Okay, some small updates on my current status:

PC: This thing makes me go crazy, I swear. I dunno if its just avira's fault, but there was another hidden object found on my PC by Antivir Personal.

When scanning with Gmer and doing some stuff on my trashcan (or however you call the thing where deleted files go into) the thing crashed. And I mean crash as in totally die and restart. Last time that happened was when I was doing some...things on my PC half a year ago, I can't really remember. And when I tried to play WoW (for a short time) to years ago.

Anyway, Gmer found nothing really, MBR.exe says my MBR is okay, so I will just have to wait what the guys over at the Avira forum have to say further.

But its really agitating. My Programms find something, I panic and then have to do shit to see if I'm secure, which seems to be the case everytime, since after downloading and trying a million check up progs they find nothing. And it really starts to wear me down.

Learning/finals: Learning is going on fine, the two final exams I wrote so far are okay, I guess, I didn't heard the result till now. But fuck me, learning for politics and chemistry class is a bitch. I will write politics this friday and chemistry next tuesday, so wish me luck.

Stories: I will write on these things again soon enough. Its just so stressy with learning and PC shit and all right now, I almost never feel in mood to write something.

Okay, bad news (unless you're not using ICQ).

Theres a virus going on that gets spread over ICQ and appearantly turns your PC not only into a Zombie (means a PC that acts as spreader for the virus, often so effed up that you can't save it) but also acts as backdoor (I think something similiar like a keylogger).

Now, its easy to not get it. Since this thing spreads over links and send files, when a friend sends you something, like a link or file, ask him if actually HE send it, and what exactly the thing is.

If he can't give you an answer or didn't send anything...just don't click it or receive it.

"The Dems work for Big Business, the GOP works for Really Big Business." - Unknown

So true. Of course both parties say they work for the greater good (no WH40k pun intended) and the average joe and all, but do you think that finances all these campaigns? Hell no.

"I believe that the principal difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats just want to grow our Imperial Federal Government a bit faster than the Republicans do." - Neil Boortz

Again, so true. And if anyone dares to claim its not this way, then he shall get no-fisted like no one was ever no-fisted before. Not even Dragoneer.

Like we all now, Democrats try to pull through with socialism. And socialism, no matter if its democratic socialism, communistic socialism or national socialism (which isn't socialism per se, but it seems many people don't seem to understand that) build on the government having to infringe in everybodies business, or at last employ a bit more beuraucratism then usual. So no matter if this is beneficial for the people (like with democratic socialism) or rather not (like with the other two kinds), socialism increases the amount of government.

As for the republicans, many will point out they don't do anything like that, try to keep everything down and individual freedom and that stuff.

And like I pointed out before, the fact that the GOP loves to support institutions like the CIA, FBI or NSA, who are all just tools of the government to spy on their people or that of other nations, and the PATRIOT act implanted by Bush are another way to increase the amount of government.

Also, in what kind of measurement standard do you measure the amount of government? Imperial or Metric? And if so, do you measure it in weigh, volume or height/lenght?

"The american goverment currently amounts to 683 gallons."

http://kotaku.com/5520109/no-star-f.....ve-a-volunteer

 stonergriffon pointed this out to me. And I can only hope this turns out to true.

I mean, Platinum Games only makes awesome titles. And one of their latest games which I happen to own, Infinite Space for the DS, is already a damn cool SciFi Space Opera game.

Sure, they weren't the only developers working on that game, Nude Maker did large parts of it too and I heard Sega had their hands in it too, not just commissioning and publishing it. But still, this game shows that Platinum games can handle SciFi themed games, so PLEASE let them have a try on Star Fox.

Okay guys, quick update on my writing.

I know I'm waaaaaaay behind, I have like...3 or 4 started stories, but I'm in an absolute writers block right now.

So please bare with me.

Why hello there!

First off, I will start with my final exams these week, writing my final exams for german on tuesday and for history on thursday. So, if you guys could wish me luck or pray or whatever you prefer, I would appreciate that.

Secondly, take a look at this:

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1332437/

Seriously, what is it with britain and all the orwellian shit these days? I mean, I still like the UK just...not as much anymore. This shit goes to far and has to stop.

