Just a little update..no I'm not dead, feel like it but I'm not..and no I'm not a zombie..yet. I'm just really busy with alot of things and some stuff has me overly stressed out and emotionally tired so if I don't reply to notes or shouts on the spot don't freak out. I'm just trying to get my ducks in a row and calm down before jumping head on into things again.

I entred another contest, this time with Mayu..things were actually going okay as some people surprised me..then I lost because I didn't vote for myself...I thought things were okay as who I lost to was cool...but as the rules stated, there was going to be a picture made of the winner and loser...and Mayu was made looking like a joke. Yeah I'm being a sore loser...because I lost by one vote and I voted for the other guy..but also because...pretty much everyone that lost got a pat on the back or something by someone else...not me...I lose, I'm tossed aside. I was stupid to enter and thinking things would be nice from start to finish...when am I ever going to lean?

Good news, I've ditched AT&T with their shitty dileup and have switched back to cable!

Wors news...my dog Jasmine...she's not getting better. She was for a day or two but now...she's back to not eating, panting hard, and doesn't really want to get up...grandmother thinks we should have her put to sleep...I just can't bare the thought...

Well...after all the drama over what went down on DA a few days ago do to some stupid stuff..things were looking up..until today. My uncle woke me up telling me my dog Jasmine was dieing...naturally I jumped out of bed. She was in the back yard next to the house, she was panting a lot and wasn't getting up so my uncle and I put her on a bedsheet and took her to the vet. Other than hook worms it turns out her other problems, diluted blood, platelet count low, and other things are due to her kidneys acting up...she's staying overnight at the vet because she's in a super bad state and they are going to put aintibiotics and fluids into her to hopefully flush things out and pick her back up...I don't want to lose my dog...she's the only thing that helps me though the day anymore.

Think you all know the drill :P http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4564207/

Well...its not me for once ^^; But...honestly people if you can donate any bit of money that would be nice. Go here for the full story...and trust me, some of you will facepalm and ask what is this world coming to. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:32669907

Well lately I got into an argument with someone running a contest...was fun way back until rules were broken and people started holding grudges. Now they are doing it again (dispite saying they would never do it again)and this time its a run of the mill popularity contest only. More power to them and all but I can't stand those...so this gos out to everyone that are artist and/or writers that like to read and/or see their characters slug it out. I want to run my own little contest just for fun, if anyone wants to offer up prizes that would be super cool. Come on people, this has been done before on FA lots of times, not always the best but I think I can do a good job of it as well as the judges I would pick. So who wants in and who wants to throw down?

Yeah sorry I just had to say it hehe...anyways, someone from DA has come over to FA and has quite the wild comic, ryanbuffethas this sort of free form wrestling show comic where basickly anything can happen almost and the list of characters is pretty freaking huge....but...he's branching out a little and has kindly extended a branch out to me and a few others. Normally the ranks in the comics have a good few slime characters or those with strechy powers...but now...the dinos are are going to show them what flat out brute force can do! Thats right people, Tammy, Tera, Roxy, Mary, and Meagan are going to be showing up but thats not all, we also go Deb and Lilith to spice things up and if that wasn't enough you'll be seeing characters from MysteryFanBoy91and Kentaro21jumping into the ring as well so things are going to get wild for sure. Go look over at the comic and show the guy some love if you please ^_^

Dear bullies,

The boy you punched in the hall today. Committed suicide a few min ago. That girl you called a slut in class today. Shes a virgin. The boy you called lame. He has to work every night to support his family. That girl you pushed down the other day is already being abused at home. You think you know them. Guess what, you don't! Re-post if you are against bullying. I bet 99% of you won't , Repost this if your that 1% with a heart.

Okay...just saw the same jackass that cheated SO much in the fur war contest is shooting off at the mouth again...I was kicked out at the end so War Wolf didn't really win, first place was given to them and now after its been said and done this one guy NOW is giveing them a pat on the back....sorry but that dose piss me off alot seeing as I had high hopes things would be fair but once again was cheated in the end as some people got butthurt with things and others twisted my words. IF there is another fur war....well you know I won't be in it if things are like they were this time. I'm going to help someone else as they have a better idea for a contest and I still want to run my own where people won't have to suffer with the bullshit I've been delt.

