Everything is on hold for now. Just not in the right state of mind currently to draw or write. Let alone upload anything new. No idea how long or short this is going to last. But I just can’t do it right now.

I’ll try to get some drawings uploaded this month. Got a few projects in the works I’ve been bouncing between.

Another year. Am I excited? Ehh… Not really, to be honest. One of those things that kinda fills me with existential dread, I hate to say. I’ll try to enjoy it, though.

So this is going to be a bit of a rambling post, but eh. Have been drained motivationally for awhile now. So things are going to be quite slow (I’ll make progress on the new pics eventually, HotRodHero. But I do apologize in advance for how long it’s going to take). But I’ll get around to posting more eventually.

I get it, the negativity is draining. I can assure you, I don’t want to feel like this all the time. It’s draining for me, too. But at the same time I just… Can’t really feel positive, I guess? I don’t really know how else to describe it. I am depressed and am taking medication for it, but I just feel like there’s more to it than just simply depression. I dunno. I just feel sad all the time, don’t really sleep well. Just feel stuck, I guess.

I apologize for this weird rambling post. Just unsure of how else to get my thoughts down, to be honest.

Just have some things I want to say. So might as well just get right to it. I apologize for my fixation on a few topics. Those who know me well enough surely know what I mean (it isn't exactly subtle, after all). I know, its an odd thing to apologize for when for all intents and purposes it isn't anything negative. Just feel the interest kinda alienates me in a way, as weird as that sounds. I don't really know how else to describe it. I've just been in a slump for awhile now, which is why I really haven't posted much of anything lately. Yes, I do have some issues aside from depression which I generally avoid talking about. Stuff has just been getting to me for awhile. I'm just not really sure what to do about it, I guess. So all in all, I guess I apologize for my odd fixations and all of that. I don't really know what else I can say.

So, yeah... A bit of a rambley mess but I don't really know how else I can get my thoughts down. Even then it doesn't really do a good job at conveying it. I'm just a weird individual. I guess.

For the past few months, I just haven’t had much in the way of motivation due to a number of factors. Mainly depression kicking up again, hard. Losing interest in things, feeling even more lonely than normal, etc. I know why, at least part of why. That being a falling out that ultimately led to me feeling uncomfortable/unwelcome and eventually leaving a community. It all just left an incredibly bad taste in my mouth. Do I think time will fix things? No, absolutely not. I’m trying to move on and forget about all of it, since quite frankly it did hurt. Not that any of them would care anyway. Unsurprisingly, this tanked my motivation to draw or write. I had hoped doing Art Fight this year would help somewhat, but honestly I don’t think it has. So I dunno. I don’t think I’ll be posting much for awhile. If something gets my motivation going again then great, but I have no idea what could.

I’m genuinely wondering why people watch me. There’s a handful of people who I know why they do, be it due to being friends with them or because they do express interest in what I draw (even if I haven’t uploaded in awhile). But a lot of the other people who watch me? I honestly just don’t know why. It doesn’t bother me, I just don’t really know why.

Jesus Fucking Christ. Okay. I can’t believe I even have to say this but… If I have you blocked on a site, PLEASE do not message me on another site completely ignoring that you’re blocked. If you want to try making up or something then okay. But if you act like we never met before when it’s clear that we did, kindly fuck off. Chances are I have you blocked for a reason. I’m willing to give someone a second chance, but not if you go about it like that.

Drawing and writing are currently on hold for the time being. Caught something, some sort of virus that's hitting me like a train. Bad cough, fever, etc. So I just don't really feel up to drawing. Maybe super simple things, I dunno. But definitely no new scenes. Sooo... Yeah, I feel like shit. Doesn't help that my birthday is coming up in a little over a week. Kinda dreading that tbh but that's a whole other thing.

2024 was one hell of a thing. Had its ups and downs. One of the biggest things for me is I finished and officially graduated college with a Geological Science degree (with a Computer Science minor). Though finding a job is a whole other challenge in itself. But 2024 didn’t exactly end smoothly. Seems the year was insistent on getting one last middle finger in, as I woke up yesterday with quite a bad sore throat and am feeling just as bad, if not worse today. Very much not an ideal start to the year and screwed up what plans I had but eh.

Do I have any big plan for 2025? Kinda? I’m planning on forcing myself to really get into working out since that’s something I need to do. But also improve my cooking.

Stresses both online and offline have been getting to me. Putting a lot of drawings and writings on hold and honestly don’t really have any plans to restart them. This all just really killed my enthusiasm, especially for certain theming. I’ll still do Art Fight, but that’s really all I have planned for now.

Usually when online issues start I can just step away and relax. But considering what’s been going on offline that isn’t an option. Since it’s just as, if not even more frustrating. It’s tiring and extremely frustrating. I’ve vented to a handful of people, which hasn’t done any good. Drew a piece of vent art which also didn’t help. At this point I really don’t know what’ll improve things. The theming is on indefinite hold, since I have no enthusiasm for it anymore and genuinely have no idea what could rekindle it. If anything even could.

So, yeah. Probably will be even less active than normal. Since my state of mind currently is just not very good and things just haven’t been improving regardless of what I do.

So, might as well post a bit of an update again. I’m still open for commissions or art trades and (probably) will remain so for the time being. However, I’ll most likely temporarily close once Art Fight starts, though that’ll depend on how active it ends up being.

