June is my birthday month and oooooh boy, I only realized that June is here, because my friend asked what I want for my birthday 😭
like bam, suddenly I just realize my birthday is at the end of this month pfft ... time flies fast, it snuck up on me, what a jumpscare!! 🥺

also pssst 🤫
any one of you interested in wrestling? ;w;
I have been enjoying wrestling since last summer, so it's almost a year around at this point haha
there's like two people on my discord chat who are chatting about Wrestling lol and I am pretty happy to just have some people to know the joy of Wrestling and share it as well <3
I haven't decided on opening my discord for other people as of yet, but I could just send an invite if you really really want to ;u;
it's not really that active though ^^;

does your mascot / persona / sona . ... main character that you draw to represent yourself with.
did you pick your favourite colour or even colours to go along with the design?
just curious

just a random thought; someone once told me that, when we brush our teeth, that's the only time we clean our skeleton.

Oh boy, I can't believe that it's 2025 already! How odd that my year started with a headache haha, and no I didn't drink any alcohol lol :p it just be one of those days I guess
How's everyone doing so far? :D

I think my new year's "resolution" would be something like, work harder, do more commissions, so that I can afford dentist appointments and ... new clothes 🥲
My mom laughed at me and pointed out that I'm basically wearing the same clothes, it's just 3 pairs or items and I cycle through them and that's it ...
I uhm yeah I don't like to go shopping for clothing because it's tiresome, but also very expensive 😅

But yeah
Hopefully this year will go smoother than previous year for me and you too ^^

ayoo! Hope everyone is doing alright ^^
Twitter has been doing some sad sad things and I dislike that
as I am sure everyone else does .....
Although I enjoyed the place since idk 2011? maybe earlier since I had another account but it's dead and lost
I just used the account for announcing commissions, connecting with people, following artists and eventually also contacted commissioners through there
it was a very useful place for me :c
but alas
times have changed
if you would like to follow me on BSky, here's my link! https://bsky.app/profile/bonks.bsky.social

what is BlueSky?
Bluesky's origins trace back to Jack Dorsey, Twitter's former CEO, who initiated the project in 2019.
Dorsey appointed Jay Graber to lead Bluesky, and Twitter funded the development of an open social protocol for public conversation.

Maybe it's a bit selfish in a way
But I need a place to vent a bit ...

Yeah I hate what is going on
I am going to work and so far it's silent on my side, I am thankful for that.
But I am scared of the fact that my country shares a border with Russia ....
It's too close for comfort.
And I am fucking anxious and stressed for the poor people in Ukraine
How da fuck are people allowing this to happen in modern day times??

I hope Putin randomly gets a heart attack
I know it's not good to wish bad on other people but please ...
Can he just fucking STOP
What if he takes over Ukraine and then thinks, well ... "That was easy" so then next target would be something like Latvia, my own country, because there's not that many people living in here. Because we are in the middle of other Baltic countries like Lithuania and Estonia and from there it would be a disaster for my neighbour countries too he's just a horrible monster
I am just ... scared tbh

hey
massive thank you to everyone who supported me with my previous journal
I went through with two of my shots
got Pfizer ... not sure if it's the best or the least best
but I am feeling fine

mom of course has been asking me over and over if i am okay, because according to her she has heard bad outcomes as a side effect from relatives and complete strangers
I think I am fine and will be fine

I can't thank everyone enough for the massive support
thank you ♥

Mom is spreading rumors that a scientist who had won a Nobel prize said that who ever got their vaccine shots, will most likely die in the span of two years
Resulting in mass dying
At least two billion people will die

I hate how very anxious it makes me
But what if it's true?
What if the higher-ups actually did plan to kill a lot of humans and the weird anti-vaxxers will be the only ones left alive??
What if it's true?
What if it's not?
what if we die?
what if my mom is crazy and all of this is actually gonna happen
but she was right and now I am wrong
Or
What if all this gets worse and my mom and brothers will die and I'll be the only one to survive because I wanted to get my vaccine shot ...

I .... I am rambling a lot, because I am losing sleep, due to me being the only one with different thoughts on things in this family

I feel like if I'll go get my vaccine shot, I'll be thrown out on the streets
If that happens
I have no place to go ...

No no ... wait
I don't have any at the moment, but please read? Maybe you can answer some of my questions.
Because I am shy AF to make one and I think if I'll make one it will be a failure .-.
cuz I am just a loser like that ...

I was thinking if making one or three YCH auctions.
But at the same time, would anyone be interested at all? And for future thoughts I had an idea to make somewhat of a theme batch, or allow two people buy the same YCH commission?
I would probably list them starting from 15 Dollars and up to 60 or more, idk ...
Should I even place my prices in dollars or Euros? Since Euros is the currency I use any way .-.


Honestly ... I miss doing commissions of anthros and dragons u_u
Everyone nowadays asks me for Minecraft art lol
But I'd love to have a change, yanno?

Thanks for reading ; o;

Very bad news...