Okay, so first off, a happy easter to everybody. At least where I live its easter sunday, so there.

Secondly, as I told you guys, I preordered Infinite Space and Pokemon Soulsilver. And both games are here, right besides me.

Buuuut, I also preordered a Lugia figure which I got for free, according to Amazon at least. And here's the catch: I didn't got one.

>8C

*cue to Sure Promise from Big O playing in the Background while my eyes flash "Ye Guilty" at Amazon*

Those fuckers sure hadn't enough figures it seems. And gues what they did. Instead of apologizing to everyone who can't get one, in a sneaky action, these bastards no only changed the orders on my user account on amazon so that it seems like I never ordered one. And they lowered the price of the game.

Okay, so now I got the game less expansive, nice and all but...I want my LUGIA FIGURE. Or an apology at least. And instead those asstards sneakily change my order and try to cover their asses up!

o.o

It seems someone did try, but I accidently closed the window. ._.

Errr, so, if anyone from here tried, add me again, this time I won't close it.

http://unrealitymag.com/index.php/2.....alphabet-ever/

So yeah, most awesome alphabet ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs23CjIWMgA

And one of most idiotic statements I have ever heard from an US congressman.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CbjMKe4n6A

I love this song very much, as well as its meaning.

I know many here don't speak german, so here is an english translation (mind you its not perfect but it gest the meaning across.)

Why in his name
We have names as well
When will we stand (up) for our dramas
He is invoked far too often
Everything endlessly, endlessly

Which army is holy
You don't believe better than I
The Bible's not something to hide behind
The Earth is our responsibility
It is friendly, friendly; we're really not

Refrain 1:
A piece of heaven
God's place
A chair in orbit
We're all sitting in the same boat
Here is your house
Here is what counts
You're under the canopy
of a grand world

Religions are to be protected
They are made for morality
It's not [just] a noble doctrine
No god had more intelligent ideas
that's having an advantage, having an advantage

Which ideal justifies the means
Who's putting out the fire now
Legions of crusaders
Have run amok in blind rage
Everything endlessly, why endlessly, crude times

Refrain 2:
A piece of heaven
God's place
A chair in orbit
We're all sitting in the same boat
Here is your home
This is your destination
You are one of a kind
Who acts as his own oracle
There's too much believing
And too little storytelling
It is stories
That unite this world

Hardships, legends
Fates, life and death
Happy endings
Desire and consolation
A piece of heaven
God's place
There are billions of colors
And each is a different red
This is your home
This is our time
We do a lot of things right
But we don't make it easy for ourselves
This is my house
This is my destination
He who proves nothing
Is really proving a hell of a lot

There is no enemy
There is no victory
Nothing belongs to nobody alone
No one has deserved his life
There's enough for everyone
There's a lot of fast money
We have vast resources
And we share this world
We have an obligation

It is friendly
Why aren't we actually

Now, this is what I think. Or a part of what I think.

While I think religions are important and persue one myself, hiding behind it, using it as a mean to get your interests through is an utterly despisable thing. And more importantly, religious tolerance is important. There are many major religions out there with a million more sub-believes. Hell, even people persuing the same kind of denomination will argue about certain points of it. But just because we have different believes doesn't mean we should fight with each other. Persue your belief, live and let live. That goes for atheists too.

Secondly, while religion is important, we are humans. We live on this world. And its our responsibility. While we may live in an afterlife after our death, now we have to live and most importantly make it possible for others to live.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kophLq2AdSw&

Mike Mozart, one of the more funny persons on Youtube, has recently decided to speak up and tell everyonehow shitty and fraudy Viacom is. He did three vids on this already, this one is his 3rd one, you can see on his page for the other two.

He has a point, and we all were already pissed at Viacom or youtube in general being the corporations bitch.

Please, watch the video, think about it, maybe take action if it concerns you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIOxsYDHWGc&feature=related

Nuff said.

So, I just did a scan with Malwarebytes today, thing catched a trojan.agent. Whatever that is.

HOWEVER!

Thats not what scared me today, but rather Avira again.

While doing a thorough scan of my system (which is still running, mind you) after searching for hidden objects, Avira alarmed me.

Yes, it appearantly found something and I should get the Avira rescue CD and do a check with it.

