This is completely trivial and not much worth celebrating for literally anyone else, but as someone who doesn't post art on an art site, as someone who doesn't interact with many people, as someone who talks to himself more than anyone else, it means a lot.

Over the past few years, I have been getting increasingly more and more lonely. Yes, I live in a house with several other family members, but I'm talking about friends. I honestly feel like I don't have friends. During high school, I hung out with my group of friends every day, but there was one thing that was consistent throughout all of it: I was very quiet.

I'm a quiet guy. I only really speak once someone else talks to me first and I hate it. Because of this, I haven't spoken to any of my high school friends since, well, high school. I want to talk to them, I want to have friends, but whenever I think about initiating a conversation with them, I just can't.

This is also probably why I talk to myself a lot. I've no one else to talk to, except myself.

I've had my computer for 2 years, I think. And during the entire time I've played games on my computer, I have only talked on a mic once. When I play games, I tend to play them alone, with bots. I feel ridiculously nervous whenever I message anyone, like I constantly think that the message I sent would be received the wrong way and they suddenly hate me.

I just would like to have friends. But I know that, to have friends, I have to be able to talk to them. And that, for some fucking reason, is the hardest part for me.

I honestly fail to see the sexiness of having your head crushed in between thighs. It looks painful more than anything, plus being basically choked makes it seem even worse.

Futadom world? Where's Futasub world?

Staying up all night makes you tired.

Whenever I come across someone who's been suddenly inactive that I follow, I start to become a tad bit worried. They haven't made any sort of post anywhere saying why they suddenly disappeared, they left without a word, they've done nothing to show any signs of activity. I feel worried because what if something happened to them? It's impossible to know. Then all of a sudden, out-of-the-blue, they reemerge and say something along the lines of, "Sorry for my sudden absence."

Like, I get that there are some things in life that you can't share, some things that are much more urgent than posting art or making a video, but it wouldn't kill you to say something that tells us you're fine or that you're not in some horrible accident. The reason for the hiatus may be personal and we have no right to know why you're taking a break, but it would put a lot of people at ease if you at least said that you are taking a break rather than just disappearing without a word.

The game I was playing was called: "Ghost of a Tale" on Steam. In the game you play as a bard mouse (I think. It's been a while since I played it). You're in jail, imprisoned by rats. I don't really remember the goal, but you escape and run around the jail trying to find a way out and such.

Anyways, there's a part where you enter the sewers of the jail to retrieve something. It was fine until I reached a certain point... It was a cave-like room. I think you had to retrieve a key or something and that key was in the clutches of a dead spider that was a little larger than you.

For other people this may have been easy. Walk up to it, grab the key and leave. But for me? It was awful. I'm not a fan of spiders. I've been getting better, but still not a complete fan. And dead things make me really uncomfortable (Kinda. Depends on what the dead thing is). I'd rather touch a living tarantula than a dead one. So, walking up to this dead spider in the game was horrible for me. I tried moving the camera so that I couldn't see it while walking up to it, but I didn't want it to suddenly appear on the side of the camera, so I focused the camera on it and walked towards it.

I hated it. But I was getting closer. I was close enough to grab the key and when I did, the spider made a loud sound and twitched. I recall jumping and a lot of cursing. Easily one of the worst experiences I had in a game. The game was good, though. Never finished it. Not sure why I stopped.

Just some things that I've noticed while browsing porn. I'd say these are true maybe...80-90% of the time.

1. Everyone is omnisexual.
2. Everyone is in open relationships.
3. Marriage is rarely a thing.
4. Big dick good, small dick bad.
5. Male with small penis will either get cucked or be only bottom.
6. Personality doesn't matter if their dick is big.
7. Butts > Boobs.
8. Thighs and butts > Everything else.
9. Futas are tops more often than not.
10. Femboys are never tops.
11. Big dom, small sub > Small dom, big sub

On all of the art-sharing websites I visit, I've sorta made it a thing to look through every new picture an artist submits and favourite accordingly. It's honestly feels somewhat like a chore at this point but at the same time, I enjoy it. It's kinda incorrect to call something a chore and then say you enjoy it, but it feels like both of these at the same time.

