I've been meaning to make this journal for awhile, just as I've been meaning to do another big batch of uploads as I've commissioned a number of pieces over the summer plus I've found some older ones that had never been uploaded.
2025 has largely still been a holding pattern but it hasn't had any big negative issues and while I'm not getting to do as fun a trip as I did last year at this time I am looking at MFF in December again with Nikorokumitsero/Aleu.

Work has been work but I can't complain much of it. I received a promotion back in July after recommendation from both my manager and one of the Ops/Assistant Store managers. I'm not sure it actually has resulted in an increase in my pay since my last raise last summer but it has given me more hours (even if that means every other week I now only get one night off and during my training it was every week I was working 6 nights) and I've scored a lot of brownie points . We had a series of coworkers in the department be out for injuries and other long term issues which did make July and August rather rough and was riding us a bit ragged. Some temporary assistance from other departments some days helped out but we should have every one back fully next week, to at least put us in a decent position for when the holidays rush starts up in November (ideally we'd have another worker to give us a backup). All the hours has resulted in me tweaking my sleep schedule so that it's now rare for me to be able to sleep before noon and because of that, finding it easier to get errands done after work compared to after sleep, and as a way to save money pretty much the only time I eat out any more is for breakfast or as brunch (I actually started it after one night off when the internet crapped out and wasn't going to be fixed until a technician came out the next day. It's pretty limited what can be done overnight without internet or cable access so one of the rare 24 hour food places here in OKC became "breakfast with a book").

I admit I spoiled myself a little bit with commissions between all the hours at work plus from my birthday and have gotten some really good pieces as well as some gift art from others that one of these days/nights I need to sit down and upload (or spend a few mornings uploading them). I've also surprisingly over the summer bought some "adopts" to adapt the ideas into alternate forms or variations as well as to make some into DnD characters should I ever get back into a gaming group. Since officially dropping out of my local gaming group last summer after feeling ignored for most of 2023 and the first half of 2024, aside from once in awhile running into one of the DMs at where I work, I've had almost no contact from any one else in the group even online. As I've told that DM my work schedule really doesn't make it easy for me to make any games even if I did try to get back in- heck friends online have trouble getting ahold of me outside of my nights off and even then that time is one of the few times I have to do housework or much of the stuff on my day-to-day list.

As for the state of most things going on in the world I don't think most people are happy with how this year has been going so far and certainly when it comes to politics it's been very divisive but while I disagree with a lot of policies I don't find it quite the dumpster fire (at least yet) some make it out to be. So I've been lucky in that regard in that I have a stable job that I like and pays decently, my health has been decent, my finances are in fair state (even if I still haven't replaced my 2003 truck, partially because of difficulty in finding a replacement I like and the time to search), my housing situation is stable even if it might be more of convenience for me and the housemate I've subleased from since 2019 than because we get along well, I'm in a long term relationship with someone that can consistently bring a smile to my face and that I enjoy having in my arms no matter how rough life can be for either of us, and I know I have friends that care about me. Most likely the rest of this year will just be a holding pattern with me looking to leave OKC for something better come spring (as trying to move during winter sucks).

Not for the first time I look at my Submission Notifications and wonder "wait, who is this?" with some of the names. Sure earlier this year FA changed it so that what name shows up can be changed aside from the person's main page and that's lead to a more than a few instances of "I don't recognize that name" but I mean more in the sense that I go and look at the person's page and gallery and wonder why they're on my watch list. Their art may be perfectly fine but it doesn't grab me in a way that says "I like seeing their art" or "I'd love to get a commission from them some day" (I bookmark a lot of artists who's art I may find appealing but I'm not sure yet whether to stick them on watch).

I fully admit a few times a year I go through my watch list and remove those who's submissions don't interest me any more or have me wonder why I was watching them in the first place, those that purged their gallery so I have no idea what I found appealing, and occasionally those that haven't posted to FA in a number of years either because they've left FA or stopped posting for some reason. I do this to help keep my notification lists from getting out of control since I don't usually delete notifications from friends, artist friends, or regarding art I like and may want to revisit in the future for ideas or designs so there is a huge number of them at any time. There are times when it can be fun seeing up to 100 new Notifications in a day but less so when I realize that just going through the thumbnails and Journal subjects only a small % of do I actually click on to see fully or read, with a slightly higher number being saved to just check out later before deciding whether to keep the notification or delete it.

But getting back to the topic at hand does anyone else have times when they see their notifications and wonder "who is this person and why am I watching them?". Maybe I'm showing some of my age since I first registered on FA back in 2006 but these tend to be more recent people (within the past few years). Also this could be fun seeing how many people actually read Journals because I'm sure for most people it's a small minority unless the Journal Subject is about a friend, talking about commissions, or a raffle or something about free art (I already admitted I usually only read the Journals for friends and artist friends).

So I originally wanted to make this journal before 2025 but that didn't end up happening, mostly due to busyness of work and since it seems like my nights off are about the only time I feel I have the time to get anything substantial done. Then once we neared the new year it's very common for people to make journals about the new year or holidays, and though in general most watchers don't read journals, I didn't want to risk this getting buried for my friends.

2024 was a pretty decent year for me even if I didn't have much major happen during it, Work is still fine and I like my job and coworkers still. I received a $1/hr raise during the summer, which technically marks it as the largest raise I've had the past decade (my boss had put me in for it at the end of last year but only found it had never gone through when talk came up during the summer of raises that were being put in then- so it might just be another indication of the less than great HR and employee benefits my company offers). My mom and oldest cousin came up for a visit in May and it was fun getting to do a lot of the touristy stuff that's either not as fun to do solo or where I couldn't really justify the cost at the time (or just the overall risk during the height of the Pandemic), and I got to take a short vacation in September for an overdue trip that was really needed. The only other significant event of 2024 for me was officially dropping out of my in-person game group over the summer after having had very limited contact by them through all of 2023 and the first half of 2024. One of the DMs contacted me afterwards and we've run into each other a couple times out of luck at the store where I work but he's been the only one in the group that tried to contact me after I left (so it's now been over 2 years since I've seen most of them even though everyone is local).

