i hope i can win a free fox one!

http://www.patreon.com/foxfeather

hope i win a free one but even if i don't you should help support because really nice person with wonderful arts deserve support!

so those few of you who keep in contact know i'm a fox bear tar and i'm working on making my sona more bear so....
help me win this please!!! http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11694794/
it is an awesome opportunity and i want to be more bear

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5043361/

dude totally check out this artist but don't enter because then it is more competition for me! lol

nabbed from  Bloodwriter



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Where are you staying?
The Doubletree, attached to the con.

What day are you getting there?
Friday through Sunday

Who will you be with?
 linkinsbane  BloodWriter  levay_tiger

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
depends what mood i'm in >.> ^^ probably BloodWriter and whoever decides to gravitate to her

Are there any panels you might be attending?
probably that art ones and any others that seem fun and entertaining

Will you be suiting?
in my own cool sexy way =p so face paint and a partial partial

How old are you?
turning 20 @_@

How tall are you?
5'4 ^w^

Can I talk to you?
>.> we'll see if you're worthy

Can I touch you?
if you can catch me >w>

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
HAH we'll see

How can I find you?
probably gunna be surrounded by a mob with BloodWriter so find the center of the mob lol

Can I visit your room?
if i find you worthy. plus my roommates apparently pee on everything thats theirs so you may not want to

Can I buy you drinks?
hell ya! for i am a broke bitch.. lol

Can I give you stuff?
just nothing creepy like a dildo or a wedding right >.>
otherwise, buy away!

Are you nice?
depends my mood ^w^ i can be quite loving and affectionate... or i can be bitchy and sarcastic so depends on when you catch me =p good luck

How long are you going?
The whole weekend!

Do you have an artist table?
no

Will you have art in the Art Show? General or Adult sections?
Not yet

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
if you surprise glomp me then prepare to die but just a simple wave or compliment tends to un-arm me ^^

Where will you be most of the time during the days?
kinda getting stalker ish with these questions aren't ya ;>.>

What/where will you be eating?
anywhere where a cutie can buy me foods ^^; that or anywhere cheap so i don't break bank

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
if you're buying! lol can't afford to cater to mooches so Just don't be a downer or a creeper and sure!

Can I take a picture of you?
i suppose

When you go to RMFC, what do you like to buy?
anything that will fit my fancy i suppose ^^;



=3 hope to see you all there!

rant time:

HOW the hell am I supposed to pay for college in cash, pay for my own stuff like cloths, save for getting an apartment, and pay for my cat's stuff if my mother keeps wanting me to pay for a bunch of other stuff that was never agreed upon!!!!

she's the one who made me go to the doctor so why should i have to pay the $300 bill for that?! she's the one who insists on driving me certain places so why should i pay for gas as much as i do?! she is the one who blows her money on books and beads so why should i be punished for her stupidity with money?!?!?!

grrrr its just so frustrating because as soon as i actually start to make money and feel like i can breath and not have panic attacks about the future, she sticks me with a bill!! its like one step forward and 2 steps back!! i'm trying to get a second job with consistent hours that won't conflict with school and that won't stress me to death.

chu i just want to know what to expect. i can deal with the bills i'm stuck with, its just that feeling of security being pulled out from under my feet that is the hardest each time.

.. i need a hug..

this week i have been forgetting everything!!!

Sunday- i forgot to email all the art club about Mondays meeting and i forgot to roll down the trash and recycle for pick up, which my mom was pissed about on Monday when she found out

Monday- i forgot my phone at home so i couldn't text them about the meeting either, i forgot to deposit some checks that has money my mom really needs, and i forgot i had a math quiz

Tuesday- i forgot the hw we had to do for art and i left my wallet at my mate's dorm when i should have brought it so i could buy some more art supplies

Wednesday- apparently i forgot to put away the big bowl of pasta and chicken i JUST MADE last night to feed my mother and i for lunch and dinner today but because i left it out, mom threw it away saying it went bad... plus i can't find these gem things for the Valentines day club stuff i'm doing tomorrow..

lets see what else i forget today and the rest of the week ;-; this really sucks...