Well, after a few years and a lot of struggling, I’ve finally graduated college. Started off in computer science and was miserable, to the point that I changed my major on my fourth year. Went into geological science instead, albeit kept the computer science as a minor. That had its own levels of difficulty, culminating in an utter mess of last year. Though a sizable chunk of that was due to non-college related problems (most notably the cancer thing with my mother). But now, I’ve gotten through it and had the graduation ceremony yesterday. Still have something to finish up but that’s going somewhat smoother at least.

Finding a job is the next big, of course. Have been in talks with someone I worked with for an internship. So there’s some potential there if we can figure out payment. Though that’d likely be a temporary thing until I find something more official. At the very least, the research I did would look pretty good on a resume so that’s something I guess.

Well, the depression is spiking again. Sooo… Yeah. “Fun…” A presentation that went so bad (well “presentation” since I barely got to actually present) it’s making me question if I really liked what I was focusing on. Prior to this it was something I genuinely wanted to do after graduation and ideally as a career. But now, I’m not so sure.

Other things have also been getting to me. Some personal, some online related. Just a lot of stuff all piling on at once. With the added existential dread of hopefully graduating college in a fairly short amount of time. Then there’s some commission related things. One having remained unfinished and I’m unsure if I’d be able to get a refund, another where I’m seriously questioning if I’m going to be stuck with the bill for a group comm despite what was originally agreed upon. I dunno, it’s all kinda just getting to me.

Don’t really have much to say for this one. Beyond I really should get around to posting drawings here again. It’s not like I haven’t been drawing, I’ve got plenty of things I could post. Just… Not really sure which.

Well it’s that day again… 25 today (gah, I feel old). But I’m almost graduated from college, which is something. Had been one hell of a trip, not necessarily a good one at plenty of points. But at least for now I feel a lot better than I did. Admittedly I did hope to be graduated before turning 25, but that got thrown out the window due to my major switch (though truth be told even if I didn’t switch I definitely wasn’t getting out in four years). But I do still feel it was the right call. This is getting way more reflective than I wanted it to be, but eh. So yeah. Birthday is today.

Well, this semester is finally over. Got my research thesis submitted, so that’s something. Was a lot.

Commissions are still open, but won’t be done until after Christmas.

Might as well post another life update (I really should get into the habit of doing these semi-regularly, I feel like it’d be a good thing for me to do). I really need to get around to uploading more often.

Things are mostly fine. Aside from allergies being allergies (may or may not have a cold). Things seem to be reasonable in terms of family health. Or at least the recovery process seems to have started, which is very good.

Commissions are still open, if interested feel free to send a note or inquire on Discord. Speaking of, my username there is Piegeo190. I just ask that you say you’re from here, link to your page and such. Also please don’t randomly call me. I’m kinda picky with who I voice chat with.

Only really notable negative is an art theft situation that’s ongoing. However the account responsible has been reported by both myself and some others. So hopefully that’ll be dealt with sooner rather than later.

So, I have opened commissions. I don’t really have a set number of slots yet, really depends on how it goes (am still new to this).

Price sheet is here https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53677777 though additional detailing may also increase the price. Really would need to be discussed. If there’s something you want drawn, feel free to ask. If it’s something I think I’d be able to do I could give it a go (payment would be sent after the piece is finished but before the final image is sent). Though I will let you know if it’s a theme I don’t want to draw. In a case like that I would be open to discussing alternate ideas.

Figure payment being sent after works better since I don’t really know how long it would take me to draw. Especially if it’s a detailed image, since I do have a research thesis I’m working on as well in addition to other university classes.

So, figured I'd post a little update. My mother's treatments are finished, so its just a matter of time to see how things have worked. Was chemo and another form of radiation treatment. She seems to be doing relatively well.

On my end of things, I am thinking of opening commissions. Single flat color character images, like the ones I tend to post. Leaning towards $15 as a base price and $5 for additional outfits, if that seems like a reasonable price? As for payment methods I've got a few in mind. Paypal, steam or amazon cards would also be acceptable. But I'm not 100% sure when or if I'll open.

Might as well post another one.

Not a huge amount of stuff has changed. Aside from university being a pain as one would expect.

Regarding the family situation not too much has changed aside from my mother having done chemo treatments. At the very least it is shrinking, so that’s hopefully a good sign.

Figured I’d post one of these since it’s been quite awhile. Lots of things have happened.

For starters my birthday was on the 11th, so there’s that. Was alright, not great, not terrible. Though there’s something that’s been getting to me pretty much from the day I heard. A close relative (my mother) was diagnosed with cancer. Soo… Yeah… She’s getting treatment and according to both the doctors and her things are going well. So pretty much everyone is optimistic, aside from me being extremely worried. Since even being told things are going to be fine it’s not exactly easy to not be extremely worried about it.

So long story short, my state of mind isn’t exactly what I’d call great. Not helping that my grandmother had passed away back over thanksgiving. Then finding out about my mother’s diagnosis a few days after Christmas. So yeah shrug.

Pretty much always open for role playing, if anyone is interested. Though I do prefer the paragraph style, with reasonable amount of detail. Not really into role plays of a sexual nature either to be honest. So I’d greatly prefer to avoid that.

Well, I finally started posting here again. Still won’t be super active, at least compared to other places.

If anyone wants to talk or something, feel free to drop a note. Quite active on discord, so that maybe an option. Not as active on Telegram, but that exists so it’s an option. Just would be a bit slower.

Pretty much always open to more story driven/focused role plays as well.

Given how Deviantart is very non-user friendly now (its a buggy mess, which is missing all sorts of features which were on the original site -_-), I’ll be uploading here again. Given there’s a large amount of drawings I’ll want to post, it’ll be a slow process sense I don’t want to spam post things. But I’ll get it done eventually.