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General | Posted 8 years agoHey y'all!
I posted a journal over on my commission FA, I'm keeping this one as an archive of non-fursona characters (which Bee is becoming one of).
I've made a lot of life changes and I'm doing a lot better, but I needed to shuck off that old shell and become myself.
Please feel free to give me a watch over on
<3
I posted a journal over on my commission FA, I'm keeping this one as an archive of non-fursona characters (which Bee is becoming one of).
I've made a lot of life changes and I'm doing a lot better, but I needed to shuck off that old shell and become myself.
Please feel free to give me a watch over on
<3I'm afraid of 19 out of 72 fears.
General | Posted 11 years ago[x] the dark
[ ]staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[x] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[x] closed spaces
[x] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[x] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
Total so far: 5
[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[x] deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[x] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] girlfriends/boyfriend's dad
[x] girlfriends/boyfriend's mom
[ ] rats
[x] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
Total so far: 9
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[ ] death
[x] heaven
[X] being robbed
[x] falling
[ ] clown
[x] dolls
[ ] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[x] doctors, including dentists
[ ] tornadoes
Total so far: 14
[ ] hurricanes
[ ] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[x] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[x] becoming blind
[ ] becoming deaf
[x] growing up
Total so far: 17
[ ] creepy noises in the night
[ ] bee stings
[x] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[ ] high speed
[x] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secrets
Total: 19
If you wish to post this journal, it's been requested that you title it, "I'm afraid of __ out of 72 fears"
if you get more than 30, I highly suggest counseling
if you get more than 20, you're paranoid
if you get 10-20, you're normal.
*if you get 1-9, you're difficult to frighten.
*If you get 0, you're fearless.
[ ]staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[x] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[x] closed spaces
[x] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[x] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
Total so far: 5
[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[x] deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[x] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] girlfriends/boyfriend's dad
[x] girlfriends/boyfriend's mom
[ ] rats
[x] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
Total so far: 9
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[ ] death
[x] heaven
[X] being robbed
[x] falling
[ ] clown
[x] dolls
[ ] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[x] doctors, including dentists
[ ] tornadoes
Total so far: 14
[ ] hurricanes
[ ] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[x] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[x] becoming blind
[ ] becoming deaf
[x] growing up
Total so far: 17
[ ] creepy noises in the night
[ ] bee stings
[x] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[ ] high speed
[x] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secrets
Total: 19
If you wish to post this journal, it's been requested that you title it, "I'm afraid of __ out of 72 fears"
if you get more than 30, I highly suggest counseling
if you get more than 20, you're paranoid
if you get 10-20, you're normal.
*if you get 1-9, you're difficult to frighten.
*If you get 0, you're fearless.
Happy Anniversary.
General | Posted 12 years agoTo my favorite person in the whole wide world, who's fought so hard for me and given me so much. To my very best friend and the only person who I know will be there always without any doubts. To the boy who grew up into a man alongside a girl who still isn't quite sure she's an adult. To the guy who's held me while I sob my heart out and made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe.
I will never be good enough to deserve you. And I'll never ever stop trying.
I love you. <3
10-31-2011
(officially)
A brief rant on being an extrovert on the internet.
General | Posted 12 years agoSo I have a lot of friends who are introverts, and I 100% respect that.
I TOTALLY get it. I understand the hatred or anxiety that goes along with small talk or meeting new people. I get that it's crippling and just makes you miserable. And I completely respect that.
I, however, am an extrovert. I am talkative, friendly to strangers, and quick to open up. I show way too much warmth to people I don't know very well and if I'm alone and bored, I'm quick to reach out to someone, anyone around me for a conversation. When I befriend someone in more than a passing way, I think of them often and warmly, and want to interact with them often. I love going on adventures, exploring, going places I haven't been before just to see what kind of hidden treasures may be there. I'm optimistic, friendly, and outgoing.
And sometimes it kind of feels like I'm expected to be more introverted, just because I'm part of the furry/online community.
Lately I've seen extroverts being teased, ignored, talked about behind their backs, laughed at, and mind-bogglingly enough even pushed away as a friend because they're considered just too outgoing. This would be fine if it's just a clash of personality, but all too often I'm seeing good friends splitting up this way JUST because one person expects the other to change. This is a trend I'm noticing not just with me personally, but with pretty much all the extroverts I know - I've seen people bluntly state that they hate happy and cheerful people, or can't tolerate optimists. I've seen people complain on one hand how nobody respects their need for quiet and privacy and alone time, then flip and on the other hand rant about how people who are too happy need to shut up and butt out and learn to occupy themselves inside or just keep their optimism to themselves because it's just so annoying. I've even seen people say that people who are extroverted or have extroverted tendencies "don't belong" in their social circles, simply because they're eager and willing rather than reluctant and complainy whenever they leave the house! Meanwhile, tell some of these people to "loosen up" or "relax and have fun" and get an earful on how it's offensive and rude to disrespect their personalities like that. And that's absolutely correct. Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how to feel or what they can or can't enjoy! But that goes the opposite direction, as well. Respect isn't a one-way street.
I certainly don't expect anybody to put up with my personality if they don't want to, but I shouldn't be expected to change any more than you should.
That said...I couldn't be happier. Carrot is very introverted, I'm very extroverted. We've developed a good balance wherein he feeds my almost constant need for interaction quite perfectly - we have been almost constantly in contact for many many years now, and not for a single second have I felt bored of him. Since the day I moved here there hasn't been a day we've slept apart or a distance between us of more than a few short hours. Despite my joy and desire for adventures, outings, and group activities/communities, I'm totally happy to respect Carrot's preference for quiet time at home most of the time, relaxing at our desks and quietly playing games or watching movies or doing other solitary things in such a way that we don't feel lonely. And despite the fact that crowds make him anxious and interacting with new people is horribly frustrating and being far from home is exhausting, Carrot puts up with my need to go out and do stuff and makes it fun and interesting, without whining or making me feel guilty for it, as well as interacting with the community of trusted individuals we've built up around us. I think we've struck the perfect balance there.
All that said, I definitely recognize that there's just as much pushiness and disrespect from the side of extroverted individuals toward introverts...but this is just a personal observation and I wanted to make my thoughts on this specific side known, because frankly it doesn't seem like there are a lot of people like me on the internet and I'm tired of seeing people being told, like myself, that we don't belong here or don't fit in. It hurts to be excluded for being outgoing just as much as it hurts to be excluded for being quiet.
So...introverts, extroverts, settle down and pay attention to the people you say you care about, or want to befriend! We can all coexist happily and peacefully, with respect to our own individual gripes and needs and comfort zones. It just takes a little communication and some mutual respect.
/soapbox.
Sorry, I have feels tonight. XD
I TOTALLY get it. I understand the hatred or anxiety that goes along with small talk or meeting new people. I get that it's crippling and just makes you miserable. And I completely respect that.
I, however, am an extrovert. I am talkative, friendly to strangers, and quick to open up. I show way too much warmth to people I don't know very well and if I'm alone and bored, I'm quick to reach out to someone, anyone around me for a conversation. When I befriend someone in more than a passing way, I think of them often and warmly, and want to interact with them often. I love going on adventures, exploring, going places I haven't been before just to see what kind of hidden treasures may be there. I'm optimistic, friendly, and outgoing.
And sometimes it kind of feels like I'm expected to be more introverted, just because I'm part of the furry/online community.
