I always get pleasure out of asking the rodent phobic people to help me at the pet stores.

I know phobias are bad and don't feel good. I have a bunch myself but when you work in a pet store I should think you'd be able to actually work with the pets in the store without screaming or yelping.

I do offer to help them if they're being nice and trying. It's just the ones who are major jerks and queens about it that I like to watch squirm.




Unrelated except for the pet store part: I cringe when you get a know-it-all employee who gets in your face to inform you of the care of your new pet when you haven't even asked. They almost always give terrible advice and just roll their eyes when you try to tell them otherwise. You'd think with the way I just reach into the tanks and can prattle off temp, humidity, diet, substrates, etc for each animal that they'd realize I'm not an idiot or a first time buyer.

I'm not leaving and don't give a fark about the crap going on. I figured I might mention that just in case someone was worried I was leaving or something. (Kinda doubt anyone was, but yeah)

On to the main point of my journal:

I was a dunderhead and nuked all the dumb "I'm moving to Weasyl" journals. I think I got well over 100 of those stupid journals in one day. I was way beyond groggy and annoyed at the flood so I hit nuke out of habit instead of pulling up all the journals to unwatch them.

If someone happens to remember anyone who left and can let me know that would be great. I didn't want to put in all the mindless effort to individually check 1002 profiles (aka I'm lazy and have video games calling my name). I figured if anyone has names I can just go to those pages and unwatch them without the headache. I don't like keeping obsolete accounts on my list and would prefer to clean it up at least a bit.

Thanks in advance to anyone who can help :3

I just wanted to mention that. I know I had them closed for a long time and have been spotty with art. My life is pretty much Sims 3 and Harvest Moon (other than usual chores) now that I'm doing better so I'm not too busy for a commission or two.

Prices: Per situation. Expect complicated characters to be of higher cost, simple characters to be lower cost. Example: The Chai moth I did recently was $10

Best ability: MLP

Worst: Dogs/anything with long muzzles

Won't draw: Porn of any kind, gore, vore, diaper furs

Might draw: Nudes with naughty bits (this includes nipples)

Send any questions/commission requests to my notes, please.

If you'd like an alternate form of communication.....note me anyway so I can send you that. I often forget to turn on Skype and rarely have it on when playing Sims. I forget the world exists when I'm building houses and making digital people have digital sex for digital babies >.>

Thursday evening, as Xander was heading out to work I asked him to put Sheep in the freezer. He'd died a little while earlier.

Friday morning we went out for our usual errands. The first stop was a Meijer with a Pet Supply Plus near it. I usually only go there for bettas because they have the best at the best prices that I've found. I had been dying to go there for a few days even though I didn't have a want for more bettas.

Xander took me there since it practically shares the same parking lot as the Meijer. I did my usual route of bunnies, guinea pigs, birds, reptiles, fish and finally rodents. They have traditionally sold only hamsters, the odd chinchilla and mice.

Today I found rats. The first cage had two dumbo rats with standard coats (a black berk and a black hooded). They were absolutely adorable. I took a peek at the second shelf and found hamsters as expected. Then I noticed a particularly large, naked body hiding in an igloo in the middle cage. I squeed out loud.

I wanted one of those rats and was leaning toward the hairless one. I didn't want to split up the pair and the naked was solo. It was too cold to buy a rat that moment so we got some Christmas items and left.

We ran our errands and a few hours later we were back in PS+. I went straight to the rats and was staring at them trying to see gender while Xander found someone to help us.

The guy came around and was preparing to open the top bin. Xander said I wanted to see the hairless and he had a squee fit. He went on about how no one ever wants the hairless rats but how this guy was super sweet and had never bit him. I just reached on into the cage and picked him up. Not only was he hairless (and sweet as could be, if a little scared) but a dumbo too!

I was going to ask to see the other two to be certain but I was able to tell they were female by that point (Finally, a shop that separates males from females!). Not wanting to split the pair and having wanted a male anyway I said I wanted the hairless.