My computer is causing power in my room to shut off.
I can't get it to work, all I heard is a loud booming electric spark.
I am sort of panicking right now
Because everything just stops at this point
I cannot work on art
and I am in need of money, but since PC doesn't work I can't get any money because I can't draw commissions at the moment.
now my PC breaking means: I need even more money to fix it
Let's hope that all the files will be fine and motherboard will be alive and such
Hopefully it's just power block
Even tho ...... I never did anything different, literally just wanted to turn on my PC like in any other day
and BOOM the electricity in my room disappears and I hear that loud noise from my PC and I am left in shock of what just happened....

Maan idk what to do
I am so anxious and nervous now...
I wanted to work on my commission in hopes to get some money early for the Unicon convention, for my cosplay
Which happens on August 5-6
But now I'm screwed ...
hhhh I am scared about what could go wrong with my PC
Literally it's been going so well for at least 5 years
There was a minor problem with broken liquid cooling but other than that my PC was a gem aaaa
I really don't know what to do 😫😨😧
Well bring it in for repairs is obvious but like my money problem is real atm ....

MY STUPID BRAIN GOES LIKE:

Yo Bonks you can open up art commissions! And get money for your broken PC by drawing!
..... wait .... oh.

Totally made me laugh for a while XD

silly video
don't watch if you dislike Minecraft or something like that.......
just a heads up :I

but yeah

too bad the video is pretty old and short, but makes me smile :')

AWESOME BUTTER!![color=#FFAF0A]![/color]

This is what all my awesome friends do in Team Fortress 2

they ALWAYS have a lot of fun :D





aaaand then there is me......

that one person

why cannot play TF2

because I have a lame Computer ;__;

DAMN YOU PC

urgh... sorry FA doesn't provide me with all the purdy journals :I
so you'll have to read it here!
http://fav.me/d5af68g

Yes my exams are finally over!!!
but doesn't mean that the same goes for my school >__>
it's still annoying and gets me tired at all the times when I spend my day in school D|

any ways
what did I wanted to tell you?
yes I have more free time and exams were REALLY stressful..... never had so much stress in my life ;A; My hands were literally shaking and I couldn't speak normally
also...
in Math and Latvian language exams I passed out on few seconds.... like went on snooze or something and then woke up
I guess it all was like that and in each exam for like 3 - 4 times till I could concentrate again...

I have unfinished commissions waiting to be drawn
I'll get to them each moment when I can!
don't you worry I haven't disappeared with your money!

on the other news
My main reason why I opened commissions, was to collect the money before my birthday which is on June 30th and then I'll be 20 years old ._.
yay me
but I wanted to collect the money to buy a new computer....
though now I'll leave this idea for later
because, for a new PC I would need around 600 dollars ....... that's a lot of money......
so
right now I just buy all the things, like Earrings, some fashion stuff, Glasses, and other cool things for every day life or the things that actually will be useful for me!
Like.... art supplies and USB Flash memory with 32 GB :'D
for the first time I'll have my own Flash memory stick ;u;
feels good <3
mostly everything that will make me happy or the things I wanted to buy a loooong time ago :'D

I'll be uploading the art here that has been made in the past month/weeks and never was uploaded here
but since it's already late I'll just upload few
the other half will be uploaded tomorrow c:
thanks for reading <3




derp I'll delete this journal later :U maybe

[ ] you meow/bark to get attention
[ ] you find pets toys amusing
[ ] you get hyper by the smell of catnip
[ ] you growl/hiss when someone gets too close to your food
[ ] you growl/hiss when someone you dislike is too close to you
[ ] you purr/shake your leg when someone shows you affection
[ ] if someone tosses a ball, you chase it and brings it back
Total: 0

[ ] you love to be scratched behind the ear
[x] you love fish/meat
[x] you like to stick your head out through the window of a moving car.
[x] you like when people pet your head
[ ] people can make you stop doing stuff by hitting you on the nose with a newspaper
[x] you think feathers are fun to play with
Total: 4

[x] you sleep a lot during daytime. i want too damn school
[ ] you enjoy scaring birds
[ ] you lick peoples faces to show you like them
[ ] you bite people if they annoy you.
[x] you tend to steal food from your friends/family's plate when you have eaten all of yours
[ ] milk or water is your favorite drink
Total: 6

[ ] you own a collar and you enjoy wearing it
[ ] you own a leash and enjoy wearing it
[x] you own animal ears/tail/paws or a fur suit
[ ] you enjoy long walks in the park
[ ] you meow/bark when you see something you want
Total: 7

[ ] you call your hands and feet "paws"
[ ] you tilt your head when you do not understand what someone is talking about
[ ] you run to the door when someone mentions a walk
[x] you really enjoy cuddling. depends on who
[x] you stretch your body and whimper a bit every morning when you wake up.
[x] you can wake up and go back to sleep right away after looking around
Total: 10


[ ] you have your favorite spot besides your bed where you like to sleep
[ ] you meow or bark very often
[ ] you hide when you get scared
[ ] you run to the door to see who it is every time someone comes in to the house
[ ] you like to chase flying insects and try to catch them with your bare hand
[ ] you tend to chew on stuff a lot
[ ] you like to do tricks to get a treat
Total: 10

