The need to provide is still there. Innately, I've a lot I want to give to a special someone.

However, for a while, I was left... doubtful of long-distance. wasn't sure if I wanted to jump into more long-distance right after coming out of one such relationship.

However, the more time passes, the more I realize I do want that interaction, and that I can make things happen, regardless of distance. I just need to find "the one" again.

I'm not 100% sure why I'm thinking it out loud - perhaps in the hopes of meeting new people, perhaps to encourage some to make moves.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11205953
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11205953
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11205953

In the words of - "number go up"! Still find it astounding to see so many follow my online degeneracy! x3

Thank you everyone for your interest, comments and support!

...But you know what that means!

RAFFLE TIME! Prize is, as is tradition, your part in a piece with me, paid!

SFW or NSFW - if I don't hate the idea, I'll make it happen, and pay for the winner's spot! I'll try to accommodate with the artist of your choice, or I can suggest some! Usually, I have a "soft cap" of 300USD for these!

Only requirement is to watch me (new watchers are welcome!), and leave a comment here so I can give you a number!

Bonus this time! If you live in North America, I will also draw a separate winner, who will receive a treats care package, courtesy of my coffee brand, Entropic Elixirs! I will allow you to pick and choose up to 75CAD worth of coffee, tea, chocolate or hot chocolate, delivered to your door! Mention you would like to participate in your comment!

I simply ask that you do come ready with at least some sort of idea! if you need some ideas, Entropy's This and Deya's F-Lists are there to help! I don't have one set up for Geode, Carbide or Project Cynical (coming soon!), but feel free to ask!

ADDITIONALLY, I will give you an extra # if you share this journal in a journal of your own! Please link it in your comment!

To make sure you've read this, I wanna know your favorite dessert! Despite loving to make tiramisu, I'd have to say mine is a simple strawberry shortcake, perfect summer treat!

Raffle ends in three weeks from now - September 18th, 2025, at ~12PM EST. Good luck!

Introducing today... a selection of teas! From classics like Earl Gray and Iron Goddess oolong to wild blends like Matespresso, along with summery fruit herbals like Orange Lemonade, you are bound to find your elixir!

Check the initial picks [with more to come!] at entropic-elixirs.square.site/ !

Additionally, you will see that the labels, especially for coffee, have gotten a bit of a makeover! Thank you  obaum for the lovely new labels!

Hello hello! It appears that I will be present AND vending at both FurEh! [Edmonton, AB, July 17th-20th] and CanFURence [Ottawa, ON, August 1st-3rd]!

I will bring some Entropic Elixirs wares to vend at both, so if you attend either, be on the lookout for tasty treats!

If you wished to see me at either con, do let me know!

Hello hello!

Since the last time I've updated you, I have been hard at work producing all sorts of fun, wacky new chocolate bars, expanding the coffee varieties, and sourcing new components for hot chocolate!

The chocolate in particular tends to sell out rather quickly, as I make them in small batches! If some flavors interest you, don't wait too long!

I will likely have to suspend Europe shipping for a bit, as CanadaPost threatens to go on strike. However, for those in Canada and the US, things proceed as normal! You've got many a treat awaiting you on the store!

https://entropic-elixirs.square.site
https://entropic-elixirs.square.site
https://entropic-elixirs.square.site

Hello hello!

Just a simple regular reminder that I tend to be most active on my own Discord server! I am also on Telegram, both of those usernames are bill_entropy!

You can also find art posts mirrored on BlueSky.

Naturally, if you desire some coffee and other treats, I also tend to talk about new things and progress on Discord first! Do keep an eye on the Square site as well for new items! Always trying out new and wacky things!

You aren't going to believe this.

BOTH numbers I pulled, from two separate windows, were #22! That means...

 virul wins the art raffle, and  alienwarek wins the Entropic Elixirs raffle!

Thank you all for participating, and until next time!

This year has been an interesting one. I would resume the ups and downs in two elements for each.

The first "down" was the tragic loss of my remaining IRL friends - through the greed, manipulation, deception and growing insanity of one. A friend of old decided that Internet fame and attention was worth more than long-term friendships. I encourage you to read this poem and accompanying piece to that effect. I cut ties with that friend in January, after dropping the rose-tinted glasses.

