I know what my problem is, I hate my art. The vast majority of it. I see something far cuter or nicer-looking in my head, and my hand gets stupid and it comes out..wrong. Geez, stuff comes out better when I'm angry or when it takes me several DAYS to do. (I am so slow ;_; ).

I dunno what to do. Fff, m'not gonna go all "OH BAWHAW MY ARTS SUCKS ASS I SHALL NEVER DRAW AGAIN"

Because I like to draw.

Damn, I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I don't submit much because I either hate what I doodled, or I have no idea what to draw. And now I'm in the habit of scrapping shit less than a day later.

Eugh, what is this confusing, hard wall before me, sucking the life from my fingers, dulling my brain? I wish it'd move.

I realized the other day that I have yet to make a ref. sheet of Raphsady, and it's been on my list of things to do for a while. Because they are just plain useful in art trades and such, and I never draw Raph all that often it seems.

So, when I went to do such a thing, I came upon the disturbing realization that Raph is so...

she's just so...

MONOTONED.

White bunny, black tipped ears, grey eyes, a little black on her fluffy tail, black hair with the only speck of color, pink.

...

BORING

So, does anyone have any suggestions? I think I might make it a contest, fooling myself that enough people actually watch me to enter.

Should I make it a contest? Re-color Raph? Would you enter?







Also, a random heads up, that my next picture I submit will be my 69th submission. XD I wonder what it will be~.

Respond to the journal and I shall respond to your response as such:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
10. If you play, you MUST post this on yours.


It was demanded of me when I commented in  FlamingPorridge 's journal of the same nature.

Oh yeah, and as I said per title, YA BETTER FUCKING REPLY WOMAN. I already know what I am going to say >:3



Sidenote: eugh, full day of brat tomorrow, wish me luck.

lol, okay, so it's my girlfriend's fault.  Katibara linked me to the TinierMe website and I am stinking hooked. Poor Gaia will think I've abandoned it. It's just so damn cute!!~ And fun, and nice, and very pleasent.

The avatar's are adorable beyond belief and they make me want to draw~w~w not furs, unfortunately, sorry.

Um, because of this new obsession, I have been unable to work on the next W&T page, but I will as soon as I finish the picture I'm working on. So, it'll prolly be after Halloween.

Aha, and I love the hair style I chose on TM so much, I think I'm going to grow my hair out for it, it's super adorable~omg.

Plus, the clothes are so cute, I can wear a different piece of adorable everyday, awesome right? Since I seem to have collected quite the wardrobe in two days.

So, if you're into cute things and want to be overwhelmed by it, I suggest you go make a TinierMe, like, right now.

February 5th, that's when I start school. And I am just so excited, damn -flails-

I looked at the program courses, and got even more excited about it. Dude, I get to take Animatronics....ANIMATRONICS

....FUCKIN' ANIMATRONICS.

Yeah, I am excited. Fffff, and to counter the awesomeness of Animatronics, I have to take Anatomy and Anthropology, yeeeaahhh, tha's gonna be my worst subject >.> But that's really the only downer, as necessary as I know it will be.

-sigh- I had more to say, but moo turned the television on and I keep getting distracted.

woo~gonna go play games on neopets nao.

1 | What is the name of your fursona?
Raphsady

2 | Where did the name of your fursona come from?
used to be the name of an OC I made up after watching Elfen Lied. Adapted it as my own.

3 | What species is your fursona and why did you choose that species?
Snow Bunny

I did not, in fact, choose my own animal. Was chosen for me by some friends at the time who said I reminded them of a bunny, said I bounced and stuff.

4 | What color is your fursona and why? Hair/fur/eyes/etc.
white fur, black tipped ears, grey eyes.
...she's so monotoned -crai-

5 | What is your fursona's personality and how does this compare to your RL personality?
'bout the same I guess, she's more girly where I tend to be more...I dunno, not so girly all the time. I'd rather kick ass than be a damsel in distress.

6 | What is one item your fursona owns that is significant to you in RL?
no item, it's the hair. SWEAR I CHANGE HERS EVERYTIME I CHANGE MINE. Which is a lot, I prolly need to stop.

7 | What is one thing you think you would say to your fursona if you could meet?
.....(wtf, five foot mutant rabbit..)

8 | What is one thing your fursona would say to you if you could meet?
......-nose wiggle-...

9 | How has your fursona changed over the years?
her ears got shorter, they used to be so big, they could capsize the Titanic if she leaned too far over the railing.


