I need to confess that ever since I made a Fur Affinity account for myself, I been unbelievably active on this site. Wither it's writing journals like this, looking at various forms of furry art. Be it as pictures of fursuits, reference sheets, badges, drawings and other crafts done by other furs. Most I like and some feels a bit iffy to me. But as  TheDiverseZabuza sometimes say in his videos on YouTube, "We won't get into that right now!" Some I tend to fave and comment under. Be it as to how much I like a piece of work to something witty or a random caption.

But as most of you know that there has been shit happening over this weekend on FA. At first I was attempting to log on to my account to see how Babylon respond to the rendering of the badge or badges I'm thinking of making myself and sending them as part of a package from Australia for Zabu and his entire family. But I couldn't get into Fur Affinity. I did showed the link to that design of the badge I'm making for both her and Zabu as there sergal fursonas as a shout of her fur affinity page. I showed Zabu the same rendering I got up in my FA gallery and he faved it. Yay!

But as every fur on FA discovered, there is this page saying something like FA is offline or some sort of blockage. I thought "Dafaq. What did I do wrong that violate the FA code of conduct?" As the computer normally logs on to my FA account as I'm the only fur and thus I'm the only person in my household that goes on this site. Then I clicked on the link and there's this forum site and reports have it from the admin saying that there is this hacking attack to this site. And they are investigating on these attacks.

Like every else who is active on this site I was unable to log on to FA for roughly 2 days as the techies performed a bit of maintenance work on it. Then once it was back on, I noticed that 3 of the recent things I posted on my gallery went missing like this hacking attack caused them to be deleted off my gallery. Including 2 of the photos I uploaded there of me in fursuit as umbreon whilst I was out at C4 that I found on Facebook and the badge rendering I did for both Zabu and Babylon. I end up having to at least re-upload the 2 con photos of myself in fursuit which I did and by Sithis I was frustrated doing so. I didn't unfortunately bother re uploading the recent badge design I did. As it ain't the finished product. Just the rendering. I originally planed to make it like a 2 in 1 con badge that is make like one of those heart pendants type jewellery that meant to be broken in half and both sides of the couple gets a half each.

I got given 1 day to do this until they decide to make the site as a read only until they performed further maintenance work on it. I couldn't even answer any shouts given to me for another day or 2. So I became more active on my Facebook and YouTube, not to make videos but mainly watching, commenting and liking to them.

Oh, and yesterday morning, I was in the chat to  TienLong's Grumpystream for the first time (YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q52jmMepyR8). Not just for myself but I was also there to scout him as a potential guest for WWFC in 3 years from now. So really I was there also as a ambassador to my friends in the CaBone family as Al Cabone is making this furry convention as a real life one. It's been a pleasure chatting to this celestial dragon on Furstream. Funny that he is pretending to be British with his monocle and his top hat and he was waring a suit. Drinking what he call his tea. Speaking in a failed attempt of an English posh accent. It's been a blast. I had a conversation with that Chinese dragon. He is so much of a funny dragon. Really kind of like Beerus is in DBZ. He is the type that wants to be taken seriously because of his status but really you can't help but laugh in amusement. *Channelling into my argonian fursona* I may get a die from saying that but the Psygic Monks told me in a dream about a celestial argonian dovah form that Lord Tien Long knows nothing about. Which is like the equivalent to the super saiyan god form out of that same anime Beerus is from. So the way to defend yourself from a celestial being is become one.

Anyway. I notice this as a very long journal and I noticed that some furs are leaving FA because of this incident. But what motivates me to keep being on this site is that because I have too many watchers to leave FA for good. Made too many friends in the furry fandom through this to leave and many of my favourite notable furs are still on this site like Zabu,  Katalina and some others are still on it. And should that happen again, I do have my Wesyl as well even though I ain't active on that. Am considering making a Furry Network account for myself as in the name of Bruzo or Bruzo Dragonius and when I receive my argonian fursona as a suit I will plan to be more active on Twitter. As is I'm also active on YouTube and my personal Facebook account.

As you know, I got 2 things that I'm writing about. The topics in this journal do not be related to each other so there for off tangent so this will be a 2 in one announcement basically.

Artist Boost
First and foremost I want to give a shout out to my best furry friend that is like a brother to me. Over in America,  AngeltheCosmicWarrior. ATM, he may not be doing art commissions as he currently don't have a working PayPal account. But as of late he been doing some amazing drawings. I personally love them and so as some of the other furs. I'm not saying that only because he did a couple of drawing of Bruzo and some with his dragon sona. Just that he did amazing work in his art and he is stating to put so much detail in the background.

He now has 18 watchers in his FA including this Australian lizard who now have 86. By his artwork alone, he deserves to have more watchers then he currently have. Way more. Please don't take only my word for it but click between the brackets () and see for yourself. If you love his work, please give him a watch if you haven't already.

Potentially Going to FurJam
This is another thing I want to announce. As of this year. Considering of how much, I enjoyed suiting up for C4 this year. And how much this con depression will most likely hit me coming  FurDU. Also that it is 100% confirmed it is going to happen this year. I will be quite possibly be going to  FurJam this year.

As is, I already made a personal convention debut in fursuit in Gosford which I enjoy. I chat with other furs on Omegle in the Weekend of FWO. I enjoy that also and can't wait until Buckeye aka,  furozen_in_minn announce the next one as he's the founder. Hell, I been chatting in Uncle Kage's winestream 3x and I enjoyed each and every time I been on it.

I currently haven't registered to go to that meet. But this will be most likely my first furry convention I'm going to (well the closest resemblance to one I most likely go to as it's more of a meet so far). The reason that I haven't registered to go is despite that FurJam is the cheapest furry event for me to travel to as I can easily go by public train. Not having to even travel through Countrylink. But the reason is this uncertainty of when is the EB Games Expo is on this year which I'm entering a cosplay comp of that. Is it gowning to be in the same month as FurJam? Like as in September this year?

If I do go I will most likely suit up as my Pokesona in only the fursuit permitted outings as part of FurJam only. Sure I will have a chance to meet and hangout with other furs in person IRL over there. That is the other reason I wanted to go. I know I would less likely to drive all the way down to Sydney and as is I would most likely drive down there for EB Expo. But if I do catch a train, how in oblivion can I get to the nearest train station from my house to catch that train from Newcastle to Sydney. How can I possibly take Umbreon on the train with him by carrying the entire suit I guess that I may even have to suit up back in Newcastle to get on that train on the day unless there's a big enough luggage for the suit itself. Then there is if my parents won't take me anywhere when in fursuit, I wonder if they take me and umbreon to the station but umbreon is off. If I do go for sure I'd announce it and maybe if there is a con meme for me to fill for Furjam I'd fill that on FA.

Yesty, as all of you know, I did driven down to Gosford from Newcastle for the second time this some year like I planed. Just to go out suiting in my umbreon suit in pubic. And have pictures taken as this very Pokémon while I was there and participate in a cosplay comp. It may be a small convention, but damn this excursion I took for myself did justice for me in making up with the times I didn't cosplay at a convention. This frustration I had in not going to a single furry convention this year, including the one that I intend on going to. Confurgence. And another Australia based furry con I really really want to go this month but couldn't afford to go this year which is FurDU.

As you know it pissed me off as that well, no one I know that I met IRL wanted to be around me in a fursuit just for the sake of it. My parents would flat out refuse to take me anywhere as far as a local train station to even catch a train to the convention while I was wearing a fursuit. As it is according to them, it is "hypocritical" against what they like and don't like. Even if I say I needed to catch a train to attend an event where it's encourage able to where a such costume.

But before I left for C4, I spent a bit of time on chat in yesterdays winestream with other furries and of course the host of the stream the wine thief himself, Uncle Kage. I nicknamed him that because one of my favourite eastern dragon in the fandom  TienLong calls him that most notably in his own stream which he call a Grumpstream. The stream I am planning to and yet to be in chat for. It was great for a laugh. If you haven't been to any of his streams, then you don't know what you are missing.

Also, as  Kagemushi advertised that he will be tasting wine from my homeland which he did on that stream BTW. I even got more interested to be in being in it because of it. My man Zabu the Sergal made a cameo in the chat, all of the regulars are in it and hell, even Telephone herself was in the chat. Even to prove it, she was in under the name of  ino89777. The name she goes under in FA and in her personal YouTube channel. To those who are interested, It is confirmed that both Telephone and Radio will be in the winestream in person and hopefully in suits somewhere in July. I know I can't wait and I so going to be in chat for it.

But fast forward to me in Central Coast Leagues Club in Gosford, I had a blast in this cosplay convention. Had my photo taken by numerous people with other attendees including other cosplayers. Who played the characters such a Predator, Joker, some solders out of Gears of War, Wicked Witch of the West. Some kids like the costume so much, that they wanted to give me high fives and hugged me and took photos with me. Some people petted me. Umbreon was so much loved by the locals.

There was numerous people who was asking me is it hot in that suit including this guy who I suspect as the major of Gosford City Council himself. Being in fullsuit people would guess it right. I was sweating but fuck it was so worth it. This experience I had. I regretfully had to break the magic as I needed to hydrate. The other thing I so regretted is due to the lack of moving space because of so many people is I foolishly turned down having a handler. But I was so lucky that someone willingly could've been my handler. Or in my case, a trainer. So I'm virtually a wild but tamed Pokémon. Or one of which that enjoys the company of humans that if a human where to catch me, I would be willing to be in a Poke ball, without a fight. Like a starter to be for a trainer.

I ended up doing some shananigans in the room. Kind of the type Telephone is famous for. I was acting curious, playful like a puppy normally would.

Oblivious to the fact that there was a Newcastle Jets supporter in the suit. Even I admitted that I support the Jets in front of them. That didn't matter. The con staff are very friendly. They were so helpful and understanding to me as a suitor like they were and actually were expecting fursuits in the place that normally they wouldn't as it is an actual club. Talking about going fursuiting at a con on such a low travel expense and a short travel compared to Confergence and FurDU. Even shorter compared to Popcon, Sydney Oz-comic con, Supernova, EB Expo and especially Gamma Con which is an even more long distance trip because it's in Canberra. All it cost me is petrol money to travel there as I had driven to C4. I regretfully didn't buy anything from there to remember it. But nothing really appeal to me anyway.

