<.<

I need your love!

I kid, I kid, I'd only keep it in a jar and let it grow cold and dead like everything else. Ho ho ho ho.

No but seriously!  KiddyKat needs your assistance and is opening up artsy commissions, she's really awesome go check her out! http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1648141/

I'll give you a hug if you do ^^

Meme ninja'd from  KiddyKat

Think you answer it >> Not entirely sure on the rules

EDIT: What would you do if?

● I died:
● I kissed you:
● I fell:
● I lived next door to you:
● I showed up at your house unexpectedly:
● I stole something
● I was murdered:
● I cried:
● I asked you to marry me:
● I was hospitalized:

Would you...
● Trust me enough to sleep in the same bed as me?
● Keep a secret if i told you one?
● Hold my hand?
● Study with me?
● Cook for me?
● Love me?
● Date me?
● Have sex with me?

More...
● When and how did we meet?
● Describe me in three words.
● What was your first impression of me?
● What do you think of me now?
● What reminds you of me?
● Could you see us together forever?
● When's the last time you saw me?
● Are you gonna re-post this to see what I say about you?

Answer it or not <3

Listening to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM2dlfuo-xQ
Eating: Jam donuts and caramel cake (hehe… when I can…)
Drinking: some kind of juice (again, when I can)

The world keeps on moving, sometimes I feel like it moves on without me. I think I fell off the train somewhere along the line. I’m sitting in the tall grass, its whisper in my ear, watching the trail of smoke fade into the distance, and waiting for the sound of its wheels to fade from memory.

The butterflies sometimes keep me company, but my dirty jacket and open seams are too much after a while, and a butterfly lives but a short life anyway.

All is well, in other words. Nothing too dramatic happening, I’m just waiting and seeing if another train will come by, or if this is my last stop. The ride was nice though, didn’t eat the fish ;3

The watch reports that all is well. Mostly ey? Busy busy these days.

Family conflict is, by its very definition conflicting. At what point does family stop being family? When does the person you love turn into the person you hate? Personally, I’ve had very few ex’s that I could stand to be around. What was love became resentment, which became cold, hard, hatred.

Well folks I’m watching it happen in my family right now. I think, as a child to them, it’s important that I tell myself I am not responsible. Should my parents divorce I would like to think that I had no part in it, and what happened was what would’ve happened anyway. At the same time though, I feel a biased anger towards one of my parents, which may be driving my motivations and words of advice with the other.

Today I was witness to one hell of an argument between them. At points like this my usual reaction is to drink until I don’t care about anything. This wasn’t a possibility, so I lay here, typing now, before going back to sleep, or trying. I can sleep very well. It’s not my life that’s breaking into two. It does affect me, but some part of me cannot help but feel responsible for it.

Ah well, feel like crap. Things are on the horizon that my father (try as he might) cannot stop. I shall be trying to draw a picture that captures the conflict that one feels as he explains to his father the grim reality of the world. Imagine the sun, burning with fire on the outside, but then make it hollow, and fill it with ice. That’s how I feel. And now the fire has burned out, leaving a dead, ice-filled husk.

There are things we all do, that we should never have to. Choices made, that should never have had to be made...

Good night, and happy days all ;3

So I’m turning over a new leaf or something. All of my old journals have been deleted and the next to emo garbage they contained lost to the neitherworlds of cyberspace. The new me is somewhat like the old me though, so you don’t have to worry too much, and taking the example of my good friend KiddyKat I will keep every journal I write now on.

In the past two years I’ve seen my way into and out of bisexuality (long story, that one), into and over depression, and well into the start of my adult life. I’ve learned that love is defined by experience, and so is pain. I made mistakes, but more importantly I learned not to make them again.

From borderline punk I’ve matured into reclusive writer. Amateur scribbler to amateur doodler. Cast off the scabs of childhood, though it remains in my mind like cancer.

In other news, I’ve started to draw again (as obvious from my gallery), it’s not great by any means but it’s an improvement. I’ve dropped out of university due to creative differences between me and the rest of the world (lol). I’d like to think if I were an outsider looking down on my life I would be envious. I’m in no way the ideal position, but I have friends, and the freedom to do what I like, when I like, a lot of the time.

My friends keep asking me how the dating is going, though I haven’t had a date in half a year. Romance seems to be a wasted motion when I’m all alone in my little corner of the world. Surely there are people out there close to me who might share the same views, loves, and passions as I, but the chances are I’ll never find them. Until then, my love goes to all of you I know I’ll never be with as much as I’d like. Yes I think that’s a good way to end this, my ‘first’ journal. I love you all, more than you will ever know ^^