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General | Posted 2 years agoNot really too much to say, just wanna apologize for my lack of activity...basically everywhere lately.
Been dealing with my own forms of anxiety and paranoia since this year started. Trying to get over those intrusive thoughts.
Sorry for not posting anything here in so long.
Been dealing with my own forms of anxiety and paranoia since this year started. Trying to get over those intrusive thoughts.
Sorry for not posting anything here in so long.
2024
General | Posted 2 years agoHappy New Year!
Here's hoping this year is a much better year than 2023. Let's make it a Good One!
~Twitter Raffle~
General | Posted 2 years agoI am Hosting a Twitter Raffle!
In celebration of reaching 10K on Twitter before the site possibly dies I wanted to host one final raffle! I have done so before in the past but this will be my last raffle for Twitter. Thought I would announce it here too! Thank you everyone who has supported me for so long!
~Twitter Raffle Here~
~Wanna let y'all know that Psina is AWESOME Check them ou...
General | Posted 2 years agoHey guys, I feel this is overdue, but I feel you should check out an artist that I love very much and deserves so much more love!
The Beautiful Artist: 
Psina2.!
Psina2.Their name is Psina2! They have been making beautiful art since Day 1, and they recently drew Cherry and Dorian together and I was blown away with what they did! Please go check them out! They are very proficient at their work, you'd love to see them draw characters of your very own! Trust me, you won't regret look at their page if you like the stuff already on this page. Lots of BIG and SQUISHY! You'll love it!
💛🧡💖HD Version💖🧡💛
You'll love it, I promise you that!
JUNE Life Update (nothing too important)
General | Posted 2 years agoThank you to everybody who is a watcher of mine that is reading this. If you do not watch me, you probably won't get most of the context for what's below.
This year is almost half way over. A lot has happened to me since this year started and unfortunately it did not start off very well, in fact I think that is the understatement of the century.
I won't go into heavy specifics but I reached the lowest point in my life in January where I couldn't take the stress of....well basically everything anymore, and thankfully I have parents that helped me get the help I needed. I am very lucky to have my parents, especially my mom, because if it weren't for her, I probably wouldn't be here writing this or still doing the art I make. It's been extremely hard finding motivation in a lot of various activities I usually loved, especially art and a lot of video games....which admittedly are my main two interests, idk if that is bad or not.
The help I got when my mental issues arose was overall good for me. It helped me reflect on a lot I had going on, I got diagnosed properly with conditions that my medical providers refused to give me until I reached a critical point in my life. Admittedly that's kinda how it is with my medical provider, therapists and psychiatrists would either just throw a drug at me and say "try it see you in four months", or they would conveniently call in and reschedule me for later like I can just deal with it no biggy or anything. The constant therapies I have attended from January to around the end of March has helped me but that does not mean they "cured my depression" or what have you, those are always going to be there and unfortunately that is what I have to live life with, but that doesn't mean all hope is lost by any means, as long as I am medicated and am able to get a consistent treatment schedule for mental health (seeing a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist), I should be okay overall.
I have been lucky enough to have the friends and family I have, and of course my following that has been nothing but supportive to me. I know that I am just a grown-up nerd in his mid-twenties drawing big.....u-uh.....highly proportioned characters, but my life has changed tremendously because of the furry community. I won't try to say something like "the furry fandom saved my life owo" or anything, but I will say that there has been times where I have been down, and you know what's been there for me? You guys, my friends, my family (sorta, I have a hard time opening up to them usually even if they are open with me). Maybe it is weird of me to say but seeing Dorian and Cherry and...hell, folks like Lance, Era, Miss L, characters that are my friends' OCs/Sonas/Characters, it always makes me happy seeing what they do with others, even if it admittedly is more on the lewd-ish side of things, just seeing my friends happy makes me happy, and seeing them share that happiness with me is something that I genuinely am a very lucky person to have in my life. I really cannot thank you all enough for the support you've given me over the FIVE YEARS I have been in this community, almost Five and a Half now (Furaffinity was the first site I joined and posted "furry art" on, and that started in January 2018).
The furry art scene of all things is something I never expected to love as much as I do today. When I first started college, I wanted to be an 2D animator/illustrator of some kind in the major field of visual arts / entertainment industry, and I would do Furry art as a side thing. Throughout the years, I learned much more of the environment of studios and how they often operate, especially with studios run by Disney/Pixar, Blizzard, Illumination, Activision, etc., and.....my main goal changed as a 2D animator for a company like that completely dropped, and my furry art, the place that I know brings me happiness most, and I can draw the art that makes both me and others happy (most of the time, I know hyper stuff isn't for everybody), it is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't know how I'd be able to do it entirely just yet but I want to be able to get myself on a skill level that would allow me to live that dream. I am fortunate enough to have people who commission me and look to my art and ask me in FA notes or Twitter DMs or Discord DMs, I truly am grateful, and....unfortunately I do have to say "I am not open atm" with an apology since I don't want to overwork myself with a huge list, but I do my best to get to everybody, but this year especially....well I wrote a lot already, you probably know where this is going.
This whole journal is long enough as is, but to sum the rest of this up I suppose, I am very grateful that y'all have been here for me. Y'all have helped me get back on my feet little by little, and even though I am very far from perfect even right now, I appreciate you guys still keeping me by your side, even on the times I have often secluded myself out of anxious thoughts hitting me (which happen often). If you see me on Discord, I am usually offline or on Do-Not-Disturb mode. Truth be told, I am usually on Discord, or at least able to reply, but I get very anxious when messaging people at times, so it is not a diss on you or anyone if I do not reply immediately, I just get anxious since I am a bit of a socially awkward person. *ahem* ANYWAY! Thank you all again for supporting me through this very rough year. There's been quite a lot of mental battles I've faced this year, and you all are still here. That is something I am very lucky to have. Thank you for supporting me. I mean every word of this.
~My Twitter is Back
General | Posted 2 years agoI got my Twitter Account Back (for the most part, will update this journal later possibly)!
I think Twitter actually answered our prayers (at least for more people) and is getting to fixing that bug that I mentioned here earlier in a previous journal. My account is back up but as of right now, the likes aren't working for some reason but I feel that that will be fixed soon enough. I am hoping more people have their accounts fixed from this bug aside from myself. This did scare me I will admit so here is hoping that things get fixed soon enough for more people.
🥛🦎
~My Twitter Got Suspended, along with Many Others
General | Posted 2 years agoMy Twitter Got Suspended!
This is a bug that is going around Twitter lately with folks who are "evading suspension". So....this sucks. Thankfully I have supporters who would keep my lights on anyway regardless of Twitter on both here and Discord. I do sincerely hope that FA is okay at the end of the day. With FA having it's problems regarding the uploading policies, but still, this is kind of a low blow. Hoping things will be okay.
~Making Something Clear About My Art
General | Posted 2 years agoIn Short:
As you've all seen by now, Furaffinity just announced some updates to their Upload Policy, specifically in regards to Minors depicted in art that is NSFW. I feel I should address something.
I DO NOT CONDONE DRAWING MINORS IN ART IN FOR ANY REASON REGARDING NSFW CONTENT BEING THE SUBJECT MATTER, and I feel I need to address this due to my own art possibly being depicted as such because of Dorian's small height of 3'8"ft tall.