Lately I've seen extroverts being teased, ignored, talked about behind their backs, laughed at, and mind-bogglingly enough even pushed away as a friend because they're considered just too outgoing. This would be fine if it's just a clash of personality, but all too often I'm seeing good friends splitting up this way JUST because one person expects the other to change. This is a trend I'm noticing not just with me personally, but with pretty much all the extroverts I know - I've seen people bluntly state that they hate happy and cheerful people, or can't tolerate optimists. I've seen people complain on one hand how nobody respects their need for quiet and privacy and alone time, then flip and on the other hand rant about how people who are too happy need to shut up and butt out and learn to occupy themselves inside or just keep their optimism to themselves because it's just so annoying. I've even seen people say that people who are extroverted or have extroverted tendencies "don't belong" in their social circles, simply because they're eager and willing rather than reluctant and complainy whenever they leave the house! Meanwhile, tell some of these people to "loosen up" or "relax and have fun" and get an earful on how it's offensive and rude to disrespect their personalities like that. And that's absolutely correct. Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how to feel or what they can or can't enjoy! But that goes the opposite direction, as well. Respect isn't a one-way street.
I certainly don't expect anybody to put up with my personality if they don't want to, but I shouldn't be expected to change any more than you should.
That said...I couldn't be happier. Carrot is very introverted, I'm very extroverted. We've developed a good balance wherein he feeds my almost constant need for interaction quite perfectly - we have been almost constantly in contact for many many years now, and not for a single second have I felt bored of him. Since the day I moved here there hasn't been a day we've slept apart or a distance between us of more than a few short hours. Despite my joy and desire for adventures, outings, and group activities/communities, I'm totally happy to respect Carrot's preference for quiet time at home most of the time, relaxing at our desks and quietly playing games or watching movies or doing other solitary things in such a way that we don't feel lonely. And despite the fact that crowds make him anxious and interacting with new people is horribly frustrating and being far from home is exhausting, Carrot puts up with my need to go out and do stuff and makes it fun and interesting, without whining or making me feel guilty for it, as well as interacting with the community of trusted individuals we've built up around us. I think we've struck the perfect balance there.
All that said, I definitely recognize that there's just as much pushiness and disrespect from the side of extroverted individuals toward introverts...but this is just a personal observation and I wanted to make my thoughts on this specific side known, because frankly it doesn't seem like there are a lot of people like me on the internet and I'm tired of seeing people being told, like myself, that we don't belong here or don't fit in. It hurts to be excluded for being outgoing just as much as it hurts to be excluded for being quiet.
So...introverts, extroverts, settle down and pay attention to the people you say you care about, or want to befriend! We can all coexist happily and peacefully, with respect to our own individual gripes and needs and comfort zones. It just takes a little communication and some mutual respect.
/soapbox.
Sorry, I have feels tonight. XD
Sorry for the art flood!
General | Posted 12 years agoMore incoming as well...I did a terrible job of staying on top of keeping my commission and gift art pieces organized. ;u;
Uploading more as I come across it; I'm just combing through my laptop's hard drive right now. c: If you don't see something pop up that you drew for me or know if that I might have forgotten to save, please let me know! Thanks! :3
((note: I'm only uploading fairly polished stuff, and a fair bit of it may get scrapped later depending on whether the design is accurate to her current look or not. Alternate characters to Bee will also be uploaded but may be scrapped later, pending FA's eventual integration with a folders feature.))How is everyone? <3
General | Posted 12 years agoI haven't talked to you guys in a long time. So how are you all? <3Abandonment.
General | Posted 12 years agoMy least favorite thing in the world (besides pretentiousness and bad hygiene!) is seeing people hop from bff to bff.
It sucks to think you're getting close to someone, making a lifelong friend, and then seeing them scoot to the next, more interesting person...then drop them like last year's jeans once the next person comes along. :( One of the reason I'm so glad to be away from MD is because a lot of the people I was close to there (short of a few very special people who I'm still very blessed to stay in touch with) all but forgot I existed before I moved, just because I stopped partying so much.
There are people I have literally not spoken to in a year and a half who at one point I would have thought would be a part of my daily life until the day I die. And there are people who I never thought I'd have a personal conversation with that I now rely on to keep me sane!
If I get close to someone, it's for life. I'm all or nothing, there is no lukewarm to me - once I call you a close friend, you can always count on me. If you get bored of me, so be it, but for every week or month that you ignore me, are too busy hanging out with this new friend, or ditch plans with me, or leave me out of activities with others, I will remember. It hurts, and I'll never look at you the same way again, but I will always forgive and be there the next time you have time for me.
You find out who your friends are once you get comfortable around them. Some of my fondest memories of my adolescent/teen years are the times spent just lounging around in diedre's basement, watching old movies over and over, fighting with her brother, and giggling late into the night over stupid Monty Python jokes. It's great to be able to remember those times with no fog of depression, knowing that if I called her up right this second, she'd be as loving, familiar, and comforting to talk to as ever. And of course there's Jake, who knows me inside and out and who I can always count on to be there for me every second of every day; he's never bored or tired of or irritated by me, he always is happy to have me around, and that's something I treasure more than words can ever say.
Good friendships are built on those everyday moments where you can bounce off another person like echolocation and never lose your own place in the world while forging it. It's unfortunate that so many people are only interested for the short run. I never put much stock into the idea of family as a kid, since my family was never very accepting or close-knit, but now that I'm older I can really appreciate the value of having people in my life that will always be there, and always be interested in me and what I'm doing and want to spend time with me. I guess that sounds really selfish, but that's the kind of friendship and family that I believe in building and nourishing.
I guess that's life, though. Live and learn. I have a small group of people I can depend on to be there anytime, day or night. People who have known me as a young, stupid kid, and somehow still tolerate me. People who can see past who I am on the outside and know me for our interactions, not for their assumptions about me based on hearsay. And I'm incredibly grateful for all of them. <3 You know who you are. Thank you for being there for me. I love you. <3
It sucks to think you're getting close to someone, making a lifelong friend, and then seeing them scoot to the next, more interesting person...then drop them like last year's jeans once the next person comes along. :( One of the reason I'm so glad to be away from MD is because a lot of the people I was close to there (short of a few very special people who I'm still very blessed to stay in touch with) all but forgot I existed before I moved, just because I stopped partying so much.
There are people I have literally not spoken to in a year and a half who at one point I would have thought would be a part of my daily life until the day I die. And there are people who I never thought I'd have a personal conversation with that I now rely on to keep me sane!
If I get close to someone, it's for life. I'm all or nothing, there is no lukewarm to me - once I call you a close friend, you can always count on me. If you get bored of me, so be it, but for every week or month that you ignore me, are too busy hanging out with this new friend, or ditch plans with me, or leave me out of activities with others, I will remember. It hurts, and I'll never look at you the same way again, but I will always forgive and be there the next time you have time for me.
You find out who your friends are once you get comfortable around them. Some of my fondest memories of my adolescent/teen years are the times spent just lounging around in diedre's basement, watching old movies over and over, fighting with her brother, and giggling late into the night over stupid Monty Python jokes. It's great to be able to remember those times with no fog of depression, knowing that if I called her up right this second, she'd be as loving, familiar, and comforting to talk to as ever. And of course there's Jake, who knows me inside and out and who I can always count on to be there for me every second of every day; he's never bored or tired of or irritated by me, he always is happy to have me around, and that's something I treasure more than words can ever say.
