I love Carnotaurus, they are so weird-looking. I thought they were derpy for some time but these ones take the cake: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfk8tkh5uKA Might not be an accurate depiction, but it's really cute and funny nonetheless!

Re-posting this paragraph with a few edits more eye-catching title there, Diane. :P Basically, show me some hot Jurassic Park fan porn and I will do a dinosaur portrait for you!

I say, have any of you good folks seen any good Jurassic Park fanart that I may have missed out there? Especially Alan/Ellie porn, but I will take anything, heh. Ellie/Alan/Ian has been intriguing my headspace lately too recently, though my idea is not entirely consensual for poor Alan, oh lordy no, Diane. *fans self* I'm familiar with Uselessboy's pinups on Hentai Foundry, but he does not enough Ellie in my opinion, ha. Then there's this insanity: http://emmamunger.com/PIN-UPS/Jurassic-Park The Hammond one amuses me to no end. XD I really love the world of JP and all the fun stuff I can fangasm into it! Damn fine fandom, Diane! And that cherry pie is to die for.

Oh, and please don't show me Claire unless she's getting raped by dinosaurs. :P She'll never be half as cool as Ellie and I'm sick to death of her. p.q Yeah, she kind of gets it at the end of JW, but I still don't really like her. And Owen/Blue is a way better pairing than Owen/Claire in my opinion. They better not stay together after what was done to my beloved Alan/Ellie with that atrocity JP3, goddammit. I hear she'll at least get sensible shoes in the sequel, though. Um... sorry for the rant, if you do actually like her, don't want to offend, I just... don't like her, Diane, I'm sorry. :B

That being said, Diane... I'd like to see Ellie being raped by dinosaurs too... >.> And, uh, maybe Muldoon, because that's how I assume he survives into the comics. He never does explain exactly what happened, but I assume this: It looks like an on-screen death, but they were really just molesting him.

An no, I'm not calling you Diane.... I'm calling EVERYONE Diane. Thought it might be fun to confuse the general population and possibly amuse any Twin Peaks fan weirdos who may be watching. I've discovered a surprising amount of Twin Peaks fanart right here on FA, Diane, and am hopeful to spark some conversations about that as well in the future. And if you happen to have any fan porn of Agent Cooper... I'll exchange a dinosaur for some of that as well, Diane. :3

https://www.watchcartoononline.io/b.....horse-rider-er I like this episode of Bob's Burgers for all the wrong reasons. :B Imaginary horse Jericho, ha. That whole desert island thing is relevant to my interests, and I lost it when she rides him at the end. XD

I don't feature other peoples' art enough. Well, I just found this lovely Jurassic Park fanart by  mrseyker, and really like the team-up idea it suggests: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1279143/

My favorite ladies of Jurassic Park... the feminist and the eco-terrorist. The hacker is definitely my third favorite, but even though Lexxy may be older than me technically(and is actually grown up and running a produce company in the Redemption comic), I still think of her as a kid and find it hard to think of her in the weird perverted context I tend to put my characters in. :B Though I imagine she ends up with Ian eventually because of some ideas my brother pitched me, ha.

So what I'm trying to say is, Sarah Harding may end up in some of my fan weirdness, and I'm not sure why this idea never occurred to me before now. She'll be a real help to everyone in my JP3 rewrite, so long as she avoids spooking baby dinosaurs after preaching about how "we're just there to observe." :B

Heh, you know, there are parts of The Lost World that I daresay I may like even more than the best scenes out of the first JP. The scene where those two T-rexes share a dude comes to mind. :> Big reptiles eating people is basically my favorite thing ever. Dragons, dinosaurs, deathclaws, it doesn't really matter. But, um, for now that's probably a post for another day.

I say, have any of you good folks seen any good Jurassic Park fanart that I may have missed out there? Especially Alan/Ellie porn, but I will take anything, heh. I'm familiar with Uselessboy's pinups on Hentai Foundry, but he does not enough Ellie in my opinion, ha. Then there's this insanity: http://emmamunger.com/PIN-UPS/Jurassic-Park The Hammond one amuses me to no end. XD I really love the world of JP and all the fun stuff I can fangasm into it! Show me some JP arts and I'll draw you a free dinosaur portrait when I can focus again! :D

Now let's all celebrate with dinosaur techno: https://youtu.be/ige2YBBJeh4 Dance party forever!

...Why can I never come up with such vivid and complex narratives for my OWN characters? p.q

Ah well.

Fandom is a weird drive and I can't explain it.

Still got some commissions to do before I can let myself write more though, heh. Colored lizard and some weird TF sketches on the way. Been hard for me to focus lately... sorry aboot that. :B

So....so... last night I watched the Tales from the Darkside movie. And there was surprise forced cat vore.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhfsAokR-D4 It starts about a minute in on here.

