Come say hi, or look for me around the con! Right now I'm wearing tan cargo pants, a blue wolf shirt, long hair, and my Cani badge. :)

And what better way to celebrate getting older, than to go to work today!

1. Will you be attending?
HELLS YES.

2. Staying at:
The Hilton. ^^

3. Arrival and Departure:
Arrival: Wednesday, 9/21
Departure: Sunday, 9/25

4. Mode of transportation
1996 Ford Aspire

5. Rooming with:


6. Con Plans:
FURSUITING!!! Also check out some panels, socialize, and overall get away from life for a while.

7: How can I find you?
You can note me for my cell number or post here! Or just look for my awesome fursuit running around.

8. Do you do free art?
I don't do art at all. XD

9. Do you have prints/Cds?
Nada.

10. Will you be fursuiting? if so: What suit(s)?
FUCK YEAH. That is, if Cani is finished in time. My maker is working hard to have him ready before the con. :)

11. Will you be going to parties?
Room parties with alcohol involved? No thanks.

12. Will you be performing?
Not in the shows, but I'll be goofing off around the con. XD

13. Smoke?
Hell no.

14. Drink
Hell no.

15. Gender
Male.

16. Can I hug you?
Sure, why not?

17. Can I talk to you?
Of course!

18. Will you be at any panels?
I'll be at several!

19. Can I touch you?
Depends on the "touch."

20. Can I buy you drinks?
Non-alcoholic only!

21. How old are you?
23 now, but I'll be 24 before the con. :P

22. Can I snuggle with you?
Depends.

23. If you're pissed off, should I approach you?
Uhh, maybe. I don't think I'll be pissed off at anything, though.

24. Are you nice?
Mmhmm ^^

25. Cliquey?
Not really.

26. How tall?
5'11"

27. Can I Take pictures of you?
YES, as long as you send them to me after!

28. Will you get anything commissioned?
Dunno. Might have a tight budget.

29. How can I get your attention?
Yell out "CANI!!" or pounce me. :P

30. Can I ask you to dance at the raves?
Sure, but I'm a horrible dancer and generally don't stay long because of the lack of oxygen at those dances.

Reposting this thing that's been floating around...

♥To every guy that said, "Sex can wait"

♥To every guy that said, "You're beautiful"

♥To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her

♥To every guy that gives her flowers and a card when she is sick or down.

♥To every guy who has given her flowers just because thats how he rolls

♥To every guy that said he would die for her.

♥To every guy that really would.

♥To every guy that did what she wanted to die for

♥To every guy that cried in front of her...

♥To every guy that she cried in front of...

♥To every guy that holds hands with her.

♥To every guy that kisses her with meaning..

♥To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.

♥To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.

♥To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.

♥To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.

♥To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to
see her for ten minutes

♥To every guy that would give his seat up...

♥To every guy that just wants to cuddle.

♥To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.

♥To every guy who told his secrets to her.

♥To every guy that showed how much he cared through every word and every breath.

♥To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.

♥To every guy that believed in her dreams.

♥To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them

♥To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.

♥To every guy that walked her to her car and opened the door

♥To every guy that gave his heart.

♥To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.


Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore...
And because of this, there are not many left out there...

I guarantee 90% of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image

If you are a nice guy repost this with: "Nice guys STILL finish last "

If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way
repost this with: "To Every Guy"

Nightmare!
(Now your nightmare comes to life)

Dragged you down below, down to the devils show,
To be his guest forever (Peace of mind is less than never)!
Hate to twist your mind, but God ain't on your side,
An old acquaintance severed (burn the world your last endeavor)!

Flesh is burning, you can smell it in the air,
Cause men like you have such an easy soul to steal (steal)
So stand in line while they ink numbers in your head,
you're now a slave until the end of time here,
Nothing stops the madness turning, haunting, yearning, pull the trigger!