As most of the folks that watch my art know, Dorian is 20 years old and is fully able to consent with anybody of age, and is often around a lot of bigger female characters, most being over twice his size, but that is just size difference, and it's what I enjoy, along with the motherly vibe you'd get from the bigger female characters Dorian is often around, or other characters you've probably seen all over Furaffinity.
Why am I saying this?
I want to address that I do not draw children unless it is STRICTLY in a SFW situation and that was only two times for a friend's memorial of their mother.
My art from a far glance can sometimes be interpreted as something involving a child because of Dorian's smaller size and how my style can be seen as pretty cartoony, which are both fair observations, but I want to make it clear that that is not the case, I don't draw kids and I never will support anybody who does in NSFW situations.
There is lewd art in my gallery and I feel that it is best to address this before it gets any later. I also sent Furaffinity Staff a Ticket (direct message) through their Staff Support System so I anticipate hopefully hearing from someone soon.
I believe I should be fine in the long run since I make it clear on the images I draw Dorian is an adult when needed to. On most, I don't think I have to because it's obvious he isn't, but some I do have to because of the extreme size difference.
Main Point is:
I never had any issues with Furaffinity and I feel at home on this site despite the few hiccups that have happened along the way (let's be real, no site is perfect, and that is okay).
I love using this site as my safe space for my art gallery to keep growing, and I wish nothing but the best for it, but I do want to make it known that despite the size difference art in my gallery, EVERY CHARACTER IS AN ADULT.
Just want to make that clear. Thank you all for reading this all the way through. I hope to keep enjoying this site with all of you for years on end.
Another Personal Update (How things are going so far.)
General | Posted 2 years agoIt’s been a while since I’ve written anything personal here.
Usually I am a lot more personal about certain things on a regular basis on discord and maybe a couple times on Twitter when it’s needed (or if I feel unwell in the head with my decisions) but I feel that I should say something here on Furaffinity after a decent while of me not really being informative on my circumstance. Of course this is a journal basically about myself so please only read if you want to, this isn’t really anything important in regards to my art or anything, it’s more so a life update I suppose.
How’s Life Going?
Life’s been doing a bit better since the last time I’ve written here. Of course it might be easier to say that now that time has passed from certain events, at least most of the time, and I will say that things have improved. They are not perfect by a long shot but they have improved. My main concern was my mental health which is what I’ll mainly delve into here.
For starters, I’ve been in outpatient therapy since the beginning of February, and my last day was around the end of March, and since I’ve been out of the 5-day a week program of mental health therapy for “self life-threatening circumstances”, I’ve definitely felt better about those thoughts I’d have for over a decade (I’m 24 now, had them off and on since I was 13). I’d been better about my coping skills with various challenges like conflicts, stressors, internal battles, etc. It’s not perfect and I feel it realistically never will be but I’m doing my best to get better with coping. Now that I don’t have this therapy, I’m currently still seeking personal 1-on-1 therapy, which is surprisingly harder than I ever expected but I’m sure I’ll find someone soon enough, at least I got a good psychologist now and am getting answers and good meds from him so that’s a plus too.
Now that I’m out of therapy though, admittedly I’ve…kinda been doing nothing special. I still have many days where I feel super demotivated and truly have no will to do the things I like, but it often comes and goes. This month has two birthdays of friends of mine, and shockingly I did their birthday gifts in a day each, which never happens for me because usually my art takes a few days per picture (at least in regards to my shaded stuff and things with more than one character….I know I’m slow). I was proud of those times but then there are times where I just sit in front of my drawing tablet and can’t draw anything because I….just can’t for some reason. I often resort to video games or sleeping, which has also hurt my social life too since, if you’ve known me on discord, I am barely active on the servers I am in. It’s nothing against any of y’all, I just am an anxious person. I’ll be friendly of course, I am just anxious.
My motivation can change from 0 to 60 in the span of a second sometimes, and I wish I knew why. It’s a big reason why I am still not open for commissions, which I’ll talk about here too. It’s a combination of things but I feel I should elaborate on that.
Why are you taking so long to open commissions?
Nobody’s asked me that way but this is pretty much my own internal conflict.
Lemme just Start out by saying I’m very appreciative of everyone who has and still is supporting me and my art that I make. I’m a very lucky person to have a lot of your guys’ support, it’s hard to say this without sounding possibly egotistical but thank you for following me and enjoying my art.
Now as for commissions. There are a few reasons I haven’t opened for a while, mainly since November of last year.
1. I still have commissions I scheduled to do in January, and they were given to folks back in November.
I didn’t accept any new comms since November (from what I recall) and I knew January was going to be a tough month since I have Commissions and School to prepare for (the upcoming spring semester). As you may know already, January was the time my mental state snapped and I almost did something irreversible to myself, and although I finished some comms I had January’s queue, which crept into February due to time constraints, I put my commissions on hold until further notice, because I was going through some serious mental issues and still sorta am right now. I am very grateful for everyone’s patience from the people who commissioned me and are waiting. Thank you.
2. I feel it would be wrong of me to accept commissions or trades while I still owe people, even if they haven’t paid me yet.
This is probably my anxiety getting the best of me more so here, but I’d feel guilty if I did a commission or trade with someone else before I already agreed on doing a project for someone else that I owe. I feel secure doing projects that would be simple and self-healing or birthday gifts on occasion, but I cannot accept more projects for more people to owe while I still owe people as is, I’m very sorry about that.
3. I still don’t feel too motivated in myself yet.
I stopped commissioned to give myself a small break, and truth be told I feel I’m just not ready for them yet either. I need to do better with my confidence and how I can do work when I set my mind to it, because I know I can, but I need to feel more secure with my mental state first. Again, I’m very grateful everybody that is in my waitlist is understanding but still, I apologize for making you all wait. I’m just happy none of you paid me yet because with my commissions, you don’t pay me until it is your turn in line.
Overall…
Circumstances are improving for me, they are not perfect, but they’re improving. I’m still doing my best to get my college situation dealt with because that’s a whole different can of worms, along with the various testing I need to go through for my mental complications that I’ve neglected for a long time now, and I’m just awaiting for the time I have to come closer to when I’ll finally get those results and answers I need. I’m doing the best I can, which I guess in some situations is all I can really do, but hopefully things just improve from here.
Another Personal Update (How things are going so far.)
General | Posted 2 years agoIt’s been a while since I’ve written anything personal here.
Usually I am a lot more personal about certain things on a regular basis on discord and maybe a couple times on Twitter when it’s needed (or if I feel unwell in the head with my decisions) but I feel that I should say something here on Furaffinity after a decent while of me not really being informative on my circumstance. Of course this is a journal basically about myself so please only read if you want to, this isn’t really anything important in regards to my art or anything, it’s more so a life update I suppose.
How’s Life Going?
Life’s been doing a bit better since the last time I’ve written here. Of course it might be easier to say that now that time has passed from certain events, at least most of the time, and I will say that things have improved. They are not perfect by a long shot but they have improved. My main concern was my mental health which is what I’ll mainly delve into here.