[x] you own a wearable item/tag with your name on it.
[ ] you refer to your self as an animal.
[ ] your username has something to do with animals.
[ ] your e-mail has something to do with animals
[x] if you get a bleeding wound, you lick it to make it feel better
[x] you look for edible stuff often
Total: 13

[x] you often find yourself looking through the window for a long time
[ ] you like to say hi to strangers
[ ] you like to be petted when you have done something good
[ ] people think you act like a pet
[ ] you growl/hiss at stuff you do not like.
[ ] you like to eat grass
[x] if you get wet, you shake to get rid of the water.
Total: 15

15x2=30

I hope you realize what have you done all this time?

no?

you were being a lazy ass :U
________________

okay okay hmmm so .... ummmm

Thank you all who commissioned me :'D
I already spent some money for Markers, food and sweets aaand earrings which might become handy later on...
I just hope I'll get them c:
I hope....


the main problem right now is:
my computer....

it's annoying with it's low memory and low system settings...
I cannot work with more powerful programs
thus my art canvas size is always below 2500 pixels ._.
also my Ram is low D|
GAH....

I was calculating the price
and SOMEHOW I got that the final price for some things to pimp up my PC a little,
together it is 475 dollars
which is around 255 lats in my currency ._.
gosh... idk what to do :<

the only thing I have in my mind is to rise my prices on my commissions
but also try to keep them in adequate level
though.... the prices I have now, are still from the emergency time when my bird was injured
at least now she's good. But she will never be able to lay eggs ever again because of her broken leg.

so yeah I'll raise my prices soon
and I'll try to get some help from popular artists to ummm help me with my commissions a little by giving a small feature?
I guess that would be good right?
Since my mom doesn't have money to buy all the things for my PC
I want to prove my mom that I'm not worthless by drawing art!!!

EDIT:
yes... my Prices might go higher because I have realized how low they was
also....
I'll try to make more options than only just two ways of art...

aaaaand another thing
I MIGHT open Iron artist challenge
do you think it's worth it? c:
I think the prices should be 20 or 25
not sure if I'll make it up to 100 but I can try, right?

thanks for reading!

as you all know today is a special day <3
and so. . . I wish you all to find what you like to do the best and wish your friends a happy forever alone day too ;D

now?

don't mind me

I'll just sit here in corner of my Journal page and swoon and gasp while looking at these pictures <3
aaaaah, I love these~

http://fav.me/d4pitlg http://fav.me/d1vkw0w http://fav.me/d4p6evd http://fav.me/d4pi45w

also...
THIS PERSON

RIGHT HERE!!!
GO WATCH HER!!!!
 azyomecha azyomecha azyomecha

shes my best friend AND my inspiration :3c

well, happy New 2012 Dragon Year everyone
I hope you'll achieve everything you have always wanted in this new year!!! : D


and now
the sad news :/

well, not everyone knows that I own 4 parrots (yes I love birds)
two of them are cockatiels and the last two are actually a budgie couple...
they have had babies before...
but now it's really sad. The last 5 eggs didn't survived
it all happened like this
4 of them hatched
1 of the hatchlings died after hatching
the rest of the brothers and sisters were growing up fast and healthy, so I thought that maybe I could keep one of the babies this time.
Unfortunately their mom weren't feeding them well enough and they also died....
it's so sad that you have to take out the cold dead hatchling body and you see how beautiful bird it could have been.
After they all were dead she started to lay new eggs....
today I decided to stop everything and remove those eggs....
yeah well, here comes the worst part.
I think her right leg is broken or paralyzed....
she is a really lovely bird and she's really beautiful, but if she dies I'll have to replace her.
unfortunately our vets here in Latvia ask big amount of money for curing a pet (if that still doesn't work then think about the money you have lost) but still, they don't have the knowledge for parrots... (it's less expensive to buy a new bird rather than curing it's problems)
I really don't know what to do
she's just lying down on the cage floor while her partner is running around her, because he doesn't understand her behavior.
I have a feeling that I might find her tomorrow already dead.

so I guess if it isn't hard for you. I would really appreciate your help on spreading a word about my commissions.
I'll be collecting some money for a new bird. (if I won't buy a new girl for the guy he might die from being lonely) The guy isn't the social bird type with humans he's not tame and he runs away from my hand when I try to catch him or fill the food dish.

I'll be opening commissions after this journal (I guess it will be on the next day? lol?)
but yeah I would really appreciate the help!

thanks for reading!

hey guys c:
I am glad for all the new watchers I have :'D
you all make me feel special c':

okay. . . so
I will be away with my friends and sleeping under open sky till Sunday~

ta taa~

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/going-bonkers

Come if you want ...
you can leave anytime you want!

http://tinychat.com/bonker
Come here and chat with me! :D
I'll be there for a while, when I will go offline, I'll edit this journal lol

see you there ;D

Edit:
I am offline for now ~
and
Thank you so much Lupa for the company! ^^
it was nice to chat with you :D