You should have known the price of evil,
And it hurts to know that you belong here, yeah
Oooooh, it's your fuckin' nightmare!
(While your nightmare comes to life)

Can't wake up in sweat, cause it ain't over yet,
still dancin' with your demons (Victim of your own creation)
Beyond the will to fight, where all that's wrong is right
Where hate don't need a reason (loathing self-assassination)

You've been lied to just to rape you of your sight
and now they have the nerve to tell you how to feel (feel)
So sedated as they medicate your brain
and while you slowly go insane the tell ya
Given with the best intentions help you with your complications!

You should have known the price of evil,
And it hurts to know that you belong here, yeah.
No one to call, everybody to fear,
Your tragic fate is looking so clear, yeah.
Oooooh, it's your fuckin' nightmare, ha-ha-ha-ha!

Fight (fight), not to fail (fail), not to fall (fall)
Or you'll end up like the others.
Die (die), die again (die), drenched in sin (sin)
With no respect for another.

Down (down), feel the fire (fire), feel the hate (hate)
Your pain is what we desire.
Lost (lost), hit the wall (wall), watch you crawl (crawl)
Such a replaceable liar.

And I know you hear their voices (calling from above),
And I know they may seem real (these signals of love),
But our life's made up from choices (some without appeal),
They took for granted your soul, and it's ours now to steal
(As your nightmare comes to life)!

You should have known the price of evil,
And it hurts to know that you belong here, yeah.
No one to call, everybody to fear,
Your tragic fate is looking so clear, yeah
Oooooh, it's your fucking nightmare!

It got a lot right, but my taste in music COMPLETELY wrong. I HATE rap. >_<;


Notes in italics mine.

Friendly

You would rather hang out with others than spend time alone, and you'd far rather be doing something with your friends than just sitting around. You're happy in a crowded room, club, stadium, or auditorium.

You're not a private person who is ill at ease in a group; you don't view excessive socializing as a waste of time.

Except I do like spending time alone to think and reflect...

Accessible

You're comfortable expressing yourself in words and actions, with no self-censorship. You believe that if someone doesn't like what they see it's not your problem, but theirs. A high score on the "accessible" trait suggests that you have a lot of friends, socialize often, and enjoy rap/hip-hop music. I hate rap.

You don't see the need to keep your thoughts to yourself, or to have a zone of privacy that encompasses only yourself and a small circle of friends and relatives.

Warm

You have a genuine interest in other people. You're a natural host, and are always thinking about how you can increase the happiness of those around you. When friends have problems or are in trouble, you're usually the first person they turn to for aid and comfort. Scoring high on the "warm" trait suggests that you are among those who enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.

You don't always say exactly what you're thinking; you don't like the idea of causing anyone pain because of your criticism. Except when I'm a troll trying to piss off the religious right...

Upbeat

You enjoy being around others and others enjoy being around you. You have a "live and let live" attitude; because you know that no one's perfect, you are forgiving and happy to give the benefit of the doubt.

You don't feel the need to be controversial or express contrary opinions all the time. You see no reason to go around rubbing people the wrong way. Again, except when I'm a troll and want to piss people off...

Empathetic

You are in touch with your own feelings, which helps put you in touch with the feelings of others.

You don't buy the logic that your happiness comes ahead of everyone else's because unless you're happy you're incapable of making anyone else happy.

Passionate

You are in touch with your emotions, and sometimes you react before you think. The good news: you don't tamp down your feelings. The bad news: you sometimes say or do things that you later wish you could take back.

You do not live your life on an even keel; you do not go for long periods without experiencing some mood swings.

Sympathetic

You have a knack for knowing what's going on in the hearts and minds of those around you, without their having to tell you explicitly. People tend to turn to you with their problems because they know you care, and that you will likely offer good advice and a helping hand.

You do not feel that people with sad stories are just looking for attention, or have brought their problems upon themselves.

Original

You are constantly coming up with new ideas. For you, the world as it exists is just a jumping-off place; what's going on inside your mind is often more interesting than what's going on outside.

You don't feel that the road to success is to be a realist and stick to the program; you never stop yourself from coming up with new ideas or telling the world what you're thinking about.

Curious

You like to get to the bottom of things. You're not content knowing what someone did; you want to know why they did it.

