I'm fuckin off of work, it's Saturday night. I gotta go make a run which blow's because it's late as fuck. But I'm totally stoked about tomorrow, gonna go and hang out with Crimson for the night and jam the fuck out and all that good stuff. Seriously can't wait til tomorrow!!

What is everyone else doing this weekend?

The effect that music has on animals. Every time I play or sing my dog or dogs come and sit down in front of me and take a nap or stare up at me. I'm sure that they enjoy it, I enjoy playing for them very much so. Every time I go and visit our chickens and turkeys the same thing, sometimes they even seem to try and cluck along or crow at the perfect times. I wonder if horses enjoy music? I have yet had the opportunity to play for them, I'm sure they would ^^

Anyways it's something that intrigues me, I wonder what they think. I think I know what they think because I feel it. Pretty neat experience

Is a like month long vacation or longer. Where I can cruise around the country and go to some shows and stuff. Go meet some friends and generally get away from all the troubles of life around here. Need someone to be there in my life or someone who is actually interested in being in my life. Someone I'm actually interested back in. I want a mutual feeling again, I don't like being second best. I don't even need to be in first, but I don't like feeling like I have to compete. I'm tired of that seriously I am tired of that. Once and for all I want someone to share my life with, someone to help out somebody who needs me. I want somebody to love =]

I know I'm a really complicated guy and I can't help that. Just wish that sometimes I'd get the benefit of the doubt.

Come see me soon please I need you *licks and nuzzles your rust muzzle*

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

My life is crazy, I suppose it's finally time to chill down a bit. Relax a bit on the partying and drugs. I'm about to embark on a new journey in life and will never forget my roots or where I came from. I'll never forget all the friends I've made thus far and look forward to the new ones I'll make in the future. I'll never completely drop outta my old ways, I'll just have to suppress them a bit. Eventually if and when I get into my program in college, I'll have to take drug tests. Same will go for when I'm done with my program and out looking for a job in the world.

I'm excited because if I do manage to keep doing what I'm going to school for. I can land jobs anywhere. Seriously just tired of low wages and living pay check to pay check. I can't take care of those around me like I want to just yet and that hurts seeing those people unhappy. I don't like how people chase after money and the pursuit of happiness, I guess I just never looked at money like that. I always figured I was smart enough to do what I needed to do to get by. But as you grow up you want more and more things and money is how you get those things. I still don't believe that money is how you achieve happiness. I'll never buy into that ideology.

My dreams and motives are simple. To be around horses, dogs, good friends and good music. All the other bullshit in this world are just obstacles.

Pz

All I have to really say about it, was it was epic. If I met you and stuff and you pad by my page. Be sure to say what's up cause I'd love to hear from you all again. Tons of shoutouts to folks, but I'm rather baked right now and I can't find all of you. Special thanks to Crimson for being a true friend and having my back. Your seriously one of the coolest guys I've ever met so far in life. Sometimes I can be distant and estranged from the rest of the world, but when I shine I'll always have your back. If you ever need a friend I'm here for you.

Oh yea I got my grades back from last quarter, I got 2 A's and a B. I finally qualify for the Pell grant on my 24th birthday. I hope I seriously survive long enough to finish college. Sometimes I'm not so sure about that though *laughs a bit and shakes his muzzle*

That's about it, I need to head to bed now. I got me some con crud and need to sleep it off if possible. Plus I got Fred here and the other dog outside barking up a storm, hopefully I'll get some peace tonight.

To all my friends out there, who sadly enough aren't here on FA with me. Umm, I love you all man Sex, Drugs, and Flatt & Scruggs!! However I don't advocate any of those above mentioned D= *hides head under paws*

Really looking forward to this next month, a very special friend comes to visit me. I'm really looking forward to seein ya Buster *hugs tight*

I've been so conflicted in thought for the past several years ever since Bailey passed away. I've been conflicted with topics for songs and lyrics to write because my emotions are constantly on the flux. I am always ever changing on the inside and experiencing new feelings and emotions and mixes of all of the like at once. I have always been infatuated with Hope. Such a simple four letter word with such a strong meaning.

When it all boils down to it I hope that in the end I'll be reunited with my loved ones. I hope that in life I will be successful. I never knew what the word meant until one day I saw a beautiful black Great Dane puppy at a friends house I had just met. I didn't know it at the time the impact that she would have on my life and everyone whose lives she was involved in. What I did know then is that I could have only hoped that my life would have gotten better.

A few years went by and they weren't the best years of my life by any means. I did alot of horrible things, I took alot of drugs and I also had alot of good times. I didn't know the impact those "good" times would have on my life. Everything seemed so simple then. I grew more and more attatched to Bailey as time passed on. I worked for UPS and I was just nothing but a mere shadow of the boy I once was. Everything I ever told myself I wouldn't become I had became.

My good friends mother wasn't the best influence on us. I love her to death still to this day because she really is a wonderful person at heart. I can relate to her because alot of people suffer from the same sickness that is addiction as she does and as do I. She couldn't afford food for her dogs hardly ever, and I couldn't stand that so I would buy her dog's food every other week for the next year and a half. I would come over there even when Matt was away just to go see Bailey lol.

My birthday came up and I was of course spending it with my best friend over at his house with a few other buddies of ours. His mom took me into her bedroom for what I thought would just be a few lines and a happy birthday speech. Instead she was crying to me while she was telling me Happy Birthday and she gave me a huge long speech of how it made her smile seeing me and Bailey and how much Bailey admired me and how much I admired her back that she gave me Bailey for my birthday. She couldn't afford her and knew that I would treat her like the queen she is.