So the guy got a box for him and rang us out while still chattering about how happy he was the hairless was going to a good home. The guy asked what I was gunna name him and I said "Gremlin."

Gremlin is now nested down in the box we brought him home in. He's super skittish but I think he'll chill back out in a few days.

Since I couldn't watch the TV in the bedroom I went on Netflix to find some shows. I discovered Squid Girl. I have a thing for octopuses but squid have a major squee factor for me too. I haven't even finished watching the first episode and I'm in love.
\

It looks like little Sheep will be following his sister to the other side. She died only a month after I got her. I got him on Halloween so he's lived a good while longer but they were only 6 weeks old at most. I have made him comfy and he's getting lots of good noms.

I think I'll stick to buying rats from the feeder breeders at reptile shows as strange as that is to say. They're generally much healthier and come in more colors.

I'm going to breed Toph to Poodle as planned. I haven't decided if I'll breed Kuro to Poodle as well. I need feeders so I might. Poodle and Kuro are both black which means a litter of black babies. Poodle is also a rex though so I'd probably get some pretty black rex babies.

I wish I could get my hands on some different colored self or berkshire rexes. Most of my rats are black, agouti or beige (the least wanted colors). Sheep and Silver are my only blues so I need to fix that.

Siamese and PEW are high on my list to acquire. A chocolate wouldn't be passed up either.

It has been discovered that she is being an uber bitch to us because a) We didn't invite her on our vacation to get away from her and b) We didn't bring her back a souvenir she never asked for.

The place she thinks we went to is only 2 hours away. She used to go there all the time until they started to refuse checks because so many bounced (I still wonder if those were her checks....). Why would we get her a souvenir from a place she used to go to at least 5 times a year????

If she wanted a souvenir why didn't she ask? Sure we were in Illinois and not Berlin, Ohio but I'm sure I could have found something at Goodwill or made something.

We went on our vacation when her back was out anyway. She had a doctor's appointment that Friday to have tests run to find out why she was in so much pain. She was drugged out on painkillers, could barely walk and was whining constantly for attention. Why would we invite her to go to a place that is nothing but hills????? She also expected us to stop our vacation, come back down on that Friday, take her to the doctor, spend the day with her and then go back to our vacation. Who does that?!?!!?

Xander's mom called him late last night saying she wanted the tank back because she had wanted to give it to Kimmy. Her exact words when she dumped the fish on me were "If you don't want it, I'll give it to Kimmy."

She at least asked this time instead of accusing us of stealing but continued to say that she had wanted it to go to Kimmy, not us, so she wanted it back. Kinda feels like getting accused of stealing anyway >.>

I told Xander "Unless it's birthday or Christmas stuff I want to flat out refuse her anytime she tries to give us anything. She always comes back later saying we stole it or she didn't actually want us to have it."

He agreed.


This comes after one of her lunatic freak out attacks on Thursday where she yelled and screamed at Xander for 45 minutes to an hour. The worst part about it is she screamed at him for events that never actually happened. She made them up and is convinced they're real. She also screamed that our house is dirty and smells terrible when she's never been in our house. She also bitched him out for spending money he doesn't have and keeps saying we can't afford this or that when she doesn't even know what he makes. Then she went on to attack me (he was on the phone with her so it wasn't a direct attack) and that got him riled up even more. He chewed her out so royally for everything I actually had to leave the house because I was getting too anxious. When she finally decided to end the attack she said "We should hang up now before one of us says something they'll regret." He said "It's too late for you."

She was fixing to attack me in person on Friday and thought better of it. She chomped on her finger and started dragging her nails over the arm of her chair the minute I walked in the room and didn't stop until she thought I had left the house (I was behind her chair getting my boots on).

His dad said to just ignore her when she's in her "lunatic mood" because she'll just forget when she goes back to normal and be all peaches and cream again.

It got into the double digit negatives here the night before last. Other than that it's been single digit negatives and positives with wind.

I've had fire duty the last 3 nights. I've gotten very good at building large fires and the cats worship me. I did manage to burn myself twice. The first time didn't leave a mark and just stung for a minute or so. I'm still healing from last night's burn though. That one hurt for a good long while but is minor so it should heal in a day or two.