You don't simply take things as they are and move on; you're not content skimming along on the surface; you don't feel you're wasting time by digging for the meaning of things. Very. lol

Poised

You tend to feel at home wherever you find yourself, even in unfamiliar settings, with new people. It takes a lot to rattle you, and when rattled you recover quickly and gracefully.

You are usually not self-conscious or nervous when you're in an unfamiliar environment or with people you don't know.

First I was like



And then I was like



But then I was like



And now I'm like

Totally pimpin this chick out:  paper-wings

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2593563/


GO COMMISSION HER!

I'm REALLY wanting to get a DSLR again.. I miss my Canon 50D so hard.

But I was thinking if I can get one, I should put it to good use and actually make some money out of it.

Would anyone be interested in photoshoots of them in their suits? For the locals, I could do some shoots for free to get some practice in.

...Thinking of all that hot temptation
You know it’s going right where you want
Yeah, you know what’s going on

I keep breaking my own rules playing your love fool
Trying to forget about the consequence
We keep saying we should and yeah we know we could stop
But really what it all comes down to is

It feels so good
It feels so good, when I’m in your arms

Don’t you know, It feels so good
It feels so good
It feels so good...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WOw.....mp;amp;ob=av2n

Senses:

Sight: Ooh, she's absolutely gorgeous...
Smell: Mmm, her scent is intoxicating... <3
Touch: So warm and cuddly...
Sound: Her voice, so soothing...
Taste: HEY, WHY AM I GETTING LEFT OUT HERE?!? ;_;


Mind:

Conscious mind: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. Pull yourself together. You know that she's not interested. You know she's not into you like that. You know she's taken. You know that's not going to change anytime soon.
Subconscious mind: Butbutbut... She's just so completely perfect! She's everything I ever wanted! Things might change, just wait a while...
Conscious mind: Yeah, when hell freezes over. And just look at what you're doing to your wife!
Subconscious mind: You know everything that's happened up until this point.. Maybe it's just inevitable.
Conscious mind: STOP IT ALREADY! *sigh*

Emotions:

Heart: Missing, but it left a note saying that he's attaching himself to someone else, with or without my consent, leaving behind a sense of emptiness that can only be filled when I'm around my heart's new home.



... WHYYYYY?

It isn't easy, and sometimes you have setbacks.

And other times, you get thrown way back to where you first started, only you remember everything that happened along the way. >_<;

"EARN IT BITCH. EARN IT HARDER."

"Good morning, Cani. I'm Reality. *SMACK* WAKE UP!"


That's more or less how my day went yesterday. I was quite violently woken up from a three-month long daydream when reality decided to take a Louisville Slugger to my skull.

Since April, I've been romantically obsessed with my best friend, completely ignoring the fact that I was breaking my wife's heart. I let what's real get away from me, and instead clung to what I thought I saw. It wasn't until my friend threatened to leave me that I realized what the fuck I was doing. It took the threat of losing the object of my obsession to realize I was driving them both away. Even though both her and my wife were telling me all this from the beginning, over and over again, but I stubbornly clung to my false hopes and refused to let my daydream go.

I really fucked things up, and I'm amazed by both of them that they haven't dumped my ass by now, even though they both were one step away just days ago. I am very lucky to have such a wonderful wife and an awesome friend.

Karissa, Maggie... I'm sorry, and I hope you both can forgive me. Especially you, Kat. I really, really hurt you, and I fucking ignored it while I had my head in the clouds. I promise that I'll never put you through that again.





I suppose an apology should also go out to AC on this one, even though he doesn't know a thing about all this...

I used to call myself a "helpless" romantic, because I couldn't help but be that way. I now realize that "hopeless" is a much better term.

Long story short: Falling deeply in love with your best friend isn't a good idea, especially when you're married and she has a boyfriend.

I am very happy that I finally finished cleaning the white paint off of my set of Civic VX rims and had them installed today. The difference between them and the stock steel wheels is definitely noticeable. These rims weigh a feathery 9 lbs each, as compared to 13 for the stock steel rims. The feeling is like going from a pair of boots to a pair of Converse All-stars.

And now, for pics!