I've come to realize that one of the reasons I soured with my group was I was unhappy with my situation here in OKC even before I left to go down and take care of my mom for a month in 2022 after her second foot surgery, and when I came back afterwards I more than had the finances to afford to be able to move to somewhere better without touching my truck fund but I'd thought the unhappiness was just from me being burntout at Sam's Club due to the Pandemic. As I noted in a few of the journals in 2022 and 2023 poor coincidence on timing just meant I already had plans weeks when there was a game and there would either be no game or it would be a ttrpg system I had no interest in when I was available so 2023 started with me seeing how long it would be before someone in the game's telegram chat asked me something or sent me an IM. The April 2023 accident and deep depression I experienced for weeks afterwards didn't encourage me to reach out to any of them (especially with not having a vehicle to drive for some 4 weeks so it wasn't even worth it to do any job hunting during that time and ultimately not working for a full year was rough on my physical, mental, and financial health) so by the time 2024 started it was just a matter of me deciding when to leave my game group and whether to say anything before I left. Procrastination can be a bitch but I ended up just dropping out without a word in June. I have some regret since one of the group members had been among the first furries or therians I had met online all the way back in 1999 but he and I living together for a year and half took a toll on our friendship and time during the Pandemic didn't really give us a chance to patch and repair things.

It's of course never too late to try to repair things but it also doesn't change the fact that 2024 was mostly just a holding pattern for me. I've also been finding that with working nights it's really tough for me to get anything done during the day since 9/10am to 5/6pm is often my sleep time. I'd like to get my own place again though with how the cost of living skyrocketed the past few years that has made it more expensive than just trying to make it work for the remaining time before I do leave Oklahoma. Also with any place that you're doing more than subleasing like I've been doing here the past 6 years there would be a mandatory lease and I'd like to leave Oklahoma by June or July of this year (we also had a new roommate last year for about 6 months and it was often quite stressful, in part due to regular fighting between his dog and my other housemate's dogs). I'm hoping tax season will be kind to me this year (I'm pretty sure I have too much withholding being done on my pay but last time I tried to have my tax withholding reduced so I don't have a large refund during tax season I ended up owing) and give me a little more wiggle room since as it is now I could either afford to move and resettle or replace my 2003 truck finally (or get it fully repaired with the intent to hold onto it for another year or three).

I want to do a furcon this year at a minimum, and since I ultimately had to skip making 2024's MFF I'd really like to make it or AC's 2025. I know there are getting to be a number of local cons, though I tend to find out when they are only a few days before they happen and the panels and events that interest me tend to be so limited that I can't justify the cost to myself of even a one day pass. I haven't been as negative as many people here about what 2025 is bringing to American politics but I know a lot of people are uneasy because of the 2024 election results and the uncertainty of what to expect with unpredictable leadership.

So I've been meaning to update this for a few weeks now. I've been working overnight for a couple months now and I've really been enjoying the challenge of the department even if I'm back solidly working grocery again. The job reminds me a lot of when I worked at Meijer in Ohio back in 2017 and 2018. The only difficult part of working overnights is having to sleep days and since I don't want to be sleeping all through the afternoon it means days we get off late or days when the dogs here don't want to let me sleep it means I sometimes only get 4 or 5 hours of sleep. Sadly, with being in grocery again it means the holidays are going to be busy and somewhat frantic like they have always been in the past with that field of work which is part of why I really enjoyed them last year when it wasn't a factor. It also means I won't have an opportunity to go to a con until next year, though I'd like to make AnthroCon again if possible. I might try for AnthroExpo in February if there are enough panels and events that interest me but it would require taking time off to spend more than a few hours at since I work all of those nights. Too often I don't find out about the local cons until the week of and it can be difficult to make plans for them so last minute.

Aside from sometimes not getting enough sleep I feel my mental health has improved the past couple of months due to a combination of structure again in my life and just the enjoyable challenge of my job. I can look at the remaining damage to the passenger side of my truck and not get depressed anymore. I was initially going to look for a replacement vehicle late this month or next but between my truck fund not having recovered yet to where I want it to be again and having to get two new tires last month due to the alignment going out and excessively wearing those tires down in 700 miles I'm going to aim to replace it now early next year, when I can add anything from a tax refund to the replacement (I'll still be a bit nervous in the meanwhile as Oklahoma has issues with ice and snow in January and February, even if these new tires offer really good handling).

Otherwise, all that has been going on is one of the housemates moved out about 6 weeks ago and the other housemate went and adopted a big great dane that's a rescue from a puppy mill. She is super adorable though she can be quite timid and she has some really odd quirks. We aren't sure if they're caused due to genetics or something she learned/picked up but we're hoping they become less of an issue over time. On the game group front other than some brief contact about 3 months ago it's been crickets, though within the next week or two an event in October the group normally takes part in should occur and based on what does or doesn't happen with it I'll make my decision on whether to formally drop out and then it just comes down to whether to say anything to them or just drop from the group chat on Telegram and see if anyone contacts me about it, unlike when no one did after I dropped from the Discord groups back around June. The unfortunate thing in this all is that my set schedule has me working weekends so it would be difficult to join in any game.

All of this going on is part of why I'm considering leaving the OKC area next summer, though I don't yet have a plan on where to go. Maybe to Tulsa as I have a cousin that moved there a few years ago, and I know my mom and several family friends would love if I went back to Houston (the traffic and the weather are my two biggest complaints about that idea). I have time to decide, though I'm sure it will be next summer before I know it with how quickly 2023 has gone.

I'd been thinking of making this journal for the past month but I just kept putting it off. It's certainly not been a terrible year for me so far and I've done better than many others but there are a number of things on my mind.

