I have no idea how long it's been there, but today I found a drop down menu that claimed "Draw - New!"... I'm pretty sure they've had some kind of drawing tool before, so I clicked it.

It loaded a canvas and the selected tool wanted me to "Enter a prompt!"

So it's not a drawing tool, it's just another AI-shill... thanks for nothing I guess...

I got stuck in that thought again... Like... why should I draw? Why should I write? I'm uninspiring, what I do don't further the mediums...

It's weird how you can unlearn previous lessons. It's alright to draw for myself. It's alright to write for myself. Getting a thought out from my mind into something tangible always brings some satisfaction, even though it didn't end up exactly like I wanted it. It's alright if I'm the only one who feels something when I look at my own stuff, because ultimately it was meant for me. Sure would be nice if I could spread the joy, but in the end that should not matter.

Part of me still wants to post all those half finished stories and chapters that are sitting on my hard drives... If I put them out there maybe I could get some feedback and actually evolve. I don't have a lot of pictures to post thankfully, since I did a dump of them a couple of years ago... time sure flies.

Ugh... and I still am curious about 3d modeling... Like I need more stuff to feel bad over not accomplishing. That is a serious investment though

You know... I don't support the way AI is getting used for image generation to replace artists

But... Have you noticed that feeding a couple of well chosen prompts into a good image generator actually gives you the results you want unlike say... the search bar on Deviant Art that is optimized for monetization these days?

I can't write smut. I always complicate with feelings and crap... you know... aside from being a bad writer.

I was feeling good about my drawings for a while there, like I was getting better. Then I made the mistake of looking at what I did a year ago and I realized I've hardly made any progress at all

They are cuddling right now... should I save sexy times for an eventual later chapter or should I go all out in chapter one?

A white car in a tunnel with yellow lights surely is a taxi... good job

I did pour a bunch of stuff into the scraps, sorry if I flooded your feed. Anyway, it was a bunch of stuff I drew in 2021 that I never came around to posting for one reason or another

That's what I'd like to practice I think... I mean... I need more practice in general as usual, but I kind of feel like there is a bit of a bottleneck in my sketching when I hit faces and hands... Oh well... Let's see what 2022 brings...

I'm kind of tempted to do a massive dump of things I've drawn this year... But looking back it feels like I haven't really progressed as much as I like to think I have...

One of my biggest flaws is that I settle too soon when I draw... It's a strange remnant from drawing on paper. When I was young I hated to erase stuff in fear of doing worse and leaving the paper a mess, which lead to me being able to identify mistakes but never doing anything about them, and looking at all the mistakes felt discouraging.

I still do this even though I draw digitally these days. There is no reason to be though. I can literally erase lines with no trace, so the paper won't be worse for wear and I have unlimited tries to do better line work... but I still am afraid to correct stuff... I'm getting better at it, at least I think I am.

I don't know... I feel like I'm in a hurry. I want to get stuff out of my head and be done with it. But I also want to get better... Part of me is like "Correct you art!" and another part is "It's better to keep on going and learn from the mistakes and hopefully not repeat them". And of course there is the whole "You shouldn't draw, you suck" but I try to ignore that and just have fun you know... I stopped drawing for 10 years and that didn't make me happier, so I should keep it up... or something...

I think I have too many ideas at the moment. I can't seem to focus on the one thing... But honestly that's an issue I usually have I guess. It's just been a while since I experienced it last.

Geebus... Had a look at some old stuff outside of FA... I've been posting stories since august 2010. You'd really think I'd either have stopped or gotten better by now, but clearly much hasn't changed... well... I have almost stopped posting shitty stories and now I'm posting shitty drawings instead

Thank you. Perhaps I don't say that enough. It was really nice of you to invest your time and click my stuff

you just need to celebrate the small victories... I know my scrappy doodles isn't much, but sometimes it just feels nice you know? To put the stylus on that phone and what comes out of your head is somewhat the thing you imagined...

