I have to say, I haven't felt this good in months. The feeling isn't from breaking the rules, it's the fact that my anxiety medicine was causing me several problems. I can't remember if I posted about this, but I've been having weight problems for about a year now and I've been unable to do anything about it. My anxiety medicine causes an increase in appetite and it made me gain 40 lbs in 6 months. x.x Not only that, but I've been super tired for the past few months... like I can't hardly function it's been so bad, except today. I skipped my meds and today, I'm not as hungry, I'm not feeling as stressed, I'm feeling a little more creative, I'm not flat out bored and depressed, and best of all, my body isn't trying to force me to sleep all frikken day long. I'm more awake than I have been in months and this is just day 1 of skipping meds. I'm gonna try all week and see how it goes.

Lately I've been extremely stressed out of my mind and I haven't seen any relief of any sort from it. It feels like it's getting gradually worse and worse, too, and I am very slowly starting to lose my mind. >.< I know what's causing at least part of it, which is my parents making me do a bunch of chores every single day because they think I'm not a responsible person.

More still, I have to go to counseling for a long while before my parents will let me get on SSI. I don't know why, but I feel like I have to go through them for it. I know I don't, but I just don't know. Back when I dropped out of college, they were extremely upset at me. They are rather strict. I really wish they would let me get on it so I could move on with my life.

Something else that just recently happened is I found out I can't drink alcohol. I'm very very lightweight and I don't handle it well at all. Physically I do fine, but I of course get drunk, but emotionally my depression kicks in full force and I even get a bit aggressive, so it's not fun at all. My medicine is part of the reason for being so lightweight. I'm not supposed to drink when taking the medicine, so maybe that's why I was so emotionally distraught last night.

I'm sure there's other things I'm forgetting. I've been so stressed though that even my dreams are nothing but stress dreams. Last night I dreamed that I was trying to make some fancy macaroni and cheese. Macaroni and cheese. And I ended up failing so hard at it and making such a huge mess. Like I didn't even do it right. I some how ended up eating the cheese powder, boiled the water by itself, and I don't know what else. Sometimes things that aren't supposed to be stressful end up somehow being super stressful in my dreams and I don't know why.

Another thing that's been bothering me is my recent gender dysphoria. I never thought I'd have it, but here I am. I'm getting tired of being a male and I just feel like I shouldn't have a gender. I'm tired of my penis trying to control me. It's way too needy for me. I don't want to masturbate all the time and I can't even have sex with anyone because nobody I'm interested in lives anywhere near me. And it doesn't help I want the next time I have sex to be with someone special. I worry too much about things to do with my penis like what happens when I get older and then I worry about getting a mate.

Not being in a relationship is yet another stress factor. I kind of want to have someone, but I'm probably the worst candidate for a mate. The other person would just have to take care of me basically.

I'm either slightly hung over from last night or the stress is making me feel sick. I'm so tired of it all. I can't even stay awake all day anymore. My body just gives out in the middle of the day for no reason and tries to force me to nap even if I got a proper amount of sleep. Not sleeping enough or sleeping too much is also another factor, but not as big as everything else.

God, I'm just glad I'm not posting this on tumblr. People would be on my butt telling me how my problems aren't as bad as other peoples' and other dumb stuff.

I just kind of feel like I want to go curl up and die somewhere. My body, mind, and soul are too tired and too stressed for this.

My fursona. I feel like that's a huge part of my identity. My fursona is really how I identify myself. I hate being a human so much. I'm hoping being a monster is the right fit for me, but you know, I can't keep a fursona for more than a month. Maybe I'll get lucky this time and this will be my real self, but who knows. I've said that about all my fursonas. I have a lot of work to do before my fursona is finished, though, including a name change. I hate my real name and I'm tired of Cody Willow, plus I want something more gender neutral, but I'm having a very hard time with names. I should probably wait until my fursona is done before giving myself a new name. I'm hoping I figure out everything about it soon. It'll be a drop out of a bucket of stress, but it's something.

I don't know how to handle stress very well at all if you couldn't tell. I have almost no way of relieving the stress either so it's all just building up. I'm going to explode eventually.

A listing of my available commission slots and prices can be found on the commissions tab of my profile.
The current commissions I'm working on are listed in my workload journal as well as their status.

For clarity I will go ahead and also list commission prices here. All are listed in USD

- All commission types start at $10 except for drawings which are $8.
- Adding color to drawings costs an extra $5.
- An icon commission will subtract $5 from the total.

