So I've decided that I'm moving to this address:

furaffinity.net/user/azurtrix

Yes, registration was down but I had this tucked away like untaxed money in a Swiss bank account.

I decided it was time for a bit of a clean-up in essense as well as a new start. As a former student, this time of year I aways want to renew things; some I hit the RESET button for, others I polish up to look like brand new. Might as well begin with my FA account, a small start while my infectious desire to change and revamp spreads to other aspects of my life.

That and I'm just tired of people thinking my furry name is Black Ace (cool as it may be, it isn't my nickname) as it's the tradition that people use their names as their username here.

So feel free to watch me again. I'll probably be posting a few of the commissions I had done that aren't currently on this account. And, due to the fact I still have some commission business going through this account, I'll still be phantoming this username for a bit longer.

Also, for those of you that watch Metroborough, the account set up for the project will be staying where it is. There's no need to move that.

Peace, boys and girls~

Ever sit down in the middle of a day and wonder where you are in your own life only to realize the basis of what you call 'yours' is a reflection on yourself compared to others?

It's hard to realize sometimes that you are you yourself when all you have to judge yourself by is the achievements and progress of those around you. Rolemodels, friends and even sometimes family. Sometimes you think you've wasted time and perhaps sometimes feel your worth and potential does not amount to the others around you. Or perhaps you feel the opposite. Hopefully, the opposite is not a feeling of superiority but rather a respect for oneself and acknowledgement in how far you may have come. If you can feel this way, you have perhaps overcome or avoided an obstacle that may cause a lot of struggle.

Today, while writing a journal post - namely this one here - I have come to fully understand that I have a problem of feeling horrible inadequacy in light of most of the people around me. I know so many powerful individuals who have strength through intelligence, ambition, beauty, charisma, and in hidden areas that apply in the world whether they know it or not. I'm indeed lucky to be surrounded by such talent, skill, and natural marvel, and the people that hold such powerful traits and skills should be commended for them. They should also know that I love them very much even though I have this issue.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure where my strength lies. If I have something to offer, I don't know where my merit is in the eyes of other people. And is it indeed healthy to need to know that others recognize you for something instead of you recognizing yourself for something. In addition, without spliting hairs, basing myself on others abilities, gifts, and/or achievements makes me jealous and self-loathing. I have not given myself a post-secondary education, I'm not an artist with stunning visuals, I'm not the prettiest fish in the sea and certainly not as perceptive as the invention of a sandwich, my writing is not fine literature, I'll never be certain if I'm an annoyance to others or whether they want me around as a friend. Even if I was disputed on these things, would I believe it? The answer would seem to be no. I'm so focused on my portrayal to others around me, I think I fail to recognize what I am.

I'm not sure what this is supposed to be. Self-pity would be the word that seems to be most attached to something that rants about the problems of oneself. Truthfully, I'm wondering where and with whom I fit, what I should do to better myself and if I have something in me that's worthwhile. And, what this mostly is, is an apology to the people who have had to deal with me and this issue. I am truely sorry. Perhaps this gives rationalization (not justification) to why I get my own green monster and why I punish myself after. I huff over what I am not and then beat myself up because I really do love the people I'm around and they shouldn't have to deal with such juvenile behaviour.

I have to be me more often. I have to learn to like myself or do something about what I am now and what I want to be. The hardest thing will to find respect and satisfaction with the person I am, but I'm hoping that will come in time.

Sometimes we lose sight that we are people and so too is everyone else. Sometimes the hardest thing to realize is you can only follow in the footsteps of others as your feet will never fit their tracks. And finally, I think everyone wants to leave some trail that others are impressed enough by to follow.

