Damn, I hope it warms up soon! These icy branches are awful to try to climb, let alone jump to and from. Thank God for claws, I guess. Of course, I'd be more thankful if I could feel them, but after the winter we've had, I've grown accustomed to such things. Spring should be just around the corner, but this last month always drags on and on. The cold seems to seep deeper, the wet clings to your fur longer, and the hunger...I shouldn't think about that unless I want my stomach to growl and tell that squirrel I'm coming. I'd better hurry too. These nights are getting shorter, which is a good sign, but I prefer to do this in the dark.

Only a few more branches....his scent is strong in the air too. Good, very good. I hope he's had a better year than I have. I'd love to have a fat rodent over for dinner. Crap, there goes my stomach. I hope he's a deep sleeper too....

Two more branches, better pick up the pace. Everything else fades as it always does those last few moments as instinct takes over and I prepare for the kill. I refuse to die today, not after everything else I've already survived.

Two seconds...

I hug the tree and move swiftly towards that last branch, legs ready to spring if he dares to make a run for it.

One second...

Crouched, I take that final moment to steady myself physically and mentally before...

I explode upward. Hooking my front paws on the lip of the hole, I throw myself in, teeth bared and ready to fight...nothing...

Nothing. Fuck! I was so sure he was here! Judging by his scent, he was here am hour ago. I hope whatever scared him off got a good meal at least. He did have a great view though. You can see half the valley from here. Through all the trees mind you, but it's still beautiful. My stomach growls again as I roll to my back, resting my head on the lip of the abode. So much for all my hopes for the night. The only reliable thing tonight has been the cold. Heh, as if on cue, I feel the wind start to pick up. I sniff the air....good, at least there's not more snow coming.

Now there's something I can always count on at least. Opening my eyes I'm greeted by my friend the moon. No matter how cold and hungry I get, at least you'll always be there for me. Such humble beauty as you shine through the retreating clouds. So many stars too, twinkling, flashing, glimmering in their glory on this disappointing winter's night. At least I'll always have this beauty, no matter how cold the winter. Dang, speaking of which, I still can't feel my paws. Better get back to the nest.

A smile tugs at my freezing lips as I make my way down to the lower branches to begin my aerial traverse home. Sorry moon, but as much as I love your radiance, it can't compare to the warmth awaiting me just a few trees away. Suddenly, my paw slides off a branch as I land on it. Damn it, I'd better slow down. Well, I'd better haul myself up onto this branch, then slow down. Heh, stupid me. If I'd moved this fast tonight I may have gotten that squirrel after all. Guess I've found my motivation.

And there's home. Just one big jump and a short scamper up....glad that branch at least wasn't iced over. Squeeze through that small hole, which seems to grow as winter goes on. I'd probably be thinking of how hungry I am or have been for the last two months, but it's hard to think of anything when those beautiful eyes squint open towards me. I don't know who's smiling more, because I'm all but certain I'm grinning like a fool as usual. No matter how cold or long this winter is, at least I know what's waiting for me at home. There's one hope that always comes true.

I'm there! Catch me if you can!

Or just follow this link.

https://beta.furrynetwork.com/frelsar

https://beta.furrynetwork.com/skuggi

Waiting…

Just waiting…

Seconds have long turned to hours, yet there he lays.

Waiting…

Just waiting…

Dozens of squirrels, rabbits, mice, and other manner of wild life have passed well within sniffing distance, one nearly stepping on his tail, yet few have considered him, or even me, more than just a stone in the woods. And, by the heavens, does he look like a stone. Not a breath, not a twitch, no signs of life at all. But I sense something more, something far more…terrifying.

Unwavering and mighty as the very earth, this being of muscle and blood looks anything but peaceful. I’ve seen the light of a deeper passion than this world has ever known, and laying this close to him, I can feel it. It’s as if a mighty fire is burning besides me, radiating nothing, consuming nothing, watching...everything. I may play with danger, even a fire from time to time. This focus; this energy, I would never stand between, lest it cost me more than my very life.

Yet here I lay, waiting…just waiting… For I know that this is what I came here to see and to learn. For too many winters I waited, very nearly like today. But I was waiting only death those days. Cold, alone, starving, wishing for my misery to end that I may finally be free from this world. Then I was that light; that passion for life and freedom. From that day forward, I saw no other option but to fight on.

It’s that same passion which has brought us to this day of waiting…

just waiting…

Then I see it: our prize. The pang of my empty stomach, the sting of my frozen paws, even the memories of all my pain are suddenly consumed by this fire. I'm alive, and today we're going to take our right to life. No. Today is not about the hunt or the food, it's about my liberation. Today, the prize is mine.

