It's been a long time since I've put pencil to paper for more than my own general amusement, and it's been even longer since I darkened the doorway of Furaffinity.

I'm back, though I'm not sure to what degree...frankly, it feels like it's been forever, and I feel like I've grown a lot and matured. I have no clue what the fandom is like these days, or whose still around. All I know is that I miss making art, and I miss the community. Like...a lot.

I'm going to try to be more active around here, I feel like it's been forever, and that just ain't right. Maybe I can improve my artistic skills more and eventually pick up where I left off. We shall see! :)

I hope all is well for everybody, if there's anybody who still follows my account. Keep your eyes open for changes around this page, and with any luck, I'll be getting back to what I love most, in no time.

My, how the years have flown past.

Hey guys,

I know I've really dropped the ball on being active here. I've been going through crazy changes, including having to commute to a different school than my university for part of the university program that I'm taking, and just bleh.

Times have been good. Times have been hard. Life has a way of changing you, after all.

That being said, I have landed in economically bad times. My boyfriend moved in with myself and my roommate, and that should have made things easier, but being three students we're actually pretty poor and struggling to make ends meet.


So I might be taking commissions soon to help keep he and I afloat. He landed a job but it's only for the month of December, and a lot of the money is spoken for to pay off bills and loans and stuff.

He might have to move back in with his parents, but since they're moving (having little money theirselves), in a few months, he'll have nowhere to turn, once again.

Le sigh. Everybody has the same story at this time of the year I'm sure, so that's as much as I'm going to elaborate on that.

Anyways. Yes. I might be taking commissions if anybody is interested, and while I haven't been willing to before, I am considering taking "yiffy" commissions. Not sure yet, but it's possible.

I guess to sum it up, it's great to be back, it's great to be active here again and I can't wait to share time with you all again.

Anytime anybody needs anything, I'm the first one to be there for them. Willingly. Because I love my friends.

Anytime I need anything, I am alone with nobody to turn to.

She is in a garden, not one of delight like the first Eve, who there fell and took with her all of mankind, but of agony.

She suffers this anguish and abandonment in the horrors of the night.

She will be in agony until the end of the world. There must be no resting in the meantime.

Oh crap.

Financial issues, here I come.

I'm so tired of sitting and staring off into space wondering "Do I have enough? Do I have enough?!"

OSAP really fucked me over by not giving me money this semester and making me rely on grants, scholarships and bursaries alone.

I'm kind of upset because I really don't have time to take on commissions either until the end of the school year due to two huge major papers...one which my prof decided to be incredibly vague about.

AND he's a harsh marker too.

FML.

So, my roommate has fallen on some rough economic times, and she's opening up to the option of doing small commissions for people, to keep herself afloat.

She's pretty good with drawing, and does unique little chibis, and her prices are VERY generous. So, I totally think if you want a cute drawing of your character, you should go check her out.

Go check her out at http://ajswartzy.deviantart.com Comment to her journal or send her a note, if you have a dA account, and if not, please let me know what you'd like, and I'll give her your info.

I might have a paw in some of the production too (idk, motivation, keeping everything on track, etc...), so you know things will go fairly smoothly. I can put the fear of death in her. Or the fear of starvation or rape.

So, check her out. Sounds like her base rate is about $5, which is not much for some very nice work!

Sometimes, we sit back and ask ourselves the important questions in life.

Is there a god? What happens to me when I die?








Will I ever be as pretty as Anderson Cooper?

On my radio show this week, I'm taking on the group PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) for being incredible hypocrites and self serving douchewads.

I've done my homework and my research from credible sources, but I'm having mixed feelings. On one hand, I'm so excited to see if it kicks up discussion, and I want to spread the truth. At the same time, I'm damned near terrified that I'm going to get flamed like hell for it.

I can't help but wonder how it's going to go over. And I can't help but feel bad for being excited about kicking up controversy and possibly drawing more attention to the show.

Wait. Why should I feel bad for it?

I'm just looking out for myself. Everybody does it.

It's going to be an interesting episode for sure.

Now I sit, and wait.