The bad night I had to suit up and get more firewood. My fingers went totally numb in under 5 minutes even with gloves so that kinda sucked. It took me an hour before they would move properly but I didn't do any lasting damage so woo!

I may or may not have a cold. I'm honestly not sure. I know it's not the flu at least. I woke up with a whole body ache, a headache and I can't warm up at all. I've had a sore throat, cough and sneeze the last several days. It also could just be from fire duty. My asthma hasn't be amused with the ash and smoke that gets stirred up when I roll the logs or have to burn papers. The Aterax has me sleeping through the whole night instead of being up every half hour or so, so I should be able to sleep it off easily enough.

The water in the water bowls froze up in the kitchen but the animals are all doing well. I moved the rats out of the kitchen before the freeze. Only the rabbits were still in there and their cages are elevated.

Lots of fun has been had. Now bring on the 40 degree temps so I can thaw out my bones!!!

I got the results of my blood today. My blood work came back better than it ever has. I have no signs of a thyroid problem, kidney failure or anemia. This is great considering when I was 19 I was told I was so deficient in everything I was close to having organ failure and they thought I needed to be medicated for thyroid issues. I was told when I was 15 I was borderline anemic and had to be careful to avoid becoming anemic. So woo!

The doc once again asked why I wasn't taking the Paxil and fussed that I still refused to take it. She asked "You said you got sick. So what happened? Did you just get an upset stomach?" I replied "An hour after I took the first dose I so violently sick I was expecting to see blood in my vomit." She said "Oh...." and we asked for the Aterax. She didn't hesitate to say yes.

Aterax is the anti-anxiety medication I was on in high school to allow me to be able to actually go to school without vomiting every morning. I've never had an issue with it so I wanted it again. It doesn't take care of the whole problem but it helps enough I can deal with the excess on my own. I'd rather learn to deal with it with help than have to be numb with medication anyway.

She's keeping me on the Ranitidine for another month and then wants me to try and go without it. She said if I can't, I can keep on it. She doesn't know if I'll be able to live without it at this point but she's hoping I'll be able to cut back to one pill a day instead of two.

Also she finally refilled my inhaler. It is now an ugly red thing instead of my cute (yet ugly colored) inhaler I'm used to. Maybe I'll decorate it >.>

She did officially diagnose me as lactose intolerant. I gave up telling her certain dairy products don't bother me. Some do so I'm at least mildly lactose intolerant. At least she didn't give me more pills. Luckily I love soy so hello soy ice cream <3 (I only like cow milk in my cereal though.)

Xander's cousin didn't want the goldfish his mom got. She gave back the betta but refused to take the goldie. So now I either take the goldfish or the toilet does.....

I really hope she doesn't make a habit of this. I've already taken cory cats, mollies, a guppy, neon tetras, platies and now a goldfish. I don't have the room to create a fish room for unwanted fish >.< The least she could do is pick out the fish I like since I'm gunna end up with the poor critters anyway.

I just gotta hope my barb will play nice with the goldfish long enough for me to get a proper goldfish tank set up. (I still haven't found more panda barbs so he's still solo.)


[Edit] His mom called again a few minutes later to tell us to take the betta too. So now I have a goldfish she bought as a replacement and the emerald betta I originally got her as a gift. Time to put the betta on a diet!!!

We went up to Chicago to visit Ces for a few days after Christmas. We got back this morning (the usual 6 hour trip taking 9 hours due to weather).

The visit was lots of fun. I spent a lot of time playing Black Flag but stopped when I got Harvest Moon A Tale of Two Towns. I didn't want to get super far in Black Flag when I don't have it and the save was on his account on his xbox XD

I tried to eat Chinese when we were there. That didn't end well. Apparently Panda Express is okay but going to Gong Ho for Chinese was not. I got three bites of my favorite sweet and sour pork, had egg drop soup and combination fried rice though so at least I got to eat a bit of it.