For starters, I’ve been in outpatient therapy since the beginning of February, and my last day was around the end of March, and since I’ve been out of the 5-day a week program of mental health therapy for “self life-threatening circumstances”, I’ve definitely felt better about those thoughts I’d have for over a decade (I’m 24 now, had them off and on since I was 13). I’d been better about my coping skills with various challenges like conflicts, stressors, internal battles, etc. It’s not perfect and I feel it realistically never will be but I’m doing my best to get better with coping. Now that I don’t have this therapy, I’m currently still seeking personal 1-on-1 therapy, which is surprisingly harder than I ever expected but I’m sure I’ll find someone soon enough, at least I got a good psychologist now and am getting answers and good meds from him so that’s a plus too.
Now that I’m out of therapy though, admittedly I’ve…kinda been doing nothing special. I still have many days where I feel super demotivated and truly have no will to do the things I like, but it often comes and goes. This month has two birthdays of friends of mine, and shockingly I did their birthday gifts in a day each, which never happens for me because usually my art takes a few days per picture (at least in regards to my shaded stuff and things with more than one character….I know I’m slow). I was proud of those times but then there are times where I just sit in front of my drawing tablet and can’t draw anything because I….just can’t for some reason. I often resort to video games or sleeping, which has also hurt my social life too since, if you’ve known me on discord, I am barely active on the servers I am in. It’s nothing against any of y’all, I just am an anxious person. I’ll be friendly of course, I am just anxious.
My motivation can change from 0 to 60 in the span of a second sometimes, and I wish I knew why. It’s a big reason why I am still not open for commissions, which I’ll talk about here too. It’s a combination of things but I feel I should elaborate on that.
Why are you taking so long to open commissions?
Nobody’s asked me that way but this is pretty much my own internal conflict.
Lemme just Start out by saying I’m very appreciative of everyone who has and still is supporting me and my art that I make. I’m a very lucky person to have a lot of your guys’ support, it’s hard to say this without sounding possibly egotistical but thank you for following me and enjoying my art.
Now as for commissions. There are a few reasons I haven’t opened for a while, mainly since November of last year.
1. I still have commissions I scheduled to do in January, and they were given to folks back in November.
I didn’t accept any new comms since November (from what I recall) and I knew January was going to be a tough month since I have Commissions and School to prepare for (the upcoming spring semester). As you may know already, January was the time my mental state snapped and I almost did something irreversible to myself, and although I finished some comms I had January’s queue, which crept into February due to time constraints, I put my commissions on hold until further notice, because I was going through some serious mental issues and still sorta am right now. I am very grateful for everyone’s patience from the people who commissioned me and are waiting. Thank you.
2. I feel it would be wrong of me to accept commissions or trades while I still owe people, even if they haven’t paid me yet.
This is probably my anxiety getting the best of me more so here, but I’d feel guilty if I did a commission or trade with someone else before I already agreed on doing a project for someone else that I owe. I feel secure doing projects that would be simple and self-healing or birthday gifts on occasion, but I cannot accept more projects for more people to owe while I still owe people as is, I’m very sorry about that.
3. I still don’t feel too motivated in myself yet.
I stopped commissioned to give myself a small break, and truth be told I feel I’m just not ready for them yet either. I need to do better with my confidence and how I can do work when I set my mind to it, because I know I can, but I need to feel more secure with my mental state first. Again, I’m very grateful everybody that is in my waitlist is understanding but still, I apologize for making you all wait. I’m just happy none of you paid me yet because with my commissions, you don’t pay me until it is your turn in line.
Overall…
Circumstances are improving for me, they are not perfect, but they’re improving. I’m still doing my best to get my college situation dealt with because that’s a whole different can of worms, along with the various testing I need to go through for my mental complications that I’ve neglected for a long time now, and I’m just awaiting for the time I have to come closer to when I’ll finally get those results and answers I need. I’m doing the best I can, which I guess in some situations is all I can really do, but hopefully things just improve from here.
(Personal Update) Getting Better with Time
General | Posted 3 years agoI feel like I should leave a bit of a monthly update on things that have been going on with me over the past couple months (March barely even started so far) and thankfully things have gotten better since this month has begun.
I appreciate everyone who gave me support throughout this whole process of me being mentally unable to get through certain challenges I was facing. I hope to be able to word things as best as I can without getting into too much graphic detail and possibly raising any eyebrows too high.
~CONTEXT~
This past January are you might know was most certainly the darkest time in my life. I was working on art with practically all my time, I was stressed about my next semester in college starting, my friends was going through a few issues of their own that I had the need to comfort them with in regards to drama/family/financial issues/etc, I secluded myself to an unhealthy degree unless it were for folks I was working for or discord groups they were in where I can work on their art with them there if I could, my personal health was dwindling (I wasn't sleeping, I was overeating to keep myself awake at points, I neglected personal hygiene, etc.), and it eventually led to me reaching a breaking point that has built up in me for over a decade (these "lifelong irreversible" thoughts were there since I was 13).
I've already talked about this before but I was on the brink of being ready for "my time to go", and thankfully my mom, being the angel that she is, took me to an E.R. at the right time because she came home for lunch during her break and got me some urgent help that I desperately needed. I got put in an in-patient therapeutic care unit, stayed there a few nights, got home, and put my commission queue I had on hold until further notice, I didn't worry about work, school, any form of art, avoided outside drama as much as possible, and things just started looking up for the better from there.
~FAST FORWARD A WEEK~
I start going into out-patient therapeutic care, which for me was a 5-day program every week (Monday-Friday) where I would be taken to a mental hospital to learn/act on coping skills and get the care I needed for me to be "fixed" for a lack of a better term. The first week I felt no different, but that was after I was just starting my new medication after I left my in-patient care unit when they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder (there's other things too but I don't want to speak of them too heavily other than that). These past few weeks I've been in the program (I started the Program on the last week of January, and am still in it and will be in it for another 3 more weeks, but now that I have been in this program for this long, things are looking up for the better I think.
~FINALLY SOME GOOD THINGS TO SAY~
Today is March 4th. It's a Saturday, don't have any form of therapy today, but even right now, as I am writing this, I feel pretty uplifted. I've been thinking about my accomplishments more rather than discounting them (which actually is a Cognitive Distortion, I learned that in therapy, it's called "Discounting the Positives"). I've brought a journal to these sessions every day since I've started and wrote a lot and I think I've took in a lot of what there was to learn. Sure things are not perfect and they probably will never be but I am making good steps to help myself the best I can.
I am also trying to think about myself more. It sounds selfish writing it out to some degree but I have neglected my own issues for too long now, I can't do that anymore. If something frustrates or upsets me, or if there is something bothering me, I will express it somehow rather than hold it in, because that would be a failure to invoke Boundaries (which was something else I've learned about in therapy too).
I have taken myself away from problematic people, problematic groups, folks who give me stress or make me uncomfortable, and have drawn things I've wanted and have enjoyed making. Again, this isn't perfect, I have had moments where I have felt pressured into doing certain things for folks I know and there have been people who have tried to push drama on me, but I do my best to not get involved, and at this rate, I think it's best to disassociate myself with people who don't bring me happiness of any kind, because I wouldn't want to condone their behavior and I don't want to be someone on the receiving end of their issues.
I have been doing better about thinking about me. I am able to give myself credit where credit is due and I am able to see the good I have. This takes time and that is obvious, but things are looking better now. Sure I am still not going to open comms for a little while, but I have been doing my best to get back in the swing of things with art as I've been making doodles on my iPad and little drawings for friends for fun, that's been very nice to get to do that.
