Past year has been a trip, tons of distractions, demotivating situations, and sorta just realizing i needed a break from quite a lot of stuff. But, all that aside, hope to be posting more regularly again soon, what with the major amount of backlog. Though paced out. But aye, eat yall later n such~. Just updating that I an pike are still kicking~ ;3

It was absolutely wonderful! Definitely must recommend the zoo, and found several wonderful places for food.  Zyyphelze was such a glorious host too~ really scored with his air bnb find, and fought the traffic valiantly anytime we went somewhere. Though i did have to offer him some protection from the sun, (sneps are sensitive to the sun in hot temps) Nothing a wing or regular tail/belly ride couldn't fix~.

And yess, he is utterly delicious, and quite a powerful snep~ and soooo sweeeeet~! ^.=.^ Though i swear he smuggled a few birds out of the zoo by the end, i can't blame em, lots of delicously cute critters there that resulted in me bringing back a belly full of souvenirs as i waddled home post flight... ~~and totally just ooooone orca nabbed from seaworld since i didn't otherwise visit it, tucked securely in somewhere to leave me with a second tail~~

Traveling has left me feeling so refreshed, and the lovely heat there was just like home~ certainly will have to go again in the future, and start getting back out to visit more folks across the us too! even eventually say high to a few over seas in person when i am able >;3

It's just so good to be able to feel this cozy and happy whilst at home now, it's been way too long since I'd gone out on a flight and got to see any friends. Feels like my old self a lot more after it~

Going to be visiting the awesome zyyphleze next week, from the 25th to the 27th, and will be quite a trip to see the west coast for I think the first time? I sure can't remeber it if I ever did >w<; so wish me luck in my flight~

Also, its been ages since I last posted a journal, skipped my last birthday n such even, as some pretty sad stuff went on, and i've put off making a journal addressing it since. Hopefully I get around to that, and uploading more of the backlog of art I've been lax in doing too. Till then, take care, and know i'm still about and kicking~.

Though I'm really on the fence about going this year, I should be there for at least 2 days, been so long since I had the chance to go to a con, but, got so much hesitation that's conflicting with the motivation to attend. If anyone else is going, I'd love to hear, as I only know of one or two attending whom I know, and it would be good to hear some other folks might be there to hang out with~

If you happen to want to meet me or such though, I'm always striving to be open to greeting new folks.

Posting this an couple of hours early, but It's that time of year again, and i want to offer a heartfelt thank you already to those whom have surprised me and made me feel extremely special and loved on my birthday, some going above and beyond and leaving me kind of speechless at their amazing consideration and care in a few gifts that have been given. I may update this to specifically thank some folks, though to the ones wishing to remain anonymous first, be it due to shyness or other reasons, your art is awesome all the same, and you nail what I enjoy superbly~ I may specifically thank folks after tomorrow, but wanted to make a little small journal on it. hurray to another year ^.=.^

Finally feeling like I just might be past covid, and starting off the new year with a little more attitude and being frank with folks! ^.=.^ For a long time in the past, my shyness and willingness to kinda take the blame, or fall for folks hasn't been great, and I've left a lot of things stay in limbo for a long while. And most of the last year, that really started to catch up with me more, as well as the year prior. It's damaged my self confidence, my mood, my disposition and even my ability to trust at times. The worry that standing up for things which I do deserve, coming off selfish, or possibly even just inconveniencing folks, preventing me from actually having the confidence to push on it or speak, has been a major problem.

It was made quite worse a long time ago, due to trying for a long time to be there for some whom I cared for and still do, that would call me scum, or other such things, and take out their anger, frustration, paranoia, or simply use me to their ends.... and while I still know there's good in those folks, I also couldn't keep up with the painful experience of having my heart torn out over and over, hoping to seek help or solace, or just to understand from other friends... but, not willing most times to actually tell everything of what occured since i didn't want to damage anyone's reputation. But, some likelly grew weary of hearing about it from me, and yet i was returning to the same person regardless after, and very often convinced myself I was to blame. which i was to a degree, for how i kept going back for so long. I do know that posting this, might anger or even upset such folks, And I apologize if it does. It is not my intention to call out anyone, or the like. But, if those involved do see this, I want you to know that I forgive those involved.

