Then I pushed back and found out how much more I can take.
What a crazy year and one hell of a ride that had me hanging on for dear life
screaming the entire way. I think the simplest way to break it all down is to look at
it separately - the good and the bad:

The Bad:
-Nearly had to drop out of school when life swept me off my feet
- My 67 Mustang is one of the most important things in my life; this year I had to garage her after she broke down on the side of the road. She is still not operational.
-I spent nearly a week by my boyfriend's side in a hospital bed, wondering if he was going to succumb to bacterial pneumonia.
-Wanted to give up a strong running passion of mine - surfing - because of insecurities and injuries I obtained through my experiences.
-Struggled to get our life back on track when my partner and I lost our entire savings - twice.
-Difficulties, misunderstandings and pride threatened to tear my relationship apart.
-Feeling helpless when trying to console Tams when he lost his job.
-Experienced the very real possibility of losing my home due to inability to pay rent.
-Stretched my financial resources so thin for the first time I was actually 'broke'.
-Saw the effects of wildfires devastate my home away from home.
-Was unappreciated and undermined by a team of people I considered friends and colleagues.
-Kidney stones!
-Feared having to push one of my best friends out of the picture when things turned violent against me.

Perhaps that's a fair enough review of the bad; I like to see happy endings where possible and given life's nature, I'm aware of how hard that is to find. Seeing the above list and reliving some of those feelings as memories in my mind - it's kind of amazing that there's anything good to say at all. Life is what you make of it though and how you choose to see the ending; a little well timed statistical probability doesn't hurt either (certainly I would not attribute the following list to luck').

The Good:
-Moved into my wonderful new home by February of 2017; a goal I made for myself the previous year. My partner, our roommate and I just signed a two year lease.
-Began to learn how to fly a small plane. Tams and I have each earned 7 hours and our instructor is preparing us to solo.
-Took on the role of chief engineer for my second year in a project that puts a small payload into the stratosphere for experimentation. This upcoming year, the reins were passed to me. I'm currently the project manager for a project awaiting approval of our proposal.
-Just finished every available math course at my school. From Calc I to Linear Algebra, to Differential Equations, I'm done and had no grade drop below a C.
-Got to travel much of the western United States; drove across 5 states and 3 days and adventured through mountains and deserts with my partner.
-Picked up a new temporary car in Tahoe and spent a few days enjoying the lake and surrounding area.
-Went to Sn Francisco three times, really got to see more of it than I ever have before.
-Visited famed surfing spot Mavericks in Half Moon bay California and got to witness the power of the ocean first hand.
-Began to hopefully make some new friends who share in one another's interest.
-Had a fantastic Christmas and was able to get everyone gifts. Spent it in our new place and independently for the first time.
-Adopted a beautiful red tail boa who seems healthy and well tempered.
-Sat on a professional panel for manufacturing in front of a crowd of 600.
-Helped discover and exo-planet.
-Surfed often and reconnected with the sport and the ocean.

Tough even with all of those things, they hardly compare to what has been the BEST thing to happen to me two years running and that's my relationship with Tams.

It's needless to say I wouldn't have been able to do 75% of what I've done this year without him. 2017 really put us both through the paces and I'm certain that I'm walking away from it with a better definition of what love is; especially experiencing it first hand. Despite the struggles and the hardships, all the trials and tribulations, through the nights we fought to the nights we held each other. The uncertainty of the future and the darkest places we could ever imagine being. Through fear and misunderstanding, so many unanswered questions, the notion that love is difficult, relationships are hard work, and perfection continues to elude all of us. We found the light in one another. We were there to guide the other's lost soul; we are each other;s strength where we are weak and together, that makes us whole. I celebrated our first year together with you despite all odds and all circumstances trying to tear us apart. I'm going to spend a good part of my life truing to figure out how to express what these words do so poorly as describing. You are my everything, you are someone nobody else could dream of filling and your importance to me is unmatched, unchallenged and not threatened. You couldn't possible be any more to me than you already are because you've already been more to me than I could have ever expected. Thanks for enduring the journey with me, I know it's been one hell of a tough year; I wouldn't have been able to pull through without you. I love you, man, I really do.
I'm not going to make any forecasts or predictions for the new year; I know what it is I want to do and where I'd like to go and that's enough. Life's an awful lot like a wave and you can't fight the current; all you can do is work with it and stay calm when it holds you under. I'm hoping it'll be smoother sailing this time around.