10 | How long have you had this fursona?
3 or 4 years

11 | Would you like to be more like your fursona?
meh, I like not having fur to get in the way of my girlfriend touching my skin.

-sigh- and I don't even know why I'm stressed. I just feel stretched. Far too stretched. Would someone kindly roll me back up and tuck me under a pillow or some where else that's dark and quiet?

Not much is happening, no idea why I'm making a new journal when I don't really have much to say.

Ummm, I filled out my school application yesterday, need to send it in~ Also need to send out my girlfriend's box of various things.

Might be going to a convention, not sure yet, depends on the room cost. Apparently, it's a pretty awesome convention though, and Moo might help me with the money if I have a problem because she's just happy to see me excited about doing something with a friend.

I want to draw~ something for Halloween so badly, but I dunno what.... It's my favorite holiday, I spent two days out in the cold decorating the yard, but I can't even draw a picture for it. I'm so uncool.

Hmm, m'trying to get better at doodling in SAI, since it's a pretty neat program. And I feel like I've been lazy with my comic page updates. I want to try to get one up close to each Friday until the chapter's done. Ffff, it's almost done. Lame-short first chapter.


...Yeah, m'gonna go doodle since m'not sleepy and I have nothing else to do. M'trying to improve the quality of my work since I look in my gallery and see stuff that only took me an hour or so to draw, quick silly junk. I'll try to do more serious works, promise.

No idea who I'm promising to, but I promise.

Hear that Roxas? All stinkin' mine.



Totally got up so early to go get it, the dude hadn't even put them on the shelves yet.



Hell. Yeah.



Now I'm going to pretend to take a nap and play it before I have to go to work.

So, I went to the Detriot Renaissance Festival about two weeks ago. And this was my first renaissance festival ever. And it. was. awesome.

To start off the experiance, we get there, and people around here are so serious about it, there are permanent buildings set up for this thing, which runs for several weekends. And there are people everywhere, half in costume, half looking like frikkin' tourists. It's pretty hard to tell who actually works there apart from enthusiastic guests. But it was so cool to see.

So, as we're(me and Moo) are walking along, we pass a shop with a guy in a kilt standing out front. His sales tactics are extrordinary.
"IT'S MORE FUN IF YOU DO IT IN COSTUME." His apparent slogan.
"BLAH BLAH BLAH, GIVE ME YOUR MONEY, BLAH BLAH BLAH."
"I'M NOT WEARING ANY PANTS."

We went into his shop and he had some awesome stuff, but if was so fucking expensive, I almost died of a heartattack. But the next shop we went into was cheaper. Originally, Moo said, "I'll only buy for you what you already planned to spend." Since I hadn't gotten my paycheck yet. But that quickly turned into, "okay, we both have a 100 dollar budget to start our renaissance fair costumes." Since we live damn close to it, and plan to go every year. So, she ent over her budget and got nearly a whole costume, dressed as a bar wench. I got an 85 dollar corset that's gold with black lace, and a simple black blouse for under it. Imma be a pirate of the high seas when it's done. Cause we found this hat shop that has the coolest damn hat, Moo said she'd buy it for me for christmas from their website. My neck hurt a little from my first time with the corset, but I love it.

Also, not even ten minutes out of the shop, now in our garb, I get hit on in the Alchemist's Stall. By a guy working it. He see's my tattoo(now almost completely visible) and tries to guess where it's from, tugging down the back of my shirt slightly to see the rest. He can't figure it out, and shows it to another guy who also has no clue and ends up saying, "I'm just enjoying to view."
...In front of my mother. Then tries to do a suave, "And I'd enjoy it all night long, m'lady."

Yeah......no.

Aside from that, I made a new bff in the shop where we got our clothes, she's the one who laced up my corset. She's totally my age, loves going to conventions, has horses(omg), and is really really nice. Yay! My first Michigan friend! Wow, that's sad.

We also saw a hilarious bagpipes concert of a group called Tartanic. While they were playing a few people starting dancing down near the corner of the stage, one lanky guy with waist long hair took his shirt off. So, they called it the 'clothing optional show.' And one of the bagpipes guys took their shirt off too. They also had a belly dancer and light comedy, was awesome to watch.

All in all, I had a lot of fun, remarkabley did not get sun burned, and went home with my first corset(which I've wanted for an insane amount of time), a blouse, new ear cuffs, an ocarina, and a phone number. XD

One day to go, bitches.

