and all the loving comments that went with it. Ugh, I don't think it's possible to restore so will upload again but right now I just want to go to the corner and cry over my stupidity.

first world problems, it's not end of world i know I know, but still hurts.

UPDATE

FA Admin was able to restore! Ah bless them, I'm so dumb with tech. T___T
Wasn't a good day so this mistake felt like it just compounded the weight, so I really appreciate your comments of support.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! = DDD

This October work had been hectic and exhausting but now that I finally feel rested and have free time I will get to all the overdue replies to comments and notes, I deeply apologize for keeping you waiting.

Dentist: "We can extract the molar for $300."

Me: "Ok."

Dentist: "But I highly recommend a root canal to save it. It's important to retain your molars as they do alot of the chewing work you might have trouble eating replacing is a complicated process bla bla...etc"

Me: "Yes, I agree, makes total sense. How much is that?"

Dentist: "Oh, it averages about $2000 more or less but could be more depending on..."

Me: "Take it out."

I just want to apologize, as I know I owe replies to several comments and notes for a long time now.
Not to go into details or excuses, I'm just going through stupid rough times which make me more and more recluse.
But I still intend to respond, not because I "have" to but because I want to. [ever felt like you want to do something but something mentally stops you like walls you in? So you just sleep instead, what else to do]

In case anyone noticed my account deactivation, I apologize if I left anyone hanging for long. I'm aware of the nice comments and notes that need replying and will get to soon enough.
I guess I needed some time away. I seem to be growing more and more closed off from the world, even my friends. It's come to a point where, I don't know, I just wish to disappear, be gone.

Then there is the art block, haven't been able to draw anything satisfactory for weeks. The fear of losing it [drawing ability] is real. I wonder if that is simply the result of my emotionless problem [there's more to it but not going to delve into it].

Anyways, while I don't really see anything changing soon, now that I'm sort of back I will try to be a little more due diligent here and maybe even upload some things soon.

THIS is the reason why my drawings NEVER leave my room~
Regardless, if they were discovered my reaction wouldn't be too far off as Mio's although probably with less skillful finesse...







And it's not like there's anything "far out" [is furry far out?] or NSFW stuff like porn in my fat binder but it's just... incredibly personal? Extremely private? I know they are posted here publicly but I mean it's anonymous for the most part, right?

I assume and hope not everyone is as tragically paranoid haha I've never been normal. x'D

Did you know there exists a furred potato swimming under the sands of southwestern Africa that's so beautiful it will leave you in awe?
Well if you clicked this journal, now you do!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgRt1uu1zBg

Now don't worry, if you don't live in the deserts of Africa, you might still be able to meet one of their distant cousins digging tunnels under your lawn as they are found on every continent except South America and yes, Antarctica [unless...]. https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/m.....Tn-1200-80.jpg

Spending their whole life underground, they are rarely seen. Some have tiny eyes or eyes covered under fur and skin that only detect light and shadow. But while they never discovered the light bulb, Moles developed an extremely sensitive, multitask nose for smell, touch and movement detection through the tiniest vibrations. This helps them pin point their prey of worms and grubs with accuracy and of which they eat their body weight every day. Imagine you eating your total weight in food daily. 130lbs of burgers? 160lbs of pizza?

Their huge and powerful front paws are literally shovels that help them swim over 3 feet underground and... well, there are too many cool facts to list here without writing a book! They are known as pests, but please don't kill them. Relocate them. They play an important part in the environment, are fricking cute and deserve all the love.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFrsQxxWS-U

If anyone is searching for an animated movie to watch, I highly recommend the Russian animated movies of Prince Ivan and the Gray Wolf.

Based on Russian fairy tales, the movies are colorful, witty, satirical, wonderfully random and just darn cute.
Of course, the best character is Volk [Wolf] who also narrates to the audience but all the characters, Prince Ivan, Princess Vasilisa, Scholar Cat, and all the others are equally as likable.

Unfortunately it's only in Russian as far as I can find on YT though that didn't stop me from enjoying it and somewhat understanding the plot.
My personal favorite is the second movie but you can start with the first, it doesn't really matter too much.