Even Five Nights at Freddys T-shirts one table is selling didn't appeal as much As I haven't personally played that game. I know that is an odd thing for a fur to say but it's the case. Also, Not only that but they may not have one in my size. There was a Lego display with such spectacular builds. Most I personally admire and respect the builder for. A lightsaber demo. Like as of Star Wars.

Thanks to that, my fursuiting angst is not as intense as it was before that con to a point it downgraded to actual con depression. But some day, I will be at a furry convention and most likely suiting again in it. As someday, I will be in suit as my main fursona. Either in my YouTube videos, various conventions, both furry and non furry, medieval festivals, or even on my hist stream and Omegle. Maybe someday because most people are amazed at me for suiting at a con with such limited moving room without a handler I otherwise needed the same people who organised C4 would put me as guest of honour to do a bit of an interactive panel on fursuiting. Which I wouldn't mind doing as an ambassador of the furry fandom in general in this very con. Not just my home town.

But either way, I am planning to go back there for the next C4 in Gosford or anywhere in NSW Central Coast hopefully as my argonian character, Bruzo Dragonius. And be in a cosplay comp as him. On my Facebook last night, I written a status on the conventions page giving my thanks and appreciation to the organising staff of the event. I am honest doing that like I always am. I am at the process of tracking down photos of myself in my shiny umbreon fursuit at the con but if I came across it, it will be in my gallery on Fur Affinity as well as on my Facebook. Maybe I might make a slideshow of photos of my time at C4 to feature in my Youtube channel.

For those who don't know or haven't got me as a friend on Facebook. You know that I once had a problem with Skype that I had finally kicked in the ass. That problem I had was that whoever I called could hear me well. But I couldn't hear feedback from the person who I was in the line with. That is problem frustrated me a lot. Because I wanted to put Hist.0 on debut on my YouTube channel. And to those who don't know what I mean Hist.0, what I mean is that I wanted create a series of videos of me collaborating with other youtubers. I said that in my earlier journals already.

It can be both furry and some non-furry of those that I like and subed to and some popular ones. Or "popufurs". Gods, I hated that label. But it would be like too cringe worthy to even my standards as a youtuber. I'm not saying that furry youtubers in general are cringe worthy. I mean even if someone say something and the other person say something like "hallo" repeatedly or "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you" or talk over the other person oblivious to what the person on the other side is actually talking is what I would even cringe over. It would turn into a river of cringe instead of a proper collab.

But I have finally fixed that as that it was fact that either the speakers on the computer had been busted. Problem eliminated by just removing then and replacing that temporarily with headphones until I buy another set of speakers. Then the problem was that the headphones was in the wrong AV output and I didn't set Skype to the right one as I wasn't quite sure what one is it to put the headphones in. But I tended to put it into the right settings, tested the Skype reception. Worked perfectly so Hist.0 will debut in my channel much sooner.

I just finished voice calling my friend who is a fellow furry youtuber, Slade Teroshi whos main fursona is a Sergal in the same name. He is seen in his channel ATM in partial suit as Keyku who is a panther. Slade and I were just brainstorming the things we could do or a topic to talk about. I also called my other friend in the fandom  AngeltheCosmicWarrior on Skype. I can hear both Angel and Slade perfectly. So I deemed that as my achievement. And I'm sure they can deffo hear me as my mic which is built into my webcam works really well and thus I never needed to by a microphone separately. So by the hist, I will assure you. It will be worth watching! I will also in the future do collaborations with Al CaBone, Windglide Angeldragon, and other furries I mentioned.

As for C4, I am so dying to wait for even 6 more measly days. As though it ain't really a furcon but its a comic con in Gosford. Or another words a cosplay convention. But still, it is my first convention as a fursuit performer and an actual real life cosplayer.

I'm actually driving all the way back to Gosford from Newcastle for the second time this year and my third time in that town this year. As that first time I went, it's by train.

I'm jumping for joy and this I am refusing to miss as I payed my own money to go there. I will plan to be in a cosplay comp as well as well as posing for photos buy and with other people. Either with normal attendees, by my self or with other cosplayers. I will hopefully get them and if I do I will post them to my facebook to those who friended me and of course on my FA gallery. Please, be on the lookout for them if you are interested. I encourage you to. Also commenting to and faving these are also encouraged as replying to this journal.

Also I will be making a small update video in preparation for this and maybe if I work on the kinks to my phone or at least have access to a video camera, I will be making a convention video with it. And since I have access to an editing program it would be worth watching as I have it. To those wishing me luck in the convention I automatically thank you for it. I will never be ashamed no embarrassed of being a fur because of you.

First and foremost I wanted to vent out about this way I acted towards a would've been fursuit maker of Bruzo. I needed to redeem myself to this very person and explain my motive of being so fussy supposedly on the materials used and the way I acted. For those who are new watchers who don't know what I'm on about, I written something on one of my journals that is I think too cocky and supposedly bitched about the materials she was going to use for the project. I don't want to go into that much into detail but this incident between me and this Chinese Dragon (who I was once considering to commission for this project of having me as a human transformed as this argonian character I hold dear to me as he is my main sona) bailed out on me through writing this note saying something of that nature.
That incident I didn't want to relive. As a matter of fact it haunted me. Be in mind this was before the time I received my first and only fursuit (I have currently got yet) of shiny Umbreon. Not only did the fursuit maker bailed on me but rubbed salt and pissed on my wounds by saying she will not take on future commissions for me and but wait there is more. She plastered my good name on the artist beware page on Facebook as not to be taken with commissions thus tried to ruin my chances of ever putting on a fursuit. I told her nicely to delete it as all I wanted to be a fursuiter like her and I am oblivious to fursuit making. But she replied with a refusal to as she thinks I'm a "bully" to her.
That minute I received that note I was loosing it. I was in tears. I was drowning in the rapids of emotional pain. Because all I was saving money on is this fursuit to bring Bruzo to life into the real world. I at the time never worn a fursuit in my life. And this dragon killed me on the inside. Could've kill Bruzo off completely. And as I was in this pain my parents did near nothing to relieve this pain I had. Instead mad of me for expressing this feeling in front of them. Thus punishing me. For the likes of this purple and white Asian dragon. Who's materials used to make her upgraded fursuit could've been used to give birth to my argonian fursona as a costume.
I know that I did things in the past I'm ashamed of especially here on FA. I am writing this to explain my actions of this time. To make a mends with this fursuit maker I offended. In hope she could build a bridge between us. In hope that she buries the hatchet she has against me.
The reason I acted this way is that at the time I wanted to go on a safe fursuit outing. And to do so I thought of needing a handler. The people I would trust to do this that I could turn to are my parents and family. But however they are so anti fur that they would be so embarrassed to be seen with me in a fursuit. But I don't want them to. I wanted them to be tolerable towards me in a fursuit. I respect they will never become furries themselves and thus I never intended to shove the fandom down their throats. I wanted to promote the positives of the furry community into my hometown community. I wanted to promote the fact that furs are just people who are like others but at the same time just are just into anthropomorphic animal characters. Promote the good and interesting things a fur tends to do. Not the stereotype that is portrayed in the media as these who commit bestiality and/or dress in a fursuit to fuck. I know some do I admit but I proud to admit also that I ain't one of them and thus it is none of my business of what other furs do in a fursuit. After all personally I never do intend to nor condone this thing called yiffing.
I do still want Bruzo to have a moving jaw and realistic. And I do love fleece as a material to be used to make him. Just that I was sceptical on the material and I seen picture of fursuits made of fleece and they are amazing.
But with this campaign I wanted to do. I wanted to have people see that furries are cool to a point they themselves would love the fandom enough to consider themselves as one and the city of Newcastle would be populated with enough furs to conceder having a local fur meet which is phase 2.
So to Kai the Asian Dragon. Please find it in your heart to bury that hatchet you have towards me. Bruzo Dragonius as a fursuit don't have to be a creation. I'm cool with it. Besides, Umbreon's head may be damaged but I love this Pokémon fursuit like my baby. I treated Umbreon with care and love. I would love to be in public in this fursuit with pride. More so I enjoy wearing it. And I will sure deffo enjoy Bruzo no matter what material he is made of as a suit. The reason I turned to this maker in the first place is that you were the first person suggested by another fur that are based in Australia and able to make argonians into fursuits.
All I wanted are makers that are based in Australia or a country who's currency is lower than the Australian dollar that can make Bruzo to my image with such great quality and endurance. Not dodgy in any way. As at most I can only afford paying the Aussie dollar for a fursuit commission. If you feel you still too fearful and too disgusted on my past to take on my commission on fine. I respect that. After all, I'd rather pay some overseas maker who's currency is above the Australian dollar who is willing to make a custom scalesuit with love, care and pride. And as a fun project to do rather than an Australian artist who makes him as a cash grab only. I just hope we'll cross paths in Confugence and/or FurDU in the hopefully not too distant future and let all this drama behind us. As our alter egos hopefully. By mean that in fursuit as our main characters.

Also another thing. Today is a very special day here in Australia. When we pay respect to those war veterans that gone thought so much hell to protect us from the shit that could otherwise happen in our very home land. Not just to commemorate the battle Gallipoli in World War 1 but also pay respect to those soldiers and military personnel of New Zealand and my beloved homeland of this very country I'm in protecting it and it's people from potential harm from foreign enemies throughout history. I have a lot of respect from these men and women that served our nation to protect it. I personally respect all of the Australian defence force and it's allies. As today is ANZAC Day. And that is a day we celebrate for that reason. I will wrap op this journal written on the day of the Anzacs by saying less we forget!!!!