The second "down" was a very disappointing ending to a great job prospect. In talks with a federal department for months, had a sort of internship to ease the process... Then they decide, 3 months after they've had all info, that "I haven't produced enough scholarly papers", and drop the job offer. A real shame, but I still have my job, and the only "memory" is the car I acquired specifically for that job.

On the flipside, two main positives came out of this year. The first is that, fir the first time in my life, I managed to work on myself. I've lost 35lbs / 16kg since the beginning of the year, mostly thanks to exercise and eating discipline. It feels good to have to change your entire pants wardrobe because you're that much slimmer.

The other positive is, as you might've guessed, Entropic Elixirs - my own little small business. Managed to scramble to get everything done in 4 weeks to test the waters at CanFURence, and went from there! I'm now launching hot chocolate very, very soon, and might have even more chocolatey adventures coming in the near future...!

As usual, I would like to thank some individuals that made my year better.

 sanityisforthesane and  rationelle

First of all, I must thank you for bugging my ass about the business. You were right, it isn't that hard! I'm pretty sure that if Nelle had not been insistent, Entropic Elixirs would not exist. I will also give shoutouts to , and for helping bring the packaging to life!

 saybin~iacere

I know I should poke you a lot more, that's on me. Still, I must thank you for one VERY important thing.

If I had to pin down the one catalyst to me caring about my body and working to make it better, it is definitely you. Seeing you go from flabby to a hunk of a man is really motivating, and seeing your progress all but cemented my desire to do the same. You should be really proud of what you've accomplished, friend.

 mcfan,  kuribon,  azrryn and  syranoth_emberscale

Of the people I've met or started talking to more this year, you four make up a great chunk of it, and all for different and equally valid reasons! Thank you for letting me ramble on about anything and everything XD

 johnnythecheesy

...and you get an extra special mention! So much banter to be had over this silly music rating project! I think you alone have managed to raise my mood for most of the year, even though you might not realize it. Know that I really appreciate you.

 siriusthegoat89

There are times why I wonder why you still put up with me, and when you'll just abandon me XD

Confidant, moral support, venting hole... I could give you many qualifiers, but I think "amazing friend" encompasses all of them. Though the good and bad, I can always count on you being there, being grounded in your advice and being supportive in what I do. I can't thank you enough.

 takkju

BITES YOU BITES YOU BITES YOU BITES YOU BITES Y--

Despite getting the crappiest weather both ways, I am glad I got to see you this year. I don't know what I would do without you.

...aaaaand some other notable people I talked to a lot / met this year!

 thaz |  zano1 |  dragonslover |  skaar |  taghyrt
 worres |  eyeoculus |  thealaskandragon |  gl00 |  yeoldeoyster
 sdis78 |  mariovstoad |  knou |  ceraferis |  bellanalladormi

Another revolution around the silly star! You'd think one gets good at it after a while! It's been an interesting year (except some ranting in my year retrospect) to say the least!

Thank you everyone for your interest, comments and support!

...But you know what that means!

RAFFLE TIME! Prize is, as is tradition, your part in a piece with me, paid!

SFW or NSFW - if I don't hate the idea, I'll make it happen, and pay for the winner's spot! I'll try to accommodate with the artist of your choice, or I can suggest some! Usually, I have a "soft cap" of 300USD for these!

Only requirement is to watch me (new watchers are welcome!), and leave a comment here so I can give you a number!

Bonus this time! If you live in North America, I will also draw a separate winner, who will receive a coffee care package, courtesy of my coffee brand, Entropic Elixirs! You can choose 4 bags of coffee and 2 of hot chocolate (coming soon!) of your choice, delivered to your door! Mention you would like to participate in your comment!

I simply ask that you do come ready with at least some sort of idea! if you need some ideas, Entropy's This and Deya's F-Lists are there to help! I don't have one set up for Geode, Carbide or Project Cynical (coming soon!), but feel free to ask! You can also include my boyfriend  takkju if you need extra dragons!

To make sure you've read this, let me know about some of your favorite artists I might not have heard of! More variety never hurts, and this could be a nice collection to myself or to others!

