hielo

Please let me know any other websites you on besides FA, I will give my best to reconnect with cool people I used to know yknow before I migrate fully




thank you!

I'm planning on leaving this site with all of my existing acc's and being done with it. The administration doesn't really care about actual harassment as it's been shown over the last decade of me being on this site especially in my own experiences. Besides that - the shit allowed on here RAMPANTLY and OPENLY by the admins - pedophilia, zoophilia, incest and MORE - is beyond fucking horrific and I do not want to associate with this kind of ilk. I don't care about commissions or revenue anymore - I'm fucking sick of it. Fr all the normies are RIGHT about this site. I've been on it since I was mfing 14 and I'm 25 now and it's fucking horrid. I seriously don't care anymore. I will be saving most commissions sand other stuff on my db - if interested of commissions of yours in the past, message me before the 6th of June when I will definitely be purging everything. Until I'm active on OTHER sites and give my last migration announcement here -I will be ghost. I will finish my last patreon responsibilities and move onto stuff that actually makes me FEEL GOOD instead of fucking shit. Peace - I'm done with this nest of vileness.

So, I don't think I need to go into details about the larger topic - most of you are aware I'd assume of what is happening in general.

It's horrible, but it's been a long time coming. Nobody with power listened to east-EU and the Baltics while we asked for help for years against Rus dictatorship and annexations. The sick fucker only few years ago proudly and openly stated he plans to invade the Baltics and Ukraine and powerful countries laughed in our face for our worries. I am furious, but at least the rest of the EU sent somewhat proper firepower on the outskirts of romania, especially the dutch. It's late, but it's something.

I pray for the souls of the Ukrainain shipmates who died at Snake Island, and praise them for the balls to say "fuck you" to the enemy right before being shot down - they knew it was coming anyway. They are Heroes.

Right now I'm still in NL, my ro family is keeping me up to date and we live in the south, so my family is good for now. The people are sharing help around for accommodation, items, food etc. and even our shitty for-profit priv. hospitals are doing the same, offering free services. I'm happily surprised, even if a pubstunt. But I am fully proud of our people for being welcoming and helpful, even though most of us don't have enough for ourselves even, most of the country is in poverty not unlike theirs - so we know what it's like.

I still want to move back no matter what, despite knowing things might get worse and they will move onto us next 100% if they do, but I can't live otherwise, both in the current culture and with the conscience that I'm not back home, defending and taking care of my family also. We have a lot of space in that house too and we're thinking of talking w the family to offer refuge, + the few arable land we have could be used to support us if properly multicultured, which was planned anyway. We don't want to start a family anymore (besides being not legal since we're both seen as women), and other generations could use what we built. I don't see a future for us in the cities, and living there w no escape to real nature just makes me feel sick even without all of this happening. Depending on the system and the heads above is death, and I worry for those with no priviledge to escape. It's fucking grim, it's been predicted, and nobody else but the victims gave a fuck. I have a lot of feelings about this situation but the prevailing one is anger, both at the perpetrators and the bystanders. I try very hard not to slip into misanthropic rhetoric and feelings, but holy shit the more I learn and experience, the harder it gets.

I hope we the people will keep fighting, cuz nobody will fight for ourselves. The arms from NATO are nice but are 1) too few too little 2) it's typical of them to leave a supposed deterrent and then fuck off. Many such cases.

My takeaway is - help eachother, house eachother, arm eachother, teach eachother, and don't depend on governments, regardless what country you're in they all more or less are corrupt and corporate-oriented, and don't give a fuck about their populace they use as livestock.
I don't want to be pessimistic - but it WILL get worse, and being optimistic about shit like this will get people assaulted and killed, yet again. One of my ancestors got brutally violated by the red army when they first invaded, and the culture never really changed there - the people putting on arms to serve him are just as bad. I don't care about draft - leave, go to fucking jail. I would, and I will if I have to. Anything is better than massacring and violating innocents, I'd rather hang from a branch than ever do that or fight alongside someone like that. I don't get how anyone with even a sliver of soul would do that.

They are ruthless, xenophobic imperialists and they will stop at nothing, especially supported by our neighbors in HUN (don't @ me and look at the racist genocides and praising of Putin going on RN there, not just by the gov but by the general population too.).
I'm seriously trying to sugarcoat this and I can't - historical patterns and the terror's voice over the years say enough.

