I made it a point to read the Wikipedia article about Quantum Entanglement today, to refresh my understanding of it and ensure I did not misinterpret my thoughts surrounding my recent thinking about our Universe and ourselves and our relationship with the Universe and each other.

Basically, I have thought about the possibility that we are a four-dimensional being who has projected into three dimensions. In other words, outside of our three dimensions, we are one in the same.

It's important to understand what that fourth dimension is: it is nothing less than time itself. And time is a very, very difficult concept to understand. And this is the most difficult aspect of my thinking on these things, as I have yet to be able to even begin to imagine experiencing this fourth dimension any other way than how we do: in three dimensions.

Do an experiment for yourself (as outlined in my video in this journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7842204/): take a clean sheet of paper and draw a circle with a pen or pencil. Then, with either a different color or something, attempt to draw a line from the center of the circle to the outside of the circle without crossing the line. You'll find it to be quite easy: just lift the pen when nearing the drawn circle and replace it on the paper outside of the circle and continue your line.

This is an example of using the fourth dimension to transit the third dimension. And there are, I believe, prominent examples of this very principle in our world that we have observed. Two of them are electron clouds, and quantum entanglement.

For those who have taken basic chemistry, did the electron cloud of Hydrogen, for example, ever strike you as odd and beyond explanation: that the single electron could be either in a cone on one side, or the other, but never between the two? Look down at your paper from the above experiment. Your line is both inside and outside the circle, but never cross the circle itself. Just like an electron cloud on Hydrogen!

So, if the fourth dimension is time, then the conclusion is that the electron removes itself from the three dimensional space on one side of the nucleus and travels to the other side through the fourth dimension: time!


Yeah, it's really freaky to think about. As I've said, I am trying to imagine how this works.


So, when I was reading this article on Quantum Entanglement, a paragraph really struck me: it mentioned the notion of observing the Universe:

In 2013, at the Istituto Nazionale di Ricerca Metrologica (INRIM) in Turin, Italy, researchers performed the first experimental test of Page and Wootters' ideas. Their result has been interpreted to confirm that time is an emergent phenomenon for internal observers but absent for external observers of the universe just as the Wheeler-DeWitt equation predicts.

In other words, the Universe exists as a three dimensional object experiencing time one moment at a time, but if you were outside of the Universe, time does not exist moment by moment, and you could observe the Universe as it has existed and will exist for all of its life.

Wow!


The focus of my thought experiements in this realm have been understanding the connection between humans. Quantum entanglement could explain why I and many others have experienced a form of non-verbal communication when taking hallucinogens and similar circumstances. In other words, we could be communicating with each other through time, through that fourth dimension.


Now, one further premise. I have already long ago thought through our existence as intelligent, self-aware, reasoning beings. All that we are, all that we sense about ourselves, is no more than energy riding upon our brains. We are the result of numerous systems working together and in tandem to craete a complex living being capable of being aware of itself, of learning, and of improving itself and its abilities. We are a hierarchy of systems, of connections.

Further, I have explored the mechanism underlying intelligence. It too is hierarchical. Our brains are made up of neurons, cells. But these cells do not determine our intelligence, the connections between them do. The brain functions by making connections.

Even further, I have theorized that humanity can connect in this manner and become vastly more intelligent; which makes perfect sense if you think about the effects of all humans working together to solve a single problem. And ultimately, I believe that facilitating this connection would mean the enlightenment, the awakening of the human species as one thinking machine with infinite capabilities.


But back to the Universe. A story I read recently revealed that there are bacteria and other microbial life forms that subsist off of the byproducts of radiation, which cleaves complex molecules into what the microbes can consume. But that got me thinking: life requries energy and building blocks. That's it. So why is it so impossible to imagine that there cannot be life that say, exists in the relative vacuum of space, using dark matter as its building blocks, and zero-point energy as its energy source (zero-point energy is the energy that does not slow down as the temperature drops and thus the molecular activity slows to nothing (absolute zero, nothing moves, an atom has no measureable energy.) And if this is possible, why is it not possible for these lifeforms to be able to communicate through, say, quantum entanglement?

Could the Universe itself be alive?


Let's go back to this time within and without the Universe thing and my thoughts on projection: what if the Universe were an experiment on some scientists work bench. It blinked into existence, and is "stuck" blinking in and out of existence. But what if this scientist figured out a way to project himself into this experiment. What if we are three dimensional projections of this scientist, trying to solve, from within, the problem of this Universe blinking in and out of existence?


What if we are "God", each and every one of us, and our failure to recognize this and work on attaining our potential is causing the Universe to fail once again, from our perspective, and that we will have to start all over again because we haven't gotten it right this time?

What if?

I don't know about you, but just thinking about even these strange possibilities makes me want to learn more and more, and explore these and any other idea.

And more than anything, it motivates me to leave behind EVERYTHING having to do with a society whose only reason for existence is to afford an opportunity for diseased humans, psychopaths, to exploit the planet and every other human so they can have a good time in the here and now: at your expense, at my expense, at everyone alive today's expense, and, perhaps, at the expense of the whole damn Universe itself.


Indeed, the notion of continuing life in the paradigm of industrialized society is truly, truly, one hell of an insane notion - don't you think?

I created this page and posted content with a very specific purpose underlying all of it. If you are selfish, if you are not a mature human being who reasons beyond infantile levels, if you are arrogant, or if you are otherwise not compatible with me, you will not see my perspective, you will not understand me, and you will see me as your enemy.

How?

Quite simple. Because if you retain the herd mindset, if your ego is in charge, then you will align yourself with those whom I berate at times in my writings and videos, and you will feel attacked.

This is precisely the idea. If you are part of the problem, you will not see yourself as part of the solution, and you will not have any desire to join me in solving the problem; because you will, on your own, recognize that you ARE the problem.


I did this primarily because I simply do not have the time to filter through the vast numbers of people who are no less than a danger to humanity's future.


