I have grown older today, I will take my birthday tithes in the form of human souls and Delphoxes with massive booba (this is not a legally binding contract and I genuinely do not care about receiving gifts since it's just another day to me)

Also, sorry about slow uploading, my drawing motivation has been really low for a long time now

Just a reminder that I also upload to Twitter, I can be found at https://twitter.com/chameloshi . I'm also on Steam under the same name, though I don't upload any of my art there for good reason

If I get sent a Discord friend request, being notified elsewhere would be appreciated since I generally ignore friend requests from people I don't know or remember

I now have a Twitch account, meaning that soon I'll most likely be streaming games, at least once I get what I need and figure out how everything works, and thankfully I have several games to play for streams

I honestly don't really know how to link profiles yet, but I have the same name there as I do here, and I won't actually start streaming until at least the 30th, because Minecraft 1.18 is one of the main reasons I wanted to try and start

I have recently gotten a new computer that is actually a beast of a machine, and as a result I now have the ability to do new things like streaming, which I don't know what I need to do to start doing such a thing, but once I have figured that out, I can do drawing and/or gaming streams. No telling how that would turn out, given I do go through with doing them

Also as of recently, I guess I am now doing the occasional commission in exchange for TF2 items, though I will only be able to do one at a time

But yeah, now that I have a PC that won't struggle to open the right click menu in the file explorer, a good number of doors might have opened for me, and as far as I know, my motivation may improve as well

And I'm really really sorry for being absent for such a long time, I can't exactly explain why I've been inactive for so long aside from saying it was due to general anxiety and self-doubt, both of which I'm certain was just overreacting on my part. Although, don't take my absence as me not drawing anything new, I actually do have many draws that are ready for uploading, along with getting a different coloring program that actually makes my coloring much smoother than what it was, even though that was only for the latest couple draws I have ready for upload.

Actually, not only did I change my coloring program, but also got a new used laptop that is better than my last simply because it doesn't randomly shut itself off when it works hard. This also means I started a Steam account and recently started playing TF2 And Kerbal Space Program, although as of posting this journal, I can't trade due to Steam Guard and its mandatory two-week wait, but trading stuff might lead to something in the future, depending on if I can actually handle what I have in mind for it.

But yeah, I apologize for not doing anything for so long and procrastinating when it comes to actual uploading anything. I still check on FA frequently, so if any of you ever want to send a message, wether it's so say "Hi" or "Hey Chameloshi, you stupid idiot, upload some büb", go right on ahead.

Sorry sorry, I'm the big sorry

I'm just letting you guys know this, I recently decided to stop calling myself a Krystal fan, and I will most likely never draw her again, so if you originally (or recently) watched me for the Krystal art, don't expect any more from me. From here on out, I'll consider myself predominately a Pokémon artist

No, I'm not going to delete all my Krystal submissions or remove all my Krystal favorites, they'll remain, I'm just not going to add or create any more

If you wish to know why I chose to do this, feel free to ask, just expect a lot of words

After three years, I'm now back on my old GTA Online profile for the PS4. Just thought I'd let you guys know, so if you have a PS4 and a GTA Online profile, feel free to look me up, my name online is the same name I have here, Chameloshi

I think I can recall a handful of people showing support of their preferred characters making it into the upcoming Smash game, and I feel that a couple of you would believe that I'd be supporting Krystal's inclusion. Well, I'm just gonna come out and say it, I'm not gonna support her inclusion, or anyone's inclusion for that matter, I just don't want to put any more time in the matter since the last time was an utter disaster. Heck, considering some other significant details, I might go as far as to say I'm against Krystals inclusion in Smash, that's a possibility to keep in mind.

Anyway, if you do want her in Smash, and you're looking for more people to drum up support, then by all means do it, just please don't ask me to do so as well, because I will do nothing about it

And yes, I'm fully aware that I may be late to this topic since the Smash announcement happened some time ago

*Sees Nuka-World raider*
Me: "Hey, you, raider."
*throws paint can at raider*
Me: "You have me painted green with envy."

I actually did that, and I laughed my ass off for some reason.

Should I start my my these journals to just randomly talk and get stuff off my mind, and maybe start random discussions about stuff?
Because I think about stuff. A lot. I mean, "come up with ideas for an entire Starfox game even though I would seemingly be a terrible candidate for that since I draw starfox porn" a lot.
I actually like talking to people, believe it or not.

And if anyone asks why I [REDACTED] the raiders, it's because I wanted all the soda those assholes were hoarding for themselves.

Am I using the journal system right? I don't even know at this point. Hell, I don't even remember if I've asked that question before.

I'll be 23 tommorow, use that info however. I might have something drawn tommorow, or I might procrastinate by playing Skyrim all day, I don't know yet.

As for what may be drawn, it may be a busty Lycanroc, a Fox x Krystal picture, Slippy Toad dressed in a Tingle outfit, or hopefully, hopefully one of the many pictures I NEED to get done for people. I really need to get my priorities straight.

Seriously, how are so many artists able to easily get up and start drawing things so often? I have pretty much nothing to do all day, yet my brain is like "pffft, do it tommorrow".