I'm sorry. I'm wishing for hope and safety, but it won't happen unless the root is cut and cauterized and I wish for that without innocent bloodshed. Take care and don't take this lightly, anymore. You need to learn to defend yourselves regardless if you're in the targets of this situation or not, and especially if you're openly/visibly LGBT. Once I get my shooting experience and permits It would be a dream to teach self-defense together with my wife who does kickboxing, as well as spread out into sustainable gardening, livestock care and hunting. Hopefully we can grow a strong community. I don't see any other way around it. Stay together.

one of my rly old acquaintances has one of their friends really in need of extra focus and energy, if you can spare to check out and help out pls!

https://streamlabs.com/cyndvt/tip
https://ko-fi.com/batnoise
https://twitter.com/batnoise/status.....92309899169800

Thanks <3

I'm so mfing embarassed but I haven't been to any dutch festival harder than the mainstream techno w my friends despite of years of living here and uhh Ik I'm in the risk group severely bc of my bronchitis, sinusitis and astmpha-lite but holy shit do I NEED to experience a hardcore/hardstyle concert before I die. Angerfist has been my fav since so long and they are literally dutch, been in the Netherlands for fucking 7 years now and I haven't been to any concert besides the mainstream techno. Im furious. Im coming back home for good soon and I never been to a hard-style concert bc none of my friends or even partner are into it , damn....


fr considering going to the Haaren festival on 8-10 april despite being in the severe risk group w my lung issue, like fr i would risk dying to experience this just ONCE! My fiancee is in on it despite hating this kinda music lol. i'll be going solo here but fuck. fuck. this kind of excessive experience is been so important to me before even realising i'm into this kinda music. IT fits me. IT energizes me. I need to feel it. I felt so much edm until now but nothing's been harder than oldschool dutch HARDcore and i'm still yet to find something just as good. Fr I'm so ready to create music like this it's so fitting for my neurology. Godz mfin bless <3


Ik I have a lot of dutchies following me so if you're going to this shit please let me know!!! I don't have many trusty friends to go hard on this with and it would be nice :) obviously taking care with dizinfectants and extra masks n shit - I do NOT want to die in a horrible way and ims neither do you! I /will/ bring the dank thoe, all on me <333 hmu if you're dutch and interested @ then!

i am way past my limits, I am in so much pain

But I fucking did it!!! I passed my last redos!! Mostly thanks to my fiancee fixing the damn thing for me bc I sucked ass at it but holy shit I'm almost in the clear with school!!

My grad paper and project are pretty much on point, I just have to get proper testing data on the game and I...pretty much passed this hellhole , finally. 7 fucking years man...

If I hadn't passed my redo (and my upcoming graduation) this year, I woulda been in so much debt...I've already completely eaten up the money/pension I got from being a half-orphan like 2 years ago, I am so fucking lucky my fiancee is a dutchie who is more well-off/priviledged in this country holy shit cuz my family couldn't support me further these last few years.


my irl colleagues aren't even on FA but holy shit am I glad you guys helped me out when I couldn't understand certain assignments and viceversa, I am so blessed and my stupid ass took this shit for granted so hard. I love y'all. I gotta call them soon v__v

I may be a tad (a lot) alcoholised and weak but I am excited!! I gotta share!! I'm almost fucking free ! This shit that's been holding me in a suicidal deathgrip for years is almost fucking over and I'm gonna marry my love this june and move out!! Holy shit. Holy jesus. Holy fuck. I am so tired lol. Exhausted, even.


I wish the best for y'all, hope you're staying safe. I will be getting back into arts and posting hardcore once I've truly passed my grad presentation in april. Peace, love n danks!

Sooo...a lot has happened. Most of it being Not The Greatest TM. Other than celebrating my birthday shortly on a workday tmo there's not much nice to talk about. Oh, and I got a rooster shaped glass wine bottle a day b4 my bday aka today. I love it and I can't wait to show off my cock (bottle).

Jokes aside...