But, I also provide everything you need on this page to be able to awaken to this reality, to allow yourself to see the truth, and to realign yourself with humanity, instead of with industrialized society.

But those who are already aligned with humanity, because they have been ostracized and turned away from you, and who are ready to awaken because they have not let their egos, their autopilots, take over and control them will see my perspective. And they will explore my writings and videos further and begin to see the wisdom of my choices.

If there are any human beings, this page and its content will find them and awaken them, and provide motivation to join humanity by first leaving industrialized society.

I was reading a story about Victor Yareshencko (sp? sorry guy), the Russian pilot set up by the DEA and illegally (under international law) arrested in Liberia and taken to the US where he was imprisoned on bullshit charges. He stated that he was treated like a dog in the USA.


I empathize significantly with the poor man. The US targeted him for political reasons, and brought him into the US Justice System, which he rightfully characterized as a criminal enterprise in a criminal nation.

I was treated the same way. I am a proud wolf, but I was treated exactly like a dog, and have been my entire life. I have always been ordered around, kicked around, and otherwise treated the way MOST Americans treat their dogs, as property which better goddamn well do what is expected of it at all times or else.

I am no dog. I am a wolf. I am wild, and I am free. My desire to become a wolf, as I have stated before, was always my desire to become free.

And while I am free of the USA, I am not yet entirely a wolf, for a wolf is not a wolf unless it is with others in a pack.

I have but one thing left to do in order to become a wolf, and that is for someone to join me.


Won't you be a wolf with me?

I have happened upon something wonderful. And this is too wonderful not to share. I understand a great deal about myself, about mankind, about our world, and I am even starting to understand things about our Universe. These are things that no one else appears to understand. And what I understand, how I understand things, perfectly explains everything I observe.

Humans have so much potential to be so much more than we are. Its difficult for me to see where we are versus where we could be, and to know that the problem is just a matter of we have refused to "grow up." But despite my frustration, I beg you to consider that there is something more, a lot more, to life than what you are experiencing. Try to recognize the source of your understanding of yourself and humanity, and try to place that in the context of mankind's history. Try to imagine how we got our start. But don't imagine so based on this society. Do so based on nature, on how we would logically have progressed from furry little moneky men roaming the savannahs of what is now Africa, to thinking, loving, caring beings who created such societies as the Mississippian Culture (and please, at least read the Wikipedia article on the subject.)

Yes, I get angry, and frustrated, and impatient. But I do so because of where we could be if we were on the right track. We have the ability now, NOW, to extend our lives forever, to reach into space, to reach into our own minds, to even combine our collective minds into a great computer capable of solving absolutely anything, including the mysteries of the Universe. Of course I get frustrated knowing that we could have such a better life for ourselves and those around us, but instead we turn on each other and exploit and hurt and kill each other.


My purpose here is not to convince everyone of my perspective. My purpose here is strictly to find those who are on the verge of awakening, who are as frustrated with mankind and his modern society as I am, but perhaps do not yet fully comprehend why they feel the way they do. I seek those who are human, who are capable of love, but who are confused about it because they are told love is something other than what it is - a universal consideration for the well being of others. I seek to offer an opportunity for those who see beyond society, a chance to experience true freedom.


I am no monster. I am no threat. Indeed, the opposite is actually true. And while I do dearly wish you could all see that you are a des tructive force by your failure to understand yourselves, this isn't my goal here. My goal is strictly to find others who wish to join me in a true human civilization, and to share the wonderful perspective I have happened upon; a perspective, I might add, which I came to through significant hardship, or what you would call "drama." But hardship is merely an opportunity you fail to provide to yourself to learn.

Like you, I too was lazy, complacent, and ignorant. Oh I wasn't at first, but I too fell into the trap. It's an easy trap to fall into. Everything around you pushes you into that trap and conspires to keep you there. All media, all aspects of modern industrialized society are designed to keep you addicted to the society, dependent upon it, clamouring for your next fix of whatever society has to offer you to keep you distracted from your true nature. And it took a lifetime of hardships, hardships that would kill most people, for me to see what I have seen.

All I wish is to spare others the hardships I endured and share the benefit of my suffering through those oh-so-many opportunities to expand my perspective and see beyond this artificial and unnatural human society to the truth of who and what we are and can be.


If you would like to join me, please do so.

If you do not. Please enjoy your time here, and move along. But always remember, the path to the answers lies here.


Thank you.

FA just took down a photograph I took to which I added text asking for help.

They had no reason to do this. They claimed it was not my piece. But I took the photograph, I added the text, and I'm the one asking for help, for me. Why would they even make such an assumption?

This is why I despise this site so much. They are completely arbitrary in their enforcement of their policy. They originally banned me, they said, because I threatened to sue them over violation of my constitutional rights; makes for quite a hypocritical stance, doesn't it? "We'll ban you because you threatened to protect your right to express yourself which we prevented you from doing."


Well, if you want to associate yourself with this site, go ahead. I'm officially done. There's no one here who cares about anything other than their own addictions here and now anyway.

I'm done updating this page, hopefully for good.

This means that all files and journals I previously indicated I would be updating, will not be. This means they will remain incomplete. Anything you assume, either to fill in blanks or simply ignore as an unexpressed thought on my part, is your responsibility and your problem. Making assumptions about me is a mistake because you make assumptions based on your own experiences and perspective. Clearly I do not share your perspective, and obviously I have a vastly different experience than you.


The reason for this action on my part is that I need to concentrate on my boat, and try once again to do this on my own. I believe I know a course of action I can take that will remedy my desire to share my understanding of humanity - to share my understanding with people whom I know can not only believe and understand my perspective and understanding of humanity, but use it to the benefit of the true humans on this planet.

Another reason is because I am getting caught up in the bullshit, the herd mindset. And I hate that happening to me because I know that it means slavery and I fucking hate being a slave.



I feel that there is more than enough content here and my other pages to allow someone to develop sufficient an understanding of me, IF they are interested, to allow them to decide that it is worth coming to at least visit me and confirm everything here.