I won't detail it all here, and wish to keep the anonymity of those involved after all. But, I do hope to recover and get back to being better with folks, more social, hopeful and further trusting again. I do not know if rumors or the like where ever spread for sure, beyond some things that came up and had me quite worried some time ago. But i do hope people would meet me first before giving weight to any if they even exist ^.=.^

To those whom I've seemed more distant too the last years, or even maybe cold, I wish to apologize, though it's possible I only feel I have been such as well. Even now, the fear of what might come from me speaking out, looms over me. the possibilities and so on, threaten to stifle me. But, with my new years resolution of not restricting myself, I will try to keep on. I know these years in quarantine have been really hard and difficult for many, and a lot of things have occured. So much so, that rather than mention what might be bothering me at times, or actually speaking out, I have repressed and bottled up many things. steadily convincing myself that my issues have no weight, and thusly, where not important. which obviously isn't too mentally healthy, heh.

I have met many awesome, amazing, caring and patient people through this site, and I do wish I could help everyone equally, but, I'm just one dragon, and I doubt myself sometimes. I still will keep trying to be my best, even when I falter. And i hope that any mistakes i may make, can be rectified and forgiven.

A happy new year to everyone, even if thigs... aren't so happy for many. I do pray that we all can still hope for things to improve together going forward, no matter how bleak or awful something can be in the heat of the moment. Take care and stay safe~.

After a large part of december sick with bronchitis, I caught the new variant of corona at my work, and so now get to enjoy it for the next few weeks. Sorry for the absence during the winter season due to all of this, but I've simply been too fatigued too do much, and too down as of late to enjoy what I usually would. figured I should put this info somewhere incase someone I know doesn't know of this.

To those reading, stay safe, and hang in there.

Wanted to put out a little journal, just wishing yall all well, and saying that I'm thankful for the tons of support and people whom I've met over the years~ ^.=.^ All of those that came to me, and helped me feel like not such an outsider or oddball. Amid the hard times and the good ones, meeting new friends, losing some dear ones, and even getting overwhelmed at times... I'd not really have managed to stick around without such wonderful folks out there. And so to all those who have helped in some way or assisted, even if I might be scatter brained sometimes, and downright forgetful at others, I give this heartfelt thanks.

Your kindness let me accept myself, come out and be myself, and further explore myself. made me think on difficult questions or see new perspectives, experience the world in ways I never would have otherwise, and provided me with friendship and a place to feel comfortable. I can't list all of you, and so I'll keep this pretty anonymous though this is also to those whom watch me too. Be it for interest in me, my characters, pleasure, or otherwise, It's still flattering, and ever appreciated.

I can be quite shy or oddly non social once in a while, and my ravenous tendencies giving me the constant urge to gobble up friends to give em a proper bear hug being a little off putting to some, or i'll even be downright convinced to beat myself up mentally a little from sheer worry about how I might not be being the best person I can be for someone at the time. It can lead to long silences or periods where I might not react back to folks too timely, or hesitate so much it might come off as disinterest. So yall being understanding, and looking past such things is something I'm grateful for.

So have my best wishes to all of yall, a good day, and a big dragonic hug from myself n Pike to boot~ ^.=.^

Figured it's only right to pipe up with a journal on hissing such a milestone, though my general mood and shyness or what not has left me putting it off for a bit X3. I'm surprised to ever have hit it even, despite having quieted down around the community the last half year. Due to some plans and such going awry here and there, the steady waning of drive and motivation probably brought on by stress from my job or, odd bits of drama.