- Had to change projects since the previous team ganged up on me and started gaslighting me on my graduation research and claiming I never showed it to them when I constantly did and asked for feedback on it. Was not allowed to even apply it onto the visual design of the game in the first place when earlier on we decided who is going to have what responsibility. Essentially they were all already friends and I came in like a 3rd (well, 4th) wheel, guess they did not like me as a person and decided to screw me over halfway through. I worked on a LOT until then, most of the assets and concept art until then was mine and then they just decided to...say fuck it, ig, and replace all of my responsibilities with shit they did in their own previous games.
We were supposed to do a rehabilitation game for kids with cognitive and motor issues, and most of my research was on visual disability. They downright refused to use the color blind friendly colors I researched and designed, putting reds on greens and so on for highlights for example... like, the whole point was to make the game as accessible as possible, including visually.

Well, didn't turn out right for them since my coach's kid happens to be color blind and had a similar situation happen to him in his younger working times, so he took it a bit personally. With his help I was allowed to jump ship to my fiancee's project and continue my work there, which is frankly way cooler. I'm working on a spooky PEGI-7 VR arcade game so it's way more down my alley, and the programmer we work with is pretty dope himself. In the end, things turned out for the better but I am still quite shaken by what happened...I genuinely worked well and tried to make friends. There's things out of control sometimes ig.

- Dropped my laptop and it's making what I assume to be really nasty electrical coil noises from the charging port. It's a weird frequency older people can't hear right and the guy who I sent it to for fixing and repasting only pasted it and nothing else since he wouldn't believe me at first, he couldn't hear it. Had to send a recording of the noise since it sounds absolutely horrendous aside from the coil noise it sounds like hard electrical "Scratching" even when i'm not close to the laptop. With my ear close to it it's so loud it /hurts/. Since it's definitely the power socket I am NOT fucking /w it until it is checked on properly and fixed since it could downright burn my shit. Right now I've sent it back and it will probably take a while to see what's wrong with it. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's not the socket and i'm mishearing. Either way as ex tech support - too loud and weird of a noise for comfort. From what i've researched - not gud. No touchy.

I will be finishing everything from Patreon and that one Toyhou.se code comm the moment I get my laptop back, and then pull my patreon sketches and finally close the damned thing. I am not happy with my current skill level at all and want to get back to studies and experimentation until moving to Romania at the end of the year.
We also have to plan and handle our wedding, which was supposed to take place this year's July. Seeing how thing's going with COVID that will probably have to be postponed by...a lot, probably. I don't know, neither of us does. We were looking forward to this but I'm afraid it just won't be a thing for years to come anymore...which makes me incredibly depressed ngl.

- I've been busy with school and my mental health in general, which unfortunately keeps declining. Found out the uni's psychologist is overrun by students now during 'rona lockdown and I have no chance with the waiting list. I desperately need treatment but the Netherlands has easily the worst availability of medical personnel, especially mental, in the entire european west and according to wifey, it's getting worse. Can't believe I'm saying this but this is actually better in my 2nd world country manz...I have a better chance at getting treatment in Romania of all places and that's....something.

Until then, I just have to struggle, scrape and claw for a little while more. I should be graduating late in February, so 70% of my life's stress should be going out the window that very moment. It will make my brain rot way easier to handle and give me some time for peace, and I will be able to focus on bettering my skills until I'm happy enough with my art to take on freelance work again. Oh, and the bach's diploma after all these years won't hurt either. Maybe I can get a gig or two in actual gaming projects once my brains get put back together P:

Despite my yammering and moaning, it's not /so/ bad. My soon to be wife is also the strongest support and grounding system I've ever had, and is loving and patient enough to put up with me and kick me in the nuts when necessary to be pushed forward. So, there's that~

I wish the best to y'all, stay safe, wash well and mask up!

Why is literal z**phillia allowed on this hellsite and how is that legal bruh

For the past one year and a half I've been struggling to find explanations for my inability to do certain stuff the "normal" way, which has been getting considerably worse to handle since the pandemic stress has essentially choked me fully.

I have a couple of existing diagnosis for my mental issues already, except they barely explain away a third of my emotional, cognitive and sensory processing issues. Which make a LOT more sense under ADHD.

I found out I was actually diagnosed with ADHD as a kid when I told my mom I suspect this, and my mom just deadass confessed she kept that away from me my entire life because I "seemed to do fine in school", which I am still quite furious about.
I did not, in fact, do "fine" in school and I either needed a lot of extra special help from tutors who barely had patience with me or I just straight up copied off my phone during tests and avoided classes I know I would be called in front for, which nearly got me held back multiple times - something that REALLY sucks and fucks one's future up in my country. Thank fuck I somehow slithered through.)