Good friendships are built on those everyday moments where you can bounce off another person like echolocation and never lose your own place in the world while forging it. It's unfortunate that so many people are only interested for the short run. I never put much stock into the idea of family as a kid, since my family was never very accepting or close-knit, but now that I'm older I can really appreciate the value of having people in my life that will always be there, and always be interested in me and what I'm doing and want to spend time with me. I guess that sounds really selfish, but that's the kind of friendship and family that I believe in building and nourishing.
I guess that's life, though. Live and learn. I have a small group of people I can depend on to be there anytime, day or night. People who have known me as a young, stupid kid, and somehow still tolerate me. People who can see past who I am on the outside and know me for our interactions, not for their assumptions about me based on hearsay. And I'm incredibly grateful for all of them. <3 You know who you are. Thank you for being there for me. I love you. <3
BDSM - opinions?
General | Posted 13 years agoOver the years I've sampled plenty of flavors of BDSM, and seen a lot of good and a lot of bad come out of the community.
Now, I'm no longer really involved with that community - Carrot and I keep things pretty much in the bedroom - but I was thinking earlier today about exactly how much it's affected our relationship and our dynamic as a couple. Those thoughts sparked some curiosity about how some other couples use BDSM in their relationships, and whether it's a purely sexual element added in to spice up a mostly vanilla relationship, or maybe a little more.
Or maybe there are some people out there who think BDSM is an absolutely horrific notion born of domestic abuse and think that you should need an ID to buy rope. Please, share your opinions!
So let's discuss this. What're your thoughts? Have you had any deeply personal experiences with BDSM, either as a lifestyle or as a fetish? How has it affected your relationships(s), or your outlook on your chosen sexual interests? Is it a dealbreaker for you?
Let's talk!By far the strangest interaction I've ever had on steam.
General | Posted 13 years agoThis person added me a couple of days ago. At the same time he added my friend 
. Neither of us know him at all, he apparently doesn't have an account here, and his Steam profile lists him as this:
Fursona
Name: Skyler
Age:18
Sex:Male
Features: Long purple hair. Medium neko ears. Golden brown eyes. Long slim neko tail. white robe covering his whole body.
Likes: Friendly and Dominant Furrys.
Dislikes: Annoying people.
Orientation: Pansexual.
Might die soon just a feeling
So yeah, I was a little wary. But I added him anyhow, didn't want to be unfriendly. What follows is either a ridiculous and hilarious trolling attempt, or a true example of the weird people that crawl the depths of the internet. Enjoy.
Skyler: bee
Bee: Hullo c:
Skyler: :)
Skyler: hi
Bee: what's up?
Skyler: v.v
Bee: ??
Skyler: i cant play...skyrim
Skyler: v.v
Skyler: they keep telling me wait 3 months till i can afford the parts....but i wanna play now
Bee: that sucks :(
That was last night. Today:
Skyler: io.o
Skyler: ..
Bee: sup o.o
Skyler: .....your not a girl
Skyler: are you?
Bee: um, yes, I am.
Bee: why?
Skyler: well then
Bee: ?????
Skyler: :(
Skyler: its horrible
Bee: did you add me looking for RP or something?
Skyler: ;(
Skyler: no
Skyler: no
Bee: uh, what?
Skyler: i....my
Skyler: i...
Skyler: it
Skyler: ;(
Skyler: i...cant wait any longer
Skyler: :(
Bee: I'm so confused. What's wrong with me being a girl? why are you sad? I don't understand.
Skyler: nothing is wrong with you
Skyler: ;(
Skyler: i.....computer
Skyler: ....i......they...
Skyler: ;(
Bee: OMG WTF.
Bee: just say what's upsetting you xD I don't even know you, stop being so dramatic.
Skyler: ok
Skyler: I'm buying a computer....and everyone keeps saying to wait and get parts in 3 months...for a powerful gaming one...but... i want one now... i bought 100$ worth of games and now i cant even afford it
Skyler: what do i do... i have 600....-725 if i sell my laptop..
Bee: uh
Bee: sell plasma and donate a kidney?
Bee: idfk
Bee: get a job?
Skyler: ....
Skyler: tell me now
Skyler: >.>
Skyler: TELL ME
Bee: tell you what?
Skyler sighs and hugs you
Bee: ???????
Skyler: my name is skyler
Skyler: and im a fem boy
Bee: congratulations?
Bee: My name is Bee, I'm a femgirl
Skyler hugs you and cuddles
Skyler cries on your shoulder
Bee gently disengages you from her shoulder and backs away a few feet :I
Bee: I have a boyfriend/pet and I'm not really interested in any of the touchy feely stuff, thanks...
Skyler: im depressed!
Skyler: AND YOU SAY THAT!
Skyler: ;(
Bee: Should your depression keep me from being truthful and expressing my boundaries? o.o
Skyler: >.>
Skyler: just say i have a boyfriend....besides YOU CAN CUDDLE A FRIEND
Skyler: GOD
Skyler: ;(
Skyler: i dont believe you one bit
Skyler: i know mind gamers when i see them
Skyler: your tricks wont work on me
Bee: uhh
Bee: what?
Skyler: :P
Bee: do you have a FurAffinity account? Do I know you from there? Because i'm pretty sure we haven't met before you adding me yesterday O_o
Skyler: no
Bee: where'd you get my steam ID?
Skyler: kacie
Skyler: foxie~
Bee: Why?
Skyler: i....
Skyler: i....
Skyler holds you
Bee wiggles away again.
Bee: I'm really hoping this is just a bad trolling attempt
Skyler: its not
Skyler: im depressed as fuck
Bee: Why add a random furry to steam and attempt to immediately emote at them out of depression? that doesn't make any sense.
Bee: I'm all for hearing why you're depressed and giving you advice, but I'm not here to give anyone asspats or do any of that murry purry bullshit.
Skyler: ok
Skyler: i have the money to buy a new computer. but friends keep telling me to wait 3 months till my birthday when i can build a great computer. but I am very impatient and i bought skyrim and fallout but cant play them on my laptop and don't know what to do
Skyler: to the point im depressed
Bee: That's a really stupid reason to be depressed.
Skyler: what..
Bee: There are people out there with life threatening diseases, people without homes, let alone computers or video games, people who go days without eating and who have to sleep on abandoned streets, people who just lost their loved ones and have to face the rest of their lives alone, people who have families to support and know they're going to die before their oldest child turns ten.
Bee: And you're sad because you can't afford the fanciest possible computer and claiming that it's "depression".
Bee: As someone who's had clinical depression in the past, that's laughable and pathetic.
Skyler: calling someone who has cancer laughable and pathetic is just wrong
Skyler: why do you fucking think im doing this... i dont have long to live
Bee: lmfao, bullshit
Skyler is now Offline.
Welp, guess that's that!
. Neither of us know him at all, he apparently doesn't have an account here, and his Steam profile lists him as this: Fursona
Name: Skyler
Age:18
Sex:Male
Features: Long purple hair. Medium neko ears. Golden brown eyes. Long slim neko tail. white robe covering his whole body.
Likes: Friendly and Dominant Furrys.
Dislikes: Annoying people.
Orientation: Pansexual.
Might die soon just a feeling
So yeah, I was a little wary. But I added him anyhow, didn't want to be unfriendly. What follows is either a ridiculous and hilarious trolling attempt, or a true example of the weird people that crawl the depths of the internet. Enjoy.
