I thought I was scheduled for work at noon today. But my schedule got changed and I didn't notice, and I'm here hella early and there's no point in going home now LOL, I live so far away, it'd be like doing a lap back and forth.

Gimme some dirty ideas to draw for when I get home tonight. No guarantees I'll do them, but ideas are appreciated~
I've just been on such a roll with sexy art and I wanna keep it up

So I gotta go to work in, like, ten minutes, I'll try to keep this short.

I know I haven't been uploading much at all since the whole fundraiser for my tablet, and I'm really sorry about that. I've been DRAWING a lot, but just not uploading for various reasons. I've been in and out of some really dark holes lately. And not the good kind, get your head out of the gutter.

Work got me whipped, my dudes. I only have one day off this week, and my back is KILLING me. And on top of that, a lot of my free time just kinda gets spent talking to friends online, so I don't get to draw TOO often? Let alone find time to play games leisurely, which has been a major blow to my self-esteem. When I don't get to just... -enjoy- myself after a long day of work, and I waste it away watching videos on YouTube because it's a non-committal thing that I can just do while typing to people on discord and junk, it makes me feel like I don't have control over my life and crap, but-- we'll get back to that.

Secondly, I've been feeling the breakup blues. I'm trying NOT to obsess over my recent breakup, but I've been moving through all the stages of grief. It's been almost three months - 12 more days till that marker, to be exact. As much as I surround myself with friends and talk to them constantly, I feel this overwhelming loneliness some days. I'm not used to not being in a relationship, and I really miss her some days. Most days. Okay, pretty much every day, gosh.

But not all has been doom and gloom. While I've been by myself, I've learned a few things about myself, and I've been coming to accept myself for who I am and have been honest with my thoughts and feelings. Which is something I'm not used to doing.

I don't think I've ever talked about my literal PHOBIA of anime on here, but I have actually been terrified of anime for the last decade or so. Like, specifically anime. You guys know how much I love JRPGs and Japanese games, and I'm totally playing some weeb shit on Steam every chance I get; it's literally just -anime- as a medium that scares the shit out of me. And I've been having some recent breakthroughs regarding it, and that feels good.

I have hated being so scared of anime because all my friends are weebs and shit, and I feel terrible that I can't enjoy one of their favorite things. And liking Japanese games - even ones based on anime - simply isn't the same. The medium makes for all the difference. And honestly, I think the reason I like games more is because of their mechanics and stuff, so it's kinda like I'm getting into a series for a completely different reason than most people... -sigh-

anyway, I haven't been so afraid of anime recently. I'm still not embracing it like I think it's the greatest thing in the world, but... I don't hate it. Anymore. I'm not afraid of it. And that's good.

Lastly, I've been really trying to embrace my sexual nature. It's something I suppress constantly - growing up in a hardcore Catholic family will do that to you. Sex is just straight-up demonized in the eyes of my family members, and all hat suppression has just kinda fueled it for some kinky shit, and then I feel the Catholic guilt eating away at me like "wow how dare you like that sorta thing, that's so wrong," etc. etc. It's been breaking me for years. And because I'm usually surrounded by more people who dislike that sorta thing than like it, I just feel like i'm in the WRONG for it.

But recently I've been talking to some friends who said they've always appreciated how forward and blunt I am when it comes to sex. And look, I don't wanna be a bashful guy. There's enough bashful guys out there on the internet, and I wanna be a bastion for people to come to and talk openly about sex so that I can fuel it and enable it and let them feel beautiful and sexy because that's what I think it's all about tbfh. I just wanna share that, I love that. Sex makes me feel good, it makes me feel sexy, and I want everyone to know that feeling. It makes me so mad at my folks for making me think it was a bad thing for years and years and years, but I guess I wouldn't be such a horny motherfucker if it wasn't suppressed as hard as it was.

Wow, I said I wanted to keep this short, but I'm five minutes late and I haven't even finished getting dressed for work.
I'LL LEAVE YOU AT THAT, MY DUDES.
Oh, one more thing

---COMMISSION SHOP IS CLOSED---
unfortunately, commissions stress me out right now. So until further notice, it is closed.

I'm off to work, I hope to hear from you!! So long, my friends! I got plenty of projects I wanna work on when I got time, so expect more art! Love you, ta-ta~!