I suppose since I do this so much, I've started to appreciate the pictures less as I just rush through them. I take a quick gander at the picture, and if it's something I like, I favourite, then move on to the next picture. As I said, it feels like a chore because of all of the websites I visit, I do this for every one. It's become increasingly more taxing as I find more artists with art I enjoy.

But I have been un-watching some artists who tend to draw stuff that I'm not really a fan of so that sort of balances things out a bit. I should really start un-watching more artists as doing this can be like: "Oh yeah, gotta do my daily art favouriting" y'know?

It becomes especially time-consuming when I miss a day and have to look over the art I missed on the day I missed. This whole thing feels like something completely extraneous that I simply can stop, but at the same time, I feel oddly compelled to do this, despite my mixed feelings on it. I suppose it's just something to do, since my life as is, is very dull.

There's not enough of futas getting fucked by females with strap-ons.

A towering, muscular herm sees a lone man sitting by himself on a bench in a park. He's small and a little on the skinny side. His eyes are currently focused on his handheld game console. He appears to be enjoying himself until he sighs, muttering something about losing. She approaches him. He only notices when a shadow lingers over him.

"Hmm?" He looks up, seeing the giant of a woman. His head instantly slinks into his shoulders, "Uh... H-hi..." He says nervously.

She looks down at him. Her expression is stern. She looks him over, seemingly examining him.

"A-am I in your way?" He asks, starting to shake a little, "I could move if you want..."
"No." Is all she says. He blinks in confusion.
"O-okay..." She stammers, very unsure of what to do.
"Do you have girlfriend?" She abruptly asks.
"A girlfriend? N-no..." He murmurs, now thinking she came here to bully him.

Suddenly without warning, she picks him up and puts him under her arm. She puts his things in his backpack that he had near his feet and slings it over her shoulder. She begins walking towards on of the exits of the park.

"W-what are you doing?!" He calls out.

She shushes him and merely says, "Relax..." Giving him a gentle smile. Knowing he can't possibly fight her, he nods meekly. Both confused and scared of where's she taking him. She walks to a house—presumably hers—and opens the door. It's quite cozy and the entrance is nicely decorated. But before he could take in more sights, she walks up the stairs. There are various pictures on the wall. Some are of her, her with others, and some of what appear to be her parents. She reaches the top rather quickly and stops in front of a door. She enters.

It appears to be her bedroom. It's very cozy, clean and nicely decorated. In the corner, there are various exercise equipment. Her bed is very large, (to accommodate her titanic size, presumably) and looks very comfy. She places his bag on her dresser and places him rather gently on her bed. Only taking a few seconds, he discovers how comfy the bed truly is. Very. He smiles and looks around, only now noticing that he's naked.

"Huh?!" He exclaims, "Where are my clothes?!"
"Here." She says. He looks up and sees her folding his clothes neatly and placing them next to his bag.
"How did you get them off of me without me noticing?" He inquires.
"Did it while you were looking around," She explains, "You did not notice."
"But...why?" He asks.
"Is not obvious?" She pauses and proceeds to undress. She tosses her clothing across the room one by one until she only has her underwear on. Only now does he notice her huge bulge down below. He gulps nervously. She continues, taking off her bra first. Her huge breasts flop out enticingly. His gaze wanders up to them, fixated on them and he smiles. She sees his cock get erect. It's cute.

She then reaches for her panties and slides them off, allowing her huge cock to be free. Standing a few feet away from him, her cock reaches his feet. He eyes stare at the massive cock and she sees him start to shiver. His fear is clear and she sees his erection beginning to dissipate. In an attempt to lighten the mood, she says,

"We will have sex."
"S-sex?" He stutters. He looks down at her cock, "I-I-..."
"You do not like herms?" She asks, somewhat sadly.
"No... I mean-" He stammers, "I don't dislike herms. It's just..."
"My cock?" She asks.
"Y-yeah..." He nods, "It's huge... It'll kill me if you try to shove that in me..."
"No." She says.
"No?" He repeats, "No what?"
"I not fuck you," She explains, "You fuck me."

