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MOVED ACCOUNTS
Posted 2 years agoWill be slowly moving account and art to 
My journal there will explain my absence and reappearance!
My journal there will explain my absence and reappearance!
Might come back, idk yet
Posted 7 years ago
Hey ya'll. Lot has happened. Lotta bad, some good. I was in a very weird place for the longest time and made some very big mistakes when talking to people here. Over messenger mostly, but a few comments from me here and there weren't exactly 100% kosher. Having been through a lot of the bs I have made me say and do things I regret heavily now, though of course it doesn't excuse it.
That wasn't the only reason I left. I was getting very tired of all the drama here on this site, and I got very tired of all the porn and some of the weirder furs in the comments I'd see. I do like this community a lot, but a lot of the downsides of it weigh on my mind.
So yeah you may have seen that I've favorited a few pics, left a couple of shouts, a comment here and there. I'm just testing the water for now. If I do come back, I want a fresh start. I'm gonna make a new account and try and act better than I did before. Plus the name ChaosPatrick was from when I was 11, and I'm tired of using my real name as my username lol.
So to those I've upset/hindered in any way, I sincerely apologize. I'm also sorry to those I didn't keep up with on Discord. Like I said, a lot has happened. I've been very selective with who I've communicated with on a regular basis because of it. Which isn't really fair to you guys...
So yeah it's still be up in the air on whether or not I'll come back. If you really want to keep up with me just in case I decided not to come back, I'm more active on my Twitter. I'll link it below. If not, it was nice talking with you guys and being on this site. Hopefully things will get better for me and I'll be in a better place to come back. Or maybe I'll realize the furry community isn't for me, idk. But I definitely don't regret my time here if that ends up being the case.
So yeah, talk to you guys later. I'll be checking in from time to time but besides favoriting pics I'll be mostly quiet. I'll probably respond to comments tho, I just won't add any new ones myself. Peace out guys.
https://twitter.com/ChaoticRyker
.::Leaving FA!!!!!::.
Posted 8 years ago
I'm gonna be downloading all my stuff today and deactivating my account tomorrow. I just don't have the same connection with this site or it's users anymore. All the drama and oversexualization started wearing me down. Hell, I'm only really I'm contact with one person on my friends list. And I've known her from before FurAffinity.
If any of you still want to talk to me or at least follow what I do, Twitter and Discord are where I'm currently at right now.
My Twitter handle is ChaoticRyker
Shouldn't be too hard to find. It's not locked atm either.
My Discord is ChaoticRyker#8145 if you wanna chat.
I'll give this a few days and then disable my account. It was nice meeting you all! ;w;
I draaaank!
Posted 8 years ago
Don't get too excited, I'm not drunk. Not even freaking tipsy, and it's my first time! Shieeet! >:U
It was a hard apple cider. Which normally would be a pretty good starter for an alcohol virgin right?? Buuuuut I never really liked cider so I ended up not even making a dent in it.
Crap.
Oh well. Next time I guess.
Turkey.
Posted 8 years ago
All of your Turkey belongs to this dragon dude right here.
Bequeath it unto me and I shall spare the rest of your livestock for a whole year...month...week...weekend.
Oh hey, I didn't see you there
Posted 8 years ago
Hey guys! Not dead, just taking some space for myself. Didn't mean to leave you all hanging, my bad lol.
I'm much more active on Twitter right now if you still want to keep up with me. My handle is ChaoticRyker just in case. Don't know when I'll be active here again but I am checking in from time to time!
Ttyl!
Yo, sorry I've been REALLY quiet
Posted 8 years ago
Just going through a lot right now. Quite a few things on my plate. Plus my sleep schedule is straight up FUK'D. I've been waking up at 6pm, ouch. Worst of all it's Pacific time, so barring Alaska and Hawaii I'm at the earliest time zone.
Meaning you're all asleep just a tiny bit after I get up lol. Unless you a night owl too.
I still have things to upload, and I'm sure I could think of journals to keep you all entertained, but for now I'm just taking it easy. I'm the most active on Twittet and Discord if you want to add me there. Links are on my page.
Gah!