So I panic for 5 minutes, being the scared shit-chicken I am about a virus or something eating up my PC (or possibly already having done so, for months, maybe years, undetected) when I found something on google. Many people seem to have thsi problem with Avira 10. Personal or Premium.

There is even a official notice of one of the high ranked coders (or someone) using Avira's official forum account to post a note on their own forum that these notes of detected hidden things should be skipped, it seems Avira 10 is a bit too sensitive or has just this kind of false alarm and they'll fix it soon.

Again, Avira. Wtf? Why do you must scare me so much?

So, thing is it could still be a virus, but after checking with Malwarebytes and not finding this and having this theory that Avira marks things designated warning before (like Sytem files that aren't supposed to be opened) I think its just a false warning like so many. And just to make sure and because I do it routinely anyway, I will scan my system tommorrow with Spybot, to check if things are wrong. Which I guess aren't but like my journal titles says, I'm a hypochonder.

Hahahaha you guys thought I was over with it? Nope!

As always, I'll show up the depraved depths of political idiotism to you, may your read it or not.

This time we pick up something unusual, means something people wouldn't think about first when hearing politics: Camps. Summer Camps to be exactly.

Yeah, I know, I'll do scare tactics and Childrens books next time, but for now this one strikes me as fundamentally dumber.

Okay, heres the first fucker of the day, this one more on the left side: The Secular, free thinking Atheist camp, Camp Quest.

http://www.camp-quest.org/

Well, as you guys know, I was an atheist some time ago, before I adopted pantheist and christian ways of thinking and faith. But even when I was an atheist, I wasn't raging raging, living after the idea of live and let live, as long as they don't attacked my style of living.

And hey, this camp allows even hardcore christians to join under the premise of free thought and tolerance. That is, unless its about god or unicorns, as seen in the unicorn hunt below.

"There are two that live at Camp Quest. You can't see them, touch them, hear them, smell them, and they don't leave any visible signs or tracks. If a camper can prove that the unicorns do not exist he or she will win a godless $100 bill (a $100 from prior to 1954 when "In God We Trust" was added to U.S. paper currency)."

So yeah, first it tells us that believing in myths is bad and stupid and that you need to get that evil, easy to overlook word "GOD" of your dollar bill, so rush to your parents and tell them to protest against it, and join them all the while making snarky remarks at those stupid people who have a faith.

Yeah, free thought my ass...

Anyway, now lets go to the next point on the list. The counterpoint camp. And this one comes with a strong red-blue-and-white flavour, with an aftertaste of stars.

Camp American!

http://www.campamerica.org/

Sounds awesome right? I mean, its so american that it it right in its name!

But what is american according to the camp? Lets see:

"Where God's truth and Patriotism go hand in hand."

Okay, doesn't sounds too badly unless you're atheist, but thats not all. Subjects talked about in the camp are among others:

-The deception of evolution
-Importance of purity and morals in a free society
-pagan connection to the radical environmental movement

Okay, I can understand the teaching of values and morals, but trying to indoctrinate Creationism and hate against all enviromental groups goes a bit too far if you ask me.

Anyway, other stuff they learn is how to return Christ to the American Government (which goes against secularism), how the envriomental movement just wants to destroy private property and that you should keep a constitution 100% the same, even though society and the world changed pretty much 1000% over the last 200 hundred years after writing that thing.

Okay, that all goes a bit too far if you ask me. First, secularism is the basis for modern society, so we can't just overthrow that, the enviromental movement, may be pesky at times but they're not communists (not all at least) and they just want to ensure that our kids can have a nice nature to go to when they grow up, and not some destroyed wasteland and if you ask me, a constitution should be mostly unchanged, but if society changes so rapidly, hell, if the world changes so rapidly, even the constitution has to partly go with it.

Anyway, lets get back to the camp. So, lets say you wanna sign up your kid for it (I hope not, but lets just assume it), what should your kiddo bring with it?

Aside of the normal things, like toothbrush, clothes for changing and such, it should bring a bible and constitution so it can learn hotw to interpret both the right way (that is how the camps instructors think its right) and it should keep those other outside medias at home.