I do have some flaws I need to fix though. My anxiety is there but it tends to not be sadness that brings me down, I am noticing my anger is getting higher, which is not great but it is a form of expressing myself, but I need to work on that. I don't want to lash out at people and I do not want to do anything I'd regret, ya know. Been on the receiving end of that enough times to know that's not fun. I also need to work on not caring too hard on what others think of me. That is a hard one, I have to admit, it still is. It's that strange thought I tell myself of "Pfft, my life, I am happy doing it", then I look at twitter or FA thinking "darn it nobody else did though". Of course I don't say any of it out loud but you know what I mean. That also sparks from online dramas too, mainly that, that probably would've been a better example but again, point is there.
~FINAL THOUGHTS~
There is a lot I need to improve on still but for an update's concerns, things are looking up for the better, and I am very excited to see how this improving will continue.
Thank you everybody who's supported me throughout these couple months and beyond. It's been super rough but a lot of you kept me going. Thank you.
I appreciate everyone who gave me support throughout this whole process of me being mentally unable to get through certain challenges I was facing. I hope to be able to word things as best as I can without getting into too much graphic detail and possibly raising any eyebrows too high.
~CONTEXT~
This past January are you might know was most certainly the darkest time in my life. I was working on art with practically all my time, I was stressed about my next semester in college starting, my friends was going through a few issues of their own that I had the need to comfort them with in regards to drama/family/financial issues/etc, I secluded myself to an unhealthy degree unless it were for folks I was working for or discord groups they were in where I can work on their art with them there if I could, my personal health was dwindling (I wasn't sleeping, I was overeating to keep myself awake at points, I neglected personal hygiene, etc.), and it eventually led to me reaching a breaking point that has built up in me for over a decade (these "lifelong irreversible" thoughts were there since I was 13).
I've already talked about this before but I was on the brink of being ready for "my time to go", and thankfully my mom, being the angel that she is, took me to an E.R. at the right time because she came home for lunch during her break and got me some urgent help that I desperately needed. I got put in an in-patient therapeutic care unit, stayed there a few nights, got home, and put my commission queue I had on hold until further notice, I didn't worry about work, school, any form of art, avoided outside drama as much as possible, and things just started looking up for the better from there.
~FAST FORWARD A WEEK~
I start going into out-patient therapeutic care, which for me was a 5-day program every week (Monday-Friday) where I would be taken to a mental hospital to learn/act on coping skills and get the care I needed for me to be "fixed" for a lack of a better term. The first week I felt no different, but that was after I was just starting my new medication after I left my in-patient care unit when they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder (there's other things too but I don't want to speak of them too heavily other than that). These past few weeks I've been in the program (I started the Program on the last week of January, and am still in it and will be in it for another 3 more weeks, but now that I have been in this program for this long, things are looking up for the better I think.
~FINALLY SOME GOOD THINGS TO SAY~
Today is March 4th. It's a Saturday, don't have any form of therapy today, but even right now, as I am writing this, I feel pretty uplifted. I've been thinking about my accomplishments more rather than discounting them (which actually is a Cognitive Distortion, I learned that in therapy, it's called "Discounting the Positives"). I've brought a journal to these sessions every day since I've started and wrote a lot and I think I've took in a lot of what there was to learn. Sure things are not perfect and they probably will never be but I am making good steps to help myself the best I can.
I am also trying to think about myself more. It sounds selfish writing it out to some degree but I have neglected my own issues for too long now, I can't do that anymore. If something frustrates or upsets me, or if there is something bothering me, I will express it somehow rather than hold it in, because that would be a failure to invoke Boundaries (which was something else I've learned about in therapy too).
I have taken myself away from problematic people, problematic groups, folks who give me stress or make me uncomfortable, and have drawn things I've wanted and have enjoyed making. Again, this isn't perfect, I have had moments where I have felt pressured into doing certain things for folks I know and there have been people who have tried to push drama on me, but I do my best to not get involved, and at this rate, I think it's best to disassociate myself with people who don't bring me happiness of any kind, because I wouldn't want to condone their behavior and I don't want to be someone on the receiving end of their issues.
I have been doing better about thinking about me. I am able to give myself credit where credit is due and I am able to see the good I have. This takes time and that is obvious, but things are looking better now. Sure I am still not going to open comms for a little while, but I have been doing my best to get back in the swing of things with art as I've been making doodles on my iPad and little drawings for friends for fun, that's been very nice to get to do that.
I do have some flaws I need to fix though. My anxiety is there but it tends to not be sadness that brings me down, I am noticing my anger is getting higher, which is not great but it is a form of expressing myself, but I need to work on that. I don't want to lash out at people and I do not want to do anything I'd regret, ya know. Been on the receiving end of that enough times to know that's not fun. I also need to work on not caring too hard on what others think of me. That is a hard one, I have to admit, it still is. It's that strange thought I tell myself of "Pfft, my life, I am happy doing it", then I look at twitter or FA thinking "darn it nobody else did though". Of course I don't say any of it out loud but you know what I mean. That also sparks from online dramas too, mainly that, that probably would've been a better example but again, point is there.
~FINAL THOUGHTS~
There is a lot I need to improve on still but for an update's concerns, things are looking up for the better, and I am very excited to see how this improving will continue.
Thank you everybody who's supported me throughout these couple months and beyond. It's been super rough but a lot of you kept me going. Thank you.
Taking life slowly but surely
General | Posted 3 years agoIt's been a long month for the month of January. Lots of different events occurred, some better some worse, but it led to me being in the mental state I am in today.
Thankfully it has been a lot worse last week and even worse than that before. I am doing alright but I decided to take off this semester for school and hold on commissions and projects for others for a while.
I probably should've said this sooner publicly but I feel comfortable mentioning this now more than before because I didn't know if it would be wrong of me to address this or not (I don't want to look like I am trying to garner for pity points or something along those lines, I am dealing with my mental issues as of late and finally getting some answers and learning coping skills, which I desperately needed.)
If you see less from me for a little while, or at least less bigger pictures, or a change in art style or quality every now and then from me, it's nothing I am going to change forever, I just really need to think about me for a little while. Might sound selfish, but after not doing much for myself, neglecting myself on a lot of terms, and doing everything I can to put everyone else above others, despite me doing my best to stand my ground at times, I need to get better with how I handle my life (as an artist, as a student, as an older brother, etc.)
If you're wondering what I am even talking about, to keep it as brief as possible, I'll summarize last month in one sentence.
Worked too hard, didn't sleep, neglected myself, let others walk on me, stress grew more and more, tried holding it in, hit a breaking point, was thinking about doing something life-threatening (to be blunt about it), got put into in-patient care after being neglected by my mental health department with my medical plan, finally got some sort of help/assistance, home now, doing my best to not think too hard on things, currently in out-patient therapy, taking new meds and doing my best to cope better.
It's been a rough time.
I am doing my best to get myself into a better state of mind or at least get some sort of assistance with my mental complications I have dealt with since I was 13. I am 24 now and only now finally got some solid results on things, and I hope to be able to get better with time, but that time....well....takes time. So I need to think about myself for a while.