My breathing slows . . . nearly stopping as those felted antlers creep…one…step…at a time…out of the brush in front of us…

The wait is over. Or did it even begin? The fire has now spread to me, and in a flash I realize, the only thing I’ve been waiting for was to truly live: to find that passion, that fire for life itself. And right now, that life is stooping to graze mere meters past my nose. Today, I will take down my first moose. I will taste the freedom of this world. I will taste life. Today, I will live. And nothing can stop me.

So many colors that swirl and twist together to form this master piece before me. Each color unique and separate, yet coming together in unity to create something that words fail to explain. The definition of beauty. I look down, longing to see the one thing more beautiful in this world. But all I see is a broken vase, fighting just to slow the drain of your soul through the cracks. It's a losing battle, one I can see with every passing moment.

No, to say I see your life slipping away isn't entirely true. As I nuzzle your ears, I realize that I can feel it. Ribs showing, quivering mussels, all over shadowed by the harsh music of labored breathing. But no, I sniff, hoping for one last moment with your glorious, earthy smell. All greets my nostrils is an abyss; the smell of death itself. So much stronger than last night, yet just as powerful to my heart. I can't do this any more, fighting a battle that knows no hope.

A sharp pang of regret. For the briefest of moments, I wished for your death. Swift and sweet, that the anguish of my heart might finally find a piece of relief. But as I stare past your cracking nose and tear stained muzzle into your eyes, oh Lord, even those seem to be falling into your body; but I see something. I see pain tinged with regret, I see the pleading of a body suffering, I see... longing.

Mirrored in my soul, now showing in your eyes, I'm reminded of all that wonderful memories we've shared. Such grace, such joy, so much life. I can't fight back the tears pressing at my heart. Through blurred eyes I see your beauty once more, as I beg God for one more moment with the real you. Just to do anything, or nothing at all; just to see your soul one last time before we must say goodbye. As the tears finally complete their journey down my muzzle, the clarity brings your eyes back into focus.

The vase is almost empty, in spite of our noble fight to ebb its flow. Death surrounds me, both in the fall portrait of crimson leaves and my best friend dying against my side. I have to say it before these last moments fade, but as I open my muzzle silence prevails. Please, Lord, he must know! You can't take him until I've said my peace! Our eyes meet as I plead for him to give me the strength, even in death, to say just two more words. But his soul beat me to it.

Gratitude. Such gratitude that only the eyes can speak as they stare through me, silencing every thought, every regret, and removing the pain I've grown accustomed too. You were always stronger than me, I think as I close my eyes as they flood once more, pressing our noses together. Infinity and the abyss battle as our moment goes on and on and on...

And then it's gone.

My eyes are still shut, but your warm breath no longer greets me to tickle my whiskers. The heavy weight of an empty shell leans against me. Empty. I take one last shuddering breath, savoring the remnant of your smell through my nose. Standing, I look down at the vestal next to me. Of course you would leave behind one last smile for me. Even on a husk, it still melts my heart, simply because it's from you. Leaning down, I lick between your eyes, tasting the strength I'd begged for moments ago.

"Thank you."

Night is falling and fall has stolen the warmth of the day already. Yet, my heart that was once consumed with regret feels nothing but warmth. Summer has passed, but it shall come again. Different than before, yet glorious all the same. Everything in its season.

- In honor of a dying friend. Thank you for giving me the privilege of sharing your life. Such beauty has never shown so true on this earth.

Terror, searing pain, and the taste of death; This is all I feel as I return to the world of the living. Suddenly, I realize these feelings are all too real. I need to breath! Why can't I breath! Panicked, trying to gasp, but it all turns to death in my snout. Move. Move! MOVE!

Suddenly, my head breaks through the earth, granting my first real taste of freedom from the hell that overwhelmed me. Where am I? Why was I buried? Why am I still trembling? Questions bombard my mind in a flash as I try to gain control of my faculties with the blessed air now in my lungs. And then the thunder from the flash hits me as I vomit. There it is again: terror, searing pain, and the taste of death. Only this time, my eyes can see, my ears can hear, and my muzzle can taste the hell that I still live in.

Black and grey ash consume everything, seeming to cover every soul in the world in darkness. Memories, oh such memories. Running, no, fleeing for my life from a wall of flame. My only savior was to dig my own grave and pray for life. But now that my wish was granted, I'm left wishing to go back to my tomb where at least ignorance was on my side.