Well the onwer of Fur Wars is still spouting out BS, now takeing back what he said and saying the opasit of what he said to me during the whole thing before all his mess started...its pretty clear I was never going to win the way he talks...oh I get to keep second place but get nothing. So first gets a nice picture, second gets nothing, and third gets a picture. I was nice and said give the second place picture to the first place winner but he said no..so yeah, 0 respect for him anymore and even less for some others there seeing as they want to give props to the winner (still got nothing against vivavulpesthey did a crazy cool job and were nice to me)like they had won fair and square...honestly I think its insulting to them as well seeing as they also worked hard on the story just to have the win handed to them on a plate rather than work for it, basickly says they wasted their time writing. So yeah, I get stabbed in the back and cheated again, no surprise there...in other news AJVulpessaw all the problems going on and was not very happy about it, he also saw alot of flaws in...well almost everything with the contest and wants to fix them...his way. I had a talk with the guy, real smart, level headed, and pretty nice if you ask me. He had some pretty good ideas and even took some of my thoughts given how long I've been around these contest things (OCTs) so he MIGHT make one for next year...given if that whole 20 12 thing is a load of crap. I might enter it and I might not, really depends on a few things but that won't happen for a good while. Now dose this mean I hold a grudge against the Fur Wars and the onwer? Fuck no, I don't roll like that...yeah I am pissed as hell with him and a few others that were in it and I will speak my mind but I'm not about to go about trying to fuck things up. The OCTs on DA are WAY harder than this thing could ever be...hell alot of my friends into OCTs laughed about it as they hate open vote stuff, but I gave it a shot anyway and got burned so I leaned a lesson. Now, I'm going to go shoot alot of stuff in Borderlands 2 to take some stress out before I get a hurneya from the stress. Take it easy people.

Well its over, Tammy lost badly. War Wolf's owner made a great story...but because of a sore loser from the last round starting a argument with me the owner kicked me out so yeah...dispite last round the OWNER showed my work ahead of time to who I was faceing, breaking his own rules...so yeah...that gets a pass over but this doesn't, real fair. I can't remember how meany times I've been cheated in things like this....its just too fucking much. Whatever, the asshole that bitched about things, dropped out, then wants to get mouthy with me got what he wanted, I lost. Again who I faced has nothing to do with it, they had a GREAT story and I mean that, I really liked it and knew they would win....but not like this...for this back handed bullshit where no one is looking...yeah...its very clear it was set up...so yeah, everyone now knows Tammy is weak as they wanted her to be.

Its it bad that I want to scream and cry right now because of all this bullshit?

Now..dispite most of you I don't think read my journals or anything, given I have like 200+ watchers and rarely anyone says a damn thing...would still like to ask something. Lately I've been back into OCTs over on DA and so far doing pretty good [that last one doesn't count as it was full of cheating assholes] and I would like to know if any of you would like to see my work once things are settled, win or lose?

Okay, it seems that my former friend finally blocked me here on FA over this stupid ass shit. I'm not going to say who..but honestly this really is stupid and she is buying into lies without useing common seans. She gets handed a 2 year old chat log on SL witch everyone knows are VERY easy to fake, of me saying I was going to find where she lives and kill her...few problems with that. 1. As I said, SL chat logs are VERY easy to fake unless you see them typed up right infront of you. 2. I may be emo and depressed at times but I'm NOT some psyco killer. I may get to a very low point at times because of things but I would rather hurt MYSELF than others...also, if I tried to I'm very sure anyone could kick my ass without really breaking a sweat. 3. I already know where she lives as she gave me her street address just last year so I could send her and a friend she rooms with stuff for christmas...atleast 40 bucks worth if you count shipping so if I wanted to do any harm to her..wouldn't I have done that a while ago rather than send her a bunch of stuff for christmas? It just really hurts that someone I've been freinds with for 4 YEARS would beleave something brought up out of the blue and not look into this, like where did the log come from, who copyed it, was this taken from a RP (we used to do that alot in SL) or like meany others around her think its all a setup just to start trouble. It just feels like I've wasted alot of time, money, and my feelings with this person and she and her friends don't care what so ever. Rather than look into matters like any other person would they just took what they saw in this and cast me out of their lives labling me a psycopath. They refuse to talk about this with anyone to talk some sens into them and they have blocked me compleatly so they won't take my side of the story and I honestly really should take the advise people have given me. Just walk away and forget about these people as they were never really my friends if they want to buy into a lie at the drop of a hat....but you know...when you get to know someone for 4 years, open up and share things with them and they do the same, try to be there for them when they need a shoulder to cry on, try to take their advise (granted it takes beating it into my head but I still remember it very well) you honestly don't want to lose a friend like that. I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