ADDITIONALLY, I will give you an extra # if you share this journal in a journal of your own! Please link it in your comment!

Raffle ends in three weeks from now - January 2nd, 2025, at ~6PM EST. Good luck!

THIS IS NOW CLOSED, THANK YOU!

There are times where I wonder "What would make my OCs tick? What do they represent?" Some of you might have such questions too, or at least wondered if there is lore attached to them. Therefore, this is meant to be a little explanation of what's in my mind related to current and future OCs.

Thinking back on it, I'd say there are three things I wish to accomplish with any given OC.

1. I want all OCs to explore a facet of "Never lose sight of who you are", in a way that defines their lore and propensities (potentially in a future novel!);
2. I have every OC explore new art facets, be it themes, kinks, or others;
3. I ensure that every OC is symbolically linked to a music track I enjoy, to make it more personal.

Therefore, let us go through all 4 current OCs in this fashion!

Entropy

1. Losing oneself through growing more popular, or "bigger". I am extremely sensitive to the issue, having seen many close friends succumb to this personally. Two main "bad endings" in the lore: "outgrowing the world" [NSFW], where Entropy would destroy his host world through falling victim to "just grow", and the "corruption" ending, where such growth fully consumes him, and like a virus, makes him mean-spirited, a bloodthirsty beast, a shadow of his former self. This is directly linked to a personal experience I've had with an ex-friend.
2. As this is my main, there isn't anything particular, but growth and macro tend to be aspects I frequently explore with Entropy.
3. Two tracks that are namesaked: one from Mr. FijiWiji and Direct, and one from Rameses B.

Deya

1. Losing oneself through power hunger. Somewhat related to Entropy (hence the sort of relationship between the two), and the "bad ending" is that she goes megalomaniac, a cruel goddess only looking for what others can give her.
2. Her "lewd abilities" [should be depicted soon!] is something that plays right into this, and the more "mean" side of macro is to be explored! Given her strength of will, femdom usually plays nicely here.
3. One namesake track, from Televisor!

Geode

1. Losing oneself through unwavering loyalty and lack of critical thinking. I intend to depict Geode as an inseparable companion to Entropy, one that will, eventually and unfortunately, follow him through the darkest paths at times. There is to be a kind of "realization" from the beast, though not before committing reprehensible acts through rose-tinted glasses.
2. I do intend to depict Geode as a form of "more than a pet", if that makes sense, and going through some of the things Entropy would go through.
3. Somewhat of a stretch, but the track here is Gems by Notaker.

Carbide

1. Losing oneself through falling behind the times / behind the curve. Lore-wise, I intend to depict him as the main character interacted with in time travels to the past, one that can communicate with spirits and speak their objections. In fact, the name is derived from a potential solution for eternal data storage based on... silicon carbide!
2. Hypnosis, ghost / disembodied limbs, occult / tribal themes and loincloths! Seems only fitting for someone "stuck in the past"!
3. Cryptomnesia by Kamaya Painters. Oldest track I like to listen to, and with a name that ties into the concept! Additionally, I will add both the Gregory Esayan and Angara mixes of Sun - I think they reflect well on the rise and fall from more primitive living.

Additionally, I will describe my intentions with future OCs!

"Project Cynical" [Andromeda]

This will some form of alien creature, intersex, with design elements from marine wildlife and some other cool designs I've seen about! I realized I had no OC linked to my favorite music track, so I got to thinking, this was the result!

1. Losing oneself through complacency, AND through losing faith in people. Distractions are necessary, but shouldn't overtake your life. This is also related to the other week's journal, and will be depicted as this OC fearing nothing new, but with a tendency to only seek distractions rather than pursue their original goal - which I've slated to be "seek coexistence solutions for their war-torn, far-flung world" - the reason for their distrust of living beings. This OC would be encountered in the future, when intergalactic travel becomes possible.
2. Tentacles, weird tech, space travel, among other things! This OC will be meant to explore more "out there" topics - in most senses of the term!
3. Two of my favorite tracks of all time. Cynical by Mr. FijiWiji and Universe by Eminence.