Peace 2017, it's been real
Wishing you all a Happy Near Year's and an even better 2018. Bring on the year of the DOG!

Woo! Travel time!
The first half of this semester has just flown by, it's nice to have some down time to catch my breath a little.
No physics? No engineering? No calculus? What ever will I do with myself?
Oh, I'm sure I'll figure it out.
So I'm off to the East Coast, thaaat's right. I'm going to touch everything with my California hands
Probably get In n Out sauce all over. Haah.
Going to see the shep and check out the state for a few days.
Thank you again for hosting me! I'm looking forward to spending time with you. ♥
Then I'm off to DC for the remainder of the week in order to attend an academic convention; 4,000 of us from around the world!
Certainly beats sitting around, though I'll miss this weather right now.
The surf is pretty amazing, too. You understand don't you California?
I'm excited, this is just what I needed to get over that mid-semester hump. :3
Hope anyone else on spring break is doing something fun or at least taking the time to rest!
For everyone else, have a good week too! Take some time and get outside, especially if you're in Cali.
Also awaiting a new piece from which I think you all will enjoy! Stay tuned~
Catch ya on the flip side!
-Gen

Hi,
So a friend of mine, is trying to better his life and is in the pursuit of his dreams, something everyone should be doing and is nonetheless a noble quest. He is not in the best position to make these changes happen alone, he needs your help. A Gofund me has been established in the hopes that he'll be able to get on to the next phase of his life. Please consider helping him out, I'm sure anything would help, even if you simply spread the word.

Here's a direct link to the journal for anyone interested: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7410062/
Do whatever you can, everyone. He's a good guy with some really ambitious dreams. We all need a little help unlocking our potential, we all need a boost to reach the stars.
Thank you <3

Woof! :3
So usually I don't do much of the whole Valentine's Day, though I thought I'd switch it up a little! Since one person doesn't hold my heart, I thought I'd just sorta distribute it to many people! Happy Valentine's Day everyone; single and taken alike! Though of course the occasion has also got me thinking about past romance, and I believe it's healthy to reflect every now and then. I filled out one of those silly little survey things because, well, it certainly covers a lot of bases! I feel like I should tag people... oh whatever, ya'll are adults, steal if you want :p.

Also, to the last guy who held my heart: I'm thinkin' about you today, too! Hoping all is well and that you're happy! I'm using today to remember with fondness the times that made me the happiest, and it's done a lot of good for my soul. I hope you too can look back and feel the same; there were definitely a lot of moments worth smiling over.



Are you single,taken, married etc. - Nobody's put a ring on it :c

Do you like it? - Nahh

How long was your longest relationship? - Three years.

Why do you think it lasted so long? - Be..cause I'm reluctant to let go?

What do you think the "key" is to relationships - Trust, Communication, Understanding, Acceptance. Without a doubt.

Whats your shortest relationship - Eh, it was probably a couple weeks tbh :v

Why did it not last? - Probably just better off as friends, there was very little romance and things in the way that would have made it feel like an actual relationship.

How many times have you been dumped? - Uhm...at least five or six times

How many times have you dumped someone else? - At least three

How many boys have you dated? - ALL OF THEM. Well, the math above says 9. I'm cool with that

How many girls? - One or two, actually!

Do you miss any of your exs? - Yeah, I do. At least a couple.

Have you ever dated someone to use them? - That's not what you date for!