ok its pretty much midterms week+pms+money issues+mom issues+ no one's shoulder to really cry on so here i sit. if you don't want to hear a pittiful rant then leave now

ok you ready? well first off my computer had been having some major issues because it hasn't been cleaned ever so its been piling up on viruses and crap sense about 2009 and i still can't wipe it till i have enough $ to buy windows because i currently have vista which i have been informed to be one of the worst internet things ever...
i also have no tissue to i'm blowing my nose on paper towel..
i'm stressing over school because i'm stupid and bad memory runs in my family.. i'm trying to stay organized by planning everything but i don't have enough time, money, or ability to do everything i want to..
having a car would in a way make things easier because my mom can pretty much not drive at night but having a car would make my $ problems 100% worse so can't exactly do that
i've been on the hunt for some more friends because as we all grow, our differences become greater so i'm looking for more people that have things more incommon with me (sorry if you're offended current friends if you are reading this but ya i can't really take any of it back.)
i thought i would have more time with my mate now that i can get to him via bus BUT no x.x due to out own heckteck scheduals and the fact that my bus does not run later than 6 i think i see him less than i did when we were in high school which sucks.. i hate having a weekend boyfriend and with his delay text it makes it impossible to have a real conversation with him unless we're actually together which makes him feel even more like a weekend bf... i've confronted him on this before but he can't really help it.. confronting him on it just makes us both more upset..

-goes through another paper towel-

any who. i'm trying to save money but its hard when i have to pay a lot for school lunch if i don't pack it because school lunch is high price x.x
still have lots of hw, still trying to run art club, still trying to meet new friends, still trying to save money for next semester, still trying to find time to drive, and still trying to clean..
i just wish i had a shoulder to cry on.. my mom is part of the frustration tears so she is our, my current friends are fighting their own battle which makes mine look like a sissy fight so i really don't want to impose on them, and my boyfriend would reply " -hugs you tight- its going to be ok hun, i'm here" just after i cry myself to sleep because i sent my pleed 20 min ago...

i'll just get lost in my manga.. forget i'm me and live in the pages of my book only feeling the main characters problems..

yup so my mate visited the college of his dreams yesterday and fell in love with it which i kinda knew he would but there are some problems with that ^^;

1) it is like 40 miles away from where i live now
2) i would have to pay for housing because i wouldn't be able to live at home with good old mom
3) i would have to have roommates because i can barely pay for housing
4) i have a cat that will make finding an apartment and roommate more difficult
5) i could room with my mate because his dream college requires him to live on campus for first year so i may see him less than i already do
6) i would need to get a second part time job because i would no longer be able to do my current second part time job because its local >.<
7) i would need a way to store my excess stuff the the apartment may not be able to hold
8) i need more $ for college and room so i need to really work my ass off now x.x while keeping up with classes

so ya... all these fun thought overflowed last night with the news of my mate's rooming issue and we both ended up crying in each other's arms (which was powerful because my mate tries to never cry) not wanting to let the other down with what choices will have to be made...

so i'm sorry i'm uploading art more slowly and i'll try to get some up each month but i have a lot on my plate so give it time ^^;

working 2 part time jobs now and still attending school and still trying to have a partial social life x.x so exhausting

it'll be better after this week.. right?..
just need to kick butt and survive this week >.<

meme stolen from  linkinsbane

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE
- Name: Zo
- Eye Color: brownish gold
- Hair Style/Color: shoulderlength brown
- Height: 5'4"
- Clothing style:goth or naked
- Best physical feature: whats not to love? lol

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- Your fears: classified
- Your guilty pleasure: analyzing art ^^;
- Your biggest pet peeve: self centered/close minded ppl
- Your ambitions for the future: survive and be happy

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- Your first thoughts waking up: "GAH! what time is it?!"
- What you think about most: the future and the latest game i've been playing
- What you think about before bed: what i should have gotten done/still need to do
- You think your best quality is: analyzing/seeing things from different views

LAYER FOUR: WHAT'S BETTER?
- Single or group dates: depends on the group
- To be loved or respected: loved by one and respected by many seems nice to me
- Beauty or brains: both are relative
- Dogs or cats: both have qualities i like

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
- Lie: yes
- Believe in yourself: on most things
- Believe in love: depends on the definition of love
- Want someone: have someone

LAYER SIX: EVER?
- Been on stage: Ya
- Done drugs: i think i was slipped Ecstasy at a rave but no not on purpose
- Changed who you were to fit in: not intentionally but it is only natural to adapt to one's environment

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES
- Favorite color: orange
- Favorite animal: fox
- Favorite movie: How To Train Your Dragon
- Favorite game: gold mining

LAYER EIGHT: AGE
- Day your next birthday will be: Sept. 2
- How old will you be: 19
- Age you lost your virginity: 16
- Does age matter: Maturity does mostly but yes there is a point where someone is too young/old for you

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL
- Best personality: Intelligent, fun, understanding, and caring
- Best eye color: yellow or Hazel ^.^ both are cool
- Best hair color: black or brown
- Best thing to do with a partner: enjoy life with them.