AAAAAAAA IT FEELS NICE WITH THE AIR CONDITIONER BACK AND THE POWER AND NOT HAVING TO GO TO SLEEP PISSED OFF AT THE HELLISH SUMMER HEAT NOT LETTING ME SLEEP.

NOW I'm finally back in action for drawing now that I can have my laptop charged up for it. Good news is that Harvey didn't have much of an impact on where I live, a few downed trees and fences, that's pretty much it. Aside from the four-day power outage that left all out perishable food spoiled, that is. It still really sucks about how damaging Harvey was in other areas, I only hope they can get back on their feet as soon as possible.

Because of Hurricane Harvey. I live more-or-less in the direct hit zone, and unless we get a mandatory evac order, my dad (who is the only one who has a valid drivers license and knows how to drive standard) is going to make us stay.

I know I already don't do much as it is, but this time I actually won't be able to do anything online because we're pretty much guaranteed to get a massive power outage, and my phone only lasts so long before needing another charge. Aside from that, I have no idea what's going to happen over the next few days.

All our windows are boarded up, we have enough food and water for a few days, we're pretty much prepared, I honestly hope we get through this with minimal damage. *knocks on wood*

EDIT: My dad told me that he's staying for god knows what reason, but he did say that I had the right to evacuate on in my own. Problem is, I have no way to evacuate on my own, no transport, no funds for a hotel, nothing. I basically have no choice but to stay, that is, unless a mandatory evac order is issued.

Well, firstly, thank you all so much for sharing your condolences with me for what has happened to me. It is a painful thing for me to go through, but I'll get well over it soon, so there's no need to worry. I'll have to adjust and figure out what to do now since my mom was the one in charge of filing bills and taxes, but hopefully, we'll get that responsibility sorted out.

Anyway, the "good" news. I FINALLY got my laptop working again, after frustration of not knowing what to do. Now I can finally get back to drawing new stuff... AFTER I get all the drivers and updates installed to make it function fully, along with fixing this jarring aspect ratio making everything widescreen. I'm not going to be able to get back in gear immediately, but I do have a working machine now, which is nice.

It's a good thing I moved some of my rather important files I don't want to lose like drawing programs and whatnot, so once my laptop has been updated, I can hopefully continue drawing.

I honestly have no idea how to word this...

My mom passed away today. Doctors said it was most likely a massive heart attack, one she wasn't going to come back from.

...it's going to take me a while to adjust, but the best thing I can do is try to move on with my life and not let this tragedy drive me to giving up. She has been in poor health for the longest time, and this was going to happen eventually, but it doesn't make it any less painful. But at least we were all there to help as best as we can and give our goodbyes, I can't imagine how bad it would be been for us if one of us wasn't there.

I'm sorry if I'm going to be more cold than I was from here on out, I'm just going to have to let the grief play its course.

Well, I actually know what the problem is with my laptop, and it's a problem that can only be fixed with an OS reinstall. Microsoft system files I downloaded to make a 3D model program work rarely doesn't cooperate with Win10 right and will mess up the essential coding when that happens. At least my laptop isn't dead dead, so that's good news, I just have to either make $90 for the repairs, or do the repairs myself. Both options are no easy feat for me in my situation.

Anyway, on to the main subject of this journal. I've brought up a few times that I have a handful of pictures already drawn on my phone that are ready to upload, but I wanted to wait until I got some trades or requests done first before uploading them. BUT since my laptop is unusable, I won't be able to draw any trades or requests until the problem is fixed. This has put me in a situation where I'm trying to consider wether I should go ahead and upload them to bring some new stuff to my page, or continue to wait until I fulfill my obligations. I've already asked two people this question, one said I should upload them, while the other said I should continue waiting, but since it's 50/50, I just decided "Screw it, I'm gonna ask more people for their input", so here I am with this journal.

So what do you guys think is the better course of action: Upload the pictures since I can't do anything else, or continue waiting since my downtime is still temprary? Both choices have their pros and cons, but the best way to appeal to an audience is to ask what the audience wants.

The laptop problems I went over in my last journal? They haven't resolved themselves, my laptop is just too slow to do anything now.

I am now officially crippled. It was bad enough that I was slow in my art production to begin with, but now I literally can't do anything about it. I'm getting sick of this bullshit.

Well... looks like I'm gonna have to take my laptop back to the computer place to see if they can find out what's wrong, but I'm fairly certain that it has to do with an old hard drive in need of replacement. But as I said, that's very problematic for me since I have no money to spend. I guess I could find a way to scrape together some money to get a new decent laptop, but I don't know where to start getting that money. Doing yardwork probably, at least I'm able to do that.

Anyway, I still have those standby pictures ready to post, I just have to get over my reluctance to post them, it's not like I have another choice.

So, my laptop randomly did a restart like it sometimes does, but this time, I barely started it and wasn't doing anything when it happened, and when it restarted, it decided to run a disk check. The disk check seems to have went by without problem, but afterward, my laptop decided to run extremely slow, slow to the point where I had no choice but to turn it off by the power button.