Payment is required up front. No refunds will be provided unless you cancel your commission.
I accept payment through Paypal and Google Wallet.
Please note: I will invoice you for the money. Payments must be sent as a product/service payment.

Please tell me if you would like to keep a commission private or have the posting delayed and I will gladly do so.

---

Will not draw...
Ponies
Homestuck
Females in sexual situations
Offensive content.

---

Copyright

I hold ownership over all the things I produce. I do not hold ownership over characters that I have not created or other things I have not created.
Do not remove or crop out my watermark from my images.
Do not use any of my characters or character reference sheets as your own.
As personal preference, please do not tag any images as me, kin, or other similar tags unless it is actually you in the picture.
Please do not repost my images without my explicit permission.
Do not post my content and try to claim it as yours.
Do not use my creations as icons unless it was made for public use or a commission for you.

---

Sales Policies
All items are sold as is. All items may be resold, but minimum wait time is one month. There is no limit on resale price.

Adoptables
All adoptables, once bought, can be changed as much as you want and you own full rights to the character. You do not have to credit me for the original work. There are no refunds for adoptables. I will also send the original art of the adoptable when bought.

Characters
Characters, once bought, may be changed as you like. I would like credit for the original character, though, if you repost the art given to you. When you buy a character, you will receive the original drawing by me as well as any other art of it I have drawn for free. Refunds are not available.

Real Life Items
I will ship items as far as possible provided the package carrier allows it. You will be expected to pay for all shipping fees, but if something comes up and there is a refund for any of the shipping you will receive that refunded money in full. If you are not happy with an item or it was broken during shipping or something else I can offer a full refund as long as you ship the item back to me. I will do a half refund when you ship it and refund the rest once the item has arrived back to me. I will also pay for all shipping fees for returns.
Allergy warning! I live with three cats and a dog and sometimes my items will be dusty! I will try to get most of the dust and other grime off of the items, but otherwise you have been warned!

1. Last beverage: Milk
2. Last phone call: I don't even remember...
3. Last text message: "Yeah I've just been too lazy to put it together" (referring to my model of the Titanic)
4. Last song you listened to: It was on the radio, so I don't know.
5. Last time you cried: Probably a few weeks ago
6. Dated someone twice: Yes. More than once.
7. Been cheated on: Yep.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Yep. >~<
9. Lost someone special: Yes? No? Not sure how to answer.
10. Been depressed: I have depression, soo....

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. purple
13. black
14. blue

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2015)
15. Made a new friend: Yes
16. Fallen out of love: Out of? uh... I think so.
17. Laughed until you cried: Probably
18. Met someone who changed you: Technically yes
19. Found out who your true friends were: I guess
20. Found out someone was talking about you: yes
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: does role play count?
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: one u.u
23. How many kids do you want: zero. Just no. I don't want kids. ick.
24. Do you have any pets: My parents have 3 cats and a dog. Me personally, I have two shrimp that live in an ecosphere. I want ferrets, though.
25. Do you want to change your name: Yes
26. What did you do for your last birthday: The usual cake and stuff.
27. What time did you wake up today: 7:25 am or something like that
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: masturbating
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: moving out of my parents' house
30. Last time you saw your Mother: today
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: My species
32. What are you listening to right now: Nothing. I don't have any music playing.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Does Thomas count?
34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: My family.
35. Most visited webpage: According to Chrome, FA.
36. Whats your real name: Brad
37. Nicknames: B-rad, Pooh, sugar-b (If you call me any of these things I will hurt you.)
38. Relationship Status: single and only half interested
39. Zodiac sign: Pisces
40. Male or female: Male?
41. Primary School: DSCS
42. Secondary School: DSCS
43. High school/college: DSCS/WKU
44. Hair Color: strawberry blond
45. Long or short hair: kind of long
46. Height: 5' 9"
47. Do you have a crush on someone: Not right now
48: What do you like about yourself: I'm not a workaholic.
49. Piercings: nope
50. Tattoos: no
51. Righty or lefty: right

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: christmas of 1999 I was 5 and had uh... testicular torsion
53. First piercing: never
54. First best friend: Jacob
55. First sport you joined: T-ball (ick)
56. First vacation: DIDNY WORL
58. First pair of trainers: ??? I don't know what these are exactly. Uh... shoes? Uh, I don't know.

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating: nothing
60. Drinking: nothing
61. I'm about to: shower
62. Listening to: nothing. This question was already asked, but I guess the music would have changed by now.
63. Waiting for: nothing immediate

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids: God, no.
65. Get married: Maybe
66. Career: artist or just sit home and do nothing with myself.

