For those of you that are going this year, I'll see you there. I'll be arriving sometime in the evening tomorrow. Those of you that know me, you'll notice I'm a little... bigger this year than I was last year. Could have something to do with the fact that I'm 33 wks pregnant as of today. :D

My little hatchling is due on May 4th... Yes... May 4th.

May the 4th be with me.

See you guys at the con!

So, apparently I just hit 10000 page views.

Wow.

Thanks all!

I may do something special for the person who already got the screenshot... ;) you know who you are.

How old are you?:
27

How tall are you?:
5'6"

Are you taken? Are you looking for a mate?
Happily Married, thanks.

Where are you staying?
At the hotel.

What day are you getting there?
Today, sometime around 4:30-5? Depends on traffic.

Who will you be with?
Too many to name them all, but a few include:

 draconium  edolon  mune  raverfox420  jamesbluewolf  Draekos

Who will you be traveling with?
My husband is dropping me off... Does that count?

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Everyone!

Are there any panels you might be attending?
There might be, I'm not sure what's on tap this year.

Are you attending any stage or public performances?
Um... Maybe?

Will you be suiting?
Yes, but not going with my full military get up this year. Doesn't fit this years circus theme. :P I'll have my head/tail on though.

Which suit(s) will you be bringing?
Cipher

Do you draw?
I like to think I can, but most of my work looks like garbage to me.

Can I talk to you?
Sure.

Can I touch you?
Um... Define touch... I give hugs, but please ask first. If I already know you, feel free to glomp.

How can I find you?
Just look for the cool "Tron Dragon".

Can I visit your room?
I'm not likely to be in my room except to sleep, and I'm rooming with others, so no.

Can I buy you drinks?
Absofreakinloutely.

Can I give you stuff?
Um... Sure. Depends on what it is. Ask me if you're not sure.

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
If I know you, sure. New people, not till I get to know you.

Are you nice?
Always. Unless you piss me off. I think most people are like that.

How long are you going?
I'll be there till Sunday sometime.

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Just come over and say hi. Tell me who you are and where you know me from... that's a good start.

Where will you be most of the time during the days?
Dealer's Den, or milling about the rooms.

What/where will you be eating?
Dunno. Whatever my stomach demands. Probably get some sushi in there at some point.

Can I come with you for food/fun etc?
Uh, depends on who I'm with at the time. I don't personally mind, but I can't speak for my posse. :P

Can I take your picture?
I suppose. As long as I look good in 'em, you can keep them. :P

What’s your goal for the con this year?
To hang out, see friends, maybe buy something for myself.

A year ago today, I married the love of my life. Still happily in love. That is all.

I'm bored. Entertain me, ask me questions, I will answer.

Look for me on Facebook as Cipher Isradia.

Please let me know your FA name if its not obvious. :P

ALSO!
I'm looking for any pictures of me from Furnal Equinox. If you come across any, please point me to them. My own After Action Report will follow soon.

Figured I should do this seeing as I'll be going to this tomorrow...
–

---

FE MEME

Where are you staying?
Sheraton Hotel

What day are you getting there?
Friday, March 8th

Who will you be with?
 drgn8D and  edolon and I can't remember who else is staying in our room...

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
All of the peoples!

Are there any panels you might be attending?
We'll see... I tend to float around.

Are you attending any stage or public performances?
Not sure. Might do the fur suit games if there's space.

Will you be suiting?
Yes! First time too! It's a partial... Look for the uber decked-out military gear dragon. And don't worry, the "gun" isn't real. It's a paintball marker. :)

Which suit(s) will you be bringing?
Cipher, for the first time everrrrr!

How can I find you?
Like I said above, look for the uber decked out military gear dragon.

Do you draw?
Yes.

What are your limits to drawing?
Drawing. :P

How old are you?
26

How tall are you?
5'7"

Are you taken? Are you looking for a mate?
I am taken, happily married in August thanks. :)

Can I talk to you?
Absolutely, just tell me who you are first!