And then: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SJAzpHg4s8

Wow. Just wow. Holyfuckingshitwhatthefuck WHY IS THIS SO HOT?

Something to do with not just vore, but escaping a vore situation. After forcing your way down their throat, holy fuck. I'm glad the cat survived, I love cats, ha. I guess I relate to the cat. XD

I love you, furries. I can admit that these things are sexy to me without feeling too weird around here. XD

So today I saw that there's finally an article on the local paper about the turkeys that live on Central Avenue in Dunkirk: http://www.observertoday.com/news/p.....gobble-gobble/

Now, I shit you not, I first noticed one of these turkeys when he boldly walked in front of my car on Thanksgiving day, this past November. I saw some since then, but it felt like some kind of omen at the time.... of what, I am not sure.

Now, my D&D character, Valek Grant the alchemist, has acquired the ability summon a mana-wasted dire turkey. He started with a normal turkey and did science to it... much to the chagrin of Ramona Jenkins, who helped him catch it when he was done. XD He only wanted it to be 6 feet tall, but it towers over everyone at 8 feet.

You all know exactly what I was trying to reference with that, don't you? ;3 Gosh, not like I ever mentioned Jurassic Park here or anything....

I've always maintained that a six-foot tall turkey would, in fact, be fucking terrifying. Valek just went and proved it to everyone.

Birds are dinosaurs. https://xkcd.com/1211/ Don't you ever bloody forget it.

Speaking of which, just got some Starfleet-themed ostrich art I bought from  ecmajor in the mail this morning. Ostriches are one of my favorite modern dinosaurs. <3 Turkeys are another.

So, my good friend/adopted brother(pretty much) Elex is in the hospital with ketoacidosis. Gonna go visit him Thursday when Zakk's off from work. Got him some sugar free candies to take up there. Just praying this doesn't happen to him again and that things improve for him soon.

Remember when I mentioned that my niece was choked by her mom's baby daddy? Well now CPS has dropped the case and the courts want to give him partial custody? What the flipping fuck, right? Beat the crap out of a kid and they decide you should spend MORE time around that kid??? Counter-intuitive bullshit miscarriage of justice. Arrrgh. Well, Zakk's sister is not having it. She won't accept this unless it's supervised visits. Don't blame her one bit.

Still getting over that flu. Think I felt better today but I'm still feeling feverish off and on. It's really the least of our problems out here!

Drowning my sorrows in Twin Peaks. You know that show's coming back this year and Laura Dern will be in it? That's very exciting to me. :D Ah, this show is SPECIAL to me.

Anyway, hope all of you out there are doing okay. Many hugs!

So, for 24 years, I thought Snakewater, Montana was a real place. *facepalm* I never thought to look it up till last night.

Happy Hearts and Hooves Day! Yes, even with this recent rash of JP weirdness, I'm still a total brony too. :P

I've been really sick for a few days and it's been slowing down my drawing. p.q Bear with me, dudes. Got a flu, it'll pass, in the meantime I feel like crap, yay.

Now I'm gonna have some tea and sit down and watch that old Merlin miniseries, the one with Sam Neill. Cuz Sammy Neills is my shiiiiiiiiit. <3 Even still, after JP3, and you KNOW how I feel about THAT. XD (Oh gosh, really, have I never mentioned it? LMAO.)

Hand wizard. Giggity.

Hermigherd, Sturrnehernge!

</fevered ramble>

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22380756/ Made a few minor edits to this. Just thought I'd mention it if anyone wanted to re-read that. Also, switched format to a .PDF version. .PDFs > .TXTs. Not posting stories as .TXTs anymore because I'd have to manually re-format them for display here, and it's just a pain in the butt!

This bit was pretty fun to write but not long enough for its own story submission.... if you understand why the part about Diane Ladd in Carnosaur is funny, then come watch movies with me! I'll give you some time to google that, no rush. :P

Still haven't watched Carnosaur, it's on my list though. After reading the synopsis, I've concluded that that movie would probably trigger some PTSD flashbacks in our dear Dr. Grant, hence why he passes on watching it. Poor guy. :/

Tammy and the T-Rex is indeed glorious and majestic, glory glory hallelujah! XD

***

“I'm gonna go back out and dig... clear my head,” said Alan.

“Not me,” Ellie said. “I'm too shaken up; I just want to stay here and try to cool off. Gonna watch some stupid dinosaur movies, I think. Get my mind off things.”

“What did you have in mind?"

Ellie handed him two videotapes in their boxes. “Carnosaur and Tammy and the T-Rex.”