He blinks, confused. She...wants his cock?

"You want my cock?" He asks in disbelief.
"Yes." She nods.

He looks down at his cock. It's not even a fraction of the size her's is.

"But, I thought you-"
"No." She interrupts, "I want your cock."
"B-but why?" He asks, genuinely confused.
"It's cute." She smiles, "And so are you."

He blushes. Still hesitant about what she's saying, he triple-checks.

"Are you sure?"
"Yes."

To demonstrate her want, she picks him up and swaps places with him. He standing where she was and she is now lying on the bed on her stomach. She grabs her huge ass with one hand and stretches it, revealing her cute li'l butthole and dripping vagina. His cock gets erect again. He looks down nervously and quadruple-checks:

"My cock? You want my cock? Not someone who's bigger?
"Yes."
"But why?"
"I like you."

He smiles. But still has to know:

"I figured that you'd make me be bottom when I saw your cock..."
"No. Don't want that."
"Why?"
"I may be big, but still female. My cock may be huge, but it not boss. I am. I want cock, you have cock. Done."
"Okay, but why-"
"Why so many questions? I want your cock."
"Sorry... It's just...you're so big and strong... I figured that all big and strong people want to be top."
"No. I may be big and strong, but that does not mean I always want top. I prefer bottom."

Still slightly in disbelief, he asks one last time:

"But why me?"
"Already said. You are cute. Also, you look like cuddler. I like cuddling."

He smiles and approaches. Her ass is huge and very soft looking. He places his hand on it and begins rubbing. She moans. This only encourages him and he grabs her other cheek, repeating the same movement.
"Ah..." She sighs.

Realizing her enjoyment, he continues. Her vagina is only getting wetter with his movements.
"Wow," He says, taking notice of her vagina, "You're so wet."
"Y-yes..." She pants, "I enjoy this."
"What about this?"

He moves his face towards her vagina and gives her a gentle lick. She squirms, moaning in delight, "More..." she utters. He continues, making each lick longer than the last. Her squirming only encouraging him. "How about this?" He asks as he moves his tongue to one side of her vagina and beings slowly licking from that side to the other, towards her clitoris. Doing so excruciatingly slowly. Her legs being to spasm. And once he finally reaches her clitoris, she cries out.

He hears something make a loud thud underneath the bed and he looks under. He didn't even notice that her cock was under the bed. The thud wasn't her cock, it was the huge amount of cum that rocketed it's way out of her cock and slammed into the wall.
"Whoa..." Is all he can say.

---

Will continue this later

---

Just a journal talking about my animal crossing island and such.

My first two neighbours that I had on the island were Phoebe and Curly. I never knew about Phoebe, but I love her. She's pretty great. Curly's okay too, but Phoebe... I will be very saddened if she leaves my island.

I have three more neighbours who moved in. They are: Beau, Puddles and Maple.

Beau's pretty cool. He's a...reindeer? Elk? Not sure. He's a lazy villager and likes bugs.
Puddles is meh. She's a pink frog. She always talks about being a pop-star or something. Not really interesting to me.
Maple is lovely. She's a bear and adorable. Maple was one of my first neighbours in City Folk when I played that a long time ago when it came out. I was so giddy when I met her on an island and absolutely had to have her join mine. She's too adorable.

Got a fully built museum. Resident services is now a building instead of a tent. Got Nook's Cranny. Got the Able sisters.

First time I saw a tarantula, I managed to catch it without any trouble whatsoever. But...pretty much every other tarantula I've encountered has given me a hard time.

Thus concludes my animal crossing homework. I hope you had as much as a great time reading as I did writing. (Note: I did not have a great time writing this. My time writing this was average at best).