Skyler: bee
Bee: Hullo c:
Skyler: :)
Skyler: hi
Bee: what's up?
Skyler: v.v
Bee: ??
Skyler: i cant play...skyrim
Skyler: v.v
Skyler: they keep telling me wait 3 months till i can afford the parts....but i wanna play now
Bee: that sucks :(
That was last night. Today:
Skyler: io.o
Skyler: ..
Bee: sup o.o
Skyler: .....your not a girl
Skyler: are you?
Bee: um, yes, I am.
Bee: why?
Skyler: well then
Bee: ?????
Skyler: :(
Skyler: its horrible
Bee: did you add me looking for RP or something?
Skyler: ;(
Skyler: no
Skyler: no
Bee: uh, what?
Skyler: i....my
Skyler: i...
Skyler: it
Skyler: ;(
Skyler: i...cant wait any longer
Skyler: :(
Bee: I'm so confused. What's wrong with me being a girl? why are you sad? I don't understand.
Skyler: nothing is wrong with you
Skyler: ;(
Skyler: i.....computer
Skyler: ....i......they...
Skyler: ;(
Bee: OMG WTF.
Bee: just say what's upsetting you xD I don't even know you, stop being so dramatic.
Skyler: ok
Skyler: I'm buying a computer....and everyone keeps saying to wait and get parts in 3 months...for a powerful gaming one...but... i want one now... i bought 100$ worth of games and now i cant even afford it
Skyler: what do i do... i have 600....-725 if i sell my laptop..
Bee: uh
Bee: sell plasma and donate a kidney?
Bee: idfk
Bee: get a job?
Skyler: ....
Skyler: tell me now
Skyler: >.>
Skyler: TELL ME
Bee: tell you what?
Skyler sighs and hugs you
Bee: ???????
Skyler: my name is skyler
Skyler: and im a fem boy
Bee: congratulations?
Bee: My name is Bee, I'm a femgirl
Skyler hugs you and cuddles
Skyler cries on your shoulder
Bee gently disengages you from her shoulder and backs away a few feet :I
Bee: I have a boyfriend/pet and I'm not really interested in any of the touchy feely stuff, thanks...
Skyler: im depressed!
Skyler: AND YOU SAY THAT!
Skyler: ;(
Bee: Should your depression keep me from being truthful and expressing my boundaries? o.o
Skyler: >.>
Skyler: just say i have a boyfriend....besides YOU CAN CUDDLE A FRIEND
Skyler: GOD
Skyler: ;(
Skyler: i dont believe you one bit
Skyler: i know mind gamers when i see them
Skyler: your tricks wont work on me
Bee: uhh
Bee: what?
Skyler: :P
Bee: do you have a FurAffinity account? Do I know you from there? Because i'm pretty sure we haven't met before you adding me yesterday O_o
Skyler: no
Bee: where'd you get my steam ID?
Skyler: kacie
Skyler: foxie~
Bee: Why?
Skyler: i....
Skyler: i....
Skyler holds you
Bee wiggles away again.
Bee: I'm really hoping this is just a bad trolling attempt
Skyler: its not
Skyler: im depressed as fuck
Bee: Why add a random furry to steam and attempt to immediately emote at them out of depression? that doesn't make any sense.
Bee: I'm all for hearing why you're depressed and giving you advice, but I'm not here to give anyone asspats or do any of that murry purry bullshit.
Skyler: ok
Skyler: i have the money to buy a new computer. but friends keep telling me to wait 3 months till my birthday when i can build a great computer. but I am very impatient and i bought skyrim and fallout but cant play them on my laptop and don't know what to do
Skyler: to the point im depressed
Bee: That's a really stupid reason to be depressed.
Skyler: what..
Bee: There are people out there with life threatening diseases, people without homes, let alone computers or video games, people who go days without eating and who have to sleep on abandoned streets, people who just lost their loved ones and have to face the rest of their lives alone, people who have families to support and know they're going to die before their oldest child turns ten.
Bee: And you're sad because you can't afford the fanciest possible computer and claiming that it's "depression".
Bee: As someone who's had clinical depression in the past, that's laughable and pathetic.
Skyler: calling someone who has cancer laughable and pathetic is just wrong
Skyler: why do you fucking think im doing this... i dont have long to live
Bee: lmfao, bullshit
Skyler is now Offline.
Welp, guess that's that!
Haha what
General | Posted 13 years agoSomeone from MD texted me (don't know the number) "Miss it babe" with a picture of a very white and very skinny penis attached.
So I responded by spamming him with photos of seals and eels and birds and alligators.
Suck on that, you horny bastard.
So I responded by spamming him with photos of seals and eels and birds and alligators.
Suck on that, you horny bastard.
Food and Health Advice?
General | Posted 13 years agoI need it guys.
Due to long-standing issues fighting depression, as well as hormone imbalances and heavy birth control that keeps me a few pounds overweight, I have a huge issue battling to keep my weight down. I'm horrible at self-control, so I eat like a fucking pig half the time and then turn around and skip meals for days on end. Not to mention that I get little to no exercise, which only makes the depression worse since I have a huge lack of energy and no endorphines get fired up.
I'm finally biting the bullet and buying a gym membership, even though it means postponing getting a better computer, new clothes, etc. Because I'm fucking tired of being fat and miserable and fuck me if I'm going to sit here and be one of those bitches who just whines all the time and never does anything to change it.
I have no idea how to eat healthy; I've never done it. As a kid I was always active enough with riding and hockey to stay in shape while eating whatever I wanted. Now, as an adult, I have maybe one or two meals a day at random ass times and eat a shit ton of cookies, candy, etc. I hate it. I want to cook real meals, I want healthy food, and more than anything I just want to be happy with how I look and feel. I'm not the prettiest girl in the world but the one thing I think I can control is what I shovel into my face and I'm ready to take on that responsibility, because I'm starting to fear for my future if I don't.
So...give me your tips. Give me workout routines (my gym doesn't have a pool or indoor track, btw), give me meal plans, give me low-calorie snacks, give me a kick in the ass and make me feel even worse about myself so I have a reason to fight it.
I like fruit, but I can't eat any skins because I have oral allergy syndrome. I like most green veggies, and I like pastas and meats and anything using bread. It's tough for me to cook since I work forty hours a week and my kitchen is kind of small to be shared between three people cooking separate meals at the same time, so quick, easy stuff is best. I love snacking. I don't drink anything but water and occasionally some juice.
Thanks in advance. <3
Due to long-standing issues fighting depression, as well as hormone imbalances and heavy birth control that keeps me a few pounds overweight, I have a huge issue battling to keep my weight down. I'm horrible at self-control, so I eat like a fucking pig half the time and then turn around and skip meals for days on end. Not to mention that I get little to no exercise, which only makes the depression worse since I have a huge lack of energy and no endorphines get fired up.
I'm finally biting the bullet and buying a gym membership, even though it means postponing getting a better computer, new clothes, etc. Because I'm fucking tired of being fat and miserable and fuck me if I'm going to sit here and be one of those bitches who just whines all the time and never does anything to change it.
I have no idea how to eat healthy; I've never done it. As a kid I was always active enough with riding and hockey to stay in shape while eating whatever I wanted. Now, as an adult, I have maybe one or two meals a day at random ass times and eat a shit ton of cookies, candy, etc. I hate it. I want to cook real meals, I want healthy food, and more than anything I just want to be happy with how I look and feel. I'm not the prettiest girl in the world but the one thing I think I can control is what I shovel into my face and I'm ready to take on that responsibility, because I'm starting to fear for my future if I don't.