Can I touch you?
Um... Where? No.

Can I visit your room?
Not really... I don't spend much time there.

Can I buy you drinks?
I like drinks, so of course!

Can I give you stuff?
What kind of stuff are we talkin about here?

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
For sure you can hug me! Snuggles.... If I know you well enough, I suppose.

Are you nice?
Like most dragons, I'm nice till you piss me off... Advice? Don't piss me off. :)

How long are you going?
Friday to Sunday afternoon

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Come introduce yourself! I don't bite... Hard. ;)

Where will you be most of the time during the days?
Wandering the con space.

What/where will you be eating?
All of the foods! I'll eat just about anything.

Can I come with you for food/fun etc?
Depends... Ask me first.

Can I look in your sketchbook?
I don't have one of my own work.

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
Sure! Do I have to pay you?

Can I take your picture?
Sure, if I'm in my suit!

What’s your goal for the con this year?
Have fun suiting for the first time and see lots of my friends!

I want to know if any of my watchers would be interested in any of the crafting things I am doing or are thinking of doing.

I currently make survival bracelets: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4914251/
I have the ability to make yarn art and can do custom pieces like: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9572544/
I am also getting into making these: (this is NOT my work, just an example of what I want to do...): http://www.etsy.com/listing/1079707.....e_id=369696837

Thoughts?

Warning: the following is venting/ranting. Feel free to read if you're interested. Comment if you wish.

---

Lately, I've been feeling useless.

I've been trying, for ove two years, to find a job in the graphics industry. I know (now) that its a saturated market, and there is too much competition for the scarce jobs that are out there. I applied like crazy out of college. Nothing. Most businesses out there don't even bother to reply or say 'We got your résumé. Thanks for applying.'

While I understand that time is money, and that 99% of them don't give a shit about people, it still sucks for those applying. I took the fucking time to sift through job ads, found one, applied to it with my résumé, and I don't even get a 'Thanks for trying, but we don't need you'... I'd almost be happy with that response. Since when did our society become so 'busy' that we don't even have the common courtesy to respond to someone. Hell... Most email systems have an automated response function that they could enable with a simple message. No extra human interaction minutes needed.

With their lack of response, I have no way of knowing what it was that I didn't have to my name that they were looking for. I have no way to know what to improve upon. It's also disheartening.

They also seem to want experience, but aren't willing to give you the chance to gain any either. I'm not asking for a handout, or pity, or anything like that... Just a fair chance to prove myself worthy.

I know to expect a certain amount of rejection, but this seems ridiculous. I know the economy is bad. It's not a crutch, but its not helping. It seems now, more than ever, that its 'Who you know' or 'who you blow'... It makes it tough to get anywhere.

I'd love to start my own business, but who has the money for that? I don't. I work in security, and it pays just above minimum wage. Yes, it's better than nothing. Not arguing that. It just means that I'm stuck living pay to pay. I can't save any money to start a business. Same thing with going back to school, upgrading, or taking up a new career. No money.

I feel as though I've wasted my time going to school, getting an education, and having to work any old job just to get by. I know that I am not alone, and in fact, there are more educated people than myself out there that can't get jobs in their field either.

I'm feeling useless. I don't know what to do now. Things just seem bleak.

Ugh.

DISCLAIMER: I respect all religions/faiths/beliefs. All individuals are entitled to their own beliefs and I am happy you have found your way. Please do not try to convince me that your religion 'is the only true religion' or similiar. Those comments will be ignored/hidden. I'm looking for discussion and possibly guidance, not your 'sales pitch'. Positive, respectful posts are welcome and encouraged. Thank you.

---

I am conflicted about my spirituality and 'beliefs' I guess. I was raised in the Catholic dogma and faith. However, having my life so far to examine things, I find I do not believe in that faith any longer. Out of respect for those that do believe, I will not express reasons. Suffice it to say, I find the contradictions hard to ignore.