I am dead now. Blistered black paws seem to float as I wrestle with the hell I've stumbled into. There is nothing left. Nothing. Black and grey are now the only reality. Death and pain the only future. Nose and maw are suddenly filled with ash as my shell crashes down one last time. There is nothing left of me, nothing left of this world. Please, have pity and return me to my grave, for I am already dead. Squeezing my eyes shut, trying to block out the world I pray for the end.

Waiting...

Waiting...

Nothing.

Not even death will accept me.

Teeth bared, ears melding with my head, I feel something new for once: rage. I scream. I howl, I bark, I gnash the air as my body trashes through this burning grey desert. But all this quickly fades as I find there truly is nothing left in me. I collapse once more, finally accepting this world I now live in. I am home. I feel one last tear slowly trace a path in my fur, parting it like a sea as it travels to my nose. There, there it slows, washing through the ash that seems to have become a part of me.

And there it is. I know that smell. Am I dead? My eyes shoot open as I fear the hope blossoming in my soul. But I can't see. I AM NOT DEAD! Violently I scratch at the ash covering my eyes. I must see! It has to be real! But when my vision returns, all remains the same. I turn left, then right, spinning in circles. It has to be here!

There.

As my tail sweeps through the gray once more, I catch a glimpse of something old, yet now so new. Green. Such beauty my eyes have never seen but for that splash of color in this hell. My entire body can't stop quivering as I bend down and gently blow to free this child caught in this hell with me. A tree bud. Life. I'm alive.

Hope, peace, and the smell of life is what I see now. Though death still surrounds me, I have found the blessing that not even hell itself could extinguish. Maybe there is still beauty and hope left in this world.

Just a collection of quotes which have inspired me.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go, but ought to be.
- Rosalynn Carter

The very essence of leadership is that you have to have a vision.
- Theodore Hesburgh

[Y]ou must unite your constituents around a common cause and connect with them as human beings.
- James Kouzes and Barry Posner

Most important, leaders can conceive and articulate goals that lift people out of their petty preoccupations and unite them in pursuit of objectives worthy of their best efforts.
- John Gardner:

There is no such thing as a perfect leader either in the past or present, in China or elsewhere. If there is one, he is only pretending, like a pig inserting scallions into its nose in an effort to look like an elephant.
- Liu Shao-ch'I (Communist leader in china ’59 – ’68)

I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.
- Ralph Nader: (independent Presidential candidate ’04 ’08 and green party 96 and 200)

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.
- John Quincy Adams

Jingshen is the Mandarin word for spirit and vivacity. It is an important word for those who would lead, because above all things, spirit and vivacity set effective organizations apart from those that will decline and die.
- James L. Hayes Memos for Management

Leaders aren't born they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that's the price we'll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.
- Vince Lombardi: (Packer Coach, 5 League championships in 9 years)

The manager accepts the status quo; the leader challenges it.
- Warren Bennis: (Leadership Guru, Army Infantry officer in WWII Served in the Wuropean thetre, Bronze star and purple heart)

Perseverance, n. A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
- Ambrose Bierce

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
- Albert Einstein

If you think you can do a thing or that you cannot do a thing, in either case you are right.
- Henry Ford

Discipline must be so ingrained that it is stronger then the excitement of battle or the fear of death.
- George S. Patton, General, US Army

Fearless people are merely fearless, those who act despite fear are truly brave.
James A. Lafond-Lewis

Fear is the result of uncertainty. Once you know your worth or your worthlessness, then you are impervious to fear.
-Bruce Lee

Hateful is the power and pitiable is the life of those who wish to be feared rather than loved.
-Cornelius Nepos

A leader is a dealer in hope.
-Napoleon Bonaparte

Whether or not you reach your goals in life depends entirely on how well you prepare for them and how badly you want them.
-Ronald McNair

Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help, or concluded that you do not care. Either is a failure of leadership.
-Colin Powell

Arrange everything so that the strong have something to yearn for and the weak have nothing to run from.
-The Rule of St. Benedict

Life is either a daring adventure, or it is nothing.
~ Helen Keller

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
~ Albert Einstein

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
~ Zig Ziglar

An active mind cannot exist in an inactive body.
-George S Patton, General, U.S. Army-

War make extremely heavy demands on the soldiers strength and nerves. For this reason, make heavy demands on your men in peacetime exercises.
-German Field Marshall Erwin Rommel-

A pint of sweat saves a gallon of blood.
-George S Patton, General, U.S. Army

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man who committed a mistake and does not correct it is committing another mistake.
-Confucius-

My deepest fear is that I’ll look back on my life and wonder what I did with it.
-USAF Quote-