YOU HEAR THAT ROXAS?!



THREE









MOAR















DAYZ!!!!!1(lol, I'm so excited)

AND YOU SHALL BE MINE TO CONTROL! -evil laugh-

God I'm so giddy excited. EVEN IF IT HAS A NEW MARY SUE CHARACTER THAT'S GONNA MAKE ME HISS AT THE SCREEN.

Nothing could top playing as my boy, nothing.

XD and if any of you know what I'm talking about, sing me your praise~

LOL I SHOULD NOT BE THIS EXCITED.

but I am.

And, whoever gets my first 1k, will getttttt, fffff, art, what else?

1 chibi picture of their fursona, or whoever.

D: BUT YOU HAVE TO PROVE IT

for those of you who don't know how, you hit 'Print Screen' then open paint or whatever, and paste using the edit? tab at the top.


I wanna see that 1000, baby.

I don't know what it is. The combined efforts of stress about school, a destructive sleep schedule, money stress, missing my girlfriend and having more time for my brain to die than ever, but I feel like my creativity has hit a total zero.

I just bought a brand new sketchbook and have doodled on, like, three pages, senseless stuff, incomplete because I didn't know what I was doing. I don't know what to draw on my tablet either. I want to improve but cannot find the inspiration. During high school, it was damn easy, because my creative side likes to rebel and work overtime when it knows I should be doing something else. But when I give it my full attention, I draw nothing but a blank bigger than Pamela Anderson's boobs.

I recently posted up a copy/paste-pose dealie of my favorite characters, well, furry characters. And I especially love Micheal, Shilo and Vix, and I want to draw them, but I have no ideas.

So, I need a goal. Or a story. Or a destination. Or a scenario. Or, hell, I'll take a light shove.

I NEED AN IDEA KAY?

INSPIRE ME

Please.

Since I seem to have run out, please, someone, give me a reason to draw.

• × • ALL | ABOUT | ME • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- Name: Raphsady
- Single or taken: Taken
- Sex: yes plz
- Birthday: 06/07
- Sign: gemini
- Hair color: constantly changing
- Eye color: brown
- Height: 5'nuffin"
- Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: D: I have a girlfriend.
____________________________________________________________________________

• × • F A S H I O N | S T U F F • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- Favorite place to shop for clothes?: FOREVER 21
- Favorite designer?: ooo, the designers for Alice and the Pirates
- What is your sexiest outfit?: D:
- What is your most comfortable outfit?: my ruffley slip dress, I wear it out and sleep innit
- What do you usually wear?: I like to look cute
____________________________________________________________________________

• × • S P E C I F I C S • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- What kind of shampoo do you use?: Herbal Essence for color treated hair
- What are you listening to right now?: the kittens chasing each other
- Who is the last person that called you?: moo
- How many buddies are online right now?: ....zero
____________________________________________________________________________

• × • F A V O R I T E S • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- Food: COOKIES D:
- Girls' names: Thuy
- Boys' names: Roxas
- Subjects in school: I'm too cool for school.....or too old, you pick >.>
- Animals: hooves and cotton-tails
____________________________________________________________________________

• × • H A V E | Y O U | E V E R • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- Given anyone a bath?: ew no
- Smoked?: allergic
- Bungee jumped?: nuh-uh
- Made yourself throw up?: god no
- Skinny dipped?: D: never
- Ever been in love?: am
- Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: fffffyes
- Pictured your crush naked?: who hasn't?
- Actually seen your crush naked?: wait-who are we talking about? D:
- Cried when someone died?: not that I recall
- Lied: derdader
- Fallen for your best friend?: yuss
- Used someone?: ...dun remember?
- Done something you regret?: of course

____________________________________________________________________________

• × • C U R R E N T • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- Clothes: jeans and self-modified black lolita top
- Desktop picture: SEXYJAIL
- CD in player: Lady Gaga-The Fame
- DVD in player: Bones-season one-disc three

____________________________________________________________________________

• × • L A S T | P E R S O N • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- You touched: my mother?
- Hugged: moo?
- You kissed: berbear
- You IMed: berbear
- Talk to online: berbear
- You sexed it up with: berbear!

