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Anxiety Issues popped up again
Posted 5 years agoI've said this on twitter and such but guess I'll say it here also!
My anxiety has been really REALLY messing with me, causing me to have episodes of crying, worrying, and etc. I couldn't take my mind off of it either, it's been that bad.
And you wanna know the best part about all of this? I THOUGHT i DIDN'T NEED IT ANYMORE. LIKE TAKING ANXIETY MEDICINE FOR 2 YEARS WAS ENOUGH. HAHA.
So this has been a lesson for me to never get off of my meds. I'm probably going to need them for the rest of my life and I'm completely okay with that. Medicine will always be around in life and if you can pay then pay for them, no matter what the cost is. Because my meds costed me around $40 for 3 months and me, stupid as hell, was like "Oh that's too pricey, I'm fine." And never bothered to pick them up again.
It's a life lesson I'm going through to NEVER get off any meds you need. That's just the way it is.
Thank you all for understanding. I just need to rest for a couple of days.
My anxiety has been really REALLY messing with me, causing me to have episodes of crying, worrying, and etc. I couldn't take my mind off of it either, it's been that bad.
And you wanna know the best part about all of this? I THOUGHT i DIDN'T NEED IT ANYMORE. LIKE TAKING ANXIETY MEDICINE FOR 2 YEARS WAS ENOUGH. HAHA.
So this has been a lesson for me to never get off of my meds. I'm probably going to need them for the rest of my life and I'm completely okay with that. Medicine will always be around in life and if you can pay then pay for them, no matter what the cost is. Because my meds costed me around $40 for 3 months and me, stupid as hell, was like "Oh that's too pricey, I'm fine." And never bothered to pick them up again.
It's a life lesson I'm going through to NEVER get off any meds you need. That's just the way it is.
Thank you all for understanding. I just need to rest for a couple of days.
Lol what is this take 3?
Posted 5 years agoBut uhhhh hey.....it's been a good....couple of months huh? :S Long story short, I felt alot of self built stress on not working on my own personal art and trying to get a game plan for my future onto more sturdier paper. This, along with the barista job had really shot my nerves and body since the holiday season last year and this year. Take account for all of that and I had a bitter sandwich of depression. I had to stop doing nsfw work because my heart didn't feel like drawing it anymore.
I'll be honest with everyone and my fans, I felt embarrassed to draw nsfw. I started thinking, "What if an employer googles my work and finds about my nsfw accounts and boom that's it for that opportunity!?!?" It's that self made fear that kept me from drawing nsfw again. Yea I'm a mess! I kept reading about how creators get shown old work or something they did that was porny in the past and judge them. So it made me scared....
After the new year, I missed it. I missed drawing nsfw because doing it is like therapy! I have an ability that can satisfy my needs and possibly others in return! I AM A PERVY FUCK. I am anti social when it comes to relationships and dating!!! I am clueless when it comes to masturbation or a dildo or sticking anything in me without it being stinging painful. But I do get turned on and art is a major component for me to be satisfied. In the end, me fearing for what others might think of me drawing nsfw in general kept me away from releasing pent up sexual feelings being drawn out!
GOD self therapy session here! But Imma keep telling myself that there's ZERO shame in drawing porn. Every artist interested in illustration has done porn. It's a natural thing to do for having drawing talent. I don't wanna ever shame myself for drawing porn. If someone finds it, oh well! Anyone would draw porn if you could! Human facts! As long as my personal art and my porn art are in different areas of the internet, I think I have nothing to really worry about.
But thank you everyone who was patient and didn't stop following me! I've cut my hours at my barista job greatly so I can find other work and try to move out of my parents place by next year. Plus I've been dieting now and trying to lose the weight and gain back my stamina lost at my job. And I'll be doing streaming and revamping my commissions page this month too!
Stay turned and thank you!
I'll be honest with everyone and my fans, I felt embarrassed to draw nsfw. I started thinking, "What if an employer googles my work and finds about my nsfw accounts and boom that's it for that opportunity!?!?" It's that self made fear that kept me from drawing nsfw again. Yea I'm a mess! I kept reading about how creators get shown old work or something they did that was porny in the past and judge them. So it made me scared....
After the new year, I missed it. I missed drawing nsfw because doing it is like therapy! I have an ability that can satisfy my needs and possibly others in return! I AM A PERVY FUCK. I am anti social when it comes to relationships and dating!!! I am clueless when it comes to masturbation or a dildo or sticking anything in me without it being stinging painful. But I do get turned on and art is a major component for me to be satisfied. In the end, me fearing for what others might think of me drawing nsfw in general kept me away from releasing pent up sexual feelings being drawn out!
GOD self therapy session here! But Imma keep telling myself that there's ZERO shame in drawing porn. Every artist interested in illustration has done porn. It's a natural thing to do for having drawing talent. I don't wanna ever shame myself for drawing porn. If someone finds it, oh well! Anyone would draw porn if you could! Human facts! As long as my personal art and my porn art are in different areas of the internet, I think I have nothing to really worry about.