For those who are just now visiting this page, I encourage you to read everything, and watch all linked videos. Otherwise, you'll miss something I'm trying to tell you about myself and not have an accurate picture and thus make a decision based on insufficient information - also known as a mistake.

I have known, been acquainted with many transgender persons, and even had a budding relationship with a MtF transgender young man. Their perspective has always bothered me in a way I could never describe.

But after leaving the USA, awakening to the reality of what industrialized society really is; it finally occurred to me why the notion of transgender men bothered me so much.

You see, I would have been one of those people, had I not long, long ago instead identified with canines and subsequently as a wolf. And this illustrates precisely what transgender men and I have in common: a rejection of our role as men.

In my case, I could not believe I was the same as people around me. Male and female both treated me as an outsider all my life. A significant contributor to the fact that I did not become a transgendered person is my mother, a psychopath. A psychopath lacks empathy and therefore is incapable of love.

But those who become transgender almost certainly had mothers who were capable of love, and this is what drives them to identify with women. Women are naturally inclined to be more empathetic, and a loving mother is an excellent role model for her child, who himself becomes empathetic, more like his mother than his father.

And in the absence of other influences, such as empathetic dogs in my case, the child will tend to believe that in that selfish society, where empathy becomes a means by which to bully and take advantage; a young man soon finds himself to be vastly different than other boys or young men around him. Seeing himself as different from men, but simillar to females, specifically his own, empathetic mother, this tends to drive him to identify with women.


I did this very briefly, specifically when I was about 12. I dressed up as a girl for halloween. The following summer, I moved in with my mother, halfway across the country, and for halloween that year, I also dressed up as a girl. But a year with my mother demonstrated she was not like me, not empathetic, and my identifying with women vis a vis my mother was terminated in my mind, and my thoughts turned once again towards the canines in my life whom I identified with so much more so than humans.



The point is, transgendered people are not fighting genetics or development in their efforts to alter their gender. They are fighting artificial roles created by society. And they are altering their physical bodies to fit a role created by a society not based in nature, or in anything having to do with human nature whatsoever.


If you know someone who is transgendered, I highly encourage you to intervene before your friend makes a terrible and irreversible mistake.


As for me...I'm going to continue trying to alter my very genetics (even further, if my oservations about my apparent success so far prove accurate) to match my inner self, even while trying to alter humanity itself to meet their potential and become human, like me.

Because in truth, that's all a transgendered person is...a human being, trying to fit a role an artificial and diseased society created.

Yes, I do listen to some modern music, even recordings...


For now, I'll just list some songs I think you should listen to; both because they are quite good, and because they seem to be quite apropos (look it up).

First, is Water, by Oingo Boingo: Water



Pay close attention to the lyrics. Quite inspiring, especially lines like "and when we get to an island where no one has ever been we can get down and dirty in our animal skins and I'll stand with my thing hanging out in the wind where the water's sweet like honey".


Here's another good Oingo Boingo song you shoud listen to: Grey Matter.




I'll add to this later I'm sure...

I would dearly like to start a crowdfunding campaign, but unfortunately my disabilities prove an insurmountable impediment to my abilty to do so myself.

So I'm curious if anyone would like to help, with the promise of 10% of the proceeds going to you for your assistance.

At minimum, I'd like to at least replace some of the money I was supposed to have when I came here. I would like, at minimum, $25,000 to do the work on my ship I had planned to do here.

But, I've lost well over $100,000 to various scams, theft, frauds, etc. over the years. And the other damages I have received, well, that would top millions if I were to file lawsuits. But, I don't need all that.

However; I do have a particular goal I would like to try to raise funds for, and that is buying a boatyard in Ecuador, for a mere $179,000US. So if I were able to raise that much, I would be able to fix my boat, make money for the things I need, and also begin my community idea, as I would use the boatyard as the first land-based community. It would also be my land-based home, though I would only likely return there on rare occasions.


Anyway, if you are interested, email me through gmail using ellobodelmundo or chamandelmundo.

"What if I'm wrong."

Ask yourself that throughout your time reading this. And be aware that I have asked myself and believe that mankind ought to collectively ask the same question.



First, that humanity is on the verge of making itself extinct should not be a question in your mind. If you don't believe that, move on (and get the hell off my page because your kind isn't welcome in my world.)

So I won't idle on the fact that humanity is on the verge of blinking out of existence.


But a question people fail to ask, aside from "What if I'm wrong" is, what if we are the only sentient, intelligent, tool-using beings in existence? What if intelligence is isolated to humans on earth?


I had previously agreed with the sentiments of Carl Sagan; that it was a mathematical improbability that we were alone in the Universe.

But in my time thinking about and pondering the human experience, and especially my recent examinations and thoughts in the realm of development and genetics; I have come to realize that intelligence is going to be extremely difficult to come by.

You see, intelligence is an evolutionary strategy, a means of surviving better than others. Just like camoflauge on a chameleon evolved to keep them safe and allow them to continue their non-aggressive lifestyle; so did intelligence evolve to allow mammals to outlast other species, including the many we helped or made go extinct, such as the Saber Tooth Tiger, Dire Wolf, and Wooly Mammoth.

The basis for intelligence derives from the hardships created by climate instability. Mammals could not evolve unless the climate changed from a stable one, to an unstable one. In the time of the dinosaurs, as can be easily proven by their status as warm-blooded animals, the daily temperature swing on MOST of the planet, was likely less than 10-30 degrees, and was ALWAYS above the temperature at which evaporation could not occur. This is because the earth, prior to the sequestration of carbon and other components of early oceanic microbe life by their death and burial at the bottom of the seas, was a steamy, swampy planet from pole to pole. There was no ice, no snow, no winter.

But eventually, enough greenhouse gasses were sequestered to allow the sky to clear enough at night to allow the earth's atmosphere to begin cooling and soon winters and the winter weather we are aware of became omnipresent. And since warm blooded dinosaurs no longer had the ability to survive, mammals began to evolve to take their place and establish a new order.