I hope this doesn't disappoint anybody, and if it does, sadly I will have to bite the bullet a bit because I really need to think of myself for a bit because I haven't done so in a very long time (at least very much).
I forgot to love myself, I don't have any confidence, and I may not express it much, even to my closest friends, but it's something I've always had a problem with, and I am doing my best to get better now.
Thankfully it has been a lot worse last week and even worse than that before. I am doing alright but I decided to take off this semester for school and hold on commissions and projects for others for a while.
I probably should've said this sooner publicly but I feel comfortable mentioning this now more than before because I didn't know if it would be wrong of me to address this or not (I don't want to look like I am trying to garner for pity points or something along those lines, I am dealing with my mental issues as of late and finally getting some answers and learning coping skills, which I desperately needed.)
If you see less from me for a little while, or at least less bigger pictures, or a change in art style or quality every now and then from me, it's nothing I am going to change forever, I just really need to think about me for a little while. Might sound selfish, but after not doing much for myself, neglecting myself on a lot of terms, and doing everything I can to put everyone else above others, despite me doing my best to stand my ground at times, I need to get better with how I handle my life (as an artist, as a student, as an older brother, etc.)
If you're wondering what I am even talking about, to keep it as brief as possible, I'll summarize last month in one sentence.
Worked too hard, didn't sleep, neglected myself, let others walk on me, stress grew more and more, tried holding it in, hit a breaking point, was thinking about doing something life-threatening (to be blunt about it), got put into in-patient care after being neglected by my mental health department with my medical plan, finally got some sort of help/assistance, home now, doing my best to not think too hard on things, currently in out-patient therapy, taking new meds and doing my best to cope better.
It's been a rough time.
I am doing my best to get myself into a better state of mind or at least get some sort of assistance with my mental complications I have dealt with since I was 13. I am 24 now and only now finally got some solid results on things, and I hope to be able to get better with time, but that time....well....takes time. So I need to think about myself for a while.
I hope this doesn't disappoint anybody, and if it does, sadly I will have to bite the bullet a bit because I really need to think of myself for a bit because I haven't done so in a very long time (at least very much).
I forgot to love myself, I don't have any confidence, and I may not express it much, even to my closest friends, but it's something I've always had a problem with, and I am doing my best to get better now.
I got some help. Recovering now. Thank you all.
General | Posted 3 years agoI need some time away
General | Posted 3 years ago~3D CHERRY MOUSEPADS AVAILABLE NOW!~
General | Posted 3 years agoI FINALLY MADE A 3D MOUSEPAD!!!
Featuring Cherry and Her Happy Family!!!
Please Check it out if you like!
~3D Cherry Mousepad Etsy Shop Page HERE~
~My Advertisement Post here on Furaffinity~
Thanks for sticking by me for so long
General | Posted 3 years agoI am very grateful to everybody who's been here and supported me for as long as y'all have. I appreciate everything y'all have done for me, kept me going, and given me a reason to continue doing my best to improve my art as best as I possibly can. Art is a life learning process and I am happy having that life learning process with you all, as Furaffinity was where I began my "furry career" so to speak. It started here! (if you don't count instagram but that was right after high school ended and it was cringe as hecc *ahem* ANYWAY!!)
I know I am not perfect, not by a long shot, and that goal of being perfect is unachievable because nobody is perfect, but I want to do my best to get to the point where I can feel confident in my art fully. I want to feel happy drawing 100%, and sure there are times where I feel like s**t when I draw, but just being in the process of drawing makes me feel like I am doing something accomplishing and that is something I genuinely need in my life. I have met so many friends and good people in this community and some horrifically terrible and disgusting people ngl but mostly great people who I am happy that I am very close friends with and love very much as they love me back. Lance, Ace, Garchomp, Kairo, Corman, Era, LeShorin, Froggy, Ben, and many more, y'all know who you are if you're reading this. Thank you so much for everything, you've helped me grow up and mature quite a lot being here. I know I have my issues, especially mental issues that I often deal with, but you guys helped me keep them in check better, along with the professional help I get, and I sincerely thank you guys for helping me get through dark times.
There are a lot of dark times I have unfortunately, especially these past four weeks with school starting up and getting used to that new environment at a school campus again. I am a very socially anxious person which some may not think so if they've heard me talking VC chats on Discord, but IRL, I am the most awkward and socially jaded person you may encounter. I try my best to get through the problems I deal with every day, and some days are better than others, but the fact that I have everybody in my circle of friends and my "art career" here and on other platforms, that's something to keep me going. I apologize if I come off across as depressing or irritating to interact with at times. It's nobody's fault other than my own, I can sometimes be in a deeply negative mindset and it could be daunting, again, I am not perfect in the slightest.
.....I wrote a lot more than I expected to. I'm probably going to read through this once I upload this journal entry and cringe at what I wrote or realize I wrote something wrong or rambled, but out of feeling genuine with what I say, this is what I wanted to say. To TLDR it, the message basically is saying "thank you for supporting me" but I wanted to write out what I was wanting to say as best as I can......which I am not all that great at but I tried my best. x3
Thank you for supporting me.
My Buddy Holo_doks is doing a YCH YOU CAN'T MISS OUT ON!!...
General | Posted 3 years agoTo everybody here that is reading this, PLEASE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND please HEAR ME OUT
My buddy 
Holo_doks recently opened YCH slots and my god, you are doing yourself a disservice by NOT getting a slot on either of the two that they have available! They are multiple Poses and I can 100% tell y'all that they are definitely worth your support because WOW their work is so beautiful!!! They are doing their best to save up funds for their college career as most younger folks are doing here as growing and improving artists, the support would help him very much. I have gotten art from them in the past and my gosh they did a gorgeous job drawing Pringle (My Pichu Gal) a while back, along with so many other beautiful folks' characters, just look at their gallery, it's all so good!
Holo_doks*tightens my business suit tie* Now that you heard my positive words on their gorgeous art, you probably are wondering where to find these beautiful YCHs that they have offered recently. You can definitely click on their name you see with their icon above but you can also see their YCH pages DIRECTLY with the links you see below. Again, you do NOT want to miss out.
-Boob-Growth YCH-
-Showing Off the Goods YCH-
-The Gorgeous Pringle Illustration Mentioned Before-
Trust me when I say Holo_doks Has a LOT of talented to share with y'all. They got plenty more YCHs available as well, both auctions and slots you can take! Please go check out their gallery and the YCHs I mentioned above. You will absolutely love what they do! And if you don't like what they draw......w-well....y-you're wrong! Yeah, that's right, I said it! *ahem* anyway Please check them out!
-Back at it again with College and What’s Next for me-
General | Posted 3 years agoHere we are again, back in college, first day being tomorrow (August 29, 2022), and I am horrified of what school will bring me this semester. I haven’t been in school since December 2020 (or at least online classes because….ya know, Panda Mechs *ahem* ANYWAY! Back at it again until I hopefully get my Bachelor’s Degree in two years.
I finished as many units as I possibly could at my Community College nearby, great school, at the end of the day I got a decent education. Spent three and a half years there, admittedly a lot longer than I’d like to admit, had its ups and downs for a multitude of reasons but I’m currently half way there (so far 70 out of 120 Units needed for a Bachelor’s Degree.