I'd really love to do some kind of long vacation or a furcon this year but I have no idea when I'll be able to do that or even if I'll be able to. Most of the people I talk to pretty regularly know that I was in a car accident last month- was hit on the passenger side while making a left turn during rush hour. I just had some minor bruises and some soreness in my ribs from where the seatbelt caught me when my truck was hit by the SUV. I declined needing any medical attention from the responding police officers and they didn't give out any tickets even though I was probably at fault as it's an area of road they respond to pretty regularly. Both vehicles needed tows and it took a couple weeks for the garage I went to to find the parts for my 20 year old truck to fix the damaged steering and suspension on the passenger side. I carry liability on my car insurance so I was covered there but I didn't have collision as on a 20 year old vehicle either the damage is never going to be enough to cover the high deductible or it's going to be totaled and I happened to fall in the middle. It drives better after the work I've had put into it though the passenger door is still pretty smashed up and needs attention. The past few years I'd been saving up because I knew at some point I'd need to replace my truck due to its age so my finances are okay even if I've had to tap a bit into that fund. I'm anticipating replacing my vehicle for something newer later this year once my finances recover. An interesting hitch that's been discovered in all this is when I was trying to get a replacement title since I can't seem to find mine it was discovered that the State of Ohio never relinquished/transferred it after I moved to the state where I am now and registered my truck in 2018 so I'm going through that fun of getting them to transfer the title since I do need a copy of the title for whatever I do with the truck (I have no idea how neither state discovered this issue before now).

A week before the accident I'd come back from driving out of state for a funeral for one of the last aunts in the family (my great grandfather remarried during the Great Depression so the family has two sides to it but both sides always remained close). The last uncle passed away late in 2020 but due to Covid restrictions only immediate family was allowed to attend (also lost 2 cousins and an aunt that year). My mom was going to drive up for it also but two days before the funeral she fell and fully ruptured a ligament in her thumb that ultimately required surgery to fix (I semi-joked of whether this would be the 3rd year in a row I'd have to come take care of her while she recovers from a surgery). My mom was very upset to miss the funeral. It was nice getting to see a lot of the remaining family though it's sad that I hadn't seen any of them since my grandfather's funeral in 2015 and some I hadn't seen since the mid-late 2000's before I moved to Washington State. It is a bit sad how the years are starting to fly by- I still can't believe it's been 6 years since I left Washington State.

In my last journal I had mentioned on wanting to change jobs to something I could make into a career. Unfortunately, that has not happened and due to a lot of animal fields having lower pay or many that I know I qualify for relying on a lot of part-time or volunteering it's going to have to wait at least another year. Besides the issues with the truck and what it will do to my finances when I get something newer, I am also needing to keep my finances in good shape as my housemates are in the process of separating. I sublease my room from them and while it looks like they aren't going to sell the house after the divorce, at least without first giving me significant notice (trust me we've all sat down and talked about this), I need to make sure that my finances will let me be able to afford an apartment if it comes to that. Things have also continued to slowly fray with my local fur and gaming group so I don't feel comfortable asking for help there in an emergency (I'm 99% certain none of them watch me here on FA, or at least certainly they've never commented anywhere about anything I've said in the past). I've been doing a lot better with my finances the past few months than most people realize so while I have had to cut way back on certain things or only able to help out others in an emergency I know I'm in better shape than a lot of people.

I'm not asking for help in this journal and I'm not trying to alarm anyone either- in an absolute worst case scenario I already have my mom and a family friend both give standing offers on places for me to stay if I need it. That's not to say I don't appreciate the offers as I do and I enjoy seeing them when I go down to Houston but the weather and the traffic are two things I've always really disliked dealing while I was growing up and when I've gone back for a visit. I do want to apologize to all my friends I talk to online as I know this year, particularly the past 6 weeks since the accident, I've had periods of depression and sleep issues that sometimes keep me awake until nearly dawn. Discord in particular has been an area I've been pretty inactive on, though I do really enjoy talking with friends on the irregular times I have been on it. Telegram is probably still the best place to get ahold of me.

For any one going to MFF this week I will be there this year with Nikorokumitsero/Aleu.


It's my first con to go to since 2018 (I had one planned for 2020 until everything closed down) and I previously went to MFF in 2014. There looks to be a nice assortment of panels this year though I'm still leaving the possibility open to bailing on the con for part of a day to check out Chicago similar to when I went to FC in 2016 and took a bus out to Happy Hollow Park & Zoo in San Jose for part of a day because the panel offerings were a little lacking for me that day. Beyond MFF I've been doing a lot of dog sitting this month due to my housemates being out of town a lot visiting family and friends, which meant that the holidays have been low key for me so far, but considering a lot of people I know have gotten sick in November it's worked out on not being able to get together with family or friends myself for Thanksgiving.


Unfortunately, I wasn't keeping up with the furry community in the OKC metro area even before 2020 but does any one know of any game groups (board games or ttrpg) in the area accepting new players? We had 3 more players join my group and that often means we have 7 or 8 players if everyone is playing, which is a lot (6 players during the long campaign we were doing meant a lot of downtime sometimes, especially in a group that is heavier on rp) so I've skipped several games for that reason. Due to that and a few other instances I've actually only gotten together with my group twice the past 3 months and one of the times was for a birthday dinner. They're planning to start a new campaign soon (I think 5e but that tells you how little I know of it beyond session zero probably being this weekend) and while I'm sure I could get in even with it being such a large group already I'm not sure I have much enthusiasm for it.


I'm going to be starting to job hunt for something new for next year that can be something I want to make a career out of and not suck most of the joy out of the end of the year holidays like working in grocery or retail does, and I think I'm not going to put in for attempting to get Sunday afternoons and evenings off (if not Sunday itself off) since I'm only loosely attached to my game group these past few months. Unless something really awesome comes up I'm planning to still look within the OKC area, though I'd also still like to get my own place some time next year.


As for anything else I'm really hoping to do a big upload here before MFF as I commissioned a number of pictures over the summer and here during the autumn, as well as finding a few older pieces from the beginning of the year and last year that I never uploaded.

Since my last journal I've played Call of Cthulhu and I'm currently playing a werewolf in a World of Darkness mini campaign. The story for the Call of Cthulhu game was interesting but I don't feel I made a character that had anything really to do in it or that meshed well with the rest of the party, so I didn't have any complaints when I missed the following two sessions due to work. Other than some sanity checks I'm still not sure I actually did anything in the 4th (the final) session and if I'm being honest it was only out of wanting to socialize that I didn't skip it.