And in such unstable climactic conditions, competition became fierce, and evolution ramped up tremendously, pressured by the hardships of a now unstable climate, where annual temperature swings now topped 100degrees Fahrenheit.

And it was out of this chaotic competition that intelligence evolved.


But, how likely is it that these same conditions could be created on another planet; one which will be different than earth in any of a number of ways? The key to creation of intelligence was the unstable conditions and the prior period of stable conditions which allowed for life to evolve in the first place.

The possibility that another planet could experience the same cycle of development and to produce the same conditions is startlingly miniscule. And then you have to also consider that while it is even just remotely possible that inteligence could develop elsewhere, the possibility that it did not also extinquish itself in a relatively short period of time is also a significant factor in limiting the possiblity of that life to develop beyond, say, where we are presently.

And our existence as creatures capable of space flight has only lasted for 47 years, a year less than I have been alive, not even measurable as a blink in the scale of time by which the Universe exists.


Given that we are very likely to become extinct thanks to our carelessness with our world and its resources, and most importantly because of our failure to ask if we could be wrong and what if we are, it is very possible, and I would say very likely, that we are eliminating the very concept of intelligence from the Universe.

And as an intelligent being, that saddens me beyond anything.


So, to the important element: What if I am wrong, what if you are wrong?

If I am wrong, and we are not on the verge of making intelligence extinct, then any efforts to preserve the species will...get this, ensure the species doesn't go extinct. So if I'm wrong, we'll just be another intelligent species; but the point is we will still exist as an intelligent species.

But if you are wrong, those who believe I am, then when we do go extinct, we will take the very concept of intelligence with us, in all likelihood, forever.



But the point to this is really this: you don't care.

And that saddens me more than anything.

I wanted to provide a brief update as to my present status with regards to my situation, health, ship, etc.

Above all, my health is deteriorating. I have several health issues, chief among them is this food allergy thing. I am restricted, or rather, should be restricted to eating only meat. But I had found a form of sugar I could tolerate, to a degree - a degree which I exceeded. It became addictive and I have finally broken off, this time for good. But, it set my body into a mode where it is dependent upon sugar and carbohydrates for energy, rather than fat, and I am having a hard time getting back into a normal regime. It takes at least three days to complete the changeover, and my having set myself a rather arduous schedule for getting things done on the boat and otherwise means I have no energy to do the things I need to do.

Hopefully I will be over this in a couple days. Simultaneous to the energy regime is my colon, which often gets blockages when I transition to and from meat-only. I just purged this morning (and forgot my own rules about testing my toilet before I fill it, but did manage to get it to flush. I'll have to rebuild the motor now... Anyway, I'm clear, but have been back to orange juice for energy and I don't like it.

Another health issue is my epilepsy. I am now to the point where it is not safe for me to drive on my own, when my health is this poor. I am very susceptible to absence and petit-mal seizures (and gran-mal, I had another big one two nights ago, about the third I think.) So going to town to run errands becomes a useless cause, despite the necessity. So it's drive to town every day until I manage to get all my errands complete. A complete waste of time, energy, and effort. And fucking annoying.

The kidney cyst is bothering me, and does contribute (or cause) colon blockages. I'll have to have that looked at soon.

I still need to chelate lead from my body, and cannot do that until I have live-in help I can trust. 12 years of searching so far has yielded no results; though I am gaining confidence in my ability to articulate myself sufficiently to get past people's failure to participate in communication.



I am also behind on my ship. I was supposed to be ready to sail by August, in case I needed to get out of the way of weather. I didn't set a hard deadline on account of my being in a suitable place to ride out such weather, but still. The idea was to do some day sailing; not an easy task when you consider this is my home. But, the nav lights are installed as of this evening (removed to install the new galvanized railing and shade-cloth framework, as seen in the photo of my ship), and all I have left are the helm, and securing the interior - that being quite a difficult task.

Part of the delay was the accident, which is a significant reason why I have decided to give up driving. I am selling the Pathfinder, but cannot get the last bit of work done (body work to repair the floor where the post went through where my ankle would have been had it not been on the brake), and under the passenger side. Doing the AC is a piece of cake, if I can find the time and have the energy to get it done while in town. And the guy may know a good body man to do the other work, so I'll try to muster up the energy and do that this week.

I am also considering asking the guy who has said he wants to buy the Pathfinder to help me with the issues. I need to get tires, bodywork, and AC done. But, I also need to get the title, which has proven quite difficult as I cannot find a notary that doesn't want $100 just to verify a signature (in contrast, it's $10 in the USA.) I can't go to the consulate because it is US soil, and I cannot set foot on it, am afraid for my life to do so, and otherwise refuse out of principle as I fucking hate the USA and all it does and has ever stood for (what it REALLY stands for, its history, not what leaders have CLAIMED it stands for.


I've all but given up on asylum. Every organization I contact treats me like shit. And I'm sick of it.

I'm not going to give up just yet on finding someone to help me with a Crowdfunding Campaign though...I may even try to recruit some help here. We'll see how that works out.

Here are some videos which can help you understand what I'm doing:

The first is a documentary about a group doing something similar. They are already falling apart, and I understand why - they don't understand human social needs, I believe I do (it's easy, look to nature: wolves, chimpanzees, even dolphin.) I also disagree with their philosophy on ownership. But, it gives something of an idea of what to expect (only, I'm well financed, no begging necessary.)

Check it out: vimeo.com/album/3242880


Next is a video created from an audio book. It's well done, but what's important is the audio, as it is none other than Carl Sagan himself, one of our more recent genius minds and personalities. The video talks about human origins and our true nature, especially in regards to our being nomadic. It's very inspirational. I highly recommend it.




Finally, we have a documentary about a bunch of kids who buy and prepare a sailboat for and sail to Haiti, all with almost no money. Inspiring.

As someone who depends upon NOAA's GOES satellites for my safety, seeing the site down on this occasion strikes me with the profound fear that someone out there has taken to such a tactic as an act of aggression or revenge.