I have always felt that I believe in the 'power' of nature. It has fascinated me. I marvel at its beauty and ability to adapt. I feel a deep attraction to the moon for some reason. I don't know what it is about it. When I'm outside, especially in the dark night of winter, I feel 'at home'. I feel a profound comfort and sense of ease when I'm outdoors. I love camping, love canoeing, and just sitting in the woods or park.

I don't believe in God or a 'god', but rather a higher power. I cannot prove/disprove what that power might be, or that it even exists. By definition, I suppose that makes me Agnostic, but I don't think it's completely me. The natural element seems to be ignored. I can see the power of nature, and feel it. I know it exists. But where does that put me? Is this whole exercize just my attempt/need to have a label?

I have always respected and admired the old ways of the Natives here in Canada. There is some Native heritage in my bloodline, it was only suspected, but was recently confirmed. I don't have status as the law sees it, but its there, in my genetics. Do I have a right to experience that part of my culture?

Perhaps there is something for me in the Pagan views? I don't really know any Pagans to be able to ask them/discuss things with them.

I don't know. I feel sort of lost.

Again, any help is appreciated.

~Cipher

I just need to vent, so ignore this if you don't like/don't want to read this sort of thing.

I want a career that I can be proud of. I want to know what it's like to go to a workplace where I LIKE to go to 'work'. I went to college, got an education, graduated with honors, applied like a mad woman, and yet, I don't have a job in my field. I know the economy is shit, and there are many others that probably have more education than I do, who can't find work in their field either. It's become demotivating. I have no desire to design things, because I lack motivation. I have no inspiration. I feel like I've lost my way. I don't know how to get it back. On top of that, my graphics computer is dying on me, so it doesn't work right. This takes away from my time working on things I like to do. Now, I plan to use my income tax return to fund a new computer in the spring. That's a few months away. I have a thought in my head of having my own business, but you need capital for that. Adam and I are living ok, but we're kinda feeling like we're living paycheck to paycheck, with not a lot to put away. We're both trying to get into our desired fields, but things just seem to be conspiring against us.

In the meantime, I'm stuck working in security, in a place where I have no room for advancement, no benefits, and a supervisor that doesn't give two shits about the well-being or happiness of his staff. I work a retarded shift rotation, and I work nightshifts. I hate them. I've called the main office to try and get onto a dayshift, but I don't think they have any spots open right now. Don't get me wrong... I'm happy I even have a job, but it's draining me. I feel exhausted when I get home, and I have no desire to do anything. The apartment looks like a disaster zone because I'm too damn tired to keep up with things. Adam's back has been bugging him, and with him having fallen at work recently, he injured it, so by no fault of his own, he can't really help with a lot of the housework either. Totally not his fault. He feels horrible, and wants to help. I feel like a horrible person because I feel too tired to do things... it's a vicious cycle.

I'm just feeling a little run-down and demotivated, and I'm not sure where I've gone wrong or how to find my 'mo-jo' again.

If you've made it this far, thanks for taking the time to hear my ramblings and feelings.

Well... That went so much faster than I thought it would. I won't bore you with details, cause there's only about 5 ppl that actually read these things.

I am back home now, and feeling relaxed. Back to the grind tomorrow night. Ugh.

I'm getting married today. 4pm EST.

I will be making a brief 'appearance' on Sunday to check in on things here, and then I will be on honeymoon.

Just thought some of you might want to know.

Cheers.

~Cipher

Ok. You all know I'm getting married soon, and that comes with a stag n doe.

Here's the deal. You buy a 'ticket' for $10 and I will draw you one of two things: an animated icon (yet to be designed) or a color bust/headshot pic. Art will be done when I have time, up until after the honeymoon, and then I should be able to plow through them.

If you're cool with that, note me and we'll talk.

PLEASE PASS THIS ALONG! I'D LOVE YOU FOREVER!

Two calendar months and one hour from today, I will be standing before my family, and saying my vows.

