First things first: I've got a room at the main hotel of Anthrocon, currently occupied by myself,  kazekoe, and  ikaz. The stay is from Thursday, July 3rd, until Monday, July 7th. We have room for one, possibly two people there to help lower the room costs. If you're interested, please send me a note.

Otherwise, things have been quiet here. I've just been fixing up the house bit by bit, getting more used to my office life, and trying my hardest to stay sane with everything going on.

I joined another Pathfinder game, so you might see some new Shenanigans journals soon.

I've also started playing Wildstar. I'm on the Mikros server if anyone is interested in playing together. Primarily the Exiles side, but I do have one Dominion character. I'd love to have some more company there, and I'd be happy to tank or heal for you in a dungeon.

That's all for now. Unfortunately I'm kind of exhausted at the moment, so I don't really have a lot of stamina to post a long "life update" journal at the moment. Suffice to say, I'm getting by, and very excited to be part of another Anthrocon. Hope to see you guys there!

Last night's Pathfinder session (the one where I'm a player, not the DM) went a bit off the rails right from the start. The DM didn't have the next dungeon prepared, so we instead went on a sidequest in a published module. Hence, the DM decided to plug the module into his own world and turn us loose to stop a cult. It didn't go as well as planned. It wasn't a complete catastrophe like previous sessions had been, but it was still a good study on what players like and don't like in a game. Read on for tales of NPC Dicks, paranoia, and my first alignment shift.

Going Chaotic

When we started the session, we learned that for our little sidequest, we'd be headed to a desert town. So I start with a little roleplay of buying climate-appropriate clothing, horses, extra food, and water. It takes us about an hour to do all of that, mostly because no one could agree on a method of transportation. I just wanted to rent some horses and ride there, the other summoner wanted to use his wings and fly instead of getting a horse (which would have put him 14 miles behind us each day), and our magus pondered whether we could find a boat to cross a small lake that spanned the distance between our present location and the destination. Now ordinarily, these kinds of inquiries would be good - the DM could have all sorts of nasty things prepared for us on the main road or in the water. But here the DM had already bluntly told us that this was something prepared on short notice because he didn't have the real campaign ready. Furthermore, it was mostly us speculating on how we'd get there - the DM hadn't even asked. Context clues like that indicate that there's nothing between us and our destination no matter what route we take, so for the sake of convenience, the discussion should really have taken 20 minutes, tops.

We get to the town and find that it's in the middle of a festival. This is kind of a nice touch, as none of us had been expecting this kind of thing, and a little break from the typical adventuring would be most welcome. Except that in this festival, commoners are throwing splashes of dye in both powder and liquid form over virtually everyone. It is a festival of colors, so it makes sense, but we're adventurers - people throwing unknown substances in our direction is universally treated as hostile. Plus, we were coming to the town to deal with effectively the Dark Brotherhood, an assassin cult. Given that we'd already been betrayed twice in the last few sessions, we didn't want anything to do with the festival. It would be too easy for an assassin to throw poison or something on us in the guise of a reveler. So what could have been a fantastic roleplay opportunity was ignored due to paranoia.

We also talk to the guards, mentioning to them that we're here to investigate the cult. The guards don't really take kindly to this, and in an effort to gain their trust, I make a mistake. I tell them that we aren't necessarily bound by their investigation protocols, so that we might be able to accomplish something. The guards take this to mean "your laws don't apply to us," and nearly go hostile, demanding that I unsummon my eidolon, probably one step away from demanding that I stay the night in jail. Brief tangent here, but I personally know that silence is extremely uncomfortable to most people, so staying silent is a good way to get another person in a conversation to divulge more information in an effort to get you to talk. So I do exactly that. I remain silent, and sure enough, after a few seconds the other players pipe in about other matters to question the guards, and the matter is dropped. After that though, my character was done with the guards - if they wanted to be dicks like that, they wouldn't get any help from me the next time the cult murdered someone.

Next, our other summoner, the one who wanted to fly, decides to go flying in the middle of the town. Naturally, this calls the guard over, who demand to see his magic license. Now, the concept of a magic license isn't exactly new. Other games have used them now and then, but it generally depends on how commonplace magic is in the game. In this particular game, we hadn't ever been informed of magic licenses before. The DM handwaved it by saying that he assumed we already had them in our home city (which isn't a good assumption to make, because many characters wouldn't want a paper trail behind all of their spellcasting). Because the other summoner won't dismiss his eidolon (the source of his flight), he gets fined gold and then leads us on a 2-hour tangent so we can all get magic licenses.

With that hurdle taken care of, we come to a realization that I had talked about earlier in the session - who the hell do we talk to to get started with investigating the cult? The guards weren't any help, and we didn't know anyone else that was interested in the matter, so we were hitting a wall. Sensing our exasperation, the DM has an NPC stop in and guide us to someone that can give us a few leads, and we can finally begin our investigation!

It goes well initially - we make some good skill checks and get some clues, but after each location/interrogation, it takes us a while to figure out what to do next. Turns out that none of us is really that good at being a detective. But we do finally manage to track down a particular merchant that bought the murder weapon. We start interrogating him, and it becomes clear to us right away that something's up (we had to make will saves almost immediately). His story ends up being pretty shady, and we ask if he'll submit to questioning under our Paladin's Zone of Truth spell. He does, and his story checks out again. The Paladin, true to her word, leaves the merchant alone and steps out, but I tell the merchant that we'll still need to bring him in for some further questioning. He's obviously outraged, since we had given him our word that we'd let him go if he did the Zone of Truth thing. I remind him that the Paladin gave him her word - the rest of us hadn't promised him anything. At this, the DM pauses and asks me what my alignment is. I respond that it's true neutral. He tells me that it's now chaotic neutral. At first, I'm somewhat surprised, but the more I thought about it, the more it makes sense.

The laws of this world have never been kind to us, and people have lied to and betrayed us fairly often. We started the campaign coerced into competing in an illegal pit fight, the dwarf woman who took us in for the night brainwashed our alchemist and killed our oracle (and nearly killed the rest of us, see "Last Man Standing"), the ship captain from whom we lawfully purchased passage and his cargo ship decided to extort money from us, the ogres with whom we parleyed were secretly led by an oni that we had to blackmail in order to gain his cooperation, and finally, the guards of this very city threatened me and my fellow summoner. NPCs had consistently been dicks, and laws had done nothing but gotten in our way, so it was completely appropriate that my character would just say "F it all, I'm playing by my own rules now," and go chaotic neutral.

Back to the merchant though, turns out my hunch was correct - the merchant was secretly a rakshasa, so we killed him and began to rifle through his things. Next session we'll be investigating his silk mill, which is probably where the cult is hidden.


I guess there are three lessons I take from this:

1) Be sure your NPCs have diversified personalities - only let a few of them mirror your own personality. Our DM admits that he's a dick, and so far it's been reflected in nearly every NPC we've encountered. Out of every NPC we've met, I can't recall a single one that's been genuinely nice to us, and neither can any of the other players. Every NPC has tried to exploit or betray us. I don't care what moral philosophy you believe in, but -not everyone is a dick-. Given this trend, it's no surprise that we're suspicious of every NPC we encounter. As a DM, you have to give NPCs diversified personalities. While it's easy, and even natural, to extend your own personality into your NPCs, it leads to all of them doing the same things. And when you're a dick, that makes your players suspicious of everyone in the game world. Sure there will be some that try and exploit the party, but there will also be those that are good, and those that won't trouble the party if they don't trouble him/her back. You can have several NPCs in a row follow a trend to lull the players into a false sense of security or make them paranoid, but when it's -every- NPC, the players know what to expect from you, and it also destroys the realism.

2) There is such a thing as too much roleplay, and be prepared to rein it in for the sake of convenience. This refers to the whole magic license thing, as well as most of the stuff about travel arrangements. In all, we wasted about 2 and a half hours on it, and it really wasn't good roleplay anyway. I'm all for spontaneous roleplay, but when it does nothing but frustrate your players, be prepared to put a stop to it for everyone's sake.

3) Remember that your character is dynamic - they will be shaped by their experiences. When I first heard alignment shift, I was surprised, and a little bit outraged. Back in the old AD&D days, an alignment shift was a HUGE deal, usually meaning that you'd take some severe penalties. So naturally I was a bit wary of it. I chose true neutral as my character's alignment because he typically tried to be good, but every once in a while took a little extra for himself; rules are generally good, but could be broken if they impeded your progress. After this adventure though? The rules just get in the way, and he'll only follow them when it's convenient. He has his own standards, and plays by his own rules. It's important to recognize these kinds of shifts in your characters, because big events during adventures will make them behave differently. Plus your character will be MUCH more interesting if their beliefs and motivations change over time.

Just a short tale today about a ship's captain with horribly bad judgment. Nothing too big, but I certainly laughed at the time.

Don't Mess with Adventurers

Our team needed to reach an island in the middle of a fairly large sea. We aren't high enough level to just teleport there (yet), and not everyone could reliably fly. Plus we had some heavy cargo to bring, so we had to do it the old-fashioned way - by ship. Now I know what you're thinking, "never get on the boat," but the GM had subtly told us that as long as we didn't make too much fuss about finding sailors, he wouldn't make us fight a sea monster. knowing a good deal when we saw one, we agreed.

Now, the island we wanted to reach was close to a trade route, but a little off course, so we couldn't just book passage on a ship and be set. We would need a vessel of our own. I thought about it for a while, and figured that the cheapest option would be to book passage aboard a merchant ship and travel with them along the route, then purchase one of their smaller cargo boats and use that to reach the island when we passed it by. It would be much cheaper than buying a full-sized ship, and would save us time, so we all agreed to the plan. After loading up our cargo, we set off.

True to his word, the DM didn't make us encounter any sea monsters, but he did have us encounter something else. We had loaded up our small cargo vessel and were about to lower it into the water when the ship's captain approaches us, saying "Now the way I see it, that vessel is part of a set, and it'll feel wrong to be missing a boat from the collection. So I think it's worth about 300 gold more than you've paid for it." We had paid a total of 880 gold for the trip, about 500 of which was for the vessel. Now, we were all level 7 adventurers, so we were pretty wealthy and could easily afford another 300 gold. But no, I wasn't going to have any of that.

I looked at the captain, and said "Sir, I'm not sure what's caused this sudden change of heart, but let me remind you of the situation. We're on a boat, a wooden boat. No guards or anyone else around. We are fairly accomplished adventurers, many of us with magical talents as well. We've slain many foes, and will surely slay many more in the coming weeks. And you are standing here before us, extorting payment for a vessel we have already lawfully purchased?" The captain wouldn't budge, and even demanded 150 more gold from us. When we again refused, he decided to bull rush our magus off the side of the boat.

I'm sure you can guess what happened next. Our team's slayer lunged forward and sliced off half the captain's HP, and then my eidolon stepped forward and tore what was left of him to shreds. The other sailors, who had all drawn weapons, now thought better of it and kept their distance. We didn't want to harm them, but I was prepared to burn down the ship if need be. Thankfully, they just let us take our vessel and leave. We didn't receive any XP for killing the captain, as he was really beneath our notice in terms of challenge. Oh, and my eidolon, a giant hawk, flew down and recovered our magus before he was too far behind.

So that's all for this story. Not too much, but just a little reminder for your NPC's to really think twice about their odds when approaching adventurers with hostile intent. Especially adventurers that are armed to the teeth and clearly magical.

Though most of my pokemon choices from the previous list were entirely for aesthetic purposes, most of them also have a bit of a story behind them:

Gen 1:
1) Kabutops - When you first choose your fossil in Mt. Moon, there's a certain mystique about it. You don't know what it'll become, or when you'll "hatch" it, but every time you think about it, you know it's going to be awesome. Such was the case with Kabutops. When I received Kabuto, I was kind of disappointed, but I persevered. I figured that, like Magikarp, there had to be something awesome there with a little work. Sure enough, he turned into a lean, sharp badass that could take hits like a pro thanks to his rock type, and deliver a serious beatdown with those claws. Awesome to look at, effective in battle, and overall well worth the wait from Mt. Moon to Cinnabar Island.

2) Aerodactyl - Just like Kabuto, this guy was also something worth waiting for. Early in my Pokemon career I didn't put much thought into Pokemon stats, and just thought that Aerodactyl looked cool. But when I revisited Red while Twitch was playing it too, I knew that Aerodactyl was one of the fastest things around, and he didn't disappoint. Not to mention he also hit like a truck and could fly. And then there's the aesthetic reason that I love both gargoyles and pterodactyls, which this guy reminds me of, plus now he has a Mega Evolution.

3) Arbok - Part of my love for this guy comes from the obvious - we're both snakes. But another part of me always wanted to give him a shot because Ekans and Arbok were always getting picked on in the show. I wanted him to have a chance to shine, and after beating Koga? He turned into one of my deadliest allies. Though Pokemon Red didn't offer many opportunities for advanced tactics, one of my favorite tricks became using Toxic on an enemy pokemon, then following up with Wrap. Probably not as effective in the more recent generations, but it was devastating in the early years. And now that there's a fairy type, the forgotten poison type is finally getting some love. And in X, my Arbok leaped into action and started eating fairies left and right. Good times.

4) Charizard - This guy really doesn't need much explanation, does he? Though I will say that he was my first ever fully evolved pokemon, and my favorite pokemon back at the start of the whole Pokemon thing. I guess you could say that I loved charizard before he was cool, but I don't want to sound too hipster :P

5) Mewtwo - As the (effectively) last Pokemon in the game, Mewtwo had a lot of allure as I was hunting him down. Add in the fact that my preferred psychic type at the time was Kadabra (didn't have someone to trade him to so he could be come Alakazam), and I could certainly use a leg up with a psychic type. It took me a while to catch him, but he was totally worth it. Looks badass, is badass, and carried me through my first real pokemon tournament when he fought my adversary to a draw and got both of us our badges.