Oh, and of course, no speedos for boys or bikinis for the girls, since these can impure the minds of the children with lustful feelings, something the lord surely would condemn.

So yeah, as you can see, both sides have their own little deranged camps to send kids to to ensure that they are just as extreme and indoctrinated as themselves.

But thankfully, not everyone on the right or left is that way.

No no, I don't have it, at least thats what my antivirus progs tell me.

Rather, this journal is meant as a warning and a question to other pc users out there. And to get that big political rant journal of my page.

Anyway, a week or two ago I heard from multiple sources that the new version of the Vista Antimalware/XP antimalware/Windows Defender Virus has shown up and quickly invaded the DeviantArt servers. Now many people visiting these sites had the problem of getting the virus themselves, which of course sucks.

And from what I see, DA either doesn't do diggly-dick about getting that thing of their servers or just can't get it flushed out, since more and more people catch it over that site. And over other sites too, since it seems to spread like swine flu over the internet right now.

Anyway, what I heard is that Malwarebytes Antimalware is one of the best solutions for the problem. If you don't have it on your pc, download it right now and update it quickly, because having it before you catch the virus is better then having to download it later, then rename the .exe and do stuff in your registry to stop the virus from killing it once it runs or updates.

Anyway, my pc has 3 antimalware/virus progs on it right now (plus that MRT thingie Microsoft providesus with, but that thing is crap anyway), them being Spybot S&D, Avira Antivir Personal Edition and Malwarebytes Antimalware without the added options you have to buy.

And I think that makes my PC pretty save, right? I mean, in case shit happens, I have three progs to run and search for the bugger, plus Guard that detects virii when they try to do stuff, plus Zonealarm telling me when a programme tries going online, plus Spybot telling me when registry entries are changed plus Spybot immunizing my Browsers so that malware and virii have a hard time getting on my pc over it.

Do you think that these are enough precautions? I mean, I know I'm never 100% safe, but I try to be as safe as possible.

http://t-shirts.cafepress.co.uk/republican

http://skreened.com/liberalkids

Look at this shit. Look. At. This. Shit.

Its over now, I'm not sitting back anymore, lines have to be drawn, spit has to be spit and people have to be shouted at their faces.

I'll stop ignoring overly-political people here and on other sides of the net, be they liberal or conservative, right or left, republican or democrat. This madness has to end, these fanatists need to be shown their madness and restrained. I present to you the reason that made me furious today:

Political Toddler T-shirts.

Don't get me wrong, what doesn't strikes me most is the fact that people try to indoctrinate their children and spawn hate and anger in people of the other side who read their toddlers shirts, its the fact that people think you can seem witty by trying to express your "complicated" (HAHAHAHAHA) political opinion by printing a one liner on a t-shirt.

And worse now, IT MAKES NO SENSE OR IS PLAIN STUPID.

Exhibit A: The republicunt T-shirt with the print "Think - Its not illegal yet".

Let me remind you what the premise of the republicans is supposed to be: Small Government. Personal freedom and space. Free thought. No police state that observes and monitors its inhabitants.

Now let me see what real republicans, the ones in power help: The PATRIOT act. Support of the CIA, NSA and FBI.

How are THOSE not against freedom. How are those not tools of a big government to monitor and observe their population.

And I know, you can't have a government without an intelligence agency. BUT THREE OF THEM? And getting more power through the edict of a president that the so-called "defenders of freedom and free thought" love and adore?

Most illogical.

Not to mention, the slogan "America: Love it or leave it" was coined by the right. So, its forbidden to, you know, have criticism for your country now? Using your right to think freely to think that there's something foul in the states of america, that something needs to change for the better, even if only you think so?

Even more illogical.

Exhibit B: This was a hard one, since you know, on both sides there are so many stupid slogans to choose from, but this one really makes me wanna shoot the guy who did it.

I present to you the Dumbocrat shirt with the onprint "9/11 was a faith-based iniative."

Theres so much wrong with this one. First, let me tell you what the democrats say they stand for: Tolerance. Peace. A world with free thought. Getting free from the old chains.