If I had my way
If I had my way
If I had my way
I'd burn this whole
Building down

Delilah was a woman
She was fine and fair
She had good looks
And coal black hair
Delilah
She can ground
On Samson's mind
When he saw this woman
She looked so fine
Delilah she climbed up
On Samson's knee
Said tell me where
Your strength lies
If you please
Then she spoke so kind
And she talked so fair
Til Samson said
Delilah
Cut off my hair

If I had my way
If I had my way
If I had my way
I'd burn this whole
Building down

People read
About old Samson
As far back
As his birth
He was
The strongest man
That ever lived
On Earth
One day
While Samsons walking
Walking along
Looked down
On the ground
And saw an old jawbone
And he stretched out
His arms
And his chains
Broke like thread
When he got to move
Ten thousand men
Was dead

If I had my way
If I had my way
If I had my way
I'd burn this whole
Building down
If I had my way
If I had my way
If I had my way
I'd burn this whole
Building down

Well
Samson and the lion
Got entwined in a fight
And Samson he jumped up
And took on
The lions might
You won't know
Just how a lion
Kill a man with his paws
Well
Samson got his hands up
Round that lions jaws
And he ripped that beast
And he killed him dead
And the bees laid honey
In the lions' head

If I had my way
If I had my way
If I had my way
I'd burn this whole
Building down
If I had my way
If I had my way
If I had my way
I would burn
This building down
If I had my way
If I had my way
If I had my way
I'd burn this whole
Building down

<Samson and Delilah sung by Shirley Ann Manson>

... And what the fuck has happened to my accounts!? Honestly, I can't access the Metroborough account so I logged into mine, tried logging out to try again and I can't log out now O.O

I'm sincerely hoping this is simply FA being, well, FA and that there isn't a more sinister problem at hand here. Hopefully I'm not the only one experiencing this positively enthralling situation. Regardless, set back or not, I'm still posting the first chapter today. My personal account might be a good place to post it for feedback purposes anyhow.

The Metroborough project now has both a fleshed out schedule which I'm going to be following much more deligently and it also has a newfound sense of direction. The chapters of the main story as well as tidbits (but not the full short stories) from other pieces centered around the universe will be posted on the more official Metroborough page here on FA, but for this post, and until this problem is corrected, I'll be using this account. I WILL NOT be posting the original word document files however, instead the downloadable content will be the copyright information and the disclaimer about similar people, places or events. Why? You may well ask... Or not, your choice, but I'm going to tell you. This summer, Part I of the main project with the complete works of short stories to that date will be sold in a ring bound format that will most likely include some concept art of characters and other fun things from the Metroborough universe.

Thanks everyone for your support. Hope you enjoy. Cheers!~

So, I've been pinned with a fun yet time consuming meme. I want to have fun with it though, so I'm going to be a bit more descriptive than simply placing a species into a category. I'm gonna have to make them me and not characters that come from me... It might be kinda difficult. Let's shatter me into pieces or something...

NOTE: I'm not doing links, I want to describe instead

Forced Species Meme

Put down what species of animal your fursona would be within each category, if your fursona had to be a species from that animal type. If/when you reach the category your fursona is already put an alternative animal. Links to pictures are useful and fun but not necessary. Then tag five people. :D

1. If your fursona had to be a primate, it'd be...
Something as adorable and hilarious as Nokemy's fursona... except not orange...


2. If your fursona had to be a feline, it'd be...

Domestic: Tabby cat with shoulder-length, light hair; tomboyish, something fun as a hat or maybe always wearing large headphones, and a baseball bat with nails or lead pipe, bandage on the tail.

Wild: Lion... durh... if I had to be a different lion, I'd be something similar to Kovu because I was totally nicknamed that by family and friends alike. Then again, a lynx might be cool too, feels quite Canadian actually.


3. If your fursona had to be a canine, it'd be...

Domestic: A nature loving border collie with long black hair and a pension for studying things and I'd probably still wear tight teeshirts but also long shorts and hiker boots (kind of the person I used to be).

Wild: Red fox, and I'd be the wearing the same wardrobe as I usually do... but maybe if I was a fox, I'd feel I could get away with more :P I think it would bring out an even more girly side of me than usual.


