you so much for reading through my ramblings~

-Riley