So...give me your tips. Give me workout routines (my gym doesn't have a pool or indoor track, btw), give me meal plans, give me low-calorie snacks, give me a kick in the ass and make me feel even worse about myself so I have a reason to fight it.
I like fruit, but I can't eat any skins because I have oral allergy syndrome. I like most green veggies, and I like pastas and meats and anything using bread. It's tough for me to cook since I work forty hours a week and my kitchen is kind of small to be shared between three people cooking separate meals at the same time, so quick, easy stuff is best. I love snacking. I don't drink anything but water and occasionally some juice.
Thanks in advance. <3
Stress
General | Posted 13 years agoI have so much of it right now.
With all my issues at work (Gamestop is bullshit), and the stress of not being very physically active, I'm just so frustrated with everything. It's hard for me to enjoy every day when I know tomorrow there's going to be something awful or huge going on that's going to be completely my responsibility. It's not that I'm doing poorly at work, in fact, I'm next in line for the promotion. But I don't think I even want it anymore. After five months of doing the ASM's job, and getting shit for pay, I'm done. You guys wasted too much time. Fuck off.
So I have an interview coming up with this work-from-home job (thanks
!). Wish me luck, guys - I really need it. I can't work for Gamestop anymore, it's ruining my life. :c That sounds overly dramatic, but srsly. I don't have time to spend with Carrot, like at all. I'm constantly strung out on nerves, wondering what's going to go wrong tomorrow, freaking out about my manager's incompentence, being terrified of who's gonna quit this week. I don't go outside, or exercise; I'm so horrified with my body right now and i want to go to the gym but I can't if I can't make the money for a membership.
And I feel like I've annoyed all my friends. I'm not the most interesting person on the best of days, but on the worst, I'm a miserable wreck that just bitches and whines until you wanna smack me over the head with something large and metal. I know Carrot's gotta be sick of dealing with me. I'm sure you all are too, and I'm sorry. I don't mean to be like that.
Thanks for listening guys. <3 Again, wish me luck. Here's hoping something's gonna change for the better.
With all my issues at work (Gamestop is bullshit), and the stress of not being very physically active, I'm just so frustrated with everything. It's hard for me to enjoy every day when I know tomorrow there's going to be something awful or huge going on that's going to be completely my responsibility. It's not that I'm doing poorly at work, in fact, I'm next in line for the promotion. But I don't think I even want it anymore. After five months of doing the ASM's job, and getting shit for pay, I'm done. You guys wasted too much time. Fuck off.
So I have an interview coming up with this work-from-home job (thanks
!). Wish me luck, guys - I really need it. I can't work for Gamestop anymore, it's ruining my life. :c That sounds overly dramatic, but srsly. I don't have time to spend with Carrot, like at all. I'm constantly strung out on nerves, wondering what's going to go wrong tomorrow, freaking out about my manager's incompentence, being terrified of who's gonna quit this week. I don't go outside, or exercise; I'm so horrified with my body right now and i want to go to the gym but I can't if I can't make the money for a membership. And I feel like I've annoyed all my friends. I'm not the most interesting person on the best of days, but on the worst, I'm a miserable wreck that just bitches and whines until you wanna smack me over the head with something large and metal. I know Carrot's gotta be sick of dealing with me. I'm sure you all are too, and I'm sorry. I don't mean to be like that.
Thanks for listening guys. <3 Again, wish me luck. Here's hoping something's gonna change for the better.
Christianity (ON HOLD)
General | Posted 13 years agoSorry guys, it's 4am and I have to sleep! I'll be on tomorrow morning, don't be afraid to comment - I'll get back to everyone!
I don't get it.
Explain to me why a well-educated, logical person who has actually read the Bible from cover to cover still believes this stuff.
Please. I'm not going to be mean, or call you names, or get confrontational in any way. I would love to debate it, though, and I'd love to meet some open-minded people who are willing to discuss their beliefs without getting angry and shutting me out.
I know it's hard to discuss Christian beliefs based on how much the whole religion forces you into a mindset where questioning it is almost as bad as going out and stabbing some fast food worker in the face for getting your order wrong. :P But I don't think any logical person would choose to stick with that in favor of learning the truth about their beliefs, especially when you're supposed to have strong enough faith that there's nothing that could prove your religion wrong.
So let's chat. <3 Wanna keep it private? Note me, or email me! Otherwise we can totally chat here. :)
I don't get it.
Explain to me why a well-educated, logical person who has actually read the Bible from cover to cover still believes this stuff.
Please. I'm not going to be mean, or call you names, or get confrontational in any way. I would love to debate it, though, and I'd love to meet some open-minded people who are willing to discuss their beliefs without getting angry and shutting me out.
I know it's hard to discuss Christian beliefs based on how much the whole religion forces you into a mindset where questioning it is almost as bad as going out and stabbing some fast food worker in the face for getting your order wrong. :P But I don't think any logical person would choose to stick with that in favor of learning the truth about their beliefs, especially when you're supposed to have strong enough faith that there's nothing that could prove your religion wrong.
So let's chat. <3 Wanna keep it private? Note me, or email me! Otherwise we can totally chat here. :)
Body Modification
General | Posted 13 years agois probably my favorite thing in the world, right behind carrotwolf.
As we all know, I have some self-image issues. I have problems with my gender, my body type, and my body's malfunctions. I don't like being female, especially considering my chosen hobbies/careers, and my body's not real fond of it either - endometriosis, huge family history of breast cancer. My body type is exactly the opposite of what I'd like; heavyset, curvy, with enormous boobs. I'd like to be at least a little slimmer, with no boobs and less hips. My kidneys are broken, my uterus is broken, I'm allergic to a million things including fruit skin and milk.
But the one thing I can change, control, and conform is my skin.
I've had an obsession with tattoos and piercings that borders unhealthy for a long time, since around mid-high school. I always liked them beforehand but I lied about it because omfg God says it's wrong 8C I was a very Biblical kid. During high school, though, I started researching, learning, and slowly growing more and more obsessed with both covering my skin with art and with putting my own art on others' skin. The whole thing is perfectly ritualistic, just the right mix of pleasure and pain, and has that satisfying tinge of sacrifice that makes things so heartbreakingly addictive.
I've never been encouraged to pursue this interest before, really. My parents, of course, despised it (though my dad ended up relaxing a bit when he saw how serious I was about wanting to actually become a tattoo artist, and mostly supports me in it now). My little sister was horrified. My ex was tolerant until he figured out he couldn't control what I did or did not want, and more or less banned them. My friends were all outwardly encouraging, but none of them have ever shared enough of an interest for me to geek out about it with them - though diedre has always been very supportive and was the main factor in keeping me from falling to pieces when my last apprenticeship fell through.
Now I'm in a town pretty much surrounded with tattoo shops of varying levels, specialities, and overall settings. 83 carrotwolf has been incredible with it - while he grew up similarly fixated on being a good kid and never thought of himself as the type to get tattoos or piercings, he's been very brave. Maybe it started out as just being a fantastic, supportive boyfriend...telling me almost daily that I can do anything I want with my body and he'll still find me beautiful, spending hours talking with me (mostly listening to me talking in circles) about tattoos, piercings, possibilities, and plans. But I think now it's fair to say he's as addicted as I am, at least with piercings. And of course it's been awesome having ajna helping me with art and inspiration when it comes to the actual tattoos - she helped me design the sleeve I'm currently in the process of getting. (half of it was outlined tonight!)