4. If your fursona had to be a hoofed animal, it'd be...

Even-toed: Horse? I don't know if that's even toed... Ah well. Anyway, I'd be a black Clydesdale with very long hair, probably still red and as I'd be sticking with my physique of course so I wouldn't be super buff, but people forget that I do have definition and some muscle in my legs usually. And I'd also want to have silver tribal tattoos so I could be a warhorse... Just because I'd want to be :P

Odd toed: If an antelope is an odd-toed hoofed creature, I'll go with that... From predator to prey. If not, well fuck it. I'd have to wear stuff that buttons or zips up, because I'd want a nice rack on my head XD

Cetacean: Dolphin, I guess... Not gonna get creative with that one, cetacean's aren't my cup of tea... Chai is...


5. If your fursona had to be a rodent, it'd be...
Jerboa. With solid black irises and some fingerless arm and toeless foot socks. Same narrow face. Probably make me look better in dresses. I might just be a blond.


6. If your fursona had to be reptile, it's be...
Not QUITE a furry, but I'd be a naga... With my top half my plain old human self XD


7. If your fursona had to be a marsupial, it'd be...
Suger glider and my eyes would totally hypnotize you. But seriously, I'd be adorable. And it would be cool if those eyes were like mood rings.


8. If your fursona had to be a fully aquatic animal, it'd be...
I'd be a Siamese fighting fish/bettafish... as I've been deemed as by a friend. She said I was graceful and ascetically pleasing but I'd bash my head against the side of the tank to get what I want ^^;


9. If your fursona had to be an amphibian animal it'd be...
A tree frog. I'd look kinda freakish, but I'd be awesomely colourful! I'd never wear clothes!


10. If your fursona had to be an avian/bird, it'd be...
I'd be a crow. Not because I'm gloomy and shit, but rather it suits me in the fact that they are sleek and kinda noisy. I'd still have hair on my head and I'd have curvateous eyes. Plus, I'd like to still have hands...


11. If your fursona had to be a creepy crawly, it'd be...
Hornet... Red and black... Though I'd like to be designed in a quite an anthropomorphized manner as I'd want it to look mildly attractive and not so much the 'creepy' of the creepy crawly aspect. I'd be dangerous and I think slightly more prone to rage just because of my species. I'd have soft, fanned-out black fur all around my collar bone and similar on my ankles and wrists and I'd still have my red hair.


12. If your fursona had to be a real or unreal hybrid, it'd be...

I'd be a modified version of myself. The master tentacles of a squid, maybe a few more tails than my one and some elongated fangs. Sound fun yet?


13. If your fursona had to be a mythical creature, it'd be...
I'd be a harpy. I know it's a weird one, but I think it would actually be pretty amazing and I don't know if I could see myself as a dragon of griffin to be honest. Mind you, I wouldn't be one that screams all the time :P


14. If your fursona had to be a Pokemon/Digimon , it'd be...
Tauros. I'd be a copy of Rajab. In fact, we might have to fight to see which one of us gets to exist.


15. If your fursona had to be a vehicle, it'd be...
That expensive white Nissan roadster I saw showcased in the mall that I will never be able to afford... Does this mean I'm a transformer?


WHO SHALL I TAG !?

 CrossHarez
 Nokemy
 Tanek
 ShaydeNekokoro
 Suka_husky

There's a girl that wants to start
Been thinking about having a couple of kids
Comb a brush around their heads in the morning
To be needed, simply and be needing
Her name is Carrie
Been on the road for so long
She wants to live in a place that has a number in a name
Find lovers and uncut before the courage is all gone

She really loves him, Prescilla
She really loves him, Prescilla
She really loves him, I tell you
She really loves him, Prescilla
She really loves him, Prescilla
She really loves him, I tell you

To live life outside of the world
To break the cross that bears her name
She's not your queen anymore, queen of the highway
needs something better than learning away

She really loves him, Prescilla
She really loves him, Prescilla
She really loves him, I tell you
She really loves him, Prescilla
She really loves him, Prescilla
She really loves him, I tell you

Go away
Queen of the Highway
Go away
Highway
Queen of the Highway
Go away

---

Prescilla - Bat For Lashes

1) Post these rules
2) Post 8 true things about yourself
3) At the end you must tag 6 people and post their icons
4) Go to their page and send them a message saying you tagged them
5) NO TAG-BACKS

Let's go...