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: eyes even though I can't look at either.
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs
69. Shorter or taller: Shorter.
70. Older or Younger: Younger
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: stomach pleaseeeee
73. Sensitive or loud: sensitive.
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship


HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: does role play count?
77. Drank hard liquor: Yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts: I don't wear them
79. Sex on first date: does role play count?
80. Broken someone's heart: yes
82. Been arrested: no
83. Turned someone down: Yes. I've turned down so many girls. x.x
84. Cried when someone died: Yes
85. Fallen for a friend: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: Not entirely
87. Miracles: Yes
88. Love at first sight: It's not impossible, but improbable.
89. Heaven: Yes
90. Santa Claus: Yes, but questioning. I know historically he was real, but the current day magic one I do but questioning.
91. Kiss on the first date: Does role play count?
92. Angels: Yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: Yes, with consent
95. Did you sing today: Probably, but I don't remember
96. Ever cheated on somebody: Yeah >.<
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: To the Titanic
98. The moment you would choose to relive: None of it.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love: A bit
100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths: A little.

There is a lot going on with me all at once recently. I kind of want to get a bunch of it off my chest. First of all, I have a raffle going this week. The link is in the header. And also I've had computer stuff for sale for a while now and that's also in the header.

But uh, I'm currently having some sensory overload (thanks Autism and ADHD) so talking might help me out a bit.

My fursona has been a thing that just flops all over the place all the time. I don't even remember all of the fursonas I've had or how many times I've changed. I can't seem to keep a fursona for longer than a few months though. I always say "This is the one" but then I change it. It's the reason why most of my drawings are reference sheets. I don't draw for myself often, but a lot of the time it ends up being reference sheets because of all this. Kind of why I really really want to do commissions so I can draw other things more often. I could draw other things anyway, but I don't always remember to and I don't even know what to draw. My brain always has a million things in the air at once, so it makes it hard. Drawing is hard.

I'm still trying to find my identity as well as my niche. This goes back to the fursona thing, but also my life. I don't know what I want to do with myself. I can't even work, so that's out of the question, but my parents won't let me get on SSI unless hell freezes over it seems.

God, my family. They are stuck in this bubble where they think disorders don't prevent people from getting jobs and they think jobs grow on jobbies. I'm down to their last resorts now while trying to fight my way out of this house and to get control of my own life. They've recently been trying to convince me to be a train conductor and even going as far to say that it's like a video game. Oh god, they do not know what video games are like. Video games are fun, not work. And the difference between a game and real life is you die if you make a mistake in real life. If I were to make a mistake as a conductor, I'd die, if not get fired. Anyone who knows me well knows how much of a derp I am. I can be forgetful at times and though I'm good with numbers, I don't really enjoy numbers. My family says that I'm so smart and I'm just wasting away. I'm not that smart. And I'm not wasting my life by making it my purpose to pay bills like they have.

At this point I'm ranting more than anything. I'm going to try to keep it civil. My family just... doesn't understand me. As cliche as that is, it's true. They don't listen to me very well either and always pull the parent/grandparent/whatever card on me. I'm 21 years old and when I turn 26 I have to start paying for my own insurance which I have no way to pay for currently.

My main goals for my life are to move out, cut off contact from my family, stay on SSI since I really need it, and try to be happy.

Now I don't know what my fursona is, but I'm gonna need time to think of what I could be. I'm currently thinking along the lines of some small monster thing. Dunno how well that's gonna stick. I might even make my fursona amplifications of my emotions, likes, or feelings. I've never tried that route before. Might even focus on specific aspects and have multiple fursonas, which would be kind of fitting. Maybe multiple forms for my different moods, even? Hm... Now my brain is finally thinking about stuff! That's a good sign.

I think I might ponder on these things a bit more and see what I come up with. I might even take the time to stream the drawing of my new fursona. I should stream more often, really. x3

I can't ever seem to keep a fursona longer than a few months. Blerg. I'm not sure what I want to be anymore. I need to kind of design something from scratch again. Maybe back to an older species or something, but I don't know. I just need to figure out what sort of things I want in my fursona.

Because why not?