Let me tell you what this T-shirt exclaims. I have no tolerance for religious people and have to express it. I can't be at peace in a world with religion and spread hate and anger among them. Free thought means I can think what I want but religious people can't. I love wearing the chain of hate and bigotry against religion. And most of all I have no empathy whatsoever because I have to spit in the face of people by using one of the most horrible crimes in humankinds history as my socio-political fuel.

Now let me get something straight, religion caused problems in this world, yes. It can be used by fanatical people to "justify" slaughtering and killing of other people for various reasons. And it happened. But not everyone having a religion is like that. And not every Atheist is better, since you know, crimes where caused on the premise of atheism too, like the slaughtering or imprisonment of religious people en masse in communistic countries like the USSR.

At the end of the day, were are all humans with flaws, trying to elevate ourselves over others using whatever we have, be it faith or the lack thereof. The thing is to love other people despite our differences, not advocating peace on the other hand while denying it for others on another one.

These are only two exhibits worth mentioning, but as you see, the links contain many, many more, much more stupid then the ones shown probably.

So, browse them if you want, laugh at the hilariously stupid opinions printed on the shirts of the other side, but remember, at the end of the day, your sides shirts are as equally idiotic.

Like the journal title suggests, preordered them a moment ago.

Together with Pokemon Soulsilver I get the Pokewalker free (which I have no clue what it is, its probably like that Pokemon Pikachu thing a few years ago) which measures how many steps you take, to turn them into...whatever.

I also got a Lugia statue for free. Gonna get a special place on the shelf over my bed where all my dragons reside. :3

And if you don't know what Infinite Space is:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinite_space

Its made by the Platinum Games guys, the ones who did Bayonetta and are the successors of studio clover. And its a strategy-scifi-exploration-rpg, where you build your ship, manage it and its crew of up to 100 members, manage an army of yours, explore regions of space, fighting ship to ship, with that army of yours and I think even alone with your chars planetside. So overall, its awesome and I dunno how people cannot be psyched about this.

Did I mention its based on Arthur C.Clarks Childhoods end? :3

Anyway, I'm psyched for this months end to get those awesome games.

I don't know if I'm over this depression now, but I came to some conclusion:

It can't stay like this.

May I be depressed or not, I can't just fucking do nothing, sulking around. I have to do stuff, work things out, work on things instead of bitching about them.

So I had some insightful talk with a friend. And I have a new plan ahead. I just need the help to pull through with it.

The F in F-unfair stands for fucking.

More depression, more strife with friends, more stress in school...

I can't just wait for this fucking school to be over...I want to go to my job, who can be dull too but at least it has to do with cooking and not fucmking math and chemistry.

So I have one day to make a presentation for Math regarding...some shit, I don't know the english terms.

And today and tommorrow for a fucking presentation on Emulgations and Emulgators for chemistry classes...

Just shoot me...

Ah well, at least I got my politics exam back, seven solid points of 15 possible ones, with 15 being something you only reach when you're god or jesus or, I dunno, L. Ron Hubbard the old Thetan scarecrow.

Sorry for having like no progression at all on stories. I have like a half finished PSR story, a started character resumee for my second team on the PCA and another started story and draft for another story series, which is hard SF. But the PSR story is impossible to write right now cuz of my friendship problems, the SF story I had no spirit to do whatsoever and the same goes for the PCA team sheet draft.

Plus, I need to write one or two stories for Janus, one for Biofox, a private one for Keir cuz I just had the inspiration for it...but seriously, if I won't get better from my depression, you can scrap all this.

Overall, I dunno. Right now the PCA/PSR seems to be no fun, and I see that among a lot of friends. Everyone is fucking depressed or stressed out. Worse shit happens every day in the world and it seems we're all spiraling downwards. Or maybe I'm just pessimistic again.

Anyway, brb, need to drown myself in coke.

Dunno, just feel only slightly better. Hopefully I will get off this depression soon...

I should really stop bothering but I can't.

And again I'm this close to ragequitting with everything and delet all the PCA/PSR stuff I have up here. The other rest too, it sucks.

How am I supposed to be friends with people better then me, with people I can't talk to on eye height. Especially if these people seem to move even more out of range, even if they say they won't.

Fuck it.

Yeah, filler journal to mask that I'm a horrible idiot.