Have you cheated before? - Never

Do you like to date people like you? - Yeah, actually!

Have you ever been in love? - I'd... definitely like to think so. Pretty certain.

Ever gotten a broken heart? - Assuming there is another configuration for it..? Lol

Whats the stupidest thing you've ever done because of a boy/girl? - Drank myself pretty damn stupid

Do you regret this? - Yes and no. I think it leans more towards the former, though!

Whats the worst characteristic in a boy/ girl? - Lack of: commitment, communication, have your pick. Or being two-faced. Fuck that.

Whats the best? - Loyalty

Whats the best hair color? - It doesn't really matter, rock it! Though blonde is pretty hot.~

Whats the best eye color? - Something bright, definitely a soft spot for green. <3

Do looks or personality come first? - Personality, but physical attraction needs to be present too!

Do you like more mature or less mature? - More mature, for sure.

Whats your favorite thing to do with your love? - Stargazing is pretty great. That's both astronomy and cuddling related!

Whats the best thing you've ever been called by a love? - All those pet names are my weakness, GUH.

Do you forgive liars? - Dude, I seriously forgive anyone. I can't hold grudges.

Have you ever felt that your love deserves better? - Yeah, there once was a time, until I realized how hurtful that can be.

Do you like the jealous types? - I think it can be kind of cute! At least, there's obviously a fine line.

Do you give second chances? - If you really captured my heart, yes.

As some of you know, I've been writing poetry for years, usually reserved for distribution by request. A lot of my work remains out of the public eye, it is here within these texts that I transcend an...emotional nirvana if you would. I speak fluently and unreserved through this medium; in broken sentences, distant metaphors, and similes. I liked this one, got a real positive vibe from it and it touches me. Perhaps it will touch you as well. Interpret it to your heart's content, find its meaning within yourself. I'm glad to get the opportunity to share these most intimate of words with you all now, for the first time.



Flicker

A flash of light compliments the twilight
It is but a flicker,
A hope
A dream
A wish.
A star is falling
Just long enough past our vision
To make us believe it were flying.
For only in that moment
the serene silence
does it have to.
From millions of miles
Through the far flung reaches of the universe
To kiss our night sky with radiance
Effervescent
Evanescent;
The violence of its journey
The intensity of its plummet
Our gravity
Is the same delicacy as dandelion seeds on a spring's breeze.
Lifting
Soaring
Flying,
The sky is our freedom, take to it in the twinkling backdrop
Everything that ever was, or ever will be.
Hot
Burning
Intensity
Shower the world with the gift of hopeful thoughts
Celestial prayers
Stardust
So much more miraculous than a coin flipping
Tumbling
Sinking into the depths of a shallow pool
The cost of wishing upon a shooting star
Is free
Free
Free is its path across the sky
Free is the hopes that the night will last
Just a little longer
Just a little quieter
Just another flicker
Wrap us under that cosmic frontier
A blanket of the night
Space and time interwoven so delicately
Like fingers
Older than the earth itself
Oh, the stories they could tell
These pieces are silent
Reserved to only tell our story, for all eternity.
A falling star has been caught
Keep it safe
Keep its secrets
Feel its warmth, long after it has cooled
The tarnish tells us where it's been
Before finding the safety of us
Connected from a source we can only imagine
Through distances incomprehensible
Unfathomable
Compared to the measly rock that divides.
Wish
Hands cupped
Silent as silver
Louder than the ring of iron
The same thing I'd always wish
Always
In a heartbeat
-
It is but a flicker
...
Gen~