We're only one session into the WoD game but I'm not sure W:TA works in a 2020's setting- 90's and early 2000's yeah, and I can see how Vampire and Mage can work in a modern setting, but I just don't see the world looking like it does today with werewolves/Garou. I'll be the first to admit I'm not that good when it comes to roleplay heavy games, and while I've read up on the lore to familiarize better with the world and the Garou there is still a lot I haven't read over. I'll still give it a shot but my enthusiasm has waned a bit, which has resulted in some of the characterization and backstory I have planned for my character to just not happen.

After this mini campaign I'm not sure what I'll be involved in as in early August my mom is going to have surgery for bonespurs on her other foot (it's not near as bad as the foot she had surgery on last summer but it could very well progress to that stage if she lets it go for a few more years) so I'll be down in the Houston area for 3-4 weeks taking care of her again. This time I'm not going to be going on Leave from work as I'm planning to quit at the end of July. I was originally thinking of quitting last summer but delayed it due to my mom's first surgery and then concern over what the job situation would be like once benefits ended for so many people last autumn. I was actually going to quit at the end of this month so I could go to AnthroCon this year (because there is no way to take off time during a holiday weekend otherwise) with my mom having her surgery mid-July but it was delayed after the other baker where I work transferred to another store in a different state last month.

Afterwards I want to take an actual vacation in September (something I haven't had since AC 2018) and ideally go see everyone back in the Pacific Northwest since it's been nearly 5 years since I saw everyone there. I've been saving up the past 2 years, in part as I was originally planning to get something newer vehicle-wise than my 19 year old truck before it starts to have costly repairs, but also because I know I would like to move out and change my housing situation. My housemates are fine and they've been letting me sublease cheaply since 2019 but this really was never suppose to be a permanent solution. Where I'm going to go after that I don't know yet, though I have some options. I've had housemates/roommates since 2010, and for the past 5 years the various housemates have been neutral at best in how we've gotten along, so I'm considering just getting a place of my own for awhile even if that is far more expensive than having a housemate/roommate to help share costs.

On the spiritual side that's one of the areas I've been unhappy about as I feel like I'm just treading water and drifting away from what I want to do. I've gotten a bit closer to my wolf and unicorn but in other ways I feel like I'm further from them than I was back in the mid 2010's. I don't see much of my spirit animal ostrich, though I'm relatively confident he's still around, and for a few years now I've had trouble getting in touch with the Unibeeplant though I do have some ideas in the tweaks to his redesign. This journal is running longer than I've meant it to and as I have to be up for work in 6 hours I'm going to call it here but I'll keep things updated for those that actually read these journals and are interested.

The local group I play D&D 5E with is nearing the end of a campaign I (and another friend, though he had to drop out after a few months due to him becoming a trucker) joined up with back in 2019 at level 10 and we've now been level 20 for about 5 sessions as of this point. The campaign was split into 4 Chapters and I joined at the beginning to Chapter 3 so the rest of the group started this campaign back probably in 2017 or maybe even earlier at level 1. We took a good 6-9 months off in 2020 and 2021 upon finishing Chapter 3 as we all agreed trying to play it online over Discord was proving to be sub-optimal. Most sessions tend to be heavier on the roleplaying side of things with combat not being a guarantee every session and even with combat it's been very rare for us to require a Short Rest, in part as the DM has had some trouble making challenging high level fights due to how overwhelming the party characters are. Now part of the reason these 2 chapters have taken about 80 sessions is because we're not always very efficient as players, with important battles in particular sometimes stretching out several hours for a 8-10 round battle, but with a 5-6 player group it can also be tough for everyone to stay focused on the game when the DM is focusing on one or two players as part of the narrative for right then.


I've considered getting art of my Tabaxi Cleric at times, and I even know the artist I'd ask, but I keep waffling on it as I keep going back and forth between liking my cleric and being indifferent towards him. I designed him with the idea of a more paladin-style (sword and board) build but I've rarely gotten to play him like that. Having the Life Domain (which worked best with the backstory and deity I and the DM worked out) also means he's more specialized towards support than actual tanking, to my chagrin and I've gone and retconned some feats and equipment that I thought would be useful but then never had seen any use even a dozen or two dozen sessions later. The worst was when we were playing over Discord in 2020 and I tended to just put him on support/healbot with my main focus on something other than the game because there was rarely anything useful I could do in combat between the tank being OP and able to soak up a massive amount of damage and the other three members able to dish out a massive amount of damage between them.


The story isn't anything truly unique what with being a form of cycles of rebirth with the party trying to break that cycle with the help of the gods but it's been told in an entertaining way (even if I feel there has been a bit of branching quest fatigue) and each player has had their own personal quest to deal with in addition to the main quest and all the sidequests that the DM has liked seeing if we'd take the bait on. Certainly the group has a greater focus on roleplaying, which is not a strong point for me, but there have been times when it's been fun to do and I've forced myself to stay In Character (especially once we started meeting up again in person last year) because he has been fun to play even if I've been frustrated at playing him some times.


All in all it's been fun. If nothing else it's been pleasant meeting up and hanging out with local friends for part of a day. I haven't decided what to do about my character once the campaign is fully over (we might do a one-shot in the future that is a dangling side quest for a dragon npc we've interacted with several times). I suppose ultimately it's a bit of "I've had fun with him but I'm also ready for the campaign to draw to an end to retire him, in part as finishing the campaign is one of the goals to be completed before I quit my job and move in the second half of this year.


To those that have stuck with this rambling journal for so long my question is- what other tabletop rpgs (ttrpgs) are out there? I've played Pathfinder and Pathfinder 2.0 with my group, I couldn't get into World of Darkness when my group was trying it out last year for the possibility of a future campaign but I'm willing to give W:TA another try but the superhero one they tried out also that was heavily roleplaying I didn't like, nor was I fond of Starfinder when we tried it. I love Triten and that you could build a very unique character but that rpg system is essentially dead (I have commissioned a picture of my buccaneer seagull mage and my deer hunter/mercenary that specialized in magical debuffs but I'm still waiting on them). Same with Gamma World when I played it with my group in Washington State. Shadowrun I've tried but couldn't get into and while I haven't played Call of Cthulhu I know of its reputation and from having played the Arkham Horror and Eldritch Horror games. I know there are a lot more out there and even if I looked up ttrpgs within the furry fandom I'm sure I'd find some but trying to find one that is decently known and can be found is a bit more challenging.