Posted 8 years ago
I have notes to respond to and friends I haven't talked to but I'm just so down recently. But talking to them would help, yet I just don't want to bother, but then they might think it's their fault and AAAAAAAAAAAA
Mind plz start working properly kthnx
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipe.....SM_acronym.svg
I think
Posted 8 years ago
I should stop saying I shouldn't be in a relationship. I'm starting to think that it'd probably help my situation to know someone likes and supports me, and vice versa. As long as they understand the baggage I have. What with the mental health, the sleep schedule, and the hygiene. Just means I probably can't have physical contact with anyone yet if it's an in person relationship LOL. If it's long distance thankfully it won't affect them as much.
So yeah Imma be more open to the idea. I just hope I don't screw anything up again.
I mean it's not like anyone's tryna jump me right now anyways, lol. I'm not assuming that, that'd be really narcissistic. I'm just saying that if the opportunity arises I'm not going to immediately dismiss anything.
Sorry everyone!
Posted 8 years ago
I've been really quiet, not responding to notes and not messaging anyone. I just go through periods of...well I actually don't know how to describe this emotion. It's sort of an amalgamation of every negative emotion. Besides maybe anger? Not feeling much anger right now to be quite honest.
Well, I guess plenty of people need moments of space. Just...if I'm not talking to you or responding, it's definitely not you. If it was I'd be open about it, it's worse to avoid a problem in a relationship than to just rip the bandage off and work it out. In any kind of relationship really.
I'll be fine though, I always bounce back. Doesn't feel that way at the time, but I will. Sorry if I worry or upset any of you from being so distant.
I'm a cow
Posted 8 years ago
Quack.
Hrrmfff
Posted 8 years ago
I'm feeling really lonely again. Like, out of nowhere. Just a really strong longing.
But I also know that my ass should wait till I'm in a better state all around. I would just be bringing the other person down. Yet I still feel lonely, shit!
Why do the mind and the heart have to fight so much?
Nevermind @ last journal
Posted 8 years agoThere was a switch in the dark
Fffffff
Fffffff
Yo anyone here play Amnesia? HELP!
Posted 8 years ago
I'm lost in the dang hallway n rooms where you find the lantern, and the note to yourself. I have zero idea what to do or where to go. Tge door to the Rainy Hall won't budge, every room I go into leads into a dead end, and I don't have any oil or tinderboxes to be able to tel if I overlooked a door in the darkness.
It's gotten to the point where I'm more frustrated than scared lol. What do?
AMNESIA IS SCARY AS FUK BOI
Posted 8 years ago
It's, like, way too similar to how my nightmares are! Dark rooms, nothing particularly there, eery silence, sudden horrifying happenings, the horrid ambience aaaAaaAaAaAAASA
Fuck my lights on and everything but I have to freaking pause every 10 seconds
I EVEN GOT AN ACHIEVEMENT FOR QUITTING FROM FEAR DURING THE FIRST 10 MINUTES OF THE GAME
AAAAAAAAAA THIS IS ONLY MY SECOND HORROR GAME DON'T JUDGE ME!!!
Curse you Eggs!
Posted 8 years agoIf you don't know, I love eggs. Omelettes are actually my favorite food. (Though since I finally tried tempura that might change, mmmm...)
So it's so upsetting that I suck at making them! I like to think I'm a pretty good cook, it runs in the family. Yet eggs for some reason I can never get right?
Like, they're so simple! It's like if I somehow made a grilled cheese terrible, how tho??? Plus...my mother makes the best eggs I've ever tasted, yet I do everything she does and I never get the same result.
She even told me all she really does is add a bit of water to make them fluffier! Like...are you sure that's all you do? WHAT'S YOUR SECRET WOMAN!? LMAO!
Anyone else here have some embarrassing cooking stories? I'd live to hear them, and know I'm not alone lol.
So it's so upsetting that I suck at making them! I like to think I'm a pretty good cook, it runs in the family. Yet eggs for some reason I can never get right?
Like, they're so simple! It's like if I somehow made a grilled cheese terrible, how tho??? Plus...my mother makes the best eggs I've ever tasted, yet I do everything she does and I never get the same result.
She even told me all she really does is add a bit of water to make them fluffier! Like...are you sure that's all you do? WHAT'S YOUR SECRET WOMAN!? LMAO!