1) My fursona was first suggested by 'normal' (non-furry) friends based on the way I look and how I sleep, the rest just fell into place.

2) Feels that philosophy is not so much a social science but more of a religion based on more factual ground as we still pick and choose what to believe in

3) Has a star named after him somewhere in the night sky

4) Really appreciates the atmosphere of a movie or a piece of writing before characters or plot and it either inspires a love for it or throws me off (ie. the greenish tinge of The Matrix, the dark, saturated and moody atmosphere of Underworld, the rusted, warped and bloodstained motif of Silent Hill, etc.)

5) Absolutely loves East Indian and Native North American traditional outfits... Especially when they are skimpy

6) The hottest species to me is the artic fox

7) Wants to move to Europe and live there somewhere in a stone cottage

8) Does not care what anybody thinks, red wine and sushi are a match made in heaven, white wine is inferior

EXTRA: I have lost the game and so have you! *kisses* SUICIDE! >;3

Tagged:  gadas  cork  kami-chan  shagydoo  nyghtwolf  shaydenekokoro

Summer is boring, but at least it's productive in a sense. There's a lot going on though none of it really sounds like a shitload of fun, it's still progression. I'm very close to bagging myself a suitable job in retail. I'd rather be working at a department store or a coffee shop than fast food. However, I think there's a lot of people who would rather be doing that than the later. I am excited however that I've been asked to model for a local photographer. I'm a bit uneasy about it but I don't have much to lose really. Finally, I intend to get mobile by the time autumn rolls around so I can go out and do stuff and not rely on rides to work (yeah, I feel like cringing when I say that I have to). Recent experiences still sting and I feel somewhat lost, but something good has will hopefully come of all this.

Production on Metroborough is finally up and running again now that there are no more semesters to worry over. So expect to see a lot of new items submitted and some revamping.

Anyway, this thing is now updated. It feels nice. See you in a few months. :P

New arrivals, new promises and new responsibilities. It's time for me to transcend to the next stages of life. Yeah, I know that sounds kinda dramatic, but a lot has changed since winter and I think, along with a lot of people I believe, that spring is more a time for revolutions than the time of year that New Years falls. Spring cleaning if you will.

So, I'm through smoking that is unless I'm drinking which only happens at social get-togethers which would certainly cut back a lot. I know, I've said I'm going to completely a few times and people I know are probably really disappointed in me. Let me tell you though, it's incredibly hard to quit when pretty much all your friends smoke. When combined with the want for nicotine, peer-pressure does become a bitch in a way. Your mind tells you that you haven't been smoking long, that one smoke isn't gonna matter and sometimes you forget altogether that it's a major health concern. I feel weak both mentally and physically and I'm tired of it. No one is going to take the reigns of my life but me and I'm sick of feeling that's it too late all the time. Sick of feeling scared that I'm going to lose all my hair then die. If I had to replace one vice with another I'd rather be drinking my liver to death rather than be poisoning my lungs. Neither is good, I know, but I'm just saying that's how much I've come to hate it. So when I have nicotine cravings I'm gonna draw instead. That in itself is productive in so many ways. (If you're tired of me talking about her, this might not be a sentence to read!) If Shirley Manson is my rolemodel which I don't think anyone would doubt and she was able to quit smoking than I'm gonna follow suit with that specific task. She had to have an epiphany when bearing witness to a friend developing throat cancer and being unable to sing any longer. Today is my final epiphany and I hope that as long as I take as much responcibility as I can that people will also remind me of the promise I have made today.

I'm drawing again. I think I have a lot more patience to do so now and I've set myself some goals. Points in tome where I'll check my progression and see what I have to improve upon. My boyfriend is being very supportive and pokes at me to see my art which makes drawing feel great. I'm like a kid in that sense, I'm very much inspired to continue on by praise. Like a child who gets his scribblings posted on the fridge, I get all excited and want to make more. In fact, I'm doing it now while being hyped on coffee and watching the Comedy Network. It's sad though as I'm watching Micheal J. Fox on the Jon Stewart Show and it saddens me in a way though he pulls through. Anyway, these drawing activities will hopefully not get in the way of my projects, academic or otherwise. And I'm pleased to say that my high school academic career will soon be over. Only a few months to go till it's all over for at least a year. Huzzah!!!