So far, I've put a bunch of holes into my body and gotten two (well, one and a half?) tattoos.
The List (in order):
1) One lobe piercing in each ear. Not currently gauged or in use :(
2) One black pawprint on my inner right wrist.
3) One lower right lip piercing.
4) One vertical hood piercing. (google if you don't know, but it's NSFW.)
5) One tongue piercing.
6) One microdermal piercing on my upper right wrist.
7) (half outlined) One leopard-print spot half-sleeve tattoo, right upper arm.
I have a lot more planned out, and hopefully once I get the rest of my body in line (losing weight, getting toned, and working on boob reduction) I can post pictures and not want to die. :D
I'm so fucking happy. <3
As we all know, I have some self-image issues. I have problems with my gender, my body type, and my body's malfunctions. I don't like being female, especially considering my chosen hobbies/careers, and my body's not real fond of it either - endometriosis, huge family history of breast cancer. My body type is exactly the opposite of what I'd like; heavyset, curvy, with enormous boobs. I'd like to be at least a little slimmer, with no boobs and less hips. My kidneys are broken, my uterus is broken, I'm allergic to a million things including fruit skin and milk.
But the one thing I can change, control, and conform is my skin.
I've had an obsession with tattoos and piercings that borders unhealthy for a long time, since around mid-high school. I always liked them beforehand but I lied about it because omfg God says it's wrong 8C I was a very Biblical kid. During high school, though, I started researching, learning, and slowly growing more and more obsessed with both covering my skin with art and with putting my own art on others' skin. The whole thing is perfectly ritualistic, just the right mix of pleasure and pain, and has that satisfying tinge of sacrifice that makes things so heartbreakingly addictive.
I've never been encouraged to pursue this interest before, really. My parents, of course, despised it (though my dad ended up relaxing a bit when he saw how serious I was about wanting to actually become a tattoo artist, and mostly supports me in it now). My little sister was horrified. My ex was tolerant until he figured out he couldn't control what I did or did not want, and more or less banned them. My friends were all outwardly encouraging, but none of them have ever shared enough of an interest for me to geek out about it with them - though diedre has always been very supportive and was the main factor in keeping me from falling to pieces when my last apprenticeship fell through.
Now I'm in a town pretty much surrounded with tattoo shops of varying levels, specialities, and overall settings. 83 carrotwolf has been incredible with it - while he grew up similarly fixated on being a good kid and never thought of himself as the type to get tattoos or piercings, he's been very brave. Maybe it started out as just being a fantastic, supportive boyfriend...telling me almost daily that I can do anything I want with my body and he'll still find me beautiful, spending hours talking with me (mostly listening to me talking in circles) about tattoos, piercings, possibilities, and plans. But I think now it's fair to say he's as addicted as I am, at least with piercings. And of course it's been awesome having ajna helping me with art and inspiration when it comes to the actual tattoos - she helped me design the sleeve I'm currently in the process of getting. (half of it was outlined tonight!)
So far, I've put a bunch of holes into my body and gotten two (well, one and a half?) tattoos.
The List (in order):
1) One lobe piercing in each ear. Not currently gauged or in use :(
2) One black pawprint on my inner right wrist.
3) One lower right lip piercing.
4) One vertical hood piercing. (google if you don't know, but it's NSFW.)
5) One tongue piercing.
6) One microdermal piercing on my upper right wrist.
7) (half outlined) One leopard-print spot half-sleeve tattoo, right upper arm.
I have a lot more planned out, and hopefully once I get the rest of my body in line (losing weight, getting toned, and working on boob reduction) I can post pictures and not want to die. :D
I'm so fucking happy. <3
Sometimes I have bad days.
General | Posted 13 years agoNot as in, I'm unhappy. I'm pretty happy today. I've had a nice day overall - hung out with ajna, got some Magic: the Gathering stuff, now I'm settled in at home to spend some time with carrotwolf and play some Dishonored.
But physically I fucking hate myself today.
I'm wearing two bras to try to minimize my boobs and it just isn't enough - I still feel like I have a couple major deformities on my chest that drive me insane. I feel top heavy, overweighted, and besides that my ass and tummy feel huge and I just feel unbelievably ugly.
It's been rainy all day so it's muggy. I've worn a hoodie all day anyway just because I can't STAND feeling like my boobs or tummy are visible. The two bras I'm wearing are a size too small - they're CRUSHED against my chest, which makes them sore, and they're extra tight around my ribcage so it's hard to breathe and my chest hurts. The thought of taking even one bra off makes me feel almost panicked.
I'm dieting, exercising, and trying to improve my posture. Nothing is working, or at least nothing feels like it's working.
:( I'm just gonna cut them off. Ugh ugh ugh.
But physically I fucking hate myself today.
I'm wearing two bras to try to minimize my boobs and it just isn't enough - I still feel like I have a couple major deformities on my chest that drive me insane. I feel top heavy, overweighted, and besides that my ass and tummy feel huge and I just feel unbelievably ugly.
It's been rainy all day so it's muggy. I've worn a hoodie all day anyway just because I can't STAND feeling like my boobs or tummy are visible. The two bras I'm wearing are a size too small - they're CRUSHED against my chest, which makes them sore, and they're extra tight around my ribcage so it's hard to breathe and my chest hurts. The thought of taking even one bra off makes me feel almost panicked.
I'm dieting, exercising, and trying to improve my posture. Nothing is working, or at least nothing feels like it's working.
:( I'm just gonna cut them off. Ugh ugh ugh.
This community astonishes me.
General | Posted 13 years agoThe amount of times I've been treated poorly for being in a closed, heterosexual relationship, especially since I'm with Carrot who is apparently sex on legs to most gay furs, is too many for me to bother recounting in one journal.
But tonight is the first time I've actually been snapped at for sharing my experiences about it on a public journal posted by another user, simply because they didn't want to hear about discrimination and poor treatment from someone who isn't a gay man.
This is such a hypocritical situation. The person in question posted a journal about how happy they were that FA was completely tolerant of everyone, regardless of sexual choice, and how great it was that 99% of the community is gay and expects that of everyone else and how much they wished it was like that IRL. I responded with a friendly, non-argumentative point of that actually, there's a lot of discrimination toward women and hetero couples. That discrimination can come from either straight up mocking, cruelty, or rude remarks, or from a disregard of the couple's status as a closed partnership. I cited a few examples, and that was the end of it.
Their response was to absolutely lose their shit at me for saying the whole community is anti-females (which I definitely never said or implied) and that this journal was about them, not me or my friends and if they wanted me to comment they'd have talked about me in the journal. :I
Make fun of me if you want, but my feelings are fucking hurt. Sorry for commenting on a public journal on a subject I'm actually pretty passionate about?
Fuck you too.
But tonight is the first time I've actually been snapped at for sharing my experiences about it on a public journal posted by another user, simply because they didn't want to hear about discrimination and poor treatment from someone who isn't a gay man.