6) Charmeleon - I know I already listed Charizard here, but Charmeleon deserves special mention. Even though he's not fully evolved, he has a certain attitude about him that really gives him a lot of character. He's beyond the cute innocence of Charmander, and not quite the mighty majesty of Charizard, but he still gets the job done, keeping that awesome determined look all the while.

7) Vaporeon - Now this one's a real story. Up until a few months ago, I didn't think much of Eevee or any of its evolutions. They could be cool, but could never quite match up to "legitimate" pokemon of their respective types. Jolteon was surpassed by Raichu, Magneton, or Zapdos; Vaporeon by Dewgong, Lapras, Kabutops, etc.; Flareon by Charizard, Rapidash, Arcanine, etc. Hence, I never saw much reason to bother with Eevee. Then, when I replayed Red alongside Twitch, I decided to say "screw it, I need a water type until I can nab Kabutops, and Vaporeon is the easiest to get." It didn't take long for Vaporeon to completely exceed all of my expectations. He was amazingly powerful with Bubblebeam, had so much health that he was immortal, and had some of the best buffs in the game. I decided to keep him along even after getting Kabutops, figuring that he would be awesome for Ice Beam too. Sure enough, he steamrolled through Blaine, Giovanni, and Victory Road, and then the unthinkable happened. He was first up in the fight against Lance, buffed up, and brought down Gyarados. He kept on going, slaying Lance's entire team SINGLE HANDEDLY, while taking hyper beams like they weren't even a thing. And all of this happened while he was TEN LEVELS LOWER than Lance's pokemon. I couldn't believe what had he had accomplished, and so I figured that he deserved special recognition. He was renamed "Leonidas, the Dragonslayer," and I'm in the process of getting a commission of him.

8) Rattata - I've never done a Youngster Joey challenge, but I still love Rattata because, despite being one of the weakest guys around, he's still extremely capable with his moveset. Super Fang can make even a max level Chansey rethink its life choices, and Hyper Fang lets it finish the job. You may laugh when you see it, but that's all part of the illusion.

Gen 2:
1) Houndoom - Gen 2 was very bland for me. Maybe it was just favoritism, but I really didn't think many of the gen 2 pokemon could stand up to the gen 1 pokemon. Houndoom was the most notable exception. He was the new Dark type, looked badass, and had fire moves on top of that. Everything I wanted.....the only problem was that he was a glass cannon and not fast enough to get the first strike a lot of times. Still, I loved him anyway, and he'll always be my favorite pokemon from Gen 2.

2) Quilava - This one's purely aesthetic. I didn't really like any of the gen 2 starters, but I do love the fire type in general. Typhlosion is cool too, but just doesn't have that attitude and personality like Quilava does.

3) Xatu - Still believing at the time that psychic types were the best, I was looking for something kadabra-esque. Xatu seemed like he'd fill that role by being psychic, PLUS he could fly. Awesome! then...he couldn't fly, and his psychic moves were very lackluster....disappointing, but he still looked really cool, so I bore with him and saw him through to the end anyway.

4) Ariados - This one was more of a personal challenge of mine. See, I don't like spiders (as you may have noted from a recent pic I posted). But this guy? He seemed like he'd be pretty good, so I decided to grit my teeth and use him anyway. He turned out surprisingly well, and carried me through a lot of tough fights. I still don't like spiders, but I'll give this guy a hug any time.

5) Scizor - Everything good about Scyther except in an extremely tanky package. What's not to like? Just don't get him near an open flame.

Gen 3:
1) Mightyena - Easily one of my favorites of all time. He's got attitude, looks sweet, and you can get him really early in the game. Plus he's a dark type. I didn't care that his stats were pathetic, he was still my constant companion throughout gen 3.

2) Grovyle - Yet another case where the mid-evolution is cooler than the final evolution, Grovyle just looked so...sleek and sinister. Like he always had something up his sleeve. And with his sweet moveset, he pretty much did. Very cool to look at, performed well in battle, and stood right beside me with Mightyena.

3) Blaziken - This was the first gen where I really wanted two of the starters. Torchic didn't seem like much at first, but when he became Blaziken, he really started strutting around like he owned the place. Fire type - good, Fighting type - better, awesome moveset, like Blaze Kick - friggin sweet. He's not -quite- as cool as Charizard, but he's pretty close.

4) Manectric - Both Manectric and Absol and kind of tossups. Honestly I just needed an electric type at the time, and Manectric was the coolest one available. He performed adequately, and I would gladly pick him up again any day. He just doesn't have that lasting character/personality as some of the others.

5) Absol - Like Umbreon, Absol seems really awesome, I've just never had a slot open to try him out. I understand that he has absurdly good critical hits and lands them all the time, but I always have a dark type on the team already. Plus by that time I'm usually looking for something more durable. Maybe one day I'll revisit gen 3 and do a playthrough with my favorite less-used pokemon.

Gen 4:
1) Lucario - There really doesn't need to be an explanation here. It's Lucario.

2) Riolu - This is me during Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, the pokemon game that gave me new insights into my own life. Huh, perhaps it's time I finally told that story, eh? Maybe in the next journal if people would want to hear it. Either way, Riolu's got that same confident attitude I mentioned earlier with Charmeleon and others, and an awesome moveset to back it up. He also proved himself to be even more of a badass in that game because there are LOTS of psychic type bosses there, and Riolu is a fighting type. I was effectively walking into each fight prepared to die with a single bad hit, but Riolu strode in like it wasn't even a concern and taught Dialga and Palkia some humility. Plus my friend Spira got me a Riolu hat at Anthrocon a few years ago, so he's got a special place with me.

3) Garchomp - I never liked the dragon pokemon much. They always seemed to be too obvious, too upfront: "this is a dragon, it is big and poweful, hits hard, and doesn't go down easily. That's all it does." I prefer pokemon that are a big more tricksy, less obvious about what they're capable of. Garchomp is the dragon that does that. You know he's part dragon, but that ground type gives him some unique potential, and he looks cool as hell all the while.

4) Gallade - The Gardevoir line has always been cool with me. Not as nice as Kadabra (in my opinion, and remember that I didn't get an Alakazam because I couldn't trade it at the time), but very capable nonetheless. This guy takes the awesomeness of Gardevoir and makes it into a fighting type. Nice twist there Nintendo, and this guy really looks sweet too. A welcome addition to my Gen 4 team for sure.

5) Luxray - Like Manectric, this is another shoehorned electric type. I needed an electric type at the time, and Luxray fit the bill. That's not to say I was kind of forced into taking him, because I did like him before then. He did his job admirably, and looked pretty awesome while doing so. Not as cool as the others, but he does have a certain degree of that attitude too.

Gen 5:
1) Haxorus - Now this guy is friggin awesome. Even his name is great. He doesn't look like much at first, but give him a round to buff and he's hitting like a freight train. Of course, he's a bit less powerful now that there's fairies around, but I just think that means he needs a bit more speed so he can slice them in half before they can challenge him.

2) Krokorok - Just look at that smug grin. Like Charmander to Charmeleon, this guy goes from adorable to smug badass pretty quick. Add in a sweet type combo and some great moves, and I'm loving this scaley dude. I just gotta be sure not to let him evolve to Krookodile when he puts on all those pounds.

3) Liepard - Back when I was a cheetah/hyena, I was really glad to finally have a pokemon for my cheetah side. And this guy didn't disappoint at all. While he didn't hit as hard as I would have liked, he was very much a trickster - excellent at messing with enemy pokemon with debuffs and status ailments. Plus he's still got that attitude. He doesn't have quite the lasting impression to place him up there with Mightyena or others, but he's still a worthy addition to the team.

4) Archeops - This one is again kind of shoehorned in. He looks cool, but I ultimately didn't use him much. Still, he is one of the better "fossil" pokemon that I've seen since Gen 1. I've heard he's good, possibly coming close to Aerodactyl, but nothing can compare to the original.

5) Serperior - Finally, a snake starter! Except this time they inverted the whole attitude thing. Snivy has a lot of character, but He loses some of it when he evolves, and finally feels pretty boring when he becomes Serperior. Still, he is extremely capable, and I was glad to have him on the team (and I really don't say that often about grass types).

Gen 6:
1) Greninja - Friggin amazing. Looks awesome, tons of attitude at all evolutions, and the first water starter that I really liked. Add in a really sweet moveset and passive abilities, and he's got both form and function. Sleek, poweful, and versatile - this guy is a keeper all around, and easily one of my favorites.

2) Heliolisk - Alas, after Greninja the rest kind of fall short ^^;. But here's an exception. Finally, an electric type that isn't just shoehorned in! Heliolisk looks awesome, has some measure of personality, and has a really nice type combo. He didn't leave that lasting impact like others, but he does his job well, and I love his design.

3) Noivern - Though I've never used this guy, I've always liked his design. It's a cool concept, and I'm sure if I play X again I'll pick him up sometime.

4) Xerneas - While I'm not usually so taken with legendaries, Xerneas is an exception. For one, he's a fairy that I can actually bear to look at - not only that, he looks really cool. He's got an awesome moveset, the circumstances where you get him are really sweet, and he's damn good in a fight. I don't usually include legendaries in my teams, but I might bring this guy in anyway.

5) Hawlucha - this guy's another aesthetic choice. I haven't used him, but a fighting/flying combo is really cool. He also looks like he has a lot of character, and a very nice moveset. He's another guy I'll try out if I do another run through of X.

So there's my reasoning! I know most of it isn't that exciting, but I didn't reach that level of connection with many pokemon, especially after Gen 1. And then I may have just forgotten ^^;. It's been a while, and pokemon really hasn't held my attention much these days. Still, I'll try and get some art of the more memorable pokemon from my experiences, and maybe get around to telling that Pokemon Mystery Dungeon story too.

Listed (mostly) in order of preference for each generation. Gen 1 has a top 8 instead of a top 5, because I love soooo many pokemon from that gen:

Gen 1:
1) Kabutops
2) Aerodactlyl
3) Arbok
4) Charizard
5) Mewtwo
6) Charmeleon
7) Vaporeon
8) Rattata

Gen 2:
1) Houndoom
2) Quilava
3) Xatu
4) Ariados
5) Scizor

Gen 3:
1) Mightyena
2) Grovyle
3) Blaziken
4) Manectric
5) Absol

Gen 4:
1) Lucario
2) Riolu
3) Garchomp
4) Gallade
5) Luxray

Gen 5:
1) Haxorus
2) Krokorok
3) Liepard
4) Archeops
5) Serperior

Gen 6:
1) Greninja
2) Heliolisk
3) Noivern
4) Xerneas
5) Hawlucha

Much to my surprise, I actually still knew all their names, though I did have a lot of trouble with Gen 5, since I really didn't do much with Black and White.

This week the group came extremely close to a TPK, and this time it wasn't anyone's fault that it happened, other than the DM's. Read on for a tale of one really hard encounter, where I emerged triumphantly as a hero to the group.

Last Man Standing

Last session we fought in a major army vs. army battle and got our asses kicked. Thankfully we managed to escape before anyone (in our group) died, but now we were left in the wilderness and had to keep moving to get away from the approaching hordes. Deciding on a path to the nearest port city, we soon came across a very strange sight - a circle of stones like Stonehenge and a few decrepit buildings nearby. A dwarf woman approached us from the stone circle, mentioning that there wasn't another town for a dozen miles and that we could stay here if we liked. While pretty wary at first, we were really in desperate need of shelter and a hot meal after our escape from the battle. So we decided to stay.

Unfortunately, at this point I had to go AFK for a short while, but when I returned I found that our group's alchemist had gone off with the dwarf woman to investigate some strange plantlife that was growing a short distance away. Meanwhile, the magus and the oracle were exploring the surrounding area, leaving just me to tend the camp back at the stone circle. Everyone returned and appeared to be in good spirits, despite some "falling down a hole" issues. I decided that we should set a watch order, since we are in the wilderness. I took first watch, and the alchemist took the second (being half-elves, we needed very little sleep and could just handle watch duty with just the two of us). My watch was uneventful, and the alchemist's watch began.

Just an hour into his watch, I was rudely awoken by a very cold sensation. It was the alchemist, standing over me and radiating some kind of dark void. It was causing cold damage and sucking the air from my lungs, preventing me from making noise (like waking up the others). Unfortunately, that wasn't all that woke me up. A dozen flaming skeletons were only a few feet away, and had managed to surround me. The dwarf woman was also a short distance away, apparently leading the attack. With my horrible AC, I was brought down to half my HP in the first round. I immediately used the withdraw action to get away, but, thinking quickly, decided to kick over my coffee pot as I ran to rouse the others. It works, and they had a few precious seconds to prepare, not that it did them any good.

I was now a good distance from the enemies, but I certainly wasn't safe. The dwarf woman cast Howling Agony on us, which imposed a number of debuffs on the group, the most devastating of which required sacrificing a move action each turn or else face severe trouble casting. The magus tried to prepare himself with a Shield spell, but was quickly surrounded by the skeletons and was soon silenced as the alchemist stood over him too. Knowing that I had to control the crowd of skeletons, I sacrificed my move action and cast Black Tentacles, which grappled all of the skeletons and managed to get the Dwarf woman too (we discovered she was a witch), though the alchemist avoided them. The dwarf woman desperately tried to get closer to me to get me back for hitting her with the spell, but she was unable to free herself from the tentacles. Instead, she cast her spell at the Magus, and it turned out to be a Suffocate spell. Knowing the fate that awaited him if he stayed, the Magus quickly backed off and made it to the edge of the battlefield before passing out, gone from the fight.

The oracle came next. He managed to hit the Dwarf with a potent spell that took a chunk out of her HP, but he didn't have long to enjoy the victory. She responded with another Suffocate spell and dropped him too, bringing him to a hair from death because the alchemist was still standing over him and draining his life away.