So this doesn't affect the vast majority of people I talk to on here (and many of the ones it does I've already told in IMs) but starting late this week I am taking a 3 week Leave of Absence from work to help care for my mom down near Houston, Tx as she's having surgery on her foot and will be unable to walk for awhile afterwards. Normal times I go down there for a short visit I'm usually not online at all during that time but due to how long I'll be down there this time I'm going to be driving down and taking my computer so I have semi-regular access. I'm not sure how often that means I'll be on, particularly on things like Telegram and Discord but also here on FA, but I will try to be on when I can. Friends that have my phone number are also welcome to text me or even call.

I have a few art pieces being worked on currently, and I'm anticipating uploading a few early birthday pics before I leave on Thursday as I have a common tendency to get backed up on uploads, but I want to apologize in advance to anyone attempting to get in touch with me between when I leave and the beginning of September. I'm not quite sure what to expect during this time away though I know the first week after the surgery will be the period when she's most unable to walk.

I had hoped to take a few days off for a vacation in October to go somewhere before the holiday season arrived for my work and blacked out any time off before January though that's not going to happen now what with me taking 3 weeks off for FLMA. Certainly next year I really would like to be able to go to another furcon since the last one I made was AC 2018, even with me anticipating moving some time next spring or summer.

To those wondering where I've been the past week and half the winter storm last week that brought freezing rain to the area on Monday the 26th and an ice storm Tuesday morning the 27th knocked out power to most of the OKC area and it was finally restored to my neighborhood today. Ice storms are not uncommon in the area but they usually happen in December or January when we're actually getting winter weather here and not late October when the trees have barely begun to change color on their leaves. I was at work during the ice storm so it was relatively safe by the time I got off work, though the rest of the day Tuesday and overnight you could hear with regularity branches snapping off in the neighborhood and then plummeting to the ground. People very quickly moved their vehicles out of driveways to safe areas of streets because of how severe the damage to trees was, at times temporarily blocking streets. It warmed up quickly and we have a gas water heater, a gas fireplace, and a gas grill so living without power for a week wasn't as bad as it could have been. One of the few perks of no power was it meant I didn't have to get flooded with political ads in the runup to the election three days ago (which I did vote in-person). Halloween was kind of knocked on its rump this year from the weather/cleanup and Covid really impacting it which was sad as it's one of my favorite holidays.

The other part of the news during this is one of my housemates tested positive for Covid about 2 weeks ago and the other tested positive a week ago. I went to get tested that Monday during the freezing rain and I tested negative. I've remained symptom free and I and my housemates have been taking precautions here in the house to limit the chance of me catching it. Because I've remained symptom free and because my bakery job means for the most part I can social distance without much issue I've worked 7 of the last 10 days so that has let me spend time outside of the house and keep me less bored than my housemates, both of whom have been mostly working from home this year.

I hope to get a little caught up on art uploads from the past month and I want to thank Nikorokumitsero/Aleu for relaying my power news to a few artists that were working on pieces for me when the outage occurred and LaurenRivers because I've really been enjoying reading her book the past week and I do heavily recommend it.

I've mentioned this to the handful of people I keep in touch with primarily via Facebook but there are some friends that are here that should know also. About 2 weeks ago my phone died and I had to get a new one. Nothing was able to be transferred over so I lost all of my contacts. The number is still the same so any friends that would like for me to have their number again can either text/call or send me a private note here, Telegram, Discord, or Steam.

Sooooo I actually meant to do this journal last month on Christmas since it was a day off from work for me that I didn't have anything planned for.... and then I ended up sleeping until nearly noon out of exhaustion from how crazy busy work had been the prior few days leading up to the Christmas holiday. And then before I knew it it was New Years and I decided I didn't want to put a journal out at the same time as everyone else. Of course then it could end up where I forget and procrastinate and then next thing I know it's March.

2019 was decent as a whole for me. Long story short I put in notice and quit where I was working back in March because I had soured on the job. The alternative was to wait until I was fired or I just outright quit. I wasn't in great financial shape at the time due to cutbacks in hours there that started almost 2 months prior and because of that I ended up having to scrap plans for any furcons last year (It was the first year I hadn't made a con since before my first con in 2011). My finances were in very poor state by the time I found a job in a bakery at a Sam's Club in town in June. I've been there since and I enjoy the challenge of baking and packaging. The money has been good and I'm hoping to have quite a bit in reserve by the later part of this year; of which I might shop around for a partial fursuit.

I started volunteering at the Oklahoma City Zoo back in April and I try to make it a couple times a month even if the bakery job keeps me pretty busy. I've been wanting to get back closer to an animal field for a job but I still haven't decided what. I joined a DnD game group with some local furries back late last year and have been involved in a campaign that started back near the beginning of 2019. We don't play every week (they have an alternate campaign going on as well that I'm not part of) and the story is interesting enough, though interest in my lvl 15 Tabaxi Cleric has been flagging for some time. I blame because Triten (which we do now and then) allows for much more interesting characters and due to my Tabaxi having to dual-cover support and back-up tank in a 6 member party that's heavy on DPS with one OP meatshield). It's fun though I miss the weekly game nights we had in Washington State.

I don't, currently, have any great plans for 2020. I'm planning for a trip down to see family and friends in Texas next month and I'm hoping to make MCFC and/or AC this year. I don't know if I'll still be at the bakery by the end of the year just because I'd like to do something more with my life than what I've done so far here in OKC so while I'm open to leaving OKC I don't have anywhere to go and I'd rather not end up like I did in 2017- I don't regret Ohio but I wouldn't make the same decision if I could make it again (I also haven't heard from my former housemates in Ohio since a rather ugly online fight near the end of 2018). So 2020 is probably going to mostly be a hold over, partially because I do need to save up to try and get a newer vehicle in 2021 or 2022 at the latest as my 2003 truck is starting to show its age even if I've done very well with only recently passing 120k miles. I'd also like to take another good vacation within the next few years similar to my two week trip in 2017 back to Seattle and then up to Alaska.