This is such a hypocritical situation. The person in question posted a journal about how happy they were that FA was completely tolerant of everyone, regardless of sexual choice, and how great it was that 99% of the community is gay and expects that of everyone else and how much they wished it was like that IRL. I responded with a friendly, non-argumentative point of that actually, there's a lot of discrimination toward women and hetero couples. That discrimination can come from either straight up mocking, cruelty, or rude remarks, or from a disregard of the couple's status as a closed partnership. I cited a few examples, and that was the end of it.
Their response was to absolutely lose their shit at me for saying the whole community is anti-females (which I definitely never said or implied) and that this journal was about them, not me or my friends and if they wanted me to comment they'd have talked about me in the journal. :I
Make fun of me if you want, but my feelings are fucking hurt. Sorry for commenting on a public journal on a subject I'm actually pretty passionate about?
Fuck you too.
TMI Tuesday?!
General | Posted 13 years agoASK ME ANYTHING :D
I god mah tong purfed
General | Posted 13 years agoEt hurds
But ah like how it lookth :'D
Carrot god hith purfed too. c: Hith lookth way bedder den mine, an' he'th talking way bedder den me too. My mouf an' tong urr thmaller den hith doe.
Picth ven it health a bit. ;w;
EDIT: Got it changed to a shorter barbell. The difference is amazing - this is barely any smaller but I am MUCH more comfortable, it took away at least half the pain, and I'm talking almost like normal. :D
But ah like how it lookth :'D
Carrot god hith purfed too. c: Hith lookth way bedder den mine, an' he'th talking way bedder den me too. My mouf an' tong urr thmaller den hith doe.
Picth ven it health a bit. ;w;
EDIT: Got it changed to a shorter barbell. The difference is amazing - this is barely any smaller but I am MUCH more comfortable, it took away at least half the pain, and I'm talking almost like normal. :D
Yes/No Meme
General | Posted 13 years ago1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No .
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages/comments you and asks. And believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming... things are not exactly as they seem.
3. It is harder than it looks, but no explanations. You will want to, but don't!
Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? --- Yes.
Been arrested? --- No.
Kissed someone you didn't like? --- Yes.
Slept in until 5 PM? --- No.
Fallen asleep at work/school? --- Yes.
Ran a red light? --- Yes.
Been suspended from school? --- No.
Experienced love at first sight? --- No.
Totaled your car in an accident? --- Yes.
Been fired from a job? --- No.
Fired somebody? --- No.
Sang karaoke? --- Yes.
Pointed a gun at someone? --- No.
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- Yes.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- Yes.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? ---Yes.
Kissed in the rain? --- Yes.
Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- Yes.
Seen someone die? --- Yes.
Played spin-the-bottle? --- No.
Sang in the shower? --- Yes.
Sat on a rooftop? --- Yes.
Taken pictures of yourself naked? --- Yes.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- No.
Skipped school? --- Yes.
Eaten a bug? --- No.
Sleepwalked? --- No.
Walked a moonlit beach?--- Yesssss.
Ridden a motorcycle? --- No.
Dumped someone? --- Yes.
Forgotten your anniversary? --- No.
Lied to avoid a ticket? --- No.
Ridden on a helicopter? --- No.
Shaved your head? --- No.
Blacked out from drinking? --- No.
Played a prank on someone? --- Yes.
Hit a home run? --- No.
Felt like killing someone? --- Yes.
Cross-dressed? --- Yes.
Been falling-down drunk? --- No.
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- Yes.
Eaten a snake? --- No.
Marched/Protested? --- No.
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- Yes.
Puked on amusement ride? --- No.
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- No.
Been in a band? --- No.
Knitted? --- Yes.
Been on TV? --- Yes.
Shot a gun? --- Yes.
Skinny-dipped? --- No.
Caused someone to need stitches? --- No.
Ridden a surfboard? --- No.
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? --- Yes.
Had surgery? --- Yes.
Streaked? --- No.
Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- No.
Passed out when not drinking? --- Yes.
Peed on a bush? --- No.
Donated Blood? --- No.
Grabbed electric fence? --- Yes.
Eaten alligator meat? --- No.
Eaten cheesecake? --- Yes.
Eaten kids' Halloween candy? --- Yes.
Killed an animal when not hunting? --- Yes.
Peed your pants in public? --- No.
Written graffiti? --- Yes.
Still love someone you shouldn't? --- No.
Think about the future? --- Yes.
Been in handcuffs? --- Yes.
Believe in love? --- Yes.
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- Yes.
Stolen from
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages/comments you and asks. And believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming... things are not exactly as they seem.
3. It is harder than it looks, but no explanations. You will want to, but don't!
Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? --- Yes.
Been arrested? --- No.
Kissed someone you didn't like? --- Yes.
Slept in until 5 PM? --- No.
Fallen asleep at work/school? --- Yes.
Ran a red light? --- Yes.
Been suspended from school? --- No.
Experienced love at first sight? --- No.
Totaled your car in an accident? --- Yes.
Been fired from a job? --- No.
Fired somebody? --- No.
Sang karaoke? --- Yes.
Pointed a gun at someone? --- No.
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- Yes.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- Yes.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? ---Yes.
Kissed in the rain? --- Yes.
Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- Yes.
Seen someone die? --- Yes.
Played spin-the-bottle? --- No.
Sang in the shower? --- Yes.
Sat on a rooftop? --- Yes.
Taken pictures of yourself naked? --- Yes.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- No.
Skipped school? --- Yes.
Eaten a bug? --- No.
Sleepwalked? --- No.
Walked a moonlit beach?--- Yesssss.
Ridden a motorcycle? --- No.
Dumped someone? --- Yes.
Forgotten your anniversary? --- No.
Lied to avoid a ticket? --- No.
Ridden on a helicopter? --- No.
Shaved your head? --- No.
Blacked out from drinking? --- No.
Played a prank on someone? --- Yes.
Hit a home run? --- No.
Felt like killing someone? --- Yes.
Cross-dressed? --- Yes.
Been falling-down drunk? --- No.
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- Yes.
Eaten a snake? --- No.
Marched/Protested? --- No.
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- Yes.
Puked on amusement ride? --- No.
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- No.
Been in a band? --- No.
Knitted? --- Yes.
Been on TV? --- Yes.
Shot a gun? --- Yes.
Skinny-dipped? --- No.
Caused someone to need stitches? --- No.
Ridden a surfboard? --- No.
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? --- Yes.
Had surgery? --- Yes.
Streaked? --- No.
Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- No.
Passed out when not drinking? --- Yes.
Peed on a bush? --- No.
Donated Blood? --- No.
Grabbed electric fence? --- Yes.
Eaten alligator meat? --- No.
Eaten cheesecake? --- Yes.
Eaten kids' Halloween candy? --- Yes.
Killed an animal when not hunting? --- Yes.
Peed your pants in public? --- No.
Written graffiti? --- Yes.
Still love someone you shouldn't? --- No.
Think about the future? --- Yes.
Been in handcuffs? --- Yes.
Believe in love? --- Yes.
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- Yes.
Stolen from
Well, it's official.
General | Posted 13 years agoGo away old journal
General | Posted 13 years agoget out of here nobody loves you anyway
how is everyone doing tonight?
how is everyone doing tonight?
Nervous :c
General | Posted 13 years agoFinally getting rid of this trouble tooth that's been bugging me for months and months now. ._.
Apparently my roots are weird though - they splay out at the ends or something, so they have to dig the tooth out instead of doing a normal extraction. :c Forever sad. I'm not looking forward to this.