The puppy did well while we were up there. She found her bark a few days into the visit. Xander said "She said her first word!!!" and I replied "And I'm pretty sure it was 'Fuck you'." because he'd just been mildly scolding her XD Ces's cats didn't know what to think about her. Layla thought she was a new toy and Midnight was like "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

Midnight and Layla were totally lovey dovey with us. I was worried they wouldn't be. I had a cat when I was younger who went from "ZOMG I LOVE YOU THE MOST!!!!" to "I HATE YOU!!!!" when my mom took him away and gave him to my cousins. I was never able to fix that relationship :/ Anyway Layla and Midnight loved us so no sad moments. We were woken up a few times by one of the two wanting attention in the middle of the night.

I played Halo with Ces and Xander watched Dr Who with him so that was fun. I watched a lot of the Dr Who episodes too but sometimes I fell asleep or was playing HM.

Got back home and had to rush Goblin off to the ER Vet. He's on medication for a bladder infection that could cause a blockage. If his meds don't work fast and he gets blocked up he'll have to go back to the ER to be hospitalized. The doc said he could die in two days if he does get blocked up so as soon as we notice something wrong we need to load up no matter the time and get him in. He's pretty happy despite everything though so I think he'll be fine.

All in all it was a great trip and I look forward to visiting Ces again (before 3 years passes again).

Xander's family has Christmas on the Eve so we already opened presents. I got my 3DS which is much excite though I must admit the camera is amusing me more than anything. I also got a pikachu plush doll and thankfully his mom got me socks instead of panties this year.

We got cookies, a Petland gift card and baking stuff as combined presents.

I was actually able to eat ham!!!!! I did wait to eat it after we got home just in case. His dad and brother kept trying to get me up to go get food and I was sulking because I couldn't eat anything. His brother put globs of butter in every single freaking veggie dish without asking anyone which killed my dinner plan. Xander got a new can of corn down specifically for me though so I did get to eat at dinner.

His family was nice to me too! I had made a joke earlier in the day that it was a Christmas miracle because it was snowing when every weather thing I checked said we wouldn't have a white Christmas. Maybe it actually was?

Tonight we head to Ces's for more Christmas, Halo and Black Flag. The puppy is coming with us since she's too little to be alone. The rest of the critters are being set up with plenty of food and water to last until we get back.

Apparently my little brother knocked his girlfriend up to which my first question was "On purpose?!" I doubt it was because my brother HATES kids and babies and also isn't too fond of his girlfriend. It wasn't too long back when my older brother got married that my little brother said he wouldn't marry his girlfriend because she's a bitch (his words though I'm not disagreeing). The only reason he was still with her was because she was willing to go to work to support his boozing.

So my little brother is gunna have a baby and my older brother is trying with his new wife. My mom emailed me immediately upon hearing the news to tell me how proud she was of them, how happy they've made her and my grandma and laid on once again that she's been waiting for grandchildren for so long. My older brother is over 40 but I'm the one she's been trying to breed for years. My only reply was "That's cool. Thanks for the Christmas card, by the way." She was unamused and declined any further conversation.

This should mean I'm free of having to be a baby maker. I've not been cleared by the doctor for having children anyway. I don't gotta breed and she won't raise a fuss about my choice in mates anymore. I'll be further forgotten and I'm looking forward to it.

I am hoping my little brother pulls his crap together and makes a good dad for this kid but I'm not holding my breath. Both he and his girlfriend smoke and are alcoholics (since middle school) so at this rate I'll be happy if the kid is born healthy.

My older brother's wife is over 30 and smokes too so I hope that baby will also be healthy.

Xander's mom got rid of the betta I gave her (that I bought with my birthday money) and replaced it with a 2.5" goldfish. She housed it in the betta's 1.5 gallon tank. The tank has a pirate ship and a filter in it so the goldfish is slamming into everything when anyone comes near the tank.

Her reason for getting rid of the betta was "She was barely eating!!!" She fed the one lone female betta a whole small tube of fish food a month. The poor thing was stuffed more than a turducken. She could barely swim as it was and hated that stupid pirate ship.