So I've rambled for a bit now and this will probably be my only post until I do my next catchup on uploads as I've gotten a few more the past two months and I have an artist working on a redo of my unibeeplant in an older style that I've found more appealing lately. I hope everyone's well that reads this and I wish them a nice 2020.

I know it's a bit early to be thinking of 2019 when we still have almost 2 months of 2018 left, though with how quickly 2018 has gone I might as well put this up now as otherwise it will be January 2019 before I think to do so.

Career- I enjoy the local grocery chain I started working at a month ago and most of the days have gone well but I certainly wouldn't mind next year getting into something that's going to give me a direction for a career, or setting more ground work with volunteering. While I was down in Houston for a wedding I saw The Greatest Showman and Secretariat and it was a bit of nostalgia. Most people don't know that I took a semester off of college to work with race horses and got to travel to five different tracks around the country. I learned quite a lot from the experience and it's neat that a college assignment in an equine class was what got me interested in it. In 2007 after things didn't work out with the zoo I had moved back to Texas to work at I actually did apply to Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus as an animal trainer. I actually really enjoyed the experiences and would like to get back into animal husbandry/training. The kicker is... BUT... these are professions where that is your life 24/7 and you go where you need to go. It's a lot harder to do that now as I'm not the young male I was back 10-15 years ago. It's nice to have roots and a place to call home. What I do on this very likely will impact what I do regarding plans here in Oklahoma.

Travel- Besides MCFC in April I want to do some kind of big trip next year. Maybe go west back out to the Rockies or the Pacific Northwest. Heck a trip up into the Canadian Rockies could be a really neat thing to do. I really enjoyed the trip I got to take last summer with my mom and friends up along the Alaskan coast so a trip further into the interior could be an idea also.

Spiritual- I have worked harder to be more in tune with my spirit animals since July, though I admit the new job has worn me out a bit to focus properly. My housemates are quite spiritual (in a different way from my most recent housemates), though my unicorn doesn't mash very well with their wolves due to differences in how we view things. The biggest surprise of the past few months has been my wolf/werewolf being more forward and active; something that he hadn't really done much of the previous year in Ohio. I'd like to get new art of my wolf once I get a little more accurate on his visual form. The shark has been a bit more of a mystery this autumn though I did recently get a neat picture from Kazenishi of it and the ostrich that I need to upload at some point. While it's not so much spiritual I've also been wanting to do some redesign of the unibeeplant. I have some good ideas and just need to sit down with Faeseiren with all my notes.

Fate has been a bit weird this year yet I've taken advantage of it to go to AnthroCon since it's only about a 4-5 hour drive from where I live in Ohio and it could potentially be my only opportunity to go to it and see all the awesome people I know on here, some of whom I've commissioned over the years! I initially wasn't sure I'd still make it after my housemates stunned me with the news three weeks ago that he had been offered and accepted a new job in North Carolina even though the hotel and registration were paid for months ago. I can't really afford to rent the place by myself for the last 6 weeks of the lease and almost all of the furniture and appliances are theirs which has left me scrambling a bit since I'm not leaving until the second half of the month and my housemates are very likely to move while I'm at AC.

I decided not to follow them and instead move back closer to family in Texas and I'm going to stay with a wolf friend/packmate in Oklahoma while I figure out what to do. Now that said the unfortunate news is once my housemates pack up the modem and router I'm going to have little to no internet access from when I leave Thursday afternoon for AC (I'm stopping at a friend's along the way so won't be there until Friday) until I get settled in on the 17th at the earliest and that assumes the weather doesn't delay me and I don't decide to stop and see friends along the way. Otherwise it could be over two weeks. This is not to worry those people I know on here and regularly comment on here or their Patreon if I go dark for 2 weeks.

I'm still a bit unbalanced from all this as I had anticipated nothing changing until next month or so when the lease was up, or deciding to stay put through the winter to build up a nice nest egg for next year. I'm hoping to get some good insight in the guided meditation panel on Saturday since previous guided meditations at MFF and FC have been very valuable to me in learning more of my wolf and ostrich spirit guides. There are a lot of good panels planned Friday and Saturday. I'm also excited and nervous about the move since it's a potential fresh start but if things go sideways like they've done here the past year it could damage some friendships.


P.S. Must at some point go and upload more art gotten this year and last year.

I know a lot of people don't read journals unless it has the words "Free (art)" or if it's someone you always read their journals no matter what but a friend sent me a link for a design contest by Jim Henson’s Creature Shop™ so I thought I'd advertise it to those fellow artists that watch me and potentially spread the word further. The winner of the contest will receive $500 and their design will be crafted and built to possibly be used as a cameo in the upcoming Netflix original series The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance. http://www.darkcrystal.com/design_contest.php


I haven't seen The Dark Crystal in years but I loved it and everything Jim Henson in the 80's. The contest runs through November 22nd so maybe once things stabilize here, we get done moving, and I get settled into a job I can consider also coming up with something for it.

Here on Mother's Day we honor those women that have raised us, nurtured and inspired us through our lives be they a single parent or married, adopted, an aunt, grandmother, or other relation. Yo those that have been mothers to us and/or to others. We honor these women in a way that we don't do to fathers though true fatherhood is no less important to a child's development.

On this day some of us will get to see and spend time with these special women in our lives, others will have to settle for phone or online messages or cards due to distances our lives can take us from family, and still others are unable to wish their mother well or hear from their child/children because of conflicts that have weakened relations. I know of someone dear whom falls into this last and my one wish was for her to have the chance to tell her mother 'Happy Mother's Day' on this day. I don't know if or when things may improve enough between them to allow it but I hope she is able to at some point.

It's been a pretty busy week for Death what with George Michael passing away on Sunday and Carrie Fisher on Tuesday but in all that it was easy to miss that Watership Down and Shardik author Richard Adams passed away last Saturday, the 24th, at the age of 96.