First and foremost, I just currently experiencing some negative shit. ATM my human body breaking out with infectious sores on the back of my right hand, neck, my human face and on the back of my left shoulder. Thank the hist they are healing but they were inflicted by myself somehow due to my depression. And no, it is not by cutting. It's through something else I would not condone any other people both furs and non furs to even think about doing. But damn the itchiness is so intense.
There is this anguish about my precious Newcastle Knights loss to the Brisbane Broncos 56 - 0. You can tell I'm a furry who is sports passionate. And where I come from, residence of my hometown are so passionate to the sport of rugby league that it's like a religion. And the knights are my most favourite NRL team.
The anguish of not going to some local event, I won't call as a convention but a video game swap meet I love to go to for a reason other then just a simple fact I'm a very avid gamer. They had a cosplay comp that day I so wanted to compete in. Not that winning it matters to me as it's most likely it would be me who would most likely be the only entrant who is in a fursuit. And it is video game themed costume contest which is score 1 for me as another reason to be out in that fursuit because my fursuit is of a video game character. Like all 350+ species of Pokémon.
My fursuiting angst is way above my emotional control because my entire family are so against one of the thing I love doing that they refuse to take me as a fursuiter out in public with them. And it's to a point of, fine I accept that but in one condition: I do not want to be seen in public with a fan of the team that is not my favourite in the respectful leagues and sports I follow unless it's the day my teams play against the other persons team. In other words, you wear any merch of the teams that I do not follow that competes in a sport I do. I do not want to be seen in public with you. I'm sorry. If you ain't tolerable to be around me in suit except for reason X, If you want to enforce a dress code onto me then I believe I have every right to enforce a dress code onto you if you want to be around me until reason X. That is how I felt towards my anti fur family and anyone who denies me of going out in fursuit with them. Being so fussy on how I should dress around them.
Now from this point I will stop venting on the negatives that are happening this past week and talk on the topic which is also the headline of this journal.
I know that due to FurDU being closer and closer as this year progresses. Myself attending this convention in general is completely out of the question unless the organiser would create some sort of loophole to make it more easier for me to go to this con in such short time. The thing is there is a convention I found out on Facebook that is much more closer to home for me that I can be in fursuit for, I had brought a ticket online for this convention so in a way, I kind of registered to attend this. The convention I will deffo going to attend is C4. I will be there in suit as my Umbreon.
For those who ain't familiar with C4, It's acronym stands for Central Coast Comic-con. So in a way, it's more or a pop culture cosplay convention that runs for 1 day. It is based in the Central Coast of New South Wales. To be precise in a town called Gosford. I will most likely be going alone. So I will be there doing some fusuit shenanigans, Maybe buying some things and meting some strangers who themselves are most likely be cosplaying and if requested posing for photos. It will be welcomed as long as I'm fully in suit when it comes to photo-shoots that day. Like most suiters I hate being photographed while breaking the magic. Also just for the fun of it, I will be as planed by myself be entering a cosplay contest. Not feeling the need to win like Jessica Nigri's level. Just for the fun of it! I would consider winning such comps as a bonus really.

As most of you know that I once been out solo suiting in public this one time in the Jets vs. Wanderers soccer match in my hometown. I been on omegle for FWO also as Umbreon. (basically just the new handpaws and head).
Well recently as I originally thinking about having CBRfur as my first ever time I get to meet with other furries IRL, I learned from a comment under some status in one of the Facebook furry sites of a Dutch Angel Dragon wanting to find out if there are any others of her species live in the same NSW. There are some other comments with some saying there is. Then I came across a comment someone saying  FurJam is on this year. I was exited as I do love fursuiting. I do get to do meet other fursuiters in person. So Chances are that FurJam would be my first legit furry meet I most likely attend and more closer to me then CBRfur, FurDU and Confergence are.
Those who don't know about CBRfur and FurJam they are furmeets that based in Australia. Like SBFM which is in Brisbane. Another one I want to got to some day. But Can't ATM because it's too far interstate to me. Same with CBRfur in Canberra. But FurJam is in Sydney which is the nearest furry event I know of to me which is thus cheapest for me to go if I go by train which most likely ATM takes around 2 and a half to 3 hours from Newcastle. That's longer compared to 2 whole hours by car. But more cheaper then that. But either way I'm happy it's confirmed that it's on this year by the organiser herself.
Now seeing that I will at most of the time be suiting as Umbreon in this meet in Sydney there are factors that are concerning me. The ideal station to get off at on the Newcastle - Sydney line, If there are suggestions of where to meet up for registering, If there are designated spots to change if any of is it just recommended if I wear the suit on the train. Which I don't mind but what concerns me is the chance of my parents would let Umbreon in the car with them only to take him to the local train station to get on the train to Sydney. I mean Umbreon as in me in this Pokémon costume.

As you most likely not know, I once attempted a game development course online. And as you most likely know, there's this game out on Wii U which is a Tekken based fighting game where the entire roster of playable characters on the in game roster are Pokemon. That is called Pokken. I myself thought it would think it would be an interesting little game and would line to have a go at it because I am getting more and more back into Pokemon. This idea of a game inspired my idea of a fighting game of my own patent. Where you could play as any notable characters in the furry fandom either existed as a fursuit, a concept character that is yet to be made into a suit, or an OC of a notable furry that overall not planing or the owner is not plannuing to be made into a suit. It wouldn't be just those the fandon call "popufurs", but those that seem to have a beastlike, violent and/or warrior like gimmick. I know from reading from a journal, my friend The Dog Father, Al CaBone thought of an idea simmilar to that except that it is a furry version of Celebrity Death Match. And it's a web claymation cartoon. With my idea of this video game the name for it is either Furkken or Furkachi. I imagen that you could play it as one on one, tag as in a 2 on 2 or just a handicap. My argonian scalesona would be in this roster of course because I'm an argonian warrior. But others I think that are suitable for this is of course Al CaBone, my other best friend in the furry fandom Angel the Cosmic Warrior, Zabu the Sergal, JTigerclaw, Katalina, 2 The Ranting Griffin, both of the Long brothers (Tien and Quin), Rinn, Hayroshi Nightdragon, Sai'raks the Argonian, Sniper, Xander, Flash Hound, etc. Maybe more. Map wise, would be like Guitar Hero but the arenas would be mostly notable furry conventions like Anthrocon, MFF, FWA, Confurgence, Arizona Fur Con, FurDU, etc. Some are just fictional places that are big in the fandom like as in Zootopia. This is just an idea of a cool fighting game that revolve in the furry comunity. What do you all think of this idea? Who else would you want to play as in a game like this or should be in this hypoythetical roster?

In case you may not have noticed recently, last Saturday morning (last Friday night for most of my watchers) I was on Omegle for  furryweekendomegle. And I kid you not, I had fun doing that some of you. I got a couple more furs watching me on Fur Affinity because of it. You know who you are because you were there. And again if you one of my new watchers I must say I deep down in my heart thank you so damn much. I solely appreciate each and every one of you watching me. I love having your support as much as I do for most of your nice looking fursuits. I also got a now subscriber to my channel on YouTube with is now currently 22 subscribers along side with 83 watchers on my FA.
I don't know what I want to do one I reach 100 watches. Perhaps a character raffle or a special of my video of some sort as a thanks for the support you bring me.
The reason I chose to do this on a Satdy is that I'm thinking with the majority of the world, is a Friday night. I know that most furries suit up on that one day of the week and that's I know why it is normally called "Fursuit Friday". Like it's some sort of weekly tradition in the fandom.
For those who want to see me as Umbreon but didn't even get a chance to, I am so deeply sorry. I would automatically presumed that I was going to meet at least  FlashHound there. But it's all good! No matter who you are, I do enjoy hanging out with you via Omegle. I do enjoy your shenanigans. You all made me smile and LOL by doing that. I know I was wearing the Head most of the time and you for sure can't see through it. But inside Umbreon's head, I was sure smiling. Also those that were there noticed that I was either typing slow or it's fucked up. Sorry about that as I also was wearing his handpaws. IDK how fursuiters could manage to type clearly with the handpaws.
So that is the parts of the Pokemon I was wearing. Just the head and handpaws. I also wanted to do this in fullsuit but without the feet but unfortunately I didn't. For many valid reasons.
1. The wether here in Newcastle was too hot and humid for me to manage to do that. But ironically I was wearing a black long sleave shirt and a black singlet to create a close enough illusion of being in fullsuit.
2. On this same day I was doing this, I also have a soccer game to go to with my brother and some of you may know that he won't let me be seen with him in public with me in fursuit. I know I'd love to and enjoy leaving home to go somewhere in fursuit but my family don't want to be seen with Umbreon nor any of my characters. Period. I know I'm currently trying to save up money to travel to a furry convention and/or to have Bruzo made into a either a partial or another fullsuit. And it ain't easy. Trust me.
Even being on FWO as I am, I'd much rather go to an actual convention or meet being on that as it is a much better experience when it comes to meeting and hanging out with other fuzzbutts and scalies. But I know going to such things cost money. Most of which I feel I don't have enough of ATM to go to such.
But if you want to meet and talk to other furries and show your costume to other furries or want a reason at least wear your fursuit. You have no money to go to a con. And what makes it worse if you live in a town that has no cons or meets where you're encouraged to wear and make use of your own fursuit, I recommend FWO as an option. If you haven't been in that even yet for any reason, do yourself a favour and buy a webcam and go on it on the dates that are advertised on for whatever date the time zone it caters to.
If you haven't been trust me. It has been an awesome experience for me. But don't just take my word for it. You will make new friends and have more of a huge demographic watching you if you on whatever furry site or follow you in social media do so in fursuit.