We told her flat out that the goldfish is gunna die in that tank and reminded her that I gave her that betta as a gift (that I actually put hours of thought into and went through about 50 bettas to find the right one). She got mad at us and started crying. She asked "What was I supposed to do?!!!"

I told Xander if I ever think to get her something again to remind me not to. I'm annoyed that she gave the betta way but I'm pissed about her getting a goldfish to replace it. At least the woman who got the betta will take good care of her.

After two months of not eating well due to being sick I noticed my clothes becoming super baggy. I had gained over 20lbs after Usa left which did nothing for the shred of confidence and self esteem I had left after him.

I was planning to hit the GoodWill this week to get more clothes. I didn't want to get new clothes in case I loose more weight. I'm eating rather well now but still dropping weight enough that it's noticed weekly. My t-shirts have gotten pretty baggy and my jeans are loose enough I need a belt. If someone tugged on them suddenly they'd come down without issue belt or not. It usually looks like I borrowed someone's clothes when I go out now.

That got me thinking when I happened to see my summer skirt sitting on the dryer. It didn't fit this last summer at all....I couldn't even get it over my hips comfortably. I pulled it up and it fit perfectly. I dug out my favorite jeans from high school and sure enough they fit too as did the jeans Usa gave me (that are warm, comfy and were expensive so I'm not throwing them out). I just need to patch a few minor tears in my old jeans and I'm good to go.

I still intend to get some new shirts since my Luna and Grumpy Cat shirts are so large on me they can be night shirts now. I might even dig out my Pink GIR jacket and put up my black one because it looks so baggy now.

I'm hoping my Vinyl Scratch shirt still fits, where ever it is. My Sleeping with Sirens shirt still fits nicely and my Bullet for my Valentine shirt should still fit too (once I get it from Ces).

Once I can maintain a weight I'll take my sewing machine to my now too large shirts and make them into something new that does fit.

My boobs shrank too so I need to go bra shopping. I doubt Xander or Ces will complain about that :P

This is my first year with a real Christmas tree. My mom and dad would never allow real trees in their houses but plastic trees make me break out in a rash when I touch them. This obviously makes decorating the tree rather itchy.... Xander got a real tree this year for me and it smells soooooo good.

It was supposed to be a 6' tree but it turned out to be 8' so he has to modify it to fit under out 7' ceiling XD

The cats are terrified of it but the rats wanna eat it so it's been fun.




Christmas Card Update

Sorry I haven't gotten the Pokemon card posted. I've been sleeping way more than usual the last three days so work is going slow. It is about 70% inked and then color will take maybe 4 hours at most. I will get it done but depending on how late it's done I may post it after I mail my cards. It has a gift giving pikachu and a really cute eevee on it so if you like eevee and pikachu you'll more than likely like this card.

My tetras died off over the last month or so. My pleco and loaches are still very much alive but I moved them to the kitchen tank that only had two cory cats and a panda barb (his buddies died and I haven't been able to find them in stores to get him more). They're very happy there.

I was going to get guppies for my bedroom tank because I sleep better with the fish tank sound but started looking at frogs. I've been wanting fire belly toads for years so Xander said I could get a pair of them instead of guppies if I wanted. So today we went out and got my toads.

These toads went from about 20 in a maybe 5 gal tank with a tiny, shallow water dish to a 10 gal tank for just the two that is filled to half full with water. They have a rock filter my turtle used to use (didn't work well for the turtle so she got a new filter). It has plastic and silk plants for now but I'm going to plant it when I can get the substrate and water plants. The silk plants are attached to a mock log that acts as an underwater cave too. They've spent the last couple of hours taking turns climbing onto the filter and diving into the water over and over so I think they like it XD

I'm going to try really hard to get the two cards done and previews posted tonight. The MLP one is nearly finished but the Pokemon card still needs touched up and then it's off to ink and color.

I still need addresses from people so please send those asap. If you've said you wanted one but changed your mind please let me know.



