I'm just writing this out to relax and let those that care on here what's going on with my life.

Just on March 10th of 2015 I had to deal with my first major loss of my life. This would be of my grandmother. She was a strong willed and caring woman who was basically a second mother to me. She was also one of my main role models in my life. I've been dealing with the loss by relaxing at home and just letting myself come to terms of what it means. I know holidays will never be the same as I'm sure she's one of the main reasons we ever came together. So I may not have many trips back home unless to visit family(mother) or friends. I also finally feel a bit like myself again after these several days I've been just struggling on my own. To the friends I let in thank you for being there. To the ones I didn't tell until now, it's not that I didn't want your help or support it's just I know you're normally busy and didn't feel right taking that from you. I will be trying to go to more fur cons and PS when I can cause I do miss my friends.

Thanks for hearing my lil rant and letting me get this out.

-Chance

So everyone I have added on here knows. My mate and I will be heading back to Ohio to visit my family. We will be gone from June 30th and return July 5th. Though I'll be away for my birthday on July 1st. I may be up to celebrate when I return. Have a wonderful day.

Well guess this is "Hello" as I don't make posts on here very often but really feel like posting this. I don't mind if you comment on it but its just me venting my frustrations.

I moved from a small town in OH to the OC as most on here already know and that was a big change and I did that for the man in my life and my partner. I would not trade him in the world as he's always there for me even if at times I need advise I normally can't get anything but "do what you want".

Well thats when my issues really start that though I do have quite a Dominant side when I come to someone for guidance I'm looking for two things. 1) Their actual opinion and 2) Verification that we're on the same page and see it as moving forward.

The most recent decision that this happened on is my laptop. I currently have a several year old Alienware M15X (now soon to be replaced) yet I asked what to do and was basically told that I should of just saved my money from other smaller purchases I wanted and things I"ve done and currently I"m not hurting but not where I wanted to be financially now cause of it and it makes me feel like shit to be scolded and it really causes horrible feelings in myself on top of I after awhile begin to resent the person who keeps doing it. (That is one reason I moved out here on top of my mate)

The next issue I keep having is truly I live with his family and our relationship and life is under a microscope from his family and constantly critiqued and has been the worst time EVER! Though I smile and bear it wanting this to work out with him and keep telling myself "It'll get better, it just has to" And I"m not sure that is the case as its causing a lot of stress on the relationship which is not good either. Truly that tears me up inside and I really want this to work but its really straining me to the point I want to break down but put on the guise of pure joy.

Finally its really the relationship itself. We're both willing to work with each other and are doing what "normal" couples do and sacrifice yet I do still find myself craving a relationship. Both furry and kinky and I feel bad cause I have this very good man. Though I have been good and resisted the urge and stayed true to my relationship and will continue to do so, though it is getting increasingly harder and I do I just want to cry cause I really now have nowhere to go and I love him.

I just want him to be happy, and anymore I feel it'd be better with me not in the picture. I'd gladly do that even if it'd tear me up inside BUT I have no room, very little funds, a car, a job, and great friends but truly inside I'm depressed and it sucks. It gets me so stressed out I have severe migraines which I don't treat and truly blame on work but its just my current situation taking its toll. That's why I enjoy my time away and with my friends cause for once I get to relax.

Well I didn't mean to rant and I know this is a long read but I just needed to get it off my chest and I'm sorry if this bothers anyone. Have a great night guys

^__^
(^.^) <

---

see I'm a happy fox or at least that's what I'll always show sometimes even to those that care about me most.