Now it was just me versus the alchemist and the witch. By this time, the tentacles had managed to kill the skeletons. Fortunately, by now, I had the necessary prep time I needed. I cast invisibility on myself to avoid the alchemist and the Dwarf, then followed up by summoning a gryphon, which charged into the Dwarf and took another chunk from her HP. Knowing she was close to death, the witch fled by turning into a swarm of wasps and flying away. Without any area effect damage spells at my disposal, I could do nothing to stop her. Still, she was considered "defeated" for XP purposes, so it was still a victory. So now all that remained was the alchemist versus myself and my summoned gryphon, and I was pissed.

I didn't care that the alchemist was technically part of our crew. He had turned on us, and I was going to beat some answers out of him. He managed to defeat the gryphon, but I am a summoner - I had six more at the ready. He didn't even have a chance as they tore him to shreds. But I didn't kill him. Once he was down, I made sure he was stable, then surveyed the carnage. The oracle was dead. The magus was unconscious. The alchemist was unconscious by my own hand, and I was the last man standing.

I walked over to the magus and used a healing wand to get him back on his feet, then explained what had happened. I then walked over to the alchemist, stripped him naked, and tied him to a tree. The magus and myself would both decide what to do with him. I healed him just enough to get him conscious, and then we began our questioning. Turns out he had been injected with a philter of love while he was out with the witch earlier, so he was happily accepting whatever she suggested. We ultimately believed his story, so because he wasn't acting of his own accord, we didn't kill him. At least, not literally. We couldn't tell exactly what had charmed him or how to get rid of it, and with the witch still alive out there somewhere, we couldn't take the risk that he would turn on us again. We gave him his clothes back, kept the rest of his gear, then left him there to await the return of his "lover." So by my hand, I had effectively killed another player's character, though it was entirely justified and in-character.


Honestly I don't think any of this was any player's fault. This was squarely on the DM. We ended up getting enough XP to qualify the fight as a CR +4 to +5 encounter, the kind of stuff epic boss fights are made of. We were severely outnumbered, down one player due to being absent from the game, down another player because he was turned against us, and then two of our party members were hit with spells that took them out of the fight instantly. We were also caught while sleeping, so most characters were out of their armor, did not have their weapons ready, and did not have any of their defensive spells prepared. It was solely because of my actions that we avoided a TPK and managed to defeat the witch.

To the DM: yes, I get that you want to challenge us, and that's good. But remember that the circumstances of the fight can dramatically alter its difficulty. Had we run the same encounter in a straight up fight, with both sides at the ready, it would have been a fairly even affair. But with the team operating at less than half of its capabilities? We really should have died there. Keep that in mind the next time you decide to hit us with a fight that would easily kill any other party.

Does the name remind you of Final Fantasy? This game is a little gem I picked up on Steam for about $5-10 a few weeks ago, and it's definitely been worth all that and more. It's an RPGMaker game that's an obvious homage to the early Final Fantasy series, especially the first Final Fantasy. You form your party of four by selecting from 8 different classes, and then embark an a massive adventure with a remarkable amount of choice and freedom.

The game starts off with a fairly simple plot, just like the first Final Fantasy. Grind up a few levels to get your feet wet, then go rescue the princess. After that, you are tasked with acquiring a ship, and have two different ways to do that, as well as two different routes to reach the next big city. A little while after that, you have to go collect the four Macguffins, and can do them in any order, or just explore the world at large with your new ocean-traveling freedom. That's where I'm at right now, after only about TWENTY HOURS of play time. And from what I've read, there's a LOT more to do after that. Additionally, given the countless different party combinations, there's lots of replay value as well. On top of the different party combinations, every character is unique because of how you choose to level them. Like Shadowrun, when you level up, you are given some points to spend on your attributes HOWEVER YOU LIKE. Your stats do not increase on their own, so every upgrade to a character is by your choice. Here's a quick breakdown of each of the classes:

Knight - Very solid character, but also very boring. He'll carry you through the early game and get to use all of that fancy gear you find. After about 10 hours, other physical classes will catch up to him damage-wise, and ultimately he'll just be the best at staying alive. Late-game he can tank extremely well, but becomes very mana-dependent since he needs mana to power all of his best stuff. I'd only recommend this guy if the rest of your party is VERY squishy.

Monk - My favorite. Starts off pretty underwhelming, doing less damage than all the other physical classes, but around 10 hours in, he starts doing double attacks every round, then triple, then quadruple, and so on. He quickly becomes your best single-target DPS, and can consistently do that every round without a mana cost. Once he reaches the higher levels, he's easily carrying your team. His only downside is his low defense, which means your healer will have to work hard to keep refilling his massive HP pool. I'll take him over the knight any day, and in any party.

Thief - Slightly less combat-effective than the knight, but will get you MUCH richer, and will also have his dick sucked by your engineer (see below). He'll be just behind the fighter in terms of basic attack damage throughout the entire game, and his defenses are just a step behind too. His real strength lies in making you rich. Every enemy has a set of three items to steal, and he can get all of them with enough agility. He'll also be your best source for Tonics, which is what your engineer will use to buff the party. I personally like him better than the fighter, but if your group doesn't need much money (lots of monks, mages, etc.), he might not be necessary.

Hunter - On par with the thief in terms of tankiness and DPS, but also has a number of utility abilities. She's the only one that can tame chocobos (called moas here) as well as scan enemies to reveal their HP and weaknesses. She provides a small assortment of party buffs and healing, so all around very handy. She'll just have to rely on others to do the heavy damage. A highly useful character, but you'll have a hard time finding room for her with all your other options.

Gray Mage - Red mage. Extremely potent early game, but starts to fall behind fast. By late game the rest of your party will have to carry him around. That said, his versatility is pretty nice. There have been NUMEROUS times where I wished I had another source of white magic during a boss fight, and even more times I wished I had a black mage for their AoE potential. Ultimately, this guy isn't bad, just be prepared to do a bit of extra grinding to keep him up to speed with the others and to keep him to a purely supportive role by the mid-late game.

White Mage - Speaks for herself. In most encounters she'll just be sitting back and guarding, occasionally curing a condition, but during boss fights she'll be holding up the rest of your team while they wail on the boss. You probably don't -need- her, but she makes things SO much more convenient. Another important note is that she's the only one that can resurrect party members outside of town for the first half of the game (nope, phoenix downs don't exist as far as I know).

Black Mage - I seriously wish I had brought this guy instead of the knight on this playthrough. Early game you'll have a tough time keeping up his mana, but around mid game the encounters start to have a LOT of large groups, making his AoEs invaluable. While the knight does get a few AoEs later on, they all pale in comparison to this guy. Then there's the fact that you'll encounter quite a few bosses (most of which are optional) that can only be harmed by magic. I seriously would not run another party without either this guy or the gray mage.

Engineer - This guy is Batman. That is, if you give him prep time, he wins. If not, he sucks. He has poor offense and defense skills, and no spells. However, about 15 levels in, his attack damage starts to scale with his intelligence, bringing him up to speed with the thief or hunter. He further is able to amplify the effects of items and grenades, making all of those tonics and bombs you find extremely useful. If you take the time to fill up your inventory with his stuff, he'll be at least as good as the black mage and the white mage. He also greatly speeds up travel in dungeons and the world map by allowing you to use tunnels. He is also the only character able to avert a catastrophe that occurs 12 or so hours in, but ultimately it's not that big a deal in relation to the entire story. Ultimately, if you're willing to take the time to load up on his gear, he's the best support you can have, but you'll probably need to bring a thief as well to be able to afford all that.


With that done, here's the breakdown of the game's elements:

STORY: 6/10
It's really nothing new, and half the time I didn't even know what was going on with the story. About 10-15 hours in it starts to pick up, but still takes a backseat to the gameplay and exploration, which isn't a bad thing. However, it does get props in that it changes NPC dialogue as more events occur in-game, which is a nice touch. I just really wish it had more character-dependent story elements.

MECHANICS: 10/10
Easy to learn, but difficult to master. The level up system is gold, and the party selection system can easily make the first choice in the game the hardest of all.

SOUND: 7/10
Most of the sounds are typical RPGMaker fare, but a lot of the music is surprisingly good. I even discovered one cave that had a remix of the Nutcracker Ballet as its background and fight music. Not bad.

GRAPHICS: 7/10
It's RPGMaker, though I did notice a handful of custom sprites. Nothing fancy, but they did well with what the engine offers.

GAMEPLAY: 9/10
The immense freedom and massive world really makes the game shine. So far the only downside I can see is that your party selection determines the rest of the game. So if you made a mistake with your party (like I did by not having a black/gray mage), you have to live with it for the rest of the 40+ hour game.

TOTAL: 7.8/10
If you're looking for a good JRPG (or just a good Final Fantasy), this game will scratch that itch. Think of it more as a reimagining of the original Final Fantasy, but with way better mechanics and gameplay. Easily worth the low price, and I would highly recommend it.

The Pathfinder game where I am a player rather than the DM came to an abrupt end last week because of a total party kill (TPK). Everyone died, and honestly it seems like everyone is to blame for it, including myself. Here's what happened:

KNOW YOUR FOE

Our group had not had a good run so far. We were in an insanity-themed dungeon, and after four or five sessions had -finally- managed to clear the first floor. Three party members died, only to be reincarnated by an NPC druid, and I don't think we had full attendance from the players for any of the sessions. And then to top it all off, the DM informed us that we had two more levels to go (he had also planned on another level, but we were all getting tired of the place and wanted to just get back to the "thieves' guild" campaign we had wanted). So already we were kind of in a rush.

We step down into the second level and immediately see a large guardian demon before us. Fortunately, he's not immediately hostile, so we talk to him for a bit. It was clear that he didn't have anything against us and really wanted to be released from his servitude of guarding the door into the rest of the second floor. Now, this is kind of a tangent, but this is the first time we've actually had a chance to really RP or discuss a non-combat option for getting past an obstacle. Literally every other time, the big, stupid fighter (BSF) would do a token effort at diplomacy, then start swinging if anything took longer than a few minutes. But this time, he had left our campaign to join the Marines. Hence, I was really enjoying the chance to puzzle out a non-combat solution to the problem.

It does take us the better part of an hour, but we finally manage to get past it and break its summoning circle with some clever use of cantrips and the bluff skill. No combat at all. Everyone involved seemed to enjoy it and I definitely felt great after finding a use for the "Minor Creation" psionic talent. So we move on and find a little girl. If we were metagaming, we would have wasted no time slaughtering her immediately because a little girl trapped deep in a dungeon is ALWAYS a trap. But no, we did the morally right thing and allowed her to come with us. She informed us that she and her family had been tortured by some blue-skinned and white-haired monsters down here. We hadn't encountered anything like that yet, but we felt that we could handle them if we saw them.

A little bit later on, we do encounter those things. Or rather, we saw -one- of them. We talked with it for a bit, and it was very clear that the thing was quite crazy and egotistical. His dialogue made it seem like combat was inevitable no matter what happened, especially once the little girl came into view, so we took the initiative and got a surprise round in combat. We didn't realize until about 20 minutes later that this was a monumentally bad idea.

See, we had only seen -one- guy and his two bodyguards. Even without our BSF, we felt that we could take these guys easily, and we could. What we hadn't planned on were his 8 other buddies in the nearby rooms. Literally every other encounter in the game so far had been an isolated incident - we fight the monsters in that particular room, then move on to the next. This time, as we move to flank the blue guy and his bodyguards, we find three additional bodyguards in the next hallway as well as two more blue guys. Fortunately the hallway is very narrow, so we're able to bottleneck them fairly easily. But just as we start getting those guys under control, three more come out from behind us and kill our magus in a single round because all of them had sneak attack.

Our NPC gunslinger panics and runs away, only to be run down and killed by the rogues. This separated the rogues from the group, and gave us a chance to recover. When we're ready, we go up after the rogues and manage to bring them down without too much further hassle. Oh, and the little girl? Turns out she was a monster too, but a rather frail one. As soon as the fighting began, she jumped atop our healer and started to -drink- his back, but we then dropped her in a single hit.

Obviously the fight had really taken us by surprise, and we needed to step back and rest (and get our magus reincarnated). So we do that after backtracking upstairs to our holdout. Next session rolls around. Everyone's ready to continue, but the DM has expressed serious doubts about our likelihood to survive. I'm confident that we can figure something out with a bit of planning, but he's still skeptical. This session, our main healer is away, and we're still short one BSF due to him leaving the game. But at least this time we have our useless rogue (seriously, this guy has been the worst rogue I've ever seen. More on him later if you'd like), and our NPC druid at the front this time, ready to tank for the group.

The session goes south immediately. We round the first corner into a room we had previously cleared, only to find it filled with about a half dozen blue guys, plus one in the room behind us. The rogue manages to pin the one behind us behind a door and sets him on fire, which does little damage but keeps him out of the fight for a few rounds. The NPC druid rushes forward to be a boss and gets surrounded. Thankfully, he has an AC of 26, so it's -really- unlikely that he'll get hit, but when you're surrounded like that it becomes pretty likely that -someone- will roll a 20 to hit you each round. I take a moment to adjust my psionic focus element, and then start using my full-power blast spells, hitting five enemies at once each round for 6d6 electric damage.

Things seem to be going okay - we're gradually wearing them down. However, after two or three rounds, the druid is starting to take some serious hits. And two enemy spellcasters have joined the fray. Since the healer is AFK, the only one that can heal the druid is me (he didn't have any good healing spells prepared). I rush forward and heal the druid for about 30 HP, taking 15 damage in the process because of the nature of the heal. Then everything goes bad. The first spellcaster casts lightning bolt. I fail the reflex save and get reduced to single-digit HP. The next spellcaster casts fireball. I fail the reflex save again and get killed instantly. So the group's best (and only) blaster is now dead, and the rest of the group is in serious pain because of the fireball and lightning bolt. By now, thankfully, most of the blue guys are dead, and the group manages to rush forward and bring down the two casters. They retreat back to the stairs with my body to recover, but don't get long to do that because even more of the blue guys chase after them and ultimately kill them all.