I just don't get it with my own real life family. I mean I get it now. I'm the only furry in it. And the rest of my family is so against this fandom I'm in that vertually 1. They don't want me their own son and brother in their shadow in a fursuit. As if I do they get pissed off and then they abandon me. Even if it's a day nor event that is apropriate for that. I.e. Pokemon 20 nor I guess even Halloween. 2. Even if I have or even if I seem to have a slightest clue to them mentioning furry related things, they abuse the fuck out of me. Even if my youngest nor anyone talk this sort of thing into it and I respond to it, like I do I get into shit. And he for one is being a total bitch about it. The main fucking one. I tried to be respectful to them with that rule my parents set about this thing. But they need to be repectful and accepting of me as a furry. Not just as the human they see in their image. The fact that i'm a part of this minority group. This one time Mum threatened to burn my umbreon costume if I brought this fandom up. This very and only real fursuit I have. Thank fuck there is no new real damage to it as she didn't. But if she actually did, she'll owe me money to comission me a new one of Bruzo at least and I will do whatever it takes to make her pay for it. But now my family is puting me through so much fucking stress, I suffer headaces, gut problems and even more depresion as the time before I even have a suit. This stress is getting to me so intencly that that the only cure for it is resulting in taking a solo vacation somewhere to have some time away from this shit. Considering that I love fusuiting that much, I prefer somewhere for some event that is encouragable to do so. I mean this is the reason I so badly needing to fly to the next comming convention somewhere in the world so I could do what I love doing. Going out fursuiting again and making people instead of just myself happy. Just be there mainly to hang out and meet other furs, going on walks and pannels in suit perhaps. I'm use to solo suiting. And I enjoy it. But until I go to such event I'm like "grrrrr"! :angry:

I was going to make an announcement about a new group page I made up on Fur Affinity dedicated mainly my fellow argonians for them to join and find each other on and other furs who like us as a species. Which is  ArgoniansofFA. But instead I need to have this both a rant of how awesome it is to actually go to a game as a freelance mascot but at the some time the literal shit I coped from a particular non fur friend.
You all know by now that I wanted to be out somewhere in a fursuit, and with no money for even travel to the next coming furry/ costume convention in Australia I know called FurDU. I resorted to want to go out public suiting. I ended up deciding to go to the Newcastle Jets vs. Western Sydney Wanderers yesty arvo in my Pokémon fursuit. Newcastle was the home team. And I didn't go to the game just as a normal Jets supporter. I went there freelancing as a mascot. And in my will.
Ha, not like it's possibly the first time someone dress up as a mascot of a Pokémon at a soccer game. Pikachu, a mascot for the Japanese national football team in the period of the 2014 FIFA World Cup.
My parents advised me against doing it as I'm going to be forced by security to take the entire suit off revealing nothing but my under armour and eventually be arrested for indecent exposure. Thank fuck the prophecy my mum told me before I went out in the suit didn't happen. Instead the security helped me in as I got a season pass with me on a lanyard.
So lets rewind before I left my home to drive to the game wearing the bodysuit and my jets jersey. The way I felt as I woke up was still low level of disappointment over the fact that the Knights which is my other team I follow passionately in the NRL played like so shit they lost to South Sydney by around 40 points the previous afternoon.
But fast forward to the time I arrived to Hunter Stadium. I felt a bit anxious because I fear the negatives towards me by the public. I parked my car at the car park near the venue. But not only that but I literally drove to the stadium all the way from my house taking with me the entire suit of my Umbreon but wearing the bodysuit and the jersey like a cosplay within a cosplay. I meant to resemble a anthropomorphic shiny umbreon cosplaying as a soccer fan. To bring more fuel to the fire, I had no handler what so ever. I had to be my own handler. The reason I did this is to make up for the weekend that is appropriate to be out on my suit but I didn't because my parents refused to even take me to the train station to catch a train to Gosford to in time for the F3 Darby.
I could've however if I really wanted to go to a fursuit outing that desperately, and that is within my budget, I could find contact to whom it my concern that is organising the  OzFurs float for the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras and sign up to be in it out of interest. But I didn't find contact to the admin of OzFurs in time to sign up for it. Maybe I could've find myself in Sydney at the time suiting with other furries there in the parade with other notable Australian suiters like but not limited to  pocariroo. I been beating myself over not signing up for that spot. I wouldn't care if it would be with any of my favourite Australian fursuiters, I would go for the pleasure of going out in fursuit. Also on the plus side I could be more safe doing it as I beat there will be handlers assisting the furs. I'm also aware the this event is mainly for the LGBT community but even though I'm straight, it's not like I'm a homophobe so I don't mind the event. But I didn't fucking sign up to go on this float or even be part of the parade.
That is the other reason I decided to go to the game in fursuit.
Once I did get out of my car I did some last minute preparation's like as in putting rest of the suit on as in the head, feet and hand paws. Took my scarf, backpack, lanyard with season ticket, walked the rest of the way to the stadium. On my way from my car to the ground I received mixed reaction by the fans of both teams. Mainly wondering about I being hot in the suit but I could say, well not really but I'm only sweating in it. Only because I trained my human body to adapt to the conditions wearing the fullsuit. That is what fullsuiters do right?
As I arrived at the venue itself, I still received mixed reactions, some negative and some positive got pictures taken in suit pre game as I got approached by fellow soccer fans. I finally arrived at the Jets active support (Squadron) area fully equipped with the necessaries I needed. With other shit a soccer fan would have.
I was becoming more comfortable being a Pokémon within large group of humans or non suiters. I was still cheering for my team but like a sports mascot normally would at a game. Did some mascot like antics behind the goals and in front of the screen. Some of the kids love me being this character. And I must admit. Despite I am my own handler and girls petting me which is nice. I adore that feeling. And I tried my best at being affectionate to the people back a like Pokémon normally would. I must admit, it is awesome. To that I must thank  TwilightSaint for giving me enough courage I feel what is needed to go out in public without a handler. Especially as a freelance sports mascot like I was. You if you read this are an all over 100% awesome person who is very understanding to the problems other furs like me face ATM.

There are some downsides to my first outings I must vent my frustration on. I know we lost 1-0 to the Wanderers but that wasn't the main thing that angers me. I was disappointed yes about that result but even though I prefer them to win, I'm happy they at least improved in the second half but they were lacking in the 1st half. It didn't anger me as much because both teams were at their best despite in Western Sydney's behalf they got a couple of bookings they deserved, Surprisingly no reds. As a matter of fact WSW in my view deserved that win. What really angers me the most is the disrespect and torment off some of the fellow Jets fans including one who non fur who meant to be my friend. He was pulling my tail that I put my blood and sweat into making it and finding a way to attach into the bodysuit. My backpack I was wearing trying to put me and my costume at harms way, pulling my head towards my human face like he is trying to completely ruin it to a point it's unwearable and I had to unnecessarily had to ruin the magic to find this dickhead. Well not that unnecessary as there was no headless lounge I could go to but more than I normally need to. To the security I am just a fan that has no other link to the club besides being a paying member that decides to freelance as Pokémon.
I was getting annoyed but I tried my hardest not to lash out at anyone. But this constant blindsiding that I received wearing the thing. I had no awareness what so ever about the perp doing this to my as all fursuiters from their own experiences know I have very limited vision. I had even written a very brief and clear set of rules to I need the other fans to follow for my own safety in and of the suit as well as their own around me on the Jets fan group site on Facebook. This friend of mine ruined this experience for me by doing completely opposite to those rules I set by harassing me without me knowing. I expect the RBB doing that to me as they are notorious for stating shit at soccer games but they are very nice people that showed great sportsmanship. They even asked me nicely to have there photo taken with me in the suit. I'm talking about the group of Wanderers fans. They call me Mascot which I don't mind because that's what I was and they weren't bothered that I was there supporting the opposition. hehe!
But with that same person who harassed me. He didn't leave me alone. I was walking out of the stadium with the head off despite all the awe and positive comments I got off the majority of the public which I love receiving and is so welcoming to me in doing this again this same asshole decided that without warning and even asking me took a photo of me being headless in my suit which is to me and most other suiters, the utter most disrespectful and awful thing done to them. Especially plastering that picture taken of them being headless in social media. Especially without the suiters permission . Period!

I know this journal would less likely put me in as a guest of honour at a furry convention but this story is worth me talking about in a panel hosted by the online ambassador of black marsh, me. Bruzo.

Through playing Elder Scrolls online, I learned something about my species according to the lore of the game. I know that there is a hist tree in every argonian tribe and piece of land that are occupied by the saxhleel. I know that the tree itself is said to recycle the souls of the deceased argonians through it's sap. That is why the tree itself is a secret to my fursona's species. Hell I once made a video educating my knowledge about the hist.
But there is something that intrigues me about this reptilian race. Because it is believed that the hatchlings need to drink the sap from the very tree they are actually born, not only nested underneath to retrieve their soul.
It is also believed according to the lore that if there are no hist tree the argonian will as prophesied to be extinct or wiped from existence. I failed to mention that in my video educating about the hist as the reason why the elders are that much over protective of the hist tree.
But based on the backstory of Bruzo I figured based on the fact that as my sona,
1.I have not tasted the hist sap until I at least reached my young adulthood.
2.I was artificially incubated as an egg by a hargraven after being adopted mistakenly as a dragon egg by a family of dragon kin which are humans that ride and befriend dragons. And raised as an adoptive son the way he should from birth. Not as a slave like most other adopted argonian hatchlings.
I had came to a conclusion that even if Bruzo dose have the anatomy, biology, appearance and basic abilities of a normal argonian. But spiritually, originally not of the saxhleel (argonian) race. As that it is said that I need to have a natural birth underneath the very tree I was nested. And have drunk it's sap straight after I hatched out of the egg of this very tree.

Now Segway from that topic and onto the next. Based on my recent findings of Fur Affinity I noticed a couple of Pokémon related fursuit accounts. For example I noticed a couple of Charizard ones including the one I gave a watch to which is  MegaCharizardX which is literally of someone fursuiting as a mega evolved Charizard of Pokémon X version. A couple of Lucario fursuiters. But as I found, no fursuit accounts of any shiny Pokémon nor Eeveelution. Not even of an Eevee. So ATM, seeing that I do enjoy having a suit of both a shinny Pokémon and an Eeveelution apart from finding other saxhleel in FA to collaborate with in making a group page on FA for my main speicies as part of duty as an online ambassador of Black Marsh. I might in the future make another personal fursuit account for my Umbreon. It's not an official decision but playing with the idea.