VAMPIRE
[X] You'd Rather Be Pale Than Tan.
[ ] You Like To Eat Or Drink Red Things.
[X] You're Lustful/Sexual.
[ ] When You're Kissing Someone, You Tend To Bite Them.
[ ] You're Dark, Mysterious, And Seductive.
[ ] You've Tasted Your Own Blood Before And Liked It.
[ ] Being Out In The Sun Too Long Makes You Feel Weak.
[ ] You're graceful, lithe, and can appear threatening or dangerous to others.
[ ] You have incredible charm and can get people to do nearly anything.
[ ] You're more active at night

Total: 2


INCUBUS/SUCCUBUS
[X] You're Incredibly Lustful/Sexual.
[X] Sex Is Almost Always On Your Mind.
[ ] You Could Make Someone Completely In Love With You By Merely Kissing Them.
[X] You're Not A Virgin.
[ ] You Burn Through Lovers Quickly.
[ ] You Can Make Love With Someone And Drop Them In The Same Breath.
[ ] If You Don't "Feed" Your Lust, You Go Insane.
[ ] You Have Strong/Long Nails.
[ ] You Could Get Nearly Anyone You Want.

Total: 3


WEREWOLF
[ ] You have a bad temper.
[ ] You're incredibly physically strong and fast.
[ ] You Love The Moon.
[X] You're Very Loyal.
[X] If You Love Someone, You'll Do Whatever You Possibly Can To Protect Them.
[X] You Would Go On A Devastated Rampage Should Your Loved Ones Be Harmed.
[ ] You Like Dogs.
[ ] You're fairly Sturdy in stature.
[X] You're Either A Good Leader Or A Solitary Person.
[X] You Have A Hard Time Controlling Yourself Half Of The Time.

Total: 5


NEKO(Cat-Person)/WERECAT
[X] You Like Cats.
[ ] You're lithe and agile.
[ ] You could fall off of anything and always land on your feet.
[ ] You Like Gymnastics.
[X] You Love To Eat Seafood.
[X] You're Affectionate And Cozy.
[X] If Someone Is Able To Sneak Up On You And Startle You, You Jump Up Or Swat At Them.
[ ] You Like Yarn.
[ ] You Like Chasing Things.
[ ] You're An Excellent Hunter/Fighter.

Total: 4

ZOMBIE

[X] You're An Outcast.
[ ] You Feel As If You're Not Truly Alive.
[ ] You'll Moan When You're Hurt Rather Than Scream Or Cry
[X] You Tend To Zone Out.
[X] You Don't Feel Very Smart.
[ ] You Like Worms.
[X] You Like Taking Things Slowly.
[X] You Like Odd Foods.
[ ] You Prefer To Suffer In Silence.
[ ] You Don't Get Much Sleep.

Total: 5


SPIRIT/GHOST
[X] You're Invisible.
[ ] You Have An Oddly Eerie Presence.
[ ] You Can Send Chills Down A Person's Spine Just By Looking At Them.
[ ] You Have Messy Hair That Is Partially/Completely In Your Face.
[X] You're Incredibly Gentle.
[X] You're Very Shy Around Someone You Find Attractive
[X] You Tend To Simply Disappear When no One's Looking.
[ ] You Enjoy Scaring People.
[X] You Like The Indoors.
[X] You Are Deeply Connected To The Ones You Love No Matter What Happens.

Total: 6


GHOUL
[X] You Will Eat Just About Anything.
[ ] You Like To Attack People Verbally Or Physically.
[ ] You Are Thrilled If You Can Make Someone Bleed.
[ ] You Wouldn't Care If You Hurt Someone As Long As You Can Get What You Want From Them.
[ ] You Like Stalking People.
[ ] You Find It Fun To Crawl Into Tight, Small, Cramped, Dirty Spaces.
[X] You Get Hungry Easily.
[ ] You Like Torture.
[ ] You live to hurt people.
[ ] You Like The Idea Of Being Insane.

Total: 2


WITCH
[ ] You're Into Wicca/Paganism.
[X] You Like Magical Objects.
[X] You Believe In Magic.
[ ] You Perform Odd Rituals On A Daily Basis.
[ ] People Find You Intolerably Cruel.
[ ] You enjoy manipulating people.
[ ] You Feel Deeply In Touch With Nature And Hate Industrialization.
[X] You Love Black Cats/Ravens.
[ ] You Practice Voodoo
[ ] You Tend To Laugh Hysterically While Picking Up On Someone You Find Attractive.

Total: 3


SHAPE-SHIFTER
[ ] You Have Different Personalities.
[ ] Your Style Could Change From Goth To Preppy In The Same Second.
[ ] You Have More Than One Lover.
[X] You're Unpredictable.
[ ] You Would Change Yourself Entirely To Fit In.
[X] You Are Fond Of Many Different Things.
[ ] You Can Easily Get Out Of Trouble By Changing Your Demeanor.
[X] You often say one thing and mean another.
[X] You Like To Leave Your Clothes On The Floor After Taking Them Off.