Turns out that when we attacked that -one- guy, we had angered an entire intelligent tribe of crazy blue egotistical assholes. They were all well-armed, had demonic minions, and even an umber hulk that would tunnel its way to attack us if we were to hole up somewhere. So who's to blame for the TPK?

DM - We had never encountered any kind of organized opposing force before, and every previous encounter had been isolated. Our only instance of compounded fighting prior to this had been when a different BSF did a war cry in the middle of four enemy groups that otherwise would have been isolated. The DM explained that diplomacy with the blue guys would have been possible and was the intended outcome. They -were- crazy, evil, and egotistical, but not -that- intelligent. We could have stroked their egos and probably gotten by them, or at least separated them to handle individually. We didn't receive any kind of indication of their numbers or presence until we had pulled -all- of them. He was also the one that moved the druid into the room to get surrounded during our final battle.

Myself - I was the one who asked the group if they wanted to do the surprise attack on the first blue guy, so I "shot first." Though they did all agree to it. I could have thought to ask the little girl how many of the blue guys there were, or else try to reason with them.

The group - For so many players being absent, and the rogue for being incompetent. If we had had our healer in the final battle, I wouldn't have had to get in range of the blast spells that killed me to heal the druid, and the healer would have been able to heal at range too. We may have been able to blast through them, but without my damaging potential, it was over.

So yeah, everyone loses there, but at least we start up a new campaign now. This time hopefully without the two people that really frustrated me the last two games. And I get to play a summoner with an awesome anthro hawk eidolon!

Yup, getting older. Not gonna say anything else about it, just gonna post the updates in my life and how another year feels.

The House
A few months ago, I became a homeowner. Like, a legit house, with a yard, garage, and everything. It's about 1200 square feet or so, and came with a very big mortgage. I haven't moved in yet because the kitchen needed a LOT of work, and that's just about over. I remodeled the entire thing - new cabinets, new countertops (granite, yay!), hardwood floors, new appliances, and a dishwasher! So I'm -very- stoked about all that, and will be moving in as soon as it's all done. That'll most likely be by the end of the month, or else really early next month, so totally looking forward to that. I've missed having a place to call my own ever since I moved out of Cleveland a year ago, and getting back into my own space is going to be...heavenly.

I'm also looking into getting a roommate or two for the place. Currently there are two very nice bedrooms that will be unused, so having someone else there will be -really- nice to help with the mortgage and with the loneliness (see below).

Money
Don't have much of it. My job is paying me well, but virtually all of it is going to bills. I've gotta pay my mortgage, student loans, insurance, health insurance, dental bills, car insurance, utilities, cable....it stacks up quick, and leaves me without much to my name. I'm pretty sure my entire tax return is going to be rationed out over the next year so I actually have spending money when I need it. Either way, I'm just glad that I'm still keeping my head above the water, if just barely.

Furry Stuff
This will be the first year that I don't go to FCN (or its new equivalent, MCFC). I don't know enough people that will be attending, and I'm not on staff, so there's just no reason to go. I'm definitely still on for AC though, and hoping that this is the last year working at the Artists' Alley. It's not that I don't like working there, it's just that now I'm a licensed attorney, I'm hoping to actually put my unique skills to work for the con. Either way, I hope to see you all there!

As for commissions, I've now gotten several pics of Zelse in various attire - full-on tribal, wild west, some video games, swimsuit - and that includes one of his alternate colorations. I have 1-2 more commissions on the way that will hopefully showcase his desert coloration and in Egyptian attire. One of them will also be the first X-rated pic of him, so that'll be something too! I hope you all enjoy that one. Otherwise I'm just going to try and get some more art of Bismarck done too. It's been too long since that hyeetah's gotten any attention. Is there a specific idea you have in mind for me or my characters? Let me know and I'll see about commissioning it!

So art goals for this year: more pics of Bismarck, more game pics in general, and DO SOME WOODWORKING! Yeah, I've been really behind on that, but with everything else going on, I just haven't had the mental capacity for it.

Relationships
I'm still in a happy relationship with my boyfriend Kazekoe. We've got a few things to work on, but otherwise we're doing very well together. As far as I know I'm still friends with everyone I was during my last birthday journal, plus a few more I think. I am still trying to get to know more Michigan furs, because I -really- want to know some more furs in person rather than just on Skype. Skype friends are awesome, but they can't really go out for coffee with you when you're feeling down. Of course, the MIFurs forums going down hasn't helped that at all, but there is the Facebook page.

Even though I said that I would try to get on Facebook and post there regularly, it's very hard coming up with stuff to post. Especially when I'm still not sure if I should post furry stuff. I will join the MIFurs there soon, but otherwise I don't think I'll be that "openly" furry on it. I know I should be, but from a professional view I should keep it on the down low until I'm firmly attached to my ideal career. Other than furs, my relationship with my family is still about the same. My mom, brother, sister, and in-laws are all still awesome. Dad's still an asshole. My extended family is actually a little better though, because I was at a wedding recently and found that they might be more welcoming of me coming out to them than I thought.

Work
Sucks. Yes, it's a law job, but I really don't like my employer, and this is not the kind of law I want to do. I've been trying to get in touch with lawyers in the estate planning / probate fields, but it's still a hard field to get into. My current goal is just to endure my job until I can get a position at a probate /estate planning place, and then to go there immediately. I'll then work there for about 5-10 years and get -really- good at those kinds of law, and then start my own practice. But that's WAY down the road.

Games
I haven't been playing much these days. My schedule is so busy that I really don't have time for MMOs anymore, so those are out. I play League about once or twice a week, tops, and beyond that mostly just play single-player Steam games now. I recently finished Skybound, which was a pretty good RPGMaker game, and will be starting up Last Dream soon (obvious homage to Final Fantasy). Other than that, my friend Kaz just got me Dark Souls, so I'll be playing and dying to that for a long time to come. I do love a challenging game, so that'll keep me busy for sure. Kazekoe also got me Thief 2 and the Banner Saga, so that's a few other things to keep me busy. Other than those I've recently started doing some GMod things too, like Prop Hunt.

Besides video games, I'm also still running my own Pathfinder game. It's going pretty well, but the next few sessions are definitely going to keep me on my toes since I have to do a TON of preparation. The first few sessions were kept on a fairly rigid track, but the next several sessions will go wherever the players want.

Lastly, I'm still participating in another Pathfinder game as a player, so there's another source of fun/frustration. At least the good times are outweighing the bad for now.

Life in general
So far it's been good. I really can't complain too much. Though I still do have periods of depression that are mostly brought on by loneliness. I'm really hoping getting a roommate or two will fix that, or else just making some good local friends. I'm really not a very outgoing guy, so that's harder than it seems. Mostly it's just a desire for someone to talk to. I'm not much of a cuddler, and even in a good mood I prefer to just have a good conversation than an extended cuddle. I just feel that having someone that will listen and discuss something with you really lets you know that your opinion matters and that they respect you. I didn't get a lot of that growing up, so it really helps to feel that.

Honestly it's also just kind of disheartening. I've been out of school for about a year now. I really thought things would be easier after that. They've been everything but easy. It's all sorts of new responsibilities, new bills, and new problems. And I really wasn't prepared for most of them. Just...staying sane with so much going on has been immensely difficult, and I really don't see an end to all this stress for a long time. Here's hoping my upcoming move brightens things up a bit.

That's all I can think of at the moment. Thank you for reading all this, and here's hoping this year is a good one.

I just finished a playthrough, and it's definitely worth checking out. Pick it up here:

http://megamanrockforce.com/rockforcemain.html

And if you just want the sweet music, it's here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?li.....UQuVqcXLFYKhO3

In my other recent journal, I mentioned that I'm now DMing a Pathfinder game. I now realize just how much work that entails. Of course there's the given work, like designing maps, encounters, NPCs...all the number crunching and reasoning that goes into that. There's also the story element, writing a compelling narrative and giving characters backgrounds and ambitions that make sense. I didn't realize that I would also have to be doing my best to reign in my players. This isn't so much a story as it is a rant, but I'd also like to ask for input to see how others would have responded.

Knowledge Skills

The party encounters three oozes. The appropriate knowledge skill to find out more about these things would be dungeoneering. Only one party member has that skill, the cleric, so he makes his roll, but fails. I tell them a few snippets about oozes, but they don't get the creature's entire template. Hence, the psionic character (a wilder, specifically) would not know that oozes are immune to mind-affecting abilities. Two rounds into the fight, the wilder decides to use Mind Thrust, a completely mind-affecting ability. As soon as he finishes saying that, the cleric interrupts and tells him not to use Mind Thrust because oozes are immune to mind-affecting abilities. What ensues is a short debate about how the wilder would know if an ooze has intelligence or if a brain is visible.

In the end, I determine that this is metagaming. There was no way for the wilder to know that oozes are immune to mind-affecting abilities, the character has no prior experience with them, and the knowledge roll to find out about them failed. I let it slide this time since it was their first offense, but next time, the penalty will be severe.

NPC Characters
Traveling with the party is an NPC wizard. In most fights, he can do a decent spell or two, but he is not at all the blasty type. He does mediocre damage at best and spends most rounds using his wand of magic missiles to do 1d4+1 damage. Now and then, he does come up with a battlefield control spell that is very useful. In addition to his spells, he has a number of knowledge skills and other non-combat skills with very high bonuses to each. However, he rarely uses any of these. Why not? The party never asks him to use them.

I've always been taught that an NPC party member should -never- take the spotlight away from the PCs except for a really good reason. Therefore, he'll always let the party do their skill checks before he steps in. Sometimes he won't step in at all unless asked (he has a good reason for being inconspicuous anyway). In combat, he'll do enough damage to help out, but not nearly enough to compare to a party member.

I've already decided that next session, he's going to start having some fluff actions in every room the party enters. This is to try and get him noticed by the other characters, and hopefully to clue them in that he's actually very useful if you ask him to be. What do you guys think? Should I try and inch him closer to the spotlight or keep him purely as a "last resort" for when the players are out of ideas?

Other Metagaming
Another thing that troubled me last session was several instances of "I roll x skill....oh, that's my result? Screw it, I take 20." No. Once you roll dice for something, you are committed to their result, for good or ill. And your character? They have to live by that too, except for one thing: YOUR CHARACTER DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ROLLED. Your character only knows the EFFECTS of that roll. They would know that a lock didn't open, that a wand didn't activate, or that they tumbled right into the guard they are trying to sneak past because those are obvious, readily apparent results of a failed roll. They would NOT know that they missed a trap, that they told a very poor lie, that they're actually quite visible while trying to be stealthy, or that their appraisal of an item is off by 1000g because there's no way for the character to know how their roll turned out.

For example, the party finds a box of siege weapon parts and schematics worth about 500g. Obviously these aren't things that they'd find in a store very often, so they don't know how much the box and its contents are worth. They need to make an appraise roll for that. The rogue makes his appraise roll and gets a 9, so he thinks the stuff is worth about 800g. The character doesn't know he rolled a 9, he just knows that in his opinion, it's worth 800g. Even if the skill allowed a reroll, there is no reason for the rogue to believe that his estimate is off by 300g. Therefore, there is no reason for the rogue to make another attempt to appraise the box.

Once you roll for something, that is your character's best effort on it. Unless the effects show the character that they messed up, they think their attempt was good enough. Any further attempts to re-roll when your character otherwise would have no reason to is metagaming, and in my opinion should be punished accordingly.

What do you all think?

For those who don't know, Motor City Furry Convention (MCFC) is the "replacement" for FCN, which ended last year. It's taking place this year at the same hotel from April 11 to 13. Ordinarily there would be no question that I would be attending the con, but this year, I'm not sure. I'm not on staff at this con, and right now I'm not sure if any of my friends are attending. It's the friends that make the con, so if I don't have any friends attending, there's no reason to go. So...is anyone here going to MCFC?

Okay, so not so much shenanigans this time, but more like just an announcement that I'll be DMing my own Pathfinder game in just under a week. I'm really not sure how well it's going to go, but I've put a lot of work into the story and really hope it turns out okay.

I have DMed before, but never like this. Now I'm having to draw maps, do all the math behind CR and encounters, and write a story that's both compelling and makes sense. With any luck, I'll even be posting journals about the shenanigans in my own game!

We recently started up a new Pathfinder game. Same group as before, but we had to stop our previous campaign because the DM's computer died. Like, totally died - hard drive unrecoverable. And this DM puts tons of time into his worlds, so imagine getting through half of Dark Souls on the hardest setting, then your system's save file gets corrupted. It was like that. Anyway, in this new game, we all roll up characters using a method called Focus and Foibles. Pathfinder has six ability scores, and with this method you get an 18 to one of them, an 8 to one of them, and the remaining four are figured by rolling 7+1d10. Anyway, one character really had a bad day with these rolls, and here's how it worked out:

MERCY KILLING

The character in question wanted to be an arcane caster, and had some very grandiose plans. He was going to be up front, kicking ass, buffing himself, and controlling the battlefield. Then he rolled his stats. Take a guess. Lower. No, even lower. His stats ended up at 8, 8, 9, 10, 11, 18. He let out a long, pained sigh after that, and went quiet for a while, pleaded with the DM to reroll (who was in a bad mood at the time and said no), and then finally said "Yeah, I got a character in mind for this."