So today is the day I move out. New tenants are in my house, they came a day early, and I woke up with a BUNCH of boxes in the living room and a bigass UHaul outside. What's even worse is I can't stay with my grandma either. I didn't really have a say in it, but basically my folks called her to get a less biased answer on whether or not I could stay with her (cuz, y'know, it's harder to say no to someone to their face), and I guess she declined giving me shelter. Sooo I have to stay with my folks. That wouldn't be SO bad, but I have an hour's commute to work now, which is annoying.

god, I'm ready for today to be over already. I don't know why, but I'm being made to help the new tenants unpack their crap and help them get settled in, like, dude, they're already renting out the house that I'm getting kicked out of, why do I have to help them move in too?? That's not my joooob, ugghhhhh

Also still sick. Not as deathly ill as I was a couple days ago where I was non-stop shivering, but still coughing up my lungs and struggling to drink cuz swallowing is a chore.

Also also, for those of you still waiting on your commissions, don't worry, they are being worked on, I've just been so distracted with work and being sick and this whole moving thing that it's just hard to sit down on draw. Those of you that have me on discord KNOW how easily distracted I get, like I need my house to just be fucking -empty- or have everyone in it be asleep in order to find the peace to sit down and draw.

Nooo, I've been sick over the last couple days with something fierce; I got a fever and chills and aches and ughgh. I've been through two NyQuil comas already, I'm sick of laying in bed, but when I woke up today, the poWER WAS OUT WHYYY.

Had a couple days to warm up to my new tablet! It's taken some getting used to, but I did some doodles, did some lewds, and now I'm getting those hot commissions done!

oh mAN, AMAZON SAYS MY TABLET WILL BE HERE BY TOMORROW, WHICH IS NIIIIIICE, I CAN'T WAIT TO START DRAWING!!

Also I bought KoF 14 on the Steam Summer Sale, and it makes me sooo happy! ;_; It plays really similarly to KoF 98, which is my favorite in the series, but also adds in Max Cancels from KoF 13, which is my favorite mechanic from that game. EVEN IF IT ISN'T WORTH ALL THE METER BURN, IT'S STILL SO SATISFYING TO DO. I really like all the newcomers, and having characters that haven't been seen in a while like Blue Mary and Rock Howard back in the spotlight! My ONLY little gripe is that there are no special character interaction intros, BUT I MEAN AT LEAST WE HAVE CHARACTER INTROS AT ALL. LOOKING AT YOU, KOF 12 AND 13 WITH YOUR LACK OF INTROS AT ALL.

Oh, so, I guess Walmart doesn't sell drawing tablets. They got regular tablets and iPads and everything else under the sun, as well as accessories out the wazoo, but no drawing tablets. OH WELL, guess I have to wait on shipping anyway. That was the whole point of going out to get one after work. Anyway, I ordered a tablet from online, and it'll arrive on the 27th. Sorry for the short delay!!

Also, I just want to say thank you all, again, sooo much for helping me get a new tablet! I'm VERY MUCH looking forward to getting started on your commissions, and continuing my standard content for those who donated that just want to see more of my art!

Does anyone have Steam? I really like playing fighting games and JRPGs and stuff.

I really like Street Fighter, I play SF4 a lot. I'd play SF5 but my computer is garbage and can't run it. I'll play it more when I buy a new computer. I'll also be picking up the Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection as soon as I pay off my debt to my dad, so... plenty of Third Strike, Alpha 3, and Super Turbo fun to be had there~

I like King of Fighters, I semi-regularly play KoF 98, but I also have 2002 and kiiiinda play KoF 13. Haven't bought KoF 14 yet, but it's on my to-get list since it looks really great!

I adore Blazblue, I'm pretty okay at it. I have all of them but Cross Tag Battle, but tbh the only one worth playing outside of CTB is Central Fiction. For multiplayer, at least. Story's still good in older entries, but I'm kinda looking for people to play with.

I am not good at Guilty Gear in the slightest, but they're fun and I'd love to learn more! Accent Core is a ton of fun, and I do own Xrd SIGN, but there aaare two maps my computer just can't handle in SIGN, so... I hope you aren't fans of Potemkin or Chipp's stages if you wanna play with me~ When I get a new computer, I'll pick up Revelator.

I have Skullgirls. I don't play Skullgirls, but I know most people with Steam accounts have it, and I'd be willing to play it cuz it's low key Guilty Gear with waifus.