I want to say I was introduced to Watership Down at the age of 11 and I completely fell in love with the book. It's probably the book I've reread the most over the years and I really loved it the Christmas my mom found a copy of the 1978 movie on VHS. I still have that VHS copy (and the soundtrack to the movie is the most expensive CD I've ever bought) though the sound is worn out in some areas so I would really like to find a DVD version of it (I recall seeing one about 7 or 8 years ago). I still listen to the soundtrack now and then and can name every section of the movie each piece of music is from. The 1996 sequel Tales from Watership Down is still enjoyable even if it suffers from the same thing many book series or sequels have when there is a significant period of time between them- the tone and some of the characters feel different. There was a TV series that ran from 1999-2001 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watership_Down_(TV_series) ) but I'd never seen it, though apparently the DVD movie I have is a two part episode from season 2.


I do have to admit that I never read the Redwall books until a few years ago and each time I'd read one I found myself comparing them to Watership Down in a negative way as the characters and world in Watership Down felt more fleshed out and realistic; less black and white and instead full of the grays that we deal with irl. Watership Down was also a book willing to include death, and the 1978 movie would probably be flirting with an R rating as it shows some of that brutality and themes. That and I still cry at the end of the movie. Shardik I read in high school, and while pleasant to read, it didn't captivate me as much as Watership Down.


The BBC and Netflix are doing a four hour miniseries next year based on Watership Down (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watership_Down_(miniseries) ) and while I'm quite interested in seeing it, especially as it voices such talent as James McAvoy, John Boyega, and Ben Kingsley, I admit it's going to be weird as the animation and voices of the original are what I think of when I reread the book.


I think most older members (25yrs+) of the fandom would say that Watership Down played an important part to them growing up, if nothing else it showed you could have a mature, anthropomorphic story that appealed to a wide audience regardless whether it was adult or a child. It also apparently inspired the first rpg to feature non-humanoid players (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bunnies_%26_Burrows ) and was considered superior to Dungeons and Dragons when it released in 1976. It's amazing that this story was rejected 7 times before Adams found a publisher willing to publish it. Adams' impact may not have been huge but the stories he told have had wide ripples.

It's pretty widely known that because of the disruptions and damage caused in RF 2015 the venue was having to look over at the other side of the state in Spokane for a hotel that was large enough to hold RF for 2016, and even then it was really one of the few options available if there was going to be a chance of there being Rainfurrest 2016. There have been rumors lately that the hotel chosen in Spokane is no longer going to be hosting RF and coupled with an exodus of some senior staff, including apparently the Conchair. Whether they are true or not it has been officially decided by RF's Board of Directors there will be no Rainfurrest in 2016 (so they're probably true rumors).


https://www.rainfurrest.org/2016/20.....nfurrest-2016/


I personally would still really like to go to another con this year though the timing this year with my planned trip down to Texas in June makes it difficult financially and the choices for the later part of 2016 still are dependent on what happens with the house here and if it requires moving.

So I arrived home a short bit ago from FC and I am still working through the 600 or so new submissions here on FA from my watch list during my absence. While I unfortunately didn't get to see everyone I had hoped to meet up with while there it was a fun time and I feel I got more of a con experience than 2014 MFF even if I stayed at a motel a couple blocks from the con. I made up for not buying anything at RF this past year by purchasing things both in the Dealer's Den and the Art Show. Fortunately there is a Safeway grocery store only a few blocks so I managed to keep eating out down to once a day.

I didn't make quite as many panels as I had hoped to and how they were arranged in blocks kept down the overall available number (though did allow for periods for food/other breaks) but most of the ones I made were fun, including even a Meet and Greet and for the first time I managed to make a Dead Dog Dance as the final con event. A guided meditation class allowed me a much closer bond with the ostrich spirit I picked up from MFF so I might get him drawn again (and yes I know it's a male now). I took time out from the con Sunday morning to go to the Happy Hollow Zoo (San Jose's zoo) and while it's a small zoo if I lived there and had kids I would totally get a membership.

The other part of this journal is I'm looking for an artist to make a badge. I'm looking to spend in the neighborhood of $50 or so involving both the unicorn and unibeeplant and this will probably be before shipping costs are added. I know the basic layout I'm looking for and I would have searched for an artist there at FC but I wasn't sure whom would be able or willing to do the beeplant side.

I also hope to catch up on uploads in the next few days on FA submissions from the past few months.

So tomorrow I'm heading out to Further Confusion in San Jose, Ca. for a week as one of my vacations this year. It will be my first time to go to FC, though I know it's one of the big cons. I enjoyed MFF 2014 so I anticipate having a fun time visiting San Jose again.

Besides FC this year I'm considering going to Motor City Fur Con in Michigan in April. As for Rainfurrest this year it's going to depend in part on what happens with the house sale but with it also looking like it's going to be occurring on the other side of the state in Spokane this year (and probably next year also) I will very likely be skipping it after making the last 5 years.

After I get back from FC at some point I really need to sit down and upload quite a number of pictures I've commissioned or have received as gift art the past 3-4 months. I hope everyone's 2016 has been going decently so far.

I know this movie made the buzz here on FA when it was announced a couple months back but I only recently got around to seeing the trailers for it. Honestly... I'm a little underwhelmed. Sure it features anthromorphic/furry-like characters but it could be argued that movies such as Over the Hedge, The Nut Job, the Madagascar series (which I didn't find all that good), the Kung-fu Panda movies, Fantastic Mr. Fox, the Ice Age series, and many other movies have done it in a way that does it but also gives a very non-human feel to the characters.

From the trailers of Zootopia I get the feeling that one could change the species of the characters and all it would do for the character is change the stereotype for that species. Maybe it's simply that I personally like anthro/furry characters that are more than just human shaped. Sure much of the fandom is excited that Disney is doing a movie that is "furry" but until I see something more that interests me I'm going to pass or at least wait until it's on rental.



Info on the movie and the trailers can be found at http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2948356/

Okay I'm passing on going back to MFF this year to instead take advantage of the January lull at work and use up a full week of current year vacation at that time to check out FC. It will be my third time to visit the San Francisco/San Jose area but my first to do FC.

