I have finally grabbed everything that I could find and have dropped the keys in today. It’s over. I’ve finally escaped that environment and I’m into a new one. Hooray. Of course, that process itself wasn't smooth sailing. Despite me heading off, the roommate decided to greet me by accusing me of something to do with his shampoo. And by greet, I mean waking up to him and the devil's advocate of a roommate right outside my door. Great start to the day. Continuing on, they kept talking behind my back while I was still packing everything and being in my room, double-checking, he took away the internet for the second time while I was writing up a birthday message to my cousin who is in another state and in lockdown, and while I was almost ready to leave, they went out and bought KFC together (not for the first time, I might add, and no, there was no invitation either time). The only help that was offered were from the new roommates, though I politely declined their offer (they was busy with Uni Zoom calls). There were no goodbyes, no nothing. Great, right? Well, I'm gone from there now. Gone from two horrid individuals who made it their goal to create double standards for themselves so they would always make me feel like I was in the wrong all the time. This all started out because of three dishes that I didn't clean to his standard and in his time frame that he made up without telling me. I didn't even know the other roommates' name, he just made it even more difficult for me to be in an environment where I should be safe in. I'm gone from there now. It's over.

So, how I am feeling?

Somehow, hollow.

I know that my mind will be going through the memories of what happened and why I left for at least two weeks, if not more, which will keep me up and unmotivated, scared to be in the same building and the anxiety I will feel going down a lift just in case I met them again. I've had my last dosage of my medication and I'll be off it for two weeks, making things even harder to come down from, and during that stage, my mind will make it harder to fight off the terrible made-up thoughts that make it hard to get a good night's sleep.

Or a good evening's sleep.

Or a good afternoon sleep.

You get the idea.

I have no internet in the new place, the other roommates are using hotspots on their phones which I can't do unless I want all data to drain in less than a day (I hate my phone with a passion, it is only good for the literal basics that a phone can do, and checking my bank account), so that means going into the Uni during the evening just to check my emails to see if everything with my apartment or Uni is alright. I can't even sleep on a bed, so I have to sleep on the couch because of my "new" mattress having a certain shaped and certain coloured stain on the side of the bed, right by my desk. No mattress protector will make me feel safe sleeping on that, so I sleep on the couch (which also have stains on it, but none of the colour that I saw on the mattress). Everything is still in bags, and so on and so forth.

So far, the guys I'm with are nice (and just as tired as I am) and the view from where I am is incredible. Actually breathtaking. But really, that's about it for the positives about the new place, apart from the obvious "I've left a toxic environment" comments.

I just hope that this is the last move.

I just hope.

4 months are left in the year. Let's just get through it together so that we can see the other side of this awful year, so we can get on with the next awful (but hopefully less awful) year.

No, I don't have high hopes for the next year. And really, no one should at this point, apart from some people I know who will have a lot of fun things to focus on.

I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. Fair to say that I'm not taking this new information well. On top of that, some subjects that I thought I had passed are now failed, and recently there are changes where students who fail classes will risk losing access to HECS loans.

I am drowning in sorrow.

I didn't expect much of a good day, but I enjoyed more than I had thought. I went out, I went through the marketplace on the outskirts of the main city. I enjoyed the smell of fresh bread and cheeses, combined with the smells of hot waffles and coffee. I enjoyed slowly lifting the weight of the world off my shoulders for a moment and just being free to explore. But they are just moments. Small, short moments that end and I return to the doubts. Those doubts become worries and then soon, I'm back where I am: Still afraid of the world. Still afraid of the future. Still afraid of those who I thought I could trust and let myself be vulnerable, only for them to take advantage for their own goals.

I'm still afraid.

I'm still afraid of the roommate who I thought I could trust.

Why am I like this? Why do I just post this nonsense? Just so people can feel sorry for me? What is wrong with me? I'm genuinely afraid of not reading or developing my mind more often before it just stops developing and I'm stuck as this dumb lump of a human being. Why am I doing this to myself? Something's wrong with me. I am getting help but clearly I'm not helping in any matter.

So, yeah.

I'm 21 now.

And I really just want to be happy and carefree, but the past keeps pulling me back with bad memories.