It all started just yesty morning. I was up bright and early. Had a shower and instead of putting on my usual clothes I put on to go to a game, I decided to put on Umbreon because I wanted to not only go to the F3 darby which is a local darby between my team, Newcastle Jets vs. the team I personally despise which Central Coast Mariners in Gosford, NSW. But because yesty marks 2 decades since the Pokémon franchise started to be known publically to the world I wanted to do so as this shiny Pokémon. Like killing 2 birds 1 stone and combining the 2 things I love or at least I would love. Football (Soccer) and romping around in a fursuit. And I do admit that even though the place and time is normally ain't appropriate but all I give a shit about is the date itself is appropriate to do that.
With the fullsuit on and carrying the head I walked downstairs in the living room and the first reaction I got is mum saying to me "You ain't going to wear that at the game!" I responded saying to her "To hell, I'm not!" It resulted to an argument between both me and mum then dad joined in to Mum's corner.
They refuse to take me anywhere even to the train station to catch the train to the game itself wearing a fursuit. Trying to blackmail me to reconsider. I told them and they admitting to and know themselves I won't have enough money invested in time to pay for my car insurance and to attend FurDU. I know it. So I need and so desperate to want to go fursuiting to a point I result to want to take risks. I guess that Pokémon 20 isn't a validated excuse for it according to my family. I can't even afford a Taxi as I want to have lunch and a beer in the pub pre-game.
I really don't want to take my costume off for anyone nor my plans be fucked up from the like of anyone. My baby brother got against me on this idea. And he is wearing a Liverpool FC jersey. I said in the dying minutes of this drama "Fine. Just so you could make it easier for me to go to the train station and have some form of enough income in my bank account to do have what I want before the game I will take this thing off but I wanted Lachlan to change out of that stupid jersey. Normally, I'm cool and use to having a Liverpool fan as a brother even though out of the EPL, I'm also a Manchester United supporter. But I just want to put my point out. *sigh*
I frustration I striped out of Umbreon in my room, put on my clothes but then I had still had to convince dad to take me as I was wearing normal clothes with just a scarf, hat and Jets Jersey. I was so pissed off. Something I been dying to do but no allowed to even though I have an actual suit I can romp around in as a fursuiter but my perants won't let me. Like hello, Ground control to Major Tom. I should be inclined to make use of the suit and to use it I need to be inside it. It is a fursuit. Yes it is an art piece to have in a room but to it meant to be worn by a person. Then it will be a living artwork. This suit got given to me for a reason and that is to actually experience as long as possible as a real life fursuiter.
I put my body and health at risk to adapt to the conditions inside a fullsuit. Including but not limited to driving in a very stinking hot day in the car willingly with no AC on and windows up. I tried to follow the 621 rule, I took great care of the suit like it's my baby. So what else the fuck I need to do to go out in fursuit that I can be able to do? This is fucked. I should be and am my own person.
Oh, I travelled all the way to Gosford and spent time in a pub in a very filthy mood. So pissed off that the only way to put me in a better mood is the result I came there for. Jets to win against Mariners. Which they did 1-0. I did smiled to that as I was in a better mood. I know the Mariners are doomed to be wooden spooners this season but I quite frankly don't give a fuck. I know there ain't furs out their who ain't CCM fans on FA but if there is, I'm sorry but that's the way I am.

As you know, I had made a video using a web cam I normally use to make it that lasted around 16 minutes. And if you watch my videos it normally structured as Intro, talking about what the video is abot and sometimes doing the thing in question if it's a challenge video, describing where you will find me in Elder Scroll Online, textbook youtuber shit and the end quote of myself saying let the hist gude you all.
And like some furry youtubers I made a title card that I put in my gallery on Fur Affinity which may seem to lack artistic integrity. But I only want it to represent what my videos intended to be about. Including this peice of shit one I made for my most resent video I made of me asking questions to my future self. Hopefully it would be anwered by me as my intended argonian fursona and it won't be gimicky. I got the idea from watching a video of  Summertime do it both as his human self and as  Majira. 1 for each form of himself.
I thought it would be a good method to set and stick to goals I set for myself. Sorry if I gone Kanye West on you all. I hope it won't cause you to unsub to my YouTube Channel. I intent to at least get more then 20 subscribers to my channel. Please subscribe to my YouTube channel if you haven't already as I do make my videos for you guys. Not just for myself.
But then I uploaded this video and as it's uploading, the stupid computer stoped uploading at 82% with the suposed aprox time left at 22 minutes. But the thing that it remained like that at around 4 or 5 hours. Or at least until mum impatiently made me to pull the plug on the uploading

To all my supporters. As much that Valentines day is the least of my focus of this month as that I'm single. I don't have anyone to mate with. Not IRL nor even on ESO. And personally usually, I bahumbug this special occasion only because I'm single. Not only that but it's too comercialised.
But that don't mean I won't say this in this journal at all:
To all those who watch me on Fur Affinity and subscribed to my channel on YouTube. I deep down in my heart do consider you as my friends. Some of you friended me on Facebook I apreciate and welcome that. Weither you are single like me or engaged to someone else, I do only for this dayconsider each and everyone weither you watched me or in the future as my valentines. Most likely out of friendship only. So to my friends on FA and YouTube, I wish each and everyone of you have a happy and awesome valentines day! I love each and every one of you no matter what spieces you are. No matter of your nationality, gender, sex preferance or whatever!

Apparently yesterday for those who ain't aware, there was a monthly cosplay convention I was told about though a group page on Facebook I could've attend as Umbreon. Sadly for me, I missed it. As I was too focused on going to a Newcastle Jets home game against the one team that are currently owned By Manchester City Football club, Melbourne City. This cosplay convention BTW takes place in Parramatta which west of Sydney which is like I said before, a long drive from my hometown lasting 2 hours on the M1 alone. I kicked my own ass for not attending this convention I was informed about. That could've been my only legitimate excuse to be on a fursuit outing. But I decided to go to a game in Hunter Stadium where at first, the odds are against the team I was rooting for according to the betting companies. I'm a huge Newcastle Jets fan TBH for the record. And to make it worse, they lost to Adelaide United I remember 6-0 the previous week. That made me as a soccer fan disappointed in my own team with that result.

As disappointed as I am for not going to Parramatta on this same day, let alone not going to this match as a freelance mascot. Just a textbook human supporter of a certain Football club with just a scarf and wearing a team jersey. But made a lot of noise for me team as I'm in the active supporters area like any passionate fan of the round ball game would do. I feel that fate had rewarded me that the Jets did awesome enough to beat City 2-1. Instead of feeling pissed off about willingly deciding to go to a local but national soccer match between the 2 teams instead of going all that way to Sydney just so I can be in fursuit I was joyful. It felt some kind of rewarding just to be at that game when my favourite team won. To hell with being in fursuit that day!

I still am dying to go to an outing in a fursuit and knowing there is a legit reason to go out of my home in my only fursuit coming up this month and I know I don't need to wait any longer for that to happen. On the count it's this month. I'm talking about the 20th Anniversary of the release of the first gen Pokémon games. Thus starting the series and cooperate empire of Pokémon. I decided to make up for it is not only the omegle stream I'm planning on doing. But seeing that the F3 darby game falls on the weekend of that celebration. For those who ain't familiar with the Australian soccer or A-league, the F3 Darby is a local rivalry between my team and Central Coast Mariners which are a team based in the central coast of NSW. This game will take place in a town located there called Gosford which is an hour to an hour and a half drive from my home. And IDK if I decide to drive there or catch a train but either way, to celebrate this special occasion I will go to that game to show support for Newcastle Jets. And I decided to be there in fursuit as of course a Pokémon and to be technical, of course as Umbreon and I will be damned if I don't get to do both of what I wanted to do this very weekend.

I just want to have a bit of a vent of my frustration towards people calling me by my real name whilst I was doing a bit of a rant video I was going to upload on YouTube. Something about how frustrated I was at some person who I know nothing about and didn't watch me here on Fur Affinity.
As you know, I uploaded a reference sheet I was doing for some other furry as a secret Santa late last year. Then in my birthday some dickhead bitched right in the comment under this work I did about the way I made this reference sheet like I have any other option then how I did this curtain piece of art.
He requested me to delete it off my own gallery for some stupid reason. I replied under his comment some form of logic of the reason I did it this way but he still blackmailing me to wipe it off. I stood my ground and he still argued to me about my work to a point he just winged and tattled to the head honcho of this site just to have the majority of my art deleted off my gallery against my control and will. This included some of the art I did for me friends and my own character reference sheet for Bruzo. I was so angered that I felt like giving him the abuse I feel he deserves. But lucky for him, he decided to put his tail between his legs like a coward he is and blocked me.
About a month later, I was recording a rant about this incident after I ended up reloading my main OC's fursuit ref sheet back onto my gallery on FA. Yes I was loud, and I do admit I was recording this video late at night when the rest of my family was asleep. Yes it was foolish of me to but at the same time I was expressing my anger to this person. Besides, That's what people do when they pissed off, am I right?
Mum then yelled from upstairs did what any human would do in this situation while I was recording my rant told me to shut up. Fine I don't blame her as I was loud but what pissed me off is that she called me by my real name. Not my youtuber/fur name which is Bruzo. That is the 1 thing I enforce you don't do. You can bomb into the recordings of my videos because I tolerate it but yell out my real name is like a thing I can't tolerate. You can call me all you want on my Facebook and IRL if you know me well and long enough. As long I don't take offence to it. But even thought I make my videos for you and in the future I let you decide about what you want me to address on anything that matters to you wither it furry or not as eventually I will run out of ideas on what content to bring up. Hell, I would let you be a star in some of my content. Like recording my Omegle streams with you. But I feel I need to set my ground rules on things because I need to have some form of control of my videos. And the only way I reveal my real name is in my terms. Same with this account. Even as far as Fur Affinity is concerned, my name is Bruzo Dragonius. Same as on YouTube. I just can't stress this enough and for future reference.