Outside of fighting games, I pretty much just play a myriad of JRPGs. I'm kiiind of a completionist, and try really hard to get 100% in games, though I usually come really, really close and call it a day because some completion requirements just demand the kind of time that I could only DREAM of having. It's not for a lack of patience, it's just straight-up a lack of free time to dedicate to farming Earth Eater for another 10 hours to grab enough Luck Spheres to give to my remaining four party members to complete their Sphere Grids for 100% achievements, Mr. Final Fantasy 10 >;(


Aaaaanyway! Lemme know if you use Steam, what kinda games you play and stuff. If you play any fighters or JRPGs, PLEASE tell me! I wanna know your mains, or your favorite games and why!

If you wanna add me on Steam to play something with me, or chat about games, feel free to add me! My username is Nickuro. It should be easy to find, there aren't many Nickuros out there.

I think I remember why I didn't usually write journals before now unless I had some abundant good news or something; I was afraid of just venting my frustrations online for all the world to see because I either didn't wanna look weak about it, or because I think enough people have problems posted online and I didn't want to just be one more person added to the pile of sad hikis posting about how sad they are for some pity points.

That's not to say I look down on those that do post online, I just think I was trying to dig myself out of my own troubles without garnering pity or something dumb like that.

Ugh, but if ever I felt pitiful, now would be the time. I've been holding up in my room for hours, unable to leave without catching aggro of my dad, his girlfriend, or any of the people roaming around the house, clearing out things for the new tenants to move in. I'm trapped in my bedroom, not wanting to be seen, unable to reach my computer or any food or anything. My dad just constantly scolds me for staying up late, not out of concern for my health or because I have to do something the next day, but because he keeps bugging me to clear out my bedroom and office for the new tenants. Heavily implying that my chances of staying at this house at the end of the month are slim to none, but nobody has the heart to admit it to me yet.

I've been locked in my room for almost five hours just trying to avoid the eyes of strangers walking around my house while I'm unshowered and unable to reach my clean clothes in a different room. I haaate living like this, and I'm probably just over reacting to something that's not even a big deal, but I haven't felt the least bit welcomed home by my own family since coming back from another country after a breakup. I'm just really sad and want things to go back to normal, but it looks like that's not gonna happen. u_u

I just want to go to work to have a good excuse to stay as far away from my dad as possible. I always, always forget how much he and I don't get along until we spend more than a few moments together. The only times we're ever on the same page is when we're miles away and don't have to interact for more than five minutes - and living with him is the wooorst.

Siiigh... What's even worse is I can't even hide in my room forever. In another hour, he'll be back home from work and asking me why I haven't done anything all day and yell about me staying up late and wasting time and asdfghjk--

God, I'm so frustrated. I can function like a normal human being, I promise, I just CAN'T around my dad or my family because they judge every little thing I do...

Aaaa I wasn't expecting so much support so quickly! Thank you all so much for helping me out and supporting me with pre-order commissions and donations! I've reached the goal for a new tablet already! I've started transferring the money from my paypal to the bank, and after my first day of work - which is this Thursday - I'll stop by the store and pick up the tablet!

You guys have been an amazing help, and I'm excited to get started on your commissions! As of now, the commission slots are full and closed - I don't wanna overload myself with work. And I'll be moving that help ad to the Scraps. Or-- maybe it should be removed? Haven't decided yet. Maybe scraps then removed.

There's sooo much that I want to draw and I can't wait to start! Thank you all so much again!

Commission list
---

1.  Toonfan0

2.  Mimi-Eevee

3.  LordKamen

4.  PolarisStar

5.  Ultra-Fox

I feel ridiculous. The word that comes to mind is "friendless," but I know that's not true, I have plenty who care about me and who I care about too

idk I'm in a funk. Some of my close friends are having drinks and I can't really drink with them and if I did drink I think I'd just get sadder. weehhh

I feel so stuck. I just wanna draw. Or-- I wanna get started at work so I can get paid so I can buy a tablet to draw with. And pay my dad back. And save up for a new computer so I can actually play my games, and not just play stuff that's 10+ years old, or stuff that isn't really demanding. I've been using a hunk of junk for years without any real way to upgrade it. One time I tried buying a new GPU to make it better, but this thing wasn't compatible and didn't have all the plugs I needed for it and asjdhsjgh

I just wanna draw my characters and make comics and stufffff

I'm getting a new tablet as SOON as I get paid, uggghhhh I can't stand not being able to draw, it's been MONTHS ._.

also, holla, short journal, expect more of these

Kinda venty journal. There's a tl;dr at the bottom. Thanks for reading u_u'

So I got home a couple of nights ago - on the 11th to be exact - and I've been quite swamped with attempting to sink back into normality. Except a few things are kinda barring that feeling of going back to normal from happening.