I'm sorry that I've written one of these posts again, I'm just not happy with how things are at the moment. I want to say that it will get better, but you know what this year has been like already.

I'm not looking forward to it. Despite plans being made since days ago, I'm not looking forward to it. The moment. The event that is 21. I do not feel like I have accomplished what I would have done. No finished product to look back on and feel proud. No moment of pure bliss, unriddled with fear and regret, to see in my mind as one of the best moments. I feel as if what lies ahead will still never give me the satisfaction of what others have experienced. And what I have experienced, the moments that cannot escape my mind, I know deep down are my fault. I fear that I am not learning to be myself, not able to accept myself for who I am out of sheer anxiety of how people see me. I feel weak, that I am too vulnerable, l let myself open up only for people to enter and make matters worse. I've done it before. And I've sadly done it again. I fear that my cynicism and my judgement will hurt others, and I fear that I will not realize the damage that it might do, or I will simply not care, leading to more hurt. I feel like I never learn from my mistakes, and that I am just doomed to repeat myself. I am already seeing someone at the University because I have failed another subject, and I fear that not only have I let myself down, but also my family, my friends, my auntie, and so on. But it's not to late to change that, right?

I mean, it's not too late.

It's not too late.

Please tell me that it's not too late.

Perhaps I should leave this sort of sappy write-up in my head and forget about it.

On the 29th of February, 2020, my beloved Auntie Sandra has passed away. I loved her dearly. Talking to her, letting her tell me about the things that she did and what she loved doing then, and about how proud she was of everyone was a highlight of every Family Christmas, every phonecall, every like and every comment she made, and every visit she had with us. I send my deepest and my most heartfelt condolences to all her family and friends. She was one of the most kind-hearted, sweet and wonderful people I think that I ever had the chance to be a part of her life.

On her last moments, when I was alone with her, I sung this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAZN1oVir5A.

My last words that I had said to her was "I'm going to miss you. I know that you are proud of me, and I am so, so proud of you".

The Lord is my Shepherd
I shall not want
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures
He leadeth me besides the still waters

The Lord is my Shepherd
I shall not want
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures
He leadeth me besides the still waters

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil

For you are with me
You will comfort me

You are with me
You will comfort me

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life
And I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever

Forever

Forever

Forever

The Lord is my Shepherd
I shall not want
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures
He leadeth me besides the still waters

The Lord is my Shepherd
I shall not want
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures
He leadeth me besides the still waters
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil

For you are with me
You will comfort me

You are with me
You will comfort me

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life
And I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever
Forever
Forever

Forever

Bojack Horseman has now finished. It's over. And as much as I didn't want it to end, it did. I watched the final episodes of the series, and they were brilliant. They hit every moment perfectly. All the sadness, joy, anger, every emotional nerve was struck for me. This show is more than just something to watch. It is one of the best representations of anxiety, depression, alcoholism, personal struggles and extensional nightmares that people face almost every day. One episode of the final series cut deep for me. It hurt, because it captured so much of the question "Why do I fear death at such an early age?". The show answered that question better than I could. But now, the show is over. My favourite show has now stopped.

But it stopped where it needed to stop in it's tracks. The characters, even if they still have their doubts, fears, regrets and problems, were happy. And I was happy for them. Thank you, Bojack.

"The weak breeze whispers nothing

The water screams sublime

His feet shift, teeter-totter

Deep breath, stand back, it’s time

Toes untouch the overpass

Soon he’s water bound

Eyes locked shut but peek to see

The view from halfway down

A little wind, a summer sun

A river rich and regal

A flood of fond endorphins

Brings a calm that knows no equal

You’re flying now

You see things much more clear than from the ground

It’s all okay, it would be

Were you not now halfway down

Thrash to break from gravity

What now could slow the drop?

All I’d give for toes to touch

The safety back at top

But this is it, the deed is done

Silence drowns the sound

Before I leaped I should’ve seen

The view from halfway down

I really should’ve thought about

The view from halfway down

I wish I could’ve known about

The view from halfway down"

I can't stop thinking about it. Australia is on fire. 500 Million animals dead, of those 8000 Koalas. 4 million hectares burnt, 961 houses burnt, 17 people missing, 17 people dead. Millions of dollars cut from national parks and the RFS. I can't just do nothing.