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE
- I love: pizza and grilled cheese made by my hun bun.
- I feel: hungry and want pizza.
- I hide: my hunger and disdain.
- I miss: my hun bun and ignorantly bliss days with my best friend.
- I wish: i could win the megamillion for my mom.

LAYER ELEVEN: I TAG
- Who do you tag: i tag myself =p look i beet myself too it

that time of year again when start thinking of what i shall go as to NDK
so far i am thinking as going as one of my anime idles, Rue from princess tutu <3
here is a pic of her cosplayed very nicely
http://strangeandamazing.tumblr.com.....ehe-cosplay-33

and i want my mate to dress up with me this year and thought fakir would be a nice fit
http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs46/f/2.....bi_Soujiro.jpg

thoughts? suggestions? i'd like to hear them ^^

change + stress + excitement = not knowing what the future holds but its coming fast

may be missing some stuff but you get the jist ^^;

just 6 months and 25 days to go
i'm so ready you have no idea >.<

this is mainly a list for me for when my mind goes blank when ppl ask what i want

this the time of year when i brows online stores looking for 1 thing and find myself falling in love with 100 things ^^;

and here is the list! lol

http://www.corset-story.com/fashion.....trim-a300.html

http://www.x-tra-x.de/shoes-boots/p.....rate-7406.html

http://www.corset-story.com/corset-.....lace-trim.html

http://www.x-tra-x.de/clothes-women.....ross-1286.html

http://www.x-tra-x.de/clothes-women.....moon-8256.html

http://www.x-tra-x.de/clothes-women.....star-6826.html

http://www.x-tra-x.de/clothes-women.....lace-6976.html

http://www.x-tra-x.de/clothes-women.....num-14795.html

http://www.x-tra-x.de/clothes-women.....ose-15795.html

http://www.x-tra-x.de/satinkorsett-.....cate-7573.html

http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/Ap.....ize-230869.jsp

http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/Ap.....ess-904529.jsp

http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/Ap.....ess-724025.jsp

http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/Ap.....rug-966142.jsp

http://www.rivithead.com/catalog/charade-35.html

http://www.rivithead.com/catalog/tempo-08.html

http://www.rivithead.com/catalog/charade-26.html

http://www.rivithead.com/catalog/ha.....meo-dress.html

http://cryoflesh.com/shop/alienus-skirt-p-950.html

http://cryoflesh.com/shop/millenium.....ss-p-2229.html


and that just about sums it up for now ^^ i decided not to enter any of the houses i'm looking at or accessories. any questions feel free to ask

i know i have been terrible about uploading the art i've been doing >.< i've just been so busy cramming with school and hanging out with my mate that i haven't had time to hook up my laptop to my scanner and actually get some new stuff on here ^^; i'm sorry and i'll really try to get better about it

that aside.
i'm working on my ap art concentration portfolio which i plan to have it revolve around hourglasses. so far i've got about 5 decent pieces made but my teacher has yet to give 4 of them back xp
so i'll try to up load those asap

i'm exited to see my mate tomorrow and hang out with  Bloodwriter and her mate,  linkinsbane at an art gallery that is sadly, closing down =<

-looks around my room trying to think if there is anything else to say- ^^; i need to clean my room..

well if you all have any Questions or commission requests feel free to ask

kinda cramming at school so i'll upload my newest art asap ^^;

oh and i'm kinda wanting to start raise $ so i am now open for commissions ^^ i'm pretty cheap. won't charge over 17$ and i'm great at doing "paint picture pets" meaning if you send me a pic of your animal, i'll paint a replica for a small fee ^^

so spread the word!

;-; i'm all out..

ok when real life situations turn bad and start to pile up i tend to take a mental vacation in a book, a tv show, or an anime series.

ALL HAVE FAILED ME THESE PAST FEW DAYS!!!

i'm in the part in my book (Awakened, the house of night series) where all the joyfully bliss scenes have just ended and the shit is about to hit the fan and one of my fave characters is probably going to be killed... AGAIN! and when i read good books i get full on sucked in so when a good character dies its like hearing an old childhood friend has died so ya i bawl like an idiot

so i decided to turn on the tv and brows.. NOTHING NEW! same all bones, dr who, phinese and ferb, and the new castles haven't started up again yet. SAD! plus no good animes on adult swim =<

so i turn off the tv and hop online. after reading my mail, going through my submissions (40% of it porn) and then get updates on ppl (everyone is having a shitty time) so after that i'm more depressed than when i first hopped on and now also a tad horny..

and then to try and escape that i go on and watch my current anime series that i'm watching online (Kaliedo Star) but the main character currently is as depressed and ill inspired as i am so ya that doesn't really help..