Somehow I keep forgetting that the only time my dad and I get along is when he's miles and miles away from me. I don't mind talking to him over the phone for a few minutes, or having him swing by the house to drop off farm supplies so I can continue taking care of his cattle and stuff before he goes back home, but since I left for Canada, everyone (myself included) was under the assumption that I would be gone for a much longer, more permanent amount of time. He's had to live where I did to take care of his cows and stuff, and also cleared most of the house up to be rented out to new tenants, who are moving in at the end of this month.

And I'm not 100% sure if I'm gonna be able to continue staying in this house because of those new tenants. If they're not cool with me living here, I'll have to go live with my grandmother, since she's the closest place I can go to and still be able to drive to-and-from work. I did get my job back yesterday, so I'll be delivering pizzas again. Yaaay.

Oh yeah, no internet at my grandma's house either because she's -that- kind of old lady that doesn't believe in that stuff. Sooo I'll just have my phone for internet while I'm there till I figure something else out.

Anyway, since I got home, I've just been having my family wag their fingers at me over my relationship and moving and needing their money to fly back home and ugghhhh..... don't you think I've suffered enough?? I am well aware that my relationship did not work out and it forced me to come back home much earlier than expected and I already promised to pay back my folks the money I owe them for flying me back down. Plus I JUST got back home, and my dad keeps jumping on my ass about "why haven't you fed the cows?? Why haven't you fed the dog?? Wake up, son, you can't just sit on that computer and expect to get things done."

I've been back for BARELY three days, ughhh, can I just... readjust??

Anyway... all venting and stuff aside, I'm back home, trying to get back to normal. I start my job again on Sunday, so that'll keep me busy. I'm gonna get a new computer sometime soon, a new tablet later so I can start drawing. Maybe I'll make that computer purchase a laptop, seeing as how I might be moving around quite a bit for the foreseeable future. There's no way I'm permanently hunkering down at my grandma's with no internet and her hardcore "back in my day, everything was better" mentality.

tl;dl, I'm home from Canada, my family sucks, got my job back, gonna save money and figure out what to do with myself

Hey! Man, last time I posted a journal it was Christmas! How've you guys been?? I'm posting from my phone right now, so forgive weird things I might type on accident if I do.

So little personal life update: spent the last few months hardcore working full time as a pizza driver, loved it but I felt like I lost money just as fast as I'd make it. Tried moving out to go live with my girlfriend in Canada. Things aren't working out too well, and we're mutually splitting up, and I'm gonna be heading back home.

But it's not all doom and gloom! I'm actually kinda looking forward to heading home again. First thing I'm gonna do is get my delivery job back, then raise money for a new computer and tablet. I really wanna buckle down on art; I can't tell you how badly I've been wanting to draw porn again, it's been months and it's killing me!

I've also been kinda wanting to be more social lately?? Like, my main little discord group kinda fell apart and stuff, and it made me think "hey, maybe that gives me time to start a group," and I've never run a discord server before, but maybe that's a cool idea?? I think some other furs on here run discord groups and stuff, and I think it'd really give me inspiration to draw a lot more with direct contact with followers. Tbh, the only reason I never streamed drawing was because my computer is actually a garbo toaster.

I've also been on-and-off thinking of making a Tumblr, but I've made a few in the past before and I just feel like I'm not sure what I'm doing. Maybe I could get some help and advice on that too ^^;

Also, I appreciate all the new watchers and favs I've been receiving while on hiatus!! This account isn't dead, it's just inactive because real life and lack of tablet. And bad computer.

Oh yeah, I'll be coming home by June, hopefully. Fingers crossed!

So I've been away for a good while, taking care of my friends while they're staying at my house for the holidays. It's really nice not being all by myself, and having them all here supporting me and showing me what it's like to leave the house - let alone my room - for better or for worse. It's nice to not live the hiki life, even for a little while.