It very well could be that so many people are looking at the hurricane satellite imagery that the NOAA website has simply been overwhelmed. But, as it has been down for over an hour thus far, I have to imagine that this is a Denial of Service Attack.

That I have not seen anything about this in the news yet (I don't read mainstream news however) suggests that it is a genuine event, if it is an event and not a simple failure of the server. So if it is a Denial of Service attack, and it is not a false flag, then it is a diabolical attack on the part of psychopaths who are completely unaware of the collateral consequences of their act.

There are many, many people who depend upon that imagery and information as provided by the NOAA website, especially given the fact that the potentially most destructive hurricane in over a decade is about to strike the coast of Florida.

Fortunately I have seen imagery from another satellite which indicates that the hurricane is remaining offshore, though some of the more intense parts of the storm are affecting the extreme coastal regions. But the good news isn't good news for those who can't see it. Anxiety is far worse than the event itself in these cases. And the psychological trauma caused by depriving people of the access to that forecast medium is diabolical at best.

But, such are the times humanity has created for itself. This is no more than a reflection of the reality of a complete loss of social cohesion, evidence that society has already collapsed, and we are now beginning to see the effects.


I sure as hell hope this is just a server failure...

I do not feel the way I do about the fandom being generally a bunch of kids who put dicks on Mickey Mouse because I think that it's deviant to make everything about sex.

Quite the opposite. My criticisms are based on the fact that you have no imagination in your trying to bring intimacy into your life. The only outlet you have, the only intimacy you are allowed by this wicked system we are a part of, is sexual. So rather than taking yourself out of the society to have intimacy, you take intimacy into society, and sexualize it. And while that's not bad in itself, that you do it with no imagination, to existing characters, especially characters designed specifically and entirely to control your reasoning and thus your lives.

My criticisms are not against you, they are for you.

I just haven't been able to handle the fucking absolutely irrationally stupid ass reactions you people have to my trying to help you.

Can you blame me?

So, I think differently. Therefore I must be wrong, correct?


My opinion on marriage for example. It's not natural for a man and a woman to be married.

But Mike, thats what you're supposed to do, and if people don't get married, society will collapse.

Oh really? Well, take a look around you. Divorce is rampant. Cheating is rampant. And I don't know about you, but I've never seen a happily married couple who remained happily married. And people are starting to demand alternatives.

So you tell me, is my opinion really wrong, or are you just assuming it is because its different?


And what about the fandom and art and fursuits. I hate everything the fandom has become, and I have long been complaining about it. My chief complaint was that the media portrayals were drawing people to the fandom who would create a fandom that was reflected in how the media portrayed it.

And I complained about art being crappy (see : thearcritic: for examples.

And I complained about good furries being run out, many of whom are now professional artists who create beautiful works and make lots of money doing so - Starfinder being the biggest example I'm personally aware of.

Was I wrong? What brilliant, dazzling artists has the fandom got? Blotch and their shitty methods and materials and their exploitation of the fandom? What pieces of furry art are in museums around the world?

And I bitched about fursuits, and especially fursona suits. Was I wrong? Look at the shit that is called "fursuits" out there, and what they have done to the fandom.

I went to Anthrocon twice, once in 2006, and again in 2011. In 2006, I had a blast in my first and second fursuits. And I stayed in the con. But in 2011, the con itself was boring. Every other fursuit with few exceptions just walked around. How fucking boring. So when I try to entertain in costume, my efforts had no effect. I had to leave the convention to have any fun fursuiting, because I don't fursuit for myself, I fursuit to make others feel good, to entertain them. And I spend almost all of my time in fursuit outside of the convention. The ONLY reason I came back was to cool off. Literally.


And global warming...same thing. I wrote an article trying to explain it in 2010, and published it through my journalistic outlet. All I got for feedback was how wrong I was. But, my predictions are proving true.

And my attitude about life in general. Yes, I hate you for being lazy, for not holding your politicians and police accountable. And you tell me how wrong I am. Yet look around you. How many innocent people have to be killed by cops before you recognize that your failure to hold them accountable is the reason? Or are you going to continue to tell me how wrong I am about cops murdering people until the day you or your loved one is killed.

In point of fact, I had a loved one killed by cops, and I was almost killed by them myself, twice.


And you. Yes, I fucking hate you. And look around you. This world is one fucked up place. And you have the fucking nerve to accuse me of being rude or mean or this or that for daring to point out that things aren't quite right. Yet you fail to look around you and see that things are all fucked up. And yet somehow, you ignore the fact that everything being fucked up is precisely because you don't give a shit about anything but yourself. And you also fail to recognize that you are your own problem.


So, go ahead and critisize me, tell me how wrong I am to vent, to hate you, to tell you how fucked up you are, to tell you that you should stop breathing my oxygen and polluting my world with your very existence. But realize that anyone and everyone can look around them and see who is really wrong.


Don't hate me. I'm not the asshole destroying our future, nor am I an asshole for blaming you. I'm only pointing out that you are that asshole for ignoring the fact that you are destroying your own future.

I enjoyed The Twilight Zone as a child.

When I was young, it was aired in reruns in or near Prime Time. I think it was Friday evenings at 7pm on KTLA that I used to watch it back in the early 1970s.

Afterwards, I had to wait, with much anticipation, for the annual Twilight Zone Marathon, also on KTLA I believe, which happened once a year on Thanksgiving (and sometime for the whole weekend!)

But I never recall seeing what is now, by far, my favorite episode of the show. And, I highly recommend you watch it too.

The name of the episode is "I Dream of Genie" and there is a lot of trivia associated with it.

First, the actor who plays the main role, also did voice characters for cartoons, including Hanna Barbara. If you recall the famous "oop eep oop opp opp" jingle from "The Jestsons," that actor, whose name escapes me, was the guy who stars in this episode!

And I discovered a bit of trivia I don't think anyone else has: The character's dog, Atila (the real one) is also the dog used in the movie "The Shaggy Dog" in the opening scenes where the father/mailman who is allergic to and hates dogs, chases the dog off.