He came back to us with an overweight, tired, aged gentleman named Jonah, an Arcanist (new class still in the testing phase). We started the campaign at level 3, so we figured that he would have at least a few useful abilities. After all, he had somehow made it to old age with only 13 HP, a base armor class of 8, and abysmal saves. We marched into our first encounter, ready to kick ass. Our fighter did surprisingly high damage with just a punching dagger; our barbarian had an absurd amount of HP, was taking hits like a champ, and was slicing down foes left and right; I was doing respectable damage with Mind Thrust (I'm a psion) and providing a decent amount of healing; the rogue did his little flanking thing; and the wizard stepped back to summon something truly awesome. After the first round, we were definitely ready to welcome some reinforcements to spread the ogres out a bit, and what does the wizard summon? A frog. Literally, a frog. Well, okay, it was a -celestial- frog, but that just meant it glowed slightly when it croaked. And croak it did, for it had only 4 HP, missed its one little bite attack, and then was turned into chunky salsa when one of our NPC allies blasted the area with a Flame Strike. The wizard wasn't really sure what to do after that. He didn't have a crossbow, sling, darts, or anything else, but he still didn't want to die, so he cast Shield (+4 to his AC for a few rounds). The rest of us made short work of the ogres, I healed us all up, then we moved up to the next fight.

This time, I don't want to use so much mana, and there's only two ogres, so I stick to my crossbow. The frontliners do their thing, I manage to pull off a really lucky crit and nearly headshot one of the ogres, and the wizard? He casts Mage Armor (+4 to AC for a few hours). And then he just stood back and twiddled his thumbs. The rogue had gone AFK by now, so he was out of the fight (more on him later though), and the fighters and me had resigned ourselves to the fact that we were the only ones doing anything worthwhile. After we drop one of the ogres, and it reaches the second turn where the wizard does nothing, the DM has pity on him and just GIVES him a wand of magic missiles so he can at least be marginally useful. The wizard takes to that like a pro and starts doing 1d4+1 damage a round....which is rather insignificant compared to our fighters doing 15-30 damage a hit (and they hit all the time) and myself doing 1d10-3d10 damage based on how powerful I want to manifest my Mind Thrust.

We go through a few more encounters, these getting more difficult for casters because the enemies all have magic resistance and high will saves. In one of them, the wizard gets hit -once- and is down to 1 HP. After that, and being relegated to Magic Missile duty for....ever, the wizard's player is feeling very down because he can't contribute to any fights. But hey, we just leveled up! Surely that'll open some new doors for him and let him do something awesome! He rolls his HP for the next level....and gets a 1. If you didn't have to earn at least ONE HP per level, his negative con modifier would have actually made him LOSE HP that level. At that point, we joke that he would commit seppuku out of shame...and he does, figuratively speaking. The DM explains that given the situation, he will allow the player to make a new character without penalty just this once, which the player happily agrees to. He rolls his new stats....and gets 8, 9, 10, 10, 11, 18. He falls silent and the group bursts into laughter, but the DM is feeling merciful. He lets the guy get a reroll, which turns up something half-decent, and then another reroll, which turns up a very impressive 8, 14, 14, 16, 16, 18. While he ponders what kind of character to make, we ponder what to do with old Jonah. We posit a few suggestions for how to kill him, but then ultimately decide that he hasn't really done anything to deserve that. He's allowed to retire in peace.

The DM is probably going to be much more lenient regarding really bad ability score rolls from now on, but hopefully the player has learned a thing or two about playing arcane casters, like always carrying a fallback weapon and keeping mage armor up constantly.

This time, it's a special edition of Shenanigans! I've been playing in a Shadowrun game, and we've been building up to a pretty big heist for a while now. In order to accomplish the heist, we had to essentially ruin the life of one really unfortunate IT guy, so read on if you'd like to know the fate of poor Smitty...

Poor Smitty...

First, the setup. Our team consisted of Hannibal, a troll tank (absurdly high armor and muscles), Ragnarok, a demolitions/stealth specalist, an elf alchemist (magical grenades and traps), and myself, the elf decker/semi-tank (computer nerd with decent combat abilities and able to take a few hits). We had two others, but they were not available during the session that we ran the mission. Our goal for the mission: break into a heavily secured, 55-story government building with only a 4-man team that were all starting level and less than a day to do prep work. Sound insane? It should, because the module intended for us to ally ourselves with one or more other organizations to get professional assistance and vastly superior equipment. But you see, we couldn't do that.

We had a device in our possession that was the key to the whole thing - a pair of commlinks that each contained half of a file that, when combined, pointed out the location of a stash of evidence that will totally bring down the very corrupt governor of Seattle. The information was contained in the 10th floor server room of that very secure government building I mentioned above. Lots of corporations knew we had the commlinks, so they were offering us money to hand them over, like about $100k to $250k each. We also received an offer from an agent of the corrupt governor, offering us $400k to hand over the commlinks. Naturally, being the good shadowrunners that we are, we immediately started planning how we could get the $400k AND still get at the information stored in the government building. That meant that we would have to meet the government agent, hand over the commlinks, and then at the SAME TIME, or else very shortly after, successfully complete our raid on the building. Remember that we also had only 24 hours to plan and carry out the mission, and we were only at starting level. In other words, we had no time or money to get better gear or to do any kind of serious prep work.

The most frightening part was that, as the decker, it would be up to me to hack into the server and get the data off of it. And that was not going to be easy. I was a pretty good hacker, but this is a pretty serious place - at best, I would be evenly matched against each individual camera in the building, but it had a LOT of cameras and other security measures. Eventually, the dice would not be in my favor and we'd be caught. Plus the server itself was very tough, so I'd have to get very lucky several times in a row to successfully hack it. If at any time my hacking tools were destroyed during the run, which is a possibility in EVERY hacking attempt, that was it, game over. Suffice to say, I was not confident that the dice would be on my side for the entire run, so I needed an ace up my sleeve, and remember that I had less than 24 hours to find it.

After a good deal of reading through the rulebooks, and questioning the GM, I discovered that there was an IT guy that managed that particular server. All of the necessary credentials to get onto the server and into the building's security would be on that guy's commlink. I made a call to the building we were to infiltrate and pretended to be from the local power company. I said that we had noticed some strange fluctuations coming from a server in that building, and asked who managed the servers around the 10th floor. The receptionist responded that it was a Mr. Smitty Werbenjaegermannjensen (if you don't know where that's from, look up Markiplier on Youtube). I next looked him up on the Shadowrun-equivalent of Facebook, LinkedIn, the YellowPages, whatever it took, and then discovered his address.

Ragnarok and myself went to Smitty's house and knocked on his door, stating that we were from the phone company. Now before you read any further, keep in mind that this all started with him just minding his own business at home, not a worry or care in the world, and he was just answering questions for some guys from the phone company. Anyway, back to the story, he opened the door and after a few other questions let us in (I was also the party's face, so I was good at bluffing). We also heard his 7-year-old daughter in the next room. Now we -could- have just murdered the both of them and gone on our way, but we're better than that. Now, we had to get Smitty's commlink, but we soon discovered that it was embedded in his skull (not too uncommon in Shadowrun). We couldn't just pull the data off of it, we needed the actual device. Fortunately, I was also a former surgeon, so it was brain surgery time! (Yes my character really was a face/decker/semi-tank/medic. You would not believe the numeric gymnastics and gear choices I had to juggle to accomplish that). Ragnarok knocked him and his daughter out with a (harmless) tranquilizer dart, we put his daughter to bed, and then abducted poor Smitty back to my operating room. Oh, and we also stole his car while we were there.

After prepping Smitty for surgery, I successfully opened up his skull and removed the commlink, following up by closing up the hole and sewing it shut - a totally successful operation. Remember, this was still us being nice - I could have just used a power drill, lobotomized him, and gotten the commlink in all of 5 minutes. Now, I had some work to do on the commlink, but in all the rush, we had forgotten that Smitty had a wife. Upon realizing our mistake, which was just after the operation, we wondered how to satisfy Ms. Werben. After much debate, we settled on just texting her using Smitty's commlink, stating that he had been called into work and that he would not be home for several hours. We couldn't really tell if that had worked or not, but any additional attempts probably would just be met with more suspicion, so we left it at that.

Now that we had what we needed from Smitty, we weren't sure what to do with him. He would be out cold for another few hours, and we didn't want to just keep him tied up here during the run. We could've just killed him, but no, we were still above that. But that raised another issue - Smitty would certainly investigate what happened to him. Thankfully, I managed to come up with a solution for that in no time. I asked the GM for the name of a female orc hooker. I didn't care what it was, just the name of any random orc hooker. He gave me "Baby Triple G," so I wrote that name in pink lipstick on Smitty's ass and drew a kiss mark as well. I figured that after finding that, he wouldn't -want- to know what happened tonight. Of course, he was on his own when it came to explaining that to his wife. Anyway, we set him down in an alley a few blocks away with a light covering over him. Not sure what happened to him after that, but not our problem.

So to summarize, imagine that you hear a knocking at your door. Two guys from the phone company are outside, asking a few questions. They shake your hand. Next thing you know, it's 12 hours later and you're not at home, you're in an alley. Your head is shaved and you have a surgical scar there. You have a splitting headache because your cell phone/wallet was just surgically removed from your skull. Oh, and your cell phone/wallet is gone. You may or may not know who Baby Triple G is, but you probably spent a very wild night with her, and your wife is going to be very pissed about that. That probably also explains why your ass is so sore too (who knows what happened to him while he was out in that alley). Oh, and your car is stolen. All because you opened the door to talk to two guys from the phone company. Think about that for a bit.

---

Join me next time, as I relate the tale of our adventure in the high security building, and how we further ruined poor Smitty!

At the start of this year, I began to see some pictures and journals mentioning that this was the Chinese "Year of the Snake." Well, I'm a snake, so I started thinking that I would make this the best year that I could. And in many respects, I think I succeeded. Here's my year in review, with a TL;DR version at the end.

January - Got back to Cleveland from my parents' house a week early, so I had a nice, long week just to myself in my apartment. Very relaxing times indeed. Mid-January, I start my final semester of law school, and even though it wasn't a short schedule like I had hoped, I did have some of my favorite classes, including "Sexual Orientation & the Law" and "Wills & Trusts." Turns out Wills would be the most important class during my time there, since I would ultimately decide to specialize in wills, estate planning, and probate work. I also come to the decision that I would move back to Michigan after law school instead of staying in Ohio. It was a tough choice between my family in Michigan that is (at best) somewhat friendly to me, and my closest friends in Ohio that feel like family to me. Ultimately I had to choose Michigan because that had my best chances for getting started in my career. Once I was more on my feet, I could go and live wherever I wanted. Though on a sad note, this was the month in which my grandfather died.

February - Nothing too much happened in this month. This was mostly doing a ton of prep work to apply for the Michigan bar and get all the paperwork together. But I did happen to get in touch with an old friend of mine, Kazekoe, with a duo picture. More on him later.

March - Now this month, I started to look for a house in Michigan. Unfortunately, my searches didn't really prove fruitful at all yet, but it was a good experience. I went back to Michigan during Spring Break for my birthday, did a ton of homework, then it was back to classes and paperwork for the bar admission

April - Things were starting to get serious for the bar admissions thing. I had a lot of background checks to endure, I had to get fingerprinted and send the prints off to several places, and overall this was just a major headache. Fortunately, school was starting to wind down, and the light at the end of my 21-year long tunnel was near. It was also during this month that I met my now ex-boyfriend at FCN. It was a good meeting, and we seemed to get along okay at first, so I was a little happier for that.

May - This was it. Graduation. I got my Juris Doctorate degree, and was done with school forever. Then it was back to Michigan the same day as the graduation ceremony. I also had a fantastic final game night with my friends in Cleveland, and then all that remained was the long drive back to Michigan. *sigh* I miss my apartment.

June - Unlike my previous summers, there wasn't even a week of vacation this time, as just after I get home (which was now my grandparents' old house), my bar prep class starts. This was a 3-4 hour class every weekday where an entire semester's worth of material for a particular subject on the exam was condensed into just a few hours. It was very fast-paced, grueling, and I was long past the point of trying to keep up with all the assignments. Their method wasn't working for me, so I just attended the classes to get the outlines, but ultimately studied at home in my own way. Pretty much every day was taken up by sitting at my kitchen table, nose deep in outlines while I made flash cards and tried to keep my cat content. All the while I was also trying to look for a new house, as I didn't want to stay at my grandparents' house forever.

July - AC was this month, and being on staff again was a cool experience, but it was greatly overshadowed by the upcoming exam. Crunch time now. The exam was right at the end of the month, and I had to keep studying as hard as I could. Everything was riding on that test. And then to make things worse, the day of the test, I wake up at 2:30 AM after just three hours of sleep. No matter what I try, I can't get back to sleep, so I just play some Ghost Trick on my DS and mentally prepare myself for the test.

August - With the test over with, now I can finally relax a bit. I had a few days to chill, and things were heating up with my boyfriend. All in all, I was very happy. Though, that wouldn't really last long. I had already started working at my dad's law office, and it was not at all a good place to work. Sure, it did get my foot in the door of my career, but my dad is a horrible boss, and I cannot wait to get out of here. There was also a family vacation this month, and I would be bringing my boyfriend along. Horrible mistake there though. It started okay, but I soon discovered that we really didn't get along well, and he even made me cry on the second-to-last day of the trip. It was the beginning of the end for us.

September - Business as usual at the office. More house hunting, and trying to patch things up with my boyfriend. But ultimately that failed. I couldn't stand how he treated me anymore, and broke it off. It definitely wasn't the cleanest breakup, but that was that. But on the bright side, I was starting to get more involved with the MIFurs and hung out more with Kazekoe. Ultimately kind of a downer month though.

October - The month started off slow, but quickly got interesting. I finally managed to find a house I liked, and signed all the paperwork to get started with purchasing it. It would be a great place to live, but it did need some kitchen work. Just as that was underway, I found a site called roll20.net, where you can essentially run a tabletop campaign online. There, I joined a new Pathfinder campaign, and my Pathfinder Shenanigans journals were born. The game's still going strong, and I look forward to it every week. Next, Kazekoe and I were gradually getting closer. We had mentioned things earlier, but I was with my now ex-boyfriend at the time, and couldn't really consider it. I also picked up a violin and began to try and teach myself how to play it, but that's been put on hold for now. Finally, the month hit perfection when I got my bar exam results and found out that I had passed! Words could not describe my excitement, as now I could really get started on my career.