Now I’ll be continuing my college career (that’s what it’s called right?) at at a CalState University. Thankfully I got some grants so I won’t be drowning too hard in student debt, and I’ve worked a lot irl to help pay for any fees needed if necessary, along with saving up for when I’m done with college and have a decent safety net to move out of state with a friend (we’ve planned this years ago from now). I Major in Art. Originally it was Studio Art in Animation, and that’s my main goal is to excel at being a 2D Animator. It’s a long story but the University I am going to brought to my attention that Studio Art majors have been divided. There’s Art, and there Art Design, which I was on board for Art so technically I’m just an Art Major in their eyes, but genuinely I want to be an animator, or at least that’s what I originally wanted for myself.
You see, during my time growing up as a minor (cringe I know) I HATED Art. Oh my god I hated Art and drawing so much, couldn’t stand it (unless it was Flipnote Hatena on the DSi but I just thought that was a video game). It was only till an irl friend of mine drew a picture of Blaze the Cat on his sketchbook in front of me, and it was entertaining. I never really seen anyone draw anything in front of me that was something I genuinely liked. It took him some convincing but he told me to draw or at least try to. I was 16, I originally wanted to be a Competitive Smash Bros for WiiU Player, and I mained Yoshi at the time so I drew a lot of little doodles of him and grew more fond of it. There’s a longer story to be told about why I drew lewds but aside from that I had to chose a career path, and again I just wanted to be a Smash Player, my mom said It was dumb and told me to do something that made me happy that isn’t a video game, and I said Art. I started art classes very much liking it, and I also drew the stuff I drew on the side and met some of the best friends I think I could’ve ever asked for. While I was in my stressful times at school, doing art irl, I would also do art with everybody here. In a weird way, the furry community gave me a home I never thought I’d have. People I can call my true friends, my reliable trustworthy companions, and I won’t lie, it’s been good and bad, can’t deny that there’s been some awful people I’ve met before too, but overall the good outweighs the bad and that’s something I’ll always cherish, as corny as that might sound.
The longer I thought about what I was doing, going to college to advance my lack of techniques because I didn’t like drawing before I started school so I didn’t grow up with it, I also practiced with all the art I’ve done here. It’s helped me grow a lot, and because of how supportive this community has been to me over the years, it’s made me happier to be a part of it overall, and it made me start thinking, especially after I’ve been lucky enough to chat with some of my inspirations here, maybe this could be a full time thing. I gotta work very hard of course, but what if, ya know? At first I thought it might be impossible, but that’s where that idea where I can live with my friend comes in. We’d live somewhere very affordable, he already finished college and is doing great, and we can live together and be happy in a place where we can do what makes us both happy. In his case, working on computers and being a master at anything technical, for me it’s art, especially the kind of art you see in my gallery.
I originally just wanted to play Smash Bros forever, then I wanted to be an animator (didn’t really have any specifics, just wanted to 2D animate), and now I want to be a Furry Artist (or anatomical illustrator as I’d tell my family if asked). I want to be able to draw the things I draw for the rest of my life, and that might sound like a drastically outlandish dream, I believe if I can work hard enough and make things work in a way where it’s suitable, it’s possible. I want to be able to at least try it, and I still want to improve so I’m still looking to improve my work and have a backup plan, my degree under my belt if needed. Once college is done, I want to do what I can to move out with my friend in our own place to live and do what makes us happy while also keeping us stable. My end goal overall is to do something that makes me happy, and overall; this makes me happy, so I want to keep doing it.
Just going over what I wrote here reminds me that I write way too much and possibly share way too much than needed. If you read all of this all the way through, I am sorry it took so long to get to the point x3. I haven’t wrote a journal in a long while and I thought I’d say something new, ya know. Writing this all does relieve some tension from how I felt when I first started writing, I’m still very nervous but hopefully classes go smoother than I expect them too. Here’s hoping it goes well. Please wish me luck, I might need it. Thank you for keeping up with me, everybody. (Also sorry if I spelt anything wrong, autocorrect can be a b^^ch sometimes, I wrote this all on my phone.)
I finished as many units as I possibly could at my Community College nearby, great school, at the end of the day I got a decent education. Spent three and a half years there, admittedly a lot longer than I’d like to admit, had its ups and downs for a multitude of reasons but I’m currently half way there (so far 70 out of 120 Units needed for a Bachelor’s Degree.
Now I’ll be continuing my college career (that’s what it’s called right?) at at a CalState University. Thankfully I got some grants so I won’t be drowning too hard in student debt, and I’ve worked a lot irl to help pay for any fees needed if necessary, along with saving up for when I’m done with college and have a decent safety net to move out of state with a friend (we’ve planned this years ago from now). I Major in Art. Originally it was Studio Art in Animation, and that’s my main goal is to excel at being a 2D Animator. It’s a long story but the University I am going to brought to my attention that Studio Art majors have been divided. There’s Art, and there Art Design, which I was on board for Art so technically I’m just an Art Major in their eyes, but genuinely I want to be an animator, or at least that’s what I originally wanted for myself.
You see, during my time growing up as a minor (cringe I know) I HATED Art. Oh my god I hated Art and drawing so much, couldn’t stand it (unless it was Flipnote Hatena on the DSi but I just thought that was a video game). It was only till an irl friend of mine drew a picture of Blaze the Cat on his sketchbook in front of me, and it was entertaining. I never really seen anyone draw anything in front of me that was something I genuinely liked. It took him some convincing but he told me to draw or at least try to. I was 16, I originally wanted to be a Competitive Smash Bros for WiiU Player, and I mained Yoshi at the time so I drew a lot of little doodles of him and grew more fond of it. There’s a longer story to be told about why I drew lewds but aside from that I had to chose a career path, and again I just wanted to be a Smash Player, my mom said It was dumb and told me to do something that made me happy that isn’t a video game, and I said Art. I started art classes very much liking it, and I also drew the stuff I drew on the side and met some of the best friends I think I could’ve ever asked for. While I was in my stressful times at school, doing art irl, I would also do art with everybody here. In a weird way, the furry community gave me a home I never thought I’d have. People I can call my true friends, my reliable trustworthy companions, and I won’t lie, it’s been good and bad, can’t deny that there’s been some awful people I’ve met before too, but overall the good outweighs the bad and that’s something I’ll always cherish, as corny as that might sound.
The longer I thought about what I was doing, going to college to advance my lack of techniques because I didn’t like drawing before I started school so I didn’t grow up with it, I also practiced with all the art I’ve done here. It’s helped me grow a lot, and because of how supportive this community has been to me over the years, it’s made me happier to be a part of it overall, and it made me start thinking, especially after I’ve been lucky enough to chat with some of my inspirations here, maybe this could be a full time thing. I gotta work very hard of course, but what if, ya know? At first I thought it might be impossible, but that’s where that idea where I can live with my friend comes in. We’d live somewhere very affordable, he already finished college and is doing great, and we can live together and be happy in a place where we can do what makes us both happy. In his case, working on computers and being a master at anything technical, for me it’s art, especially the kind of art you see in my gallery.