This is apparently a fear/phobia meme, but since none of these things really scare me, it's the things that make me uncomfortable meme. Deal with it. >8U

[ ] public speaking
[X] staying single forever
[ ] Rejection
[X] being a parent - Fuck yeah. I hate kids.
[X] giving birth (not sure if this really counts...) - Not afraid of it, just too selfish to go through it.
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] fish
[ ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
[ ] that Scary guy...
[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[X] deep water - Just how it looks.
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[ ] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[ ] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[X] death - The unknown usually unsettles me
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed
[ ] falling
[ ] clowns
[ ] dolls
[ ] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[X] having great responsibilities
[X] doctors, including dentists - I just hate them. Probably a long story behind that.
[ ] tornadoes
[ ] hurricanes
[ ] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[ ] being alone
[X] becoming blind (I'd rather not...I enjoy too many movies/games)
[X] becoming deaf (see above, include music)
[x] growing up
[X] creepy noises in the night
[ ] bee stings
[X] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[ ] high speed
[ ] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secret

Final Total: 12

I just found out today that my Step-Brother-Inlaw (I guess that would be how you call him? He's my step-sister's husband) is being shipped off to Afghanistan on January 4th.

This is...well, it's a miracle that we get to spend Christmas with him, but it's a scary time.

This may end up being reflective in my art works when I finally break hiatus.

To say, I want to be just like Hellboy when I grow up.


...Also, what is with all of this banner drama? It was fat furries OHNOES. HOW CAN YOU EVER LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE THERE ARE FAT PEOPLE?! AND GLUTTONY. OMFG.


SINSINSINSINSIN.


I'm done now.

Hey everybody.

I'm just writing this to let you know that I'm going on a furry hiatus. I'm working on one commission right now, that, don't you worry my little buckaroo, it will be done in a timely fashion. I just need to step back and refocus my energy with everything thats going on, which includes school, social stuff.

I've been stretched and running pretty thin, so I just need a chance to breathe for a bit and distance myself from most art stuff.

It doesn't mean I don't love you all. I do.

Fireball, your badge will get done! Promise.

To everybody else, this isn't a "B'aww, I'm leaving forevars!

I'm assuming I'll pop back up after the new year or so? Mind you, this might even change within a week or two. I just need to focus on what is most important right now and get my priorities straight so that I can be more active within the furry community when I come back.



Until then. <3

FOR FREE.

GOGOGOGOGO.

Crazy quick sketches. Because depression makes Chernobyl want to draw stupid doodles and I will doodle you if you ask me.


OR SOMETHING.

GOGOGOGOGOGO.

It's free! ™

So. Let's see what should be updated upon.

I lost my job. A job that I loved a lot. It wasn't my fault, they closed the Brant/Haldimand/Norfolk branch of St. John Ambulance. FAILSAUCE.

Did a commission for Khaz. Was pleased with how it turned out, he seems to be quite pleased, too.

Uhm. Major allergic reaction. Moar failsauce.

The radio show is going really well. I frequent about 619 listeners a week.

University is going alright.

Got a "job" on GaiaOnline working in a breedable/custom character shop with my friend AJ who owns the shop. Game money for drawings and I get to participate. Woo.

Stuff. The end.

I don't feel so great. And I'm rambling.

...I can't help but wonder, can you even hear me?

I find it interesting that one day before my first broadcast, I have (as well as my fellow broadcasters) been asked to modify our shows and topics to appease a bunch of fanatics.

I was fully intending to cover a news story on Governor Sarah Palin on our first broadcast of the Bizarre Half Hour, but now, that seems that it will not be a possibility as I received this e-mail from my superiors:

SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE -- To protect yourself and your sanity this weekend, I'd advise STRONGLY AGAINST making a lot of reference to the American political election and campaigns, particularly any SNL-like critiques of Govs Palin or Senator McCain. Professional colleagues of mine within the nation's public broadcaster have been heavily attacked for critical comments against the Republican ticket and these attacks go right to the top. As we're finding, the smallest and most innocent of comments can go viral on the web with tremendous cultural violence inflicted upon the journalist/commentator. Until we have a better handle on how we might handle something like this as a new entity, I think it is prudent we avoid wading heavily into critical opinion for the first weekend or two to protect you and the station from undue harassment!

Excuse me, what?