Right now, I'm in a whirlwind of emotions and moods. One moment, I'm stressing, the next, I think to myself "Hey, relax... You got this covered." I'm anxious to get it over with, but not because I'm having a hard time or second thoughts, but because I HATE WAITING.

Everything to this point has been going so much smoother that I thought, and I think most of that is because of my awesome Aunt. She has been my go to gal, and basically, my planner. She's helped me out BIG TIME, and I feel that I could never repay her that kindness. All she would tell me is "All I want in return is for you to be happy, and look beautiful. You'll have no trouble with that I'm sure" THAT'S the kind of woman she is. her.

Anyway, just thought I'd throw this up before I head to bed.

Peace!

Why in the world can I not find a decent pair (well, 5 pairs) of lime green socks?!? Every place I've found that has something close to what I want charges a fortune in shipping. I mean, $30 for 5 pairs of socks? Really? Don't ship outside the US... F that.

I NEED to find some lime green socks for my groomsmen. There can be no compromise. I will dye them myself if I have to, but I really don't know what I'm doing in that regard.

PLEASE HELP! (Serious replies only please.)

Cause I need a break from wedding prep work

1. We all know what we call you, what about the folks at home? Whats your name?
Pam. On my birth certificate, it says Pamela, but only about 5 people are allowed to say the whole name.

2. How tall are you?
5'7"

3. Natural hair color? (if you can remember it)
Medium/dark brown (the medium brown is a natural highlight)

3. What about eye color?
Blue/Green. Depends on what I'm wearing... some colors bring out one or the other

4. What orientation are you?
Hetero

5. Are you single, taken, or undecided?
Taken, and will be wed in August. <3

6. What do you do in your spare time?
Um... Spare time? What's that?

7. What's your job?
Right now, security.

8. What's one thing you like about yourself?
I'm easy to get along with

9. Alright, now what about something you dislike about yourself?
I'm a little overweight from not exercising like I used to. (only about 20-30 lbs overweight)

10. What are some things your friends noticed about you when they first met you?
I'm pretty accepting, and again, easy to get along with.

Good! Hold on, yer coming up on some deeper questions now... ready?

11. Of what faith/religion are you (if any)?
None. I'm a naturalist though.

12. Do you drink?
Occasionally

13. Do you smoke?
Never.

14. What are your fears?
Earwigs, and losing someone close.

15. What are your dreams/goals?
Ah, you know, win the lotto, get a nice house, and chase kids off my lawn with a pressure washer or a paintball gun... Seriously though, I'd love to have my own design/print shop, two kids, and a comfortable life.

16. Ever had any crushes/ex's in the past/present?
Oh yeah. Who hasn't?

Almost done!!! Time for some lighter topics now :D

17. Who's your best bud?
KD. That's what I call her cause her name is Katy.

18. Alright, you got the cravin' for munchies, what'cha reachin' for?
Veggies and dip, or some crispy minis

19. Favorite drink?
Tea

20. Favorite color?
Blues and Lime green

21. If you had any super power, what would it be?
Seen X-Men? Know Mystique? Like that. Juuust like THAT. Shapeshifting with a heal factor.


22. Favorite movie?
omg... waaaayyyyy too many

23. Least favorite food?
Most coleslaw... especially the KFC shit. *puke*

24. Quick! You have only one meal left before you die!!! What is it?
...if I knew I was going to die, I wouldn't be stuffing my face. I'd be kicking the arse of whoever was planning it. Besides, it wouldn't matter what the meal was, it would matter who it was with.

25. What do you drive/wish you drove?
I drive a KIA Forte. LOVE my car. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Wish I drove a Lambo Aventador.

Last 5 questions. You're in the homestretch, come on, you can make it! Lets see what gets under your skin.

26. Most disliked bug?
Earwigs.

27. Most hated pet peeves?
People physically poking me. Want to get my attention? Use my name. Use your words.

28. Dislike in life?
How does someone pick an answer to this?

29. Most annoying sound?
A certain 'high pitched' voice my fiance does. It drives me absolutely bonkers.

30. Most disliked TV show?
WWE or whatever they call that shit nowadays. SOOOO fake it's unbearable.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3345940/

Go check this out if you're a dragon!