I originally just wanted to play Smash Bros forever, then I wanted to be an animator (didn’t really have any specifics, just wanted to 2D animate), and now I want to be a Furry Artist (or anatomical illustrator as I’d tell my family if asked). I want to be able to draw the things I draw for the rest of my life, and that might sound like a drastically outlandish dream, I believe if I can work hard enough and make things work in a way where it’s suitable, it’s possible. I want to be able to at least try it, and I still want to improve so I’m still looking to improve my work and have a backup plan, my degree under my belt if needed. Once college is done, I want to do what I can to move out with my friend in our own place to live and do what makes us happy while also keeping us stable. My end goal overall is to do something that makes me happy, and overall; this makes me happy, so I want to keep doing it.
Just going over what I wrote here reminds me that I write way too much and possibly share way too much than needed. If you read all of this all the way through, I am sorry it took so long to get to the point x3. I haven’t wrote a journal in a long while and I thought I’d say something new, ya know. Writing this all does relieve some tension from how I felt when I first started writing, I’m still very nervous but hopefully classes go smoother than I expect them too. Here’s hoping it goes well. Please wish me luck, I might need it. Thank you for keeping up with me, everybody. (Also sorry if I spelt anything wrong, autocorrect can be a b^^ch sometimes, I wrote this all on my phone.)
I want to try making MousePads, Standees, etc but idk how
General | Posted 3 years agoThis has been in the back of my head for the past few months, but I want to try making myself some "merchandise" (I don't know what word to use for it other than that). Things like 3D Mousepads, Stickers (that are good quality), standees, and a few others, but I am not entirely sure where to even start.
It would be fun to make things with characters of my own to have around, but I really do not know where to begin. I know a couple websites that could help but I am not too sure how safe they are. I can happily draw art for them myself but other than the art there, I am not sure what sites are good and what pages I can look for to help me here. I am not really looking for selling them as a product for others right now, I might in the future but I have to get invested into an idea like this and have that dedication for it first, and I don't entirely know how to work with those kinds of formats as of right now. I hope I don't sound dumb, I just don't know very much about things like this.
If I may ask, if any of y'all know good ways to make good quality Mousepads, Stickers, just merchandise in general, I would happily be open for suggestions. This is not super important, just something I want to try out on my own time for now of course, but still, it's been something I want to try out sometime is all. I apologize if it's rude to ask something like this, I am not entirely sure if it's right of me to ask, but if you have any advice and/or can help me with any information you can help me here with, I would be very thankful for all of it. Thank you for reading this all the way through, any help is appreciated (I am not asking for money at all, just information and/or advice). Thank you!
I want to try making MousePads, Standees, etc...but idk h...
General | Posted 3 years agoThis has been in the back of my head for the past few months, but I want to try making myself some "merchandise" (I don't know what word to use for it other than that). Things like 3D MousePads, Stickers (that are good quality), standees, and a few others, but I am not entirely sure where to even start.
It would be fun to make things with characters of my own to have around, but I really do not know where to begin. I know a couple websites that could help but I am not too sure how safe they are. I can happily draw art for them myself but other than the art there, I am not sure what sites are good and what pages I can look for to help me here. I am not really looking for selling them as a product for others right now, I might in the future but I have to get invested into an idea like this and have that dedication for it first, and I don't entirely know how to work with those kinds of formats as of right now. I hope I don't sound dumb, I just don't know very much about things like this.
If I may ask, if any of y'all know good ways to make good quality Mousepads, Stickers, just merchandise in general, I would happily be open for suggestions. This is not super important, just something I want to try out on my own time for now of course, but still, it's been something I want to try out sometime is all. I apologize if it's rude to ask something like this, I am not entirely sure if it's right of me to ask, but if you have any advice and/or can help me with any information you can help me here with, I would be very thankful for all of it. Thank you for reading this all the way through, any help is appreciated (I am not asking for money at all, just information and/or advice). Thank you!
~FINALLY made a ToS for the FREE-CHARACTER-TEMPLATES~
General | Posted 3 years agoI had a lot to say before about my dilemma I was in in regards to the Free-To-Use Templates I make before, and I think it's time to make a Terms of Service for them now. It's been too long where they've had no ToS and with what's been going on with them lately, I needed to make one now.
As you've most likely noticed by now, since I began making these Free-To-Use Templates, they've helped many people make new characters of their very own and grow more and more interested in the furry community in general. The purpose of these Templates was to give people an easy starting point to this community with a character of their own that they can easily make just by using some colors under the outlines that have been made, especially with the relief that it is free, making it much more approachable for them. I remember first joining this community not knowing anything and as a result, I made a Fox Character that I quickly grew less fond of because that just wasn't for me really (Referring to Alexi there, old fox character I made at first), I didn't know where to continue from there. I've met friends and grew a lot, and I remember having a hard time thinking of character ideas, and when I made the first Lugia template, I thought it might be a good gateway for people to make a nice character of their own and grow from there, just as I did, but the longer these templates have been around, I noticed more and more that they may have been used well, sure, but the majority of posts I'd see with them would be adopts or auctions.
At first I thought it would be okay, you know, it's free advertising in a way, everybody at least credited me for the outlines, and it didn't happen all too often at first so it wasn't much of a big deal for me, but the longer they've been around, to this day, they have become the majority of what they are used for, and to be blunt about it, it is unfair that I have never been sent a single penny from the people who have made adopts using them (aside from one time and that was it). These templates are something I do for free (for the most part, some people commission me to make some, but most templates are done for free), I did them because it is nice seeing people make beautiful creations out of something I assisted with, but when they are being sold, using my art to make something they can profit from that is meant for free, that's not fair to me, and to combat that, I made a small Terms of Service to hopefully make things more fair if that is what others want to use them for.
This has been something that I have been told time after time again by others for the past two years now, and again, I thought it was not that big of a deal in the early times of making these templates and seeing what people do with them, but they have become the majority of what they are used for, and by now, I need to put my foot down here. These templates are FREE, the are Free-to-USE, not Free-to-SELL, I hope that is understandable in what I am trying to explain.
If you would like to see the Terms of Service that has been made, it is as easy as reading the Folder Description of the 💠Free-To-Use Templates💠 tab in my Gallery. There is not too much to read, but it's all there, and will be linked on the bottom of this journal entry. I hope that this is understandable to most that see this journal entry. Thank you all for reading all the way through and I hope you have a great rest of your weekend. Thank you.
~Terms of Service~
life's been ehh
General | Posted 3 years agoSorry if I've been more standoffish with most people lately, even close friends to some degree.
This entire week has been an emotional roller coaster. I won't get into it very much at all but let's just say things got dark and almost took a turn for the worst.
Just trying to recollect myself, and I am doing a little better than I did on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Yesterday was alright, today just started, about to go to work in a few minutes after posting this.
But yeah....life has treated me like dirt lately, and it's mostly mental problems of mine escalating it all.
I hope I did not burden any of you. It's just been very rough.
This entire week has been an emotional roller coaster. I won't get into it very much at all but let's just say things got dark and almost took a turn for the worst.
Just trying to recollect myself, and I am doing a little better than I did on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Yesterday was alright, today just started, about to go to work in a few minutes after posting this.
But yeah....life has treated me like dirt lately, and it's mostly mental problems of mine escalating it all.
I hope I did not burden any of you. It's just been very rough.
Thank you
General | Posted 3 years agoThank you.
~About my templates and regarding me trying adopts~
General | Posted 4 years agoJust want to sorta vent out a problem I think I may have put myself in and have been thinking about for a good while now and after seeing a few others on my radar with adopts.
