https://itaku.ee/profile/bleh1245

https://furrynetwork.com/bleh1245/

These are still VERY work in progress because moving is a pain in the ass. I'll pretty them up later eventually though.

...Are doomed to repeat it.

Yeah, no doubt you've seen the new policy if you haven't been living under a rock.
It always feels like nobody learns from others' mistakes these days. My old home was Tumblr, and they infamously shitcanned smut on the site, which literally devalued the site from over a billion to a few million.
And now my new home is making a very similar mistake, with an incredibly restrictive policy that alienates most of the people on this site.
I'm not going to go into detail on the new policy itself, countless others have said it better than I ever could. That said, if any of my art winds up getting me suspended, I will be locking, if not outright deleting, this account. I do not have the energy to be dealing with this kind of BS.
Frankly, I don't know where else to go. I get very little traction on Inkbunny, I do not like how things are handled on e6, and Twitter is a toxic hellhole. And like, I don't know what else there is.
Guess I'll just have to wait and see how everything pans out...

For a while now, I've been thinking about rebranding. "bleh1245" was never meant to stick, it was just something I went with until could think of better name. The only reason it stuck was because it was what people knew me by; I didn't want to confuse people by changing it all of a sudden like a lot of artists tend to do.

I've finally gotten through suicidal depression (though I still struggle with anxiety and focusing), but I think it's time for a name change anyway. I want to leave my current name behind and start some new, hopefully better memories. I'll still the egg laying fetishist you followed me for, but with a different name.

I am working on a project for an art pack from a fellow artist and I'm strongly considering changing names before the pack is released. But time will tell whether or not I actually do so.

So, let's keep this journal short: 2020 was a shit year, and was a major contributor to why I hadn't done anything this year, along with not having a room of my own.

Hopefully the latter will change very soon, plus I finally have someone who can help me with art. Here's to hoping I can actually be more productive this year.

Hoo boy. As I'm sure you may remember in last year's journal post, I said, for last year's resolution, that I need to work on more art.

Boy that sure went poorly didn't it?

I did, like, 3 unique pieces, 2 of which weren't even truly complete by my standards.
My goal was 20.


Yeah


Once again, one of my major problems has been depression and anxiety, though since late November I've been taking a medication that's been helping significantly with that. Hopefully it'll get me through doing art again as well.

Another major problem I believe to be why I did very little last year, is that I always seem to do worse when I set myself a time sensitive goal for myself, regardless of how much time I've given myself. I'm not making that same mistake this year.

Like I said last year, I have lots of learning to do, and I need to take such seriously this time. This might mean that I may not post art very often, but, considering the amount I posted last year, I hope that won't be much of an issue.

Luckily, this time, I know several artists who're willing to help me, as well as having the anime episodes to help me study the Pokemon. So here's to hoping that this year I'll actually make progress.

As I'm sure you know, Tumblr decided to shit itself with it's new policy changes, so I've decided that it's time that I should... for lack of a better way of putting it, "reboot" myself.

I need to try to get myself together and do more art. I have a few things in my scraps, but it's not much, they're just unfinished WIPs, and they're really old. I've been horribly procrastinating at doing art (mostly because of depression and anxiety, but I digress), and I really need to get in gear.

I don't normally do New Years resolutions, but I've decided that my resolution for this year is to do a minimum of a certain number of finished art pieces. I'll be keeping this number secret for now to reduce pressure on myself, but I'll reveal it at the end of this year so that you'll eventually know whether or not I met my personal goal or not.

---

However... before I get too far into doing art, I want to learn how to do backgrounds. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that a good background can turn a mediocre piece of art into a decent one.
...The thing is, I have zero experience in doing backgrounds.

I want to ask you all if any of you know of an artist, maybe a friend or something, that could perhaps teach me how to do backgrounds. I'm not particularly fantastic when it comes to learning via tutorials and I just feel I'd be better off with one-on-one teaching. I don't have terribly much money, but I'm willing to part with SOME money if necessary.
I don't have much hope, but I figure I may as well ask, just in case.