So what they're telling me is that people are going to get ass sore about something somebody from University said on an internet radio show? Seriously?

I think what is being said underneath it all is that Republican Fanatics are seeing their leader's credibility slipping, and that scares the hell out of them. And they're acting out the only way that they know how...attempted intimidation.

Well, back to the show notes I go.

Catch ya later.

Well, I got a Radio Show time slot on my university's radio station. For those who are interested in listening in, it can be accessed online.

More on this later, tomorrow, when I'm not being a lazy bitch. Haha.

Long story short, there will be show notes probably updated in my scraps.


Be afraid. I go live to air this Sunday.

True story.

To my name, in my bank account, I've got $5.12 until OSAP comes in for school.



Just thought I'd share that thrilling aspect of my life.

Guess who is going to an Alexisonfire concert?


ME!

Dear Fugly Creepy Office Ghost,

Although the title of this entry calls you a ghost, you are not mythical, as I would so wish. Stop coming into work every day when you don't HAVE to. You're an instructor. Get over it.

Stop using the office supplies. You don't pay for them.

Stop mumbling. It's annoying. Stop sitting there and staring at us when we're trying to do work. It's creepy and I hate it. She does too. No wonder you've never been kissed and you're like a billion years old.

Stop wearing shorts and stained t-shirts. Ew. Get a life and stop coming in. I heard about you stalking the last girl and the only reason they keep you around is because they absolutely HAVE to. You have the money to get your own internet so DO IT. Stop creeping around the office.

She only feels sorry for you. She doesn't like you. In fact, we DREAD when you come in. Oh, and using the hydro, office supplies, internet, air conditioning, etc, and then NEVER DOING A FUCKING THING TO HELP OUT ONE IOTA?! I hate you. I hate being left alone when you're there. I hate it when you're in the same room as me.

I used to feel sorry for you.

Fuck you in the neck with a ballpoint pen,


The office wench who is clearly terrified and creeped out by the very thought of your presence.

I'm considering doing some more commissions now that I've got Khaz's sketched up. I think I'm finally out of my artist's block.

Let me know if you're interested, please! And don't forget, I'm willing to do convention badges now, too.

I'm really not dealing well with this break up. It has taken a real toll on me and has become a constant dull throbbing pain in my heart and my mind. Even my muscles have come to ache, perhaps it is the emotional pain manifesting itself physically.

I'm tired of pretending to be happy. I'm tired of pretending that everything is alright.

The only good thing to come of this is that I'm working on a commission that has been pending for a long assed time, for a dear friend. I'm lucky he's been so patient. But I feel alright about how his badge is coming along.

People will come and go. Men will come and go. But theatrical memorabilia will never let you down, so long as you keep it in that clear plastic. And you just wipe it down with a moist towel.

A lot of people prefer that over people themselves.

Well, once again, I ask my fellow artists and cosplayers for help!

I'm working on reworking one of my cosplay outfits, which is a dress. It's supposed to come down fairly straight, but the way it sits on me makes my hips and thighs look huge. I look like a squat lil' midget.

I know without a visual of the dress, it is very hard to suggest anything, but if you've any ideas, please let me know.

I assure you I am not a squat lil' midget.

Did you really leave me again? After all of the seasons that I spent waiting, watching out of the window, listening at the door. Waiting for the news of your return; for the news that you realized that someone important was waiting for you.

A whole lifetime, I've been waiting. I can't believe you're not coming back. I can't believe that I'm supposed to stop waiting.

I can't believe you left me again...

I've been suffering a massive artist block and cannot solidify on a new design for Chernobyl.

The most I know is that I want her to be more distinctive, still a radioactive wox, and I want to incorporate horns into her character design.

Any suggestions that you can make? Colours, markings, accessories, distinctive traits?

I just woke up from a nightmare about zombies, where the zombies had a consciousness and called to the living. I remember this woman safely protected from them, maybe by bars, and they beckoned to her by assembling the horribly misshapen corpse of her husband who had died in a multiple-car collision.

They did this by actually retrieving the twisted remnants of each of the cars and placing the now-"living" bits of her husband together in a gruesome jigsaw puzzle of unspeakably brutalized flesh and metal. And then, what was left of her husband called out to her to join him while she slowly lost her mind.