I don't know why, but my tablet isn't working. I've tried installing drivers, uninstalling drivers, installing old and different drivers, uninstalling the tablet and all of its services and restarting my computer a million times, but it just isn't working. Buuut one of my visiting friends' tablets works, so I'm using his for the time being. So if you see any uploads, it's because of that!

This is a little late, but I really want to thank all of you that gave me emergency commissions to help pay for my father's lodging bills for my friends to stay over. I know I've had to cancel quite a few orders near the end there, but things got really busy once my friends settled in, and I've barely had time to just sit on the computer - those of you who have me on discord know I've only been around on my phone recently.

Not to mention, I've been in and out of full-time jobs. I had a dishwashing job for a little while, but working 9 hours on a closing shift with no breaks was too goddamn much for me, and I start pizza delivery tomorrow. Gotta pay those bills somehow!

I may re-open commissions if I find more time for them, but as of now they're closed because I'm way too swamped with work and taking care of my friends.

I hope you all are having a great holiday! Lemme know what you've been up to! Christmas is just in a couple of days aRE YOU HYPED???

Aaa, I had a wonderful birthday today! Thank you all for your super kind birthday wishes AND EVEN GIFTS?? That was EXTREMELY sweet!! I am not worthy!

/bowbowbow

Tomorrow morning I pick up my girlfriend from the airport! So it's time to get some shut-eye for now so I'll be woke enough to get her on time! I hope you're all having as nice a day as I've had!

FIRST THING'S FIRST, I JUST REALLY WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU THAT HAVE BEEN PURCHASING COMMISSIONS!
I've still got a few more left to do, I've just been -really busy- and doing them out of order cuz some are easier than others and ajsdhjdfhgj yeah you understand. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about my remaining orders!
But I SUPER appreciate it because now I've raised just about enough money to pay my dad rent! You all are LIFESAVERS AND I'M NOT WORTHY.

So my birthday is tomorrow - November 13th - and that's really exciting! I'll be turning 26! My dad got me a nice bottle of whiskey to celebrate with, and I'll be saving it for when my friends all come to visit. I've had a busy day spending time with family all day today~ Aaand unfortunately I have to run last-minute errands tomorrow on my birthday so I won't have much time for sit-down-and-have-fun, BUT! I'm sure there will be all the time in the world to catch up soon enough.

I also FINALLY got a call back for a job interview! I was so shocked when I picked up the phone! Usually I get a million calls from telemarketers and insurance companies tryna sell me a million things that cost me "less than a dollar per day," and I'm like "lul, make a patreon" and hang up, BUT THIS TIME IT WAS ACTUALLY SOMEONE CALLING ME BACK TO RESPOND TO MY APPLICATION! FINALLY!
I musta sent out applications to McDonald's MONTHS ago when trying to get work, and I've finally gotten a call back. I've got an interview on Wednesday, which is sick! Wish me luck, guys! I could REALLY use this job! It'd sure help with the remainder of the rent for my dad, as well as get my friends some nice Christmas presents!

So there have been a multitude of snags involved on moving, and I won't bore with too many unnecessary details on the drama and going-abouts happening regarding all of that and skip right to the endgame of it.

Rather than going to Canada immediately, my friends are going to be bunking with me for the next couple of months in an effort to save money. The entire point of living with me is to have cheaper lodging and not be paying out the ass with rent money before we can all live together and split things up four-ways. However, I cannot get my father to agree to having my friends staying in the house for no pay and is demanding compensation. Compensation, mind you, that we're ultimately supposed to be saving for a trip back UP to Canada. So I've stepped forward and am going to pay off the money to my father for my friends before we all get the hell out of here.

They're already buying their own plane tickets to-and-from their respective homes, and we'll be doing our own grocery buying to feed four mouths during this entire duration. That's more than enough money to be spending.

You know me, I do not like to come off as someone grubbing for money and I dearly want to earn every dollar I make. I'm already scrambling around with commission work, buckling down and getting shit done as quickly as possible to help raise the money I need to pay my father off in the next two months. I'm still job hunting, though that's been a fruitless effort for months now - sincerely not for a lack of trying, I assure you. And am even looking towards my local friends' parents for odd-jobs for any kind of boost to help build my finances to cover for the losses. I'm doing my best to earn what I can.