I've almost killed myself on accident due to lack of nutrition and care when I was alone back in 2015 struggling with this, and have noticed I quite literally can't function properly without body doubling, which I've somehow had the luck to have organically when I came back to my studies. Living with student friends who checked on me often and cooked with me and made sure I focus on my work when it is time was a miracle for me and I can't possibly thank them enough for being there for me. <3

I've already filled in my CAARS and got reasonably major results on all symptoms with next to null inconsistency points, which frankly troubles me a lot but it does make sense...

I've struggled my entire life trying to be "normal", to keep up, and always fell on self-hatred for my inability to do so, constantly comparing myself to others. At least this makes a lot of sense now and I feel less like a defect.

I will be contacting a professional as soon as my studies are over and we're back in my homeland because mental health services in the Netherlands are a mess lmao.
For now I'm doing alright-ish as my fiancee is taking good care of me, but I would like to get on both ADHD and my right depression medication asap really.

https://www.deviantart.com/kassille.....hosh-790920975

Just fyi don't buy anything from this person and report the stolen/traced pieces. Thanks.

Good news:
I am nearing the end of my Game Design & Production studies and am currently starting and working on my graduation project. : "D
It's essentially both a game and a rehabilitation app for physiological therapy. Right now it's in research and conceptualization stages but I'm excited to see how it'll go. My team is small, talented, focused and of similar goals and minds so that is all good for once (bad luck with teams overall until now somehow XD).

So, overall, this project will be extremely time consuming and important to focus on,so I've decided to put a pause/unlist on Patreon soon and see maybe If I'll return to tiered memberships over onto Ko-Fi (active btw! you can support me there as I will slowly move all of my stuff there. I will be using DB for high-res images and other files I can't post there and there will be a big folder with sub-folders subscribers will have access to, which makes sharing and manipulating my stuff way easier. There's many other reasons i'm moving from Patreon, financial and logistical and everything inbetween. It's been an interesting year or so testing my workflow, experimenting with Patreon and new drawing/modeling programs and so on, and I feel a bit overwhelmed and like I need to stand back away from extra responsibilities and focus on anatomy, light, composition studies, sculpting , modelling, animating etc.


I've lost a lot of interest from watchers during my school studies but It had to be done unfortunately! Starting fresh is scary but at the same time kind of fitting considering I'm re-wiring and meddling with stuff a lot now. I'm also working on collaborative studies and pieces in the bg with my wife rn, practicing together and slowly working towards a finished piece together : > KHROMATIKAL was initially supposed to be a one-person freelancer studio but it turned into more in the end lmao.

I don't really know where all of this will lead and the future is uncertain due to obvious reasons, but I know that I'm quite happy focusing on myself for once instead of searching for other people's approval of my art and trying to find what /I/ like and want to focus on.

TL;DR i'm closing my patreon, focusing on studying in my favorite mediums way more, moving most of my exclusive stuff like sketches and videos and special rewards onto ko-fi slowly but surely, probably gonna open it fully in 6 months when i'm done with my project :">

Slowly coming out of my Hiatus. Reasons for this were:

I was forcibly moved out of the house by my mother for adopting a kitten and my current temporary apartment has broken internet (provider refuses to fix it), been juggling infestations, school and having to help that same mom with a failing tiny family business for 8hrs+ a day.

Currently focusing on finishing owed rewards for my Patreon and restructuring my life. COVID has also been pretty rough on my mental state, I refuse to go into details.
Kind of feel like it was a mistake to start a Patreon this early without finishing school and moving out first, but I want to stay true to the people subscribed to me rn.

Things are looking up though, as I will be moving in with my fiancee and her parents in the Netherlands soon where I will also hopefully be getting a proper diagnosis and medication for my ADHD which has been getting considerably worse, as well as a loving family that doesn't scream 24/7 or find reasons to start unnecessary arguments. Really looking forward to peace, for once.