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y9.....e/IMG_0497.jpg

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y9.....e/IMG_0496.jpg

So I tried having a friend do a tarot card reading on me, because I was curious. So, I asked the deck a question that was on my mind for a while. What it told me was surprisingly accurate... Though the part on what could happen is just that- could. It shows one possibility. But still, the meaning behind the cards and what they represent with my question just fit it perfectly. O_O

Next, after my wife had a go just seeing what the cards had to say about her current state of mind, which was also eerily accurate, my friend's husband had a go. Damn. Spot on... Then it was my turn. My best friend's fursona name even came up through one of the cards. O_O

The last thing we did was something called "Harsh Truths." Pretty much, the cards told me "You know what's going on. You know what you need to do. Just do it already."


....


Now, I've been a skeptic for some time now. I've always seen tarot cards as randomly drawn cards that are so vague that you could pull just about anything out of them. But when specifically arranged cards represent specific things, and those specific cards match up PERFECTLY with what's going on... Holy shit. And not just once, but 5 TIMES.


............

After falling in love with someone other than my wife, I never really put much thought into why I was in love with her, but more about why I fell in love with anyone.

Thinking about it now... Well, we have a ton of stuff in common, she's really fun to be around, she has a wonderful personality, she's damn cute and sexy, her presence helps me let go of inhibitions and lets me be who I am on the inside...

When we're together, it feels like nothing else matters. All of my worries fade away. I feel a sense of happiness and peacefulness that I haven't even gotten from my mate before. Dare I say it feels like I belong...

When we've been apart, even if it's just a few days, I start to genuinely miss her. I sigh and wait to get to see her beautiful face, hear her soothing voice, feel her warm and cuddly hug...

If we were single, would I date her? In a heartbeat.

It was a month ago today that we met, and thinking about her still brings out the butterflies. Instead of my feelings calming down and fading, they're getting stronger, and I don't know what to do.

When thinking of her, those three words have come to mind... I know she can't reciprocate, but I got to the point where I just had to say it. My finger sat hovering over the enter key for a bit, unsure of whether or not I should say it.

But it's true... I love you.

"You're married."

I know, I know... It's not that I'm unhappy with her, or aren't satisfied, or bored, or anything like that. I was never expecting to fall in love again. I am happy with her. But there was just something about you that struck me the night I met you...

... Gah.


Even though I know that I'll never be able to have you romantically, I really hope I can always keep you as a dear friend. You have a piece of my heart... Please take good care of it. *snuggles*

After almost a month, I thought my feelings would start to settle down and fade... Except that they're doing the opposite. They're actually maturing. Growing. And I'm not sure what to do here...

I know it's more or less one-sided, but it's not like I can simply just fall out of love. My feelings should be calming down, and I should be able to shake off the butterflies. But I can't.

I know I'm not supposed to feel this way... I'm married. I shouldn't be in love with another woman. Especially one who's already mated...

All I know is that I can't live without my wife, but I'm also falling deeper into love with someone else. And even though I got to spend some good time with her last weekend, I miss her already.

I just don't know how or why this is all happening....

I might add more later, but I've got to get to class now.

So I finally got my new phone, and it's now active. I have unlimited texting, so feel free to drop me a line anytime!

This song has proven true for me more than once.... I just need to keep it in mind. Especially now. >_<;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWometP71h4

38 Special- Hold On Loosely

You see it all around you
Good lovin' gone bad
And usually it's too late when you
Realize what you had

And my mind goes back to a girl I met
Long years ago who told me

Just hold on loosely
But don't let go
If you cling too tightly
You're gonna lose control

Your baby needs someone to believe in
And a whole lot of space to breathe in

It's so damn easy
When your feelings are such
To overprotect her
To love her too much

And my mind goes back to a girl I met
Long years ago who told me

Just hold on loosely
But don't let go
If you cling too tightly
You're gonna lose control

Your baby needs someone to believe in
And a whole lot of space to breathe in

Don't let her slip away
Sentimental fool
Don't let your heart get in the way
Yeah, yeah, yeah

