When you learn of an amazing life event in your closest friend's life by stumbling upon it by accident... kinda wish I got to share some of the excitement, but now I can't even be happy for them because I feel left out.

If anyone else has a significant event happen in their life, please share so with me. I don't get to experience the shear joy for a friend when something amazing happens in their lives

But all the artists of whom I'd like to make me a new reference sheet(s) are closed. When I finally have a bit of money to spend, I can't find a single artist to do what I need. I bet they're all gonna open commissions when I can no longer afford it

On the market for a new reference sheet. Want Seregir to be more dragon-like. Who does realistic dragon refs for decent prices?

Was in the hospital for most of the night, been feeling drowzy, weak, dizzy for the past week and yesterday I passed out. So went to the er and waited there for close to 6 hours, had blood work done and all. It came back negative so the doctor assumes it's a bad butted virus.

I have keys for:

Star Wars Dark Forces
Star Wars Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II

Looking to see if anyone would like to trade for games or art

Anyone know anyone who accepts steam game codes for art? I have codes for Star Wars Dark Forces and Star Wars Jedi Knight Dark Forces II that I'd be willing to trade for art or maybe other game codes

You know, I've been hearing this from a few people quite often, sone if which are really dear to my heart, but I have to be honest and say that it is one of the worst lies you can ever say to my face. Seriously, if you really cared and missed me, you'd try to contact me. Many people have me on here, Facebook, Telegram, Skype, and text, if you honest to god miss me then why the fuck don't you try to get in touch? All my life, friendships have been a one way street for me. I had to be the one to message, I had to be the one to instigate in any form. Whenever someone I message says "I missed you", the first thing that comes to my mind is "are you sure? You never seem to show any means of wanting to keep in touch." I don't want to rant, but I really need to get this off my chest. Just please, if you miss me, don't wait a day, a week, a month before I message you. I don't care if Skype says I'm offline or anything, please Sen a message anyway. That way it affirms that you really do care and that you do miss me. It is in fact a good way to make me want to keep in touch more often.

Anyone have any spare steam key codes lying around? I'll take em. Particularly looking for Primal Carnage

College starts tomorrow, I feel a headache coming on, but at least I'm prepared!!!!!

Thank you again to all my supporters

OMG!!!!!!
Thank you so much to everyone who donated. Despite opposition, I have made my goal of $400 and have purchased a decent enough laptop to do all of my school work on. Thank you to everyone who took the time to support me. I love you all!!!!

---Thank you  forerunner777 for helping with this journal---

"I know my friend  bf109 has been having his ups and downs, and his recent journal has been rather wantin.

But truth be told, the a majority of you may not know that he is just trying to get by. He needs a new computer for college, which doesn’t seem like such a requirement. But the one he has cannot even handle the current work load of a MS word 2010 (trust me, I have been working on it for some time now, and the specs are horrible and non-upgradable.)

He’s asking for help in getting one, not only because its required for most of his classes, but also because he needs to start on Commissions (as a work in progress concept), pay what you want, ect to help earn at least some form of income to help him and his family (which at this point only consists of himself, his mother, and two brothers. And while he has been looking for a job up and down, even handing in hand written and typed recommendations from friends, teachers, family, ect, and has gotten one. His current job is part time substitute custodial. It is an on call job meaning he is an extra that would be the first to be first should things not go well, and has any checks earned heavily taxed (over 33%) They have not called him to work since mid December.

Having spent about five years searching for one myself and got a lucky break due to a fairly well-known figure of the town I live in; handing in the typed letter of recommendation to help me out in the interview. I can say firsthand the getting a job while also in college is a very difficult thing to work with and/or around.

So let’s put the pitch forks, torches, guns, blades, nukes and what have you away for the time being. And accept the facts that that sometimes we all lose our shit when trying to ask for help. And while he will continue to look for better jobs while working on college (by force if necessary), it would not go unappreciated if you gave him a hand up. Spreading news of a man in need is okay, money is good; a hand up by possibly getting him a better job opening near his location would be the best.

And let’s not judge him for the fool he made of himself not but a few moments ago even if it were well deserved, but let us all set aside whatever we can to help each other out for a while. For I know that a lot of you could certainly have used some help some time ago, and it is frustration to no end when you see everyone around you having some form of success while you fall apart.

Anything that could help would not go amiss nor without notice or gratitude: mikegillespie104[at]gmail.com "

 forerunner777

Spring semester starts February 16, I will be taking courses that will require me to have a personal laptop do me to do my work on. Please, I'd like to ask for any donations to help me obtain a reasonable machine for my classes, which will be Photoshop and 3DS Max + it's continues studies down the line. You can donate to my PayPal at mikegillespie104[at]gmail.come I would also appreciate any suggestions as to what wold be a good laptop for me to look into as photography and videogames are my passion and I wish to enter into that field of work.

Till spring semester starts... don't think I'm gonna be able to get a laptop for my classes at this rate. I'm close to just giving up on everything, I can't do this on my own. I feel like a failure in life, that maybe everyone would be better off without me in their lives (not like anyone tries to keep me in their lives to begin with anyway) Wanted to try and be more active on here, but I've lost sight of the point and really don't seem to care to try anymore.

Despite being unable to get pics, want to try to be a little more active here, soooooo...

TMI TUESDAY
Ask me anything and everything

Each passing day gets me more and more anxious and stressed, I can't take my classes without a decent laptop and I can't drop out or I'll choke on student debt. Only had one donation to my laptop fund and I don't believe they sell Photoshop and 3DS Max worthy laptops for $50. I'm sure if people can get free hand out for bad dragon toys, that I can get some sort of funding for a school laptop. Please don't to my PayPal at mikegillespie104[at]gmail.com to help support me passing my classes.

Seriously, why is it in every raffle I talk myself into entering, has either a popufur of a friend/mate/pet/master of the artist always coming out as the winner?

I don't know where you all came from, but thank you so much!!! Makes me so happy when I get new people interested enough in my fursona that they find me worthy of a watch.

I hope some of you can be good friends

If anyone is interested, yes I RP

Semester starts I little over a month, taking a couple online classes alongside some classes on campus. I need a laptop that can handle Photoshop and 3DS Max, so if I have any friends out there, I'm begging for some small donations to buy a decent enough laptop to fet me through the rest of college. Please, I could really use some support for once.

So I was able to put aside my classes that required me to have a laptop last semester. However, this is the last year I can stay in community college, meaning I must take those classes spring semester in order to take the advanced classes in fall. I'm fucked, so fucked. I feel so helpless, no one has no clue.

Thinking of closing the account, no one talks to me anymore so I feel like a lot if people on there didn't consider me to be an actual friend, just nothing more than a screen name that the can try to yiff.

I want a Christmas card, I didn't get any last year and no one's offered to send any this year. Would anyone like to send me one? It would make me so happy

I want to get something for someone I really care about, If you'd like to donate a bit of change, my PayPal is under mikegillespie104[at]gmail.com

Have a happy one, yeah

I love you guys!!!

I either hardly say it, or never do, but I just want to let you all know that I appreciate you all for sticking around, even through my mood swings. Hugs and kisses to all my friends.

Tried offering simple headshots to raise some money for my photography class and all I get is insults on my skills. It's bad enough when I have to convince myself that my art is ok, but when people give me shit over it then I don't want to bother ever picking up a pencil ever again.