“I don't think this Carnosaur one interests me much, seems pretty violent... wait, this lady looks just like your mom! Weird.”

“Oh, yeah, Diane Ladd,” Ellie said. “They do look alike. Crazy, right? How about the other one though?”

Alan laughed as he read the synopsis of Tammy and the T-Rex. “Okay, this one looks just terrible enough to enjoy! Save that for when I get back.”

“Sure, honey, anything you want,” said Ellie with a smile. “That one's just as glorious and majestic as it looks!”

...the JP3 raptor whistle is stupid and was based on a scaled-up dog's sinus cavity. How very disappointing. :/ Makes sense, the only dinosaur you could probably really do that with is a Parasaurolophus, and that would not be pocket-sized. That movie was growing on me last December but now I'm noticing all of its flaws, ALL OF THEM... used to be just the Alan/Ellie split pissed me off, and every "supporting" character was shit and needed to be eaten by dinosaurs from the beginning, - NEEDED IT - but... le sigh... well, the raptors still looked awesome and sexy.... and Joe Johnston can't take away my childhood... Headcanon for life.

The idea of a specially crafted musical instrument that makes a low tone similar to a raptor's mating call, however.... THAT could be worth mentioning. Yes, Dr. Grant even thinks they sound sexy....

Just wait till you see my raptor play gear I have in mind for him. :B Like pony/puppy play but raptor stuff. With a big plush tail. Paleo-BDSM is best BDSM!

Dinosaur fetish? What dinosaur fetish?? >.>

...check out this dinosaur documentary: https://youtu.be/-JgIEu6Nn2M There is like... an obscene amount of eggs being laid in the first 15 minutes. o.o

Ahahaaaa, eggs freak me out and I won't eat them. XD But I'll draw em popping out, for sure!

I'm being haunted by the restless soul of Alan Grant and my spirit animal is Ellie Sattler with a lightsaber riding on Blue riding on Rexy riding on Godzilla.

It's a Jurassic turducken.

Gonna try to take a break from fanpooping today tho, I got work to do...

So... I've decided I want to re-write the entirety of Jurassic Park 3 because I am a crazy motherfucker. It occurs to me that I may have to watch most of the movie again and I do not relish it. I just... do not want... do not want at all. Now I know what they mean by suffering for art's sake. :B

There are certain parts of the film I want to preserve, including introductions of characters I didn't like(which means everyone in that damn movie except Alan, Ellie, and maybe the Kirby kid) so I can kill them off later. But I want it to take place on Nublar instead of Sorna, simply because I want to keep the bit I wrote before about Alan never seeing a V. sornaensis until Ellie turns into one. Besides, raptors bred in the wild on Nublar in the comics, so they'll meet plenty more V. nublarensis'es!

I kinda liked the raptor whistle thing so I want to keep that. But Billy's got to go. He must die for stealing those eggs. The Kirby parents shall fall as well. And I want Alan to scream "I don't like money anymore!" at Jack and slap the checkbook out of his hand. And then he has to tell THE TRUTH about his kid being stuck there.... and neutral good Alan will totally help if that's the case.

Spinosaurus vore happens. Rexy and raptors save the day somehow.

And Ellie is right by her man's side the whole time, being awesome. Saving wounded raptors on airplanes since 1994(because the comics, she was so badass and compassionate in those, hurrrgh). Their kids(Sam and Alana) are 5 and 6 and are spending the weekend at Grandma's.

Grant/Sattler for life, fool.

All is as it should be.

I went into this fan-insanity knowing I'd end up making it a crazy huge project with a wide scope of the entire Jurassic Park movie/comic universe. But it's gone in some interesting directions even I didn't expect, and I really like where it's headed. :3

And then this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDKFit-r-QA ....has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. It's Matthew Goode talking about mental illness and creativity. But it's still relevant, as I worry I'm in the middle of a weird manic episode, which is maybe why I can't stop fancrapping. p.q I have long history of depression and anxiety... so this talk was good for me to hear. I hope it helps others feel better about their weirdness too.

These journals help too. I like sharing where I want to go with these things, even if no one reads it. Still feels good to put it out there. :3

Back to the music. Still working on commission stuff, haven't forgotten anyone, if I haven't gotten back to you I'm just mulling things over. :3

I probably don't say this enough but: THANK YOU! To everyone enjoying my art. Thanks for all the faves, watches, and kind comments. Thanks to those who commission me, and those who ogle my work from the sidelines. You're all great. ❤

I know I'm prone to bouts of inactivity on here, but lately, FA has been my refuge. I'm actually deeply troubled with the state of America and the future of our country and the world. But I've been allowing myself to cut loose more, been working on my Jurassic Park fan weirdness which means a lot to me. I was surprised and pleased to see the overwhelming support of that particular arc of my insanity. :D It's like, my anger at the government and at Jurassic Park 3(if you're just tuning in, it ruined my favorite pairing, Alan and Ellie) has been fueling my work with jet propulsion.