<3

This last year has been pretty crazy, more in terms with the amount of work I managed to do and how far along I've progressed in the pursuit of my endeavors. It was a year of eye opening experiences and tested my resilience in a myriad of ways. I witnessed some of the most profound things in my life to date and pushed the limits of my perseverance. I undertook many leadership positions which tested everything I have learned in my life and found that I'm quite good at it. There were also some crushing blows, failures, emotional and physical sickness; as it currently stands, most have waned. I also took on a whole new role - the one you know as Genuine. He has helped me reflect on my progress, who I've become, who I am now, and who I want to be. I've been in the fandom ten years now, and Genuine in the short year he's been around feels far more personal, and close to me than any other character. I have to look back on the occurrences of last year and smile a bit now, knowing I wouldn't be here without them happening - good and bad. They've changed me. I was torn to pieces when the love of my life fell out of love with me. I have spent this year in recovery; finding myself in so many new and interesting ways. I kept my nose to the grindstone, trying to prove to myself I'm worth it, my happiness is important, and so are my goals, my dreams, my being, my life. From the debris I've rebuilt myself; maybe I'm not fully strong yet, but I feel much more determined, more willing, more optimistic. Strength will come, so long as I don't deter from my current path, and never stop trying. I fostered the growth of new relationships, I have many new friends which I'll take with me into the new year: You have all been true friends to me, I am forever grateful of your continued support. I sense 2016 is going to be a great new full of new opportunities and challenges unlike those I've ever faced before. I'm glad that you guys are there, for the first time in a long time I feel like I belong here; which could not mean any more to me. I love you guys, and wish you success and happiness through this up and coming year - to infinity, and beyond.

This new year will entail academic excellence, traveling, jobs and internships, socialization and friendships, money, a better sense f self, a greater independence, and the potential for love. I will continue to succeed in my classes as they become further difficult, I want to save my money and obtain a pilots license, I will to get out of my head more, be sociable, and bring good, healthy people into my life, I will grow, develop and discover more about myself and the universe that connects us all, I will do more to give back, to help those in need and to be grateful for what I have. I will take better care of myself so I can see this bright future ahead of me unfold, I will continue to work on myself, to admire my traits and improve my flaws, I will undo the damage the bad in my life has done, I will be strong.

My name is Genuine, I'm twenty-three years old, I am growing, I am worthy, I matter, I exist and I am ready. The world is my sandbox and I will build from it the life I deserve with the tools the universe provides for me. I am amazing, and so are all of you. Whatever you're going through right now, use it as fuel, to gain momentum. The friction that is drama, hardship, and despair will not stop you if inside you burns something so strong that you fight the resistance and continue on. You are all powerful, but not invincible. Take help when it is offered, condition yourself, love yourself, and keep those who deserve it close to you. Don't be taken advantage of, don't settle, and don't hold out - take the chance, make the leap, and fall head first into greatness. Life is short, live it. Learn it. Love it.

2015: 4/5 stars

2016! Lets do this!

Wishing you all success, love, and happiness in the new year. Stay tuned.


~The one and only - Genuine

Hay, Hello, Hi, Sup?

So spring semester ended last week and I've been out trying to enjoy my week of freedom before summer classes ramp up. Arguable one of hardest things I've had to do in school, but I did well enough to meet my ridiculous standards and kept my mental and emotional states mostly in tact! I'd like to apologize to those of you I've neglected in putting my school first, it was four months of rarely talking, closed offishness, and stress, a lot of stress. There were days you did not see me at my best, but I think that's what makes the foundation to any sort of relationship - friendship or otherwise - strong. I'd also like to thank all of the people who stood by me through the twists and turns and who have slowly but surely allowed me to begin believing in myself again. I've discovered a wonderful venue for my emotional instability and it has been through writing. I'm working on resurrecting my DA so I can upload my stuff there since I'd like to keep my FA strictly for visual arts. If you're interested in reading some of my work message me, I'd be happy to link you once it's up.

So, what's in store for the rest of the year? I recently acquired a new house guest, I dragged my best friend of three years out to California to start a new life. With the additional income, he, my other roommate and I are hoping to move into a larger residence soon. I will be attending school year round trying to meet my requirements for graduation and then it's hopefully off to a reputable university. I could graduate with multiple degrees by next year and the prospect is both exciting and terrifying. There's a heap of work to be done and many more challenges to face, but I'm confident that it can be done. I have a couple of pieces of art in queries and I'm excited to upload some new content later this summer - unless another of Tank's YCHs catch my eye!