Anyone else here have some embarrassing cooking stories? I'd live to hear them, and know I'm not alone lol.
Its Tuesday but nvm
Posted 8 years ago
Haven't gotten a single question on curiouscat in over a month, I can take the hint lol. Sorry for annoying you guys! I posted it way too much, it's just really fun answering questions lol. Plus I have been having trouble thinking of good journal topics, and I don't really have much new art to post.
Anyways sorry I've been a bit quiet too. I'm...well idk how I'm feeling right now. Guess at the moment I just feel kind of empty. I haven't been talking to friends and acquaintances much. If you're reading this and consider yourself one of those, I haven't stopped tslking because of you. I just need to rethink things a bit. My apologies.
I hope everyone's alright, having a spooptastic October, Trump still sucks, and I will continue to flail about boobs I guess. PEACE!
Everyone okay in Vegas!???
Posted 8 years ago
Apparently someone started firing at the Vegas strip. I don't personally know anyone from over there but I'm worried just the same!
Hope you guys are okay, and that the sick man is imprisoned for life.
Its TMI Time!
Posted 8 years ago
I waited a while as to not annoy anyone lol.
Send therm here or my curiouscat, doesn't matter!
https://curiouscat.me
Thanks in advance!
Anyone read Prequel?
Posted 8 years ago
IT UPDATED
AFTER LIKE 2 YEARS IT UPDATED
YEEEEAAAHHHH BBOOOIIIII
SUCK MY DICK
Posted 8 years ago
Now that I've got your attention, how was your day?
Or how's it been going?
Do anythin fun?
If you did and didn't invite me I'm gonna be veeeeeeeery upset.
Friend is Selling Adopts!
Posted 8 years ago
If you're looking for a new adopt why not give my friend 
Zuhra a look?
She's got quite a few open, and they're all really cute! Please give them a look!
http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/.....7/Open-adopts/
ZuhraSorry about yesterday.
Posted 8 years ago
I'm sorry for that rambling outburst. I know I've vented a lot recently, and last night was definitely my worst one yet.
Just to let you all know, I'm completely fine now. I've calmed down. And I suppose I owe a lot of you an explanation.
There's a lot I've been through these past 7, almost 8 years. 3 years of it in particular were hell, and caused a lot of trauma. Which led to the poor hygiene I mentioned.
Right now I don't want to go into details, I'm much too tired. I'll explain it all at a later date. For now, I'll just say that yesterday I thought I was going to lose one of the only positives I had left in my life. Thankfully I avoided that.
I'll be fine for now. Thank you so much if you left a shout, comment, note, or message. I read every one and I appreciate them. I'll try to vent less from now on. Ir's just been a hard year mentally. I'm sure a lot of others can sympathize. So no worries.
Broken
Posted 8 years agoIm fucking broken god damnit im a horrible person every bad thing that's ever happened to me I fucking deserve why do I ecen have friends why have I even been in relationships im a shitstain of a person people shouldn't ecen talk to me I have no job, ive never had one axtually, i sleep from 7am to 4pm i never shower brush my teeth or do laundry i get no support whatsoever and when i ask for it im immediately antagonized whicj is right of them because Im so selfish and lazy and stupid as all fuck and i dont deservr anything good in life please do yoirself a favor and don't talk to me cause youd be better off that way never knowing such a piss poor excuse for a human being
life has shit on me so much and Im pretty fucking sure i deserve it at this point
even suicide isnt a fucking option since i have a crippling fear of pain and death that causes these god damn cocksucking panic attacks they make me so scared shittttttttttyttttttttt
Dammit i shouldmt vent like thia here cause people will unwatch me and think in a lunatic and actually believe me but i dont want to be baddd i just want to help people and have friends and someone i love but
itll never happen
I don't deserve anything
life has shit on me so much and Im pretty fucking sure i deserve it at this point
even suicide isnt a fucking option since i have a crippling fear of pain and death that causes these god damn cocksucking panic attacks they make me so scared shittttttttttyttttttttt
Dammit i shouldmt vent like thia here cause people will unwatch me and think in a lunatic and actually believe me but i dont want to be baddd i just want to help people and have friends and someone i love but
itll never happen
I don't deserve anything
Agony
Posted 8 years ago
I'm not going to be okay for awhile
sorry