If you would like to help me out, ordering commissions is the best way to go about it if you can. My commission work has been pushed to the absolute top priority to the point of being done within the same day. If you can't order commission work, I understand, but even a boost could help me out. I don't have to make my first payment to my dad until December rolls around, so there's plenty of time to raise money if I just keep at it.

Thank you so much for reading this, I really appreciate it. Comment below or note me if you have any questions or would like to buy something!

Hey, so I've been gone a while, and I've been veeery busy during my absence! I'll apologize out of courtesy, even though I know more people are just happy to greet back a fellor FA member rather than grieving over them not being present! But I'm also in need of some help

I really don't want to come off as money grubby, and I feel a little bad coming back after being gone for months and then almost immediately re-open commissions like I'm desperate for some work and money, but... I -am- kinda desperate for some work and money. The whole job-searching thing from a few months ago has not been proving fruitful at all, and I pinch my pennies as much as I can in order to get away from where I live now; I simply don't have the opportunities out here in the middle of the woods, miles and miles away from civilization.

ugh, but I don't want a pity party, I want work. I'm planning on moving up north to live with my girlfriend in the city, and I'll be able to make the trip in just a couple months. But I could really use a little extra money just to keep me on my feet for when I head out, so commissions are open here again. I'm hoping I can find some more consistent work once I'm in the city, since everything will be a little closer to my living space instead of waaaay out of the way like it is now.
Plus the... holidays are coming up, and I always feel terrible being the poor guy that just receives gifts too. I want to give back, for reals.

Thank you so much for reading and considering, and either comment below or note me if you're interested in buying any commissions.

Hey, guys! Been a looong while. I suppose I'm just on break from drawing at the moment; it's been kinda difficult to squeeze into my normal free hours! I should probably be more vocal about when a hiatus comes along, huh?

Anyway, since everyone has been talking about it, Hurricane Irma's a thing. I see it's hit some other Florida furs in the south, and it's hitting central Florida today. That's where I live, just for the record~
So it's hurricane day for me today! My folks got evacuated from their house and are coming to stay with me all throughout the weekend up till Tuesday.

For those of you already hit, I hope the damages weren't too bad. Where I live, I generally just have to put up with a post-hurricane-shrubbery-cleanup-job, so I've got it easy, but it'd be ignorant to assume that's how all of Florida feels when the storms hit.

Alright, so, I am SOO sorry for not having done anything in a couple weeks. I have been extremely busy on my end, job hunting like a mad dog, sending out applications and going out looking for work, as well as keeping up with my friends and relationship and stuff, and I know a couple of you have commissions you're patiently waiting on, and I promise I'm getting to them. I have free time at the moment, and I've got my tablet all plugged in to work on them the moment I finish writing this journal!

But yeah, the big thing is looking for work. I've been kinda sick of the position I'm in for a while now with no proper job and just sorta -living- on my parents' farm and taking care of everything, getting paid scraps for cash, as the bulk of what I suppose would be considered income goes to all the bills the house I live alone in racks up. Plus my father, who pays me and moved out of this house, is often quite short on funds, himself, so it's not like I can just demand he pays me more. That's just not right. So I've been up and about looking for alternative work in retail or as a janitor or whatever I can get my hands on.

Christ, man, looking for work is not easy. I honestly haven't had a real job in years, and it wasn't even for that long. I've just been managing this farm for the last five or six years on inconsistent pay from my father, and do you know how frustrating that is to write over and over again on application sheets??

Anyway, I'm not really looking for a pity party, or for external advice since I don't really think I need it - I've got my applications out there, I check in regularly to see if the positions are taken, I've tried personal confrontation with one of the places I've applied to and just got shoo'd away with a "we'll contact you if we need you" - to I honestly don't think I'm doing anything wrong. I just wanted to let everyone know why I've been so inactive, and why some of these commissions have been extra slow for those of you that ordered some within the last couple of weeks. And I'm sooo sorry for that!

On one final note, for those that may suggest working from home doing commissions or patreon or something, I honestly don't think I could. Being at home is WAY too distracting for me to seriously sit down and work. My social life is way too active, and I have a hard time focusing on drawing if I'm so much as in a discord call with one other person. I just can't. I can't focus. Plus with shit like YouTube and Steam RIGHT THERE at my fingertips, I have every reason in the world to get distracted, so yeah, I do feel like I need an external work environment or something.