That said I am looking for a room so I can start reserving tickets and see how destroyed my budget will be at the start of the year. If anyone knows someone looking for another person for a room I would appreciate getting their contact info. If that doesn't work I am looking into the alternative of trying to get a room a couple blocks away at the Ramada or somewhere else, in which case there will be a spot or more open for someone to help offset the cost of the room.

So even though I told myself last time I was going to upload stuff more often instead of sitting on it until I end up with a number of things to post I managed to do an even worse job this time. Some of these do go back a bit and at the time of this journal I have two commissions being worked on (one of which is almost done).

Since it's been about a year since my last journal regarding Titanfall, and for 2013 it was Diablo 3, so I figured it was time for another and this year to expand things. 2014 wasn't exactly a stellar year for video games and 2015 so far has not really shown itself to be better. A lot of games came out but not many made a splash.


I think part of this problem was games like Titanfall, Watch Dogs, Destiny, Thief (2014), Elder Scrolls Online, Battlefield Hardline, Assassins Creed Unity, Evolve, Order 1886, and Sims 4 spent months overhyping themselves up and (aside from ESO to the best of my knowledge) whoring themselves out with preorder stuff and launch DLC. Sure all of those games had some interesting ideas in them and were functional but as a whole were mostly 'meh' and most players have moved on (Full disclosure Destiny is the only one of those games I've played myself and the mechanics and graphics were quite good but gameplay felt like all the parts I dislike about Borderlands 2 without most of the stuff I do like about the Borderlands series). In particular Titanfall and Destiny have a lot of potential but I feel they bungled how they do expansions and new content to keep players interested in the series; Titanfall has admitted to correcting it due to the problems it caused in splitting its community. Pricing has also hurt the appeal of some of these games as a $60 retail online multiplayer only game is a hard sell, even more so if they have $DLC.


COD: Advanced Warfare, Dragon Age: Inquisition, and Diablo 3: Reaper of Souls managed to salvage their respective series after their previous games turned off a lot of players (even if Advanced Warfare could be mistaken as a new IP if it wasn't piggybacking on the Call of Duty name).


Halo: The Master Chief Collection and Assassins Creed Unity was mocked for significant technical or graphical issues upon launch while the simultaneously released Assassins Creed Rogue was given no marketing so players didn't know of it even though it reviewed better than Unity. Following in no marketing Fantasia: Music Evolved is probably the best use of the Kinect outside of the Dance Central games and has been a lot of fun to watch my housemates play it (think Elite Beat Agents for console).


Nintendo appears to finally have found its footing with Mario Kart 8, SSB 4, Bayonetta 2, and Hyrule Warriors though still is struggling outside of its first party lineup. And Activision continues to let EA and Ubisoft keep drawing attention away from its own poor gamer practices as it sucked up money alongside Advanced Warfare with World of Warcraft: Warlords of Draenor, Hearthstone, and Skylanders: Trap Team (I'll bet $50 they'll continue their yearly releases with Skylanders 5 in November); all of which reviewed well though are not cheap to get into.


More than anything I'd say the past year was the year of series sequels as not only all the above games but you also had Dark Souls 2, Borderlands: the Presequel, and Wolfenstein: The World Order. Some of the few "original" IPs that were given high reviews were Alien Isolation and Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor.


Indies have seen some hits with the Five Nights at Freddy's series, Shovel Knight, Elite: Dangerous, and Cities: Skylines (the latter which has largely made a mockery of SimCity 2013 in city building)


So what's in the pipeline this next year? Potentially a lot and we'll likely see a lot announced for the holiday season in the next few months. I'm sure I missed some games so feel free to leave a comment and we might get a fun discussion going.

So we're comfortably into 2015 now. I know it's still early to know for sure but hopefully it will be a good year for everyone. 2014 seemed to be a down year for most people and it was mixed for me with the 1st half slightly below average and the 2nd half pretty good (I admit it did help that both of my housemates found employment).


Furian talked me into coming out to MFF last month as my vacation for last year and I have to admit it was a lot of fun as it was my first con to go to besides Rain Furrest. And just to get it out of the way I was at a different hotel than where the chemical incident occurred and I stayed with Shoal-ennth and his housemate (whom is totally going to noogie me as I'm blanking on his FA name). I was surprised that the con itself didn't start until Friday and how many people were already there on Thursday. I got to also meet a few people I'd talked with on Skype the past year and like most people I probably overspent while there. I'd be up for going again some year though it's still too early to say what my plans for cons this year is going to be aside from almost certainly RF.


Now one thing that I've mentioned to some and not others is that an ostrich spirit followed me around the final day of Chicago and for a couple days afterwards once back home. I had already been chatting via notes regularly with Faeseiren and when I made mention of this and from it we got talking rare furry species, she decided that since it was a species she'd never drawn before she did http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15199123/ for fun. I do have to admit that if I ever was an avian I suspect that a flightless bird like an ostrich or rhea would be a good match for me.


I'm not sure what happened to the ostrich as I haven't felt it in about a month; instead I've been feeling my normally dormant wolf side. So much that I gathered up some notes I took after a guided meditation in 2013 and contacted Faeseiren about a commission of a picture of him. It's coming out quite well and should be done and posted within a week or two.


What might delay me uploading it is my grandfather passed away last Tuesday at the age of 96 so I will be flying down to Houston next week for his service. I was planning to take a trip down there around the end of March/beginning of April since I haven't been back there to see family and friends since Oct 2013 and would still like to even if I'm going to have to take a hard look at finances since I am also overdue for medical, dental, and vision checkups, and I keep putting off getting some work on my truck's fuel system. The good news from it is I hope to work more on my sequel to Unicorn's 2nd Mate and I did manage to get past a block on the trip home from MFF and churned out 2 more pages before I started to make my seatmate uncomfortable due to writing unicorn and dragon porn. If I write a 3rd story to the 'series' I think I want to work in Faeseiren and her mate into it and I think I know how to do it since in this story world there are community unicorn "groups" for at least parts of the year.