Yep, I've been worried about everything, and fandom has been very helpful at easing my troubled mind. Thanks to all of you whom I can share it with, unabashedly. ❤

Finally made a real answer for my answer blog! https://sattlerraptor.tumblr.com/ NSFW...

Next up: DINOSAUR SEX! Even more NSFW. :D

Okay, get ready for one of my weird-ass theories...

*puts on Dr. Grant hat*

InGen is responsible for the Pokemon universe. Pokemon are the end results of all Dr. Wu's crazy experiments. Remember the feathered lizard in his office in Jurassic World? And the axolotl with a Dimetrodon-like back sail? And the Indominus itself? Total Pokemon prototypes.

Moreover, look at Professor Oak. He's kind of what I picture when I think of how I'm going to draw cartoonified Dr. Grant. He is Alan Grant's descendant! And, you know, I like to fucking hope Ellie's descendant too, because OTP forever. XD

There was a big war at some point and Pokemon were involved. Now, InGen was breeding genetically modified animals for eventual use in WAR in Jurassic World. And if you've read the novel, you may know that Hammond was planning on breeding smaller versions of dinosaurs for the pet trade.

Of course, they didn't stop with dinosaurs.

InGen made Pokemon.

Do you see???

*stops channeling Alan Grant so her computer doesn't explode*

This is all just my personal fan weirdness, feel free to ignore. XD

...on this clip from @ Midnight: http://www.cc.com/video-clips/qgh4w.....k---uncensored

Wow, just wow. I love how enthusiastic he is about wanting to be in a dirty monster romance novel. I'd read the fuck outta that book.

Made a prototype ask blog: https://sattlerraptor.tumblr.com/ If you build it, right?

Haven't posted anything there but some comic panels for my icon and background, hah. But I imagine this could be fun. I certainly have the momentum for it right now. Ellie's my favorite action hero and she makes a really fun raptor whom I have lots of ideas for. Seen a lot of MLP blogs in this style, from the character's point of view, so here we are.

Sam Neill explained why Dr. Grant(possibly) hasn't returned in the Jurassic World films: http://screenrant.com/jurassic-worl.....ant-sam-neill/

And you know what? I'm okay with that. If they were to put him in another JP/JW, they'd have to address the ugly stain that is Jurassic Park 3. And besides, the way JP3 ended left no doubt in my mind that the man probably hung himself off a bridge immediately after the credits. Ellie's just like, "You're the best," and walks away, no hugs or kisses or leaving her jackass husband or antything. Guy's got PTSD and the love of his life just married some douchebag and doesn't care. UGH, it hurts, which is why I don't consider that film to be canon. :B

Slapitonaplasticlunchboxandyousellit, you'resellingit. *slams fist down on table*

But yeah, I think I'm happier imagining the characters as they are living in my head. They're TOGETHER and have a halfway decent life... when they're not being chased by dinosaurs or turning into them, anyhow.

I'm really excited about B.D. Wong returning as Dr. Wu though. I feel like he's shaping up to be an amazing villain. He was great as Hugo Strange on Gotham as well. :D

On a side note, should I make a new account for my Jurassic Park fanslash altcanon crap? Or is everyone OK with me still posting obsessively about it here? A new name could be fun, SattlerRaptor or something.

Anybody remember this blast from the past? https://youtu.be/83nFiPoSuzU

Replace every instance of "walk" with "fuck" and you have the theme for my TF fanfic. :P

And now for something a little different: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKFHZuCvvS4

I love VICE documentaries and have many more I could be sharing, but this one not only took the cake this morning but ran off down the street with it.

They unveil the world's first full-body male sex dolls and something else that sounds weird and interesting: The Vajankle. :B

I probably don't want a sex doll myself until they make dinosaur ones. >.>;; But, it's all pretty interesting nonetheless. And a company I could easily imagine working for.

https://youtu.be/uERzen1KOwc

Relevant to my interests. :B

That dino vaj is smoother than Columbian leather.

Saw that a few weeks ago and.... well, you all know. :B

https://www.youtube.com/embed/I2XfVml6o24

Can't get enough of this song. It has also been fueling my Grantler porn. :B His relationship with Ellie is not 100% healthy, but they make it work and even managed to raise a fairly adjusted son, so yeah. He can smell the Prozac in her pretty hair. I suspect this song is actually about seeing the good in a failed relationship, but many of the lyrics still seem relevant.