Wish me luck. I'm scared! And upset about spending so much money on something so dumb. ;;
Apparently my roots are weird though - they splay out at the ends or something, so they have to dig the tooth out instead of doing a normal extraction. :c Forever sad. I'm not looking forward to this.
Wish me luck. I'm scared! And upset about spending so much money on something so dumb. ;;
Frustration (vent)
General | Posted 13 years agoSince I was a child I've been told that I do not work hard enough, that my work ethic needs improving, that I'm lazy and irresponsible and inferior in everything I do. My mom used to tell me all the time that I'd spend my whole life alone living in her basement since nobody would ever want to support me since my personality is so childish. (Meanwhile, she mooched off my dad and poured out his money like water, lol.)
My dad built himself as a businessman from the ground up, several times, pulled himself and my mother out of a horrible financial situation and worked his ass off to get where my family was blessed to be. I grew up watching him spend all day every day working frantically to not only make ends meet, but to keep us safe and happy and provide us with every little thing we wanted, let alone needed.
For a long time he's apologized every chance he can for not being around as much as he'd have liked to be when my sister and I were children. I think he feels genuinely bad about this on one hand, but most of the regret comes from my mom punching him in the balls with that one. Maybe he doesn't realize how perceptive of a child I was when it came to that, but I never felt that he was being neglectful or making himself too busy to be around us. I appreciate everything he did and I've known very consciously for my entire life that he sacrificed a lot of his own personal time and desires to provide us with the life we had.
This has bred something deep inside of me that pushes me to work harder and longer and better than everyone about me, which sounds like a good thing on one hand, but I'm starting to see why my dad gets teary-eyed when he apologizes for it. I've caused Carrot a lot of pain lately because of my overactive work ethic. If I'm not doing something to actively make us money, I feel as though I'm wasting time. I feel like I live my life between one shift and the next, and no matter how much money I make it is never enough. I have a lot of guilt complexes already for multiple reasons but this is one of the biggest ones - as many of you know, Carrot wasted a lot of money awhile back on a huge trip that I ditched out of childish fear. Finances are something I feel an obligation to take responsiblity for.
But I'm starting to scare myself. I don't feel overly ambitious or anything. But I'm starting to see how work is eating up my life, even when I'm home - I spend hours streaming, trying frantically to make up some impossible difference between the money we have and the money I feel we should have. There is no limit to how much I feel like I should be making. I am never doing well enough for myself and it depresses and upsets me. I get angry at myself for acting like my mother, but I have no qualms about acting like my dad? From lashing out when stressed about work to coming home miserable and not wanting to do anything, I worry that I'll cause the same reaction in my best friend and the love of my life that my dad had with my mother.
I'm scared, guys. I want to know how I can let go of this. I always knew I was more like my dad than I realized, and he tells me all the time that I've "got it honest" when it comes to my personality.
My dad built himself as a businessman from the ground up, several times, pulled himself and my mother out of a horrible financial situation and worked his ass off to get where my family was blessed to be. I grew up watching him spend all day every day working frantically to not only make ends meet, but to keep us safe and happy and provide us with every little thing we wanted, let alone needed.
For a long time he's apologized every chance he can for not being around as much as he'd have liked to be when my sister and I were children. I think he feels genuinely bad about this on one hand, but most of the regret comes from my mom punching him in the balls with that one. Maybe he doesn't realize how perceptive of a child I was when it came to that, but I never felt that he was being neglectful or making himself too busy to be around us. I appreciate everything he did and I've known very consciously for my entire life that he sacrificed a lot of his own personal time and desires to provide us with the life we had.
This has bred something deep inside of me that pushes me to work harder and longer and better than everyone about me, which sounds like a good thing on one hand, but I'm starting to see why my dad gets teary-eyed when he apologizes for it. I've caused Carrot a lot of pain lately because of my overactive work ethic. If I'm not doing something to actively make us money, I feel as though I'm wasting time. I feel like I live my life between one shift and the next, and no matter how much money I make it is never enough. I have a lot of guilt complexes already for multiple reasons but this is one of the biggest ones - as many of you know, Carrot wasted a lot of money awhile back on a huge trip that I ditched out of childish fear. Finances are something I feel an obligation to take responsiblity for.
But I'm starting to scare myself. I don't feel overly ambitious or anything. But I'm starting to see how work is eating up my life, even when I'm home - I spend hours streaming, trying frantically to make up some impossible difference between the money we have and the money I feel we should have. There is no limit to how much I feel like I should be making. I am never doing well enough for myself and it depresses and upsets me. I get angry at myself for acting like my mother, but I have no qualms about acting like my dad? From lashing out when stressed about work to coming home miserable and not wanting to do anything, I worry that I'll cause the same reaction in my best friend and the love of my life that my dad had with my mother.
I'm scared, guys. I want to know how I can let go of this. I always knew I was more like my dad than I realized, and he tells me all the time that I've "got it honest" when it comes to my personality.
Interesting
General | Posted 13 years agoLately a LOT of people have been mistaking me for a guy.
Til I turn around and they catch a glimpse of my chest, anyway.
I'm pretty okay with this :I
Til I turn around and they catch a glimpse of my chest, anyway.
I'm pretty okay with this :I
Ugh.
General | Posted 13 years agoSo I'm back from my trip to Maryland. That was pretty fun.
At the airport on the way back first they unpacked my ENTIRE meticulously packed suitcase and Carrot's backpack because apparently Xbox 360's now are supposed to be removed from carryons prior to security check. So we had to repack everything (took us an hour the first time) while rushing to make our flight.
Returned home to find my laptop charger broken from the flight (Carrot and I share one, we didn't take my laptop but we had to bring the charger). We finally figured out a solution there, by mixing broken chargers with working ones, and now that's okay but we're ordering some more just in case.
Oh, and my laptop is cracked. GREAT. Because I can really afford a new tablet PC right now. I don't even have a desktop to use in the meantime. :v
I'm so sick of things breaking. It's not like I'm hard on my stuff. I wasn't even HERE this weekend - I don't know what the hell could have possibly happened to it while I was away, and it was perfectly fine the day we left.
I'm tired. I just want things to work out well. This month is looking really positive for us financially; I'm finally making enough money to afford to eat the things I want and be able to take Carrot out for fun things every so often and not stress over rent and bills. I just want things to go easy for like one month, okay? 3: Then the hard stuff can come back.
At the airport on the way back first they unpacked my ENTIRE meticulously packed suitcase and Carrot's backpack because apparently Xbox 360's now are supposed to be removed from carryons prior to security check. So we had to repack everything (took us an hour the first time) while rushing to make our flight.
Returned home to find my laptop charger broken from the flight (Carrot and I share one, we didn't take my laptop but we had to bring the charger). We finally figured out a solution there, by mixing broken chargers with working ones, and now that's okay but we're ordering some more just in case.
Oh, and my laptop is cracked. GREAT. Because I can really afford a new tablet PC right now. I don't even have a desktop to use in the meantime. :v
I'm so sick of things breaking. It's not like I'm hard on my stuff. I wasn't even HERE this weekend - I don't know what the hell could have possibly happened to it while I was away, and it was perfectly fine the day we left.
I'm tired. I just want things to work out well. This month is looking really positive for us financially; I'm finally making enough money to afford to eat the things I want and be able to take Carrot out for fun things every so often and not stress over rent and bills. I just want things to go easy for like one month, okay? 3: Then the hard stuff can come back.