My adopted parents raised our family to treat dogs as equals, Matt's mother knew that I would give her the best life I could possibly give. My mother was terrified of big dogs, she wasn't cool with me bringing Bailey over there. But she also knew how depressed I was and how close I was to animals after my Rabbit passed away a year before. My parents have done nothing but try and try for me to give to me a better life and to make something out of myself. It's funny how it took a dog and all those years before hand to finally realize that.

Anyways, I took Bailey home and like it was at matt's house she never wanted to leave my side. She was my shadow and we were one. When I went to work she never left my room my parents would relucantly go check on her to make sure she was okay and sure enough she was. My mom used to say she would growl at her as she peered through the door and saw her on my bed waiting for me to come home. When I would come home it was like being reunited with a long lost mother or father I'd imagine. I miss that so much *cries*

Eventually, Bailey warmed up to my father and my mother. Soon after I had Bailey my father was diagnosed with hodgkins disease also known as lymphoma. He lost his job because of downsizing a few months prior to this. We had to move into a new neighborhood because we could no longer afford living in East Cobb and things changed for them. Life for me remained the same it was clouded by drugs and my own self pity.

My father was dieing and I was reluctant to spend time with him because of feeling guilty for who I had become. But Bailey was there for him every step of the way. He was home all day long and she kept him company and kept him busy and in good health because he would take her on these huge long walks through the neighborhood where she made quite the name for herself with all the kids. *whimpers* I can't thank her enough for what she did for my father when he was sick. It's hard to explain the relationship between a dog and a family without experiencing it firsthand.

That's what I want to do with music. But I'm not done with this story yet. I don't want to go into details of her death, I have done that many times before on my LJ. I was so close to her she brought me and my family together again, she helped my father when he was sick and practically on his deathbed because of the extent his cancer was at. She kept him on his toes and was by his side was very theraputic to us all during our hard times.

I wouldn't be here today if she hadn't come into my life when she did. I really wouldn't be I can't explain it but I would not be here typing this. I almost wasn't after she died but she left me behind this unique gift that I have been wanting to share with the world for the past few years now. I'm not quite ready yet because I'm still learning so much about this gift. But she gave me Hope in my life. When she died I thought I was going to lose that hope but I reconnect with it again through music and when I think of her now.

I've had so many great people get put into my life. I've lost alot of those good people literally they're no longer with me physically, but they're still with me. Music is timeless and if one person hears something somebody else might hear it through them. Maybe people will hear my stories about her hundreds of years from now and remember that there is Hope in this world. I never went looking for it, it sort of just found me. If you can hang on long enough I'm sure that it can find you too. I managed to make it this far and I will make it to the end without fear of the day that I die. It is then that I will be reunited with my friends and loved ones and family.

I suppose I live haunted by my past. Do you? By doing so it keeps me on edge to avoid making mistakes multiple times in a row. Though I live life and have regrets I don't consider them to be mistakes or regrets that I have not learned from.


I had to get that out there for some odd reason. This post was mad long and if you read this far *licks*


I wish I could tell you how I really feel about you
and not sound like Im a comin on too strong.

But lately man I'm a scared that if I don't find someone I'll be takin the road alone

So if your out there just know that I"m a thinkin of you

The best thing that could happen in my life would be you

Sometimes I wonder if you ever feel the same,
I'm kinda scared of gettin hurt again

Regardless of the outcome it's better than a nothin and I'll take that chance

I'm still a pretty young and my heart can take a hurtin

All I can do is hope for you to take a chance at lovin a me too!!

Cause I sure do think I could you!!

Cadbury

to a special Buster Doberman dawg *slurps*

I normally don't like to post things like this publically and I won't do so often. But this is a story one of many in my life and just a brief version of it. Also a bit of a song I came up with in my head inspired by the thoughts I had when thinking of a good friend.

Where are you staying?
I have no clue at all, I never do when attending cons. I use my cunning personality to lure you into letting me stay in your room =] Nah jk, I have money for a room if needed. But I usually end up finding a friend to crash with and if necessary I'm local so I can just cruise back to my pad.

Where will you be most of the time during the days?
I'll prolly be doing my own thing, hanging around getting stoned with whoever wants to engage in a good deep conversation. Or wondering around somewhere pretending I'm a Bard

Who will you be with?
Friends and furries of course.

Do you do free art?
It depends on what you consider to be art

Do you do trades?
If you got good stuffz I might

Do you do commissions?
Nope

Do you have prints/ CDs?
Nope

What suits will you have?
My three piece suit ^^

What is your gender?
I'm a boy ^^

How old are you?
23

How tall are you?
6'0 I think not sure

Can I touch you?
Better watch out!!

Can I talk to you?
Of course I'm a super nice guy, but I'm usually lost in thought or in some other world. Getting my attention isn't that easy.

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
No I come with my own drinks =]

Can I give you lots of money?
Sure gimmie all yo money

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
You can hug me, snuggles are for special occasions

Are you nice?
Yea for the most part I'm nice

Additional Info:
Seeing as how my Banjo weighs like 20 pounds now cause I have a new one. I don't carry it around with me on my back. So I suppose you'll have to pick me outta a crowd. Shouldn't be too hard, I don't really look like a furry =X