Please donate to these firefighters: https://quickweb.westpac.com.au/Onl.....n=EnterDetails

http://www.givit.org.au/

https://www.cfa.vic.gov.au/about/supporting-cfa

https://cfsfoundation.org.au/donate

Please donate to save the wildlife: https://www.wwf.org.au/get-involved.....ency#gs.qoa9xh

https://www.zoo.org.au/fire-fund/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/mkcfreecycle/

https://www.rspcansw.org.au/bushfire-appeal/

Donate something. Anything. Every dollar and cent counts. Help Australia. Help us more than the PM ever could. Please. Lives are at stake. Animals are becoming extinct. Please help. In any way.

As you know, this year hasn't been great. For me, the past decade hasn't been great. It has been a time where I have panicked, stressed, been harassed, depressed, anxious, all of the above. I started this decade as a young happy kid. I now end this decade in a manner of sadness and depression because the world that I live in is depressing. The land that I live in is on fire. The people who I share this planet with, the majority at least, have been unkind to so many. All these things plague my mind so often that I wonder why I'm here. Why I was put here. Why now. Why during the rise of the alt-right? Why during the bushfires of Australia that has almost wiped out the koala population? Why during all the bigotry, all the homophobia and transphobia, all the hatred towards those who offer a different opinion? This year was very close to being the last year that I live on this Earth. I couldn't handle being here. Even on the last day of the year, I considered doing it again. All because of this video, summarizing all that happened to Australia this year: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=998890573843574

2019 was difficult to navigate, as I had left home and onto a new place to live for the time being. I felt like an outcast at my college. They had unspoken rules that if you didn't drink, you weren't welcome here. I didn't have the same experience at Uni, until someone decided to say those exact words to me, in person, during a lesson, promptly taking one of my friends with him, taking over what little friendships I made during my first semester. From there, I didn't go to my lessons during that semester. I couldn't. I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to be in a college filled with people who decided that staying up and making as much noise as possible until 5:00 am was a great idea. I may have been annoying during my time, but not as annoying as staying up and making noise, playing weird nursery rhymes for kids, and not allowing someone who needed to go have surgery at 6:00 to have any sleep. The college was a prison. All the staff there were mistreated by students and the head staff members alike. Uni, however, apart from that one experience which has made me repeat the first semester, was different. It was fun. Great fun. But great fun at a price. The price was sleep, money, and transport. And even then, that fun didn't really translate well outside of Uni. I barely got to see anyone outside of the Uni. Two to Three people maybe, but not many. Though I had fun with the two or three people who were outside of Uni. Even then I constantly have my doubts if I can keep them. I feel as if I lose my friends if I get bored of them or move out of where I usually find them. I feel as if I'm losing them just by talking to them. I shouldn't be connected to people if I decide I get bored of them.

Even then, this decade hasn't been great for me and my family. The place in which I live is filled with people who talk behind your back. My family was one of their targets. It was awful. I lost a friend this year due to a car crash and I didn't even know about it until my mother told me on the day of his funeral. I lost another friend to cancer. I lost several people that I looked up to, especially the man, the myth, Rik Mayall. I lost family members. I stayed on studying in a school that treated me like dirt from the very beginning, just because I believed my own lie of "I had friends there". I got OCD from the constant fear of a friend of a friend, one that has stayed with me throughout the year, even when she was gone from my town. I lost one of my cats due to someone, and I kid you not, poisoning it. My brother's friend was murdered.

Throughout this decade, I find myself weaker and weaker to all of the things that have happened. I have lost heroes. Friends. Family. I have felt so defeated.

But then I remember. All the things I have lost does not compare to what I have gained while I am still here. I have new friends. Friends that would do anything for me, as I would do for them. Friends who took the time to talk to me during the hardest points of this decade. And no matter if they have passed, I still have heroes. They stay heroes of mine. Ones to look to. Ones to watch and smile at what they did with their lives, making others happy. And while I may have problems, problems with my mental state, I know that my family will help me. They will look after me. I know it. I know they will. I thank each and every one of you for staying with me. Thank you for talking to me. Thank you for liking what I do. Thank you for being there. Because I will always remember the good of people here.