I need the help of my watchers. I'm tryin to find someone that can mix/remix a theme so I can use it in my wedding ceremony. I need someone who has a good soundset and can make it sound like real instruments as opposed to synthetic instruments. I don't have a lot of money to spend on this, but I can pay something.

I had Fredrik in mind, but he's been swamped with his own work lately. Can anyone reccomended someone?

Thanks to your help!

I have two shamrock badges at FE. Come find me down in the dealers den. That's likely where I'll be.

How old are you?:
25

How tall are you?:
5'6"

Are you taken? Are you looking for a mate?
Taken. Getting married in August actually. So, no.

Where are you staying?
At the hotel.

What day are you getting there?
Don't know yet. Sometime before the con starts I imagine.

Who will you be with?
Too many to name them all, but a few include:

 draconium edolon Mune raverfox420 Nuka-Kitty

Who will you be traveling with?
 draconium edolon

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Lots of people!

Are there any panels you might be attending?
There might be. I'll go to Nuka's panel (if he's doing one this year), and any other

Are you attending any stage or public performances?
Possibly.

Will you be suiting?
Not a full suit, no. I do have a tail, paws and a cool hat though. (would love to suit though) Just look for the 'TRON dragon' tail. That's what people call my tail, and me conversely.

Which suit(s) will you be bringing?
n/a

Do you draw?
I like to think I can, but most of my work looks like garbage to me.

Can I talk to you?
Sure.

Can I touch you?
Um... Define touch... I give hugs, but please ask first. If I already know you, feel free to glomp.

How can I find you?
As I said earlier, just look for the 'Tron dragon' tail and hat. I'll be rocking them all day.

Can I visit your room?
I'm not likely to be in my room except to sleep, and I'm rooming with others, so no.

Can I buy you drinks?
Absofreakinloutely.

Can I give you stuff?
Um... Sure. Depends on what it is. Ask me if you're not sure.

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
If I know you, sure. New people, not till I get to know you.

Are you nice?
Always. Unless you piss me off. I think most people are like that.

How long are you going?
Should be there all three days.

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Just come over and say hi. Tell me who you are and where you know me from... that's a good start.

Where will you be most of the time during the days?
Dealer's Den, or milling about the rooms.

What/where will you be eating?
Dunno. Whatever my stomach demands. Probably get some sushi in there at some point.

Can I come with you for food/fun etc?
Uh, depends on who I'm with at the time. I don't personally mind, but I can't speak for my posse. :P

Can I take your picture?
I suppose. As long as I look good in 'em, you can keep them. :P

What’s your goal for the con this year?
To hang out, see friends, maybe buy something for myself.

Hey there...

To anyone that might be interested, I'm having a major issue with my computer. I have diagnosed it (after many hours of searching) and I know it's a problem with my graphics card.

Apparently, my MacBook Pro came with a Nvidia GeForce 8800 GT board, which I have found out had a recall put out on it some time ago. I've only recently, like within the last 2 days, had the issue, but it's getting worse. I have an appointment to see a dude at the local Genius Bar, and to my knowledge, this repair should be free even though my Mac is out of warranty. I guess there is a 4 year recall span and I just make the deadline by a few months. So here's to hoping.

That said, I'm trying desperately to get a backup done a midst the graphics problems so I can take it in with peace of mind. I hope. I have sinned a carnal sin and not backed it up in FOREVER. Serves me right, but so far, it's backing up just fine.

SO! That means I won't be able to do any art for a little bit as I don't know how long they are going to have my computer or if it's just going to be a quick fix. I'm using my fiance's netbook (I loathe this thing, just FYI) in the meantime, but it doesn't do a quarter of the things my Mac does. *le sigh*

Anyway, just wanted to let you peeps know.