And on a personal note, I enjoy the "wealth wish fantasy" in which Atila is an Irish Wolfhound. If I could have gotten one, I would have. But they are a tad impractical for a man who can barely afford to take care of himself... Malamutes are hard enough! (double-entendre not withstanding.)


What sets this episode apart for me is that it is quite personal. Here is a character who is generous in a world of selfish people. He tries to be altruistic, but the system and society will not permit him. He wants for himself, but only to benefit others: to be the supporting husband of a famous actress, or a wealthy philanthropist who cannot give away his money because of how the economy works, to a President who cannot wield his power for good.

I have long resisted the term, but find I can no longer deny that I have taken on the role. And given my ancestral heritage, having given the Sweatlodge Ceremony to native Americans, I no longer find the resistance to using the term valid.

I am a shaman.

A shaman's role in a community is to use whatever means available to divine the truth. Of course, this role shouldn't need to exist, and only came into existence because of the destruction of their otherwise perfect society (read the history of the Mississippian Culture - educate yourself as to the TRUE nature of the USA and it's colonial, fascist origins).

In a natural society, everyone would be their own shaman. But in a society built upon ignorance, artificial scarcity, and dependence; a shaman becomes necessary to those who would listen to the wisdom of one who asks the questions no one bothers asking.


And when this shaman speaks, you who don't ask any questions whatsoever about your world, better damn well perk up your fucking ears and take a good listen (or read) to what I have to say (or write.)


So, when I get stoned and start thinking about what we humans could really be about; it isn't just one of you ignorant masses of dumbasses being stoned and talking shit. I explore possibilities based on my broad understanding of our universe and ourselves.

And in about 2010, I had a shamanistic experience, witnessed by one of your own, my former caregiver who goes by dgnik much of the time, in which I experienced the naked universe, from outside what I now describe as this box we live in which isolates us from the Universe except through five small conduits which we call our senses.

Think about it. We are blind to our world except through our eyes, ears, nose, sense of touch/temperature, and taste (which is really the same as the sense of smell - did you know the tip of a dog's nose contains "taste buds?") There is a lot going on in our universe which we are not direct witnesses to because we have no capability of sensing it.

But I, for about 15-20 minutes, escaped my senory limitations and was immersed, naked, in the Universe. Of course I could not make much sense of what I experienced, but I did come out of it with a sense that there existed in a universe a substrate upon which everything was built; as a ocean is teaming with life that exists in a substrate of water and ions, so is our Universe full of planets and stars and cosmic particles including photons, all "dissolved" in a "solution" that is yet undescribed.


I have since begun to understand that experience and what it means, and have developed some theses and theories which seem to explain some of what mankind has yet to understand about our universe.

Why does light always travel at the same speed, regardless of other factors? This is explained by there being an unknown, undescribed substrate upon which light travels.


Another thing I got from that experience 6 years ago, and which I was able to experience firsthand, was the possibility that we are projections from four dimensions into three.

I didn't understand this at-first. What I experienced, which I have twice documented on video, was remembering and rexperiencing every memory I had, as well as everything about the future I could reasonably anticipate as possible futures, all while being aware of the present. In short, I existed, for those brief moments, three times now, in the whole of time: past, present, and future. At least, in my mind, my thoughts - my perspective.

This video then represents the culmination, thus far, of my understanding, as I was inspired to develop another thesis: that this fourth dimension from which we project ourselves into this three dimensional world, is no less than time itself. And when you think about it, it makes sense (at least, if you think about it while stoned.)

And, why stoned?

That's simple: because marijuana tends to turn down the volume on the bullshit in your mind by forcing you to reckon with the fact that most of what you believe has been told to you and has no basis for being true. Being stoned puts you in a mindset of questioning what your beliefs where they have no reasonable basis. This is why it is so highly illegal (marijuana is classified with other drugs in the category with the highest punishment, the "most illegal" drugs - why? Because they open your mind and cause you to question the bullshit lies you are told by society.)

So, get stoned, and watch this video:



Hint: if you open the journal via its title, you can watch the video here.

I was reading a quote on someone's page, and realized that while true, it is only true in this paradigm. The quote had to do with a craftsman of devices that are only necessary because of the paradigm in which we exist, one of artificial scarcity and dependence which breeds hatred and thus war. While the quote was interesting, having to do with the creator never witnessing the functionality of his creation, it is only interesting because there is need for such creations in this paradigm.

And it hit me. All philosophies of man are flawed because they are based on a diseased edifice of society, a paradigm that is unnatural and the product of a human mental disease.

As I demonstrate, preach about, opine, and convey to the best of my fucked up abilities elsewhere, all of society, all of the history of mankind since we first put plow to soil, is based on a diseased version of ourselves. Even agriculture itself is a flaw, as we aren't meant to eat plants. So the very foundation of our modern society is entirely based in flawed logic due to disease.

And as a result, all philosophies are themselves flawed, or at the very least suspect and untrustworthy.


I think I knew this all along, as I never read philosophies, with one exception, and only in the past few years: Carl Sagan's Billions and Billions. But I read it critically. My notion was that reading other people's philosophy would taint my thoughts and prevent me from coming to natural conclusions which were not at all influenced by others. This meant a lot of work on my part of course, but then given human capabilities based on our potential (as opposed to our current average level of...um...function), that's really the whole point.

There are two flaws with the quote by the way. One is that it is unreal because it is based on the paradigm. The other though, is that while it may be interesting to ponder that a craftsman who makes things like bombs never sees his work, the real point to ponder is that he must be sure of his creation and that it functions as intended, flawlessly. It thus doesn't matter if he never sees his work function, because his understanding of his work and its ability to perform as designed, along with his understanding of the design and its requirements for function, i.e. how big a blast it makes, substitutes well for being able to see that his work functions each time it is used. He will know it does and how big a blast it makes without having to see it.

But then again, he wouldn't exist in a disease-free society...because there would be no conflict.