For you all, I shall send you this song. One that summarizes the decade: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAZN1oVir5A

Right, if I were to do commissions, what would you guys want from me?

I want to desperately support my mother, while the rest of my family look for jobs, because she is supporting all of us.

I usually hate looking back at my life. It fills me with dread, fear and anger when I think about it for too long, but I feel as though I must tonight. It is a small milestone that I have passed, one that will be possibly remembered as being the best time of my life in the future, but I have yet to experience it, I've only just made it to the beginning. Several years of my life have passed me. Some memories I have forgotten, and some, no matter good or bad, will stay with me forever. Friends have come and gone, family members that I once knew are now just pleasant memories that I will remember. Time has passed, and will continue to do so.

I would like to thank each and everyone of you, who have seen, favourited, watched and enjoyed my work, and still have continued to see what I am doing. I'd like to thank everyone who I have been inspired by, everyone who has given me help and guidance, and everyone who has saved me.

Thank you so, so very, very much.

Happy birthday, me.

I'm slightly concerned that my artistic, design and writing skills are not improving and regressing into something more simplistic. While my ideas are ambitious, I worry that these ideas are far too much for me to finish. I've already given up on a project, both due to the people I was covering and due to time not being available to me, but it did seem unlikely that I was going to finish it anyway.

I've already got so many things that I need to finish, both on this site, and with life in general. The next chapter of Mary's life, To Become of Us chapter three, more ideas for Nerva, covers, designs, stories that are almost finished, etc. While Uni is the main concern, and something that I deeply need to focus on (which thankfully I'm getting through), it does worry me that I won't complete even the personal tasks that I have set myself.

They still (thankfully) are on my mind when I'm doing something else, but I want to finish them and it feels like I don't have the energy or the time for it. I want to involve myself more here, because this site has given me so many things that I couldn't even believe I would ever have.

I do worry that I might end up like the "fabled" creator of "Sonichu", CWC, unaware of what he is doing and what he is becoming.

It's just a concern of mine lately.

Take care, everybody.

It's been a while.

A long while.

I'm not sure how to start things off.

It's already been a tough year for me. Moving out of my house into a college, going to Uni, saying goodbye to my home town for a long, long time, all of these are new experiences for me. That would be stressful enough as it is, but as time goes by, more and more stress piles up.

My mental health has slowly gone downhill, leaving me coming back to the college, crying in my room, leaving me with certain damaging thoughts. My only source of money comes from my mother, the only one that has a job in my family so far, and I feel horrible for spending it, any of it, even on things I need. The people in the college have decided that I do not fit the binge drinking, pub partying mold that they want, even if the ones who think this came into the college the same time and day that I did. It's left me feeling isolated to the Uni experience that I wanted.

On the 30th of April, things got too much for me. Those damaging thoughts grew and grew to the point where it was one of the things I thought about endlessly, until a friend suggested that I try contacting Lifeline, an Australian mental health hotline. I did and I burst into tears about what I was going to do. From there, I just spent weeks in bed, not wanting to get up, not wanting to wake up, I didn't want to face anyone and do anything. I didn't do any work and missed several due dates that I am still catching up to today.

I got into contact with the deputy head of the college and she decided that I should go into the Uni Medical Center and have appointments with their psychologists and staff. I have had appointments with a member of the Uni Med staff and they have been very helpful and kind to me, helping me with due dates that hopefully the Uni staff at the campus that I'm at understand.

Today was the first day that I met the psychologist that I had been appointed.

One thing that she wanted me to do was something that I had barely done throughout most of this year, last year and the years before: appreciate myself.

The trouble is: How do I start? When does self appreciation become an ego? How do I stop myself from gaining a large ego?

I do overthink every situation to the point where it becomes impossible for me to stop thinking about the negatives, but I'm not sure how to target this one. I know that I have to do it or else the year will be even harder, and the thoughts of doing something self-harmful will grow and grow.

I do apologize for not doing much on FA, not finishing certain gifts for people and for not being very active on my own page.

I need to get better, and that is something that I know I will have to figure out for myself.

Take care, everyone.

Yep.