___________________________________________________________________________

• × • A R E | Y O U • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- Understanding?: can be
- Open-minded?: absolutely
- Arrogant?: >.> ...maybe, a little
- Insecure?: only when it comes to my girlfriend, because she's so pretty, D: and guys stare at her boobs, ticks me off.
- Random?: tutle? no wait, that's the awkward turtle.
- Hungry?: nope
- Smart?: to an extent
- Moody?: sometimes
- Organized?: fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
- Shy?: fer sure
- Difficult?: I dun like to be
- Bored easily?: ...yes.
- Obsessed?: depends
- Angry?: I am very hard to get angry.
- Happy?: usually
- Hyper?: hardly
- Trusting?: depends
___________________________________________________________________________

• × • R A N D O M • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- In the morning I:'m asleep
- Love is: difficult but easy
- I dream about: yaoi and chocolate bears
- Sexual preference: often
- What do you notice first in the sex you're into: do they make me laugh/comfortable
___________________________________________________________________________

• × • W H I C H | I S | B E T T E R • ×
___________________________________________________________________________

- Coke or Pepsi: Dr. Pepper
- Flowers or candy: flowers, I don't eat sweets much
- Tall or short: ...I'm short, but tall people are helpful.

___________________________________________________________________________

• × • W H O • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- Makes you laugh the most: Dean
- Makes you smile: berbear, Dean and Castiel~
- Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: what kind of funny feeling? D: herpes!?

___________________________________________________________________________

• × • D O | Y O U | E V E R • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: dun have to, she's already there.
- Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: fffyes
- Wish you were younger?: D: no.
- Cry because someone said something to you?: no, I put my big girl panties on this morning

___________________________________________________________________________

• × • N U M B E R • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- Of times I have had my heart broken?: zero
- Of guys I've kissed: ...................zero
- Of girls I've kissed: eugh...two..
- Of Cd's I own: ffff, I ain't counting them bitches, too many.
- Of scars on my body: one

So, this is what I did last night. I got out of the shower and put my pajamas on. I tend to wear your hat to bed a lot, but my hair was wet and I didn't want to to get damp. So, I grabbed Roderick, put the beanie on him neatly, and tucked him into your side of the bed. The first time I woke up, I was holding him, and I tend to never actually hold my stuffed animals while I sleep.
But I was holding Roderick, in your hat, so I smiled and rolled over and went back to sleep.

But I must be perfectly honest in saying, I don't think I can manage many more nights without you.

Because the good lord said "let there be no bats." And it was as it was written.


.....


I think there's a good chance I might be a little hyper. Anywho, I have just completely caught myself up to date on Supernatural. For those of you who have no idea what Supernatural is, it is a television show.

And a drug.

I love Dean, and I LOVE CASTIEL.

I have been waiting so long to say that, but restrained because I didn't want to spoil anything for my girlfriend. CastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastiel~

-takes a deep breath-

CastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastiel
CastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastiel
CastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastiel
CastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastiel
CastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastiel
CastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastiel
CastielCastielCastielCastielCastielCastiel~<3

...I now have that out of my system.

I'm making cookies, peanut butter, mmmm. Yum.

M'also trying to wait patiently for some mold release and conditioner stuff to dry so I can mix my epoxy to pour into the mold. I'm making rupees~ :D Like, from the Zelda games.

And on a more important note, I finally got another job. Not something I would have gone out seeking, but a job is a job, and it pays the sme a week I was getting before at Publix, only I'm working a good twenty hours less a week.

I....am a day nanny.

The two girls are very cute and hilarious to watch play because they enter into their own little worlds. But those of you who know me personally should know I hate kids.

But, this is a paycheck, a good one too, I was taken aback. Plus, with school starting, I'll only have to watch them for a few hours a day. All in all, about 12-13 hours a week, and make about the same as working 30-35 before.

And yesterday, my first day, I had to get up a seven in the morning, unheard of for me. And for some reason, I stayed up until five the next morning. I was awake for almost 24 hours. No idea what I was thinking.


So, -sigh- heres to no sleep and kids.

THAT YOU ARE THE BEST FUCKING GIRLFRIEND EVER???






D:
































I love you, so damn much.
I could prolly poot bloody hearts right now.

My mother effin' cracks me up.

We see this Rock Band drum set on sale at wal-mart, and my mom went nuts when she hit menopause, wanting to learn the drums and shit.

So, first, she's all "I wanna buy a game or somethin' I can play on yer PS2, but you'll be moving out for college, so that would be dumb."

Then, I wake up this morning, and there's a bunch of shiney new boxes on the dining room table, and a note, that reads: "look at the new toys I got 4 us 2 play with!" and a weird looking smiley face.