Finally, as I don't want to make my life too hectic, I want to begin working out. Nothing too extreme at the moment. Just home stuff like push ups, sit ups, squats, weight lifting and biking. Just some things to tone the body and force my lungs to rebuild themselves. I would like to improve my body inside and out and this is a start. I might even get back into free-running if I can take it far enough. I'm gonna be a bit more in shape for June.

I'm done ranting now. I love you all of you and I hope everyone's feeling the spring fling after those flash days of the last snow have come and gone. Here's to hoping everyone feels the joy in the warming weather. Cheers everyone!

The official profile page for Metroborough is now open and is now home to the written prologue piece and a piece of line art of the character Rebel who will be explained more thoroughly in the next update which you can expect soon. Suggestions are welcome as always. So go check out the city...

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/metroborough/

- Azutrix

This is an introduction to the beginning of a amusing project that will be posted sometime today or tomorrow (most likely this evening, but I'm not going to make any promises in case I can't deliever tonight). Metroborough is a series of short stories based around a city mirrored to our universe with a twist of fantasy and the supernatural (and with furs of course). Expect stories of both erotic and thrilling instances. Some will be mundane, some will be off the wall but believable in the context of this world.
Metroborough will be semi-interactive with it's readers if there are enough people interested as to where the pilot stories are going and the characters within them. We'll hold polls to for new characters, elements of plot and other random aspects to find out what people want to see more or less of or what new aspects to experiment with. Of course, Metroborough and its characters are © Azurtrix (Tobias Polson) and credit also goes to my friend and advisor  tanek who assists with character creation and minor plotline aspects. Quite a creative mind, but as he is not really into the writing mechanics, I'll be the author and he'll be assisting with idea discussion and will have influence within the series. It is a pleasure working with a close friend with who I share and who shares with me opinions and critics on the plotlines of many pieces of fiction. Please be tasteful with critique. Show respect unto others if your want it yourself. Remember that I have every right to express ideas that I wish through my writing and will do so, I would however like to hear positive feedback and critisism and suggestions on what readers would like to read next.
As the series gets off the ground, a individual account may be opened to house Metroborough and submissions pertaining to it. We shall see. I would like to add a few character bios and there is some art I'd like to showcase. Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Metroborough and its characters © Azurtrix. Some characters and plot aspects are also creations of Tanek. Do not plagerize, copy or re-distribute. Thank you.

- AZURTRIX

This day, the 20th of this cold and dismal month, I am the warmest and most jubulent I think I've ever been. My heart feels like it's been set on fire and everything has this euphoric aura to it.
Today marks the day that I am officially with my man. I've known this beautiful person for over a year now. And now I am beyond honored to call him my boyfriend. I look at myself and I have no idea how someone so gorgeous in physicality, clever and creative of mind and kind of heart could come into my life. The iron mould of human beings was definitely broken when it came to him. I challenge god to make another person like him. It simply isn't going to happen. His voice is angelic and I can't wait to hear it in song.

You dance across my spirit and my mind. I love you more than anything and this is everything to me.

1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Yes, but to be fair, just because that person is in my friends list does not mean that they aren't something more...

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
Night definitely, afternoon would be alright, morning sex would not happen often. My partner would have to at least wait a few hours.

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The dark side... aka the left

4. Pork, beef, or chicken?
Beef

5. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
Nope

6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Yes, jokingly, but strangely I was able to keep the money.

7. Shower or bath?
Shower

8. Do you pee in the shower?
No

9. Mexican or Chinese?
Japanese... If we're talking food, I'm expensive

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Aggressive... but passive can be nice too... I think 'balance' is a good thing in bed... DON'T FALL OFF!

11. Do you love someone on your friend list?
Yes, only one romantically though... That person knows who they are.

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
I know a few

13. Love or money?
Love... But what I'd like to do is become fairly wealth so that I can shower the one I love in gifts and at the same time give them plenty of inmaterial love as well.