Apart from writing logs about my life as a furry like I do in majority of my journals on Fur Affinity, I notice that the votes between the 2 options I have provided are still 50/50. Instead of even being official about what I'm doing for you as thanks for watching me and supporting me even in my bad time I had in the past. And to do that I'm willing to give you all my watchers some democratic power to choose and I'm doing the most unamonous of these options. But either way. If you choose to vote in this poll and if I didn't go with what you chose don't think it dosn't count because it so doese. But weither or not you choose to vote is up to you.
if you friended me on Facebook and if I know you haven't voted I messaged you about it already.
To vote out of an Omegle stream or a raffle please click the link below an then click next on the box next to the option you like the most. Voting is due by Chinese New Year.

Last Sunday I went to the Newcastle Jets home soccer (football) match against Wellington Phoenix. It was about as I remembered temperature wise in Celsius, mid 20's. And overcast. Now I arrived at Hunter Stadium pretty much after the women's match against Brisbane Roar. To be precise, I think I arrived at the ground at around 4.45pm .
I met with a best human (non furry) friend of mine at the active support section as per usual.
And the first thing I remember him saying, is "where's you Pokémon costume?" By that he means my fursuit. Obviously! As that late last year, I posted on Facebook on the Facebook fan group page I posted some status regarding on peoples opinions of me going to the game and supporting my team as a freelance mascot as Umbreon. Also once I received that Pokémon full fursuit, I announced about it also on YouTube in a form of a suiting up video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZuqzbs9JaM&index=3&list=PLK0k6UgGR5OwnaocwRvxLKvlrNzziCZ25) and posted this link to my Facebook. Also that was a first soccer game I attended to ever since I officially became a fursuiter and completed the suit. Well I only made Umbreons tail.
I responded with "At home. I can't seem to find a handler to got to the game with me. Besides, I was watching video's on Youtube that advised not to wear a costume like that without a handler!" Which is true. It's a fucking real fursuit. Not some cheap factory made Halloween costume you buy from the shops in plastic wrapping. If you have a fursuit which some of my watchers already have you know that a handler meant to be there for protection of the suiter and the costume itself. Also I failed to mention that it was supposed to rain that day and I was a bit worried, about fursuiting out in the rain. at a stadium that has hardly any shelter in the bottom bays where the Squadron watches the game from now. But it didn't. And it was medically appropriate fullsuiting weather for any, even the most experienced suiter like Telephone. That fucked me right up. Me missing out of the womens game was nothing compared to the weather especially if I had a handler with me.
But the main thing that cheers me right up by a lot is not only Newcastle finally scored a goal to fuck up their own what could've been otherwise the longest scoreless streak of A-league history. Which I do like. But actually had beaten Wellington 3-1. I knew that my team are the odds on favourite to win that game and I'm happy that they proved bookies rights.
As with looking for some outings I could go as a shiny Umbreon, posted a status on the Make a Wish Australia Facebook page advertising myself as a volunteer to grant Pokémon related wishes like if the medically ill kid wishes to be a Pokémon trainer in real life. And as Umbreon I could entertain that kid and if another Pokémon fursuiter is there with me, we could LARP a bit of a Pokémon battle. Potentially the kid in question could battle the non suited volunteered handler or whatever.
Also besides playing with the idea of going to  FurDU this year, I was posting statuses on FB out of Curiosity of wither  FurJam is on this year in case I'm financially unable to attend FurDU. Because as you I live interstate to where FurDU and  Confurgence are as well as  RivFur. 2 out of 3 of these are at a same state as each other.
FurJam is most likely the cheapest furcon that's in Sydney which as transport. I live only 2 hours drive north of that con. I'm looking for cheaper way of attending cons in regards to mainly flights and accommodation. Interstate conventions in terms of car related payments and saving for this other fursuit I'm intending to one day get of my main sona that is not even a Pokémon. But let me rest assure you. I can finally stick to my promise I made to myself and that is not to attend full duration of a con unsuited. So if you spot a shiny Umbreon, with a con badge with the name "Bruzo Dragonius" at any of these cons, that is defiantly me. And I'm talking about any convention. Perhaps I might make a badge up to suit myself as an argonian fursuiting as Umbreon before FurDU. Maybe to resemble the theme to this years FurDU as I learned which is Cartoons.
Apart from the cons and if I still can't make these, instead of waiting for FurJam or EB Expo (whatever comes first) I'm thinking of going to the Jets interstate game against Brisbane and stay there or arrive in time for a fur meet my angel dragon friend over there  ~Pompeii~ goes to every Tuesday to meet up with her. Called South Brisbane Fur Meet. But as you would know that is the 2 reasons of why a would be at Brisbane at anytime. I like to do things at the same place to kill 2 birds with one stone even if it takes up to a week between the 2 intentions. So if you are at SBFM and if you do spot a fursuiter of a shiny Umbreon, that is most likely me in that suit.
There's some more ideas I could come up with for myself to go outside in fursuit but there are some that I don't bother to mention at this time.

It's been now a month since I received Umbreon and thus I now been a fursuiter for around that time. I purchased the most of the stuff I need to look after my suit. I made the part that went missing in the arrival of my Pokémon fursuit using the things I have laid around in the house. The tail. and at first I made it of plastic shopping and garbage bags and mostly packaging tape. Purchased my own glue gun originally to at least try and repair his head which I did attempted at least. Then I used the glue to seal the stuffing into the garbage bag I use for it's tail and use the remaining plastic bags to get some more shape I wanted for it.
Was going to pant it as is but then a non fur friend of mine advised me against it as it won't mate it visually blend into the suit and look a bit tacky. So the next best thing is I went to Spotlight. Spent about give or take as I remember $30 - $40 Australian for the fur I used for it which is 3 rolls of pre cut black fur and a metre of blue just for the rings for his tail. I'm not going to explain in detail of how I made Umbreons tail as I explained it in a video on YouTube. But I could say that I ended up installing the tail into the bodysuit after all by gluing it after I sewed the button clips on both the body and the tail.
Anyhow I do know the feeling of finally having your first fursuit and wanting to just be out in public in it or what we furries call going out fursuiting. I'm as I predicted wanting to be make use of the suit. Like I fully want this experience still. But the problem is besides the one of my watchers and another I'm watching on FA, I didn't know of any other furries living in my home region. I remember on my birthday as I was talking to The Dog Father himself, Al Cabone, I told him of this conundrum I'm having. I do credit him on the idea of his which was starting up a fur con in Newcastle as I know there is no such thing as even a fur meet nor a fursuiting group that is based anywhere in the Hunter that I could be a part of. But I find it illogical and too much work in organising those type of things. Plus I don't want to do it just for my sake as it I categorise as being selfish or too self centred. Otherwise whats the use? How do I know of other fursuiters in my home town besides myself. I'm not counting mascots based there like Big Dog. He's just a costumed character of some local kids show turned mascot for a free to air TV station in Australia. Plus he got payed to dress up in that costume.
I begged to almost every member of my family that would it be ok if I be around you as Umbreon as most fursuiters advised against solo suiting in public for some reason be it vision or whatever. Even if in your first furry convention which is the most welcoming event for fursuiters is their costumes. Everybody in the fandom knows that.
My other friend  Chozowarrior by now had been to  Confurgence which had been over and fuck I wished I went and I don't care if I had to book flights to Melbourne which is a city at a state I never had step foot at thus not familiar to it. I foolishly talked her into spending the weekend of the con as I call "a Pokémon" trainer of mine while and if I were an Umbreon in that event. I mean like I said other fursuiters or furrys in general do advised in safety reasons to not go in fursuit without an unsuited human handler no matter if you either a silent nor talking fursuiter. Fuck I wished that I have the money to go to Confurgence. Chozo could be my trainer or fursuit handler if you will for those ain't familiar with Pokémon. But Chozo and others who are at Melbourne for Confurgence reading this, I hope you have a good time down there as I wish I were there myself.
I could wait until my parents invite me to go out somewhere with them or my brothers and if I weren't driving, put my underarmour on and then become Umbreon myself but if I do I tend to be an embarrassment to my entire family. For what? Nothing but doing something I want to do and as what I want to be? A fursuiter? I don't understand how embarrassing I am strutting as a Pokémon to them. If anyone should feel embarrassed it should be my and ha, I would never be embarrassed because why? Because I would be dressing in something I love to dress in. My entire family is so against the furry family and they have trouble coping with having an eldest son and brother being a furry and later on being a fursuiter in public no matter if I'm Bruzo nor Umbreon. Believing that this entire community is a sex colt. But I know it ain't all just. Their are some yiffers that I don't know and that is a part of the community I wish I still don't know about. But yiffing and to have sex is far from being a reason I wanted to be a fursuiter. If I want to fuck, I do it as a human. Not dressed up in a fursuit of either Bruzo nor Umbreon nor any other of my characters.
I planed to go to sporting games like I said in fursuit like an unofficial freelance mascot for both my sporting teams. Starting at my hometown to spread awareness of this community and cheer on my teams. Sort of like what the Dog Father dose in Tuff Pro Wrestling but at a different type of sporting event and it's also a case of killing 2 birds with 1 stone.
I advertised myself on various pages on Facebook looking to see if anyone who is starting a complete Eevee group I could be a part of for a cosplaying convention I don't care if it's too far from me. If you are a fan of Pokémon, you could know what I mean by an Eevee group and that's great if you do but if you don't know about this type of group, Google it.
I also advertise myself as a volunteer fursuiter for Make a Wish in the event of needing assistance of granting Pokémon related wishes like wanting to be a Pokémon Trainer in real life.
I mean I could wait for Halloween or for a con that I could easily make it to like EB Expo I just can't. I want to go to at least a con earlier than that like  FurDU in the Gold Coast at least but it ain't cheap to fly and have accommodation there at the same time and as is I'm saving for my car payments to be finished and then paying for Bruzo to be made into a fursuit most likely by ATM  Plus3Defense if they open for commissions but as I know unfortunately not yet.
I don't know what else to do TBH. I wouldn't mind going out solo suiting around my suburb as I can see surprisingly well out of Umbreons eyes and I'm near desperate to want to go fursuiting enough to want to do that but the thing is people in my area will end up most likely get the wrong idea of my fursuiting solo and most likely get bashed for being different to them. And if it weren't for me get badly hurt but fear my suit that saved me from this demon which is called fursuit envy will be even more damaged. And that is not near what I want it to end up as because my shiny Umbreon is my first and only real fursuit until I have my fursona suit. I can't just give him away as he is such. I don't know what else to do. I can't say that's it. Wither you voted or not I decide on having an Omegle stream and if you vote on the raffle, you don't count because it's unfair and that proves I'm not sticking to my words.
I don't want to get rid of Umbreon but I can't wait for an opportunity to go fursuiting safely for both myself and Umbreon.