Sit down. Relax. Let go of all of your anxieties and just open your mind to a profound question.

Ponder this question now, and continue to ponder it as you go about your day. And continue to ponder it as you observe others around you, making note of your own participation in similar activities.


What purpose does your life serve? Why do you exist? What meaningful contribution have you made to humanity, to earth, to the Universe? Have you given overall, or have you taken?

Does your life add to, or take away from humanity?


And please, I am not referring to society. I am referring to humanity, mostly its future. Is humanity better off, or worse off, because of your existence?

And please note that the current state of humanity is rather dismal. We are poised on the threshold of our own self-destruction. So for you to assume that you have not contributed to this would be foolish to say the least, as EVERYONE has contributed to the problems facing humanity. Yes, even myself.


How do I personally feel about my contributions? Well, given that the world is really fucked up, and that everyone denies their contribution, and given the fact that I am universally hated: I'd say I am quite comfortable that I'm doing the right things. If the majority of people are ignorant of their contribution to the destruction of humanity, and my pointing this fact out to them causes me to be hated, then it is a sign that I am in fact contributing to humanity in a positive manner both in my own actions, and my recognition of yours being bad for humanity.

In this world, being hated is a good thing. It's something you should strive for, actually. And remember, when enough people act in a manner that is hated by those who are harming the planet and humanity, those who harm the planet will be outnumbered by those who are hated for speaking up, and the balance will shift to favor those who hate over those who destroy.

I guess you could say that while haters hate, everyone else is earning that hatred.

Speaking of why I shouldn't be socializing...


This YCH thing really bugs me. I wonder if you understand that it's just absolute laziness and completely inhuman. I mean, come on. What is art? Expression of emotion, communication from the soul. It's human, uniquely so. But what do you do with it? You artists forgo the interaction with your patrons and admirers by offering premade ideas and for which you seek paying customers to do no more than to dictate your pallet of colors. And you who buy such art: you aren't buying art, you are buying control over the colors on a pretty picture that has absolutely no meaning or even tangible value and is therefore not art.

You are both being utterly lazy, and depriving yourself of the process by which actual art is created.

YCH then, is shameful. And the fandom, if it was about art, OR community, would shame it out of existence.

So what does it tell you that it isn't, that YCH is accepted?

Well, it parallels what's wrong with America, actually. Your acceptance of YCH is because you support it. And while you may say you don't, your failure to do anything about it is in fact your support, just as your failure to hold police accountable is responsible for the culture of impunity. In just two years, I had 5 LA County Sheriffs officered fired, seriously. They all pulled their badges and/or guns on me while they were off duty in road rage incidents. I've had other cops fired and disciplined in the past. But my point is that you have never done this, no one does this anymore. You are so afraid of the police that they will literally get away with murder because they know you won't do a damn thing.

And YCH exists, to cheapen and destroy both art and community in the fandom, because you are afraid of the trolls who would accuse you of "drama" or whatever bullshit pressure they use to keep their degredation of the fandom going strong.

Take a fucking stand against everything that's wrong for once in your life, and stop being a herd-minded pussy.

Or just give up and leave the country. Hell, come join me, if you can learn not to be selfish that is.

What is empathy?


It is, for example, what drives me to cry when I read enough about someone here to know that they have been kicked around by an uncaring, self-loathing society.

It is what makes me human.

I just read a news story about a scientific study recently published that suggests that humans have inherited a tendency to murder, i.e. to kill its own species. The study received a lot of criticism, but I doubt any of it was pointing to the most glaring and obvious point: that what we see today are NOT human beings, but monsters who are the result of a single instance of regression, a disease which has deprived humanity of the essential element of humanity: the basis for morality - Empathy.

Yes, at one time, humans were murderous people, but they had to be to protect themselves from others; much like today. But humans, likely while observing wolves, learned empathy, the ability to place themselves, EMOTIONALLY, in the perspective of others, to feel their pain as if it were their own. Empathy was REQUIRED for us to learn language. This is proof that humans evolved to be empathetic BEFORE we became social, and further it is proof that empathy was REQUIRED for humans to be social animals; which happened because empathy allows us to spontaneously learn moral reasoning. And moral reasoning allows us to be social animals because moral reasoning is REQUIRED for us to exist in close proximity to each other and without murdering each other.

In other words, moral reasoning is necessary, not laws. Laws take the place of moral reasoning and as they are external, must be understood and memorized in order to be effective. Otherwise, there must be external motivations and this builds up into what eventually becomes a completely controlling society.

And all because human beings lack empathy, and thus are NOT HUMAN BEINGS.


The fact is, if you do not yawn spontaneously when someone else does, you lack empathy, and are not human.

Take that fact in. Ponder it. And realize the truth in it. You are not human. You are a machine, a slave, a vessel programmed to provide enrichment to other monsters who not only lack empathy, but are only capable of seeing their own needs and perspective, to the fault of others.

Many people observe that I seem angry, mean, or hateful.

Well, angry yes, mean no, and hateful, most definitely.

Angry because I am a lone human being among what I call zombies, people who have ever potential to be as intelligent, moral, kind, caring, and loving as I am. But they instead choose to be lazy, to rely on the herd mentality, the "majority opinion" instead of thinking for themselves. And as a result, they ignore completely the consequences of their actions and even of their very existence.

My planet is dying, I understand this. And I also understand why, and it is because of everyone who isn't a mature human being, which by my observations so far seems to be everyone. That these people fail to understand that they are destroying the planet and their own future is why I am angry, and I have every right to be.

How would you want someone to behave towards you if you were destroying your own planet and thus affecting everyone around you in a very bad way? You think about that one, and think realistically about such a scenario. NO ONE wants to hear the bad things they do because they all share the herd mindset and the herd cannot possibly be doing anything wrong, and therefore individuals can do no wrong.

And they have the nerve to call me arrogant!


Mean? No. If I were mean, there would be bodies strewn about. Any perception that I am mean is a personal and emotional response to my forcing them to see their own faults. So yeah, of course they are going to think I'm mean.