But, all that aside, thanks to those who do watch, new and old, and for enjoying the exploits of myself or my characters in the artwork I get. those who comment also deserve a bit of extra praise, as it's always reassuring to see a message or two on any post.

I'll keep doing my best to stay my voracious self, and hoard about all the wonderful folks that take such interest in me.

It's my birthday, and its quite nice this year ^.=.^ thank you to all those that remembered, and those that went above and beyond too! The days only half way through, but I'm glad to have friends like yall! Now to go and get some good eats, cause I'm starved.

Hoi`, I'm doing alright first of all, though it does seem to be lingering, i am recovering just fine~. heck, work will even be dragging me back come the upcoming week. hopefully my sense of smell returns fully by then >w>.

Family is alright too far as I can tell, and it should all prove to turn out ok. And, on the ninth of February next month, I'll be reaching a fourth of a century of being alive! my 25th birthday is coming up! I always try to leave a little thing about it ahead of time in case anyone would like to know, or care about such things, and since I know everyone can't be expected to remember every random date out there.

But, i am still really wiped out from the last few weeks as well, so I'll keep it short at that. hope yall are all keepin safe out there, or in me ;p

Good cheer to all, though i have caught covid 19 along with my family, we are all mostly fine, and it should just be an inconvenience for us. Hopefully the rest of yall have some nice celebrations and good times this christmas ^.=.^

Well, I've hit a number, yay O/ But, I always did like the number 8 too, and its an excuse to make a journal after all, and get my shy rear being more... social, active? It does definitely feel oddly more difficult than it used to be after a few years. I'm even worried I'm growing more cynical, or even worse, less considerate! Thanks to all of yall folks that have shown some interest though, be it big or small ^.=.^ and I do hope everyone is enjoying this time of year as best they can amid the pandemic, politics, issues around the globe, and even just plain old cabin fever.

I know as someone that can get lonely at the drop of a hat, that so many more people out there are really struggling lately. tensions are high, and sometimes it's hard to feel anyone cares about you. It's easier than ever to overlook the good things that occur, or the acts of kindness others do, and focus on anything bad right now, as the stress burdens some of our mind to the breaking point. I'm quite blessed in managing to hold onto my job so far, and also avoid getting sick either. But for all of the physical health I have, my mental health has certainly been being put to the test daily. To make matters worse, I often feel ashamed to even be bother by anything that might be small, and constantly feeling a growing sense of fear at showing or telling most others when I'm not fine. So many people have told me that they enjoy being around me for being happy and kind in the past, which to me, makes me feel like I let people down whenever i mention any sad emotions. but, they slip past, and, then it feels like the damage is done, cause the first few times, it's nice to get the support, but everyone has their limits. And, what i think most don't realize, is everyone is strained, stressed and fighting various emotions right now.

Which, is why myself, I'm not posting this for sympathy, though it is a bit cathartic to type this out and reflect, however, I shall keep striving to fight for a smile. at least for now. better to cry in good times, and laugh in the face of misery. that might be a quote, I dunno.
Amid all that's going on, I'm just a dragon, a simple person. If I disappeared, there are those that would miss me. Heck, maybe some watchers I've yet to meet even, sure I don't know for sure about a solid number, but, it's foolish to assume no one cares after all. That's just a thought I'd think to myself out of despair. Heck, half the reason it can seem so quiet, is due to my own tendencies lately to curl up possibly. But, I got that habit of blaming myself first, been trying to break it for years.

I don't expect many to read or see this journal, but to those who do, Take care, and be strong for yourselves and others. Working through difficult times together is important. Heh, and as the awkward feelings of self doubt start to come upon me as i pause in typing this, I think I should end it here.

I hope I can entertain all of yall that watch long into the future. Even if I'd never imagined 4 or so years ago, that I'd ever manage to be interesting in any degree to more than 10 people, let alone 800. Stay safe, take care, And to those that want it, your welcome to quarantine in me anytime~ >;3

Trying to stick in a habit of jotting down things somewhere, so have another off the wall journal.