For my friends who watch me on FA or at least you viewed my user page. You know at the first time you read this is now NYE for the whole majority of the world. And to be quite frankly, marked officially the 26th anniversary of my birth. I can't help it but being joyful of the art some of you given to me as presents. They in their own ways looks great.
Like I said before on my previous journal about my birthday being in New Years Eve. Especially the festivities of New Years Eve bring. I was like "Bahumbug" to this festival. Because I wanted a day to just celebrate and dedicated to the day I hatched. Some of you wished me a happy birthday wether on Skype, Facebook or on Fur Affinity. And still being a new years baby lizard it does suck because the majority of my friends who ain't neighbours of mine are too busy out drinking and celebrate this year ending and next year starting. A complete year without an apocalypse. I had no real birthday party because of it. And I'm upset every year.
But at least I was bombarded with birthday wishes wish my friends and rellos every NYE and more so on Facebook and even more so on this site and Skype. But before I had Facebook I had only phone calls mainly from my relatives wishing me a happy birthday.
I have had shit times this year in my life like my entire family going against me emotionally because of my fursuit envy. And great times like finally being given a fullsuit by a generous person to call as my own. And finally putting on this fursuit of Umbreon and recording this for YouTube. But without my Shiny Umbreon I was so depressed because he is my first real fursuit. He is the first real fursuit I put on in my entire life. I won't give a damn of what it's of and if my parents or any of my family is cool with me being around them as Umbreon. I will be even more happy. But no none of them would let me. And there's the thing. I live in a non fur friendly suburb. And I would love to go fursuiting in public. Like I have the funds to go to a fur con or any meet in Newcastle and I want to go out in a fursuit but having no-one to volunteer as handler, how can I do it safely. Or in my case, act and roleplay as my Pokémon trainer as Umbreon. But I put this as my New Years resolution for myself. To find any reason to put on my umbreon costume like freelancing as a mascot for my favourite sporting teams and going to conventions at least in Australia or only NSW as I don't have the money to go to cons where I can dress up or some street festival or event that is costume friendly. Or a place in public that is fursuit friendly. I would loved to go to some international ones like Anthrocon but the way my finances are at the moment, that is just pushing beyond my budget. Especially as is I'm trying to balance my car related payments and my other goal I set myself as a new years resolution, to have my main fursona, Bruzo to be made at least a partial. So ATM, I'm most likely focusing on going to cons in NSW and if I can in Australia like FurDU and Confurgence which is interstate to me.

The text ^ in bold are so far some of the new years resolution I have set for myself. The others I set for myself are as follows:
To have Umbreon's tail remade-ATM, its a works in progress and it's getting made by me.
To get a job that pays money
To get my full drivers licence-I know that in America, there's no such thing as L and P plates but here in Australia but I know over there, there is a such thing as a learners permit we in Australia rate as the L plate, then red P's and then Green P's. I'm on Green P's thus I'm not on my Full licence yet even though from my reds I am entitled to drive a car independently

Anyway as teary I am writting this. Thank you to some and in advance to the rest of you making this an awesome birthday for me and I know that today is the day 2015 had came to an end. Let's make 2016 more better for all of us and until my next journal, By the hist, I wish each and every one of you a happy and positive new year!

I know this isn't the time I normally make new journals but recently I was forced having a hiatus from the computer as punishment for things that I prefer not to mention as it's family matters. For the first part of this journal I was going to write about this the day I received this thing to wear for what I was dyeing to be able to do. But writing about this without a computer would be too damn awkward as I'm only active on fur affinity using my smart phone. But I'm back on the computer now.

Finally a Fursuiter
This is the announcement I am so dying make as I am so fucking happy this has happened to me
Last Sunday this generous fursuit maker I had friended on Facebook had gone all this way from Sydney, along the M1 to my house just to deliver a fursuit that I could keep as my own for free. And of course, it turns out as a shiny Umbrion and as a bonus it's a plantigrate fullsuit. The same type of fursuit I originally wanted for my main fursona to be made as where money is no issue.
Now if you are familiar with traveling from Sydney, Australia to my hometown of Newcastle especially along the M1 Pacific Motorway is a huge deal. Because I been to Sydney heaps of times. Trust me. The traffic is at most times are very heavy over in Sydney so it would take almost forever to even drive though most places especially in rush hour. Plus once you head north on the M1 you're looking at on average a 2 hour drive. I am so forever grateful to this person.
Just because I now own a fursuit of a completely different species doesn't mean I'm changing my fursona to be match the costume I got. I'm still on a process of saving up for my fursona suit. I'm still an argonian as well I'm still Bruzo. But on the other hand this fursuit I got had changed the way I think of life.
I mean before I have the fursuit of this particular Pokémon I admit, I thought I had the absolute worse case of fursuit envy. I was so full of it that it turned some of my non fur friend and my own family against me. All I ever thought about is wanting to put on a fursuit or anything that resemble it like being a costumed mascot. But it first came to a point of my depression. I had thought of possible ways of taking that opportunity as I never had even worn anything that even resembles a fursuit. Even worked or even dressed as a mascot. Not even worn a head and see out of it. I never knew what it's like personally to wear one. But only knew what it's like through stories current fursuiters of that time told.
And at the time some angel offered me Umbrion and seen the photos she texted me, I'm so happy that I didn't turn down that offer. I admit, it is a too good to be true offer. I bet and I'm fair dinkum saying this that if you were like me with not suiting for all your life and you are so full of fursuit envy, having absolute no idea nor equipment and materials to make a proper fursuit, having a fursuit maker turning you down because you unintentionally offended her to a point she aborted on this project you was going to commission her to make and that you get even more depressed then all of a sudden, this generous person offered you one of his or her suits as a starter for free just so you could finally become the artist you wanted to be. Which is a fursuiter. You can't even refuse this. If you didn't take this offer on the simple fact it's not your even of your species this fursuit envy and this depression will haunt you to a point you can't stop thinking about it. That's me all over!
But now seeing that I finally have one. This Umbrion suit I have helped me overcame my fursuit envy a lot. I just didn't give a fuck what species or type of fursuit I currently own, I absolutely love it, and until I get my fursona suit, I would be happy being a shiny version of an Umbrion. I love and respect this artist for offering this suit to me. Hell, I would want to got to outing's and cons as a Pokémon or an argonian. Even if it's a furcon. If you are going to a furcon and looking for another furry to come with you providing that you let me wear umbrion, I'll volunteer to come with. Oh fuck it! PLEASE TAKE ME AND UMBRION WITH YOU! As Umbrion is the only fursuit I own and I want to be at a furry con in suit. Or at least one of these where someone like  BlasterBlurby turns up to rent out his or her own fursuits to wear from his or her dealers table if you lack enough space to take both your suit and mine in the one vehicle. I been to the EB Expo only as a gamer and not a cosplayer so there is no way I'm going to a con of any sort especially a fur con in the future and unsuited.
Also to prove that I love my suit and wanting to wear it that I even brought myself some sports compression clothes or "Under Armour" like most fullsuiters and fursuit makers advised on wearing underneath the costume of this type, from K-mart for $30 including both the shirt and tights and on about buying a balaclava for me to wear underneath the head. I even care for umbrion like he's my cherished possession as much as my car. I'm even considering to be a freelance mascot of both my favourite sporting teams as an Umbron. The Newcastle Jets and that's out of the inspiration of the Blue Samurai (Japan national soccer team) once and/or currently have a Pokémon as a mascot but it was a Pikachu instead. Also one of the non furry friends on mine commented to want me to freelance suit for the Newcastle Knights Rugby League team which I'm also considering doing in fullsuit since it's usually on during the Australian winter which in a dry day would be a lot more of a better time to be in one medically. But I'm slapping a Knights jersey on Umbrion.
Link to my suiting up video in my fursuit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZuqzbs9JaM

Christmas Message
To all creatures of Fur Affinity. Considering that by now it should be Christmas day in most parts of the world by now and the time I submit this journal I wish each and every one or you and not just those who watch me on FA a happy holidays as some of you may or may not celebrate Christmas most likely for religious reasons and happy new year.
What I'm thinking as a sort of Christmas present to each and every one of you who supported me in this fandom by watching me on FA. I'm thinking of 2 ideas I want to organise for each and everyone of you and I'm giving you a chance to vote on what option you like the most. These options are either an Omegle stream where I could chat to you all wearing Umbrion or I could design an unnamed adoptable character like an argonian, dutch angel, sergal or whatever and organise a raffle to own this character.
Please vote in this link: http://strawpoll.me/6359337

Lost Money on Car Repairs
Recently this week I was experiencing car troubles. The car was pissing out coolant, there was lights on for the oil and the transmission. Also my car seemed choppy like when it idles it was shaking violently like vibrating and didn't sound like it supposed to be. As that it's a V6 and usually with naturally aspirated V6's like my car, they meant to run smoothly. Not vibrating like it did idling and it did vibrated and sounded like a tractor when it accelerated.
Thank fuck the mechanic managed to diagnose the problem, gave it a full service. Not halfassing it and finished fixing the car completely the day I brought it in. I would've thought that the problem would be fixed for cheap but more expensive than I thought. And by the severity of the problem I thought it would take at least a whole week to do all 3. Not like I was rushing him to fix it in any way.
But unfortunately the repair bill set me back as I remember $1,100. I didn't have that amount of money. As is I usually had to pay board which was usually $400 but I owed mum around $500 because of other things I owed mum money on. The thing that upset me the most about that was the money on my main account wasn't enough to cover it. I had to break into my account where with the money I mainly planned on saving on is for at least a partial of Bruzo.
As a result because that repair bill is to much all of a sudden to make a note to  FALendAHand to assist me to help me pay for it as I really didn't want to touch a single cent from this particular account. But it was too late. So instead I noted them to see wither or not they help compensate that money lost because of the result and yet to have an answer from whomever is in charge.