14. Credit cards or cash?
Cash

15. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn't?
Sometimes it's severely tested... but they are still family regardless.

16. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
Depends with who and where. I could be offered to stay in a hotel in Toronto and go camping in Europe. I think I'd be a fucking fool not to choose Europe, right?

17. What is the weirdest place you have had sex.
Behind some trees, by the water, at a marina.

18. Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?
Nope... I love the hair on my head THAT much.

19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
No

20. Ever been to a bar?
Yes

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
Yes

22. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
No

23. Kissed someone of the same sex?
Yes

24. Favorite drink?
Non-alcoholic: Root beer; alcoholic: red wine (cabernet)

25. Had sex in a movie theater?
No... If I want to have sex with someone, I like to do it with some degree of comfort!

26. Had sex in a bathroom?
I can't remember... That must sound real horrible.

27. Have you ever had sex at work?
With someone besides myself...? No

28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
Yes

29. Bought something from an adult store?
Yes

30. Have you been caught having sex?
Yes, BY JAPANESE TOURISTS... You think I'm kidding, but it was actually in the same instance when I had sex at the marina... We were a little bit to close to the water... WELCUM TO CANADA!

31. Does anyone have naughty pics of u?
Yes... And I am slightly ashamed by it... But we've all done things we aren't particularily proud of. I shant dwell on it.

32. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
Anyone on FA... I mean come on!

I'll be gone for a little while. I'm really not doing so well at the moment and I think I'm gonna check myself into the hospital and I'm not sure if I'll get a connection there. That, and I should be resting. This is not good at all when I'm in the middle of exams, but I am quite ill at the moment and I wanna find out what the hell this is. Anyway, if you're looking to get a hold of me, Furaffinity may not be the way to go about it. I'll have to see when I get there.

1- I'll answer with something random about you.

2- I'll dare you to try something

3- I'll say a color I associate with you.

4- I'll tell you something I like about you.

5- I'll tell you something I always remember about you / a first memory about you.

6- I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.

7- I'll ask you something I always wanted to ask you.

8- If I do this for you, you must put this in your journal.

Stolen from the cool cats of FA :P

Borrowed from my lovely friend,  tanek

+ = positive
- = negative
~ = neutral
? = WTF!?

Anal on Males (++++)
Anal on Females (-)
Breasts (-)
Breast Expansion (--)
Weight Gain (---)
Bondage (++)
Clothing (+++)
Leather (++)
Stockings (+)
Shoe/Boots (+)
Suit and Tie (+)
Muscle, Male (+) (Too much is grotesque)
Muscle, Female (--)
Herm (~) (Give it time... Maybe It'll grow on me... Maybe...)
Cub (---)
Baby/Diaper (----)
Transformation (+++) (human to anthro, not human to feral)
Macro/Micro (++) (On the macro at least...)
Impregnation (+) (Males only!)
Pregnancy (+) (Males only!)
Lactation (~)
Anal Vore (----)
Soul Vore (+) (Not quite sure what it is, but it does sound kinda cool)
Cock Vore (----)
Standard Soft Vore (~)
Standard Hard Vore (----)
Paw/Foot (~)
Incest (++) (twins = hot!)
Yuri (F/F) (-)
Yaoi (M/M) (++++)
Hetero (M/F) (+) (There's still a male in it, this = acceptable)
Bi (++)
Girly Boys (++++) (Might have even become my number one for now)
Butch Girls (+) (Butch ATTITUDES make me want to go straight)
Mind Control (~)
Rape (++) (M/M only, with females it just seems like abuse, with males it's all fair game. XD)
Uniform (++)
Orgy (+++) (The more males the better!)
Subbing/Doming (+++)
Biting (++++) (You know, there's not enough of this...)
Cheesecake (?) (WHAT!? I don't even like cheesecake)
Solo Masturbation; Male (++++)
Solo Masturbation; Female (-)
Scat (----) (EEEWWWWWW!)
Inflation (---)
Fat/Pudge (-)
Tech (++)
Watersports (~)
Glasses (++)
Tentacles (++++) (Probably crossed-over from the anime fandom...)
Oviposition (?)
Masochism (-)
Sadism (-)
Multiple body parts (~) (Really depends what and where...)
Partial Nudity (+++) (It's tasteful stuff!)
Gore/guro (----) (No thanks)
Snuff (---)
Hyper (++)
Zoophilia (---)
Electricity (+)
She-males (--)
Cross-dressing (++)
Skunk spray (----) (Silently believes that skunk anthros should be evolved out of that mechanism)
Oral (++++) (Can never have enough)
Asphyxiation (---)
Wet-look (++)
Mud/Quicksand etc (?) (I'm not quite sure how that works...)
Sinking (?) (I whack to Jack freezing to a plank of wood!)
Spooge (+++++) (The best part of it all is that ivory liquid!)
Body Paint (++)
Plants (+) (Sure, what the hell...)
Tickling (~)