November - Kazekoe and I started dating, and hanging out when he hosted his Shadowrun campaign. Things were looking up, and the home sale was proceeding smoothly. I finally closed on it and became the owner of a lovely bungalow in downtown Dearborn. I got sworn in to the Michigan bar, and work was....well, work. It was paying the bills, but I was definitely getting sick of the office. There was also MFF, which was a great time, and I actually got drunk for the first time. I'm apparently a very enjoyable drunk ^^;.

December - Kazekoe and I kept in touch and saw each other when we could. It was difficult at times since he had school and work, but we managed. Work continued to be work, and Christmas was coming soon. All in all, it was a good month, and I had a good Christmas with my family. Though I did unfortunately notice that things were, at best, uneasy with my family. I really didn't socialize with them much, and hardly ever spoke about myself. I also had begun to feel extremely lonely and isolated, and began to have doubts about my career choice. Recently, I managed to pull through them, and am feeling pretty hopeful about the future. Kazekoe and I decided that we had waited long enough, and were officially boyfriends. I think it'll still take me some time to forge a stronger connection with him since I find it very hard to confide in or rely on others, but things are looking good. We still haven't had any fights, and have a lot in common


Altogether, I think this has really been the "Year of the Snake." As for the future....well, here are my plans for the new year:

Resolution: Make a facebook profile (I have never had one), and post something to it once a day while being completely open and honest about myself there. The point of this is to try and get me out of my snake hole. I know that I'm an introvert and can't change that, but I would like to try and communicate more with my family and friends. I think Facebook would be a good way to do that since then I'd be forcing myself to express my opinions in a way for everyone to reply, and hopefully find that people really don't mind if I be myself. And if they do mind? Then at least I found out and can stop worrying about it. This would also stop me from worrying about what'll happen when I come out to my family, because I'll be totally out right from the start on Facebook.

Goals:
- get a job in wills, estate planning, or probate before April
- take violin lessons
- start a fitness regimen, and get rid of my stomach
- make some kind of upgrade to my house
- get back into woodworking
- start hosting furmeets at my house
- host a tabletop game, or join one

If anyone else has ideas for me for this upcoming year, please let me know! Thank you so much for reading all this, and I hope your year has been very pleasurable!


TL;DR version:

- Graduated from law school and got my Juris Doctorate
- Took and passed the bar exam
- Moved back to Michigan
- Had a boyfriend, got mistreated, broke up, then got a MUCH better boyfriend
- Bought a house. Not just an apartment, a legit HOUSE.
- Started working at a law firm. Not a great job, but it's a start in the career.

Good times!

This is my immediate reaction journal to Rune Factory 4.

And the game begins with an Animal Crossing-esque gender choice question. You're in an airship, and you're asked how you feel about that. "I'm flyin' high baby!" or "Goodness, I'm so high up!" are the two responses you can choose from. First makes you a guy, second a girl. Heaven forbid you want to make a daring, adventurous girl or a quiet, demure guy.

Then you soundly defeat two foes in battle, only to then be curbstomped in a cutscene. Cutscene power to the MAX!

Oh, and then laser-guided amnesia. Lovely.

Oh, and then your character puts James Bond in Skyfall to shame by falling from at least 2000ft in the air, and only winding up with a sore back. And here I thought Final Fantasy 13 was bad with its casual disregard of gravity for fall damage.

And it's nice to see this game has not one, but THREE battle butlers, ready to go. Two of which are even datable!

Okay, and one of the butlers goes from being ready to murder you, to smothering you with hugs and sympathy in two seconds flat. And then the dragon matches his moodswing strike for strike when s/he demands that you not reveal how informal they like to be: "YOU TELL NO ONE. UNDERSTOOD?"

Of course, this is followed up with the obligatory "but thou must!" tutorial choices, where the game won't progress until you choose "yes" to go to sleep when you are also offered the option to say "no." If the option really isn't an option at all, DON'T GIVE IT TO US!

"Welcome prince/ss, now go till the soil and farm crops." Wait, what? Why the hell is the prince/ss doing manual farm labor? I'm all for progressive thinking, but geez...oh, because you can talk to the land.....that doesn't make you a farmer, that makes you a wizard.

There were MANY other little things that bothered me with the game so far, but these are the ones that stood out the most. Others include how you have the option to sleep in ANYONE's bed at any time, and how the male battle butler-trainee demands you treat him like a slave.

But on a good note, the game was VERY impressive in that it features a 34-page full color instruction booklet, which is VERY rare for games these days to have any effort put into their packaging materials. The game box also has unique little "windows" in the box interior showcasing each of the main characters and NPCs. Nice touches, and so far a good game despite the few little tropes the game plays straight.

This isn't really based on a particular session of my Pathfinder game, but rather more of a clarification. See, while I have been saying that my group is filled with idiots, it's really only two players that are problematic. The rest are actually fairly good, but are so overshadowed by the two that they aren't given much opportunity to let their brilliance show. So here's sort of a rundown of the players:

Ackint, Fetchling Symbiotic Summoner

This person is surprisingly good. Unlike other summoners, she fuses with his eidolon when he summons it, making her a very imposing warrior when she's fused, which is most of the time. She also has a very good selection of buffing spells and stealth capabilities, making her a very good all-rounder. Her player is also extremely knowledgeable about the rules, so any time someone isn't sure about something, he's always quick to provide the answer. He does take some risks, and he is the monk that went for the Chest of Doom, but for the most part he knows what he's doing. I enjoy playing with him.

Nash, Hobgoblin Alchemist

Here's one of the problem players. He just joined the game two or three sessions ago, so we're still getting used to him. For an alchemist, the guy is a melee nightmare. When he drinks his mutagen, he gains a number of combat buffs and additional natural attacks, and he can use ALL of them each round. This means that every round he gets about 5 or so attacks, all of which are near their full bonus. He is a little squishy if the enemies really focus on him, but as you'll see below, we have a lot of crowd control that prevents that from happening. His player though...his player wants the spotlight. Always. During our prison scene, he refused to talk about anything that didn't involve his character getting access to the mutagen to keep being that melee monster. He's also the greedy one. So we have an egotistical player, an egotistical and greedy character, and bad times for everyone else. Also, given how he uses the word "fag" fairly often, it's clear that he's really not that tolerant of homosexuals.

Marik, Pyromaniac Tiefling Wizard

This guy is our nuker. He specializes in fire spells, and can even conjure a rolling ball of fire to crash into enemies whenever he doesn't want to use up a full spell. He also has a ray of fire attack that's nothing to sneeze at. He's rather quiet otherwise, and honestly doesn't communicate much unless he's about to burn something. Same goes for his player. The guy really doesn't get involved much, even when there's an opportunity to speak, so there's not much to say about him.

Soltrani, Ifrit Battledancer

She could be awesome, but she ultimately does nothing. A battledancer is a specific kind of bard that provides impressive self-buffs, but virtually no team buffs like a regular bard would. Hence, she would be fairly impressive in battle, if not for the fact that we already have 3 characters that focus on melee combat. So she's kind of a fifth wheel for them. She also doesn't do much anything outside of combat like other bards would, so....yeah, she's just kind of extra baggage right now. I really hate to say that because she could be a great melee striker, but is just totally overshadowed by the others. As for her player, he's also fairly quiet. He knows the rules really well, and when he does get a chance to speak his mind, he's pretty good.

Alvada, Dwarf Soulknife

Alvada is also a rather new addition to the party, though here that's just because her player already ran through two others (the greedy alchemist (noticing a trend among alchemists?) and the evil druid). She's a fairly good melee fighter and also quite tanky. Not much to say besides that though. Her player loves to be heard. So much so that he flipped out when his microphone started to bug out. He does still speak his mind fairly often, but it's not often that he gives us new ideas to work with. Overall he's a decent guy, just needs to think more critically.

Sinclair, Human Fighter

This guy is the duelist. He loves fighting things and stirring up trouble. He's a very hard hitter, but still quite squishy when things get bad. That's pretty much all he does. He throws his weight around, likes to be a dick, and never take anything seriously. Same goes with his player. It's impossible to have a serious discussion with this guy because he derails conversations every other minute. He also never shuts up, easily talking more than twice as much as anyone else, sometimes even over the DM. He was the ogre that inspired me to do the "Drawing a Line" story, and I don't think I'll ever get along with him. In fact, tomorrow I'll be talking with him to try and tell him that he needs to STFU so that others can actually be heard take part in the game.

Wren, Tiefling Witch (Me)

I don't leave a big impact in most of our fights, but I still make a noticeable difference. My specialty is control spells, and then a limitless supply of hexes that are slow to start, but very crippling to the enemies once they're on a roll. I'm not much help in a big fight against numerous foes, but against a handful of enemies, I can be devastating. My most potent ability is the Slumber hex, which forces the victim to make a will save or fall asleep for several rounds. Sleeping enemies are helpless, so they can be coup de graced by myself or other party members right afterward. It only works on one guy at a time, but if they fail their save, they're essentially dead. For enemies that are immune to sleep, I hit them with Misfortune, which forces them to roll all D20 rolls twice and take the worse result. As I get more powerful, it'll only get better and better.


So that's the rundown of the players. Sorry it's not exactly as funny this time, but I did want to explain that it's really not the entire group that's bad, just a few guys that are making life difficult for the rest of us.

That said, if anyone has any advice for me as to how I should confront the two big problem players or what I should do differently, please tell me below!

As we join our heroes today, we find them in a disgusting prison. The DM has shanghaied the party and now it's up to them to find a way out! AS a brief recap, our party consists of: Nash (Hobgoblin alchemist that's kind of a dick), Sinclair (human noble egotistical asshole that's also a pretty good fighter/fencer), Soltrani (useless bard / battle dancer), Alvada (dwarf soulknife), Marik (Tiefling wizard / pyromancer), Ackint (Fetchling summoner), and me, Wren (apparently forgettable Tiefling witch).

PAY ATTENTION!

The DM explains the prison to us: those of us in the party who are magical are put in the “Day Care” ward, which is essentially solitary confinement plus a constant Feeblemind spell to keep casters in check. The rest of the group is in the general population. Since my character is a witch, I'm stuck in Day Care for the first 6 months, so I can't do anything. The group members that are non-magical, that is, the alchemist, bard, and fighter, all get right to work....towards absolutely nothing.

At the start, they ask some rather pertinent questions – who are their cellmates, what are the cells made out of, how big are the cells... But then quickly falls apart as they find out about prison gangs and they start trying to make friends. They don't take any steps to actually prepare or gather materials, not even shivs, as they wait for the casters to get out of Day Care. So that's six months wasted. Further, we soon discover that every time a serious length of time passes, the DM makes us all do a random save, and failure subjects the character to a very unsettling torture that leaves PERMANENT damage, both physical and mental. The physical damage is permanent, and nothing short of really potent mind-affecting magic or a Limited Wish can undo it. Without going into specifics, Sinclair (the fighter) took permanent damage to his legs and is no longer as good at resisting combat maneuvers.

With the first six months done, the casters rejoin the party as they are released from Day Care, the guards believing that we had exhausted all of our spells trying to escape. While none of us have our respective spellbooks (or their equivalents), the DM rules that we do still have whatever spells we had already prepared when we were captured. Unfortunately, we still can't cast many of them as we don't have much access to material components. That doesn't stop me though, because I'm a witch! And I get to use my hexes whenever I want. So, I start asking questions. I ask what happens when the guards find someone sick or dead, what happens when a riot breaks out, how many guards are watching the prisoners in the “yard”, how the guards change shifts, if they have uniforms, how they carry the keys, if they patrol solo or in groups, and so on.

Finally, I come up with a plan. See, I can fly at will, and I found out that, at certain times, there is only one guard on duty on the catwalk while the rest are elsewhere. So, I tell the group, “I can fly for 6 minutes a day (that's 60 rounds of combat, tons of time), and I can also put a guard to sleep whenever I want, as many times a day as I want. So I'll just fly up to the catwalk when there's only one guard up there, knock him out, slit his throat with my claws (gotta love natural weapons, plus he'd be helpless, so coup de grace), and then lower the ladder for the rest of the group. We could escape right then and there.

Everyone ignores me and goes back to talking about the gangs, how to get on kitchen duty, how to weaken the cell bars, if they can get a mutagen for the alchemist, who should take a raping for the team so they could curry favor with the other prisoners....

I try to cut in, saying that if not flying, I can just knock out a guard on patrol, emphasizing that I can do this AT WILL, and then just pick up his keys and let everyone else out. Again, I'm ignored. So time passes, another year in fact. The DM has already mentioned to me out of game that the longer we stay in prison, the more likely that our stuff will have been removed from the prison. We've now been in prison for a year and a half. The cells have been horrifyingly filthy, the food has been a watery slop made with rotting vegetables every day, beatings have been a daily occurrence, and most of us have been raped at least once. Oh, and remember how I said that each time major time passes, the DM makes us roll to avoid traumatic torture? Two more party members fail. One of them is branded, cut up, seared, inscribed, scarred, and tattooed so as to be a living holy symbol for a demon lord, and the other is repeatedly put into a paralyzed state and subjected to numerous bouts of humiliation, disfigurement, and torture. Both party members again have PERMANENT physical and psychological scars that will take extremely potent magic to heal. Thankfully, I had managed to avoid such a fate both times, and was not going to press my luck a third time. I put my foot down and said, “F this. We are not staying here long enough for any more of these horrors to be committed.”

By now, some of the other party members had managed to find weapons. Weapons in this case being broken bars from the cells, and shards of glass stuck in a plank to make a makeshift axe. Both weapons are treated as improvised. I'd like to remind you, dear reader, that virtually any length of a sturdy object qualifies as a club in D&D/PF terms, so if they were just holding out to get weapons, they could have had them at any time. Furthermore, three party members have natural weapons, and the others are decent enough that they could get by at least one fight with a basic club.