"Project Transformations"

A kobold lady who's shy, reserved and easily flustered, with a propensity to transform into a majestic wyvern - though the origin of that gift remains to be discovered...

1. Not daring to be your true self / holding back your own potential. A problem that likely rings true to many, and that certainly did ring true for me in the past. This will be reflected through the contrast between the shy lady and the sudden spurts of wyvern TF (sudden bursts of her "true self").
2. Obviously transformation, but may also become a channel for introspective / sad art - not 100% sure yet!
3. Two more tracks by Rameses B, complimenting the other. Full Force and (you guessed it!) Transformations.

Maybe some day, I'll get off my ass and write a book about all those lessons I so wish to write about.

I've witnessed many a toxic community, people that seem to get offended for unrealistic, delusional causes, some that only live for the Internet points, and I probably am forgetting many more distasteful characters. I've been feeling a need to vent out some "what the fuck are those people thinking?" as of late. Since I have free time waiting to fly to  takkju, seems like a good occasion to "think out loud."

Naturally, one will wonder why people act the way they do, and discussing such cases with some friends, an interesting analogy came up.

The TL;DR is: The Internet is much like a drug. Some uses are beneficial, some uses are detrimental, and there are ABSOLUTELY people who should consider getting help for their addiction.

Of course, there are positive uses. I'll start by making a parallel to gaming, especially online, to alcohol.

The "social drinking" equivalent would be, say, getting together with friends to have a good time stomping some creatures, mining some rocks, making gun go pew, what have you.

The "epicurean drinking" equivalent might be to try any and all game, achievement hunting, anything that lets you explore "everything there is to offer".

There's nothing wrong with enjoying a cold one at home. __However__, there comes a point where too much of a good thing can hamper your relationships with people, and there comes a point where it can be labeled an addiction. That might manifest, here, as being considered a no-lifer, getting overly emotional over online games (cue toxic online communities), and it occupying too much of one's life.

I could also make a parallel to specifically VR gaming and hallucinogens in this community in particular. While I'm less experienced there... I still blame VR addiction, "living in a virtual reality" and "trying to be someone or something else" as partly to blame for one of my last IRL friendships ending.

You can likely equate the sex-forward nature of this community to something like pot / cannabis. It's less directly harmful, and there can be some positive to come out of it. Some people can and will bond over it. The health effects are often less, however...

There may come a point where that weaker addiction and the fact that "it's not dangerous" can make it your main personality trait. I'm likely thinking of stereotypical potheads here, but I think the analogy is good.

Now that may come as a surprise to some of you, but as of late, I've kind of gotten annoyed a lot at people that seem to just talk sex. Every day, in multiple servers, on so many posts, constantly. It tends to make servers feel like a constant copulation zone, and it's discouraging to try and interact into. Not to mention those that go straight to "hi do u RP?!"...

A very similar logic applies to SFW RP and "cutesy UwU" talk that seems typical of some. Ok fine, to each their own, but like... An adult constantly talking like that is, to me... I dunno, wild? Disconnected from reality? Questionable even? I feel like doing anything of the sort outside this community would get me all the weirded out looks on Earth.

I could likely make other parallels - one that comes to mind is trying to get popular being... A much harder drug, which I've experienced firsthand. Another would be just general social media addiction being akin to tobacco / cigarette. I think the point is made, however.

The most important part, however...

Sometimes you just need to ask trusted people, and they'll show you it's possible to break free.

I've experienced this a LOT lately. A lot of "see? This wasn't so hard!"

First, it was  saybin~iacere that, with keeping people posted on his swimming, made me realize that exercise isn't that hard once you get into it. As a result, I've lost over 15kg / 35lbs since May. I've cut my running times by nearly half through dedication and exercise.

Then, it was  rationelle who, around the time when I picked up my suit (btw check out his mate  sanityisforthesane if you want one!), was talking business ideas. He's made their own little merch store work, and while talking, he went "make a business out of your coffee! I'm sure furry coffee would be cool!" Lo and behold, in 4 weeks, Entropic Elixirs was born, in time to sort of debut at CanFURence. I'm even sampling hot chocolate now!