Edit: Well one of the former friends still has a picture up she did for me but refuses to take it down even when I asked nicely. She blocked me right after and took down what I said. She like the others doesn't want to question the lies and just takes them at face value. I honestly don't know what to do...I want my friends back but I'm also angry they would do this to me..

Well..this past weekend a bunch of my friends, one of witch got to know me for 4 years desided to turn on me. Why? Because they belived a 2 year old chat log on SL that can be faked real easy and they know this and gosip from someone, bot of witch they have nothing to back any of it up. I'm not going to point fingers, no point in doing that...but I will say this. This showed me if they are willing to belive stuff so easy and not hear me out then they were never my friends or so say people I really trust. During all this, others have been by me giveing me advise and hearing me out, some trying to fix this mess and some telling me to just wipe these people from my life....considering they have blocked me everywhere online and from what I've been told are dismissing every bit of logic put infront of them and ignoring common sens that I should go with the first choise. To my real friends here on FA [most on DA but I'll thank them when I see them] Corrupted-Mooch  doomofraven  firefly8083  GreenLegend and  SerenityHalfbreed Thank you so much, you are my real friends and I cherish all the time I get to spend talking with each of you.

Okay...given the contests/tournaments that have been going on..not all of them being very fair or being WAY too picky with who gets in [look on DA and you'll see] I'm wanting to start one but ofcorse it can't be just me and unless people are happy to donate prizes then this is just something for fun and can be thought of as like a free art or story trade. Now like I've seen on FA the only one that really picks up alot of people is the VOCT or vore original character tournament so for this..given FA is lighter on stuff than DA, think we all know that pretty well, had the idea for a fight tournament but you don't win by KO, thats too easy and not meany want to be beat to a bloody mess...so heres the deal. Its still a fighting tournament so got to have a good fight, but the only way to win is to somehow make the person you're faceing orgasm. I told this idea to SummBunand ofcorse she liked the idea alot. While some might not like that this would be like an experament, if people like it and have ideas for maybe another I could do it once a year thing and could change to other tasts.

Well..for some reason for the past week or two I've been haveing random people try to add me to yahoo or send me a link to somewhere.. Now you would think I just ignore them right, put them on the block list? Well you're right..but I can't do it anymore. I just found out that yahoo has a cut off number when it comes to blocking people, after that you're shit out of luck unless I take some of the past random people off..and there is ALOT of them and that means they can IM me again. So I had to change my settings to block everyone on my list..that might bite me back later..but for now its better than letting these punks keep pestering me.

Seeing as a few people I knew have passed on....and the thought of ending my life right now is so strong..I figured best to give my characters who I know will be respctful with them better than I was and best to pass them on to someone rather than they go with me.

With Tammy and Jessica I'd leave them with Daigeras he likes dinos and I know he likes them No point in saying I'd leave Meagan with him a he co owners the right to her so he will have full rights once I'm gone.
With Blaze Mangus and the outsiders dispite haveing few pictures with them, I'd leave them with knuckles6kbecause I trust her the most anymore.
And lastly I'd leave Deb and Lilith to Lew-Legendbecause I know he would respect them.

Edit: I've put the knife down for now..but the will still stands how it is with who my characters would go to.