Picky or not... I'm not certain... I seem to be game for stuff that isn't just plain scary to me!

Yeah, I said it. I can't fucking stand the bullshit that a lot of guys have to offer. Quick fucks, lack of emotion, no sense of commitment or even an attempt to try, broken promises, lies and neglect. That about sums up the males I've come across so far save a few who were kind and I have good memories of.
I mean, understandably some people just don't work together. I've dated guys that I found I couldn't stand or that I just got bad vibes from. However, I've at least tried and been truthful. And honestly, I'm tired of trying. Usually they simply fail to reciprocate. And nine times out of ten they just see another person as fuckable and they chase after it. Yeah, aesthetic beauty is mostly the first thing we see in someone we do not know. But a man can be the most amazing looking creature and open his mouth and speak to become vile and ugly. Though it is important to be attracted to your mate, just because they are beautiful on the outside does not mean they are on the inside. I've learned my lesson there a long time ago.
So, think to yourself sometime. For the males who are reading this: Are you loyal? Do you actually care about your mate? Are you really committed to them or are you just in love with how they look in bed beside you? Do you tell the truth that someone needs to hear even if it'll hurt them? Are you there for them when that truth hurts to help them through? Do you tell your partner you love them or do you just expect them to know?
If you know the answers to these questions and they all lead to selflessness, you really should be happy with yourself. You're that one in a big ratio against those who fall short of being men at all. For those of you who know what is right, but can't really stay positive while answering those questions in your head, fix it or leave now before someone you never wanted to hurt gets hurt even more. And if you're the type of guy that finds this laughable, you would have stopped reading by now. You should go back to your homepage, where you belong.

After some careful number grinding I've come to the conclusion that I will have more than enough to get me to Anthro Con 2009 next year. After factoring in the passport fee, pre-reg, hotel costs and the trip to Pittsburg itself, I've realized that if I save my weekly funds from November to June, I'll be able to make it there and have an awesome time.

However, this is based on me actually being able to save my money rather than spending it on arbitrary paraphernalia (ie. cigarettes, booze, fast food, etc.) which might be a bit of a challenge but reminding myself of how spectacular this experience will be will definitely help to keep my money in my pockets. Of course, I will have a few other expenses to pay. I'm realizing how useful a tool a mini-laptop would be right now and I'm also saving up for that small item. Even still, I've calculated that I'll have well beyond enough.

As the early plan goes now, I'll be taking the Greyhound bus from Peterborough, Ontario to Pittsburg. A sixteen hour bus ride, but well worth it. I'll survive. Right now I have two other furs I'm going with, so it should be fun. I will not be fursuiting, but I may just bring my Anime North costume along for the fun of it as I won't be able to wear it to AN this year. I just do not have the money to go to two cons, especially those that are just a month apart. So, I'll be that freak wearing a costume that isn't furry at all. But what the hell, right? We all go to have fun and be who we want to be.

So, I am very excited to go and I've never been out of this province let alone the country so it will definitely be a new adventure. I hope to see a lot of people there who I know of. And, gods willing, I hope that a very special friend of mine from New York will manage to get out there this year so I can finally meet the bastard. I hope some people on my watch-list are going too. I'd love to hang with you in real life!

See you there and keep you posted.