You see it all around you
Good lovin' gone bad
And usually it's too late when you
Realize what you had

So hold on loosely
But don't let go
If you cling too tightly
You're gonna lose control

Your baby needs someone to believe in
And a whole lot of space to breathe in

So hold on loosely
But don't let go
If you cling too tightly
You're gonna lose it
You're gonna lose control

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

So hold on loosely
But don't let go
If you cling too tightly
You're gonna lose control

Hold on loosely
But don't let go
If you cling too tightly to her
You're gonna lose control, yeah, yeah, yeah

I'm getting a new phone, but in order to carry over my number, my current account with STi Mobile needs to close for AT&T to get the number. Apparently, they won't even ship my new phone until the request is confirmed. The port transfer request was approved, but my phone is still working as of this journal. I'll post on here when it's shut down fully, but as for now, assume it's dead.

I just added $10 to it to hold me over, too. Hopefully STi doesn't immediately kill it.

UPDATE: Apparently, it's still working. O_O My new phone is also on it's way here, so things should be just fine.

Wow. Things have really been shaken up for me this past week... In a good way. XD It's a very odd experience to fall in love all over again with someone new when you're already with someone you love, in a very short time frame.

Saturday: Find out there's a new fur in the area, add her to my contacts/FA. Meet her for the first time, chat a while. Ask her if she's open for art commissions.

Sunday: Read up a little more on her, find links to her various pages, read more, exchange notes on the commish. Find she's on my mind constantly and have that butterflies in the heart feeling. Go shopping after work, and notice that my feelings were the same ones that I felt when my wife and I were getting together. I literally stop in my tracks and realize that I'm starting to fall in love.

Monday: Register for RF, book a room, arrange room sharing with her. Meet up with her to work on the ref sheet, feeling shy and all fluttery inside. She's still always on my mind.

Tuesday: Let her know I like her. She gets surprised, but not scared away.

Wednesday: I explain my feelings better, things are cool with her. More chatting, getting to know each other more, get a little closer.

Thursday: First time getting on cam for someone I know IRL... Thought of her in a dream that night.

Friday: Got together after work for food, ended up bringing her to our place for some Smash Brothers. Had a good talk on the way home, and gave her a hug. ^^

Saturday: Got together again, went shopping for some fursuit stuff, picked up her head for alterations. Pretty rough night, she got depressed and sad, I suggested something stupid, couldn't sleep from worry.

Sunday: Fixed up her head at 4:30 AM, got 3 hours of sleep. Returned the head after work, and cleared up a ton of stuff over Skype.

Monday: Got to hang out for 3 hours, just the two of us. Toy shopping, lunch, and lots of fun. Accidentally kiss her neck while going for her cheek. BEST DAY EVER. XD

Now if only I can get my wild heart under control... But, love is indeed like Pi; Natural, irrational, and needed.

GO WATCH HER. She's awesome.  Paper-Wings


Apparently, a sex meme. If you were to get the chance to get with me...

1. Would you be in control?

2. Would you pull my hair?

3. Would you whisper in my ear?

4. Would you talk dirty to me?

5. Would you kiss me with a little tongue or a lot of tongue?

6. Would you say my name?

7. Would you go down on me?

8. Would you let me give you a hickie?

9. How many rounds would we go?

10. What would you wanna do afterwards?

11. Would you take off all your clothes then take mine off slowly?

12. Would you lick and bite me all over?

13. Would you like to play or get straight to the point?

14. Would you want me to take my time?

15. How freaky are you, 1 - 10?

16. Would you want fast or slow?

17. Where would you wanna "do it"?

18. Would you be loud or quiet?

19. Would you want me to be loud or quiet?

20. Would you mind if i liked you?

21. Do you like me?

22. Would you call me the next day?

23. Would you scratch me?

24. Would you let me scratch you?

25. Would you have to be drunk?

26. Would you date me?

27. Would you do it today?

28. Would you do it tomorrow?

29. Do you think that we would go any further then just sex?

30. Are you going to re-post these so I can answer them for you?

31. Would you make love to me or fuck me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5YrB7TpT1Y