I'm doing something a little different for the con... More info: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7392788

List To Do: (For me to keep track)

Raver: Style B - 'raver' - WPAC
AyuChan: Style B - (Awaiting name choice) - PVP
Bahn: Style B - 'cobalt' - WPAC

First off, I'm going to preface by saying that there may be several spelling errors and such in this as I'm typing on my iPhone at work. So, please bare with me.

Things have just been a little hectic and stressful lately. I'm getting married in August and the planning hasn't been too bad, but it's there. Add to that the fact that my mother looks like she's just going through the motions of the whole wedding thing.

It's like she's not happy for me. I don't know why. I know that part of it might be that my step-dad and I had a falling out over a crap load of things, and haven't been able to work things out. He doesn't want to talk to me. I've reached out time and time again, but to no avail. He's practically disowned me. I can deal with that, and have come to terms with that. But I can't stand that it's had such a negative effect on my relationship with my mother. I've tried to work it out with my step-dad, at HER request, and he won't budge. I feel like its my fault, but I know it's him that's the problem. She doesn't get that.

She came to help me pick out my dress, but it felt like she went cause she had to, not because she wanted to. I turned to her, in a dress, and asked her "what do you think?" to which she hmmmd and then said, "It's up to you." There was no emotion. The answer was nonchalant. I couldnt help thinking, 'Your only daughter just asked you what you thought of her wedding dress and you say it's up to her?! Really?! That's all you have to say? Could have said, "I love it on you." or "it's not you, try another one." Something!!!'

I was pissed. I cried like I've never cried in my life. She nearly ruined that happy moment in my life. Had my 3 month old neice, my grandmother, my best friend, and my sister-in-law not been there, I probably would have yelled at her. My aunt was there too, but she knows the things that are going on. My mother is jealous of my aunt because I talk to my aunt regularly. My mom 'cut the apron strings' so to speak and has left me alone to my devices. Equally, I dont call her like I should, but that's because I don't want to call home and have my step-dad pick up. I try to avoid that. So I don't call.

Ive asked her to talk, and she just puts up walls. It's like she doesn't want to talk either, and that's driving me nuts. She's immersed herself in my neice (my brother an his girlfriend live in my parents basement) and seems content to live her life there, without me.

There's a lot more to this story, mostly about schooling, and having 'run off with some guy' (my now fiancé) and other shit, but it's all come to a head with all the wedding prep. I'm losing my mind because it shouldn't be like this.

My aunt and uncle have laid down their position in that it my mother doesn't help, emotionally, physically and financially with the wedding, she will have chosen to excommunicate herself from the family. While I appreciate them taking my side, I don't know what good it will do. My mom will just see it as a "Poor Pamela" routine and dismiss it.

They have taken my side because I've talked to them about my problems and they don't agree with how my parents had dealt with me as a young adult, and even more so now.

I'd like to say that I just want everyone to get along, but I know that a stand must be taken now, or things will get worse. The timing however, couldn't be much worse. I don't want this to sour my wedding, but I know that if it's not dealt with, it will. I've tried talking, reaching out, but to no avail.

I dont know what else to do.

Thanks for reading, and comment are welcome. Anything may help.

I've been wracking my brain about things that I could make and sell. I've come up empty. I've tried opening for commissions, but I've only ever had one MAYBE two people say anything. I've tried making bracelets/collars and other things from paracord, but no one seems interested. I'm at a loss. I'm trying to raise some money for my wedding in August, and I need to supplement my measly security wages with something to earn a few more bucks.

What I really need is a career in the industry I was trained for: graphic design/pre-press. I am also trained in the process of screen printing and can produce a product from start to finish. I have all this, and more, on my resume, but no company wants to hire me, despite the fact that I graduated with honors and all that bull. It's like it doesn't count for shit.

I didn't want this to get ranty, but I guess I needed to say it.

What I need from you guys are ideas of things I could make/sell that would actually bring in some cash. I'm at an impasse and need some guidance. Please, anything you can think of...