EDIT: The MLP card has been posted. The Pokemon one is halfway inked. My wrist is starting to hurt so I'm stopping for the night. Provided my wrist doesn't hurt I will work on it more tomorrow. I did change the design but it is still Pikachu and Eevee.

I told Xander's mom 2 days ago about my stomach and possible ulcers after being asked directly about my health. She had not been told about my health other than the few times we borrowed gatorade and was only told I'd thrown up (to which she then caught what I had but so much worse than I had it....somehow).

His mom is now all worked up and told Xander that for the last 5 days her body has ached and she hasn't been able to eat just like me so it MUST be cancer. She just saw the doctor today to get tested for cancer when she was just tested the month before last when she insisted she MUST have cancer then (she didn't).

I just facepawed. This is one competition I'd be happy to let her win.



(On my side of things I managed to eat half a banana and 4 crackers today without a single stomach ache! Woo! I had a ton of water too so I'm feeling much better. I'm fixing to munch on some more crackers, get some more water down and get back to sleep. I have more bananas, banana pudding, applesauce and cranberry juice that we picked up for me today too so I should be able to get a decent amount in my stomach.)

I'll hopefully get back to working on my Christmas cards tomorrow. The MLP one is almost done but I have to rework the Pokemon one just a bit before inking.

The weather report reminded me of something that happened a few years back.

My rat mentor when I ran my rattery had insisted on coming to my house to deliver my last two rats (a black and an agouti self). The whole thing was a terrible headache because she had a whole list of demands but this part took the cake.

During the week she was to come down (after delaying twice) we had gotten tons of icy rain early on and snow every day after. This meant that we had an accumulated 9" of snow with nothing but thick ice underneath. The small town we lived in did plow the roads but didn't salt them so all the roads were ice skating rinks. Xander's truck had gotten stuck in the snow more than once and they were coming in a car.

I emailed her to tell her about the town and my concerns for her and her family's safety. This is roughly the conversation that followed. (I still have the full exchange saved but it's very, very long and she is very rude and foul mouthed during it so I'd rather not post that.)

Me: Our town is small and only plows the roads but doesn't salt. The roads are like ice skating rinks and the side roads haven't been plowed at all so there's about 9" to drive through. Our truck got stuck so I'm worried about your family getting through okay.

Her: How dare you suggest I can't drive! Maybe it's you guys who can't drive! I've been driving since before you were born! I know what I'm doing!

Me: I didn't mean to imply you can't drive. Anyone can get in a wreck in bad weather conditions and I know you're going to have your kids with you. I'd hate if anything happened to you guys.

Her: And do you think I'm an idiot! You can't have 9" of snow in one day! We only got 4" up here today and we're further north so there's no way you got 9" in one day!

Me: I didn't say we got it all in one day. It's been snowing here every day all week. That's what's accumulated.

Her: You are such a bitch! How dare you try to lie to me! I bet you really are killing my rats! You just don't want me coming down there so I can't see the horrible conditions you're keeping my rats in!

Me: I didn't say you couldn't come down at all. I was just trying to give you a heads up.

Her: If you're so concerned about the snow why don't you shovel it and get off your ass!

Me: I told you I sprained my wrist and that would be a hell of a lot of shoveling to clear the whole side road so you can get to my house. I would if I could but I don't want to further injure my wrist.

Her: You are just full of excuses aren't you! You're a disgusting person who just abuses animals. I will not condemn anymore rats by giving them to you and I'm going to let the other ratteries I'm associated with know not to do business with you!


As an added note: The rats I "killed" were rats that died within 2-4 days of me receiving them from her. Several came to me underweight and sneezing. She would have all my rats for pick up packed up in boxes when I got there and shoo me out before I could get a decent look at them. Looking at the other rats people got from her and how she went about giving them to me it was obvious she was purposely dumping sick rats on me. She would then turn around and tell people "She killed another rat!" when I'd report the death to her.