... so here i sit






... screw it i'm going to go watch my anime -grabs my box of tissues and gets lost in my anime-

right now i'm typing up my revised will as a "just in case"...
better to type it up now and answer the hard questions than leave them up to a grieving family and or lover.. right?

fyi i'm not suicidal, i'm not uber depressed, i don't want to die any time soon, and i'm not just typing up my will just to say i have.

i'm doing this because life is to short and its silly to take such advantage of it without the slightest back up plan for when it all ends..

^^; i just want to be prepared..

sorry i've probably depressed everyone who reads this ^-^;

love you <3

ok to i vow today to at least complete one art piece per week and upload it...

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! the dang scanner is impossible to figure out! >.<
;-; i need tek help from someone who won't mock how technologically impaired i am...

i have revamped my fursona and am really pleased with how it turned out ^^ i hope to start drawing her and her friends again more in the future


in the mean time.. please be patient ;-; i'm workin on it

oh and my art skillage has been improving and i'd love to do a few commissions sense i'm still needing to earn money i owe my friends who bought the ndk room

thank you all who have been supportive <3

ok so first my mother and i try setting up this sprinkler timer thing and i'm like "hurpa derrr whats this button do" and i totally mess it up so she sends me inside >.<

then i finally clear a space on my desk to set up the scanner i got from the beautiful  bloodwriter that requires me to install like 6 different things! all i want is to be able to scan shit!!! wtf is this all!?!?!
after installing like two and barely understanding the point of them i decide installing new things onto my wonderful laptop is to scary to do alone ;-;

so i'm waiting till Tuesday when my mate gets here to do anything ^^; i'm such a wimp...


but aside from that.. i'm on the never ending task to earn money fast ^^;
i'm throwing another big garage sale this upcoming weekend to hopefully least earn 70$
i need 70$ by the 14th of august >.<
40 to buy ndk tickets, 30 to buy my mate his b-day gift <3

after that i need 50 more for the room i'm staying in for ndk so i need that before September 9th

i need to pay back my mom 20 for art supplies eventually

AND i need to start saving for other ppl's b-days and a trip to the zoo in November hopefully..



god dam... least when school starts again my classes are pretty cool ^^;

me: * scrolling down my page to checkout the web comics in my shout and thinking i wanna show some to my mate later*
*scrolls to the shouts that happen to be beside my favorites*

o.o .... that's some pretty hot porn...
^o^; lets just find a different picture to fave so the porn isn't so big...

*browses around and finds a cool picture of a dragon*

perfect!

*faves it and sees i have a new submission*

>.< please don't let it be porn, please don't let it be porn

*clicks*

GOD DAMIT! >/o/<



... and so the cycle repeats lol

and thats my fun story for the day ^^ thanks for reading

ok so i'm going to ndk in september and i need to make a list of what all i should bring and i need to make some money so i have some cash i can actually spend at ndk and not just on it (spending 90$ for room and full weekend pass)
here is the stuff i have on my list to bring so far
list for ndk:
-laptop along with some anime to watch with friends at night
-costume (i'm going as Kiki from kiki's delivery serves http://media.photobucket.com/image/.....ic1024x768.jpg )
-pjs
-tooth brush/floss
-deo/makup/tissues
-hair brush
-money and ID (i'll be just barely 18 so my mate and i can see the naughty show rooms)
- my anime bag
-shampoo/conditioner
-water bottle and food
-disposable bowls and spoons
- raver outfit (glow sticks)
-phone charger

and that's all i got so far ^^ any other suggestions please let me know! <3 thanky for reading to this point

a love of oil paint does not come cheap ^^;

but i'm really happy x3 i can't wait to start painting with oil again <3 its one of my favorite medias

my mate got me the most beautiful ring with a big moon stone set in silver Celtic knots and then he pulled me out into the pouring rain to share a passionate kiss ^////^ it was the most romantic thing <3

i think i'm going to change up my fursona a lil just so it matches the tail i got at the renaissance fair <3 its so fluffy <3

oh and what little money i have left is going towards ndk x3 i think I've found a great compromise <3
my mate and i will be staying with 2 of my crazy older friends in a hotel room instead of us having to share a room with his annoying brother and his friends and instead of us having to argue with his parents to get a room for just us (his mom fears my mate growing up and being out in the world on his own)

anywho there is a lil update on me ^^ how are you all?