There’s a great deal of talk about loyalty from the bottom to the top. Loyalty from the top down is even more necessary and is much less prevalent. One of the most frequently noted characteristics of great men who have remained great is loyalty to their subordinates.
-George S Patton, General, U.S. Army-

If you’re going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do…The body is never tired if the mind is not tired.
-George S Patton, General, U.S. Army-

Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.
-George Washington Carver, Scientist-

You’re never beaten until you admit it.
-George S Patton, General, U.S. Army-

The harder you work the harder it is to quit.
-Vince Lombardi-

Success in life is a matter not so much of talent as of concentration and perseverance.
-C.W. Wendte-

Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.
-Oliver Goldsmith-

To get through the hardest journey we need only take one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping.
-Chinese Proverb-

The reason some people don’t recognize opportunity is because it usually disguised as hard work.
-Unknown-

Obstacles are those frightening things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
-Henry Ford-

Courage is doing what you’re afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you’re scared.
-Eddie Rickenbacker-

The highest reward for a mans toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it.
-John Ruskin-

If you live each day as if it were your last, one day you’ll most certainly be right.
-Steve Jobs

“I failed” is ten times more of a man than someone who says “what if”, ‘cause “what if” never went to the arena.
-Greg Plitt

Fear is self imposed, meaning it doesn’t exist. You create it, then you can destroy it too.
-Greg Plitt

Would you follow you?
-Jaret Grossman

If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.
-African Proverb

But if you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, and if they can’t stop you, then you become something else entirely… Legend…
-Ra’s Al Ghul

The secret to getting ahead is getting started.
-Mark Twain

I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.
-Booker T. Washington

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.
-Confucius

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.
-Denis Waitley

A ship in port is safe, but that is not what ships are for.
-Grace Murray Hopper

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something in your life.
-Winston Churchill

I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble.
-Helen Keller

Motivation is everything. You can do the work of two people, but you can’t be two people. Instead, you have to inspire the next guy down the line and get him to inspire his people.
-Lee Lacocca

Thank God I have done my duty.
-Horatio Nelson

Pain is inevitable. Misery is optional.
-Jenny McMillan

Get up and train while your opponent is sleeping.
-Roberto Rodriguez

It is the characteristic excellence of the strong man that can bring momentous issues to the fore and make a decision about them. The weak are always forced to decide between alternatives they have not chosen themselves.
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Everyone who’s ever taken a shower has had an idea. It’s the person who gets out of the shower, dries off, and does something about it who makes a difference.
-Nolan Bushnell

Do not fear competition. Welcome it, embrace it, and then destroy it.
-Captain Sims

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
-Aristotle

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
-Winston Churchill

Love is not an emotion. Love is a promise.
-Steven Moffat

What do monsters have nightmares about? Me!
-Steven Moffat

To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour.
-Winston S. Churchill

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
-Bruce Lee

Since it is so likely that children will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage.
-C.S. Lewis

Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming things you thought you couldn't.
-Rikki Rogers

Victorious warriors win first then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first then seek to win.
-Sun Tzu

I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silent hurt more.
-C.S. Lewis

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. I will face my fear and let it pass through me. After the fear, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
- Frank Herbert

The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.
-Wilhelm Stekel

When it is a question of God's almighty Spirit, never say, 'I can't’.
-Oswald Chambers

There can be no freedom without the freedom to fail
-Erich Fromm


So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.
When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
~ Chief Tecumseh

Just something I found inspiring from
https://theshadowguardian.wordpress.com/

All those in the warm light would see is a silhouette; a shape surrounded by a ring of light. No details, no color, just a reminder that somewhere, something is making that shape; that void form. In the light I’d be invisible. And why? Because those who are warm and safe do not need me. They are safe in the rays of the sun. But those of us who have stepped away, who have found ourselves consumed by the black, hallow void, we know what pain truly means. Those that are still in the dark forever remain lost. That is, unless they can fight their way back into the light. But we all need that direction, that small glimmer at the edge of the darkness. We need something to walk towards.

Let me bring that glimmer of hope, that piece of sunshine to those who remain consumed. For a shadow always has an edge, a halo surrounding it. But here, here is where the shadow takes shape. For it is only in the dark that you can see into the shadow. There, within the ring of light, you will find a beaten, bruised, and scarred form reaching down to hold your hand, to embrace you, and walk you towards that light, that hope. Those marks came from the dark and, here in the void, they are displayed proudly as a lesson; a warning of what the darkness is capable of. Let me be that shadow. Let me be that tried and tired warrior sent to bring those out of the dark and into the warmth of the sun. Let me guard the lost and broken. Let me help the hurt and free the lost.

Let me be the Shadow Guardian.