Anyway, advertizing for a game that is awesome: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Fantasy_Legend

I'm a terrible person.

And no, before anyone starts saying I write this to get mercy or sympathy, fuck you. I don't. I don't want fucking sympathy, thats what made me either uncomfortable around half the people in my hometown or a target for the other half, so keep any kind of comment like that for yourself.

I'm simply trying to paint out for you what I am like so you know what to expect from me or, if you already know me, why you maybe should reconsider being my friend.

Here are some facts about me:
-I'm in an almost constant state of anger, due to my nature and the fact that karma constantly bites me back at the worst possible times. And that means I can boil over at any minute.
-I'm not a fanboy for much, but for what I am, I'm the damn worst kind. Means shitty ranting and annoying people if they go against my man/game/whatever.
-I would say I'm probably a pervert. Seeing what kind of kinks I have here I don't stand out as the worst person, but I'm definitly not normal in the sexual department.
-I'm horribly jealous. Of pretty much everyone here. I have no real talent and what I learned so far is not enough to catch up with everyone else I come along. My writing is okay but lacks mass. My drawing skills got only worse the more I drew, my musical abilities are again okay but nothing I could present and just in general, I think I'm lacking. So I'll get jealous at people who have those things. Even if they don't deserve such a bad emotion from my side.

Mind you, this is only a fraction of my horrible character. Sure, I have good qualities too, but from what I see, the bad ones overflow.

So in conclusion, think hard if you want to keep me as your friend, I'm probably not worth it.

Okay so, I do my normal routine that I do every 10 or so days. I let Avira Antivir and Spybot do a thorough scan of my PC.

Now, first of all, I need to update both. Start both programms, click update and...everything works fine. I close Spybot S&D and...it updates? Again?

Okay, so this is weird, I try to close it, it goes back on. It closes from itself and then goes back on. It doesn't wanna react to taskmanager, so I'm like WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO???

So I forcefully shut down my pc. Restart and...now everything is fine. I start avira and Spybot SD search and go play with my wii (ha ha I said Wii!).

I come back down an hour or so and suddenly I see it. Avira found something.

D:

Major panic. And its...the mphmd.exe and mph.exe from Command and Conquer Red Alert 2 First Decade Edition. So I'm like panicking here, getting all hyperventilting and shit and are near to a breakdown.

Thats when I do the research. I go on google and type in the supposed virus and where its found. And funnily, it seems some people have the same problem during the last days. So I read everything and it seems most people think its a false positive. Can be. Avira is not perfect.

So I go on Avira's site and to manual virus check upload...thingie. I upload both files. One gets marked as clean, the other (mphmd.exe) not. So I quarantain both, just to be sure.

2 hours later and I'm only more fucked up in my head and less further to the solution. So I let Spybot SD search again, and Avira. Nothing found now. So I delete both quarantained datas. And reinstall them via C&C The first decade repair. New search...and again Avira finds both datas offensive, Spybot does not.

So wait, ya tell me a data freshly installed from a CD...A CD I BOUGHT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A TROJAN? WTF? So now I start getting really skeptic.

So I download Malwarebytes Antimalware. Good programme people tell me, people on Avira forums even. So, I let it do both a fast and long scan. Both find nothing...except a registry change that is due to Spybot. So, I let him check both files manually again. Nothing found.

So I concur:
-Many people say its a false positive
-Spybot SD found nothing
-Malwarebytes found nothing
-Chance of two newly reinstalled files being corrupted is pretty low, even more because I don't play online

So, in the end I told Avira to ignore both files because evidence was against them being trojans. Does anyone think i did the wrong thing? And please, if I did, tell me so, and fast please, cuz I know shit about PC's.

As many of you know, I love X-Com. I love the idea of an organization fighting behind our backs and out of our sight (for the most part) to keep an otherwordly menace at bay.

Fewer of you know I love similiar horror based movies and tv series like Special Unit 2 who take that concept and add supernatural things like Demons and stuff.

Now, by pure accident (and by that I mean reading on TvTropes.org) I found this neat lil site.

http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/main

From what I see, its about the same concept. Here we have a secret organization collecting various...things, that pose an otherwordly, supernatural danger to us.

Makes a good, creepy reading sometimes, so check it out.