I've had anxiety and depression issues for over a decade. My mom had me in and out of therapy since I was in elementary school due to it. In my second year of high school I had a total breakdown that landed me in the E.R. due to not being able to keep water down, let alone anything else (My first experience with an IV). More than one doctor has wanted to medicate me since I was 12 for both issues but my mom refused outright every time even after I asked/begged to be treated.

I've also had several full blown breakdowns while at my previous jobs which ended in me being fired more than once. I also had a breakdown going into an interview >.<

I learned to make due using my drawing and breathing exercises but the anxiety was still crippling to the point I couldn't speak to anyone or wait anywhere on my own until just a few years ago. That in turn deepened my depression because I couldn't make friends, apply for jobs, walk down the hall of a hotel to go to the snack machine or anything of the sort because I couldn't go anywhere without someone I knew with me. (I still can't leave the house without Xander or Ces but at least when we are out I can talk to people better than I used to and I don't burst into tears. I still need them to walk with me to the restroom when we're out except in certain places where I've been many, many times. Even then I need them to be within eyesight of it.) Even with that I figured I was getting better on my own and didn't need the meds but that all changed and now I can't avoid them.

Now she's seen my status updates on FB about my doctor and what's going on and suddenly replied to ask what caused my anxiety and depression. She said if I know what's upsetting me I'll get better. I pointed out that I've been dealing with this for over a decade but it got worse in the last year or so to the point I can no longer go without the meds. I know exactly what's upsetting me at all times but some hurts just don't go away and you can't make them go away either. When that answer wasn't sufficient she sent me a PM asking again and I basically said the same thing. She read the PM and never replied....which is typical of her. If it's not on my wall she never replies or even cares. The minute it's on my wall she jumps in with "My poor baby!" I only keep posting the updates on my wall cuz I have other folks I want to let know and if she finds out by way of grapevine and not on her own I'll never hear the end of it.

The other part of the genius thing is I told both her and my grandma about my problems while out to lunch with them a few months back. They just rolled their eyes and laughed at me.

My mom has a history of mental problems including depression (that she reasons in a letter is why she abused me so much when I was growing up) so she of all people should recognize what's been wrong with me for years without so many doctors telling her so.

I'll go for days with just an upset stomach and force myself to eat something (small, soft meals or crackers). Then I vomit right when I think I'm getting better and I'm terrified of eating anything afterward causing the cycle to start all over again.

My plan: Other than taking my meds that are apparently for the treatment of ulcers (I had to google my pills to find out what they were for cuz my doc wouldn't tell me. I'm not they type of person that puts strange things in my mouth just cuz someone tells me to.) I'm gunna get one of those nutribullet things. They're not a terrible price and I looooooove smoothies anyway. My logic is that if I keep the smoothies down I get extra nutrients and noms I need. If I throw it up at least it's mostly liquid XD

I used to be terrified of throwing up but I'm becoming a pro at it (aka I've figured out how to make it hurt less). It's kinda like when I got a ton of blood work done a few years back and got bored with my needle phobia. I'm going to assume these are good things even if they are sucky things.





To the needle phobia thing: I'm still absolutely terrified of Novocaine needles. Those things are the most barbaric looking torture devices. Blood test needles kinda look like sewing needles (saw one for the first time at my last blood test).

I still cry during numbing shots, IVs and throwing up but I didn't cry during my last blood test.....though I did make a lot of noises and had to kick my legs and take lots of deep breaths. I'm still really proud of myself for not crying.

Also I learned this years ago when I had a stomach bug: If you're throwing up and wanna ease the flavor eat a bunch of skittles. It will not only make you throw up til you can't anymore but skittles taste the same way going back up as they do going down. Gross but neat at the same time. (I thought I was done with the sickness when I ate the skittles.)

You don't have to buy all new toys for your kid(s) :P

I have two Christmas cards sketched out for the card exchange. All I'm saying right now is one is My Little Pony and the other is Pokemon.

I might release teasers of the Christmas cards after Thanksgiving.

Anyone interested in doing the exchange let me know. I'm making a list of addresses to mail cards to. I might have three cards to choose from. You can request which card you get or you can leave it up to chance.



People for the card exchange: 3