Again.

The laptop is destroying itself. Again. Right now, I'm a couple of days away from being in University. I cannot have this problem during my time there. I'm asking you all for a favor. Please, oh please, donate to my Ko-Fi page, so that I could fix this during my time in Uni!

Please.

Again.

So, I have to do commissions because I've reached crunch time with Uni, so after a discussion with Dearshul, itsrainingbooks, and many others about this situation I'm in, I'll be doing covers for writers if they want one.

I ready don't have a limit here.

The price will be around $8.

More information will be added.

Reeve the Pup, a friend of mine, is in need of anyone to help him get back on his feet. He hasn't had the best of years, and with how things are going in his life, he really needs the help.

Please do donate to him. Please.

Journal here: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9003347/

I had an idea for something that could help me with money for University. Has anyone read, listened or watched The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? I'm just wondering, if I create a character bio for anyone in the style of the show, would you pay for it? I think that this idea could be fun for both the customer and the creator. What do you think?

A couple of friends and people who I admire put out a signal boost to  Trevor-fox's Boatload Commission Fundraiser. He needs around $4000 in two weeks to keep his house! Please donate whatever you can!

Details here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/29948731/

I've just checked how much was in my bank account, and while the fantastic Art Sale helped me a lot, there still isn't enough to support me for not only the three years, but even just the one. I am above and beyond panicking at this point. Thankfully, there is still enough time for me to search for a job, but I need to ask you all a question that might help me sooner than later.

If I made adopts, would you buy them?

This is something that I have never done but I really have to try here. I didn't want to have the start of the year be a financial crisis.

Looking back at the year, I honestly saw very little that I could remember doing, that's really because I did very little. Being on a gap year that I honestly didn't want to partake in was difficult. I didn't have a job. I didn't have a car. I had barely anything to keep me interested in creating. It was a tough year.

During that time, my family had it worse. My mother had no connection to her family anymore, they all sort of vanished because of their nature (or adapted nature) to be pains in all of our arses. My father was under fire because of his grief, making almost the whole town hate us for being us. We weren't the only ones having a more than hard time with this year. I don't think I've ever met someone who had a good year this year.

With myself, mentally, I was struggling with a lot. I was panicking a lot with Uni. I felt that I wasn't ready to partake in University, let alone be there for three years. It felt like a lot of pressure was on me not to disappoint everyone. I had barely any money to keep me going, and the seasonal job that I had ended so soon.

2018 was going to be a year that I was going to forget...

...going to be...

...but not anymore.

Around early July, I decided to take Dearshul's advice and post my stories onto FurAffinity, and I honestly think that this was one of the greatest things that I've done. Seeing all the beautiful work here, the stories, the art, the characters, it all made me feel that I could express myself without shame. I felt like I could talk to people about some problems with depression and anxiety. It felt like I could create again, doing things that I've never done before. I felt like I had a place to go. While it's still alien to me to see the words "friend" or even hear the word from people here describing me, but I'm so, so glad they do because it makes me so happy to hear it, to know that I have friends who can support me and I can support them.

Honestly, this site makes me want to become a better person. Since I've joined, I have supported charities, I've felt better and more confident about myself, I've got back into drawing (even though some of the results aren't as good as others) and I've started writing stories. Full stories. Ones that end and are finished. That's a huge accomplishment for someone like me.

All the good things that have happened this year doesn't compare to the things you have all done for me. I seriously don't know how to thank you all. I don't want just to say thank you and that's it, but I truly don't know how I can thank you all. You've all done so many nice, kind, caring, incredible things to me. I have to do something nice for you all, but I don't know what.

2018, for me, was worth it for this community and that's something that I usually never say when it comes to a community. Thank you. Thank you all. Here's to the next year and the more that come our way. I'll still be celebrating them with you. Always. 2018: The Year of the Furry or Animal Artist.

The needle in the haystack was you all, and I'm so glad I found it.

Alright, so I'll be away from FA for a couple of days, so Merry Christmas to all of you at home! I'll be back whenever I can.

This year has been a financial struggle for me, which has made me anxious about Uni coming up next year. As things are, I won't be able to support myself through the first year, so Dearshul77 and I have collaborated to do a pay-what-you-want art sale to raise a bit of money to help get me through my first year. Now, this is what I'm offering, I'll ge-

Enedia: Are you finished?