Second time I started it, it was still slow to boot, but it then booted to a black screen. I was still able to get to the control+alt+delete screen and get try to shut down safely, but it was even slow to do that. Fortunately, it was able to shut down without issue, it just took a while to do it.

I have no idea what this means with my art situation. My laptop is a hand-me-down from my grandma, so it's fairly old, meaning my laptops hard drive might just be on the end of its lifespan. I'm fairly fortunate of the fact that I keep all my work on a flash drive (and new pictures are in my phone ready to upload, but I won't upload them because of what I said in my previous journal), the only problem is, if the hard drive really is beyond use, I might be screwed since I have no way of getting a new one, it just isn't in my budget.

I'm going to leave my laptop off overnight and see if that helps any, so I'll keep updated on whether I am screwed or not. I hope to god that I'm not, but "hope" really hasn't been on my side in the past couple years.

Though I'd ask this before I went to sleep and probably forget in the morning. That being said, I probably won't make any responses until morning.

Over the past few weeks or something, I've drawn several ideas of my own instead of the trades and requests I'm supposed to be doing (damn my lack of motivation, I need to fix this really bad). These pictures are ready to upload, but I'm reluctant to upload them because they're not the important requests, trades, or the YCH, and I at least want to get some of those done since I've been sitting in them for way to freakin' long (I bit off more than I can chew by opening so many trades slots, and I've been paying for that hard).

Am I in the right thinking for holding my stuff until I finish an obligation of mine, or am I being too hard on myself over this?

I forgot how to make new journals for a minute...

Anyway, as the title says, I want to make some more busty milky Pokemon girls to go along with my already existing Pokemon FC Adrianna, but the thing is, my creative ideas really start flowing when I make serious non-porn characters (like the character Chameloshi, and every other character I made for the Brolandia Military Federation, which is something I also came up with), character creation ideas are relatively scarce for me when it comes to more risque characters. When ideas start running dry, I like to turn to other people for ideas, that's why I'm wanting to ask you guys for suggestions on how to make more Pokegirls that are unique but simple, like Adrianna.

So far, the ideas I have is that the pearl string necklace Adrianna wears can also be worn by the other characters, since I want it to have a bigger purpose than just being there, like a symbol they wear as a group or something. And I only have a few ideas for Pokemon I want to make FCs out of, like Lucario, Zoroark, Gardevoir, Absol, and the not-a-Pokemon Renamon because I honestly want to mix things up some. If anyone has any suggestions, like visual appearances, other Pokemon I should make an FC out of, names for the FCs, or personalities for them, I'd love to hear them. Remember, unique but simple, no shinies or anything out of left field, I like to have the uniqueness minor to moderate.

One other thing, I was also considering making Adrianna a semi-serious porn/non-porn character by making her the apprentice of my serious non-porn mage knight OC Yoshkrydon DeLarso, so I'd like to hear and input you guys may have on that idea.

I'm sorry that I'm taking so long to finish the trades and requests I need to do, I WILL get them done in due time. I also think it would be best if I established guidelines and disclaimers about my trades and requests next time to clarify things. A word of warning, this is an attempt to vent about trivial crap about Krystal that doesn't really apply to anyone but me (because that's all there ever fucking is wrong with me), so stop reading here if you don't want to put up with that right now.

I'm currently at a point where inner emotions leaving my internal monologue at a constant incoherent screaming. I'm upset of the fact that I believe renting that copy of Star Fox Assault all those years ago (and becoming a fan of Krystal) was a huge mistake, but I'm conflicted because renting that game is what drove me to be an artist. This thing I'm going through is really screwing up my motivation and trust in people at the moment.

It's like, why am I a fan if I resent and distrust a huge majority of the Krystal fandom? I do feel the occasional bit of happiness, but there's always that one little thing that sets me off and ruins that feeling, out-of-character art of Krystal. Something everyone has the right to make and commission. I constantly give up on artists entirely over these little things, I can't trust anyone fully because of those little things, I put effort into trades only to have it feel like a waste, all because of those those little things. All this stuff is something I know I shouldn't be making such a big deal about, but my brain is like "NO IT'S A HUGE FUCKING PROBLEM YOU DISCONTENTED SHIT".

Anyway, I'm sorry for griping about trivial nonsense that any person with a properly functioning nervous system wouldn't be complaining about, it's the only thing I can do without "attacking" anyone in any way, my other option is to draw opinionated shitposts, but I don't want to do that because I don't like making people upset.


I don't like me, I desperately need help...

The raffle that I held (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/21594879/#) is now over, and the winners of the raffle are   Texaswildcat90 and   CodyTarget . I will try to have the picture finished within the next couple days.

Thank you to those who participated, the turnout was big enough that I may plan to do more YCHs in the future.

My active trade queue has been moved to my profile info, please look there for more information on trades.

I'll be at only three slots to pace myself, I'll probably make more if I feel up to it. They'll be shown in the order in which they were put together (when we both know what we need to draw), and the queue will not be cleared until all three of them are completed on my end.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.