---

Prince Ivan and the Wolf 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRzEzLlD8Nk

Prince Ivan and the Wolf 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COG.....INJ2E&t=6s

This is a sad video to watch, but it's a critically rare and interesting observation how a male Coyote reacts to the death of one of their puppies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOlecQh96lQ

As the crew in the vehicle continue to observe, it looks like dad is trying to revive the dead pup by nipping at its neck but alas with no success. After a while he leaves to the rest of his family, but I wouldn't doubt if he came back multiple times to try again.

Not to end on a depressing note, here's some happier furry father's day videos.
Japanese Wolf and Pup are best of friends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHc.....s&index=55
Huskum's daddy duties
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7y.....x=130&t=0s
Tender Goldies <3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEM.....&index=123

Why look for a dog when you have a service animal right in your own backyard?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez7PNJ8TauI

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MEPearl is the opossum equivalent to the crazy cat lady, some call her brilliant others a whack job. x D
But seriously speaking, Ms. Georgette is a professional animal rehabilitator spreading awareness for all our neighborhood critters through satire accompanied by her opossum minions. It might be an acquired taste, but I LOVE her flamboyant and glamorous character akin to an elegant, early 20th century actress coupled to the funniest, unexpected dry humor.

Proper Oppossum Emergency Plan Preparedness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nDB_5dxzDM

Don't call Exterminator
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IAD2oC1w9g

It's a dark time, I want to help someone forget and smile if for a moment.
I highly recommend the channel CreekValleyCritters for all your heart warming, mousy shenanigans you can take.

Building a Nest
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yncBz_hJCzc

Baby Mouse Daycare
Note that baby mice tend to "popcorn", it's a funny behavior showing excitement.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9-ucYD1pg0

I am upset at furries who even on twitter never caught this freaking cute animated short of a Fox, Donkey and a boomerang.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wxs_WNwDJE

You're Welcome.

Porcupines are one of the saddest animals found in the animal kingdom because they will never know what it's like to be hugged. I don't know if it's for their spines and resulting unhuggableness that they are a species lacking in the furry world. A shame, few would expect how much personality they have and the love they deserve...

Here I was clicking on a random Porcupine video and the last thing I was expecting was for it to start "talking"!
As it turns out, they are surprisingly vocal to an adorable degree! Though it varies between individuals, some are more talkative than others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGz8jcbJjRw

This next conversational little guy is a lovable Coendu, or prehensile tailed porcupine called Kemosabe. <3
Unlike their North American brothers, Coendus live in the tree tops of the Central and South American jungles using their tails as a fifth hand.
Freaking cute but deadly, he's like a grumpy old man who nonetheless has great manners. If you listen closely at time 1:22 he clearly says "thank you!" for the blueberry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADI.....zCo0&t=86s

I recommend searching other porcupine videos to learn more about them like Kemosabe's Q&A. I hope they make your heart smile like they did mine. ❤

Do you guys know....

what it is like....

to have your soul searched.......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGgzDQ49xWI
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In all honesty though, it's hard not to fall in love with these little marsupials!
They bark like a little yorkie dog: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p32bmS6jJJE

And make a startling noise called "crabbing" when upset: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orXZd7QFayg

And of course, their piece de resistance, gliding! <3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZlrAFZwyDk

I just wanted to share because I was drowning in cuteness. Don't mind me, I die happy.
It takes great dedication and patience to win their trust, and their care is specialized so it's not a pet to take lightly like a cat or dog. But owners who are able to lovingly manage any exotic animal are rewarded wonderfully. For the rest of us, it's best to just sit back and enjoy them at length.

Just when you thought you've seen it all, the power of the internet strikes again. Here I am surfing car news content as per usual and then I come up to this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9v5LD493Kc4

Six female and 11 male rats were taught how to drive ROVs [Rat Operated Vehicles] as means to collect [fast] food. Even in changing circumstances they learned how to
steer and navigate the ROVs in new ways not used before, using two little copper bars which they operate with their paws akin to a steering wheel.
Interesting also is the fact that the activity tends to relax them, or more specifically it lowers chemicals that are drivers of stress, pun intended.
Though wait until they experience traffic jams, that low stress won't last long. x D

Article source: https://www.carscoops.com/2019/10/r.....d-it-relaxing/

Hello, I've never made a journal before but I just had to share this someway because pangolins. <3

https://lizclimo.tumblr.com/image/174384148894

Have a nice weekend, everyone [who finds this journal]!