Having been ignored earlier, I had decided to remain silent while they came up with a plan. After thirty minutes though, they're already starting to say, “Yeah...we got nothing, let's let more time pass and see what happens.” I blink in disbelief, then remind them, “You know, I still say we could just go up to the catwalk and lower the ladder for everyone.” Nash (the alchemist) replies, “Yeah, but that would require someone who could fly and take out a guard...”

….No no, just pause there for a moment. Pause there for a good few seconds, because I certainly did.

When I stopped staring in disbelief, I responded, “I can fly. At will. And I can knock out a guard from a distance. At will. I can do both of those things in the span of two turns.” “Really? Aright, let's do this thing then!”

So we waited a year. A friggin YEAR. Being subjected to nightmarish conditions for a year, just because people didn't pay attention and didn't focus on the simple task of GTFOing as quickly as possible. Two of our party members have permanent physical and psychological scarring, and I don't even want to think about how much gear was lost.

The lesson?

FRIGGIN PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR PARTY MEMBERS! I can respect that you want to play to your own character's strengths and try to maximize their potential in a given environment, but you know what? Sometimes someone else excels in an environment. Sometimes they've got tools, experiences, or skills that you don't, and they know just what to do in a given situation. FIND OUT WHAT THEY'RE GOOD AT AND WORK TOGETHER!

As of right now, I don't really know what my character will do in response to this. The actual break-out happens next session, but he is -not- going to be thrilled that they're going with the same plan he could've done to escape at ANY TIME. I know not everyone roleplays things like food, sleeping conditions, or cleanliness, but just imagine yourself in the situation. And then imagine that all that crap you dealt with for the past year? You didn't have to do it. Try and gauge how pissed you'd be, because that's what I'm currently trying to do.

This time, we explore the problems of a particular character trait and the need to establish ground rules, even if borderline out of character. This story's lessons all revolve around a pair of events, and the group roleplay that followed. With the death of the evil druid last week, our group lineup had changed a bit. Our group consisted of the fire mage, the shadowy summoner, the egotistical asshole fencer, the fiery blade dancer, and myself, the humble witch. Joining us this week would be a replacement for the evil druid (a dwarf soulknife) and a new player with his own character, a hobgoblin alchemist. We didn't know anything about these characters other than their race/class before they joined, but this session sort of told us all we needed to know...read on if you will.

Don't Be Greedy

Our village had been wracked by a mysterious disease, and our search for a cure led us to an ancient city in the jungle. We faced countless monkey-goblins as we explored the ruins (approximately 80 of them, all dead now), and even lost our druid companion along the way (he actually turned suicidal). As we moved on from our latest pile of bodies (we have a growing collection of those), we discovered a giant snake hiding in one of the ruined buildings. In a rare display of respect, the party stood aside and let me work my parseltongue ways. I charmed the snake, we all got 500 XP, and no one was injured (Achievement! Be appreciated!). Just as we finished with the snake, our two new companions revealed themselves.

The (female!) dwarf soulknife didn't really have much personalty, but that wasn't an issue because the hobgoblin alchemist had enough of that for both of them. You'll see why in a moment.

After introducing ourselves and making up a half-assed reason to travel together (we really shouldn't be trusting random people we meet in the jungle >.>), we continued our exploration. In the next building, we discover a very impressive workshop with a meticulously crafted bone flail resting on a workbench. Knowing how to handle magic items by now, we hit it with Detect Magic and a Spellcraft check. We discover that it's a heavy bone flail +2. The hobgoblin then approaches and says that he'll roll an Appraise check to determine its value, with which he does fairly well and we get its value. As soon as he finishes, we have a brief "Does anyone use flails? Or blunt weapons at all?" discussion, which leads nowhere, so the hobgoblin decides to just stuff it in his bag.

Silence falls for about 3 seconds (seriously count that out; that's a long time for a lively discussion to be interrupted, especially over Skype).

Everyone figuratively stares daggers at the hobgoblin, and three others start making up reasons why they would have been holding on to the flail. The hobgoblin, meanwhile, is trying to figure out the order of operations - the spellcraft, appraise, how/when it changed hands, that sort of thing. The mage and I are just sitting at the entrance to the building, looking like hopeless parents trying to decide how to settle a dispute between unruly children. Eventually, the party agrees that the hobgoblin didn't just "stuff it into his bag" and instead let the bard have it (the bard being the blade dancer; yes, it is a useless archetype, and it makes an otherwise mediocre class into crap).

We then move to the next building, which is surprisingly well-maintained, and push open the door. Still frustrated with the group from the last building, the mage, soulknife, and myself all wait outside while the rest of the party goes in to loot the place. They discover a skeleton against a wall wearing a belt and holding a longspear. The bard's detect magic and spellcraft reveal that the spear is a living wood spear, and the belt is a Belt of Mighty Constitution +2. As soon as the belt is revealed, EVERYONE starts to make up reasons as to why they need it (except me, because I had no delusions of actually getting the thing). To their credit, constitution is helpful for everyone since it's more HP, but not everyone needs magic items that revolve around the stat. While they're arguing, the hobgoblin suggests to at least let him appraise it so that we can attach a number to it. The group agrees, and he botches his roll, causing him to think it's worth far more than it actually is. He doesn't actually relay the number to the group, and they never ask, because they're already bickering over who gets it again. Once again, he tries to put it on or otherwise stuff it into his bag.

This time, there is no silence, there's just more bickering over the order of operations and who is most deserving/needing of the belt. The argument lasts for close to TWENTY MINUTES before it's finally broken up by the door revealing itself to be a mimic and nearly killing two party members. After the fight, the hobgoblin (probably realizing that we are not to be F'ed with) just storms off while the bard gets the belt.

A few other things happen during the session, and in fact it was by far our longest session, but that was the most memorable moment of it. Now for the lessons.

Don't Be Greedy

Actually the hobgoblin's player was not a greedy asshole, he was just roleplaying him more or less correctly. See, in Pathfinder, you get to choose 2-3 traits for your character. These traits allow for some minor benefits, but are mostly for flavor. You get two normally, but if you want a third, you have to take a drawback. Drawbacks are a bit more potent than traits, but usually not too troublesome. The hobgoblin chose the Avarice drawback, which does the following:

Deep, compulsive greed gnaws at you.

Whenever monetary treasure is divided, you must end up with a greater share of that treasure than your companions
or you’re wracked with feelings of jealousy and ill will. When treasure is divided, if you do not end up with at least 10%
more treasure than any other individual companion does, you have a hard time being helpful to your allies. You become
irritable, and can’t take the aid another action for the next week.

Now, mechanically, that's not a big deal. You'll probably never use Aid Another in combat and you can take 20 (get an automatic 20) on many out-of-combat rolls. The problem comes when you're roleplaying it. No matter their alignment, players typically have an understanding of fairness, and ANY TIME you demand more than everyone else, people will get pissed. It doesn't even have to happen consistently, even a single instance of demanding more personal loot than the rest of the group will put you on everyone's bad side, and it ALWAYS hurts the group. This is especially true if you're a crafter or a healer. If you demand payment for your items or spells that is even one copper more than it cost you to make them, people will get pissed and ignore your abilities. This very group had already dealt with a greedy alchemist once, and we would consistently choose to ignore his healing potions and buffing spells because he tried to charge us for them when they didn't cost him anything to make.

Bottom line is that, while the Avarice drawback is fantastic for roleplay, it's effectively worse than being an evil character. This gives you an in-character excuse to dick over your party, and they will make your own life miserable in response.

Develop Ground Rules

Two sessions ago, we reached an agreement that all monetary loot would be pooled for the party's use, and any expenditure greater than 10% of the pool required the party's approval. Unfortunately, we didn't come up with a plan for handling magic items, since at the time we didn't have a greedy party member. However, no matter what ground rules you have for loot, you MUST lay them out for new party members immediately, in-character. This becomes a much bigger issue when the group effectively has a "revolving door" of player characters (we've lost one almost every session), because then the party has to come up with an in-character spiel about how and why loot is divided a certain way. And then if the new character doesn't agree to it....well then you're just F'ed unless the DM allows for some metagaming.


Sorry this story was more technical than entertaining, but the group has been getting progressively smarter. Well, figuratively speaking. We aren't jumping into traps that we know are there anymore, but we are still willing to pick a fight with enemies that have VASTLY superior numbers (we fought 68 goblin-monkeys in a single fight last week, and some members were willing to duke it out with 20+ heavily armed and armored orcs that had us surrounded).

Be sure to check in next week, when the group fights 20+ orcs at once and storms a demonic temple!

[EDIT: So far three people have sent me winning entries, so no more will be accepted. I'll try and figure something out in the meantime.]

I just noticed that I passed 6000 pageviews, so I guess I missed that milestone, but 6100 isn't bad, right? So here's the deal, whoever send me a note with a screencap of the 6100th pageview gets a duo commission with me by a reasonably priced artist of their choice free of charge! Any theme or rating, but some restrictions apply to an NSFW pic.

I wonder who's gonna get it? ^^

Currently typing this up as I'm watching the movie. So these are my thoughts exactly as they occurred while watching it.

Scene 1: Celebi in the forest
Oh hey, Houndoom! And Scyther! That's pretty neat....why is Celebi in any danger at all? It can time travel. It can escape from these things permanently at any time it wants. Also IT CAN FRIGGIN FLY! Just fly higher than the trees or over some water AND YOU ESCAPE.

Oh hey, kid in the woods....stopping for a mysterious lady also in the woods. She tells him to stand still if he hears Celebi in the forest or else it might send him somewhere in time....does pokemon follow Jurassic Park logic? How will standing still help AT ALL!?

Ah, okay, someone's trying to catch Celebi. I know they try to portray this guy as a dick, but I'd be pretty frustrated trying to catch the thing too. Wait, why the hell doesn't he throw a pokeball? Seriously, this dumbass throws this electrified net thing, when the already perfect way to catch something AND MAKE IT YOUR LOYAL MINION never to try and escape again, is to throw a goddamn pokeball - you can buy them by the dozen for pocket change.

Wow, I'm kind of impressed Scyther managed to pin Celebi down. But that scene...holy crap, the subtitle should have been "IT'S RAPING TIME!" by the way Scyther was positioned. Also, I should note again, CELEBI CAN TIME TRAVEL AT WILL, it should not be able to be caught like this if it was at all intelligent.

Scene 2: Pokemon hunter's shack
Again, I have to question why the hell this guy is using cages when a pokeball is already FAR superior. They take up virtually no space, are cheap as hell, and the pokemon inside (theoretically) require no food, water, or any other form of upkeep. AND THEY CAN'T ESCAPE! Like what the hell is the tyranitar doing still in the cage? According to the Pokedex, this thing can literally move mountains without breaking a sweat, and this little iron cage is actually containing him?

Dark ball, that's actually a good invention. Instant max-level, good idea. The evil part though? that's just Nintendo's way of making this guy even more comically transparent. Like how the hell does this guy exist in society? Does he go to restaurants wearing that armor and being a total jerkass?

Scene 3: Ash's intro battle
Probably don't need to say anything here. Just a credit roll over a pokemon battle that should take all of 2 seconds because pikachu could drop that thing with a single thunderbolt.

Why the urgency of getting on the boat? By now they probably have several pokemon capable of Surf. Upon seeing Suicune: "Was that a pokemon?" What the F-? IN YOUR WORLD EVERYTHING IS A GODDAMN POKEMON!

Not even gonna question Team Rocket.

Scene 4: Ash in the forest:
.....the boat is actually an airship? WHY THE HELL IS IT EVER A BOAT IF IT CAN FLY!?

Not gonna question Brock's insatiable libido either. A lifetime of traveling with Ash and Misty explains that already.

Why the hell is the guy riding a spider-tank? He doesn't have a pokemon he can ride that can move mountains out of his way and hyper beam anything that doesn't like him?

Hehe, nice reference to Luchadores Meowth. "Me too but Pokemon get to go naked" xD That little guy's one of the few things I actually liked about the old show.

Scene 5: Pokemon battle with Scizor and Sneasel
Nothing to see here. Just the usual battle stuff that's in every episode.

Scene 6: The lake of life
If those waters are actually healing, then Sam just got the patent for the pokemon healing machines in every center.

Yup, he's about to make a lot of money on that.

...Ash and Sam...too stupid to remember a need to breathe.

Scene 7: Campsite
Wow, kid's got a career on DeviantART.

Scene 8: Fight with mask guy

I LOLed when he got attacked by Pidgeys.

Tangent, but if this guy wants to project this badass image, why is he going for a cute little thing like Celebi?

Oh snap, it built a Death Star.

"Take it easy, you might be hurt" -........DURRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Suicune's expression: "Shit just got real."

.....it reshapes the death star into a spider-legged mech? .....okay, I can understand that, but...it's made of like leaves and twigs and other highly flammable materials. One Ember attack and it's done.

Scene 9: Boat crash
I had something here, but was distracted by my cat.

Scene 10: Fight against Celebi's doom walker
I again have to wonder why no one has thought of just lighting a match near this thing.

And I just noticed, this guy has very weird wardrobe choices. A skintight bodysuit with a black singlet that doesn't go past his thighs? Guy's gonna get laughed out of all the villain meetings.

Jessie should really be passed out by now with all that blood pooling in her head. Then again, her breasts are large enough to delay that for quite a while.

"Look at me!" maybe this is just me, but if Ash was holding my face, and two feet away from it, I wouldn't be relaxed or feeling benevolent. I would be filled with far more murderous rage than before.

Wait, I didn't notice this before, but does Suicune actually have ribbons coming out of its ass? Holy crap it does!

Scene 11: Post-fight
*Lake water doesn't work* Yeah, the lake wasn't exactly dirty. There was nothing polluted about it. It was an all-natural doom walker!

....oh you cannot be serious. If they reuse the "power of tears" gimmick again...

....Apparently Celebi (plural) are metaphorically angels now. Not -as- bad as the "power of tears" thing, but it was pretty crap.