Defying my mums just to represent my species streaming with the cockroach
Yesterday in my time considering that I call myself the online ambassador of Black Marsh, I did some research via Google on the different time zones. And converting time accordingly so I will be there in time for it. I mean I didn't represent my argonian brothering and the Hist at Anthrocon like some others of my species. Haven't even had the funds to even pay for flights to Pittsburgh or even overseas that time. Let alone a pre made suit to wear for it. So I decided to do the next best thing. I ended up participating in the wine stream with  Kagemushi. The reason is that ever since I'm this active in the furry fandom, I learned of how much of notorious contributor to this community. I mean he is now the fucking chairman of the most famous furry convention of all, AC. I wanted him to acknowledge that there are argonians existing in the fandom. I mean why else I see furs on FA like myself,  Dreg,  Cyrax_X and others who's main fursona turns out to be of this race made by Bethesda.
Also, as a bonus and I consider him as such that  foxamoore was with Uncle Kage in this stream and he was doing what he dose as that you know if you were also at the stream with me, the booze thief rented a keyboard for him to jam with us an himself. We had laughs, as with the other furrys that are chatting in that stream. Kage told his usual stories to us. Some of us were requesting songs for the fox to play.
I admit to be the main one to request Fox and Kage to play one of the absolute cringe worthy songs on YouTube, "What does the Fox Says" by Yilvis. For the sake of hilarity and I do like to take friendly digs onto other furries of other species. I sometimes consider myself as a bit of a modern day larrikin. Fox do tend to be a laid back person. I got to admit. He is very talented. Not only with playing the piano but the things he can do at the same time while he's playing it. I was also happy I that interacted with  TienLong in the stream as well as I do like him as a character. Also I was psyched that I had a show while being in that stream including the appearance of the celestial dragon himself on Skype. Doing his thing.
So it's much like a masquerade and a panel of a furcon all in one. But in the net. But in order to do that I ended up defying my mums rules on the computer but that was the risk I took. And if you haven't been on a stream with either Tien nor Uncle K. I recommend in you doing so. I would personally thank you Fox and Kage for entertaining us in that stream and looking forward to your next one with hopefully Telephone herself in suit. Despite me early departure from this I do enjoy being with you guys, Tein and other furs participating in that. I just wish that troll who keep on posting pictures of Adolf Hitler and saying shit about the fandom would fuck off any earlier.

I recently just came back from watching around roughly 2,000 motorcycles gone down the streets of Newcastle being decked out in Christmas decorations. Most have toys and some even dressed for this event. Well I was there in support of my middle brother who participated in that as that he's the one that has a motorbike and a licence to ride one.
For those who ain't from my hometown which is like currently 56 of those that are watching me on Fur Affinity. If you been to my page I am aware that I'm at 57 and like I said I thanked and appreciated each and every one of you doing so and end up watching me in the future.
I know  HorrorSympathy would know what I'm talking about because as I checked out the  OzFurs and this is the reason I decided to watch her is that she's actually from the same region I'm from which is in fact the NSW Hunter region. So until I discovered her on FA, I never knew there is a furry that also lived in the same region as me. IDK if where in the Hunter she lived in though.
Despite the fact that I don't have a motorcycle licence nor even a motor bike, watching these bikes go past I thought "Gosh, I wouldn't mind being a part of it. I mean it's for a charitable cause. Which is giving out toys to disadvantaged kids. I mean at least be on the preferably the back of a trike or riding a side car but being in fursuit or at least a kigu (which is much more safer and cheaper to wear on a bike BTW) of preferably my main fursona!"
Speaking of which, I can't help but notice journals some furs have written a Christmas wish list considering that it's December and as of now as I written this it's 19 days till Christmas day. So maybe I think it would be cool for me to join the furry Christmas list making bandwagon and make one up for myself. Sorry to be too over extravagant on some of this but as it so I see other people be like that with their lists.

Things I would like for Chistmas this Year
1.A fursuit of my argonian fursona, Bruzo Dragonius (of course) to be made by  Arooki or  Plus3Defense. Can either be a plantigrade fullsuit or a partial. But either way I rather have it to include a head with moving jaw, hands with claws and to the entire length of my arm all the way to my shoulder (only if I were to have it as a partial or at least arm sleeves to be included), Tail and feet with claws, either be it as sock paws or normal fursuit feet with leggings (again, if its a partial in case I decide to wear shorts over my fursuit).
2. A custom made Kigu onesie or hoodie also of Bruzo's likeness. That is to include horns and feathers on the hood and a tail at least in the back. Like the ones  Lemonbrat makes.
3. A trip to a fur con overseas like Anthrocon with expenses paid and hopefully to be there as a fursuiter. But if it's con of next year, it would most likely be as Unbrion. It could even be a con right hear in Australia like Confergence or FurDU or it could be a normal pop culture con like Comic Con or EB Games Expo perhaps.
4. As an aspiring furry youtuber I think I could use a video camera to make more videos in in the privacy of my bedroom and to record my fursuit outings be it that it's at a convention or whatever.
5. A laptop computer which I can also use to do digital art using a stylus.
6. Money for my car insurance to be paid off for next year without having to dig into my savings account as that that is for me to save up on Bruzo to be made as a fursuit for me.
7. Even though through this secret Santa I signed up for on Facebook, I'm due to get some art from this mystery fur who got my number in order to make art for me as well as from some of my friends (most likely  AngeltheCosmicWarrior) but I like to have one done of Bruzo by one of my favourite furry artists  TwilightSaint. Can be an updated ref. sheet for Bruzo, a canvas painting or digital art of me as Bruzo with my dutchy Newy, fighting against the Islamic state either all alone or with another argonain I just friended on Facebook,  Cyrax_X and my best friend in this fandom, Angel as his fursona in an ISIS military compound or whatever.
8. A WWE Network gift card as well as a PSN Gift Card that would at least have enough funds for me to subscribe to Playstation Plus for at least a year as well as for enough crowns to have a subscription to ESO Plus.
9. A Dragonball Z: Battle of the Gods type satirical digital art of me sparing with  TienLong.
10. A traveling package to Wrestlemania 32.

If you seen my latest video on YouTube and if you can tell with the way I was behaving making this pledge video for  RueWinters that I seem depressed than yes. I am actually depressed. If you looked at my previous journals then you all know that I'm depressed over the fact that is fursuit related. The fact of uncertainty that the maker I went with before this incident I had with her will ever take me back as her client after the way I behaved towards her. But at least I apologised to her so I guess it's a maybe.

I find it very heartfelt to see that people did notice that depression of mine. Well, for one Al CaBone ( Pachuco) messaged me on Facebook last Thursday in regards to that and he recommended me to this US based company that makes fursuits and other cosplay outfits called  Plus3Defense. I seen the company's website before and this argoinian fursuit this person did and OMG even for a partial it looks so damn cool. If there is no such thing as a fursuit maker in Australia and if I only had to choose an American to make Bruzo for me as at least for now a partial I'd probably go with them. He even said that he would put at least $US1,000 into the commission of the suit of which I am so damn grateful and appreciative of him willingly doing that for me. He's a saint for doing that just for a stranger that are dying of wanting to become a fursuiter like him. But on the downside, according to Plus 3's website, they are currently closed for quotes and commissions. But at least I submitted my e-mail address to them so they could be in touch with me when they open again.

Apart from up and coming the car related payments I need to make, the conflict I had with the previous maker to a point she said no to this project and having to get a quote from this other fursuit maker and so on there's this other obstacle I had to overcome. And that is the fact that 3 months from now, my dad is planning on retiring as a boilermaker. With his age and how hard he worked just to keep the roof over me and the rest of my families head and the food in our guts and so on, he deserves to retire and I'm not arguing against that. But however, it's this financial uncertainty of whats going to happen. Being that it could be the fact that my family will loose money because of this and we had to cut back on things. Maybe I might loose some of my money as it would go towards my rent.

Last time I checked my fursuit account I have as you see in my profile $871.36 and that's in Australian currency. What if my car gets deemed unroadworthy before it gets even insured and what if I get told by my mechanic that I need new tyres or it needs work on the engine itself that would demolish the money I being dead set trying to save on a custom made argonian fursuit. What if I may never be able to walk around as Bruzo in my entire life or in any fursuit because of that? I also want to even go to a con dressed as Bruzo Dragonius even.

I tried even talking to my parents about wanting to do this but they constantly disagree with me choosing to go through this path. Not like I'm doing this for sexual reasons. Not like it's if it I were to join ISIS. Not like it's going out killing people or rob a bank. I even talked about this to my own brother and he seems so frustrated even hearing me wanting to save up money for Bruzo to be born as a suit. Just so I could shut up and not bug them about this dream of mine maybe and hopefully my parents will put some money aside for the commission I really wanted done. Originally mum didn't want to help me to pay for this costume as she would deem herself "hypocritical" if she did as she is against this furry fandom. But so the fuck what? Can't she put her beliefs aside and help me achieve this goal of mine of becoming Bruzo and do what I want to do as him? That's what I what. To entertain people be it on YouTube or out in public or at a con as an actual real life argonian or at least a closest resemblance to one.

I so even desperate to be an argonian to a point I need to fix this problem that I had with Pay Pal and not only take in a bigger variety of commissions that I hope I would do after I do this secret Santa thing I got invited into through Facebook involving me doing most likely traditional art as I don't have the equipment to do digital. Also I been thinking on depending on crowd funding sites like Kickstarter, GoFundMe or what other youtubers do it through which is Patrion. But most likely Patrion. And if I do get this fursuit I will be my less depressed then I currently am now as long as I still have a car that is up to code and without mechanical problems. Also some time and excuse to even dress as Bruzo would help.