Been in odd states of mind a lot this past month, though its not really anything new. It's far to easy to suddenly slip into a rutt of seclusion, specially anytime work picks up and leaves me with that sense that i'm not able to be around at the right times. It starts to make moments feel like eternity, whilst there all so similar, that i somehow lose a month before i know it. Things that used to comfort me, feel odd even. And it really shoots my motivation down.

But, then something always tends to occur, to push me back up, raise my mood, and leave me unable to feel bad for a time. Friends appear, maybe a little act of kindness, and it wipes it away for a time.

Course, poor sleep at times likely affects my moods too, leaving me irritable, even angry on occasion. And then feeling worse later on when the feelings fade, even if i didn't show them, just judging myself for having them. I tell myself i'm not the best, good or kind, and instead that i don't do enough for others. While others tell me the opposite. Course, even in my mind, i sometimes turn that about, to use as evidence against myself, thinking "Well, you just say those things about yourself to feed your ego. You want to hear compliments" which, compliments are nice, and im sure many people can't help but like them. But, then why do i tell it to myself in my head all the time, in private, and never share?

Arguing with myself is such an old habit, going round and round. Its about as silly as arguing with pike, my tail maw. But, its gotten more one sided the last few months. The scars from prior relationships with friends that caused me pain, flaring up and compounding it, and me sitting there telling myself reasons why i deserved it, and the fact that their really weak ones, leaves me feeling like i'm failing to prosecute myself do to bias, when it is just as likely that they had no good reason too.

But, still, with everyone down a lot lately, i wish you all the best. I'll keep fighting these dark and sad moods if yall do O/ and thank you a lot to any that read these, even 2 or 3 people seeing em does make me feel a guilty bit of happiness. >w>

Since it's been a while between now and the last journal i posted, i think it's only fair to put something here, even as the world has one disaster after another this year. But, enoguh people are talking about all that already, and i'm not some amazing expert to put up an article on it, so instead, hey, relax. Just remeber to take some times for yourselves, and get away from everything going on once in a while. Fixating on things 24/7 is only going to burn ya out, so, despite all the quarantine making us stay home, do be sure to actually give yourself some time as well! O/

Stay safe out there, stay healthy, physically, and mentally, and oi... offer a few pats to your locale dragon. Cause smiling dragons are happy dragons, no one doesn't want a happy dragon~




P.S. *not responsible or liable for nomage done by happy dragons, or any delays to personal schedule caused by said consumption.*

Wanted to mostly give a bit of thanks to those that gave their kind words, and actually liked the little doodles i'd created! really made me smile a bit to see some people actually bother to take a gander. And though it's not going to be anything super regular yet, i shall upload things that are at least decent enough in my eyes to share simply to show the slow progress.

Btw, might as well also direct some folks at a certain artist too, namely  gushyguts is holding a little one of those growth drive thingies, to actually assist with some financial issues, and should you be the highest donor of any teir, you get to cameo in a way of your choice with the subsequent pic. which, while I'm normally not a huge fan of growth drives normally, honestly makes his nice in how it's giving back ^.=.^
So go help feed em digitally and by proxy irl too if you feel like it!


In just a few weeks, imma get a year older! My birthday is on February 9th, and with a few friends birthdays just having passed, i remembered that i never really mention it much before its actual day ;3 so aye, my hatchday if you will shall hopefully have cake, carrot cake to be precise, maybe with a few tasty morsels hidden inside even~?

Hope all yall that take a peak at this journal are doing well though, and i hope to be posting a little more art soonish as well, since i've been holding a few things back from the public eye during my long working overload throughout the holidays. not to mention it seems confirmed currently that i will be attending tff, texas furry fiesta, again this year with skinner at least. will be a good relaxing trip im sure...

Now, writing these journals always feel a little odd, and i never know how to end em. So, a simple take care, be nice to each other, and have a warm, or even wet, hug from this here derg ^.=.^