I could likely find other hobby examples, but it really doesn't have to be hard, or complex, or laborious. Ask your friends and trusted ones. There is no way that no one you know has nothing cool to suggest.

As a final note, in this day and age on the Internet, I would just like you to remember one very important thing in your interactions. Because there is already too much negativity on the Internet...

Remember the human.

Quick edit before flight departs, with a music video I think is relevant (blame  johnnythecheesy).

https://youtu.be/jQd9nI69ND8?si=1XhQ_hTHr-I1RP_j

Hello hello!

I have had many requests to ship out some of my coffee and such to Europe with Entropic Elixirs. However, with shipping costs being what they are, it seems... like a bad value at best.

The idea I was having is thus: there's bound to be some furry coffee roaster in Europe that I can send said people to!

As I'll be in Germany quite soon, I I was thinking I would ask if any of you know such roasters! I'd be interested in a product exchange, so I can, in good confidence, say "go buy from those guys if you're in Europe!"

I'll be waiting for your suggestions!

Hello hello!

Just a simple yearly reminder that I have my own Discord server, the place where I am the most present and where I keep all my friends hostage!

https://discord.gg/jQzS4Ub4Gy

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58328810/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58328810/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58328810/

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/57989871/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/57989871/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/57989871/

My friend  travon has this nice breeding animated YCH on now!

A little hellhound birdy tells me that if you get a bottom slot, you may ask for Entropy to rail you... :3c

Hello hello! I come with some need of recommendations for a new OC project!

I will be looking into an alien creature - something that might look humanoid, but also looks "otherworldly".

I stumbled upon a good example of something close to what I'm eyeing [NSFW, BSky link]: https://bsky.app/profile/alienpoosy...../3kqr6zbt7jc2n

I would be grateful for design artists you may know for such a project!

Whelp, this will have been... an interesting few months.

Three big obstacles have arisen as of late. Let's go over them in order of importance, least to most.

First... side gigs drying up hard. I've always had a knack for computers, parts and the like, and for a few years, I've been straight up buying salvage parts to refurbish, test, resell... A lot of fun, and lucrative fun at that! Unfortunately, not only did my "source" of salvage just stop selling, but the market for PCs has been godawful in general since March, meaning it's now unsafe to even... build PCs these days, even with crazy deals on parts.

Second... I was basically promised a job. Federal position, was "a sure thing" and "only a matter of time" for MONTHS. I was in talks with them since December, and everything seemed A-OK until mid-June. After meeting the chief researcher, silence... Until I was announced the bad news. Three months after I made it known, they SUDDENLY decide that me not having peer-reviewed and published papers is an issue for the position, and decide not to go through. They say they'll move me to an IT / programmer position, before quickly ditching on that, too. Thankfully, I didn't quit my still-current job, but I did acquire a car in anticipation of the new job. So where I expected more $ per month, I end up with several hundreds LESS instead.

And third... Family affairs.

One month ago, one of my grandmas was admitted to the hospital.

Last week, I learned that she is requesting medical assistance in dying. Final goodbye is Thursday at the latest. There isn't much to be done - Stage 4 (intestinal? colorectal?) cancer. I perhaps wasn't that close with that side of the family, but the suddenness of it all... still took us all aback. It'll be a rather sad, demanding few weeks.

And yet, the world must keep turning.

Despite all the setbacks, minor and major, one must keep pushing on. Despite all of the setbacks... I think this is some of the happiest I've felt in a long while. It's the little things.

Despite that job kerfuffle, and despite the horrendous NA market for comp sci jobs, I still have work in my field that's relatively safe. Heck, I can now also lay claim to a master's degree, too!

I have rumblings that this side gig of computer parts and such might pick back up soon, plus the winter is usually a higher season for PCs, so fingers crossed on that front.

I've finally gotten myself in shape, managed to consistently kick myself in the butt to run every 2 days, and throw in body weight exercises throughout. I've lost 25 pounds / 11kg since May. It's been over half a decade since I've been so light. Having friends call you "sexy" is... certainly encouraging.

I've managed to turn around on a dime, and within four weeks, managed to make Entropic Elixirs a reality. I made a debut at Canfurence, and despite my lack of promotional material (blame the time crunch)... I still sold over 30 bags of coffee, with little plans. I'd call that a successful first outing. Working on more (including hot chocolate, stay tuned for that!), and I'll try to keep that going.

