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A fresh start?
Posted 6 years agoSo, this is my chance to explain myself. This is my 'new' account, which I had to move to because I've been waiting to change my account name for years, and it's apparently just not going to happen. So I've migrated to a whole new account. For anyone who's here from being redirected from the old account, Hi! Hopefully this will be slightly more frequently updated than I had in the past couple years on the old one - I really have gotten kind of lax about keeping a journal...
I have spent the last little while rereading the old journal entries - I am glad I made them. It helps to have my own words to read and remember the situations I was in, and the feelings I had. I just had a few things put into better perspective for me. Most notably - I'm in a really good place now. Finally.
I will say that I withdrew from Life for a bit - one of the reasons that my updates were so few and far between. I kept pulling back further and further to avoid the things that were hurting me (emotionally and psychologically) if I couldn't fix them immediately. I really went through hell for a while, but in the end I did manage to get everything that I took upon myself taken care of. MY parents have their own place (actually have for a couple years), got my sister situated and stable, which is great for both of us, and I've been grinding away for a few years and have made progress towards my goals recently with everyone else's issues taken care of (I am very much one of those 'I come last' people).
Things that I apparently didn't post here by journal include - moving to South Dakota for a special account at the company I work for. Moving my parent's and eventually my sister up there too. Moving my sister back to Colorado when the job market in SD didn't agree with her skills/abilities. And very shortly, moving myself back to Colorado officially. That last one is only really a paperwork thing - I've been technically homeless for over a year, as I live in my truck (over the road trucker). I haven't needed an apartment of my own for a while, and it hasn't been worth paying for the empty place that was 'home' just to be there for a couple days a month. So I've been grinding away working and just visiting various family for my 'hometime' when I take it. It's been great that way too - I have time to see everyone, but I'm not forced into living with anyone which is really bad for me. Win - win so far.
With all of that said, one thing I've always been working towards is buying my own house. I've always wanted a place to work on my various projects. Buying a house with either a good sized garage or an actual shop space is the only way I know that I'll have the freedom I need to do some of the things I want to. That is now quickly approaching - I"m going to be talking to a realtor in the next few weeks to start the process of finding the right place. I'm FINALLY in a realistic position to be serious about buying a house, and now the only real obstacle is finding something appropriate in my price range. Thankfully, I know how to look for property, and the initial searching I've been doing is very promising for me - lots of properties in my price range with pleasing statistics. To be honest, all I want is the shop space - the house is quite secondary to me.
Once I have a space that's mine, I'm going to start saving for a nice sabbatical from work. I'm going to take a full year off - no 'job' that you can call it. I'll be completely on my own schedule - and I'll have the space to start tackling all of the projects that I've been holding off on for the last several years. While I do this I will be concentrating on my health - mostly just getting back into a decent, rigorous workout routine that I've been wanting to start again. I'll also be making videos of my hobby projects to post on Youtube - I've been living vicariously through several channels there in the last couple years to get my fix for my hobby itch. I watch other people do the things I want to, and learn and enjoy through that, and converse in the comments with others. It's been a great get me by, but I'm going to give back to that community with my own videos when I get a chance to do so. I'm not expecting anything, but I will say that if it ends up becoming a thing, I will continue to work on my hobbies as long as my money holds out - if I start getting income from youtube that will just extend my 'sabbatical' longer...possibly permanently if it makes enough income. But I'm just going to enjoy however long I get, with the initial target to save enough to comfortably live for a year without having to work. Not actually hard with the numbers I'm working with right now (I make good money, and I'm looking for a relatively inexpensive house - well under $100k).
So yeah - I'm not dead, and actually doing fine. And this is perhaps the new beginning I've been looking forward to for several years. Here's to hoping. :)
Broadpaw Fox (formerly known as K Fox)
I have spent the last little while rereading the old journal entries - I am glad I made them. It helps to have my own words to read and remember the situations I was in, and the feelings I had. I just had a few things put into better perspective for me. Most notably - I'm in a really good place now. Finally.
I will say that I withdrew from Life for a bit - one of the reasons that my updates were so few and far between. I kept pulling back further and further to avoid the things that were hurting me (emotionally and psychologically) if I couldn't fix them immediately. I really went through hell for a while, but in the end I did manage to get everything that I took upon myself taken care of. MY parents have their own place (actually have for a couple years), got my sister situated and stable, which is great for both of us, and I've been grinding away for a few years and have made progress towards my goals recently with everyone else's issues taken care of (I am very much one of those 'I come last' people).
Things that I apparently didn't post here by journal include - moving to South Dakota for a special account at the company I work for. Moving my parent's and eventually my sister up there too. Moving my sister back to Colorado when the job market in SD didn't agree with her skills/abilities. And very shortly, moving myself back to Colorado officially. That last one is only really a paperwork thing - I've been technically homeless for over a year, as I live in my truck (over the road trucker). I haven't needed an apartment of my own for a while, and it hasn't been worth paying for the empty place that was 'home' just to be there for a couple days a month. So I've been grinding away working and just visiting various family for my 'hometime' when I take it. It's been great that way too - I have time to see everyone, but I'm not forced into living with anyone which is really bad for me. Win - win so far.
With all of that said, one thing I've always been working towards is buying my own house. I've always wanted a place to work on my various projects. Buying a house with either a good sized garage or an actual shop space is the only way I know that I'll have the freedom I need to do some of the things I want to. That is now quickly approaching - I"m going to be talking to a realtor in the next few weeks to start the process of finding the right place. I'm FINALLY in a realistic position to be serious about buying a house, and now the only real obstacle is finding something appropriate in my price range. Thankfully, I know how to look for property, and the initial searching I've been doing is very promising for me - lots of properties in my price range with pleasing statistics. To be honest, all I want is the shop space - the house is quite secondary to me.
Once I have a space that's mine, I'm going to start saving for a nice sabbatical from work. I'm going to take a full year off - no 'job' that you can call it. I'll be completely on my own schedule - and I'll have the space to start tackling all of the projects that I've been holding off on for the last several years. While I do this I will be concentrating on my health - mostly just getting back into a decent, rigorous workout routine that I've been wanting to start again. I'll also be making videos of my hobby projects to post on Youtube - I've been living vicariously through several channels there in the last couple years to get my fix for my hobby itch. I watch other people do the things I want to, and learn and enjoy through that, and converse in the comments with others. It's been a great get me by, but I'm going to give back to that community with my own videos when I get a chance to do so. I'm not expecting anything, but I will say that if it ends up becoming a thing, I will continue to work on my hobbies as long as my money holds out - if I start getting income from youtube that will just extend my 'sabbatical' longer...possibly permanently if it makes enough income. But I'm just going to enjoy however long I get, with the initial target to save enough to comfortably live for a year without having to work. Not actually hard with the numbers I'm working with right now (I make good money, and I'm looking for a relatively inexpensive house - well under $100k).
So yeah - I'm not dead, and actually doing fine. And this is perhaps the new beginning I've been looking forward to for several years. Here's to hoping. :)
Broadpaw Fox (formerly known as K Fox)