(This is not about anybody that uses my free templates to make adopts of their own so don't worry this isn't about that. Keep up the good work, you all!)
To cut straight to the point, I feel like making free templates hindered my access to making adopts. I know I haven't done adopts too much, if anything, only about 2 times (one publicly and one privately), but I've been thinking on it more. I kinda want to dip my feet into trying to make adopts but I think since the I started making free templates, I have had people either scoff or ignore my attempts or ideas on adopts entirely because they want me to just do them for free and call it a day. I have been lucky to have people want to commission me to make an outline for them that I can release as a free template, and I am grateful for that, but I feel like it's not earning me as much as I'd hoped or at least feel as accomplished as I'd hoped for what I do in regards to these templates. Not that I made these templates with the idea I would be paid back because....well....they are free, but seeing adopts out there get sold so well so quickly and seeing me struggle trying despite me making these free to use templates is kinda discouraging. The one time I tried doing the public adopts before, I was asked several times by others if I were planning to make those drawings I made for the adopts I tried selling with my Desyer Species (a new species I made at the time) into free templates afterwards, completely ignoring the point that it was an adopt. I just find it unfortunate that now since I made free templates and do so semi-regularly (sorta), adopts just seem like something I cannot do because people will just want them to be free or ignore it, and some people now expect me to just make free templates because that's just what I do apparently.
I appreciate everyone that uses my templates to make characters of their very own, that was the purpose of why I made them in the first place, because I remember starting out in this community not entirely knowing what I wanted to do or make, so these templates were meant to be a starting point into joining this lovely community that we all love very much, but it seems like my templates have become more of an expectation the more I drew them and released them publicly. I am not saying I will stop making templates by any means, but I feel like the more I make these templates, the more it has just become expected rather than appreciated, and I hope I don't sound toxic saying that. I hope I do not sound greedy or rude by mentioning anything I just typed out here, but part of me kinda feels like doing adopts just isn't possible for me because there will always be people that just expect me to make an outline for free so why bother getting an adopt from me at all, right? If you were given something for free and it suddenly became a purchase, nobody would enjoy that. You remember when Nintendo started their Nintendo Online Subscription Services, were any of you happy when that happened? No, right? That is the situation I feel like I put myself in with these templates. I don't want to make people pay me to use them, and I don't want people to be discouraged using them, but I do genuinely feel like these templates have hindered my ability to do adopts entirely, and I don't know what to do in that regard. Maybe I am just not thinking properly or maybe I am being too hard on myself, but this is just how I have felt about it for a while now.
If I may ask for your feedback from what is written here, I would greatly appreciate it and would love to hear your perspectives on this if that's okay. The last thing I want to do is sound greedy or toxic. I don't want to give anyone a bad impression, but If I did from what I wrote here, I am sorry. Please feel free to leave feedback if you can. Thank you for reading this in its entirety.
(This is not about anybody that uses my free templates to make adopts of their own so don't worry this isn't about that. Keep up the good work, you all!)
To cut straight to the point, I feel like making free templates hindered my access to making adopts. I know I haven't done adopts too much, if anything, only about 2 times (one publicly and one privately), but I've been thinking on it more. I kinda want to dip my feet into trying to make adopts but I think since the I started making free templates, I have had people either scoff or ignore my attempts or ideas on adopts entirely because they want me to just do them for free and call it a day. I have been lucky to have people want to commission me to make an outline for them that I can release as a free template, and I am grateful for that, but I feel like it's not earning me as much as I'd hoped or at least feel as accomplished as I'd hoped for what I do in regards to these templates. Not that I made these templates with the idea I would be paid back because....well....they are free, but seeing adopts out there get sold so well so quickly and seeing me struggle trying despite me making these free to use templates is kinda discouraging. The one time I tried doing the public adopts before, I was asked several times by others if I were planning to make those drawings I made for the adopts I tried selling with my Desyer Species (a new species I made at the time) into free templates afterwards, completely ignoring the point that it was an adopt. I just find it unfortunate that now since I made free templates and do so semi-regularly (sorta), adopts just seem like something I cannot do because people will just want them to be free or ignore it, and some people now expect me to just make free templates because that's just what I do apparently.
I appreciate everyone that uses my templates to make characters of their very own, that was the purpose of why I made them in the first place, because I remember starting out in this community not entirely knowing what I wanted to do or make, so these templates were meant to be a starting point into joining this lovely community that we all love very much, but it seems like my templates have become more of an expectation the more I drew them and released them publicly. I am not saying I will stop making templates by any means, but I feel like the more I make these templates, the more it has just become expected rather than appreciated, and I hope I don't sound toxic saying that. I hope I do not sound greedy or rude by mentioning anything I just typed out here, but part of me kinda feels like doing adopts just isn't possible for me because there will always be people that just expect me to make an outline for free so why bother getting an adopt from me at all, right? If you were given something for free and it suddenly became a purchase, nobody would enjoy that. You remember when Nintendo started their Nintendo Online Subscription Services, were any of you happy when that happened? No, right? That is the situation I feel like I put myself in with these templates. I don't want to make people pay me to use them, and I don't want people to be discouraged using them, but I do genuinely feel like these templates have hindered my ability to do adopts entirely, and I don't know what to do in that regard. Maybe I am just not thinking properly or maybe I am being too hard on myself, but this is just how I have felt about it for a while now.
If I may ask for your feedback from what is written here, I would greatly appreciate it and would love to hear your perspectives on this if that's okay. The last thing I want to do is sound greedy or toxic. I don't want to give anyone a bad impression, but If I did from what I wrote here, I am sorry. Please feel free to leave feedback if you can. Thank you for reading this in its entirety.
Commission Queue (Early October 2021- Late November 2021)
General | Posted 4 years agoCurrent Commissions Queue
Lancefoxcia -(DONE)
Lancefoxcia
grenerous -DONE)
grenerous
Artdumpofeeeee on Twitter -(DONE)
Sandslash -(DONE)
Sandslash
TheGuy99 -(DONE)
TheGuy99
NecroXavier -(DONE)
NecroXavier
Flarita -(DONE)
Flarita
DragonTitan -(DONE)
DragonTitan
akochi -(DONE)
akochi
Kopy_Kozel -(DONE)
Kopy_Kozel
Mungkorn -(DONE)
MungkornProjects (Will work on during freetime)
kiss_the_carrot -Cover Page for their upcoming comic (DONE)
kiss_the_carrot
DeltaVinny -Art Trade (DONE)
DeltaVinny D3monL0rdx on Twitter -Sketch that was promised months ago (DONE)
ZeusPegasus13 -Ref Sheet that was promised months ago (DONE)
ZeusPegasus13COMMISSIONS IN THIS QUEUE ARE COMPLETE!
All 16 commissions are finally done! Now I shall rest for a little bit because.....not gonna lie, this queue wore me out a lot. Sixteen commissions in the span of a little under two months, that's a lot for me. I still am going to do art of course but as for commissions, I think I am going to try to do some other projects for now, maybe the availability might feel nice for a bit, but we'll see. Next up though, I gotta make a Twitter Raffle with a friend of mine, one of those announcements posts would work just fine. Please keep a look out for that on my Twitter.com when it is open. Thank you so much everyone!