Wow, so, it's been over a month since the last journal entry, so I figured I might as well make one!!

I really wanna make some more frequent journals. I'll... also be making a new twitter account as soon as my email is available. Which will be in a couple days. I'll keep you posted on that, but twitter will be a pretty good way to keep up with me, I think. B)

Anyway! Recently posted was the first page to Make Me Bad! And I hope it's a good start! I spent most of my night working on this thing with some distractions here and there, but here's hoping new pages won't be so drastic! I have been trying to justify myself going "look, you're getting used to a new program and making a bunch of layers and clouds - not every page is gonna be like this one" but sometimes it's a harD REASSURANCE TO SWALLOW

But yeah, unlike my old comic, Counting Sheep, which DID take up to three hours per page, I'm hoping Make Me Bad will go a lot smoother once this stylish intro is out of the way and we get into some more dialogue, or indoor scenes. Like I said, just trying to make a good first impression!

uhhmmm...!! OH! We hit over 200 watchers, and I have NO IDEA when that happened, but for reals thank all of you that are following me now! You're super important and you guys give me ALL THE SUPPORT I could ask for! And then some!

I think that's about it for now! Thank you so much for reading!

hmu

...

jk, but I did have to drop off my girlfriend at the airport. This journal is gonna get really schmaltzy, so if you're not into that, go ahead and skip down past the next ellipses for relevant stuff.

Watching her go through those gates to get on her flight was so hard. We musta cried like babies at least five times in the last two days over her departure. But she can't stay here, and I wouldn't want her to live on the farm with me either. It's way too hot, there's too much work to do, and few jobs to be had. However... once my obligations to the farm are all done, I should be able to find some time to follow her aaaaall the way back to Canada for good.

In the meantime, she's already scheming to get me a ticket to come up and visit her early - the little devil.
I've had a really amazing week while she was here. The house felt... so alive, y'know? She cooked me delicious meals and made sure there was LOTS of leftovers so I wouldn't starve on my normal weekly rations, khehe.. so the stove was always running and the lights were always on. I could hear her tiny little feet stomping across the carpet as she waltzed all over the house. For the first time in a long, looong time, the TV finally got some use; she hooked up her laptop to the thing and we watched a bunch of movies together, and binge-watched Danganronpa 3 together.

I didn't... realize how empty I kinda felt until I walked back into the empty house and realized that stuff was gone. For now, at least.
But it also feels good. To feel that empty gives me this feeling deep down that really lets me know how much I care about her, and how much I miss her. I can't wait to see her again.

...

NOW! Back on FA. As I said, I've got some commission work started, and I MEANT to finish it while my girlfriend was over, but I was a little busier this week than I expected. I honestly didn't think we'da been leavin' the house every single day to go out shopping or sightseeing or whatever! Haha, you can tell I don't have company over often.
But that work is totally getting done now. I'll have fresh commissions ready for my VERY PATIENT customers by this weekend.

Alright! I think that just about covers everything.
I missed you ALL so much, and in a way, I am kinda glad to sit alone at my computer again and just... relax.
I hope you all had a wonderful week! If you did anything fun over the weekend lemme know! We went to see Guardians 2 and it was a-ma-zing~!

Driving to the airport was SCARY but I did it. Driving OUT of the airport was A NIIIIGHTMAAAARE, I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA GET PULLED OVER CUZ AN OFFICER WAS BLARING THE LIGHTS AND SIRENS AND STUFF, but fortunately it was just because I forgot to turn my headlights on and we got to go home without a single incident after that.
I'm not a clever man, driving is a big no-fun for me. And I'm DREADING taking my girlfriend back to the airport when her little stay here is over.

That one's REALLY gonna be worse because not only do I have to do the whole drive again, BUT THEN I HAVE TO WATCH HER LEAVE, WEEEEH

GONNA ENJOY HER WHILE I GOT HER! And she sends her hellos to all of you as well!

I'm a big baby that hates driving, I'm a nervous wreck in the drivers' seat. Gotta pick up my girlfriend from the airport in a couple hours bUT I'M SO SCARED SOMEONE SEND HELP.
I've never driven on the highway before, let alone a city! I live out in the middle of the sticks where the only traffic is deer in the woods!