Total: 4


DEMON
[ ] You Have A Very Bad Temper.
[ ] You're Usually Angry.
[ ] You Have To Make Other People Miserable With Every Breath That You Take.
[ ] You Worship Satan.
[ ] You like pentagrams.
[ ] You love to mess with people's heads.
[ ] You Could Do Just About Anything Bad To Someone And Feel Proud.
[ ] You Laugh When Other People Are Hurt.
[ ] Physically Harming Someone Turns You On.
[ ] You Respond To An Insult By Viciously Attacking The Other Person.

Total: 0


ANGEL
[X] You're A Very Good Person.
[ ] You Take Care With Everything You Do.
[X] You Can Be Extremely Serious.
[X] You're Gentle And Kind To Even Your Worst Enemies.
[ ] You Cannot Hold A Grudge Against Anyone.
[X] You Would Gladly Endure Anything For The Sake Of The Ones You Love.
[ ] You're A Virgin/Have Never Kissed Anyone Apart From Family.
[ ] People See You As Being Very Pure
[X] You Are Obedient And Follow Rules Without Question.
[X] You Love God.

Total: 6


Fairy/Elf
[ ] You Enchant People.
[X] You Like Organic Things.
[ ] You're Almost Always Smiling.
[ ] You Love The World Around You.
[X] You Get Attached To Animals Easily.
[ ] You're A Walking-Talking Chick-Flick/Prince-Charming.
[X] You Fall In Love Easily.
[X] You Don't HATE Anyone.
[X] You Have A Very Bright/Bubbly/Friendly Personality.
[ ] You like long hair

Total: 5

So I'm a spirit/ghost/angel. Interesting. x3

I know I'm not a huge artist or anything, but the fact that nobody is interested in a free commission from me is kind of discouraging and telling me that I should just stop trying art. I've been practicing for a few years now, I've gotten better, but last time I got a commission or anything was a very long time ago and it was just a request. I like to be able to draw things for myself, but when I have no incentive to keep trying besides that, it really sucks, especially when you want to do other things or draw for other people but nobody is interested.
I think if I don't get a single entry in this raffle I'm just gonna quit art. I'm still gonna make characters and stuff for myself, but their descriptions are just gonna have to be left in text.

On that note, I'm leaving f-list. I'm really tired of it. I never get any role play on there anymore and 99% of that site is just fetishism. I've met some nice people on there, but we had to go waaaaaay out of our ways to find each other. The user count is even increasing on that site, and yet I've never felt so alone over there. I like more story focused role play, so that might also be a reason. Plus I'm just tired of all the conservative house wives and well hung toddlers running around on there as well as hyper-boobed intersex women describing every ripple along their body as they bend over and go "oops" trying to get pseudo-raped. Yes I have seen all of these things over there first hand. I don't really know a place to go to though. So Furry seems to have become rude/empty according to a couple of my friends, and I don't really know of any role playing websites or forums. It's really depressing to have all sorts of stuff going on at once like this.

I just feel ready to give up on life, but I can't because I feel like I'd be obligated to be a ghost at this point from all the stress. My parents won't let me get on SSI which I NEED in order to actually do anything with myself and then all this stuff going on and just... ugh. I always have too much on my mind and I can't help it. My life just feels like hell right now.

You heard that right! I'm giving away a free commission! This will be higher quality than my request commission type. (Pixel art and higher)

ENDS OCT. 24 AT 12 PM CENTRAL TIME

Rules!
1. Anything you like as long as it's not on my "will not draw" list located on my profile.
2. Any type of commission, from pixel art to reference sheets.
3. You must comment on this journal to claim a spot!
4. Winner will be chosen by a random list picker.
5. 1 slot per person.
6. Boosting this give-away will grant you 1 extra slot!
7. I can't do traditional art as I don't have the resources.
8. You do not have to be a watcher, but being one will grant you 1 extra slot!
9. Please comment if you do boost and/or watch!
10. Please be aware of my standard commission rules and my copyright policy located on my profile as well as in my commissions tab.
11. Multiple characters in one image are allowed!
12. Any rating is allowed, from PG to Adult!
13. I can live stream the winner's commission on Picarto.TV in order work with the winner and get the best results. Skype or Telegram are okay, too!
14. If you try to take advantage of me or act like an ass hat, I have every right to redraw for a new winner.