- Azurtrix

Woot! It's getting slightly cooler in the night (at least in Ontario) and out here in the countryside some leaves are beginning to change colour. It's time for the most beautiful weather of the year that only comes around for a very limited stay so we should enjoy it while it lasts. And in this season, come October 4th, I'll finally be 19 which means drinking and buying cigs legally!
Also, for many of us, this means back to school. I hate to down everyone, but I'm actually really looking forward to going back in a week. Having dropped out at the beginning of the last semester I've been driven nuts waiting for the time when I can go back and not be in the house 5 days out of 7. Heh, my fault though of course. ^^; Anyway, very excited!
My artist friends will be happy to know that I've been drawing everyday for the last week and hope to continue on a daily basis this week as well. Hopefully, I can do so throughout the school year, but of course, homework comes first. ;)
Anyway, I'm off to attempt another picture and maybe get some things ready for next week. Hope you all are having a great ending to your summer vacations. Get out and do something crazy this week!

<3 Azurtrix

So I picked up a pencil and a piece of paper today and said to myself "I think I have the courage to draw right now." Sounds weird, don't it? But even if no one will see what I've done I'm still frightened that I'll disappoint myself majorly and that I might be bringing a bad piece of work into existence. Odd and quite pathetic really. The only way to improve is to face the fact that you have to start from somewhere, but I'm messed up like that and I haven't even attempted to draw furry art since grade 8.

SIDE NOTE: I did this picture of this girl in my class as a fur and she declared far far too loud that her boobs weren't that big and everyone heard it including the teacher who was a good sport and just laughed. I was embarrassed beyond belief. So traumatizing... Yeah, I'm kidding. But it was still really embarrassing nonetheless.

So, I pushed myself to do it. I was surprised, the results weren't as bad as I'd anticipated. It was actually a lot better than I thought I could do. It was by no means great, but it's a good start I think. A bit anime-ish, but I managed to make it look like the species it was supposed to be (the character is a female lynx who I dubbed Roulette) and I like her interesting hair. I might post it. Maybe.

I want to get better though and actually feel satisfied (not smug) with my artwork. So I'm going to keep drawing, maybe even excessively, I just hope that my perfectionist nature drives me forward rather then drive me nuts. I tend to get frustrated easily. ^^;

So wish me luck guys and give me pointers, I'm gonna need them. <3

So yeah, I can't draw worth a damn... but I can write and perhaps I shall someday post something up here... But for now, I'm simply stagnant and unremarkable... Yay life!

Oh buddy the freaks come out at night
Till they can no longer afford to socialize
Ha, I left the party early
What’s wrong with me?
I’m at the diner down the corner on my fifth cup of coffee
Pen in hand trying to recreate that feeling
Staring at the ceiling, make them think that your thinking
Cigarettes and aspirin
Thoughts on a napkin
Wadded up in the trash can asking

Oh what happened to your imagination
Let’s dance this night away
Everyone of us is born a genius
Until we got too cool to play

I said you’re trying too hard
You must not know who you are
It’s not natural
You look uncomfortable
You’re trying too hard
You must not know who you are
It’s not natural
Relax a little

One for the drinks, two for the tip
Three for rent, the rest is for the government
Work all day, spend it in the evening
Over priced drinks room full of needy friends
Are we having a good time
Absolutely who wouldn’t be
You can introduce me to the moody cuties and dudes who act like
I’m supposed to know who they should be
Well I don’t nor do I care
Stop trying so hard and put both hands up in the air

You must not know who you are
It’s not natural
You look uncomfortable
You’re trying too hard
You must not know who you are
It’s not natural
Relax a little

If the kids all leave we’ll shut the place down
But until then let’s go another round
I said until then let’s go another round
Who are these kids causing disorderly conduct
Telemarketers and bus boys trying to tear the club up
Getting rowdy rowdy
Hey man I ain't gonna front
If the DJ plays my record that’s exactly what I want

Oh what happened to your imagination
Let’s dance this night away
Everyone of us is born a genius
Until we got too cool to play

You must not know who you are
It’s not natural
You look uncomfortable
You’re trying too hard
You must not know who you are
It’s not natural
Relax a little