I reckon the moral of the story (if you can call it that)... keep fighting. Life is bound to take a few jabs at you. It's up to you to keep your resolve up and keep fighting and doing what you do best. Perseverance can and will bring you far.

The world keeps turning, even if sometimes, your world feels like it's coming to a halt.

https://entropic-elixirs.square.site/#items

My website is now LIVE! I have a few more bags from my initial batch to sell, and I can ship anywhere in North America!

Yes, do absolutely do it if you wanted to! I might be busy these days, what with the coffee project and such, but I will try and chat you up when I can!

HOWEVER, and the reason why I make this journal

Please do not come into DMs (on any platform, and especially not on ALL OF THEM) asking if I [E]RP, thirsting over my OCs 24/7, and in general just talking because of the art.

Yes, I am a lewd fuck, more than I'd like to admit. Yes, I will chat about art gleefully.

But I tend to dislike what I call "one trick ponies", those who are only there to be horny. Show me you're an interesting person! Talk about other things that might interest you, and about diverse subjects!

I WILL clam up if all you do is thirst. I'm usually bad at telling people, but please - consider the human behind the screen too, not just the OCs.

The winner this time is...

# 61 -  sugar.rush is our winner!

Thank you all for participating, and until next time!

Next big raffle, as per silly arbitrary Fibonacci, will be at 3400!

THIS IS NOW CLOSED, THANK YOU!

One more Fibonacci-esque step forward now - we've reached 2100 watchers! Always great to just socialize with folks, we get art to symbolize it, and people just going "yo, I like this"!

Thank you everyone for your interest, comments and support!

...But you know what that means!

RAFFLE TIME! Prize is, as is tradition, your part in a piece with me, paid!

This one will be another major raffle. I am holding the raffle over 4 weeks, with a minor prize every week! I am raffling three minor prizes:

A colored sketch from  alduinred, similar to this one, for instance
A full-body from  behane, in the styles of this one
A headshot from the artist of your choice [up to a "soft cap" of 80USD]


Winners will be able to choose their preferred prize in order! I will update the winners list at the bottom!

SFW or NSFW - if I don't hate the idea, I'll make it happen, and pay for the winner's spot! I'll try to accommodate with the artist of your choice, or I can suggest some! Usually, I have a "soft cap" of 300USD for these!

Only requirement is to watch me (new watchers are welcome!), and leave a comment here so I can give you a number!

I simply ask that you do come ready with at least some sort of idea! if you need some ideas, Entropy's This and Deya's F-Lists are there to help! I don't have one set up for Geode, but feel free to ask! You can also include my boyfriend  takkju if you need extra dragons!

To make sure you've read this, let me know about some of your favorite games! Be they video games, board games, or even sports, I wanna hear!

ADDITIONALLY, I will give you an extra # if you share this journal in a journal of your own! Please link it in your comment!

Raffle fully ends in four weeks from now - July 23rd, at ~6PM EST. Good luck!

Week 1 winner:  momo0000 [Behane FB - See here!]

Week 2 winner:  randomperson339 [Alduin sketch]

Week 3 winner:  maho-gato [Headshot of choice]

Week 4 / main prize winner:  sugar.rush

https://x.com/sanityfursuits/status.....0SDZw&s=19
https://x.com/sanityfursuits/status.....0SDZw&s=19
https://x.com/sanityfursuits/status.....0SDZw&s=19

Hello hello!

I have acquired some new stickers courtesy of  soldtilidie! https://www.furaffinity.net/view/57019520/

Another 5 are coming, and all of them will be uploaded to my home server and Telegram sticker pack, both of which you can find in my Linktree!

Hello hello!

Now that I don't have silly things such as classes being in the way, I intend to start working on OC lore quite a bit more!

To that effect, and for those interested, I have made my Google Docs open for all to see, so you can see where my head is at, what kind of things I want to recount, and how I wanna spin that story! I might turn it into a full novel, who knows?

I'll be more than happy to hear some feedback, criticism, questions, insults and similar!