I was just explaining what will happen if you buy a piec-

Enedia: No, no, no, no, no. I'll explain this properly. Attention all- No, that isn't loud enough...

ATTENTION ALL HUMANS!

That's better! This is Lady Enedia speaking to you. Before you all bow before me, I need your... uh... assistance. I require help with my realm. Currently, there are some tasks that not even my current servants could attempt. While they have tried, they clearly aren't enough to complete the task. That's where you, my subjects, come in.
I'm offering you the rare opportunity to enter my realm, become an apprentice at my farm, and gain work experience doing specialized tasks that I know my useless servants and that good-for-nothing author would struggle with. I am looking for honest hardworking people who want to get a leg up on the competition for these positions. I can assure you, the work environment at my farm will teach you more than most people ever have the chance to learn.
Or, perhaps you're looking for a retreat where you can forget the worries and troubles that come with the day-to-day struggles of human society. If that is what you wish, you are also welcome. You will be treated like royalty, served only the healthiest meals, and given a private “room” for the duration of your stay. The accomodations are rustic, but I don't think you'll mind. You'll find that you have nothing to worry about at all once you've gotten in touch with your instincts.
As much as I would like to have as many people as my farm can hold, I can only reserve six rooms at the moment. Sign up quickly, because this is a very limited time offer. Understood?

Disclaimers:
*Lady Enedia and her servants belong to me.
*Pictures drawn for this art sale are not eligible for edits

Apprentice/Guest List
1. Eala (Guest retreat)
2. Analternateguy234 (Apprentice)
3. Eala (Helping out)
4. gregoro (Guest retreat)
5. Johnny (Apprentice)
6.


Enedia: Well, now I must prepare if I'm going to have these new animals... uh, guests on my farm. I'm going to round-up those cursed fools if they are going to help me get them here. Farewell, author, I must return to the fog.

Umm...
Yeah...
What she said... but nicer... Umm... Oh! Please specify whether you'd like to visit the farm as an apprentice or a guest, and provide a reference picture if possible. T-thank you...

Before I say anything, please make note that this is my opinion. Repeat that, my opinion! Thank you.

Around 2013, the 50th anniversary of the show, I was starting to get sick of Doctor Who.

During 2015 and 2016, I honestly wanted to avoid the show altogether.

2017, I had some faith in the show, but it completely left during the horrible Christmas special.

2018. I love the show. I love the Doctor. I couldn't care if the Doctor was a woman or not, it was brilliant. The companions are fantastic, some of the best of the shows history. It felt like Doctor Who did when I was a kid, watching The Runaway Bride and Battlefield.

I love Doctor Who now...

...but when I search Doctor Who stuff on YouTube, an endless amount of hatred is there.

Why? Because people don't like that the Doctor is a woman now. Is that sad? Is it sadder that they are believing their rather shallow opinions as fact now and spreading it to other like-minded people? The reason why I'm talking about this is because Billy Garratt John had released an interview with one of these "fans" of the show, and it brings my blood to a boil.

Sydney Newman stated around 1980 that the Doctor should change into a woman. Sydney Newman was the creator of Doctor Who. The Creator. Tom Baker and Patrick Troughton suggested that the Doctor should be played by a woman as well.

Listen to the whole thing if you want to or dare: https://twitter.com/GarrattJohn/sta.....42941022978054

The lovely, lovely  Dearshul77 is doing a Pay What You Want sale, featuring an absolutely brilliant idea for some TF's. Please look at the journal!

Details here: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8965220/

Please do help her out, she is an incredible person who really needs some help at the moment.

I’m out of a job.

My job was only seasonal and since we have had very, very poor weather, that means that it’s over. My first job. I’m thankful that I even had a job, but that now leaves me in a difficult position. I was supposed to earn enough for Uni next year, but because I only had five days of work, and I stupidly spend some on some absolutely beautiful commissions, I don’t have enough. My brother had around two thousand dollars to support himself with, I am barely making it to the triple digits.

Please donate something, ANYTHING, to my Ko-fi page, please.