But what about hate. Yes, I admit I hate. But you know what hatred is? It's a control of love. You see, one of the big lies that this society (industrialized society) tells us is that love only exists between one man and one woman, parent and child, etc. That's not true in the least. Love is Universal. You either love, or you don't. You cannot be selective about it. This is a profound truth that you need to understand.

So if love is Universal, then hate is what protects an individual from those incapable of returning that love. If you love universally, you love everyone. And that means you will care for and empathize with everyone, even those who harm you. But hatred is what allows you to recognize that someone should not be given your unconditional love.

If I didn't hate everyone, I would again be treated as I was. And what people fail to understand is just how badly I have been treated. I am going to try to create a journal outlining it, but my Story for RTdoes cover some of what I suffered through.

It's really quite simple to understand why my accounts are suspended:

I touch a nerve.

I am a mirror which forces you to see yourself as you are.

And because some pussy out there didn't have the nerve to face themselves in the mirror and use this site's bullying to suspend my account, rather than dealing with me as a human being.

My account is suspended for the same fucking reason that innocent people are being shot and killed by police - because some fucking lazy asshole decided to tattle, instead of dealing with the problem themselves, or just ignoring it.

A repeating and prolific theme of this page, of any of my content, is that I am not like you. I am a free man, albeit an incomplete man. I am like a dispersing wolf (coincidentally, my ship's called "The Disperser.) A dispersing, or "lone" wolf, is a wolf, but not really. A wolf is not defined by individuals, it is defined by its participation in a pack, a family, an intimate social group who cares for each other and among wolves, thinks as one in certain circumstances. I obviously cannot participate in such group thinking as a wolf pack does if I am alone. Thus, I am not fully human.

But, as a lone wolf is not really a wolf, it cannot be called an elk. An elk is part of a herd, and can be called an elk whether alone or with the herd. Because while wolves are defined by their participation in a pack, which is unique to wolves, elk aggregate socially into a large cohesive group for mutual protection. Schools of fish do the same thing. They sacrifice their individuality to gain the protection of the herd.

And you are just like elk, part of a herd, sacrificing your very identity as human beings in order to gain the perceived protection of the herd.

And as part of a herd, you must all think basically alike, and this means you can be lazy in your socialization, and make basic assumptions about perspectives, emotions, and motivations about other members of the herd. But such assumptions do not work for me because I do not share the herd mind or herd mindset.

So, assume all you want. Assume my intentions, my reasons, my reasoning, my emotions. But know that you WILL BE WRONG.

But if you want to know who I am, what I am like, how I feel, what my perspective is, or what I believe; then fucking ask me. And I leave out the option for comments for a very specific reason: because I don't care what the herd has to say, because I already KNOW what the herd has to say. You can ask me your questions privately, because only in private can you be truly curious. If you ask your questions publicly, they are for the public benefit, not your own, which means you are not seeking to understand me, but rather to demonstrate something about me to your fellow members of the herd.

It's something I'm absolutely certain none of you reading this has ever experienced anything like what I'm going through, but having revelations, epiphanies, and stark realizations about the truth of our existence happen to me almost on a daily basis. It's been happening for years now, but only in the last 3 and a half have I been able to actually remember it all (I swear I've saved humanity several times but forgot how each time...)

Anyway, this morning's revelation was the realization that throughout my entire life, I have been trying to interact with beings I believed to be the same as myself. Oh yeah, I've always "known" that I was different, but it was one of those beliefs that has no proof. Kind of like a feeling. And I have been actively trying to shed that feeling and replace it with understanding for most of my life.

But this morning, I think maybe it finally happened. I think I finally realized that I am different from you in the most profound way: I am alive, awake, and aware; whereas you are just machines, programmed by your environment including the society in which you exist and which is perfectly parallel to a herd.

You see, life, all life, is nothing but a simple program. And what is a program? A program is a set of instructions given to a machine to carry out specific functions. And in the case of life, that program is simply propagation and the machines are biological entities.

More complex beings have more complex programs. Single cell bacteria for example, only know eat and reproduce. Ants are programmed based on their role in the collective. Fish and elk and other herding animals are programmed to seek protection from the herd. And predators are programmed by nature to control the population of herds by hunting and eating their weakest members.

Humans are unique, even among social predators. We have a great deal more potential than any other living thing on this planet, and possibly in the Universe (I am of the opinion that intellligent, sentient life is far, far more rare than any SETI scientists might ever hope.) We are the only species able to recognize our existence, as well as our ability to be programmed, and also able to rise above that programming, and even create our own for ourselves.

We are also very uniquely positioned in being able to create of ourselves a type of intelligence I'm sure none of you has ever imagined. While you currently subscribe to the "herd mind," a set of intelligence quite below the potential of humans and which derives from behaving as a herd; humanity has the potential to become one single intellectual machine.

But this is a potential humankind has never had the opportunity to even attempt. And only a few modern humans have ever experienced it on a very limited basis, as when you do hallucinogens or entheogens with a friend or partner and are able to communicate without speaking. That connection is possible among all humans, and through the concept of networked intelligence (the same means by which are brains function; wherein the intelligence is not a matter of the number of neurons, but rather the connections between them, so to is human intelligence vastly more capable based on our connections rather than ourselves individually.) But, you have been programmed by society to be a herd, not self-sufficient social predators. You have lost your purpose, and therefore are not human.

You are different from me, because I am human.

And I am deeply upset that you are how you are, because between us we could be vastly more than even I am; which is by all measures, miles beyond your quite limited abilities.



The purpose here is not to insult you by the way; that you can handle quite well on your own. No, my intent here is to both inspire you to rise above and join me outside the herd, as well as to cement this revelation in my mind so that I am not tempted to mistakenly believe that any one who reads this might actually be human and capable of rising above the herd.

Yet my posting this journal seems to undermine that very intent. But in reality, I do believe it possible that there are among you others who are not part of the herd. This journal is for those people, as is indeed this entire page.

For the rest of you, just take what you will and leave.