My mom bought DDR X, Guitar Hero World Tour and an extra guitar.

She freaking kills me.

Not that I'm ingrateful, dude, Imma dance the shit out of that DDR (-dork-), and laugh as I utterly fail with GH.

She just reeeaaalllly cracks me up.

Today is competing for my worst day ever, with the time I got fifty bucks stolen from me around Christmas.

Wanna know what happened? No? Too bad, cause I'm gonna tell you anyway.

I woke up this early afternoon, feeling good. Got dressed pretty in the black gothic lolita dress my aunt gave me, with some pretty black jewelry from my other aunt, and my Edward Scissorhands shoes from Forever 21 (not good for long long walks, mind you, but fashionable). I did my hair all nice and over all, felt pretty darn good.
Found my mother's note, asking me to do the dishes and pick up some stuff from the supermarket down the street. Okay, cool. I got in the car, did the shopping, checked out. When I got back out to my car in the parking lot, I opened the passenger side first to put the few grocery bags in the floor there. I tossed my bag and keys into the driver's side, put the bags in, then locked the door and closed it.
It was only then I remembered that I forgot to unlock the driver's side door while I was at it. So my keys were locked...in my car. This has actually never happened to me. So I panicked. I had an extra set of keys at home, but couldn't call anyone to bring them to me because my cell phone was in my bag...in the car. I started walking back to the store when I realized that I don't even remember my own cell phone number, much less anyone else's, so calling someone was out of the question.
Then, I spotted a cop car at the bank right next to the store, and I ran to catch him, but he seemingly disappeared. So I was left with the singular option...of walking back home.

In a black lolita dress.

In Edward Scissorhand shoes.

In the summer heat.

Did I mention it's a three mile walk?

And it didn't help that I hadn't eaten anything since 9 the previous evening, or had anything to drink all day, and it was pushing 5 in the afternoon by this time. I was hungry, dehydrated, and I walked aaaallllllll the way home, praying someone was at my grandmother's across the street who could drive me back. Thankfully, we're having a family reunion tomorrow, so there were people there and one of my cousin's drove me back.
But it was terrible, I thought I was going to black out and die, seriously. When I finally got back home, my cousin very thankfully helped my take the bags in then chatted with my mother forever (who was awake by this time), but I didn't even stop. I felt/feel sick, but I couldn't stop. I had sooo much to do today, clean the dishes, bathroom, work on laundry. But my feet are killing me, and I feel sick. But I put the groceries away, did the dishes anyway, but I don't think I can do anymore right now, not until this dizzyness passes.

And yeah, that was my possibley my worst day ever. Wonderful, right?

Well, at least I didn't get ganked fo' my cheezits.

It's funny how I enjoy making journals but can never think of what to say once I get here. Believe it or not, I have been drawing like crazy. Only two of those pictures have made it up here because only two were fur related. Like my new Bunicorn (imadeitup), the no name, go check him out, give him a name.

M'babysitting, watching my two young cousins play video games, it's cute, they take turns and still argue.

I started playing The Legend of Zelda: Orarina of Time, cute and fun, and cutely old graphics. My ever wonderful girlfriend left it here for me to play.

That's right, she's gone. I was with her for a month and she finally went home, sadly. And her internets is off, so we can't even chat but through text. -cries a little- Plus, my bed is very cold without her warmth.

-sigh- yay for rambling.

1-I have two little girl mannequins in my room that moo brought home from work for me. 'Pedokins' as dubbed by my girlfriend. They still naked.

2-I have dyed my hair 16 different colors since middle school, about 8 years ago.

3-I have a weak spot for cookies.

4-I call my mother Moo, as do all my friends now. She hates me for it.

5-I recieved my first real gaming system for my sixteenth birthday. Yet, even in three short years, I have gone from fumbling noob, to complete geek. And I am very proud of it.

6-I am a fashion queen, bitches.

7-Role playing is one of my favorite hobbies. -is doing so now-

8-My art is easily impressionable, yet always remains in my own style.

9-I'm addicted to eFukt, and I love it.

10-I have very very big ambitions in life.

And I have yet to go to bed. But it's all cool, i roll this way. Stay up all night and sleep during the day.


D: m'bored a little cooky at the moment, bear with me.


but i doooooo loooove my tablet~

I just realized something. When my tablet comes in....

=O I can do memes and shit!!!

=O

=O

=O

-even more excited now for some stupid reason-

Paypal's gonna die iffin it don't hurry up.