Well the results for my first solo OCT came out and I lost...now I know what some of you are thinking "Oh he's going to rant and cry about it" Well..yeah I am...honestly it was bad from the start. First person kept stalling so the OCT got dragged on for nearly 4 MONTHS and they copyed good chunks of my work word for word. Now I got the win for that..but the next round...I had to write about faceing a demi god that could do all sorts of stuff and with Meagan haveing 0 powers everything she could do he would counter compleatly..but thats not all. Seems the person I was faceing also gave Meagan powers and changed her a good bit so she basickly wasn't Meagan anymore, not the one I entred. She got kicked around like you would see out of DBZ and get up all okay...not right at all. Now I could take a few mistakes with Meagan, it happens..but to compleatly change her to fit your needs is not how a OCT works...but now I'm out and my trust in OCT judges is lower than befor considering this took 3 MONTHS to wait just for round TWO to finish.. If it was a fair even entry I wouldn't feel so bad..but even from the start alot of friends said I should drop out as faceing a super powerful god character was just going to end badly anyway...boy I really should have listened to my friends this time.

Just because I feel like starting something besides a rant :P Heres how it works, Meagan Deb and the Glock sisters will answer any 10 questions you have, the only catch is you have to do the same thing in a journal and let people ask your characters 10 questions and post a link to your journal and tag 10 other people. Seem fair?

Meagan: Yay! This is going to be fun!
Deb: Hsss... [Whatever..this is a waste of my time..]
Roxy: Oh my miss Tera, we have to give out our secrets.
Tera: Well, maybe not ALL of our secrets, miss Roxy. Have to keep our fans wanting oh so much more.
Jessica: Oh my..
Tammy: Not this shit again..okay fine.

Well seeing as no one gives a care about any journal I put up unless I'm angry or ranting..I'll do just that... For the longest time on both DA and here on FA I keep seeing these contests or tournaments pop up like crazy...and 9 times out of 10 the people that win cheat like all hell and they get away with it. No one ever questions things, the owners never lay down the law with the rules they have made, nope these people do whatever they can to get what they want and nothing bad ever happens to them. Few times now I've entred for free art here, someone offering to do like 100 free pictures and I'm one of the lucky few that get in there befor the number cutoff...then later on it turns out they gave half the entrys to people not even on FA so then people below the 50 mark get nothing...like thats fair? All these OCTs popping up, most of the time people godmod like crazy in them makeing who they are faceing look like a compleat wimp and then when they do win they rub it in like they really earned that victory...bullshit I say. I've wanted to hold a contest or tournaments for years now but I honestly don't see the point anymore considering people enjoy things being unfair so much and the fact no one really gives a damn to talk to me about it or help -_-

Well I know no one here really gives a care about that stuff unless you count that vore OCT..but I don't care so meh, deal with it :P

As stated in the last journal a friend and I needed help picking characters for a romance OCT on DA...scores are in...Crimson and Deb will be entering. No love for the big girls in glasses so the small girls are going to have at it, wish the shrimps luck.

As for other stuff, I passed the first round of my first solo OCT with a more grown up Meagan [who still is co owned with my friend  Daiger] I just had to up her age some so she could enter. First round she fought a tough knight girl that knew magic...round two she has to fight a demigod that can manipulate gravity and time to an extent. I'll be posting the finished works as I can when the results come out, no point in posting something here if it doesn't happen, atleast to me anyway.

Lately a new friend on DA and I are planning on entering a OCT together (Original Character Tournament) Its sort of a odd consept, its like one of those old 80's dating gameshows sept there is a little bit of fighting here and there in it. Now we're all more than ready for it...but we've hit one little snag... We don't know who to enter. My friend has two girls she can't deside on as do I...so...we both want to hear the feedback from others. The picture will be moved to scraps later on once we pick the team to go on but..we do want feedback guys, let us know please. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7382684/

Just to clear things up, I'm not pareing Deb and Jessica together. One of my girls has to deal up with my friend's as we are going as a pair.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:22738048 I do this SO much

Just like it sounds people http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2849746/