I'm having trouble deciding on colors for my first dutch angel dragon character.
Here's what I've got so far: https://www.dropbox.com/s/tg9yhl5e5.....acter.png?dl=0
The second one I'm going to make won't be so hard. I'm really having trouble with this one because I just don't know what I want to do with the colors at all. I don't even really know what I want to do about markings.

Someone help or give me ideas?

I can't watch youtube videos at 240p without them lagging/buffering like shit and that's the lowest quality setting youtube has.

I just managed to log into my ancient FanFiction.net account on the first try.
I haven't logged into it since I was 12.
What is this?

NOOT NOOT
Okay in all seriousness, I do have a bit of news. I have paypal now! Yayyyyy! This means I can take commissions from anyone in the world instead of being limited by google wallet and second life.
Now something else is I have an idea for adoptables finally! I'll upload a set of premade ones for a fixed price, then maybe a couple of auctions for ones where the winner chooses the colors.
I'll probably make a reference for the creature first. I mean, I already have a character of this species I'm thinking of but he needs an update, I think.

Why?

If you ever want to watch me live streaming some games, then I have good news for you.
I recently got back into doing live stream stuff on Twitch. You can find me right here: http://www.twitch.tv/codywillow/profile
I've already done 3 streams, so yeah. Art streams will still be on Furstream since Twitch is just for games.

I didn't even realize this until today. I'm talking about the FA forums of course. I just kind of find it crazy. I saw someone make a comment about it saying that furries are just a bunch of drama queens and stuff, but honestly I don't think furries are over dramatic, though there are some pretty dramatic people in the community, but that's part of life, really. I mean, you can't really go anywhere without drama, even a grocery store. There was drama at the store I worked at nearly a year ago, so yeah.
I'd better not mention any names, though, or I'll get banned just because. :o

I kind of want to make adoptables or make a character or two to sell, but I'm not sure what sort of species or if I should even do it at all. I really really want the money just to get Super Mario Maker XD but I'm just not feeling completely up for drawing big projects at the moment. Maybe even a YCH auction? I don't know.

I know I'm very rough with my drawings right now, but I kind of want to do some quick stuff while I practice drawing every day. So what do you guys want to see me draw?

I am so rusty at drawing right now that it hurts.

Life update, by the way, I'm off of extra medicine I was taking to help my appetite so now my body is transitioning back to its normal self. I still have other meds I take but they were already there.

I'm figuring stuff out about my fursona, though, and it's just ... I want to draw but my skills have disappeared. Probably because I wasn't practicing every day like you're supposed to. So I'm making it my goal now to draw every single day, even if it's something super quick.

I'm so rusty though. I can't do anything but a rough doodle. XD


When I'm back to drawing normally again, though, I might have 3 reference sheets that'll be posted. My fursona and two new characters, maybe. There'll be at least one new character.

I mean with the way we go about our lives and such. Like food. Why do people feel the need to scare the shit out of us to make us eat certain ways?
Or make us afraid of stuff that isn't even bad?
I'm just so confused and sometimes I don't know who to believe anymore.

Okay. So the psychiatrist notes came in the mail today and my parents are already saying that they might want to put me through more therapy and counselling.

No. I don't want to do that. I do not want people trying to integrate me into society. Fuck you. Just because I'm disabled and different doesn't give you the right to try to force me to be like everyone else. I like being different. I'll only go as far as taking medicine to treat my ADHD and anxiety and depression. I've already tried to work. I've already tried to go to college. I'm not going back. Period. End of discussion. Don't fucking pull out that stupid fucking parent card on me again. I don't give a single flying fuck if I'm weird. Being weird is a good thing. Now please just can I get some government assistance so I can move out and get on with my life without you parents dragging me down and preventing me from moving forward? Being stuck in this stupid house is going to prevent me from being able to pay for any insurance that might be legally required of me to have, if any, 5 years from now. I want to get out of here so I can live my own life and not yours.

I am really stressed out right now because of them. >.< I really do not want them trying to force me into society again.

I want Super Mario Maker so bad but I have no money ;-;
I really wish Nintendo would make stuff like this for the computer, too. Their Mario maker is like so much better looking and easier to use than the fan made ones.

You are now reading this in my voice! :V

Futurama reference aside, I'm finally making some fucking progress on my fursona and my identity.
I only have one word to describe my base:

MUSTELID

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17377659/

GO THERE FOR INFO ^^^^^^^^^

_{sorry for screaming x3;}