Not gonna lie, whenever I see drugs or drug usage in a porn, I just immediately lose interest in the picture. Even if the drugs are not the center of attention in the picture (like something on the side, out of view), I just can't help but lose complete interest in it.



Getting more personal...

Drugs are something I've been around a lot in my life. I've never used them myself, but my brother who I live with does. He smokes pot. I recall the closest I ever got to pot. All I did was merely sniff it and almost immediately got a headache. That's when I knew for a fact that it wasn't for me.

Living with someone who smokes pot over the years has made me realize something: I hate the smell of it. It's fine if you smoke it, I'm cool with that. But the smell of it is absolutely atrocious. I cringe whenever I smell it. And living somewhere where pot is getting increasingly regular just makes it worse. I'll be walking my dog and suddenly I'll get whiff of pot and start to gag. A car will drive by with their window open and BAM! a face-full of pot smoke. It also doesn't help with the fact that I have asthma. So...pot smoke and smoke in general is doubly worse for me.

Like boobs...?

Me:
...But...where are the boobs...?

My first Animal Crossing game was City Folk for the Wii. I knew nothing about the game series and don't recall why I got the game in the first place.
Don't remember what I named my town. I recall four residents from my town, they were: Scoot, Maple, Kitty and Peanut. There we're more but those are the four that I can still remember. My closest neighbor was Scoot since we pretty much lived right beside each other near the beach. I remember really liking Kitty and even wrote her a love letter. I remember that moment vividly. Not the letter mind you, but how I felt while writing it. I remember being very nervous and bashful about it and even more so when mailing it. I also remember feeling pretty disappointed when she just said that my letter was "Nice" or something along those lines. I played City Folk for I think a year until I got bored and ended up leaving the game in the dust. I recall coming back to it a few years later and there we're weeds and cockroaches galore. And that the four animals who I remember all moved away. Scoot, Peanut and Kitty we're already gone and Maple was packing up. (Note: I think. I may be making this up for all I know) I felt so sad and never returned since.

My next game was New Leaf. I didn't play this for long, maybe a couple months. The only resident I remember is Kyle. I don't why of all residents, I remember Kyle. Kyle was the first new resident to move in. I don't remember anyone else.

And finally, New Horizons. So far, I love it. I haven't done the time glitch or exploit or whatever it is. I have no interest in doing it and I also don't know how to.
I suck at naming things and named my island "Island". Yup. My first two neighbours are Phoebe and Curly. I got three more moving in: Beau, Puddles and (miraculously) Maple! I genuinely felt giddy when I saw Maple since she was one of my City Folk neighbours. My island fruit are peaches. My villager is named Robin and she's currently wearing a bomber jacket, a long plaid skirt and steel-toed boots. Why? I don't know either.

Whenever I see new characters come out for Fire Emblem Heroes, I think: "Man, I am glad I stopped playing that game." And I am glad. That game literally ate my wallet. I love Fire Emblem, one of my favourite series. So when I heard about a mobile Fire Emblem game, I had to get it. [b]And I seriously fucking wish I didn't.[b/] I spent an absolute FUCK-TON of money on that fucking game! I will not say how much, but trust me, no matter who you are, you'd be disappointed in me. I know I am. Every day that goes by, I just wish that I never downloaded that game. I would've had so much money still, but I had to spend it on that FUCKING game. I knew that I was spending too much on it too. Every time I went to the store on that game, I kept telling myself to stop. But I kept on buying... Fucking hate myself for that.

One day, I decided to look up how much I actually spent on that game and I was absolutely flabbergasted. Again, I'll not say how much, but it was stupid. I was completely disheartened. I absolutely hates myself for how much I spent. I was at the main screen on the game, still reeling. I had to delete this game. I didn't have the heart to play it anymore. And so, I did. I delete it. It felt weird. The game was no longer on my phone. I couldn't find it anywhere. I went to the game's app store page and it didn't say "Play" or "Update", it said "Install".