Scene 12: Return of mask guy
XD Holy crap that was perfect timing by the villain! But wait, two things. First, how the hell did he hold his breath that long while all the crap was happening? Two, Suicune just made the lake like...pristine and TOTALLY CLEAR, as in they could easily have seen this dick laying ten feet away in the water.

"Now I have everything I need to rule the world!" "OF COURSE!"

Oh he's got a jetpack too! ...that...somehow still works despite being submerged for several minutes.

Okay, that guy should be FUCKED after a fall like that. Have any of you seen Dredd? Mask guy should resemble a broken jar of Ragu pasta sauce.

Scene 13: Phone call with Oak
"Didn't you enjoy your little adventure in the forest?" Uhh....little adventure? As soon as some kind of doom walker appears, it's more than a little adventure. Then again, the movie was only an hour long after you weed out the credits and such...

Nice touch with Professor Oak at the end though.

---

So that's my review of Pokemon 4! Yes, that is exactly how I view most movies, because I usually demand that things -make sense-.

Welcome to another tale of wonder from my weekly Pathfinder game. This time it's more of a personal nature. Read on, if you will:

This week the group concluded its foray in the Troglodyte caverns, and once again I found myself getting no respect. Due to the deaths last week, our group consisted of the fiery wizard, the asshole ogre (still dislike him), the greedy alchemist, one of the replacements to our fallen comrades (a shadowy summoner), and then me, the humble witch known as Dr. Sandman (you'll see why below).

DRAWING A LINE

After picking ourselves up from the Chest of Doom, we head into the last chamber of the Trog caverns. Or rather, what we thought was the last chamber. Being the meatshield, our ogre entered first after I cast a Mage Armor spell on him (due to the...unique circumstances of his joining our group, he was naked. I also offered to craft him some clothing because my character is somewhat good at tailoring, but he kept on conveniently forgetting about that, then later rubbed it in by asking an npc to tailor him something). Of course, I didn't get any sort of "thank you" or similar for buffing him like that.

The ogre enters the room just as the alchemist and summoner notice a side passage, which they go to explore, only to find a few other Trogs, and a disturbingly fast cave troll charging at them (the troll happened to be perma-hasted). The troll rushes forward and tears a chunk out of the summoner, nearly dropping him in a single hit. Both he and the alchemist try to fight back, but are barely able to do any damage. With the ogre unable to get back to assist, it's up to me to help them. Being a witch, I have infinite uses of a Slumber spell, which puts victims to sleep instantly if they fail their will save. I rush over to the alchemist and summoner and hit the troll with the spell. He goes down right away. Had the spell failed, he likely would've torn the summoner and alchemist apart. Any thanks for that? Nope. I realize that part of this is just doing my job, but a little appreciation would be nice.

We manage to take out the rest of the group with little problem after that. In fact that little Trog we befriended earlier joins in the fight too and gets two crits in a row. As we get our rewards and leave, the ogre again makes a few suggestions of raping the Trog women, to which myself and the group immediately reply "No." So we head back to town, things seem okay, and then the alchemist decides that he's done. He came here to make a profit, not to risk his life, so he leaves the group to roll up a new character (which we later discover will be a druid, a neutral evil druid. Lovely.).

With our group down to four people (the ogre, the summoner, the wizard, and myself), and a Trog henchman, we move on to the next location on our map, which happens to be a small camp. I manage to win a very good perception roll, so we get first look at three individuals huddling around a campfire with weapons. I advise the group that we should take advantage of this and observe them before we reveal ourselves, but the ogre decides to just walk in and introduce himself, and the group.

After the ogre engages in a bit of banter with them, I decide to do a sense motive check, which turns out okay, but then they ask for us to follow them somewhere. I immediately do another sense motive check, and find out that there's something shady going on. I advise the group again that I'm getting a bad feeling about this, and to get our weapons ready. The ogre ignores this and keeps following the three guys, and then falls into a punji trap (spiked pit). Two more guys with shortbows jump at us, and get sneak attacks on the wizard, taking him out of the fight instantly. The ogre is immobilized in the trap, and the other three guys are staying well out of his reach and peppering him with hand crossbows. Thanks to my warning to the group, both myself and the summoner manage to avoid being flat-footed and survive the initial attack without taking a hit. (But any word of thanks from the group? Nope.)

I use my Slumber ability to drop one of the brigands, allowing the Trog to coup de grace him. The summoner, meanwhile, is just using his crossbow to take potshots at one of the others. The ogre is failing is strength checks to get out of the trap, and losing HP rapidly. I manage to bring down the other shortbow-user and the Trog gives him a coup de grace as well before getting knocked out in a hail of crossbow fire as well. I next rush forward to heal the ogre to prevent him from getting knocked out as well, but as he finally gets out of the trap, they get a crit on him and he drops. So now it's just me and the summoner against three brigands. One draws a sword and rushes at me, but I put him to sleep before he can reach me. Because I'm not at all a melee fighter, it takes me two rounds to kill him once he's down, but he finally dies. Meanwhile, the summoner has -finally- managed to kill the other brigand after about 5-6 rounds of crossbow exchanges. (Still any recognition for helping to drop THREE of the five guys and prevent the ogre's death? Nope.)

The last guy surrenders, and we tie him up. I then rush over to the wizard, stabilize him, then the Trog, stabilize him, and then the Ogre, stabilizing him too (See why I'm called Dr. Sandman now?). We then take an extended rest with the last guy bound and gagged. I use four cure light wounds spells to bring everyone back to full health, and the ogre wastes no time going to the bound guy and starting to torture him. (any recognition for healing everyone? Nope.) The guy tells us that there's a treasure he can lead us to if we spare his life (and my sense motive check informs us that he is telling the truth), but the ogre continues anyway, accidentally amputating the guy's hand. Knowing that the guy is going to bleed out -fast-, I quickly rush in and stabilize him. The DM later tells me that this was an evil act, because I apparently brought him back to suffer more torture. I adamantly refuse to be evil if I can help it, but it's kind of difficult when an ogre that gets a +12 strength bonus is right next to you. Anyway, the ogre does indeed attempt to continue torture, but the DM has ruled that the guy now has no expectation of survival and refuses to divulge anything. The ogre decides to stay there as long as necessary and keep beating the guy until he tells us the location, but I say flat-out, "I am not staying on this piece of crap island wasting our food and valuable time just to sit here and watch you punch things." The group -finally- agrees with me for once, and we all leave, though the ogre takes the prisoner with us for torture later.

As soon as he's back, the lawful good leader of our settlement puts a stop to it immediately and kills the prisoner, also stating that he will be given a proper burial. The session ends as we're given enough experience to level up, and we begin to talk out of character. People start mentioning how the group is turning evil (with amusement, I might add), and I reply that I'm staying good and proud of it. The DM responds that turning a blind eye to the group's (read: the ogre's) actions has been considered an evil deed, and if my character continues with this route, he would eventually turn evil. Now, this brings me to the lesson, or rather, conundrum of this session. Where do I draw the line?

See, I'm currently the group's control mage and healer. Without my healing abilities, we would have lost several party members by now, including the ogre at least twice. Until the druid shows up next session, we have no one else capable of any sort of real healing, and even then, being an evil druid, I doubt he will be preparing many healing spells. So once again, the task of keeping the group healthy will fall to me. But now, I'm not sure I'm going to do it. Specifically, I might just choose to let the ogre die next time he goes down.

Now, the problem with that is that I've always lived by the rule that "The group is the group, and you always stay loyal to the group." That is, no matter what happens, the group doesn't turn on itself, and we always work together on things. I'm not getting that right now, especially not from the ogre. So while I'm sure there would be fallout from letting him die, I honestly think it's justified at this point. Would it turn me evil? I'm not sure. Would the group no longer trust me? I don't know. Suffice to say, it's my choice, and I really think that if the ogre even suggests one more evil thing, I won't heal him any more (I won't have to wait long. He's already talked about becoming a demon-worshipper as soon as he can, and murdering the leader of the settlement).

Any thoughts on what I should do?

NAILED IT!

So yeah, except for a few bits of paperwork and formalities, I'm officially a lawyer now! Soooo relieved to have all that behind me. What's all that you ask? School, tests, homework, and everything like them. No, I don't want to hear/read any philosophical stuff about life being a test, because then you would be a buzzkill. So shut up about that.

Anyway, YES! SOOOOOOO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!

I recently started playing a game of Pathfinder over Skype with a few people from roll20.net (a site that provides a virtual tabletop and dice rolling system for pen and paper gaming of all types). We play every Tuesday from 4 PM EST until whenever is a good time to stop. Last night, we certainly found a good place to stop when we ran into a certain obstacle. Our group consists of a greedy alchemist, a bloodthirsty ogre ranger (that I particularly dislike), a wise zen archer monk, a stalwart barbarian, a quiet fire wizard, and me, the humble witch. Read on, if you will:

THE CHEST OF DOOM

Our group is in the process of exploring a dungeon filled with Troglodytes. It used to be a small settlement belonging to some planar travelers, but the Trogs trapped them in the center of the dungeon. We have been tasked with clearing out the Trogs, helping ourselves to whatever loot we find as we explore.

We had just managed to fight off four groups of Trogs at once - an extremely difficult battle that we just barely survived. Having cleaned out several rooms at once, we decided a bit of a loot-fest was in order. We loot a few of the rooms, level up (YAY!), then come upon what used to be a shop.

Knowing the potential for good loot when we see it, we take 20 on the search in the shop, but find that the Trogs have already thoroughly looted it. However, we do notice a door behind the counter, most likely leading to a storage room. We figure that maybe the Trogs haven't gotten around to looting that yet. There were certainly a lot of shelves around here, so the store was probably pretty well-stocked. Sure enough, the barbarian and the wizard ease open the door and find a very impressive-looking chest sitting in the back of a small room.

Still riding high on our victory, the barbarian steps into the room with the wizard right behind him. As they are about to talk about opening the chest or searching the backroom, they get interrupted with the absolute worst thing any player wants to hear: "roll a reflex save."

Every player lets out a collective, silent, "Oh S---....," and the dice come down. A huge block of bronze falls through the doorway and pins the wizard to the ground, but he manages to roll in such a way that it doesn't hit anything -too- vital. The barbarian isn't so lucky. He's trapped in the room, and a huge guillotine-shaped blade swings out of the wall and takes a chunk out of him. Thankfully, he's a barbarian - he has an absolutely absurd amount of hit points for level 2, and he's still got about half his health left. Since neither myself nor the alchemist have the strength needed to lift the bronze slab off of the wizard, I run to go get the ogre while the alchemist starts thinking about how he can possibly blow the bronze slab apart - ignoring the obvious consequences of either melted bronze pouring over the wizard below, or just the explosion turning him into chunky salsa.

I manage to return with the ogre and the monk before the alchemist has created any explosives, and the ogre manages to haul the bronze slab off of the wizard, who hobbles out of the doorway and into the next room to recover. The bronze slab seems to catch on something and returns to its resting state. Meanwhile, the barbarian is still in the small room, patching up his injury.

But there's still the chest in the room, just waiting to be opened.

The gleaming metal of the chest attracts the attention of the alchemist, who, saddened that he didn't get to blow something up, decides to walk into the small room and use his explosives on- "roll a reflex save."

Once again, there's a moment of silence in the group, and the "Oh S---" is instead an "Oh F---." The alchemist isn't so lucky with his roll, and he's pinned by his spine under the slab of bronze. He's at -1 HP and unconscious. Additionally, the barbarian still hasn't found his luck, because he finds himself in the path of the swinging blade again, which takes an even bigger chunk out of him. Even his crazy high max HP doesn't save him this time - he's now on the floor at -7 HP, and has 5 rounds to stabilize himself before he bleeds out. Normally this would be a simple matter - I have a healer's kit and a really good heal skill, so I can stabilize him without a problem. However, now the ogre cannot make his strength check to lift the bronze slab, so I can't reach the barbarian.

The alchemist manages to stabilize himself, but the barbarian is not so lucky. In the very last round before the barbarian bleeds out, the ogre finally manages to lift the door, but the barbarian still cannot make his roll to stabilize and bleeds out. He's totally dead, and there's nothing we can do for him. We mourn his loss, and take a few moments to check out his gear to divide his possessions, and to carry the alchemist into the next room to recover as well. We also move one of the shelves in the store into the doorway to brace the slab of bronze. So now we've lost our barbarian, and both the wizard and alchemist are severely injured. I'm starting to talk about taking -another- rest (we had recently taken one) for these guys to lick their wounds and prepare healing spells.

But there's still the chest in the small room.

This time, the monk, our wisest team member, who has forsaken most material possessions, decides to try and tumble into the room around the blade to get at the chest. The DM thinks that, being a monk, he'd be good at this kind of thing, and since he knows where the trap is coming from by now, he get a bonus to his roll.

He does not roll well. In fact, he almost botches. However, there are two other rolls that go spectacularly well. Those rolls? The blade's rolls to hit him. It rolls two crits. He is immediately sliced in half at -22 HP and totally dead. This time, the DM is merciful, and says that the monk manages to throw the chest towards the group just before he bleeds out. And what was in the chest? a masterwork shield that no one wants (we already have three more in a pile nearby), a masterwork artisan's tool for book-binding (no one is a book-binder), a harpoon with attached rope (no one uses a harpoon, and we already have rope), and some nondescript shoes.

Suffice to say, the DM calls the session after that since we now need people to roll up two new characters, and two other people in the party are close to death.

The lessons from this? 1) If you encounter a treasure chest in a secluded area, assume there are traps; 2) If you encounter a trap, and do not see the mechanism triggering it, assume it has re-armed itself; 3) if you still need to get beyond said trap, do NOT use your own body to do so. Use a corpse, nearby materials, or anything else to experiment and trigger it safely, then pass beyond once it is safe; and 4) no merchant's chest is worth the lives of 2 party members.