At least I managed to finish my internship and only have my Graduation project left for my school next half a year. Hopefully I can graduate with no issues before I get riddled with debt I can't pay (I have to finish by the end of next year, or else... :") )

I'm hoping I can use my 3D and vector skills to focus my Graduation on projects that can also help my parents with their business (woodcutting, printing, 3d printing, etc.). My teachers have been ignoring my e-mails for the past few months so idk, pretty stressed about that :))))

Friendly reminder that what I currently use (krita) is an open-source completely free software that also supports saving as .psd (photoshop) files
It has also quite a lot of custom traditional-like brushes and blenders and it doesn't lag as badly as PS does
I've pretty much completely switched over to this program over this year. I did a PS vs Krita comparison and it's not just better looking, but also faster and more efficient in my opinion.


Sharing is caring so yeah <3

https://krita.org/en/ Krita itself


https://www.deviantart.com/grindgod.....t-v5-550590458 - Brushsets for Krita

Click here for my Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/KHROMATIKAL

It's still under works but I'm already pumping out daily content ^w^ Support me there if you'd like~

Thanks y'all! <3

Anyone remember that (cool) hellsite

I recoonnected with some on Dev already so just curious :D

A good few years ago I did some character redesigns for people for fun and practice. I'd like to do that again so just drop your ref(s) in the comments! I'll handpick only a few so please don't feel bad if you don't get one. I'll do this from time to time again ^^


Have a good one and stay safe y'all

What the title says :D

Follow me for my 3D projects both past and future:

https://www.artstation.com/khromatikal

Guess who's back


Back again


Khrom is back

( Tell a friend)


Corny, old song reference aside...I'm forreal back this time!

To make it short:

It's been a few long years. I focused a lot on school and college time and those really flew by. Regardless...I've learned a lot, experienced a lot, and through this soul-searching journey I learned that I really, really like working with other people's characters the way I used to before school.

Don't get me wrong - College life and school work has been exciting and a very good learning experience for me but I realised through doing industry work that I truly prefer a more "freelancer" kind of work.

Right now I'm in my 4th and last year of Game Design school. I've done a ton of 3D work and feel like going back to my 2D roots while working at my internship and focusing on finishing my last year of school.
I'm slowly weaning back into 2D work with some very old, overdue commissions I'm 'bout to offer for free and then I'm going to open some brand new doors for myself.


I also plan to work on separating my SFW and NSFW accounts further and making a Patreon as well as O*nlyfans! Hope to see y'all there <3



Oh and as a sidenote...I got engaged 'bout a few months ago. I plan on working a few pieces with my fiancee where I do the characters and she does the environment, as she's a 3D/2D environment artist c:


I'm very excited to come back to the fandom and stay for at least a long, long while!

Seeya!

Sorry @ all for disappearing like a lil flower.


I've been dealing with lots of issues these past months, had no mcfucking tablet anymore to do anything, and I've been working hard at my tech supp. Workplace to...get a new one!!


Which I did like a few days ago!!! AND ITS...MMMMM 👌👌👌👌

Right now I'm preparing hard for my intake back to game design on the 12th, but after I'll be s00per active again my dudes.

I have some owed stuff that I should've finished months ago, and I apologize deeply for that!! I'll get to work asap <3

For deleting the /entire bandcamp account/ so as to not let anyone be able to access their BOUGHT ALBUMS anymore.

I knew Renard was an asshole for a variety of reasons, and I stopped being a supporter quite some time ago, but nice move to everyone who /did/ support you/still are and paid for tons of your albums.

Considering the large amount of albums OG lapfox fans usually bought from bandcamp...lmao hope you enjoy losing even more of the little fanbase you were left with.

Really tired of having my art constantly stolen and reposted to various sites, especially tumblr.

People don't even have the littlest decency to at least source and credit me.

I'm so tired of just browsing one day and finding one or sometumes even multiple pieces reposted by multiple people, no source, nothing.

And they get more notes/feedback than my originals.


Sincerely, fuck you if you do this. Just fuck you. People like you sometumes make me want to stop being public about my art.

you really didn't want to listen, did you?

dude's not even in the chair yet and fucking everything up

i love the smell of regret, trump voters are losing their shit everywhere

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa and we're gonna go watch fantastic beasts in 4d

I can't wait!

I've been working on those adopts too and I should start uploading them tomorrow

The first journal in my life where I actually congratulate you

The submission layout is rly good tbh and looks professional


i like