I honestly felt happy. I felt like I did the right thing, and I did. That game, despite how much I love Fire Emblem, had to go. That game was the only reason I had to use my phone. Honestly? I feel like I don't have friends. I have only once texted something on my phone, never called anyone with it or anything. The only thing I use my phone for now is for music and to check my bank account. Other than that, it just sits there now. Only being used when I need it for those two things. I do somewhat wish I was like other people. Y'know, having friends to talk to. But I suppose there is an upside to this: I'm not glued to my phone.

I'm just a very introverted person. I rarely start conversations with strangers. The only time I really say anything is when someone says something to me first. I'm always self-conscious of pretty much everything I say and do. This introvertedness also applies to online stuff. Like, for example, I have a mic on my headset. Yet, I've only used it once. I have friends on Steam, but I never talk to them. I chatted with my friend from school when it was his birthday. He and I talked for a bit and then...silence. But it's not his fault, it's definitely mine. It's just how I am. It's how I am and I wish it wasn't.

I'm going to get Animal Crossing New Horizons, but honestly? I think I won't be playing it too much. When I got New Leaf, I played it religiously for like a couple months, but then got bored of it. Haven't played it since. So, I'm not too sure whether or not that it's a good idea to get New Horizons knowing that I might just play it for like a month and never again.

I enjoy playing Smash Ultimate. Even though I have yet to play it online. I have only played the game offline thus far. I suppose I just prefer playing with CPUs than actual people. I almost have two of each spirit in the game, I'm currently playing through every character's classic mode (one per day), and...that's it. I have not played it with any friends or with anyone period.

I've been playing a lot of Fire Emblem Fates as of late. I have Three Houses, but I've only played through it once so far. I very much enjoyed the game, yet I stopped playing it and switched to Fates for some reason. I made a new profile on Fates and am currently working on maxing out every characters' stats, weapon ranks, and supports. I regularly visit anyone who visits me and give them accessories. Castle code: 00140-19838-47635-35481 | Avatar name: Levail

I've recently started playing Crypt of the Necrodancer and I must say, it's fun. Interestingly, I started playing Cadence of Hyrule before playing Necrodancer. I should really finish Cadence...

Got Pokemon Sword when it came out. Played it. Enjoyed it. Got bored. Stopped. Just like with the other main-series Pokemon games I've played. I have 4 Pokemon games: X, Alpha Sapphire, Moon and Sword. I've only completed X. In Sword, my started was Scorbunny and it was female.

Been playing a lot of TF2 as well. Like Smash, I've been playing a lot of offline with the occasional online game. I'm not sure why, I just enjoy playing these games offline. I play a lot of Sniper, Scout, Soldier and Engineer. When playing online, I always try to pick the class that the team needs. So, if the team doesn't have a Medic (rare, I know) I'll play Medic. No Heavy? I'll play Heavy.

Finally came back to Not Tonight and finished it. Not Tonight is a game on Steam. It's about living in a post-Brexit Britain as a bouncer for various nightclubs. Your character is British, but is constantly mistaken for being European and whenever your character tries to correct them, they are interrupted. The game itself is very similar to Papers, Please. Another game I love. Both games a re excellent and would absolutely recommend both.

I am sad to say that I play a lot of Adventure Capitalist. The game constantly throws deals upon deals into your face in hopes of making you spend money. I am even more ashamed to say that I have spent a total of: $0 on the game. Heh, you probably thought I was going to say some outrageous number or something. Well nope. I made a vow to not spend a single dollar in the game and have stayed true to that vow. I only really play it because it has some bumpin' music.

When it comes to Smash Melee, I have little to no interest in it. I stopped playing it when Brawl came out and stopped playing Brawl once Smash 4 came out and so on and so forth. Melee is just...boring to me. I watch some Smash Bros. Youtubers and whenever they play Melee, I skip those videos. Despite this, however, I follow some Melee Youtubers who don't play it, but make videos about the game. Like weird quirks, random facts, and modding. Those, I enjoy. I like the idea of making Fox worse and making Bowser better. I like watching videos about random quirks like how you can just fall though Pokemon Stadium while it's transitioning. Or how Game & Watch is just a broken mess that somehow works. I find those videos much more entertaining than competitive stuff.