That's pretty much it! A lot of fundamental changes have happened and all at once, like an avalanche and I hope everything works out. I'm going to be in my last (thank god) chemistry class and enjoying California's beautiful weather over the summer while hopefully reconnecting with some of those I've fallen out of contact with and (fingers crossed) making some new friends as well! I hope you all have a wonderful summer and take the time to both relax and advance in your own endeavors.

Stay sexy, everyone >3

-Genuine

Hey,

I'm going to use this space to vent real quick, m'kay?

So I was on an anonymous forum where one of the presumably male users was asking for advice; their current friends with benefits had just confessed their love to them. Most of the feedback from others were so inconsiderate: "Yeah, time to dump her bro!", "Get out while you still can!" I was just appalled at the insensitivity, the objectification. So I spoke up, I told them they didn't need to love her, but you need to respect her, you needed to let her down easy. Don't just turn and run, it isn't your life to ruin. It's awful to think that something like "I love you" can be taken so negatively. This guy may have just broken this girl's heart, and others coaxed him out the door. I know for some there is an actual line between sex and love, I always considered the two relevant so I guess it just struck me as a little primitive. Being someone who's experienced loving someone who didn't love them back, and that person turning tail at the thought - it hurts. It does a lot of damage when feelings can't be reciprocated.

I'd have probably fared better had that person been more understanding and sensitive towards me. That's just my take on it though, anyone else have an opinion on this? What would you do? Have you ever been on the receiving end yourself? If so, how did you overcome it? This world is already full of too much pain - there should be a cooperative effort to eliminating some of that - we're all a part of this existence together. I really wish we'd act more like it sometimes. Differences aside, we are born from stars - and the night sky has enough darkness to compliment and allow all of us to shine. Except for the moon, that guy is super egocentric :p.

By the way, it seemed as though my words inspired some reflection in them - hopefully they'll break the news to her more gently. To the girl in question - I'm sorry he doesn't feel the same way towards you. Someone, someday will. Don't let your heart be broken, don't underestimate your worth to be the light in someone's life - in someone's sky. That goes to all of you, anyone who's had their heart broken. I really should start taking my own advice.

Thank you guys.

-Genuine <3

Heyo!

Man, what a weekend. NerdNation was great, a lot of very powerful and moving speeches by some incredibly individuals. The program was intense; so much to cover and experience, it was a lot to take in! I found out my team placed second in the Nevada/California region for our research project which everyone was super excited about, and many other deserving schools won awards for their own projects. Between the dances, the nightlife and the beautiful scenery the trip was three days of practically no sleep but in one of the most involved ways. Overall I enjoyed the experience and feel honored that the school allowed me to participate in the first place. It truly was something just to even be there in a huge room full of 3100 of this nation's top two year college students - and I was one of them! It refueled my motivation and drive to dream big, study hard and chase stars. I hope you all had an empowering, or, at least a relaxing weekend! Now this dog needs some sleep!

-Gen

I never thought I'd end up back in that humid place..

Hey all!

Had the awesome opportunity to travel with my college's PTK honor society to attend the NerdNation academic convention in San Antonio. It's been a huge feat to organize the entire trip together, I'm sure it'll be worth it! I'm going predominately as a nominee for a hallmark award on behalf of my chapter, as well as to support the whole chapter in general - we competed in a year long research project last year and the verdict will be delivered at the convention. Famed Physicist and Author Michio Kaku is a guest speaker, and plenty of booths designed for academic and career development. It'll be an interesting experience!

Also, my ref sheet is in query from  RedDragon and I'm super excited to see how it turns out, stay tuned! I will periodically check in with all of ya here or via Skype and look forward to talking with you guys soon! See you Sunday. :3

-Genuine