But thank you everyone who was patient and didn't stop following me! I've cut my hours at my barista job greatly so I can find other work and try to move out of my parents place by next year. Plus I've been dieting now and trying to lose the weight and gain back my stamina lost at my job. And I'll be doing streaming and revamping my commissions page this month too!
Stay turned and thank you!
STREAMING!
Posted 6 years agoSTREAMING!
Posted 6 years agoSTREAMING!
Posted 6 years agoBack on track!
Posted 6 years agoSo I've gotten my laptop back into my room! I have an ipad that I've been LOVING Procreate to do some art on! and things have been a bit calmer since holidays at work have died down!
I really, really, REALLY wanna start streaming again. I can do fine with OBS. I'm trying to get the hang of Streamlabs but its only for twitch honestly. Xsplit is a mess to figure out.
I really, really, REALLY wanna start streaming again. I can do fine with OBS. I'm trying to get the hang of Streamlabs but its only for twitch honestly. Xsplit is a mess to figure out.
LAPTOP IS ON THE FRIZ!
Posted 6 years agoSo funny story ....
Windows 10 update glitched my laptop sooooo ......
No activity til end of the month!
Cool.....awesome...i love being unproductive.....
Windows 10 update glitched my laptop sooooo ......
No activity til end of the month!
Cool.....awesome...i love being unproductive.....
PATREON IS OPEN!
Posted 7 years agoSince Ko-Fi got a boner from my artwork and banned me, I opened a PATREON!
MY PATREON/TIPPING JAR
Oh btw, it makes NO sense that Kofi doesn't allow nsfw art due to it's partnership with Paypal and yet Patreon is also with Paypal so it's dumb.
I'll be using this place as a tipping jar with benefits to you!
If you become a patron of mine, you can get a "ad spot" in the thank you message that gets sent out to all other patrons after paying! Just send me your website and whatever username you wish to be associated with and it'll be added to the thank you list!
It's the least I could do for donating to me! Let me help you get traffic to your site!
Alrighty then laterz. ᕕ༼ຈ w ຈ༽ᕗ
Cephalophilia
CEPHALOPHILIA
@Cephal0philia
COMMISSIONS 2018 [OPEN!]
Posted 7 years ago
♥ UPDATES ♥
♥ BEAUTIFUL COMMISSIONERS! ♥
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:::Others:::
MyriDerp
Any other peeps I've not listed commissioned back on my tumblr or remained to be anonymous.
If you're interested in me doing commission work or anything, NOTE ME HERE OR ON MY TUMBLR PAGE!
Cephalophilia
♥
∞∞∞ OPTIONS ∞∞∞
SKETCH ~ $15
LINEWORK ~ $20
FLAT COLORED ~ $30
FULLY COLORED ~ $45
∞ 4 OR MORE CHARACTERS ~ $5 EXTRA EACH.
∞ A COMIC PAGE STARTS AT $20 + ONE OF THE OPTIONS
(Ex: $20 + Linework ($20) = $40/page )
∞ CONCEPT ART FOR ORIGINAL CHARACTER ~ $80
(Will include a 6x9 inch document full of sketches, linework, and partial colors of the character with different expressions, full body shots, etc. I will offer one free change to characters if something doesn't fit with you!)
˚˚˚ WHAT'S OK WITH ME? ˚˚˚
ANY SEXUALITY OR GENDERS
SFW and NSFW
KINKY/BDSM
YAOI/YURI/HENTAI
ANY FETISH THAT DOESN'T CONFLICT WITH MY STIPULATIONS BELOW!
ALTERNATE UNIVERSES
ANY FANDOM
ANY ANIMAL/CREATURE
BEASTIALITY
∆∆∆ WANNA COMMISSION? ∆∆∆
ALL PAYMENTS ARE DONE THROUGH PAYPAL (GOOGLE WALLET IS ALSO AN OPTION)!
MESSAGE ME HERE THOUGH NOTES!
INCLUDE EMAIL CONNECTED TO PAYPAL or GOOGLE WALLET!
PAYMENT COMES FIRST!
GIVE ME A MAXIMUM OF 2 WEEKS!
I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'RE AWARE IF SOMETHING HAPPENS!
PRIVATE COMMISSIONS ARE NOT A PROBLEM!
••• STIPULATIONS •••
I WILL NOT DO SCAT, DIAPER, OR PEDOPHILIA! (14 YRS AND BELOW IS A NO NO!)
I WILL NOT DO RACIST SUBJECTS!
I WILL NOT EXTREME GORE! (LIGHT GORE IS OK)
IF YOU'RE UNSURE IF I'LL DO WHAT YOU WANT, WE CAN NEGOTIATE THINGS.
♥ Have a good day! ♥
Hello!
Posted 8 years agoHappy 2018!
It's been a good 15 years since I made a fur affinity account. ^^
Thank you to all the people who's followed me so far! I recently gave into my inner furry so there will be mixed things here. Don't feel shy about talking or commenting to me!
It's been a good 15 years since I made a fur affinity account. ^^
Thank you to all the people who's followed me so far! I recently gave into my inner furry so there will be mixed things here. Don't feel shy about talking or commenting to me!