Hey, I recently got Black Desert Online for a pretty sweet deal: 100% off. That's cool. The deal is gone now though and looking at gameplay, I have no interest in playing it, but a 100% off game is always cool.

NSFW game

---

Breeders of Nephelym on Steam in coo' (that's cool but without the "l"). It's basically Cloud Meadow but 3D. Raise monster girls/guys in a farm-like setting and make them breed with each other or breed with you. It can get boring after like, an hour, but it's still in development. The game's also free on Steam, so there's no reason to not get it. If anything, getting it will add another game to your Steam library, if that means anything.


And that's it. I don't know why I made this journal, but hey. A little communication is always nice. (Even though only nine people will see this. And maybe one or two of them will actually read it) But hey, that's enough for me. Thanks for reading, if anyone actually did.

Fan: Nice croc oc! She's cute!
Artist: Actually she's-
Fan #2: Yeah! I love crocodiles!
Artist: Great, but she's-
Fan #3: I'd love to see more crocs from you!
Artist: *Sigh*...

Like, I can understand how it can be frustrating that people get these two confused so often, but c'mon. They are very similar and when you don't know the actual differences, they honestly seem interchangeable.

Me: Yea-... Oh... I...I see...

I can't help but immediately...not dislike, but get completely disinterested in a character whenever I see that they're actually male or go by male pronouns. I just am not attracted to males. It's like playing the ultimate trap card:

Me: Hey, looks at her huge boobs!
*Artist plays their trap card*
Artist: BAM! They're actually male!
Me: ...

I know transgender character are commonplace nowadays, and honestly? I'm glad. But whenever I see a rather busty female and the artist suddenly drops the "They're a male" card on me, I can't help but just...hang my head, sigh, and walk away.

Not gonna lie, hearing guys moan just makes me cringe sometimes. Usually whenever I hear it, I just end up muting the video.

Me: Reads their entire bio and personality and likes and dislikes.
Sees that it says she's dominate and a top.

...Me: She's a bottom.

It somewhat bugs me whenever an artist posts what appears to be a nice sketch or incomplete piece of art and say that it's terrible.

If I drew that, it would be perfection to me. Your "terrible" art would be my "perfect" art.

A futa is being dominate towards, say, a female. Then the next moment, the female is fucking the futa with a strap-on.

That's it.

Hello. Good day. Hope your day is great. Mine? Average, I'd say. Now that we got that out of the way, I wish to share something with you. What is it, you ask? Come now, don't be impatient. I was just about to get to it before you interrupted. Please, refrain from doing so in the future. Now, may I continue? Alright, what I wanted to tell you is- Hmm? Oh, apologies, my dog wants to go outside. I shall return posthaste. ... ... ... ... ... (Fuck, my toe! Dammit). ... ...Okay... I'm back. Apologies again for my cursing. I stumped my toe on the way back here. My dog's outside now. He'll be out there for a bit so I'll- Oh, hey. He's back already. Welp, now I gotta get up again to go close the door. Hm? Yeah, he opened the door. It's nothing special. I left it ajar for him. Anyways, I'll be right back again. ... ... ... ... (No, thank you. ... ...Really? ... ... ... ... Oh, screw off with your nonsense. She's not going to die. She's- Hm? ... ... ... Oh. I guess she is going to die... ... ...Alright). Oh, hey. I'm back. You heard that, didn't you? Yeah... Some personal stuff. You don't need to worry yourself about it. Just some...complications. Anyways, where was I? ...I don't remember. I was going to tell you something, but I forgot. Hmm. Well, I suppose it'll have to wait until another time. Sorry for taking up your time. Have a good one.