Anyway... I know I need to practice even more... I really need to up my detail game. Clothes, digits, shadows... and those pesky faces...

I just want to have the skills to draw a shrinking woman being handled somewhat roughly by a teddy bear... Is that too much to ask? A good old role reversal, you know? Big woman snuggles toy, toy want more than snuggles, toy gets more than snuggles... I know there already are sequences like it out there, but I still want to be able to draw it myself...

...the stupid things that leads nowhere?

I mean... I know I'm not a good artist. I draw stuff when I get in the zone and then I look at it and think "Huh... this is not a complete thought. I'll save this concept and redo it when I can formulate it better." Should I just post that stuff anyway?

It's kind of nice in a sense... I've been so swamped with work and stuff at home that my creative side has been suppressed somewhat... and I'm fine with that. To have a bit of tangible stress instead of the abstract need to create has been somewhat peaceful.

For some reason I got a bit excited. One of my pictures has been viewed 99 times, and I thought: Wow! My first picture to soon break a 100 views!

I was wrong. I flipped through the statistics and realized 3 of my pictures has already broken a 100 views, I just forgot about them for some reason.

Not that it matters much, but it feels nice, that at least some people click my thumbnails. Thanks for that

You know what pisses me off? Apps telling me "You can't use our app to produce porn"

I have no idea how well they enforce this, but that fucking clause shouldn't exist I feel. Why can't I do whatever the fuck I want with a program I download on my computer? Yeah yeah, don't reverse engineer, don't pirate, don't sell illegal copies, I agree that some rules have to exist, but... If I want to draw naked people in a good program I downloaded I feel like I should be able to.

Instead of telling people "Don't use our program to produce porn" perhaps you should say "Hey, we have embedded social media into our platform here. Please respect that some people who use this platform don't want to see smut, so don't post it here." But no... Let's just bring the ban hammer down... you can fuck right off with your TOS...

Should I post a story here even though it's not strictly a furry story?

I should just doodle more I think... I take myself way to seriously...

I'm obsessed with textures at the moment... Nipple texture, areola texture, labia majora/minora... Basically any skin you can't show in public... I'd love to take my makro lens and go on a body exploration mission, but I have no idea how to approach a model, because it's such a self indulgent request... but then again, isn't that part of the arts? To take something I find interesting and exploring the shit out of it and showing the result to others? Oh well, it's not going to happen I guess...

On another note, I've been thinking about taking stock photos on all manners of ordinary stuff for use in fetish collages... I've found that a lot of stock has disclaimers for use in NSFW stuff... But most likely there are places where people can get their stock anyways...

I was looking for something to draw, going through references... I wanted to practice, but I felt particular... so not finding what I wanted to draw I instead made collages I can't share... and the collages put me in the mood to write, because I liked the scenarios I put together, so I fleshed them out, but then I felt like my words were lacking and I started to wish I could draw a comic instead... That's usually my process... endless circle arguments with myself of how to produce rather than actually producing

There are 48 published chapters from me online. I use the word published as in I have submitted something online for others to read.

There are 28 documents in my Finished folder... I use the term finished very loosely here because only some of them are actually finished chapters that I've published. Others are chapters that I abandoned and rewrote because I didn't like the direction they were heading. In fact, only 20 were published, but I kind of want to keep the discarded chapters somewhere, and the finished folder seemed kind of apt since I'm kind of done with them in a way...

So there is a 28 chapter discrepancy there. 28 published chapters that isn't in my folder of completed works. That's because some of them were published three computers ago. I have a habit of shoving my broken hard drives in storage thinking "I'll save what I can from that later".

There are 11 stories published by me. 48 chapters divided over 11 stories. Here's the kicker: 4 of them are completed works. The rest are just hanging around. Some of them from three computers ago. I should get to work on that... Either just scrap them or grab myself by the balls and just... finish them...

Then there is my unfinished folder... 55 documents with chapters started and completely new stories that I start whenever I feel stuck trying to figure out where to take my older works... I have some kind of problem...